The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thank you all for the comforting words the other night. I was in a pretty low spot and just needed to get it out. Yesterday was a much better day. My son is feeling better too and finally got to enjoy his TMNT cake after dinner. We went to the detox center yesterday evening to see AH. The boys were so excited to see their Daddy. He looked so much better. He wasn't pasty grey like the last time I saw him, even his teeth looked healthier. He was playing with the kids and it seemed like he was his old self again. He'll be transferring to a half-way house with some other male friends this week. He'll be able to get linked to the mental health agency and get any medications he needs for his depression for free. A friend who is very resourceful in the program is going to see if he can get my AH food stamps to give to us to use for food. That would be a big help. At this time my AH appears to be focused on getting sober. The suggested amount of time to be in the halfway house is 6 months, but if AH wants more time I will honor that too. This gives me time to do things I need to do for myself financially and personally as well. He appears to still want marriage and family and of course I want that too, but have to see the changes he is making. It all sounds good but until I see the actions and changes for myself I am not convinced yet. Of course I will not tell him that, I just said It sounds like a good program for you to be in and left it at that. He is still not in the frame of mind to think about his responsibilities yet. He made a comment about working with my brother last night making 500 a week, paying his rent and pocketing the rest. I stayed quiet but thought, wow!! too bad he's not thinking I can make 500 a week pay my rent and then give my wife some money every week to help her raise our children. Still blows me away how self-absorbed he is. I imagine old behaviors like that die hard for the A.
So, I'm resigned to let go, let go of fears of the unknown, let go of fears of my financial woes, let go of fears about my marriage. Only HP knows what is in store for us. 6 months is not a long time when someone thinks about how long the A gave to drinking and screwing up their lives. 6 months of program and sobriety could mean a lifetime of health and healing. After I posted the other night, I went out on my porch and prayed and thought about something I used to share with people who were hurting. I do believe that everyday someone stays sober is a chance for HP to minister to their souls, its a chance for barriers to be broken. Everyday a person chooses to remain sober is an opportunity for miracles to happen. I pray that for my AH and others who are still struggling that the barriers and walls get torn down so that HP has a chance to share something good with them.
Thanks MIP Friends for your support and love. Have a great day today Peace, Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
Sounds like you are in a good place right now. Stay strong and stay true to yourself. 6 Months will fly by. You'll see. You will have some time to heal and so will he. Good luck to the both of you and to your children. :) You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I think you are very courageous, well done, you are in a good place now, this will be a chance for you to focus on you and my best wishes are with you.
I'm new to this place, and I don't really know your story. But I want to give something back because everyone has been so lovely to me. And that started right now, in reading your post and in just saying that I want to send you my love. I hope that's okay.
It's a crazy world we live in. Good the kiddo's got to see thier Dad. Good they have a Mom who is looking out for thier best interests.
I spend a lot of time I could have been looking out for my kids.... obsessing, and trying to be her HP.
Just wanted to say thank you as an Adult Child for looking out after your kids. They don't know enough to ask for it, but what you are doing for them will last a lifetime.
Like Rita says, now is a time to make sure and take good care of you too.
So.... take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
After I posted the other night, I went out on my porch and prayed and thought about something I used to share with people who were hurting. I do believe that everyday someone stays sober is a chance for HP to minister to their souls, its a chance for barriers to be broken. Everyday a person chooses to remain sober is an opportunity for miracles to happen. I pray that for my AH and others who are still struggling that the barriers and walls get torn down so that HP has a chance to share something good with them.
Twin Mom;
Thank you for posting that particular bit of wisdom. Last night I was feeling such despair about my own situation ever changing...that was exactly what I needed to hear to day.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your A...and the miracles yet to come.
