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Oh my goodness! You poor thing! I cannot believe someone would say that to you. I do not know the story behind the death of your son but I do NOT BELIEVE that God (or any other HP) would take a child away simply b/c the parents are bad parents. When a child leaves this world, I believe it is b/c our HP has a better purpose for that child. Perhaps as a Guardian Angel. But I do not believe it is an act to punish the parents.
I am so sorry that someone made you believe that so long ago. You should try to reach deep within yourself to find what you truly believe and not what some other person (good intended or not) said to you in your time of sorrow.
You should get yourself re-aquainted w/your HP in your own way and at your own pace and trust in your own beliefs. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Unfortunately, comments like the one you got are from "religious" people who are trying to play God themselves. The sad truth is that comments, and people, like the one you have described, have turned many people away from the Church. That person & comment is not only non-Christian, it is pretty much inhuman.
Sorry for your loss, and let's all pray for your grandchild.
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I have also lost a child, a daughter. I don't even pretend to know why these things happen. If it was for us to know, we would. Maybe there is no reason at all. Accidents happen. I am not one that believes "everything happens for a reason". It has been 18 yrs and I still don't know the reason, nor will I ever while I walk this earth. Life is hard enough w/o trying to figure out reasons for everything that happens in the world. The HP I know doesn't want me to be tortured by guessing games my whole life, never knowing if I got the reason right or not. HP is a loving spirit that does not take one life to punish another. Each life is a precious creation. I'm sorry if you spent even one minute believing that sentence.
Christy.
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Oh my dear one, I am so sorry that you are haunted by these words. Of course they aren't true, but someone who has no compassion, no love, and no sense tried to play God, and made a huge negative impact on you that has lasted far too long. Please try to let this go. Don't torture yourself.
Your didn't deserve to hear such harmful, hateful words when you were at your lowest point, and shame on whomever said them to you. My heart is with you, and my thoughts and positive energy go out to you.
With deep caring, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Oh, I am so sorry! I, too was told years ago, something similar. I was married, but had talked to my old boyfriend on the phone. My husband (my now ex) knew about but it made him mad, so he called the pastor of the church we attended. The pastor came over, and told me that God might kill or harm my daughter, for my wrong-doing (in his eyes). I had done nothing wrong! It was a phone call! I was horrified. The God that I knew from my childhood was not that kind of God. I often wondered what God was going to do to a pastor who lied to his congregation like that. (Just kidding).
Even if I had done something horrible, the God of my understanding does not kill innocent children for their parents faults. If that were true, the world would be an empty place for sure!
May you find peace in your heart. I am keeping you in my prayers. And your daughter and grandbaby, too.
I am sorry but I disagree, why he took your child I can not answer...however, it had not a thing to do with the kind of person you are....we are not perfect...not one of us....I can not imagine the pain of a mother loosing a son....my heart aches for you......
However, darling lady give youself a break....the person who said these words, well...hey I feel sorry for them...to have such hate in your heart...wow....please ignore those awful words....but them to rest and think about the wonderful lady you are.....
i think that comment needs to be placed in the proper file... the one with the little handle on the top of the water tank. please, ask yourself, what authority on human life did that person have? we, in program, learn to not take inventory of someone else. i love us alanonics. i love you, too my prayers cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
i went for my walk. then i shoveled doggie doos out of the back yard in three feet of mushy snow [the most snow we have had in albertra for a very long time]. worked up sweat and came in tired. then i went to a lecture . boring. nothing like a boring lecture to take your mind off your pain. home now. time for tea. a bath and bed. [his birthday is in two weeks. maybe that is why it hit me so hard today.]
Yesterday I was talking with a beautiful person who questioned what God is and why He does what He does. I shared with her my belief in God. In this world people are who "do" things to us that hurt/scar us - not God, illness is a part of this world as well as death, I have no understanding as to why some heal and continue on their journey in this life and others do not. What I have come to believe is that God gives me what I need to keep going on, to continue on. To me God works thru people, just like you and all of those here on this board. I am provided with the strength to keep going, to see that even in the pain there is a hand that is reaching out to me and someone who will walk with me.
It has taken me many years -- and I still don't have it down pat, that God's not going to zap me. He created me, He knows that I am not perfect, I won't have the perfect prayer or ever meet the expectations I put myself under to be what it is I think He wants me to be. Here is where I just pray that He'll guide me. I get so much wrong -- I am human.
Remember that what was said to you was said to you by someone who did not know what they were talking about. If you would like scripture then PM. If they feel that they are quoting from the Bible, that the "sins of the parent" caused this, please please please, PM me.
Once when I was desperate for help I hooked up with a religious group that said my issues were "karma". Somehow my being abused as a child was a result of my having been abusive in a past life. I can shrug that off now. But then I was so desperate and so confused. I felt branded and labelled and misunderstood. Maybe for me that time was the beginning of boundaries. These days I am aware when I am feeling particularly vulnerable and I protect myself. I did not learn self protection from my family of origin it had to come as an . I am so glad for you that you have this group to come to. I need this place like oxygen.
When my daughter was in a car accident in which she and my son's gf were critically injured and my daughters best friend was killed, this same thing happened to me. A neighbor came by and brought some kind of card for her and said that accident was because of the girls sin...I was so shocked I thought I had heard her wrong. Then when I could catch my breath, I told her there was no way it was from sin. Those innocent girls were going swimming and a young man crossed the center line. He hit them head on, for his misjudgement he lost his life...It was an accident. Accident's happen...I was so fired up that I threw her off my property. I have not seen her since. I am sorry you went threw this Jewely. It still surprises me to hear, how some ppl believe that they can tell what god's intentions are since they attend church. How I pray for them. They are so busy predicting others sins and how god casts these sins, they miss hp's blessings. I will say an extra prayer for you tonight, that you can let go of these people's judgements. I am sorry for your pain. Carol
i just got home from a face to face meeting. i almost didn't go. it is funny maresie, because i stopped for tea and the topic of discussion was about karma and past lives. after staying to long at the tea house, i almost didn't make the drive to my meeting. i got there and on time and i am so glad!!! there is no place like an alanon meeting for people who suffer the effects of alcohol on their lives. something not good happened today with regards to baby grandaughter. i am to the place where i can finally say.................. LET GO AND LET GOD. the pain that was caused to me years ago by a group of religious zealots seems less today. i think it is because of all of you. at the time of this child's death i was steeped in religion. it was all i knew. the religion of my youth and all my adult life. i was born into it. until the death of this little boy, i really never question the authority of the god of my church. i really did except his death, i got through the funeral, did what had to be done. and, then the councelling came. that was the beginning of the end for me. this great god was no longer the god i trusted. he killed a child because that's what not perfect parents deserve. before the councelling i never really questioned why he died. there was no reason. when i was told god did it because my husband was not a spirit filled person then i had a reason for why our child died. once there was a reason for the accident, then i could fix it. god killed children who had unholy parents. i could fix that by being good for both of us. didn't work. so, i am now in the process of formulating my own god. and, just for today i call that god.........., ''a power greater than myself [greater than alcoholism, greater than religion, greater than , greater than, greater than] that could restore me to sanity. for the first time since this horrible event happened so long ago i feel real healing. i want to let our baby grandaughter go and let God. [D_ MN!!! even as i type these words my stomach clutches and tears come to my eyes,but i am determined, i will repalce the old god of fear with a loving god of gentle kindness] thank you for letting me talk this out. blessings, jewely
luna moth, it has been an emotional evening. i wil contact you tomorrow
((((((((((((((((((jewel)))))))))))))))))))))) I just wanted to tell you I love you and I know what you are going through... I too 15 years ago I lost my first born son at birth..... A horrible time for me I was told all kinds of things "by religous People" I too was angry at God for what happened...... But as time went on I begin to see blessings that came out of the death of my Son....
When I had both my other kids God made sure that when they both came there would be NO PROBLEM!!!!! It was Awesome experince for me...... I was able to see Gods hands in both my childrens birth.... it was awesome but I too was also dealing with Alcoholic family and there issue....... But at the time I had no idea I was dealing with Alcoholic Family I just thought my family was normal LOL...... Didn't find Al-Anon till 3 yrs ago!!!!
(((((Jewel )))))))) grieving comes in stages!!! And what you are feeling is natural..... I miss my son and wished he was here with me but I know God had nothing to do with why he died and I know that what i did or hubby did had NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS DEATH!!!!! THAT PERSON was FULL OF Crap!!!!!!!!!!!!! God was not punishing ME With my lost!!!!! AND GOD IS NOT PUNISHING YOU SWEET HEART God Loves you more then you know!!!!!
