Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Phil · Phil

One of the most frustrating stages of acceptance is the bargaining stage. In denial, there is bliss. In anger, there is some sense of power. In barraging, we vacillate between believing there is something we can do to change things and realizing there isn't. We may get our hopes up again and again, o...

marmare · marmare

Okay so I got a letter from the Candy Company, I didn't get the job. I started thinking about this last week and decided that Alanon helps in more than just dealing with my A. I thought about "what if I don't get this job?" "I really want this job" "I should have this job" then I realized what...

nmike · nmike

Hi friends, My son, the soldier, is home from a year overseas. I am so happy and relieved. This was his third time in combat. He asked that we not travel to his homecoming. As difficult as that was we honored his request. He called last night. Let's say he didn't call from a "church". He sounded so happy a...

jaja · jaja

........... Is it better to make amends verbally? I can list the people I feel I need to make amends to but am leery about saying anything to them especially because I am good at not saying what I mean the right way. So far, I feel better just being a better person, being kinder to these...

Newme · Newme

Hello...I had one the worst nights of my life last night...I was cleaning and cooking...I really love cooking and enjoy it so much..I was doing fine on my own...suddenly my A husband showed up with so much love and passion and was insisting to take me out (of course he had drinks bef...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, I spoke with hubby on Monday and he asked me to find him a flight home because he was breaking contract and wanted to come home. At the time he told me that it was becasue the company lied to him about the ammount of income he was bringing in. I couldn't find him a flight home, all the flights leavi...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I have been drafted into doing a workshop on the God Box this next year. I have never been to a workshop on this so I can use all the input I can get. Do you have one? How did you make it? Have you ever attended a workshop on this and if so please share with me how it was done. I appreciate...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am sick to my stomach the A is missing. He took off with the truck. No one has seen him or so they say. He is upset over numerous issues. So am I. In some ways I hate to say this I feel like he is dead already. He doesn't care about anything or anyone or his actions. He may ha...

nycbt · nycbt

My husband has found out that he has Hepatitis C, and yesterday I had to get tested. Can some of the people out here if u have experience what this is like can u pls give me some information. At this time I am very nervous about what the test are going to say. I doubt i have it is a slim chance however i am still...

twinkie · twinkie

The attorney investigating my As child custody case just left... I answered his questions honestly and from the heart but so wanted to share more and kept my mouth shut when he said the A hasn't drank in 3 years besides the relapse in August (when I knew he had been drinking a weekend in April as well.&nbs...

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

In my 9th step, I learned how to apologize. I learned how to voice exactly what it was I was apologizing for. I was dishonest with you in the fact that I told you this……but, yet did this instead. I was inconsiderate of your feelings in order to gain……for myself. &nb...

John · John

"Not every decision is a good one, just because I made it" "What is most important, the intentions someone has or the results that materialize?" These are quotes from my sponsor who I spoke with at length today. I remember the first time I sat in front of what was then called a Computer. It w...

hersh · hersh

(((Happy Friday Everyone)))) I have been kind of in a calm place lately after a chaotic weekend, and thinking about what makes me happy and calm. I would love to see all of your joys, whether they be memories or something in the present. Here are a few of mine (I guess they ended up being mo...

athena12 · athena12

Dear MIP friends, John's post down below reminded me of this quote. " Why is it that the takers of this world always seem to find the givers?" These wise words were said by a dear friend of mine many years ago when we both worked together at a center for survivors of domestic violenc...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Want an example of a strange 24 hours. Starting at 5:30pm yesterday I had a conversation with my AW. We are seperated for 2 weeks now and she is getting a little beligerant about how it is not right that we are apart. That I am doing this to her and she is pissed that...

Barbara · Barbara

I hate them! I get like this every year and I hate them!

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Another weekend dawns, and I found myself singing (badly) my song for the weekend. 70 MPH on the freeway on the way to work... windows down, drowning out the sound of the other cars and trucks.... Thought you might want to sing along .... Take care of you! "It's My Life...

Christy · Christy

lilms!!!!!! Happy 6 mo. birthday to you...Happy 6 mo. birthday to youuuuu.. Hope you have a wonderful day!! Christy -- Edited by Christy at 18:20, 2006-11-03

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

A Promise I would do anything to prove my love to you I would climb a mountain or even change my name if it would just take away your pain I love you mom with all of my heart I just cannot understand why you would intentionally tear us apart I only wanted a mom Someone to tell me everythi...

Noni · Noni

Even though I have distanced myself from the active As in my life...I realized that all my life I have been not really living. I've been watching the world go by, because I have always put my life on hold because I didn't know what the members of my sick family were going to do. I find that I'm always waiti...

DoN4me · DoN4me

I have had a few bumps in my road this week. So I put them on paper, was going to keep it for me but felt the need to share it: My recovery by DO When I entered this program I felt alone, lost and afraid. I knew something inside me had finally frayed. I felt the world around me become d...

Phil · Phil

You seek comfort by hiding away, but all you get is loneliness. You seek comfort by judging and criticizing others, but all you get is resentment. You seek comfort by striving and acquiring, but all you get is the insecurity of knowing that those things you have will not last. You seek comfort...

twinkie · twinkie

So yesterday I post how I did the right thing and then.....my emotions are all over the place last night. I spoke to the A and was telling him about it and then I went off on an uncontrollable tyriad of how serious this is and he needs to get to AA and I know he's not going like he should and on and on I went naggin...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Every few days, I talk with my 11 year old Son about what is going on with my seperation from his mom. Of course the topic last night was patience. Patience, since Mom is not really doing anything towards her sobriety, but that doesn't mean she won't. Patienc...

lilms · lilms

Good afternoon alanon family, I just wanted to post a note thanking you all for being a part of my "Miracle In progress". Tomorrow is my six month anniversary in alanon, started right here on this page. How cool is that

I have learned much in six months but not nearly enough.&nbs...

kabbie · kabbie

I am sometimes sad and ashamed. I am sometimes afraid or glad. But I am not angry. I am not angry at my A for all the pain she causes, or at myself for how I react. She has a disease. She is doing what she can today to recover from that disease. I am doing what I can today to support her...

Rita G · Rita G

Al-Anon's Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions pg. 15. "Accepting disappointments, often unrelated to alcoholism, with calm poise, saved wear and tear on the nerves, as well as demonstrating our confidence that things ultimately worked out as they were meant to. This was by no means wea...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family))))), Last year John came up with the wonderful idea of sending Holiday Cards to our MIP family members in the recovery house. It was an incredibly wonderful, magical and loving thing to do for them. I for one felt so good about sending a bit of cheer to some total strang...

serendipity · serendipity

i am not sure what has been going on here while i was on vacation. i knew it....i turn my head for one week and everything gets crazy!!! lol it is so difficult being responsible for the whole world!!! but honestly, this site has been a god send. there have been so many nights when i was so lonely and sad and i c...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Today is my Al-Anon Birthday...i'm graduating from the Terrible Two's into the Tyrannical Three's (teehee). Sooooo.... I wanted to post and pass out some "gifts"... mainly thank you's. Firstly, a big thank you to John for having created this site. 3 years ago when I began my search I needed to ta...

Phil · Phil

Rage is an advanced form of anger, just as panic is to fear, a state in which we are even less in control of our words and behavior. Hate is a condition in which we think very badly of someone, avoid contact with him, and probably wish the worst for him, perhaps even hoping that he might experience a tragedy...

hersh · hersh

(((Hi all))) Tonite AH may or may not go to his 2nd AA meeting - I am going to divert my worrying and my thinking and obsessing about if he is or is not going, what he got out of it, etc. to the following: I am free to do whatever I want tonite I may just go home and watch a movie; I may buy myself some dinne...

Orchid Lady · Orchid Lady

I got really sick 4 months ago - my spirit and mind ganged up on my body and forced me to confront the problems with my marriage. I was swimming in the denial river for quite awhile. H is in midlife crisis and deals with his problems by drinking, staying out to all hours, coming home smelling o...

Gailey · Gailey

think back to last week, last month, last year at what you were doing. ....Last year...Oh my!!! ...I was riding past bars where I thought my A son hung out to see if his car was parked anywhere around them on my way to work in the morning. I would also do that after work. ....

Noni · Noni

I read somewhere - don't remember where - that guilt is a type of fear: of being afraid of living up to someone else's expectations. With that said - I feel guilty that I have no desire to be in touch with my immediate family members anymore (my mother, brother & sister). The guilt came on whe...

Christy · Christy

I recently purchased a video called "The Secret". Right now it can only be purchased on the net. This video is very powerful and is sweeping the internet along with a forum of the same name. This is directly from the CNN Larry King website Thursday's show Change your mind to change your...

Diva · Diva

that sobriety is never forever. This lifelong addiction can be kept at bay for years and years; my own A was sober for 25 years. Sooner or later it will reappear to the devastation of all concerned with the A. My partner is sober today, but he has had several relapses in the past four years. AFTER 25 YEARS S...

butterfly6 · butterfly6

I have been attending meetings sporadically for a little while. The first meetings I think I was drug, kicking and screaming to. Not literally, but I really didn't think I needed it, nor did I have time for it. So, I've been to a few meetings now and am beginning to let g...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

My local newspaper has an article in it's LIFE section about codependency, along with a checklist and some recommended authors and books. I don't know if they'll ask for email and such like that--if so, you may just get to know what's going on in Dayton, OH!

www.daytondailynews.c...

Gailey · Gailey

Loving someone with this illness is the worst thing I have ever gone through I so agree and knowing I am not alone in feeling this way is what is keeping me sane today. (((Heidi)))..thank you! Love.....Gail p.s. There's a special place in heaven fo...

lilms · lilms

Good afternoon my friends, Just a reminder that we are all human first. Disagreements arise, misunderstandings happen yet we all belong to the same family. On that note, I celebrate you all, a part of my family. lilms

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

So my AH came home last night after a week of golf with his buddies. The night before he left for his vacation he came in at 4 AM. Not much of a goodbye for me or our daughter. Well he arrived home on time but not a word about how hurtful his actions were before he left. I was polite an...

allnamesrtaken · allnamesrtaken

How's that for a subject title? I do not know who I am more ticked at right now... myself... or the alcoholic in my life. some history......... My A has been on and off the wagon so much I swear the axles are going to break. He's 36 yrs old... and me being the one who picks up everyones peices and puts them...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi Everyone, Today I am so sad and just need to talk it out really. Last weekend my Abf went on another crazy binge. I was so worried. I tried not to be, but I knew he could end up in real trouble. I worried and I missed him so much. Eventually, he came back full of remorse. I told him I could not live this way any m...

ally · ally

Good Morning People Just a quick reminder of why people come into this chat room. We are all at different stages in our Recovery, No-one is any different in here. Some people can gather the strength quicker than others. But We must ALWAYS remember that this disease causes great pain to everyone...

kabbie · kabbie

We were almost "snowed" by A daughter in rehab. She has been negotiating for a weekend pass, which was granted for upcoming wkend. Started bullying me for rides to and from, money for train, etc. I put my foot down - no train money, and I wasn't ready for her to come home. Meanwhile, she recieved some mone...

barisax · barisax

I mentioned taking an art class when I was going through my divorce... something to throw myself into, new, stimulating. I thought I'd share this funny little story of my first feeling of independence. I pulled up in the parking lot the evening of my class, and called home to check my voice mail. Th...

Phil · Phil

Before I have any type, of a healthy relationship with anyone else.. I have to form a healthy relationship with myself... And in return, I will attract other healthy relationships...

Phil · Phil

God Grant me the serenity, to accept the things, I cannot change The courage to change things I can And the wisdom to know the difference.

twinkie · twinkie

I keep praying for some guidance on this one. When my A relapsed last August it prompted his ex to file for a change in custody as my A has custody of their 9 year old son. My A has been embroiled in court hearings and a guardian ad litem was appointed to repre...

hersh · hersh

(((Everyone))) Part of this program is recognizing emotions and it is so up and down, a lot of the time. Lastnight, after dropping off AH at his first AA meeting, I was panicked all of a sudden. I just prayed to God that something would sink in to him, but I was so physically affected, even...

nmike · nmike

Well Alanon Friends, My 777 posts show alot of pain but also alot of growth. Thanks for your support. I had a great weekend and a great birthday. I love the fall and Halloween. I am learning so much each and every day. It is stressful this fall. Since my AHsober moved out, I have alot of chores to do by my...

barisax · barisax

I notice that next to each member's post there is a description, "Newbie", "Member", "Veteran Member", "Senior Member", and "Service Worker" are the ones I've seen. While they are more or less self explanatory, I don't know what determines the setting. I have changed from newbie to member to vetera...

Feather · Feather

Hi! I haven't posted in a long while but my life has been the usual - working my program, looking after my three children, home and working. I have had good days and bad days, more good than bad though! Just in case you don't remember my situation about 4 years ago my AH and I separated. He has his...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Hardest part is the realization that your life is all about what someone else is doing and trying to find ways to fill the holes left when you stop the obsession. I have been studying math of all things with an alanon tutor!(scary) I look forward to it (even scarier). I go to meetings...

sandie123 · sandie123

I'm not sure what is going on with me right now. Last night while I was journaling a quote came to me that one of my students use, "I don't know why I am doing this to my self!" This quote hit me hard. One of my students, an obsessed & compulsive eater, uses it everytime he gets caugth stealing foo...

Violeta · Violeta

Hi! I'm new to this forum, but not to Al-Anon. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. He's an addict since 12. He's 29 now. He's been in rehab twice, but relapsed and never went back. His main problem is alcohol, but when he gets drunk, he gets high. Lately he has been trying to stop drinking and I think...

sensitive1 · sensitive1

I have not heard from my A mother who estranged me back in April AGAIN!.... WEll today after a "gloomy" day I got a card in the mail from my mother. She seemed okay in the card...she said with love in it. BUT NOTHING bout me coming over for the upcoming holiday (Thanksgiving). BUT maybe that i...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Family))))) I hope everyone is well today! I recieved this quote from our CEO. I thought it particularly timely with all that is going on around me and thought I would share it with you. Take care of you! "Change has considerable psychological impact on the human mind. ...

kicky · kicky

It's been 2 weeks since I separated from my A after 7years. He is living with a friend. He calls me and leaves nice messages in the mornings (sober) and at night he calls irrate. I have kept my boundaries. I haven't seen him. When he is nice and saying how much he misses me, I just say, "I'm sorry, but you ne...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Sharing part of an article on Acceptance (Preview) One of the most frustrating stages of acceptance is the bargaining stage. In denial, there is bliss. In anger, there is some sense of power. In barraging, we vacillate between believing there is something we can do to change things and realizing there isn't. We may get our hopes up again and again, o...	Phil	5	425	Nov 5, 2006 by Karilynn
	Didn't get the job (Preview) Okay so I got a letter from the Candy Company, I didn't get the job. I started thinking about this last week and decided that Alanon helps in more than just dealing with my A. I thought about "what if I don't get this job?" "I really want this job" "I should have this job" then I realized what...	marmare	8	592	Nov 5, 2006 by tiredtonite
	My son is home! (Preview) Hi friends, My son, the soldier, is home from a year overseas. I am so happy and relieved. This was his third time in combat. He asked that we not travel to his homecoming. As difficult as that was we honored his request. He called last night. Let's say he didn't call from a "church". He sounded so happy a...	nmike	8	412	Nov 5, 2006 by Mobirdie
	question about amends (Preview) ........... Is it better to make amends verbally? I can list the people I feel I need to make amends to but am leery about saying anything to them especially because I am good at not saying what I mean the right way. So far, I feel better just being a better person, being kinder to these...	jaja	5	627	Nov 5, 2006 by Karilynn
	My Sad weekend (Preview) Hello...I had one the worst nights of my life last night...I was cleaning and cooking...I really love cooking and enjoy it so much..I was doing fine on my own...suddenly my A husband showed up with so much love and passion and was insisting to take me out (of course he had drinks bef...	Newme	9	523	Nov 5, 2006 by twinkie
	Hubby Coming home, he could have lost his life (Preview) Hi all, I spoke with hubby on Monday and he asked me to find him a flight home because he was breaking contract and wanted to come home. At the time he told me that it was becasue the company lied to him about the ammount of income he was bringing in. I couldn't find him a flight home, all the flights leavi...	Dolphin123	7	522	Nov 5, 2006 by ET
	God Box (Preview) I have been drafted into doing a workshop on the God Box this next year. I have never been to a workshop on this so I can use all the input I can get. Do you have one? How did you make it? Have you ever attended a workshop on this and if so please share with me how it was done. I appreciate...	Mobirdie	4	1285	Nov 5, 2006 by Karilynn
	sick to my stomach (Preview) I am sick to my stomach the A is missing. He took off with the truck. No one has seen him or so they say. He is upset over numerous issues. So am I. In some ways I hate to say this I feel like he is dead already. He doesn't care about anything or anyone or his actions. He may ha...	maresie2	10	647	Nov 5, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	about me (Preview) My husband has found out that he has Hepatitis C, and yesterday I had to get tested. Can some of the people out here if u have experience what this is like can u pls give me some information. At this time I am very nervous about what the test are going to say. I doubt i have it is a slim chance however i am still...	nycbt	10	408	Nov 5, 2006 by ally
	I did the right thing.. (Preview) The attorney investigating my As child custody case just left... I answered his questions honestly and from the heart but so wanted to share more and kept my mouth shut when he said the A hasn't drank in 3 years besides the relapse in August (when I knew he had been drinking a weekend in April as well.&nbs...	twinkie	4	463	Nov 4, 2006 by Jerry F
	What my 9&10 step taught me about amends. (Preview) In my 9th step, I learned how to apologize. I learned how to voice exactly what it was I was apologizing for. I was dishonest with you in the fact that I told you this……but, yet did this instead. I was inconsiderate of your feelings in order to gain……for myself. &nb...	ZiggyDoodles	3	674	Nov 4, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Thoughts and Feelings (Preview) "Not every decision is a good one, just because I made it" "What is most important, the intentions someone has or the results that materialize?" These are quotes from my sponsor who I spoke with at length today. I remember the first time I sat in front of what was then called a Computer. It w...	John	24	1367	Nov 4, 2006 by Becky1
	Things that make you happy.... (Preview) (((Happy Friday Everyone)))) I have been kind of in a calm place lately after a chaotic weekend, and thinking about what makes me happy and calm. I would love to see all of your joys, whether they be memories or something in the present. Here are a few of mine (I guess they ended up being mo...	hersh	20	781	Nov 4, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Givers and Takers (Preview) Dear MIP friends, John's post down below reminded me of this quote. " Why is it that the takers of this world always seem to find the givers?" These wise words were said by a dear friend of mine many years ago when we both worked together at a center for survivors of domestic violenc...	athena12	4	704	Nov 4, 2006 by Jennifer
	You are not alone... (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Want an example of a strange 24 hours. Starting at 5:30pm yesterday I had a conversation with my AW. We are seperated for 2 weeks now and she is getting a little beligerant about how it is not right that we are apart. That I am doing this to her and she is pissed that...	rtexas	6	561	Nov 4, 2006 by Jennifer
	anyone else wish it was Jan and holidays were over? (Preview) I hate them! I get like this every year and I hate them!	Barbara	12	530	Nov 4, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	It's my life (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Another weekend dawns, and I found myself singing (badly) my song for the weekend. 70 MPH on the freeway on the way to work... windows down, drowning out the sound of the other cars and trucks.... Thought you might want to sing along .... Take care of you! "It's My Life...	rtexas	6	490	Nov 4, 2006 by Jennifer
	HAPPY 6 mo. Alanon B-day to.... (Preview) lilms!!!!!! Happy 6 mo. birthday to you...Happy 6 mo. birthday to youuuuu.. Hope you have a wonderful day!! Christy -- Edited by Christy at 18:20, 2006-11-03	Christy	3	427	Nov 4, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	a poem (Preview) A Promise I would do anything to prove my love to you I would climb a mountain or even change my name if it would just take away your pain I love you mom with all of my heart I just cannot understand why you would intentionally tear us apart I only wanted a mom Someone to tell me everythi...	Lauren ashley	5	354	Nov 4, 2006 by Andrea12
	Watching the world go by (Preview) Even though I have distanced myself from the active As in my life...I realized that all my life I have been not really living. I've been watching the world go by, because I have always put my life on hold because I didn't know what the members of my sick family were going to do. I find that I'm always waiti...	Noni	7	576	Nov 4, 2006 by Noni
	Graditude (Preview) I have had a few bumps in my road this week. So I put them on paper, was going to keep it for me but felt the need to share it: My recovery by DO When I entered this program I felt alone, lost and afraid. I knew something inside me had finally frayed. I felt the world around me become d...	DoN4me	1	349	Nov 4, 2006 by rtexas
	Take Comfort (Preview) You seek comfort by hiding away, but all you get is loneliness. You seek comfort by judging and criticizing others, but all you get is resentment. You seek comfort by striving and acquiring, but all you get is the insecurity of knowing that those things you have will not last. You seek comfort...	Phil	2	450	Nov 3, 2006 by nmike
	struggling today (Preview) So yesterday I post how I did the right thing and then.....my emotions are all over the place last night. I spoke to the A and was telling him about it and then I went off on an uncontrollable tyriad of how serious this is and he needs to get to AA and I know he's not going like he should and on and on I went naggin...	twinkie	5	470	Nov 3, 2006 by Jerry F
	Talk is cheap (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Every few days, I talk with my 11 year old Son about what is going on with my seperation from his mom. Of course the topic last night was patience. Patience, since Mom is not really doing anything towards her sobriety, but that doesn't mean she won't. Patienc...	rtexas	10	499	Nov 3, 2006 by barisax
	6 Month Anniversary (Preview) Good afternoon alanon family, I just wanted to post a note thanking you all for being a part of my "Miracle In progress". Tomorrow is my six month anniversary in alanon, started right here on this page. How cool is that I have learned much in six months but not nearly enough.&nbs...	lilms	6	431	Nov 3, 2006 by Karilynn
	I am not angry (Preview) I am sometimes sad and ashamed. I am sometimes afraid or glad. But I am not angry. I am not angry at my A for all the pain she causes, or at myself for how I react. She has a disease. She is doing what she can today to recover from that disease. I am doing what I can today to support her...	kabbie	3	383	Nov 3, 2006 by hersh
	Calm Poise (Preview) Al-Anon's Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions pg. 15. "Accepting disappointments, often unrelated to alcoholism, with calm poise, saved wear and tear on the nerves, as well as demonstrating our confidence that things ultimately worked out as they were meant to. This was by no means wea...	Rita G	2	422	Nov 3, 2006 by rtexas
	MIP Holiday Cards (Preview) ((((((((Family))))), Last year John came up with the wonderful idea of sending Holiday Cards to our MIP family members in the recovery house. It was an incredibly wonderful, magical and loving thing to do for them. I for one felt so good about sending a bit of cheer to some total strang...	Karilynn	8	542	Nov 3, 2006 by Becky1
	just some gratitude (Preview) i am not sure what has been going on here while i was on vacation. i knew it....i turn my head for one week and everything gets crazy!!! lol it is so difficult being responsible for the whole world!!! but honestly, this site has been a god send. there have been so many nights when i was so lonely and sad and i c...	serendipity	2	342	Nov 3, 2006 by hersh
	Al-Anon Birthday Gifts (Preview) Today is my Al-Anon Birthday...i'm graduating from the Terrible Two's into the Tyrannical Three's (teehee). Sooooo.... I wanted to post and pass out some "gifts"... mainly thank you's. Firstly, a big thank you to John for having created this site. 3 years ago when I began my search I needed to ta...	kismetstrand	11	600	Nov 3, 2006 by tea2
	Anyone going through rage and anger? (Preview) Rage is an advanced form of anger, just as panic is to fear, a state in which we are even less in control of our words and behavior. Hate is a condition in which we think very badly of someone, avoid contact with him, and probably wish the worst for him, perhaps even hoping that he might experience a tragedy...	Phil	4	519	Nov 3, 2006 by carosie
	Healthy thinking.... (Preview) (((Hi all))) Tonite AH may or may not go to his 2nd AA meeting - I am going to divert my worrying and my thinking and obsessing about if he is or is not going, what he got out of it, etc. to the following: I am free to do whatever I want tonite I may just go home and watch a movie; I may buy myself some dinne...	hersh	6	491	Nov 3, 2006 by annmarie
	Dealing with my physical problems also (Preview) I got really sick 4 months ago - my spirit and mind ganged up on my body and forced me to confront the problems with my marriage. I was swimming in the denial river for quite awhile. H is in midlife crisis and deals with his problems by drinking, staying out to all hours, coming home smelling o...	Orchid Lady	7	470	Nov 3, 2006 by Noni
	when you think you are not recovering.... (Preview) think back to last week, last month, last year at what you were doing. ....Last year...Oh my!!! ...I was riding past bars where I thought my A son hung out to see if his car was parked anywhere around them on my way to work in the morning. I would also do that after work. ....	Gailey	6	450	Nov 3, 2006 by Noni
	Guilt (Preview) I read somewhere - don't remember where - that guilt is a type of fear: of being afraid of living up to someone else's expectations. With that said - I feel guilty that I have no desire to be in touch with my immediate family members anymore (my mother, brother & sister). The guilt came on whe...	Noni	4	383	Nov 3, 2006 by Noni
	Positive Thinking (Preview) I recently purchased a video called "The Secret". Right now it can only be purchased on the net. This video is very powerful and is sweeping the internet along with a forum of the same name. This is directly from the CNN Larry King website Thursday's show Change your mind to change your...	Christy	3	401	Nov 2, 2006 by just me
	Iam convinced... (Preview) that sobriety is never forever. This lifelong addiction can be kept at bay for years and years; my own A was sober for 25 years. Sooner or later it will reappear to the devastation of all concerned with the A. My partner is sober today, but he has had several relapses in the past four years. AFTER 25 YEARS S...	Diva	12	694	Nov 2, 2006 by snoopy
	Recovery (Preview) I have been attending meetings sporadically for a little while. The first meetings I think I was drug, kicking and screaming to. Not literally, but I really didn't think I needed it, nor did I have time for it. So, I've been to a few meetings now and am beginning to let g...	butterfly6	8	555	Nov 2, 2006 by butterfly6
	Codependcy article (Preview) My local newspaper has an article in it's LIFE section about codependency, along with a checklist and some recommended authors and books. I don't know if they'll ask for email and such like that--if so, you may just get to know what's going on in Dayton, OH! www.daytondailynews.c...	Tiger2006	4	455	Nov 2, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Heidi wrote....................... (Preview) Loving someone with this illness is the worst thing I have ever gone through I so agree and knowing I am not alone in feeling this way is what is keeping me sane today. (((Heidi)))..thank you! Love.....Gail p.s. There's a special place in heaven fo...	Gailey	1	389	Nov 2, 2006 by hersh
	Human First (Preview) Good afternoon my friends, Just a reminder that we are all human first. Disagreements arise, misunderstandings happen yet we all belong to the same family. On that note, I celebrate you all, a part of my family. lilms	lilms	1	428	Nov 2, 2006 by canadianguy
	Back from vacation (Preview) So my AH came home last night after a week of golf with his buddies. The night before he left for his vacation he came in at 4 AM. Not much of a goodbye for me or our daughter. Well he arrived home on time but not a word about how hurtful his actions were before he left. I was polite an...	Elizabeth M	3	341	Nov 2, 2006 by Lunamoth
	So the ambulance just left... (Preview) How's that for a subject title? I do not know who I am more ticked at right now... myself... or the alcoholic in my life. some history......... My A has been on and off the wagon so much I swear the axles are going to break. He's 36 yrs old... and me being the one who picks up everyones peices and puts them...	allnamesrtaken	12	560	Nov 2, 2006 by hersh
	wisdom to know the difference (Preview) Hi Everyone, Today I am so sad and just need to talk it out really. Last weekend my Abf went on another crazy binge. I was so worried. I tried not to be, but I knew he could end up in real trouble. I worried and I missed him so much. Eventually, he came back full of remorse. I told him I could not live this way any m...	annmarie	6	487	Nov 2, 2006 by hersh
	PLEASE REMEMBER PEOPLE ARE HURTING (Preview) Good Morning People Just a quick reminder of why people come into this chat room. We are all at different stages in our Recovery, No-one is any different in here. Some people can gather the strength quicker than others. But We must ALWAYS remember that this disease causes great pain to everyone...	ally	5	483	Nov 2, 2006 by shadow1
	Snowed (Preview) We were almost "snowed" by A daughter in rehab. She has been negotiating for a weekend pass, which was granted for upcoming wkend. Started bullying me for rides to and from, money for train, etc. I put my foot down - no train money, and I wasn't ready for her to come home. Meanwhile, she recieved some mone...	kabbie	9	589	Nov 2, 2006 by kabbie
	A moment when I first took care of myself (Preview) I mentioned taking an art class when I was going through my divorce... something to throw myself into, new, stimulating. I thought I'd share this funny little story of my first feeling of independence. I pulled up in the parking lot the evening of my class, and called home to check my voice mail. Th...	barisax	3	462	Nov 2, 2006 by Noni
	Took this kid a long time to learn this one.. (Preview) Before I have any type, of a healthy relationship with anyone else.. I have to form a healthy relationship with myself... And in return, I will attract other healthy relationships...	Phil	6	474	Nov 2, 2006 by Karilynn
	Simple to read...not always simple to do (Preview) God Grant me the serenity, to accept the things, I cannot change The courage to change things I can And the wisdom to know the difference.	Phil	5	439	Nov 2, 2006 by Karilynn
	Am I doing the right thing? (Preview) I keep praying for some guidance on this one. When my A relapsed last August it prompted his ex to file for a change in custody as my A has custody of their 9 year old son. My A has been embroiled in court hearings and a guardian ad litem was appointed to repre...	twinkie	9	600	Nov 2, 2006 by Karilynn
	Now comes the fear.... (Preview) (((Everyone))) Part of this program is recognizing emotions and it is so up and down, a lot of the time. Lastnight, after dropping off AH at his first AA meeting, I was panicked all of a sudden. I just prayed to God that something would sink in to him, but I was so physically affected, even...	hersh	7	563	Nov 2, 2006 by Jerry F
	On 777 posts (Preview) Well Alanon Friends, My 777 posts show alot of pain but also alot of growth. Thanks for your support. I had a great weekend and a great birthday. I love the fall and Halloween. I am learning so much each and every day. It is stressful this fall. Since my AHsober moved out, I have alot of chores to do by my...	nmike	3	391	Nov 2, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Question about the board (Preview) I notice that next to each member's post there is a description, "Newbie", "Member", "Veteran Member", "Senior Member", and "Service Worker" are the ones I've seen. While they are more or less self explanatory, I don't know what determines the setting. I have changed from newbie to member to vetera...	barisax	8	451	Nov 1, 2006 by Lexie
	Sad today... (Preview) Hi! I haven't posted in a long while but my life has been the usual - working my program, looking after my three children, home and working. I have had good days and bad days, more good than bad though! Just in case you don't remember my situation about 4 years ago my AH and I separated. He has his...	Feather	5	349	Nov 1, 2006 by Feather
	The hardest part of this (Preview) Hardest part is the realization that your life is all about what someone else is doing and trying to find ways to fill the holes left when you stop the obsession. I have been studying math of all things with an alanon tutor!(scary) I look forward to it (even scarier). I go to meetings...	carolinagirl	6	599	Nov 1, 2006 by Phil
	Struggling and NEED support (Preview) I'm not sure what is going on with me right now. Last night while I was journaling a quote came to me that one of my students use, "I don't know why I am doing this to my self!" This quote hit me hard. One of my students, an obsessed & compulsive eater, uses it everytime he gets caugth stealing foo...	sandie123	8	501	Nov 1, 2006 by peewee
	Hello (Preview) Hi! I'm new to this forum, but not to Al-Anon. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. He's an addict since 12. He's 29 now. He's been in rehab twice, but relapsed and never went back. His main problem is alcohol, but when he gets drunk, he gets high. Lately he has been trying to stop drinking and I think...	Violeta	7	568	Nov 1, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Got a card from my mom! (Preview) I have not heard from my A mother who estranged me back in April AGAIN!.... WEll today after a "gloomy" day I got a card in the mail from my mother. She seemed okay in the card...she said with love in it. BUT NOTHING bout me coming over for the upcoming holiday (Thanksgiving). BUT maybe that i...	sensitive1	3	295	Nov 1, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Change... a quote (Preview) (((((Family))))) I hope everyone is well today! I recieved this quote from our CEO. I thought it particularly timely with all that is going on around me and thought I would share it with you. Take care of you! "Change has considerable psychological impact on the human mind. ...	rtexas	5	423	Nov 1, 2006 by Karilynn
	Did my A really love me? (Preview) It's been 2 weeks since I separated from my A after 7years. He is living with a friend. He calls me and leaves nice messages in the mornings (sober) and at night he calls irrate. I have kept my boundaries. I haven't seen him. When he is nice and saying how much he misses me, I just say, "I'm sorry, but you ne...	kicky	6	473	Nov 1, 2006 by Orchid Lady
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.