The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I need to find a way to kick an alcohol problem that has been a part of my life for over twenty years. The reason I do not fit the stereotype is I am not abusive when I drink, I have had no DUI's, I have not lost a job due to drinking and am in a marraige full of love and respect. The problem is I drink every day after work (I work 3rd shift so off @ 7 am). If it were a beer or two I would not be concerned but it is 6 to 10 a day to help me sleep. I went to counseling for a few sessions and was challenged to quit for a week and sadly could not. I would like to quit but don't think I have the means to go to rehab. I have thought about AA meetings but am not sure how they are or where they are. I have heard about the 12 step program but am not sure how it works. If anyone can fill me in on the program or ways of getting help I would appreciate it
You fit the sterotype more than you think you do. As an Al-anon, I attend more AA meetings than I do Al-anon. It is just what is available to me. Only you can determine is you have a drinking problem. Maybe your drinking isn't a problem to others...but it is to you. No one will shun you in AA. No one will tell you that you have to say you're an alcoholic. What you will hear, if you listen, is a story much like yours...time and time again. AA is just as much a safe place as Al-anon. You would have nothing to lose walking in to one of those meetings with an open mind. My boyfriend's story is, his drinking wasn't a problem for others....but a problem for him. He will be 4 years sober in a couple of months. I hope you make it to where you are going. This is a big step for you. We have as much love for you as AA will have for you if you decide to go. Ziggy
Repeat after me: Yet. You haven't gotten a DUI Yet. As of now, you simply haven't gotten caught. You will. Keep up the behavior and you'll get caught. Maybe you'll plow into some old lady's garden patch. Maybe you'll over correct and narrowly miss a biker on the side walk. Maybe you'll drive the wrong way down a one way. Maybe you'll hit head on a car of teen agers out for the prom. Yet. You're Eligible Too. You're not abusive when you drink Yet. Keep at it. You will be. Maybe someone's gettin in teh way. Maybe that stupid store clerk didn't stock the "right kind" of liquor. Maybe that S.O of yours is askin for sex at JUST THE WRONG TIME, darn it. Maybe that kid of yours is gettin on YOUR LAST NERVE. Or, maybe you just haven't HIT ANYONE. Maybe the garbage comin' outta your moulth doesn't SOUND like abuse to YOU--but that's because YOU'RE the one SAYIN it. You're not the one GETTIN it. YET. You're eligible too. Your married. Today. Not for long though. She'll get sick of it. She'll get tired of this horse and pony show you call a relationship. She'll start in on it. She'll give you ultimatums. She'll tell you not to come home drunk. So you'll stay out ALL NIGHT LONG. She'll tell you that she can't pay the bills, cause you're drinkin up all the money. She'll tell you that she can't keep food in the house 'cause there's no money to BUY IT with. She'll tell you she can't go out cause you're DRUNK ALL THE TIME. She'll tell you she can't trust you with the car because you'll GET IN AN ACCIDENT. She'll tell you she can't bring her friends, her family, anyone around you because she's ASHAMED OF YOU. And she doesn't wanna be around YOUR FRIENDS--they're just SCUM. They do nothing but DRINK, get DRUNK, get MEAN, and USE HER like they OWN HER. And you do NOTHIN. Oh, you're married alright NOW. RIGHT NOW you're married. But you'll be divorced. YET. You're eligible too. Right now you've also got A JOB. You haven't lost that. YET. But you will. Keep going the way you are. You will. The boss'll get sick of how you SMELL. How you LOOK. That garbage moulth of yours and what comes out. And how you CAN'T QUIT DRINKING--you'll start drinkin AT WORK! No employer tolerates that nonsense! He doesn't want some LUSH representin HIS company. He'll FIRE you. You've got a job RIGHT NOW. You haven't lost it YET. You're eligible too.
You wanna quit? You ready to quit lying to yourself? The elevator stops at every floor, and right now you've got a lot that you can still lose if you keep goin how you are. But if you're ready to stop screwin around, AA is in EVERY PHONE BOOK in America. Call them and ask for their help. I'm sure they're ready for you.
Well ,u really said it all in I was challenged to quit for a week but couldn't . Itoo love the word yet ! this is progressive it only gts worse every yr u need more . My husb was and is a proffessional , we lived well money was not an issue but alcohol slowly started to erode our marriage he began to isolate i got angry and sarted to try and figure ur what i could do to stop this. thus i became a little nuts trying to solve a problem that had nothing to do with me . ending up here 20 yrs later. You have not looked hard enough AA is every where call a local treatment centre for meeting infoor check out on line Aa site there are meetings listed there for all states and i would bet there is a toll free number for info in yur area - many people quit with just going to meetings treatment centres ar4e not always the answer. go sit in th back of the room see if u can relate . Listen to the similarities not the differences and remember your own statement . *I couldn't quit * My husband said he couldnt relate to most alcoholics too , he was very successful , we lived well he hadn't lost his family ,*yet* I found Al-Anon a ffew yrs before he quit or that would have happened too. , a few yrs later we were driving in Vancouver and drove past a place called pigeon square our version of skid row. and we stopped he was crying and said there really is no difference between me and them is there ? A degree and a few bucks . don't let this happen to you -- good l uck Louise
Hi, There is no stereo type. many years ago when I was confronted with my husband being an alcoholic, I swore it was not possible. He was young, healthy, attractive and had everything going for him. Now many years later, many surgeries and legal problems and lost jobs and health issues and marital problems, it is much easier to see. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It gets worse over time. If you feel you are ready call AA, or check out the AA board here for some more advice. Alcoholism is an equal opportunity disease and an equal opportunity destroyer. It takes all kinds prisoner. Best wishes. Love Jeannie
The Big Book of AA tells us it is a progressive disease. It also tells us that there is no situation too hopless.
I am glad you are here and reaching out for help at any rate. That is a big steps to make walking through the doors. You will do it when you are ready. There is nothing anyone can say or do to get you there. You will have support though.
Well I don't think you stumbled across this forum by accident.
Without projecting what I think will happen to you if you continue down your path I will say that the doors to AA are wide open when you are ready for them.
I can really relate to you. My AH has dui's, health problems, has been to rehab, drinks 4x what I do. I don't have a problem, he does. Except that I had been drinking almost every night. Except that I was having huge anxiety problems. Except that I was spending an exceptional amount of time "moderating my drinking." Except that I was surviving on 5 hours of sleep per night. Except that I was tempting my AH while he is in early recovery.
You don't have to have a catastrophe to have a problem and you don't have to be a raging alcoholic to find help in AA. I go to 2 meetings per week and have found blessings and serenity. It is not easy to overcome the compulsion, even once you admit you have a problem. I would suggest reading the AA big book, there is a chapter about those of us with "high bottoms," people who would like to stop drinking prior to the excrement hitting the air conditioner. You can get it at the library. Then call the AA number in the phone book or google AA for your state. You will get a list of all the meetings. AA is such a wonderful group of people, you need not have any shame in attending. It is truly a blessing for those who seek it. God Bless and good luck. BBsteps
So when you think of those alcoholics who have lost home, job and family.... who have become angry and abusive... do you think they started out that way?
Many alcoholics are entirely functional. My husband was still able to get up at 5 am everyday and make it to work. He's military and we don't live on the base..... how he ever made it through that gate each day, I will never know, but I do know that 9 out of 10 mornings he was still drunk when he met those gate guards.
If you think you have a problem, drag your ass to a meeting.... maybe your stories will not be as colorful as some of the others, but that in no way makes your problem with alcohol "less."
