The material presented
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Okay, sometimes my A is sober and works his program, and sometimes not. And that is testing me, but I am praying and trying really hard to have serenity around it, and take care of myself.
NOW the receptionist in my office, who sits closest to me, has taken to drinking on her smoke breaks. A few weeks ago she started coming back from lunch reeking of booze, and today she came back from her 10:00 break with the same smell. Strangely, she smells identical to my husband when he drinks. It is like I am trapped in some freakish never ending nightmare alcohol flashback.
Clearly I can't do anything about her - nor do I really care to - but gosh, what do you think my HP is trying to teach me here????
Yegads . . . this reminds me of when I worked in a drug rehab all day and came home to my relapsed A at night. I was immersed in addiction 24/7 and I was plenty SICK of it! I was not in a place to be humble enough, as you are, to wonder what my HP was trying to tell me.
Perhaps you've already answered your question. "Clearly I can't do anything about her - nor do I really care to" just about sums up the extent of your power. Perhaps tayloring this to fit your situation with your own A is the wisdom knocking on your door?
Ewww I hope you can avoid getting wrapped up in her problems. Maybe HP is telling you what I've always suspected- we are the minorities, facing adversity with love and patience, yada yada yada. A guy at my work drank beer and brushed his teeth- smelled just like my AH (gross). I thought it was some wierd test of fate and also did not want anything to do with his problem. The thought that occured to me was- did other people see my AH the way people saw this guy? I think it's very likely they did. Now if only they could see themselves... Take care Jamie
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I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
Gross. Sorry but if it were me I would go straight to my boss and have her talked to. That smell that you are talking about just turns my stomach. I can not even be around anybody who's drinking (unless I'm drinking too) because the smell is god awful. I remember my best friend (the one who died recently from alcohol) and she used to give me hugs and always want to kiss me on my cheek and I would smell her breath and just want to gag. My Ah(sober) could just walk by me and I could smell it through his pores. It's a sweet nasty smell. YUCK YUCK YUCK, thanks for reminding me. lmbo. ;)
How wise of Al-Anon to be open to everyone who has been affected by *any*one's drinking.
You have my empathy; one of my bosses progressed from a drink at lunch once in a while to drinking in his car throughout the lunch hour, to drinking in his office-with-a-door at 8:30AM. Since all of my co-workers refused to achknowledge the smell on him, the behavior, the obvious blackouts every afternoon (during which he was very nasty and then back to wanting to be everyone's buddy the next mornng), I waited till he was consulting me on office business and needed a drink so bad that he opened his desk drawer right in front of me and poured a drink out of an obvious bottle with the label removed.
Since it was illegal to drink on the property where I worked or even to possess alcohol, opened or unopened, I was able to get the higher ups to address the problem on my own with one lone co-worker who said she hadn't seen it but had worked with me for 20 years and knew I would not lie abou that drinking in front of me.
Just wanted to share ... don't expect anybody else to support you in getting any problem drinker at work referred for care, warned by supervisors, etc. That's "sposed to be"; real world is quite different.
A lot of the reason I'm in Al-Anon is the sheer number of people whose drinking has affected me during the course of my life..
Sunny, I think you are totally right in that I can't expect anything as far as dealing with the drinking.
I have decided that I will put up with it until I won't, at which point I will give my notice and be very clear as to why I am doing so...and I won't have any expectations as to what the results of that will be.
This is a daily reminder of my lack of power over someone else's drinking, and maybe I can carry over that reminder at home.
Why do people think that they can drink alcohol and no one will smell it? I have never been able to grasp that concept. Brushing their teeth, chewing gum, eating mints....none of that works. Maybe I just have a super sensitive nose....but even the next day I can smell it on someone.
I reckon your HP is simply testing your will. I would definately look into getting some potpouri for your desk, maybe burn a candle if permitted. All I know is it must be tough for you to not even be able to escape the madness of this disease while you are at work. Work has always been my escape from it. A time and place where I can go and not think about the AH's disease.
