The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I ended up with my name on the unlawful detainer (eviction notice) so I have to go take care of that tomorrow. Another typical interaction with the A. He tells the landlord we will move out, doesn't tell me, then gets us evicted. I have to move out leave most of my stuff, leave my pets and he feels sorry for himself. All I hear from him is that I took this and that of his. I have told him he is welcome to look through the stuff I took. He has of course packed nothing at all. He keeps thinking he has for ever.
Now I have to go tomorrow and file a response in order to get my name off the eviction notice. My future rental applications depend on it. I have the lease an d payment history of where I am so I hope that will suffice. I now have to spend half a day doing that when I should be job hunting.
The good news is that I got my unemployment which means I have some funds coming in (rather than nothing ). I am still in the same sense dealing with stuff. I got really really good advice from a battered womens agency (the A has hit me in the past) to play the rest of this move really low key. I have. It is very hard too because I am (a) furious (b) fed up and (c) in fear but I am. The A reacts badly to any sense of being abandoned or not getting what he wants. Of course the relationship has always been entirely on his terms, day one it was always that.
I have a lead on a job in a cafeteria. I've gone from executive assistant project coordinator to dish washer with the A. I've gone from having a home to homeless or practically homeless. I've gone from having money to having none. There is nothing else he can take away from me. He can't take my spirit or my strength or my resilience. I will rebound from this I don't know what I don't know when but I will.
What an opportunity to show your HP, yourself, and even your AH that you are "the strong". When I was at my lowest - no pride, no titles, no esteem, no money or things - I received much much help from doing stepwork. I don't always succeed in keeping an attitude of gratitude, but I try, especially when things are trying.
I hope you know that you aren't alone in all this. I love you and will send brightest blessings your way.
Your friend cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
Sounds like you've got your ducks in a row. If worst comes to worst and you can't get your name off the eviction notice, don't despair. Utilize the social service offices in your community now while you still have a home and ask them for their assistence in helping you avoid being homeless. Additionally, seek their assitence any way. Perhaps they can get you a low cost lawyer or even set you up in subsidized housing.
