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Oh who would of ever thought I would be in this position. Just trying to sit here and figure it all out. But as we all know in life with a A, or in my case (and a lot of yours) a whole family of A's, life don't make sense. We just have to hang out and do what is right for us living amidst it.
Recently my AH's mother, who is an A also, has been very sick. Well now they think she has cancer. She calls her son my AH and his brother and sister just to have their usual dysfunctional conversations, this one happened to be about her being sick. This woman has been the bane of my exsistance since the day I married her son.
Well fast forward to now, who does she call when she is scared, who does she call when she needs a ride to the dr's or the hospital. You got it, she calls me.
My AH's answer to the whole thing......we live 3 hours from her......and she needed a ride to the cancer clinic, was, oh don't worry about it, she will figure it out. I must of looked so stupid standing there with my mouth hitting the floor. I said, not in my family she won't. No one, and I repeat no one deserves to go through cancer treatment alone.
So I am going to travel the 3 hours for her, take her to her treatment and then take her back home. Don't get me wrong, I am NOT a saint. I struggled with this.......I didn't wanna do it, but decided that for me, I had to.
I am wondering if my AH is gonna treat me the same way if I get sick? Wow, this amazed me. All three of her kids were worried about who got what when she died, not the fact that she is sick and scared.
Saint Doxie I am not, but I sure as heck am gonna put an end to this horrendous behavior that seems to be the norm in that family. Well, probably not put an end to it, but at least make it so I don't feel like I caused any more harm in a family that is sadly clear full of more disease than cancer.
Ok, feel better now.
I know for me this is the right decision. I also know that it might not be for everyone.
There's probably some enabling in there somewhere - you doing for her what her own children should be, but who cares? You need to be able to live with yourself, and I think you're doing the right thing. Just don't expect anybody to thank you, because I bet they won't.
I completely understand. What you are exhibiting (even if it's for you) is plain old human kindness. When I worked in a nursing home there was this guy I took care of. Oh God I hated when I was assigned his room. He was paralyzed from the waist down and so, so bitter. He demanded that everything be just so, down to how his socks were put on (on feet he couldn't feel). If it wasn't done how he wanted he would unleash a barrage of hateful words. I was always in there twice as long as I was supposed to be, getting things done HIS way. He had a daughter but she never visitied in the years that I worked there. He had no friends, especially in the nursing home because he was just so hateful. He became very ill and and steadily went down hill. Of course it was not only my fault but the Nursing Home's fault according to him. Slowly he came to a point where it was obvious he was dying. The Director called his daughter but she didn't come. As much as I despised him, I couldn't let him die alone. I stayed with him after my shift was over until he passed. There would be no way I could live with myself if I let another human being die alone when they didn't have to. No one, no matter how awful deserves that. I don't feel you are enabling anyone. It is just an act of kindness. period.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
you sweet sweet heart... HP/ God Love You. the thought that a lonely lady (no matter she may be a mean lil ol'lady...lol) she is a person, a human being, that is scared and sick needs someone to show they care. know that your truly that "blessing" to/for her prayers. (((BIGHUG))))) for Your Love and Kindness.
That is great doxie! As far as if this is enabling.......I don't think so, I mean if they aren't gonna take her, they aren't going to and what is she supposed to do? Sit there and wait for them? lol We all know how long she would be sitting there waiting.
Again doxie, I think it's great that you stepped up.
Hello doxie, When I do for others like that, I just feel that sometime I will be blessed for it, even if that doesn't happen until I am in heaven. I also wonder if my kids will do for me what I am doing for my parents. Then I think again that my deeds are what matter in my lifetime and I do them out of love and not for things in return. Just be true to yourself and don't expect anything in return. God Bless You! I think you are a great person! fluffy :)
God Love You. the thought that a lonely lady (no matter she may be a mean lil ol'lady...lol) she is a person, a human being, that is scared and sick needs someone to show they care. know that your truly that "blessing" to/for her prayers. (((BIG
HUG))))) for Your Love and Kindness.