The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Why are somedays without my A so much easier than other days? Yesterday was an OK day, but last night I just couldnt sleep because all I could do is think about my ex A B/F. I wondered if he's hurting as much as I am. I wonder if he has tears too. I went to an Alanon mtg last night and it really helped. Then I got home and all I could do is cry. Sometimes I just can't keep it together. This is certainly one of the most emotionally challenging times I've ever had to deal with.
__________________
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want, doesn't mean that they don't love you the best way they know how
I did quite a bit of that kind of thing when my AW and I first seperated. For me part of it was grieving the death of my fantasy of what our relationship was with my wife.
I have heard it said on here many times and it is true in my experience... when you get busy, you get better.
You don't have to deny your feelings, but it is good that you are looking at them to try and understand. That is how you push through to the other side and open yourself to new feelings.
You said "This is certainly one of the most emotionally challenging times I've ever had to deal with. " - boy can everyone relate to that. I think you are doing a great job. Keep up with meetings, share on topics like this... you never know who will spark some healing in you, and who you will help by showing them they are not alone.
Thanks for being here and sharing, it helps us all.
Take care of you!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
do you have a sponsor yet? have you started going to f2f meetings? what about getting involved with a hom group? so long as you're obsessing about him, what he's doing and what you're not, you're gonna be making yourself crazy with misery. It would be wise to get yourself involved in the nuts and bolts of al anon
No I dont have a sponsor yet. The Alanon mtgs that I attend are both men and women. They are very informative and have helped me lots. Some days are just harder than others for me right now. This is still so new to me.
__________________
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want, doesn't mean that they don't love you the best way they know how
I can so relate. When will it end? When will it get easier? When will I stop crying? Doesn't he feel pain too? For myself, I have to load myself up with Alanon literature, meetings, members and so forth. I stay busy and when I am not my thoughts turn to my AHsober and our failed relationship. If I have learned anything in this program it is that it is the disease of alcoholism and there is nothing I can do except focus on myself. No, your and mine are probably not crying. It is their mission to avoid these things. Why are some days harder than others? Probably different triggers. So for myself I am learning to ask my HP to walk with me in those difficult times and help me with my pain. It gets better.
