The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just feel all beat up and like a loser. I just want to curl up and cry but whenever I do that I feel like I lost again. Ah took my wallet and went to the store last night after I was asleep. Shouldn't be so dissappointed, but we were supposed to do something today, and he can't get up, he has a headache and he stayed up all night. And I'm going through the bills, my check I just got yesterday is gone now. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. He wont work. I can't get him to do anything useful, other than drive me to work. I just want to give up. But I feel like I already did that. So now what?
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I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
Rj, having a good cry doesn't mean you have lost again. To me it means I have let out the emotion, and now I am ready to face whatever I must. This situation has got to be terrible, and I am sorry it has happened to you. I always wish I could find a magic word that, when spoken, would ease everyone's sadness, anger, despair...but there isn't one. I am thinking about you and keeping my positive energy going in your direction. Hang tough. You are NOT defeated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Diva
-- Edited by Diva at 16:55, 2007-05-26
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Your not defeated sweetheart you just need to make a plan and move forward. I've heard alot of members here say the old saying "don't go down with the sinking ship" I believe in that. I'm sorry you are going through this. Maybe now you know to keep a better eye on your things. I know your heart took a good punch. But please do not think that YOU have done anything wrong. We all make mistakes and you were trusting to leave your purse lying around, not your fault...it was his. Can you job cancel the check and cut you a knew one? Just an idea. I know you feel lost. I hope things get better. You deserve better. ^i^
Crying is so good for you. Much healthier than holding things in and letting them explode. You are far from defeated. Contact the companies that you owe money to and explain the situations. When A left, I had to make some adjustments and one of them was to let a company know that I was struggling a bit. Most companies will work with you. If you are here in the states contact Consumer Credit Counceling. It's a nonprofit and can help you. It doesn't mean that you are a bad person. It means that you need someone on your side.
I know it seems like an impossible task, but start to stow away in a separate account a few dollars here and there. Make sure it only has your name on it. You'd be surprised how quickly it ads up. Just keep all the account records where he can't get at them. Ask a friend if you can have it mailed to their house or perhaps your work place. That way he will never know.
As hard as this may seem, when hubby was active, I learned (albeit a bit late in the program) to never make plans with him. The majority of the time they fell through. It stinks, but in the end it saved a lot of agony and heartbreak on my part.
Hang in there. It does get better, little by little. You are certainly no failure. You are a welcome and treasured member of this family.
Love and blessings to you.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
(((RJ))) you're not defeated and you're not a loser... When we reached the point where nothing more than pennies stayed in the kids banks, and I couldn't sleep because I was running out of hiding places for my purse, I bought a combination safe - no key required, and I was the only one with the combination. I emptied the kids piggy banks into ziploc bags with their names and locked 'em up, along with my pocketbook and keys whenever I came in the house. There was never enough to pay all the bills in there, but at least I knew I wasn't going to wake up without lunch or milk money for the kids... Let the tears fall when you have to; I almost always feel better after I give in and cry. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
