The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ok, what is up. Is there a conspiracy? I am so used to going into the chat room and having several people to talk to. This is the second time in the past couple of days that nobody is in there. I think I am just feeling a bit overwhelmed! Hubby wanted to go fishing, but didn't want to go w/o any $$ in his pocket. So I gave in and gave him a 20,(he hesitated, but took it) He came home and said he didn't spend any. But would like to have a beer. I was like, "whatever". I asked him to get some chicken if he did go out and get himself a beer. Well, he comes home with a beer, but no chicken! AAAAAAAHHHHH....then I mention getting some of the money back to pick up a pair of pants. He didn't much like that idea. THen I just had to ask him, "why is it that you didn't want to take money to go fishing but have NO problem keeping the money and spending it on alcohol knowing that it came from my business!!!" I was SO hurt and upset. I am getting at the end of my rope with being able to handle him "trying" to make money when we have lost our butts on the stocks already. And then he wants to put in more money?! I don't think so. We have lost too much.
Ok, enough about him, I need to take care of me. That is what I am going to do. I know that I need to keep myself in order and on track. I went to a meeting (f2f) and it was so nice to see some of my friends again. I have been hit and missing f2f lately and some are only monthly, so it was good to see some old faces and meet some new ones. I took Bryon up for his appt yesterday w/oncology. They were SO impressed with how he is doing, it really made me feel good. Almost like it gave me that litt'l extra to get my life in some form of normality! I have been keeping busy w/my business, so that has been nice. I even went to church Sunday and read from the bible. Haven't done that in I dont' know how long. Just trying to take care of ME. I even finished crocheting a blanket I'd been working on for years. I was so excited to get it done! Now I already started on another one.
Done rambling. Thanks for listening. (((((((((((roomies)))))))))
(((smpoli)))) How frustrating that is, especially when we "expect" people to be there. I say that because I am having trouble getting over my expectations! You did what I usually do, if I am at my wit's end, is come here, and type out my feelings. It helps. Hang in there. Come into chat today, I have the whole day off work, and will probably be there. Love in Recovery, Becky1
I have a hard time getting into chat. I am going to try back on MIRC. I have to say stuff like that would send me to the ceiling before. I am able to manage my feelings about it now. I am glad that this issue proves to me that my al anon program is working. I would just sit in resentment about that too.
I don't know what the issue is but I do know that running any kind of web site must be a tremendous amount of work. I'm also aware its largely unpaid and has to be scheduled in between other responsibilities. . As someone who's gained a great deal from this group I'm able these days to give it a little space to work out the glitches, I can do that now, I couldn't before al anon and this group.
I have my own glitches of course they are ever present in my life as I live with an active A. . I did not have the internet for a month except at the library or in the cafeteria at work (which meant I did not have it most of the time)as the A didn't pay the bill and I did not step in and take care of it as I normally do. I also didn't tantrum and have a meltdown as I normally do which was pretty new for me. I tried to work through the resentment as best I could and did better than normal. I don't expect everything around me to run smoothly anymore but I do hope in time I'll be able to go to chat as I know the meetings will help me greatly.
I'm so glad to hear that Byron is doing so well.....that is truly an answer to prayers!!! I'm sorry to hear things aren't going so well with your hubby, but I will continue to keep you all in my prayers. Hopefully you got some comfort and encouragement from Church and reading your Bible. Besides Alanon, my faith is what has been my lifeline! Maybe I'll catch up with you one of these days in chat. It's been awhile since I've been in chat, and I miss everyone. A quick update.....My son is doing pretty well. He is struggling with the usual growing up stuff, like managing his money, time etc. But in the big areas, he is making good choices and working hard to make his life better. For that we are so thankful. God is in the business of making miracles. Take care my friend, and hope to catch up with you one of these days soon.
Sorry about things with your husband but is sounds like you are doing what you need to keep the focus on you. You are an inspiration to me. That is great news about Bryon! He continues to be in my prayers... along with you and your family! Keep on making your blankets... its a good creative way to keep busy and make something someone will really aprreciate. I wish I knew how to do more that just a straight line in crochet! Wishing you the best and sending you any strength and program tools I can share!
