I am finally learing something...to take care of me through setting realistic boundaries :) and I am so happy!

Last weekend I went to my parents house to celebrate my A-dad's b-day and father's day (a week early).  My dad has gone to rehab and has relapsed 1 1/2 years latter. At first I was angry and hurt because we had set up an intervention for him to get him into rehab and then went to counseling, which put us through a lot of emotional stuff.  I even felt guily for some reason, like I didn't do enough to keep him sober, which I know is complete bull. 

But what has made this whole situation much much easier to handle is setting boundaries.  I have decided if he is drinking, I will not see him.   I must do this to stay in control of my emotions and sane in my every day life.  My dad is aware of these boundaries.  So, on Saturday before I went to my parents, I called to make sure my dad was not drinking.  He was not, so I went home and he stayed sober the whole time so I was able to have a nice visit with my folks with no drinking and no drama!  If I did not set this boundary, I am almost positive my dad would have been intoxicated throughout the whole visit. 

I know the day will come when I will have to inforce my boundaries and not show up to my parents or leave early bcz of his drinking, but now I don't feel guilty about it.  My dad knows my boundaries and knows the consequences of crossing those boundaries.  I am not doing anything hurtful to anyone by setting boundaries and following through.  I am getting better....