The material presented
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Daer MIP family! I am new here and I am not native speaker, so I hope you will understand what Iwant to say. I am an adult child of alcoholic. It is a long time since I do not live in my parents house, I have my own family and attend Al-Anon for 3 years. This program is wonderfull but in our country it is working only few years. I feel I need more knowledge and maybe sponsor to take me more deeply throuth the steps.
The questation about my normality is something that frustrates me day by day. I have a big problem with my emotions and sometimes can not control it. One day I am so happy I want to dance and the other I am depressed and sad. In my life / work, church, friens.../ I am surrounded with the people who are loving, patient, seren and I just feel very deferent I sometimes can not stand it. I am thinking about visting psychologist and trying to solve my problems with him. What do you thing about it? Is it something you as ACoA experience? What else could I do?
I am very happy I found you. Thank you for beeing here for me. Eva
eva wrote:hello Eva and welcome , tho I am not the child of an alcoholic I have several great friends who are . Are u normal ?? u betcha Most adult children that I know ,just don't feel they have a right to be happy ,trust me u do Your in the right place we have several adult children who post of this board and who frequent our chat room on a regular basis . u will get a chance to share your innermost thoughts and know that others understand where your at and will share thier own experiences in how they walked thru the past with other Al-Anon members help. Please keep comming and sharring , your worth the effort. Tho I am not an adult child would be happy to share with you anytime or just listen . If you go to Al-Anon web site there is a mention there of * Lone Members Club *, an email will put u in touch with people who write on a reg basis to people like yourself who are new to our program . good luck and keep commin back . Oh and Al-Anon and councelling work great together . Louise Daer MIP family! I am new here and I am not native speaker, so I hope you will understand what Iwant to say. I am an adult child of alcoholic. It is a long time since I do not live in my parents house, I have my own family and attend Al-Anon for 3 years. This program is wonderfull but in our country it is working only few years. I feel I need more knowledge and maybe sponsor to take me more deeply throuth the steps.
The questation about my normality is something that frustrates me day by day. I have a big problem with my emotions and sometimes can not control it. One day I am so happy I want to dance and the other I am depressed and sad. In my life / work, church, friens.../ I am surrounded with the people who are loving, patient, seren and I just feel very deferent I sometimes can not stand it. I am thinking about visting psychologist and trying to solve my problems with him. What do you thing about it? Is it something you as ACoA experience? What else could I do?
I am very happy I found you. Thank you for beeing here for me. Eva
((Eva)) I'm glad you found us. One of the things I've learned about normal is that, at least according to the dictionary, it's culturally defined. I mean, at least in Ohio, in the United States, its not "normal" to run around completely naked and go hunting for food. But in other parts of the world, especially in cultural tribal nations like Brazil, Africa, the Phillipines, it is normal. So, for me, when a professional explained that normal is a VERY VERY VERY subjective term, a HUGE lead weight came off my chest. A drug/alchol councelor also explained normal this way: "Everyone's normal. But then you get to know them and their family." An old al anon saying is "Normal is a setting on the washing machine." Normal is something none of us grew up with, and I think, at least any of the al anons I KNOW, are very eccentric, have many different interests, and do NOT fit the "norm." But, like you said Eva, they're my friends, and they help ME. If you are hoping to get a deeper level of step work, maybe you and your sponsor could work the steps with someone from AA. Or, if you feel comfortable, perhaps use some AA literature as a referance. And remember, Al Anons, or anyone, is ALWAYS welcome at open AA meetings. ((Eva)) I hope you come back.
I am ACOA also. I am also a mother of A. I suffered with many issues from growing up in an A family. I am in therapy now trying to deal with codependant behavior and low self esteem. I think for me, the biggest issue I have had is that I have always felt like I was "less than" everyone else. I also avoid confrontation at any cost. Now , my A son does the same thing. I will go to the earth's end to keep peace within my family. I will not speak up to people when I believe I should. Instead, I stuff down my feelings with food. I am working with a therapist on where these feelings came from when I was younger. Then we do EMDR therapy and try to reprocess that feeling the way it should have been processed when I was younger. It is a long journey but one that I must take if I want to start to be content with the life I have. I wish you alot of peace.
