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Post Info TOPIC: moving to separation


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1718
Date:
moving to separation


I am moving past all the ambivalence all the stuff that kept me tied up with the A.  All the "ifs" "if onlys" the "why" even.  I am moving past to say I have had enough.  I can no longer take his actions.  I can no longer be made all the time to be the patsy to the consequences of his actions. I deserve more.

The place I live in currently besides being small, tiny really, is a hothouse.  When it is warm, as it is now I can barely breathe.  Normally I would be seething with resentment towards the A for the situation I am in. I no longer am. He is out of the picture. When I clean up this one last mess he will not be in my life anymore.  I will have no further contact with him.

I know it will kill me not to see my dogs anymore. I have had to pray about them and turn it all over to HP.  I doubt very much the A will take batterers counselling and without that there is no futher contact for me.  I also doubt he will give up substances after all he's been doing them his entire adult life.  I believe right now the project he is working on is the local bar.  He waited for that all summer. 

I'm no longer willing to center my life around the A.  Unfortunately for me right now in the clean up, in getting my truck, in sorting out the rent/landlord situation much of it is centered around his actions.  Nevertheless this is time limited and that is a great solace to me. There will be no more after this.

Maresie.

__________________
maresie


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 859
Date:

I wish you the best. This is one of the hardest but one of the best steps you can make. You will see the rewards of your desision very soon once you make the moves. Good luck sweetness. You have us to lean on. xoxo

__________________



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1371
Date:

(((((Maresie)))))

You are already seeing the rewards in taking responsability for your own life. It is truely an inspiration. You have us all in your corner!

Take care of you!

__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
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