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I picked up the other two kids and told them that I was going to line them all up and ask the culprit to come forward. They already knew that I knew it was'nt them and I told them not to mention that I had been to their school and checked to see if they had it. I offered the opportunity to step forward and made it clear I knew who it was. If the person stepped forward they would get 1/2 the punishment. Of course she didn't...
She got 2 weeks of grounding, a $50 fine to be worked off in addition to her regular chores and she has to miss the next field trip for school.
Here were her reasons: I never give her any money - she never has any (this is true but I don't have it to give)
Her sister does it and gets away with it (she's like ferris bueller and never gets caught)
Her sister steals her money from her so she didn't have any cash for lunch (this is unproven but probably true)
About 10 mins after she admitted to taking the money she profusely denied until then. She was hoping that a late admission would mitigate the punishment but I pointed out that she missed that opportunity. I need to work on ways to provide an allowance of some sort so they have a little money. I buy them clothes and take them to do fun stuff all the time and if I quit that I'd have the money but they would all suffer the loss. If they were all old enough to be home alone I could let them choose to spend their earned money on all that or stay home but they're not. It's so complicated. When the younger ones mess up everyone suffers because we all have to miss fun stuff so it really isn't fair.
Well that's what I did, it worked out ok hopefully it is a good lesson and it won't happen again. also hopefully I will figure out a way to get them some money so they aren't the only ones in a group without any. I had one of my daughter's friends tell her that her mom didn't want them to hang out because they "weren't in the same social class". Pretty sad and the girl didn't agree with the parent but this is life and 90% of the time it's all about money.
As far as allowance goes, I have the same problem w/my son. I cannot afford to pay him a steady allowance. And I always fall back on the fact that I never got an allowance growing up. My siblings and I were required to do all the house & yard chores at our house and our grandma's. Our payment, as my dad always put it, was the roof over our head and the food on the table. I stick to that philosophy w/my kids. Rubish I know but it shuts them up for a while.
I do try to allow my son to go do things with friends once in a while and give him some money to do it with. I am talking, going to the movies once in a blue moon or out to a fast food restaurant for a quick bite. But I can tell you, it isn't often. There are loads of free things to do in my book. Besides that, he is only 13-3/4 years old. He doesn't have free reign to just run around anyway....so everything he does involves someone's parents. Therefore expenses are usually not too bad.
You did great. Keep up the awesome work. Sincerely, QOD
Any possibility of her earning some money for herself? Mowing lawns, shovelling snow, raking leaves, babysitting, reading to a senior, mom's helper? Allowance is great, but if you haven't got it, you haven't got it. A kid still needs some money.
And, if siblings are stealing from her, seems only fair that they should get the same type of punishments.
She's only 12 but she's looking into making money. I can't prove the thefts of the others and neither can she. We don't know which one is doing it and frequently she puts things somewhere and then finds them later after accusing...
