The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi, something I read suggested, as a babystep, to find ten things that you like to do that doesn't really involve anybody else (AKA the A in your life). The idea was to eventually move on to more pressing ideas like what you want out of life and stuff like that. I found it felt good to think of them even though it was hard at first because I might have forgotten that I ever liked to do anything. I'm going to list mine and I wouldn't mind seeing what someone else might think of. 1. Dance- I like to dance at places (clubs, parties, whatever) and I like to dance in the kitchen. It can actually be a little distracting. When I met my H I was an amature belly dancer. Sometimes I take classes, but they're getting hard to find anymore 2. Walk- I do it alot, just because. I don't understand why more people don't. 3. Talk to people about thier dogs- I know this sounds silly, but I always find myself talking to little old ladies in the park about thier dogs. I have a Jack Russel Terrier with alot of personality. Ever since I have become dog lover. 4. Listening to music- I am very sensitive to music and have eclectic tase. 5. Watching independant movies.- nobody will do this with me. I like quirky movies, foreign and art films, all kinds of movies and I get irritated by big budget movies alot. 6. Cook exotic food- I like to have fun and experiment. The kids don't do spicy very well, and H only eats milk and cereal 7. learn new things- I like being an adult in college, the younger ones don't really appreciate it, but it feels good to pick things up. I was listening to Japanese language CD's and it was cool, but hard to find people to speak Japnese with. 8. House projects- for some reason I wait for H's permission to do stuff around the house, I guess because I feel like he knows how to do it and I don't. But I like to do these things. I want to take the carpet up in the living room. 9. Hang out with the girls- last summer I took a math class and when it was over I went out with three onther women to celebrate. It was so fun, we laughed and laughed and talked. I haven't gone out with anyone since. I need some girlfreinds. 10. nature stuff- am a little bit of an enthusist, i'd rather go to the beach, lake, mountain, dunes, dessert, woods or river than a movie anytime, unfortunately H is almost anti nature, he just thinks it's boring
well, getting that out of the way I think it's time I worked on doing some of those things. Bye everyone Jamie
-- Edited by RainyJamie at 16:02, 2007-02-06
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I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
I like to talk to people about dogs. In fact I like to talk about my dogs full stop. I talk to them a lot too. My animals are a source of great great joy to me.
I find enormous solace in them. I also spend a lot of time caring for them. The A I live with is always minimizing that, always criticizing it and always upset that I put a lot of effort into that. He always has something negative to say about it. I let that slide off me now rather than over react to it.
I do lots of stuff to self soothe being on the internet is one of them.
1. Read inspirational books 2. Enjoying a cup of coffee early in the morning when it is quiet while looking at the sky and thinking about the path I am walking along in life. 3. Getting together with friends and sharing laughter. 4. Receiving a hug from my children. 5. Taking a bubble bath with candles lit and soothing music. 6. Giving someone a hug who is having a difficult day. 7. Sliding into bed with new sheets on the bed. 8. Watching movies. 9. Taking dance classes. 10. Interior decorating. 11. Had to add 1 more....Coming to this message board.
1. Taking indoor cycling/spinning classes (I teach them at my local gym)
2. I just started Scrapbooking....UH OH it is addictive, be careful with this one, but I love it!!!
3. Dancing
4. Enjoying nature, walks, exploring, looking for seashells, ect...
5. Fashion illustrating, haven't doned it much in the last 6 months, but I love it!!
6. Going on date night with my husband, it's so nice to just spend time with him, without the kids.
7. Decorating!!!
8. Playing with my kids, as a stay-at-home mom I have to admit sometimes it feels like a chore, but once we get started, it's fun! (I really love reading to them)
10. counting down top 10s backwards 9. enjoying a program conversation 8. board games (unlike with the Awife... bored games) 7. reading kids adventure books (jkrowlings, piers anthony, etc) 6. seeing smiling faces (genuine... not car salesmen) 5. massages (giving or receiving) 4. wordgames 3. playing my pian'er 2. singing 1. singing duet (and i might add - the most intimate experiences of my life)
song of the day: Por ti Volare (Andre Bocelli/Sarah Brightman)
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
What a wonderful post!!! I love it! I love your answers, too, you and I are very similar in more than one of them!! I have a new "granddog" that my daughter has aquired that we think is a Jack Russell/Chihuaha mix! He is VERY spunky and hilarious, but I can tell he will be a handful so I am taking him for training. I also like nature and cooking. Here are some I can think of, now the key is to begin to do them for ourselves!!!
1. Meditating in the morning, just sitting in the quiet; 2. Driving alone in the mountains or country; travelling in general 3. Hugging loved ones; 4. Being in the "now"; grateful to be alive (I sometimes cry about this one when it hits me); 5. Reading, absolutely love it!! Never sit down to do it though! 6. Cleaning house, rearranging it to look different, throwing out old stuff that has been lingering; 7. Watching movies (drama, spiritual, anything except really violent stuff or stupid comedies) 8. Snuggling with my kitties (and now spastic Louie puppy!) 9. Making the yard look nice in summer (weeding, planting) 10. Volunteering (talking to elderly or something like that) - one of my goals this year!
What a great post. This is actually something that has been on my mind lately, too. I have put so much of myself aside for his problem. Now its time to take some of me back.
reading- starting to do more of this for fun as well as studying my program
vegetable gardening- haven’t done a very good job of this the last few years. I’m going to make an effort to do it right this year.
raising livestock- I love the feeling of being able to raise my own meat, milk, and eggs, but I am learning to enjoy working with my animals the way I used to enjoy it when I was younger.
riding & driving horses- they are not for yard ornaments, and I want my kids to have an equine relationship like I had.
crocheting- I haven’t picked up a hook in I don’t know how long.
spinning- I am just learning to make my own yarns with wool from my own sheep. I am finding it a challenge to learn how to manage a flock for wool, not meat.
walking and hiking- I want to do a lot more of this this year now that the baby is bigger.
homeschooling my son- this I can not compromise on. It has been a source of strength for me to focus on something besides the A, that is infinitely more important.
photography- this one I don’t mind sharing. my son is showing an interest and even my A is, now that he is a part of the family again. I might even get to be in some of the pics now.
camping and fishing- our family did a lot more of this last year and hope to this year, too.
Thanks for bringing this up. Its been really nice to read everybody's favorites.
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
