Wow didn't expect so much response... - Al-Anon Family Group

carolinagirl · ~*Service Worker*~

Wow didn't expect so much response...

Rita G · ~*Service Worker*~

((Carolina))

If you feel this guy is the friend you need for now, that is what is so great about reclaiming your life. You have that choice.

Please always remember - that this friendship may work for you today, but if it doesn't work for you tomorrow, You have the right to say "This friendship isn't working for me anymore". And you can walk away.

Take care of you,

Rita

Lunamoth · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Carolinagirl))))

Any chance you can make it to the Carolina Spring Fling coming up? PM me if you'd like to meet -- it's a wonderful conference.

http://www.carolinasspringfling.com/

Diva · ~*Service Worker*~

Please, dear one, do not allow yourself to become desperate. Desperation is the emotion that makes us make unfortunate choices. Loneliness does the same thing.

Do you have a hobby? Do you have a cause you believe in enough to become involved in it? Can you support a particular political candidate? Can you teach adults or children to read? Can you do a few hours of volunteer work at a hospital? Is there a theatre group you might join? I could go on and on listing ideas that will get you in touch with people; perhaps the "right" kind of people.

No matter what this guy did to earn himself a felony conviction, he is still a convicted felon. Not a good thing. And he's an A. Double shot, if you'll pardon the pun, of not a good thing.

I get annoyed when someone says, "If this feels like a good decision to you, then it is the right one." That's a total cop-out, and pure nonsense.

"Take what you like and leave the rest." Now there's one slogan I can appreciate.

With great oncern and caring,

Diva

Christy · ~*Service Worker*~

I agree with Diva. Put yourself out there. There has to be something you could enjoy. Volunteer somewhere if you can't figure it out. It's impossible that you are the only one in your area that is friendly and/or lonely.
You want changes? Change it.
"Let it begin with me" is a great slogan.
I'm a firm believer in in what you put out is what you get back. It stands to reason if you are going out there with that energy, believing people aren't friendly and go out with that frame of mind that you will not attract friendly people.
Go after what you want by actively seeking it, expecting it, and putting yourself in a position where it can happen.
Most of all, have fun doing it!!

Take care
Christy

Tiger2006 · ~*Service Worker*~

One of the things I've had to confront from living with myself for the past (wow--has it really been that long?!) 2 years is that when I'm looknig for companionship what I'm really looking for is an excuse to not be working on me. The reality is that I didn't realize how "messed up" or "emotional" I was until I had to live by myself, live with myself, take care of myself, on an ongoing day to day basis, and that was really really hard. See, my tendency is to be involved with other people, to fix them. Whatever.
And the reality is, I can't have a fufilling relationship with another until I'm fufillled within myself by my own means.
Maybe the fact that you can't find someone right now is a sign that you need to get okay with you first.

RainyJamie · Senior Member

carolinagirl wrote:

I have been living here for a year and a half and still have NOT ONE SOUL that I could call to go do someething with me EVER!!! I am desperate for companionship, I need need need a friend and at this point yes I'm willing to settle! I just want a person to talk to, to call and go do something besides the usual kid outings, to listen, care, help me move, drive me to the dr. ANYTHING!!! I know this is desperation but people here are NOT friendly and the more I thought about it the more I thought we could at least be friends.

Whne I first moved to this depressed little city, I wanted to cry occaisionally, it seemed like whenever I looked at someone and smiled, they would look away. If I spoke, they would pretend not to hear me. It drove me into a good depression. Eventually I took classes at the community college and socialized a little more. I don't have close freinds, but that takes time. It has been about three years and if I leave I will be missed by few (maybe a little more now that I am working). I guess I m just trying to say that it takes time. I have moved to new places quite a few times and bailed because I felt there was nothing for me. And I know what it's like to just want a relationship with anything for god's sake! Who can blame you for that?
Jamie
PS the people here are still unfreindly, I have begun to laugh about it. I've found it's the resident natives usually. Newbies tend to warm more easily

-- Edited by RainyJamie at 19:47, 2007-03-21

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