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I am new here. Just dropped my alkoholic ex and my fathers son off in rehab few hours ago. Hope he will get better now, months of work ahead of us...both of us. He will be in rehab for at least 2 months. And I am starting my al-anon work.
Btw I am 27 years and have a 5 year old son, and we are from Iceland. I am here cuz there is no internet al anon chat in iceland.
HI, and welcome. You are right, there is much ahead for both of you.
When my husband went into rehab, I thought my prayers were answered. And, in some ways, they were. In others though, the trouble was just starting. The drinking covers up a lot of what is wrong in the relationship - it's so easy to blame everything on the drinking, when in reality both of us had a lot of unhealthy behaviours.
Alanon is for you - to help you get to be the healthy serene person you were meant to be, and the help you cope with the day to day. This site is very helpful - do some reading, both of old posts here and of our literature. Not everything you ead will be of use to you, but some will, I promise.
Yeh I know there is alot of work. And this is not his first time in rehab, allthough we were not together when he went last. And actually we are not together now. But hopefully later in time.
Now it is time for me to do some work for me, should have done that along time ago. And in my case I tend to blame too little on the alcoholism
Hi welcome! Glad you are here. Wow Iceland, I bet you live a lot differently there. I love different cultures.
I am so glad your loved one went in to get some help on his journey to be in recovery. I also hope the plan he comes up with will guide him well.
Yes when we work our own program it sure makes a difference in all our relationships.
Great the rehab there is two months. The longer the better. My A did the ninety meetings in ninety days and got himself on a great plan and was clean for years. Sadly a brain surgery completely ruined his life. But I know recovery can come with work and the desire to stay clean one day at a time.
I saw my husband change so much. He was not angry, he was honest, helped people, was kind, of course we had the normal upheavals, but no drama bs.
If people get clean but have no program, it can be so much worse. they are just walking around trying to fight what they desire every moment instead of working a program that helps them.
Like ok today I choose not to drink. Today I choose to chop wood and go to sleep watching a movie with my wife....(c: Hey I spent MANY eves with my husband asleep beside me in our double recliner loveseat. We held hands and I loved it.
We went to am movie one time, he made a HUGE snore sound... so.... no more going out to movies! lol
Our loved ones are very very sick. They are never cured. So to me, any clean time with recovering is precious. Any time they are not tortured, is a blessing.
I did my best to glean every bit of good time my A had. Now sadly there is none left. I don't know how in the world he stays alive.
He no longer lives here, nor do I even get to talk with him.
You sound like you have a good attitude. That is so important. Keep the positive thoughts going.
Welcome to MIP.... keep posting your thoughts, feelings, anything you need to get out of you, give it to the board. We are here for you and will be a good support in your time of need.
Peace, Twinmom~
__________________
"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
debilyn wrote: Hi welcome! Glad you are here. Wow Iceland, I bet you live a lot differently there. I love different cultures.
I am so glad your loved one went in to get some help on his journey to be in recovery. I also hope the plan he comes up with will guide him well.
Yes when we work our own program it sure makes a difference in all our relationships.
Great the rehab there is two months. The longer the better. My A did the ninety meetings in ninety days and got himself on a great plan and was clean for years. Sadly a brain surgery completely ruined his life. But I know recovery can come with work and the desire to stay clean one day at a time.
I saw my husband change so much. He was not angry, he was honest, helped people, was kind, of course we had the normal upheavals, but no drama bs.
If people get clean but have no program, it can be so much worse. they are just walking around trying to fight what they desire every moment instead of working a program that helps them.
Like ok today I choose not to drink. Today I choose to chop wood and go to sleep watching a movie with my wife....(c: Hey I spent MANY eves with my husband asleep beside me in our double recliner loveseat. We held hands and I loved it.
We went to am movie one time, he made a HUGE snore sound... so.... no more going out to movies! lol
Our loved ones are very very sick. They are never cured. So to me, any clean time with recovering is precious. Any time they are not tortured, is a blessing.
I did my best to glean every bit of good time my A had. Now sadly there is none left. I don't know how in the world he stays alive.
He no longer lives here, nor do I even get to talk with him.
You sound like you have a good attitude. That is so important. Keep the positive thoughts going.
much love to you and yours,debilyn
Thx everyone.
Yeh I am glad to be here, took time to find this place. When I got the time and energy I am sure I will went out big time.
Last night I dreamt about him. That he called me and I was wondering how he could call me from rehab, and realized he was gone from the rehab center. Happy it was just a dream.
I keep thinking about calling him. Because even though we are not together we have always been friends and call each other often just to say hi. But then I realize I cant call him. I miss my friend. patience patience patience...it will all be worth it...I hope
Oh yeh and actually the rehab is not 2 months always. The way it works here is ppl go first to a place to get clean for 10-14 days. Then they go to a rehab center in the countryside. There they stay for 4 - 24 weeks depends on how sick they are and on what they need. And after they get back they can go to AA meetings and classes. And if they go to suregery or something like that like you AH Debilyn they can go to the clean up place right after. They get priority, so no waiting list. Anyways my AH wants to stay in the rahab center for at least 8 weeks, he could stay for longer. It would be good for him, he is exstremelly sick now. Been on 3-4 week binch, I will explain later long story.
To answer u debilyn, yeh it is a bit different but not so. Because Iceland has been so greatly influenced by USA since the 1950 when they came here. Since then there has benn a nato base. And it was stationed next to the town I live in today. My cousin is married to a guy from base and thy just mooved to hawaii. Sadly they army just went away last summer. So no more american guys for us icelandic girls.
should have done that along time ago. And in my case I tend to blame too little on the alcoholism 
I miss my friend. 
patience patience patience...it will all be worth it...I hope