Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

dessiray · dessiray

thurs he got home at midnight drunk, fri. bailed out, i enabled w/his money, sat. slept most of the day, sunday got up and cleaned garage....said he was sorry, can't drink anymore, feels stupid, won't drink anymore, going to church, going to change. all i can do is listen, if i get my hopes up or be...

HereIam · HereIam

olice: Child Refuses Ride With Drunk Mom POSTED: 5:14 am MST December 16, 2006 UPDATED: 4:35 pm MST December 16, 2006 E-mail this story | Print this story http://www.kpho.com/news/10551836/detail.html Sign Up for Breaking News Alerts MESA, Ariz. -- A 12-year-old boy refused to g...

lmt123 · lmt123

Just wanted to wish all my wonderful family here a blessed Christmas, and a very prosperous New Year! I do love you all,

and I am thankful that I found this site almost two years ago. I hope Santa brings every single one of you every good thing that you need and desire! ...

Diva · Diva

to see Gardengal's lighter post asking us to talk a bit of our favorite Christmas carols. I am sure her post brought a smile to quite a few faces, and we could use that. While I realize that the purpose of MIP is to help the loved ones of abusers deal with their lives, I think an occasional light post is refre...

Spiritually Calm · Spiritually Calm

Since I've been poking around in all of your lives and you have all graciously allowed me to reply to your posts, I thought it was time to share my story. First of all, I am not new to the concept of alanon, I have though, only attended one "physical" meeting. I may return ... who knows. ...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Keep on pondering, and suddenly the flower of mind will bloom with enlightenment, illuminating the whole universe. This can be called getting it in the mind, responding to it in action. Thereupon you can turn the earth into gold and churn the rivers into cream. Wouldn't that make life exhilarating?...

marty · marty

I have this friend who when i write her a email does not write me one back, The way i handle it is i get mad and say what i think and then i get a email I feel i dont deserve this type of treat ment do you think i am wrong to say so or should i stop dealing with this person What do you feel marty

dessiray · dessiray

i have to write...in 97 my a started drnking/na ...for 6 yrs it went on...i was in church and surrounded by support...i finally stood up and put him out after restraining orders, fights and such..he tried suicide which put him in a hospital..he blamed me...he then came out and it started again....

Maria123 · Maria123

((((((((((Friends))))))))))), I have found that I am unable to continue my service work on the Family Teens Room. They meet on Thursdays and Sundays at 8 PM EST. Not only has my schedule changed and the next month is going to be hairy, it's very important for me and others to rotate service wor...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone)))))) My AW, who is living on her own right now... is trying to detox herself. It is very confussing to talk to her right now. One minute she is raging at me over forcing her to do things this way, the next she is crying and wanting me to "entertain her" because she is being go...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

is there anyone out there who has an extra alanon book or can lead me in the right online direction to find a way to get some donated program literature because I need something to read when I am away from the puter. I have not idea when I can get to a f2f meeting. Is anyone willing to help me? Does...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

I am sorry I confused everyone with some posts. I think I screwed up and what I thought was posted wasn't. Anyway, the post that said "old donated alanon literature" was the one I am speaking of. I need ESH on the book or books I need to start out with in alanon. I do not get out much due to my health, and I am d...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

I know I hae only been here a while, and I may not have senority to be sending so many posts, but this is my haven, my outlet, and you all have so many wonderul suggestions, thoughts, and you truly care. Like I said, I have my A with me under false pretenses. This is MY HUD apartment. But he uses the fact that...

ragingchild · ragingchild

Okay, first you should know the basic information so confusion doesn't set in. Okay my mom lives with her 2nd cousin, which also has the same name as her and was married to my dad first (no, they are not "together" if you know what I mean). Her and my dad had my sister and brother, they divorce...

ragingchild · ragingchild

My world has been twisted turned and flipped in the past month and half. First the murder of my friend's sister, that was a total and complete shock and it was rough watching my friend go through that. Okay, Dec. 1st, my best friend of 21 years, calls me to tell me her mom died last night.&nbs...

ragingchild · ragingchild

OK, so I went to get my mom on her birthday 5 days ago and told her we were going to take her somewhere. I had already decided to take her to bath and body works (I had a great coupon too LOL) to get her some smelly goodies. I let her smell all the stuff and decided I'd pick up a few things (not...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Restraint with the eye is good, good is restraint with the ear. Restraint with the nose is good, good is restraint with the tongue. Restraint with the body is good, good is restraint with speech. Restraint with the heart is good, good is restraint everywhere. A monk everywhere restrained is released...

debilyn · debilyn

If anyone wants pictures email me. I have a few edensheart@centurytel.net. I also got the nerve to ask my animal list people of 12 years to help me fix my pickup. My friends are donated some, I have fifty. my son and his mechanic friend are going to do it. Hopefully it will be done soon. Being up here...

Party for a family member and alcohol · Rosepetals

Hi I am new here but not new to al-anon. My sibblings and I are/were planning a birthday party for our mom. I wanted only a moderate amount of alcohol, as there will be children invited. I would prefer no alcohol but it is not up to me. My siste...

twinkie · twinkie

This is tough...his disease and his weapons of trying to get me angry and anxious are in full throttle. He is not calling as he says he will - all week long and for the past few - he doesn't do what he promises he will do. I know it is futile for me to get angry - I am not dealing with a sane man and his diseas...

annah · annah

I swear I am (used to be?) an upbeat optimistic person who always had high hopes. Sometimes too high I guess. Now, how did I get to be the doomsday prophet. When the bingedrinking A gets sober and swears that all is well with the world I can only listen to a certain amount of what I perceive as bullshit. It is...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have to remind myself when I get slumped down with yet another holiday with the A that there is only two more weeks to go. I know there is a lot of light for me in the nwe year. For one my financial obligation to the A is less. I will finally have paid for the truck that h...

debilyn · debilyn

It was very awful being here alone without my AH. No phones no power, no vehicle. Had candles and my headlamp. Was afraid to sleep in my room becuz it has a slider to the south and a window to my tree. Did anyway as all my feather bedding was in there. I feel so bad I did not bring the horses in. But everyone...

albertarose · albertarose

My "A" likes to give me the silent treatment when things in his mind are not going the way he wants them to or I may have said something to him that offended him. I struggle with this and it hurts. I do not know how to approach him or the issue at hand. I find myself beating myself up as to "What did I say" o...

hersh · hersh

Hi Debilyn: Just wanted to check on you and your farm and family and make sure you are okay. I hear things are really stormy up your way. I hope you are warm and cozy and have power to hook up with us. My brother lives on an island off of Seattle and haven't heard from him but it sounds re...

debilyn · debilyn

ok got everyone including suesue fannie and Boo in a nice warm dry place. (farm pig and pot) came in and psyched myself up and prayed to do Glaes. I cannot believe my Glaes. Got him into the bunkroom tied him. Told him all i was doing, would show him the scissors,cut the hair away,fl...

debilyn · debilyn

Glaes has a bad gash to the front of his left shoulder. I pray I have enough suture and needles. dang it is not good. (Glaesir is my beautiful dun Quarter horse, over 16 hands, black stripe down his back black mane and tail and stockings... Got the llamas shelter done...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have noticed lately that I have a seriously low opinion of men in general (no offense guys). I find myself thinking that men don't have any feelings and that they only want one thing. I think I have felt this way for a long time, but when I think about men I think in terms of they don't care abo...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

thanks in advance for any thoughts you may have, even though I didn't have much to say today.

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Misery is optional. We may have learned to be miserable, but we can choose to unlearn it. Though we can't control what happens to us, we can determine how we will interpret and react to what happens. We can moan about the things we don't like, using them as excuses for self-pity ("poor me"), or we can im...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I hate to say this but I know I thrive on chaos. I am at the top of my game when the pressure is on and I'm feeling a little bored and lonely. How do we get over that and not seek the chaos anymore?

twinmom2 · twinmom2

A relationship that ends is not a failure or a punishment - it is a lesson. As long as our definition of a successful relationship is one that lasts forever - we are set up to fail. There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship that will last forever, expecting it to last forever is what is dysfunctio...

babz · babz

Hi Everyone, I came into the program about 6 months ago, because I found out that my husband had been secretly gambling. He never talked about it and I found out by accident. I was very shocked, we'd only been married about 3 years. I had thought I had avoided marrying an addict - he didn't...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family)))))))))), Well I'm feeling like a bit of an Alanon fraud these past few weeks. I can come here with the "wisdom" I have gained here. I can respond to posts as if I was living the steps. So why can't I apply them to me in my daily life? I mean I know what I shoul...

kissers · kissers

I was told I have issues by someone in Alanon because I do not want to take the train to work. There was recently a murder on the train and the stop I would use is dark and not in a very good neighborhood. To me and other females I have spoken to have said they see it as being self-protective. Am I crazy to think t...

pearlygirrl · pearlygirrl

I am very concerned and confused. My husband has been sober barely 6 months (since July), and tonight... I have learned that he was drinking. I don't know/think he has been on other nights in the past 6 months, but I knew he was tonight by his behavior. He was very strange and I could s...

maire rua · maire rua

I have just managed to send off my first chapter for the doctorate I am studying. It is late and my supervisor has been probably really been irritated by my indecisiveness which I am working on with the help of the programme. I really hope its going to be ok and am very anxious about it but hey at least it bee...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am applying for unemployment, Just got out of the video session about an hour or two ago ,I got into the mearcy house and got a PO Box , the address is ... I will have a phone tomarrow. I will give you the number when I get it. I am going with a pre-paid one from Wall Mart I think it is my best bet until I am fully se...

omajoy · omajoy

Three years ago today my son lay critically injured with head trauma, a broken neck just millimeters from paralysis. He had a motorcycle accident, hitting a traffic sign after an on-coming car forced him off the road. Airlifted to trauma center.... Three days of induced coma, he then regaine...

bear · bear

As I was getting ready for work this morning my A came up to me and said 'we are not working are we'. It totally took me by surprise. You see the problem all comes down to sex. I simply don't have any interest anymore. when we get to bed he is usually so drunk that it is...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Lately I have found that when I am looking for something of value I used to have like a piece of jewelry for example, I find all kinds of things missing just disappeared into thin air. I get that bitter churning in my stomach and feel so angry about that. I hate looking for things and then real...

debilyn · debilyn

BANK ACCOUNT.....Please read this is very good! > > > > A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who > >is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair > >fashionably coifed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally > >blind, mov...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello to all. I have only been a member of this online group for just over a week or so. Not new to 12 steps, in fact, very familiar with them. Maybe I never was ready back then to truly have that desire to heal, and be willing to reach out for help. I can't figure it out. I live with and active A, who can be the s...

CJ · CJ

Hi friends, Been to my 4th f2f in 5 days... thought I had a grip on things, feelings, etc. I've felt overwhelmed over the last few days with having court coming up and the house to clean and work and this and that and this... I'm blue... I spouted off about how much resenting I am doing (in the group...

John · John

The Miracles In Progress Recovery House in Wilmington, NC has 12 men living in it who are in the early stages of recovery from alcoholism and/or addiction. They do not appear to have family or friends from which to gain healthy holiday wishes. As we all know, the holidays can be a hard time...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello ((Everyone)) I don't have much time to write this morning. A few days ago there was a fire at my Mom's house, everyone, humans, dogs, cats, bird is OK. We've set up a temp place for them to live (crossing fingers it works out) and today start clean up on the house. Insurance is a littl...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Time is anger's medicine. ~Proverb, (German)~ One of the things that we talk about in here alot is "How can this horrible situation be made right?"..."How can I accept this horrible pain?"...."What will I do?"....Time. Time changes a significant amount of our prospective from when w...

Cindy · Cindy

As an adult child of an alcoholic, I learned to compensate at a very young age. We just didn't discuss what was going on in our house. Now as a spouse of an active alcoholic, I have spent the past 23 years doing the same. I have always been financially tied to him, but thre...

meagain · meagain

I was wondering what others think about this. My DIL comes each day for lunch. She is one that never talks so that alone is a hard issue. But today she started "knocking" my other son -(not the one she is married to). She starts off by saying how "ryan" tells her kids he will buy them som...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I realize I don't HAVE to accept anything. My dilemma here is I loved my husband so much, everything fit perfectly, we laughed and got along great. He was all the things I wanted in a man except a few and the few grew. The thing I have a hard time accepting is that I can NEVER trust him again and I know that if I t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Our group is VERY small and the same people over and over and there's not another one nearby. My sponsor is good sometimes but I think I need more of something, I'm not sure maybe attention? Anyway, I need someone who not only challenges me but stays on me to work the steps and I'm not getting...

HereIam · HereIam

I am one of those open people, I feel like I have nothing to hide, and bond best with people who are similarly candid about themsleves. This is good, and it is not so good. Good: weeds out phonies Bad: may be a little TOO much information I say, I have nothing to prove and noone to impress. Ta...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

(((((Everyone))))) Last night as I cursed the Christmas tree lights, I thought, "Heaven help me -- I am powerless" Then I started laughing. When I finally got all the lights working, the blinkers blinking and found the extension cord I starting thinking about things here and...

bear · bear

Hi All I'm very new to this site but have been reading everything and find it has helped me so much over the last couple of weeks to become much stronger than I have ever been before in the 5 years of living with my A. I now realise, that I can not cure him and I do have to get on with my life and protect my...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was thinking how much it sucks that we have to accept having the expectation that people will fail, not follow through, lie, cheat, steal, and all the other things related to this disease. I mean this as assuming that these things will happen rather than assuming they wont as you would in a rela...

twinkie · twinkie

I thought I took Step 1 a few months ago, but I didn't. I read the words and I knew it intellectually, but not emotionally. When my A relapsed in August and all the troubles and consequence it brought him surfaced I thought that was it for him and for me. We could finall...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

My daughter now seems to think you can catch alcoholism like a cold. Every time I drink she says she is afraid that I will turn into an alcoholic. I know this is a very serious deep fear for her as she has already had 2 dads who are alcoholic her natural father died as a result. I kn...

maresie2 · maresie2

My work for some reason seems to have got incredibly difficult. Then I did a whole bunch of overtime and didn't get paid for it. I've done of the footwork of remedying that and am willing to to take it further if they don't pay me. I have another 6 weeks or more of wall to wall bills (...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Feeling a little frazzled right now. Thought I might type the stress right out of myself. LOL AW's mother has talked to a professional about interventions. MIL suggested that AW and her to talk to this person. It was a night that AW was particularly u...

rdlmtl · rdlmtl

I really don't know how to use this forum. God help me. I have a 20 yr old son that is a alcoholic and a drug user. I've bailed him out of jail twice. He recently had a wreck, thank God no one else was involved. This is his 2nd DUI and also has an open container violation also. He has lost his license for a l...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	another day of uncertainty (Preview) thurs he got home at midnight drunk, fri. bailed out, i enabled w/his money, sat. slept most of the day, sunday got up and cleaned garage....said he was sorry, can't drink anymore, feels stupid, won't drink anymore, going to church, going to change. all i can do is listen, if i get my hopes up or be...	dessiray	3	500	Dec 18, 2006 by carosie
	Smart kid refuses to ride with drunk driver (Preview) olice: Child Refuses Ride With Drunk Mom POSTED: 5:14 am MST December 16, 2006 UPDATED: 4:35 pm MST December 16, 2006 E-mail this story \| Print this story http://www.kpho.com/news/10551836/detail.html Sign Up for Breaking News Alerts MESA, Ariz. -- A 12-year-old boy refused to g...	HereIam	1	403	Dec 18, 2006 by lmt123
	Christmas blessings... (Preview) Just wanted to wish all my wonderful family here a blessed Christmas, and a very prosperous New Year! I do love you all, and I am thankful that I found this site almost two years ago. I hope Santa brings every single one of you every good thing that you need and desire! ...	lmt123	4	456	Dec 18, 2006 by lmt123
	It was so delightful... (Preview) to see Gardengal's lighter post asking us to talk a bit of our favorite Christmas carols. I am sure her post brought a smile to quite a few faces, and we could use that. While I realize that the purpose of MIP is to help the loved ones of abusers deal with their lives, I think an occasional light post is refre...	Diva	10	575	Dec 18, 2006 by Karilynn
	My Story (Preview) Since I've been poking around in all of your lives and you have all graciously allowed me to reply to your posts, I thought it was time to share my story. First of all, I am not new to the concept of alanon, I have though, only attended one "physical" meeting. I may return ... who knows. ...	Spiritually Calm	4	470	Dec 18, 2006 by doxie
	Keep coming back! (Preview) Keep on pondering, and suddenly the flower of mind will bloom with enlightenment, illuminating the whole universe. This can be called getting it in the mind, responding to it in action. Thereupon you can turn the earth into gold and churn the rivers into cream. Wouldn't that make life exhilarating?...	Tiger2006	2	400	Dec 18, 2006 by nmike
	how my day going (Preview) I have this friend who when i write her a email does not write me one back, The way i handle it is i get mad and say what i think and then i get a email I feel i dont deserve this type of treat ment do you think i am wrong to say so or should i stop dealing with this person What do you feel marty	marty	8	423	Dec 17, 2006 by marty
	sorry to bother.... (Preview) i have to write...in 97 my a started drnking/na ...for 6 yrs it went on...i was in church and surrounded by support...i finally stood up and put him out after restraining orders, fights and such..he tried suicide which put him in a hospital..he blamed me...he then came out and it started again....	dessiray	6	648	Dec 17, 2006 by dessiray
	a wonderful opportunity for service work (Preview) ((((((((((Friends))))))))))), I have found that I am unable to continue my service work on the Family Teens Room. They meet on Thursdays and Sundays at 8 PM EST. Not only has my schedule changed and the next month is going to be hairy, it's very important for me and others to rotate service wor...	Maria123	0	326	Dec 17, 2006 by Maria123
	Well I guess I hadn't counted on this... (Preview) (((((Everyone)))))) My AW, who is living on her own right now... is trying to detox herself. It is very confussing to talk to her right now. One minute she is raging at me over forcing her to do things this way, the next she is crying and wanting me to "entertain her" because she is being go...	rtexas	4	562	Dec 17, 2006 by maresie2
	needed a bit of a favor or direction (Preview) is there anyone out there who has an extra alanon book or can lead me in the right online direction to find a way to get some donated program literature because I need something to read when I am away from the puter. I have not idea when I can get to a f2f meeting. Is anyone willing to help me? Does...	hippietrippiechick	3	388	Dec 17, 2006 by gayle
	apology, plus a small request (Preview) I am sorry I confused everyone with some posts. I think I screwed up and what I thought was posted wasn't. Anyway, the post that said "old donated alanon literature" was the one I am speaking of. I need ESH on the book or books I need to start out with in alanon. I do not get out much due to my health, and I am d...	hippietrippiechick	1	384	Dec 17, 2006 by gardengal
	sorry or all the posts, but... (Preview) I know I hae only been here a while, and I may not have senority to be sending so many posts, but this is my haven, my outlet, and you all have so many wonderul suggestions, thoughts, and you truly care. Like I said, I have my A with me under false pretenses. This is MY HUD apartment. But he uses the fact that...	hippietrippiechick	1	401	Dec 17, 2006 by rtexas
	sister living with her mom.... long post again (Preview) Okay, first you should know the basic information so confusion doesn't set in. Okay my mom lives with her 2nd cousin, which also has the same name as her and was married to my dad first (no, they are not "together" if you know what I mean). Her and my dad had my sister and brother, they divorce...	ragingchild	2	484	Dec 17, 2006 by ragingchild
	the past month and half (Preview) My world has been twisted turned and flipped in the past month and half. First the murder of my friend's sister, that was a total and complete shock and it was rough watching my friend go through that. Okay, Dec. 1st, my best friend of 21 years, calls me to tell me her mom died last night.&nbs...	ragingchild	0	422	Dec 17, 2006 by ragingchild
	Mom's Birthday surprise... long, sorry! (Preview) OK, so I went to get my mom on her birthday 5 days ago and told her we were going to take her somewhere. I had already decided to take her to bath and body works (I had a great coupon too LOL) to get her some smelly goodies. I let her smell all the stuff and decided I'd pick up a few things (not...	ragingchild	1	315	Dec 17, 2006 by Spiritually Calm
	Minding my own biznazz.... (Preview) Restraint with the eye is good, good is restraint with the ear. Restraint with the nose is good, good is restraint with the tongue. Restraint with the body is good, good is restraint with speech. Restraint with the heart is good, good is restraint everywhere. A monk everywhere restrained is released...	Tiger2006	2	381	Dec 17, 2006 by maresie2
	forgot (Preview) If anyone wants pictures email me. I have a few edensheart@centurytel.net. I also got the nerve to ask my animal list people of 12 years to help me fix my pickup. My friends are donated some, I have fifty. my son and his mechanic friend are going to do it. Hopefully it will be done soon. Being up here...	debilyn	2	387	Dec 17, 2006 by Maria123
	Party for a family member and alcohol (Preview) Hi I am new here but not new to al-anon. My sibblings and I are/were planning a birthday party for our mom. I wanted only a moderate amount of alcohol, as there will be children invited. I would prefer no alcohol but it is not up to me. My siste...	Rosepetals	5	405	Dec 16, 2006 by ShelBell
	his disease is trying to pull me in again... (Preview) This is tough...his disease and his weapons of trying to get me angry and anxious are in full throttle. He is not calling as he says he will - all week long and for the past few - he doesn't do what he promises he will do. I know it is futile for me to get angry - I am not dealing with a sane man and his diseas...	twinkie	4	449	Dec 16, 2006 by nmike
	optimism versus truth (Preview) I swear I am (used to be?) an upbeat optimistic person who always had high hopes. Sometimes too high I guess. Now, how did I get to be the doomsday prophet. When the bingedrinking A gets sober and swears that all is well with the world I can only listen to a certain amount of what I perceive as bullshit. It is...	annah	3	453	Dec 16, 2006 by Lunamoth
	2 more weeks (Preview) I have to remind myself when I get slumped down with yet another holiday with the A that there is only two more weeks to go. I know there is a lot of light for me in the nwe year. For one my financial obligation to the A is less. I will finally have paid for the truck that h...	maresie2	1	369	Dec 16, 2006 by nmike
	hurricane aftermath thoughts (Preview) It was very awful being here alone without my AH. No phones no power, no vehicle. Had candles and my headlamp. Was afraid to sleep in my room becuz it has a slider to the south and a window to my tree. Did anyway as all my feather bedding was in there. I feel so bad I did not bring the horses in. But everyone...	debilyn	1	430	Dec 16, 2006 by maresie2
	Silent Treatment (Preview) My "A" likes to give me the silent treatment when things in his mind are not going the way he wants them to or I may have said something to him that offended him. I struggle with this and it hurts. I do not know how to approach him or the issue at hand. I find myself beating myself up as to "What did I say" o...	albertarose	7	596	Dec 16, 2006 by maresie2
	Debilyn, check in...??? (Preview) Hi Debilyn: Just wanted to check on you and your farm and family and make sure you are okay. I hear things are really stormy up your way. I hope you are warm and cozy and have power to hook up with us. My brother lives on an island off of Seattle and haven't heard from him but it sounds re...	hersh	3	365	Dec 16, 2006 by maresie2
	eden update (Preview) ok got everyone including suesue fannie and Boo in a nice warm dry place. (farm pig and pot) came in and psyched myself up and prayed to do Glaes. I cannot believe my Glaes. Got him into the bunkroom tied him. Told him all i was doing, would show him the scissors,cut the hair away,fl...	debilyn	0	318	Dec 16, 2006 by debilyn
	more (Preview) Glaes has a bad gash to the front of his left shoulder. I pray I have enough suture and needles. dang it is not good. (Glaesir is my beautiful dun Quarter horse, over 16 hands, black stripe down his back black mane and tail and stockings... Got the llamas shelter done...	debilyn	0	306	Dec 16, 2006 by debilyn
	Issues with Men (Preview) I have noticed lately that I have a seriously low opinion of men in general (no offense guys). I find myself thinking that men don't have any feelings and that they only want one thing. I think I have felt this way for a long time, but when I think about men I think in terms of they don't care abo...	carolinagirl	15	750	Dec 16, 2006 by mama_nz
	attempting daily contact (Preview) thanks in advance for any thoughts you may have, even though I didn't have much to say today.	hippietrippiechick	2	375	Dec 16, 2006 by hippietrippiechick
	Misery loves company... (Preview) Misery is optional. We may have learned to be miserable, but we can choose to unlearn it. Though we can't control what happens to us, we can determine how we will interpret and react to what happens. We can moan about the things we don't like, using them as excuses for self-pity ("poor me"), or we can im...	Tiger2006	3	382	Dec 16, 2006 by TLC2
	I miss the chaos sometimes (Preview) I hate to say this but I know I thrive on chaos. I am at the top of my game when the pressure is on and I'm feeling a little bored and lonely. How do we get over that and not seek the chaos anymore?	carolinagirl	7	542	Dec 16, 2006 by Tiger2006
	A Codependency Quote and Question (Preview) A relationship that ends is not a failure or a punishment - it is a lesson. As long as our definition of a successful relationship is one that lasts forever - we are set up to fail. There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship that will last forever, expecting it to last forever is what is dysfunctio...	twinmom2	11	757	Dec 16, 2006 by Diva
	Breaking the "no talk" rule (Preview) Hi Everyone, I came into the program about 6 months ago, because I found out that my husband had been secretly gambling. He never talked about it and I found out by accident. I was very shocked, we'd only been married about 3 years. I had thought I had avoided marrying an addict - he didn't...	babz	4	1048	Dec 16, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Alanon fraud? (Preview) ((((((((((Family)))))))))), Well I'm feeling like a bit of an Alanon fraud these past few weeks. I can come here with the "wisdom" I have gained here. I can respond to posts as if I was living the steps. So why can't I apply them to me in my daily life? I mean I know what I shoul...	Karilynn	20	764	Dec 16, 2006 by mac57
	Someone in Alanon told me I have issues (Preview) I was told I have issues by someone in Alanon because I do not want to take the train to work. There was recently a murder on the train and the stop I would use is dark and not in a very good neighborhood. To me and other females I have spoken to have said they see it as being self-protective. Am I crazy to think t...	kissers	10	535	Dec 16, 2006 by cander24
	confused/concerned (Preview) I am very concerned and confused. My husband has been sober barely 6 months (since July), and tonight... I have learned that he was drinking. I don't know/think he has been on other nights in the past 6 months, but I knew he was tonight by his behavior. He was very strange and I could s...	pearlygirrl	7	517	Dec 16, 2006 by Kethry
	Say a prayer for me (Preview) I have just managed to send off my first chapter for the doctorate I am studying. It is late and my supervisor has been probably really been irritated by my indecisiveness which I am working on with the help of the programme. I really hope its going to be ok and am very anxious about it but hey at least it bee...	maire rua	2	398	Dec 15, 2006 by nmike
	Letter from the homeless A (Preview) I am applying for unemployment, Just got out of the video session about an hour or two ago ,I got into the mearcy house and got a PO Box , the address is ... I will have a phone tomarrow. I will give you the number when I get it. I am going with a pre-paid one from Wall Mart I think it is my best bet until I am fully se...	carolinagirl	5	550	Dec 15, 2006 by John
	anniversary of a miracle (Preview) Three years ago today my son lay critically injured with head trauma, a broken neck just millimeters from paralysis. He had a motorcycle accident, hitting a traffic sign after an on-coming car forced him off the road. Airlifted to trauma center.... Three days of induced coma, he then regaine...	omajoy	4	471	Dec 15, 2006 by omajoy
	Feeling guilty for not wanting sex... (Preview) As I was getting ready for work this morning my A came up to me and said 'we are not working are we'. It totally took me by surprise. You see the problem all comes down to sex. I simply don't have any interest anymore. when we get to bed he is usually so drunk that it is...	bear	7	626	Dec 15, 2006 by maresie2
	More Anger and Resentment (Preview) Lately I have found that when I am looking for something of value I used to have like a piece of jewelry for example, I find all kinds of things missing just disappeared into thin air. I get that bitter churning in my stomach and feel so angry about that. I hate looking for things and then real...	carolinagirl	3	460	Dec 15, 2006 by maresie2
	This is how I do it..... (Preview) BANK ACCOUNT.....Please read this is very good! > > > > A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who > >is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair > >fashionably coifed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally > >blind, mov...	debilyn	6	545	Dec 15, 2006 by TLC2
	newbie, wishing she had her life back (Preview) Hello to all. I have only been a member of this online group for just over a week or so. Not new to 12 steps, in fact, very familiar with them. Maybe I never was ready back then to truly have that desire to heal, and be willing to reach out for help. I can't figure it out. I live with and active A, who can be the s...	hippietrippiechick	6	768	Dec 15, 2006 by Diva
	Holiday Blues (Preview) Hi friends, Been to my 4th f2f in 5 days... thought I had a grip on things, feelings, etc. I've felt overwhelmed over the last few days with having court coming up and the house to clean and work and this and that and this... I'm blue... I spouted off about how much resenting I am doing (in the group...	CJ	12	617	Dec 15, 2006 by peewee
	*Christmas Request* (Preview) The Miracles In Progress Recovery House in Wilmington, NC has 12 men living in it who are in the early stages of recovery from alcoholism and/or addiction. They do not appear to have family or friends from which to gain healthy holiday wishes. As we all know, the holidays can be a hard time...	John	7	537	Dec 14, 2006 by doxie
	Fire, Family, Faith (Preview) Hello ((Everyone)) I don't have much time to write this morning. A few days ago there was a fire at my Mom's house, everyone, humans, dogs, cats, bird is OK. We've set up a temp place for them to live (crossing fingers it works out) and today start clean up on the house. Insurance is a littl...	Jennifer	7	522	Dec 14, 2006 by maresie2
	TIME= This I Must Earn (Preview) Time is anger's medicine. ~Proverb, (German)~ One of the things that we talk about in here alot is "How can this horrible situation be made right?"..."How can I accept this horrible pain?"...."What will I do?"....Time. Time changes a significant amount of our prospective from when w...	Tiger2006	3	560	Dec 14, 2006 by maresie2
	How much do I tell people about what is going on in my life (Preview) As an adult child of an alcoholic, I learned to compensate at a very young age. We just didn't discuss what was going on in our house. Now as a spouse of an active alcoholic, I have spent the past 23 years doing the same. I have always been financially tied to him, but thre...	Cindy	11	700	Dec 14, 2006 by lin0606
	O/T-so hurt! (Preview) I was wondering what others think about this. My DIL comes each day for lunch. She is one that never talks so that alone is a hard issue. But today she started "knocking" my other son -(not the one she is married to). She starts off by saying how "ryan" tells her kids he will buy them som...	meagain	9	579	Dec 14, 2006 by lin0606
	Follow up to accepting THIS... (Preview) I realize I don't HAVE to accept anything. My dilemma here is I loved my husband so much, everything fit perfectly, we laughed and got along great. He was all the things I wanted in a man except a few and the few grew. The thing I have a hard time accepting is that I can NEVER trust him again and I know that if I t...	carolinagirl	3	436	Dec 14, 2006 by Tiger2006
	I think I need a new sponsor (Preview) Our group is VERY small and the same people over and over and there's not another one nearby. My sponsor is good sometimes but I think I need more of something, I'm not sure maybe attention? Anyway, I need someone who not only challenges me but stays on me to work the steps and I'm not getting...	carolinagirl	2	404	Dec 14, 2006 by gayle
	Anyone here very 'out' about yourself? (Preview) I am one of those open people, I feel like I have nothing to hide, and bond best with people who are similarly candid about themsleves. This is good, and it is not so good. Good: weeds out phonies Bad: may be a little TOO much information I say, I have nothing to prove and noone to impress. Ta...	HereIam	5	473	Dec 14, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Perspective (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) Last night as I cursed the Christmas tree lights, I thought, "Heaven help me -- I am powerless" Then I started laughing. When I finally got all the lights working, the blinkers blinking and found the extension cord I starting thinking about things here and...	Lunamoth	8	468	Dec 14, 2006 by Lunamoth
	Going to Rehab... (Preview) Hi All I'm very new to this site but have been reading everything and find it has helped me so much over the last couple of weeks to become much stronger than I have ever been before in the 5 years of living with my A. I now realise, that I can not cure him and I do have to get on with my life and protect my...	bear	15	1327	Dec 14, 2006 by gayle
	It really sucks that we have to accept THIS... (Preview) I was thinking how much it sucks that we have to accept having the expectation that people will fail, not follow through, lie, cheat, steal, and all the other things related to this disease. I mean this as assuming that these things will happen rather than assuming they wont as you would in a rela...	carolinagirl	13	668	Dec 14, 2006 by maresie2
	I took step 1 finally... (Preview) I thought I took Step 1 a few months ago, but I didn't. I read the words and I knew it intellectually, but not emotionally. When my A relapsed in August and all the troubles and consequence it brought him surfaced I thought that was it for him and for me. We could finall...	twinkie	2	340	Dec 14, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Dilemma with my 12 year old daughter. (Preview) My daughter now seems to think you can catch alcoholism like a cold. Every time I drink she says she is afraid that I will turn into an alcoholic. I know this is a very serious deep fear for her as she has already had 2 dads who are alcoholic her natural father died as a result. I kn...	carolinagirl	14	723	Dec 14, 2006 by hudsond
	having a trying time (Preview) My work for some reason seems to have got incredibly difficult. Then I did a whole bunch of overtime and didn't get paid for it. I've done of the footwork of remedying that and am willing to to take it further if they don't pay me. I have another 6 weeks or more of wall to wall bills (...	maresie2	8	507	Dec 14, 2006 by twinmom2
	Not sure HP inspired this little talk... (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Feeling a little frazzled right now. Thought I might type the stress right out of myself. LOL AW's mother has talked to a professional about interventions. MIL suggested that AW and her to talk to this person. It was a night that AW was particularly u...	rtexas	12	649	Dec 14, 2006 by CJ
	Enabling? (Preview) I really don't know how to use this forum. God help me. I have a 20 yr old son that is a alcoholic and a drug user. I've bailed him out of jail twice. He recently had a wreck, thank God no one else was involved. This is his 2nd DUI and also has an open container violation also. He has lost his license for a l...	rdlmtl	13	530	Dec 14, 2006 by mel123
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.