The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hey y'all... my name is Lisa, I'm a recovering alcoholic... and realized over the past few months that I should probably be in Alanon as well... I've been going to the AA forum here on MIP for quite awhile now...
I'm originally from Memphis, TN... I left my (alcoholic???) husband in December... moved to Nebraska in January to live with a man that I met through AA... who is now my boyfriend... We've got a small farm, bf already had chickens and a guinea... well, I got into raising critters too and we now have tons of chicks, and 3 baby guineas, and 5 baby turkeys... and I plan to get more lol Going to school this fall for agriculture with a focus on livestock, and plan to start up a hatchery... I've found my calling in life lol Oh and we've got sheep here that we borrow from a neighbor to keep the weeds and grass "mowed" lol Also have 2 dogs - bf has a border collie, and I've got a german shepherd/sheltie mix... and 2 cats - a black and white one, and a yellow striped that's pregnant, about ready to pop any day now lol
Anyway... I went to a round up here in March, and heard an Alanon speaker for the first time, and I could relate so much to what she said, looking back at how I was with exhusband... the controllingness, trying to fix things, making up excuses for him, lying to cover up things he did... (which I'm sure he did all of those things for me as well when I was drinking...). I didn't think I was being that way with current boyfriend though, and kinda put the idea of trying alanon on the back burner...
Well, lately, boyfriend has been on a dry drunk... and it's getting to me a lot, having a hard time handling it... and noticed these tendencies popping back up in me, wanting to control the situation, wanting to fix him and what all is going on, yet at the same time knowing I'm powerless over it and can't really control it, that I need to give it up to my higher power... It's soooo frustrating!!!
I went to my first alanon meeting last night... and could relate a little... I told them that I didn't know if I belonged there, and afterward a couple of people told me I was in the right place...
I was at an AA meeting a few days ago, and my bf's sponsor was there, and he said that AA saved his life the first time, and Alanon saved it the second time... that sorta prompted the idea to go... bf was gone last night, at our friend's farm for at least a night or two, so I took that as a chance to try out a meeting...
I did tell him I went, and he thought it was good, said that his sponsor told him a long time ago that he needs to be going to one alanon meeting a week, but he doesn't do it. My AA sponsor thought it was good that I went as well...
I don't know, I didn't hear a *whole* lot I related to at that meeting, but I related so much when I heard that speaker, I really am pretty sure that I belong in Alanon... I will try some more meetings too... and thought joining this forum might help as well, as the AA forum here has helped tons in my recovery...
There is such a broad range of reasons why people come to alanon - growing up in an alcoholic home is one thing, wondering whether you should continue to date a boy who drinks a lot is quite another. Not everything at an alanon meeting will apply to your situation. However, if you give it some time, you will probably find that there is a nugget of something for you in almost every share. You might want to try a few different meetings, until you find one that feels right to you.
Welcome to the MIP group!!! We have lots of people here that love critters and are raising a few as well. I think its awesome that you have this calling in your life. By the sound of your post I think your sponser is right, Alanon would be a good balance to help you out with detaching with the B/F. We are all on our own private journey in life but yet have to co-exist with each other, hopefully in peace. Keep going to those meetings eventually one might just grab at ya. Look forward to hearing more from you on your progress and your experience, strength, and hopes. Good luck with those little critters. Have a great weekend.
Peace, Twinmom~
__________________
"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
I went to another alanon meeting this morning... I was up all night, and figured I should hit a meeting early since I didn't know if I'd be awake for the evening meetings lol so headed into town this morning, and I really liked the alanon meeting I went to, a lot of really nice people, and I dunno, it was a tradition meeting, and I wasn't getting a whole lot from it (I haven't really gotten into the traditions much in AA yet either)... and so I just shared a little of why I was there, and then the next couple of people decided to tell me a bit about them, and how similar their situations were to what mine is, and that helped a lot, gave me something I could relate to... one had a husband who is a recovering alcoholic, and she just started alanon, and then there were 2 recovering alcoholics, a married couple, who were in alanon as well. So, I felt like I got a bit more from this meeting, and really enjoyed it, they all told me they hope I come back next week... but... it's a 10am meeting, I *rarely* get into town that early... but I think I will try to, set the alarm early or something, so I can go back to that one, because I liked it a lot.
I asked someone there about what books I ought to get, and went to the central office after the meeting and picked up the basic text (how alanon works, I think?) and a meditation book (don't ask which it is, I was half asleep when I bought it, and still half asleep now lol it's the newer one that has come out is what they told me...)... Tried to do an AA meeting while I was there, but made it through about half the meeting and was about to pass out, came home and took a nap lol woke up feeling like I've been run over by a train... not enough sleep lol trying to wake up a bit now
I will keep trying out more meetings... from just glancing over the meeting directory, there aren't really a whole lot here, although there are tons over the weekend. I know it is the same as with AA, I'll have to keep trying different meetings until I find ones I like and feel comfortable at. I may call up bf's sponsor also, and ask him about some of the meetings here, he used to go to one every night, and said he now has one a week he goes to.
Anyway, thanks again for welcoming me here... I know the MIP AA forum has been one of my favorites that I go to, I hope the Alanon forum here is just as good and will feel like a "family" to me as the AA one does :) I'll be keeping in touch, have been checking in the chat room a bit to see if anyone's there... was in there a bit early this morning, but haven't seen anyone there this afternoon...
Hello and welcome Lisa~ I hope you keep coming back,cause there's alot of great support and recovery here;) I relate to some of your story,as I too am divorced. It's kinda an "awakening" when we can see our part in the "whole picture"..bittersweet sometimes..but I do believe we are all right where we are supposed to be in the right time. Awareness is the first step ;) Glad you found us~ Carla
__________________
It works if you work it , so work it YOU'RE worth it <3
Welcome to AlAnon on MiP!!! It is great to see you working your AA program, by way of coming over and getting experience, strength and hope on this side of the house. My sponsor, who happens to be a "doublewinner", has explained to me on many occasions the importance of UNDERSTANDING what you are saying and who you are saying it to. As a certifiable Al-Anonic, I try to attend at least 2 open AA meetings a month. I find myself thinking clearer and understanding more of what part I play in the messy matters.
Anyhoo, welcome and best wishes in finding out more about Lisa!!! with love cj
__________________
time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
Keep going to those meetings eventually one might just grab at ya. Look forward to hearing more from you on your progress and your experience, strength, and hopes. Good luck with those little critters. Have a great weekend.