The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last night, I was driving my AH to his meeting. I noticed he took his NA book. He mentioned they read from there...I thought that was strange. I thought he was going to AA meetings...no...its NA meetings. He said in AA meetings they dont want to hear about drugs at all..or at least thats what hes been told, but in NA they do talk about alcohol too. He really didnt want to go...just wanted to stay home. I didnt say anything, but he decided to go..When he came home last night, he said it was a good meeting. One of the speakers really made some good points. Im glad he thought that and decided to go afterall. :) This morning he mentioned to me now that he hasnt been drinking alcohol hes constantly waking up during the night...any thoughts?
When our son was going cold turkey, getting off drugs and alcohol, he had many sleepless nights. This is the body getting adjusting to the absence of sleep inducing drugs. It takes a while for the body to get back to normal. With time the body does adjust and normal sleep patterns do reemerge. Just takes time.
I've heard that said too about AA/NA. I'm just glad that the Acan find whetever suits him, whatever best aids his recovery.
When my exA was going through sober stages he would wake up in the night, have raging nightmares and so much more. I found the book 'Getting Them Sober' by Toby Rice Drews helped me a lot to understand. Also just reading the posts here can be very educational. It was important to me learn as much as I could about the disease, in order for me to understand how it affected me.
Hope this helps, keep coming back, Yours in recovery AM
My A has said that too about NA meetings. While he isn't a drug addict per se, he has gone to some meetings with his old roomate from rehab who is. He tells me that the NA meetings can be different from the AA meetings. But the common goal is the same: the desire to stay sober.
As for him waking up at night, I have been told that it is not uncommon for addicts to have sleep disorders. Hubby is up very early in the morning (like 2am) and then he comes back to bed. One of his main reasons he drank was so that he could stop his spinning thoughts and sleep. Now that he is sober he is learning how to cope with all that is going on. He knows how to regulate his meds (and the doctors have taken him off his sleeping medication) and his mental health work has really helped him to cope with all that is going on.
There's so much to learn about addiction. It helped to understand it more when I went to open AA meetings with him. But please in all of this don't forget about your recovery as well.
Love and blessings to you and your family. Here's to your recovery as well as his.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
He is correct: in AA meetings it is traditional that in keeping with the singleness of purpose the discussion is limited to discussion of recovery from alcholism. Yes, it's true that many people may have abused alchol and drugs. No, it does not matter what you did or how long you did it. Yes we do want you there. However, if you are going to obsess about what you did how long you did it and what the consequences were/are, perhaps you may want to seriously consider if you are ready to work on your recovery versus your upcoming relapse. This is probably what your loved one was told: we really don't care about all the stuff you did in your disease; are you ready to recover yet? If he isn't there really isn't anything they can do. Now, having been confronted with the reality that recovery does NOT involve swearing off, making promises, or anything else, your loved one was probably very very frightened. But he also probably didn't ask what recovery WAS about. Otherwise, he would have found out that recovery in AA involves using the 12 steps, the literature, the groups, and the spirituality of the program to cope with everyday life rather than medicating and escaping from it. Challenging oneself to grow with adversity rather than run from it. Big order. Not impossible.
My husband did the same takes awhile for body to adjust to no drugs or alcohol , months actually. It like everything else will pass . Glad he made the effort to find NA , some times an addict in recovery gets lost in AA meetings, old timmers don't like it at all. give him a n extra hug for finding a diff meeting . Louise
I think there are regional differences in meetings and sometimes it differs from meeting to meeting.
I've heard some say I'm <state your name> and Im an alcoholic and an addict. I know some get upset by the mentioning of addict. I know other meetings where they see them as one in the same.
I know where I am, many come to Al-anon because of someone's druge use. Quite frankly there is hardly any Nar-anon around here. They are welcomed. I have heard speaker tapes though where some are upset that it takes away from the singleness of purpose.
In my area, at the closing we close w/ the "Keep coming back it works if your work it so work it your worth it." I've heard old timers, especially on speaker cd's rile that this is not alanon, that it's a 'chant.' That nothing should come after the Lord's Prayer. There is even a contingent in my state the don't push it but will not say it or move their hands and when asked will say this. For me, it's part of being a fellowship and it's an uplifting way to end.
I don't know what is right or wrong. I just know what I've seen and heard. :)
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
Thanks everyone!!! My AH mentioned today that at the meeting last night it makes him feel good. Im glad to hear that. I would hope that would be an incentive to continuously go. His cousin goes to them almost everynight...maybe 5 times/week. :)
If he's worried about his sleep problems, he could bring it up at meetings, somebody there will have something useful to tell him. There is lots of online AA, NA and CA, for people who don't have meetings nearby that they can get to. Both this site, and some others - my husband is very active on an AA site, and it has helped him sometimes more than his f2f.
So, how about you, what did you do while he was at his meeting? Something for yourself, I hope (your own meeting?). I also really hope that you are not his only ride to meetings, that he has some other way of getting there -catch a ride with one of the other guys, walk, whatever. Take responsibility for getting HIMSELF to where he needs to be, anyway. It's not your job to be his recovery monitor - it's not good for either of you.
Oh no...majority of the time his cousin takes him...I think just to meetings that are closer to his cousin's place is when I need to drop him off. His cousin always takes him home. There is a Alanon meeting not too far from me on sunday afternoons. Im thinking of attending one this weekend.
