Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

maresie · maresie

As you all know I am plainly in survival mode right now. I am moving out of being totally nail bitingly barely scraping by but I am still isolated and still not taking care of my immediate needs. I am trying to brain storm how to do that. One thing I have come up with is to try simply to reduce my level of fati...

maresie · maresie

As you all know two weeks ago I came home to find one of my cats dead. I had been out at an interview. I knew my cat was sick and deteriorating but I was in denial. I heard today I am not even being considered for a 2nd interview. I have really put forth a lot of effort to get into particular institution and jus...

Aloha · Aloha

Whew, I had a rough night last night. I'm exhausted because I could hardly sleep on top of it after I went to bed. AH wanted to take the car and drive himself to an AA meeting. I told him I didn't like the idea of his driving without a license and said I'd take him. Everything from that point forward turne...

ddub · ddub

I've heard tradition 2 read & discussed during Feb. a couple times at f2f meetings. I've thought back about my personal family group - we all try to repeat our thoughts on issues which makes me think no one felt acknowledged or heard. This lead to us as parents becoming defensive and I felt th...

debilyn · debilyn

Up on Cripple Creek she sends me If I spring a leak she mends me I don't have to speak, she defends me A drunkard's dream if I ever did see one Sound familiar? Enabling comes to mind... Can't sleep,time for a change in med. and cortisone shots. And maybe a husband? I was asleep, tryi...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Some of you will be aware, from my early posts, that I am not able to attend face2face meetings, though if there was one near enough and I was able to get to it I would go. Therefore I am wondering, it is 25+ years ago since I was able to attend a face2face meeting and my experiences were NOT good, would anyone...

kissers · kissers

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. Fo...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Why is it that I feel guilty about him not seeing his son? I need to come to some resloution that puts the responsibility completely on him. I feel that by not answering the phone when he calls, responding to emails texts, etc. that I'm cutting off all opportunities for him to step up because I'm not al...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My cat Spooky is precious but today she acted out--actually this morning and knocked a few important things off a table onto the floor and I really lost my serenity! She has recently been left alone inside because our other cat got sick and we had to put her to sleep. Anyway, she has been acting out a lot an...

Aloha · Aloha

I really want to start finding a sponsor... it's a hard thing for me to feel comfortable with, though... I mean, this sponsor is a person whom I might unload a lot of crap on. #1. Am I comfortable spilling my entire life story to a non-professional person whom I've maybe only met two or three times in a...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well if you can't tell by the title, I talked to my A yesterday after almost a year of virtually no communication. I promised him that he could see the kids if he was still housed, working, sober and had a way to get there next month. So I called to see if he wanted to meet for lunch on Friday to talk about it....

digby · digby

I know I need to let him go and fall or get up on his own because I feel like I'm just bringing him a more drawn out death. I wish I could put him in a basket and leave him on the steps of a church or a rehab center. I don't want to do this anymore. I want to not see what a waste he's making of his life, I want to pret...

parksy · parksy

my husband has always been a drinker but never like this, its been 5 years solid now, he knows i wont have him drinking in the house because of the kids so he spends all his time in the pub,usually 16 hour stints a day!. so i am alone. i used to chase him everywhere and phone him, then one day about 7 years ago i j...

kissers · kissers

A few years ago I was working at a college. Students would visit the office everyday. I was taught very early in life to be nice to everyone no matter how I really felt. A student came into the office one day and I felt an intense feeling of dislike for him. I would not say hello to him when he came in the office...

ESH · ESH

Haven't seen or heard from my A-bf since the first part of February. Have been trying not to count the days, but have noticed that it's what I do anyway. He binged badly this time; according to his parents it is one of the worst they have seen. He was hallucinating; he was crawling around on the floor bec...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I went with a friend and saw the movie, "Juno" last night. It is about a young girl who gets pregnant and gives her baby up for adoption. Anyhow, there was a moment in the movie that really struck me. It took me a while to really figure out why, and I am still sorting it out. It was after she gave bi...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family!! I decided to share this after some thought because some may have questions about the disease and someways it will manifest itself. Some won't care or see the reason for it. Understanding turns lights on and results in Ahas!! and leads to us having a clearer hindsight and map with whic...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

It's all good... I like that saying. I have never been so unstressed for such a long time. It's almost a month since we separated and I am still floating. I miss him sometimes in a nostaligic way but then when I see him he is all heavy and gloomy and brooding and I just want to run away! I don't know how I lived w...

BlueAlexis · BlueAlexis

Hello, everyone. I am new here and looking for some advice about a current problem I am dealing with. Let me give a brief history of myself first....... I was in a 5-year romantic relationship with an alcoholic, which I ended several years ago. Our relationship was of course very tumultuous and codepe...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family))))), I've been thinking about this post for a few days now. I have been trying to figure out a way to do this that will not offend anyone, nor hurt anyone's feelings nor break anonymity. My intent is good in purpose as well as to get people to think (including myself). I hope you will ta...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

Aloha · Aloha

I read this in a "Dear Annie" column a few weeks ago - and actually, the letter writer was addressing bi-polar disorder, but the following phrase from her letter really struck a chord with me: The brain is a physical organ subject to malfunction, the same as every other organ of t...

wp · wp

Help help, anyone. I can't get into the mip room on java tonight. What do I do now? mspw

omajoy · omajoy

I have been in an anxious and difficult mood for several days. More than days really....I have been trying to NOT think these thoughts. But since they are just flooding my mind and I cannot alleviate them, I must just write them down and send them out. I dare not talk about this with my sick spouse; he do...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

We didn't cause it, we can't cure it and can't control it! Alcoholism is a disease that causes dis-ease! And, alcohol is only a symptom of a real "thinking problem". My alanon group here comes up with all kinds of insight. Jen is one of our best! Keep coming back & don't leave until the mi...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

When the time comes... Does an Acorn dictate when it fall from a tree? Does a Catepillar crawl away from its cocoon? No, they follow obediently natures timely plea; And dance and bow To a Creators tune. Just as surely as the Sun rises after the Moon, and the rivers flow into the Sea, so the seasons lead the...

serendipity · serendipity

My meeting this morning was on the 2nd step and reacting. Someone brought up the fact that they react to their kids as they were reacted to in their family. With anger and frustration. Boy oh boy could I relate!!! I have been such a b**** to my kids. And my kids are exceptionally good kids. Probably becaus...

debilyn · debilyn

I am happy to share my son and I are talking again. I had left him an African mask on his doorknob. He emailed me. He is stressed about a bunch of stuff. As always overreacts. I believe it will be ok.I mostly told him how I felt. It was not that I had to know everything. I was only scared. I have lost so many loved...

round3 · round3

This is a song by Kelly Clarkson - and it rings so true for me. I've had this CD for quite some time, but I heard this song out of the blue tonight and the words just jumped out at me. Here they are.... "Beautiful Disaster" (Kelly Clarkson) He drowns in his dreams An exquisite extreme I know He...

serendipity · serendipity

I replied to Jean444's post yesterday and I was saying that I had 2 things that I have been thinking but I couldn't remember the other thing. I did today! It is (drum roll please....) I don't have to think about him!!!!! Tada!!!! LOL!!! I really do not have to think about him at all. He has no more power in my...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

The events of our past may plague us, but they did contribute to the fullness we feel today. And for them, for their involvement in who we've become, we can be grateful. Claiming ourselves, the good and the bad, is healing. It's taking responsibility--for where we were and where we're going. Claimi...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

((((Family))) Today I had to work from 8-6, work was hectic as we were very busy. Of course the retired AH did nothing all day as usual. My daughter called at 4pm to say she would be going out to her boyfriends tonight and wouldn't be home until late. I came home to find the AH passed out cold on the couch he...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This is dedicated to my husband! I don't know how I survived in this cold & empty world for all this time I only know that I'm alive Because you love me. When I recall what I've been through There are some things I didn't do Now I do the things I do Because you love me. Now that you're in my life I'm so glad...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

I wanted all of you to know that I received a lot of wonderful information to my last post, entitled, "Why do I continue to stay wrapped up in my ex A? ESH please.." I want to thank you for all the kind words as well as kindly telling me (agreeing with me) that my butt was o fire. LOL After reading t...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello family Sorry I haven't kept in touch like I should. Hope I am still welcome... My ex-fiancee (boyfriend, not hubby) and I have been separated for over a year and I feel I should have made so much progress in recapturing my life and making it better. Not.....I have been pining away for this man, who i...

nmike · nmike

But for the grace of my HP I guess. I was walking home from work last night in yet one more snow storm (try to imagine this Jerry F, he, he). I just could not get past my present situation. You work and live a lifetime to be a good person, eat well, exercise, have kids and raise them well, work, work hard, work h...

Maria123 · Maria123

We've got us a birthday girl today!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Birthday (((((((((OurTiger))))))))))))), Eat lotsa and have a great day love ya, Maria

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

I have got through days of NOT giving in, NOT paying the bill, NOT folding under the clever, intense, daily manipulation and I am feeling good. My daughter has had to go sort the mess out for her self and I have NOT played the rescuer. And, y'know what, I DON'T FEEL GUILTY AND I DON'T FEEL BAD, AND I DON'T FEE...

Maria123 · Maria123

My friends, I just had to share this funny and awesome moment with you all. It is yet another snowy day in New England (God will this snow ever end?) and I get a call from my 22 year old. In his best Maria imitating, and comedic voice, he says "Mom, it's snowing out today. You need to keep 3 car length...

Lady · Lady

Hi all .... I am new member here, but have been reading and absorbing for some time and I have began Alanon meetings in my area as well. I found a wonderful article by a man I repect as a marriage/family counselor, William Harley. He has written many popular books such as "His Needs, Her Needs...

Aloha · Aloha

Today's reading (February 21) in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon saved me this morning. It saved me from myself - from sending myself into a spiral. I can't remember exactly the text from it (the book is at home right now), but the jist of it was stop wondering if your A is lying to you. Stop putting yoursel...

round3 · round3

Got an email this morning from the exBF A. Chatty. Mentioned that he is hurting, mourning. Just a mention of that in passing. Said he doesn't and hasn't had a love life (since us), but he hopes I've found one. Said he didn't know why he was writing, but he knew I would understand and he wanted to hea...

maresie · maresie

when I lived with the A which in essence was only a few short months ago. I spent much of my summer with him in essence although I did not live with him, I was convinced I knew what was best for him.This summer when he decided to be homeless I became convinced I knew what was best for him in regards to living, an...

tea2 · tea2

I would like to post a reminder about copyrighting, because this site is home to so many I really find this issue so important to revisit.Below is what I had posted November 2006 * * * * * * * When I read: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retri...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Hello friends! I am so blessed to be on this amazing journey! And I, for once in my life, made the decision to make it!! I have never experienced the feelings that I have at the moment. I think I am feeling what freedom is like. I have been deceived for a long time. Though I still fluctuate ,I am, one day at a ti...

maresie · maresie

I do not yet have the job I need (that is with benefits and vacation). I do have something interim which is a mixed bag. I got to go to the doctors and took care of some pretty important issues. I am incredilby broke after years with the A. I desperately need dental work and glasses. I also really need to...

gardengal · gardengal

Oh wow what a concept. For us who have squirreled away some money for bread, milk, rent etc before the A in our lives takes it and buys booze. I always thought if I could only win the lottery things would be much better, my troubles would go away. Anything could be possible with that much money! But the que...

maresie · maresie

Fro me over the past week or so I've been confined to bed with a horrible flu. I could not get out of bed for a week or more and I had to surrender. I did not go into a pit of self pity about having no one. I did not do anything much but surrender to that I'm not in a good space. I am not in as bad a space as I've been in....

kozmicblues · kozmicblues

hello again! so, i did not go to the meeting on sunday because i had to write a paper for class, so i planned on going on tuesday night. but monday night, my brother (the A) went off the deep end. he started off with a suicide rant to my father, and started saying all of these crazy things bc my father had show...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Anger slows healing process after injury: study PARIS (AFP) - The adage that laughter is the best medicine has been backed by an unusual investigation which says that people who seethe with anger take longer to recover from injury. Previous studies have linked ill tempered behaviour, whether brow...

maresie · maresie

I am coming up to a year since I left the A. I am compiling a list of the obstacles I have to getting some place better, money, health, isolation, dental work, glasses, transportation, you name it. I'm putting it out there for hP to heal. I also have a shortage of furniture and other items I need to move to s...

Codependent · Codependent

I know this is a trite question, but I am really interested in what you all have to say on the subject....Do you believe in "meant to be"...in the sense that if it is "meant to be" it will work out....? This is something I believed as a younger girl, rejected later on and tried desp...

Minnehaha · Minnehaha

Hello! I am new to this forum and not happy to be here although I know what a blessing the A programs are. My husband is sneak drinking again for the 4th time in our 10 year marriage. He doesn't know that I know what he is doing. So I get that I need to focus on my own life, but pray tell, how does that work wh...

debilyn · debilyn

Yes that is an opossom,not a gerbil! haha I have a friend who does 'possom rescue. They are such a cute animal but people act like they are awful in the USA. I have raised two and they are so cumb and gentle. I am going to change it soon to another cute pic of them. hugs,debilyn

maresie · maresie

One way I set myself up with the A was to expect anything much from him. This past week I had minimal contact with him. I had no expectatons. I had no fantasy he would say sorry, understand, be appreciative. He may never be. I do not set myself up for that anymore. I expect nothing from him ...what a hard th...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Only 16 days after moving my husband out of our home and all those sick"feelings" have gone. I am in a position now to own my own moods. I don't have to blame him (not that I ever had the right to) for my feelings or moods. I am not alcohol afflicted anymore. It's out of my system. I've "deto...

Chetch · Chetch

Hi9 All, Well, here I am again. My AH has been doing fairly well. He hasn't gone to the Alcohol program the judge ordered after his DUI. Says his insurance won't cover it and he doesn't have the $2500 they want up front. He stayed sober for about 3 months and is now having a couple of drinks on weekends a...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Viral Anger Last night I was walking down the street in Los Angeles (yes, some people do walk in LA) and witnessed a fight between two drivers. This was no ordinary argument between passing cars. Both drivers got out of their cars and were screaming at one another. Eventually, even a police officer...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Don't get too hungry, angry lonely or tired! I know if I do any or all of these things, I have no serenity or peace of mind! I have been tired and hungry a lot lately but today I am doing great! Bless everyone! Remember, too, to keep it simple!

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

Yep...been way too long since I have written one so here it goes..... I want to save you I know i can't change you,and I know you may never understand what it is to feel you are too busy numbing your pain with alcohol,that you don't know what is real I see you withering away, I see you aging day by day I want to...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Reaching out (Preview) As you all know I am plainly in survival mode right now. I am moving out of being totally nail bitingly barely scraping by but I am still isolated and still not taking care of my immediate needs. I am trying to brain storm how to do that. One thing I have come up with is to try simply to reduce my level of fati...	maresie	6	496	Feb 28, 2008 by Maria123
	letting go (Preview) As you all know two weeks ago I came home to find one of my cats dead. I had been out at an interview. I knew my cat was sick and deteriorating but I was in denial. I heard today I am not even being considered for a 2nd interview. I have really put forth a lot of effort to get into particular institution and jus...	maresie	5	383	Feb 28, 2008 by Maria123
	Rough night (Preview) Whew, I had a rough night last night. I'm exhausted because I could hardly sleep on top of it after I went to bed. AH wanted to take the car and drive himself to an AA meeting. I told him I didn't like the idea of his driving without a license and said I'd take him. Everything from that point forward turne...	Aloha	6	497	Feb 28, 2008 by Aloha
	my family group dynamics (Preview) I've heard tradition 2 read & discussed during Feb. a couple times at f2f meetings. I've thought back about my personal family group - we all try to repeat our thoughts on issues which makes me think no one felt acknowledged or heard. This lead to us as parents becoming defensive and I felt th...	ddub	3	491	Feb 27, 2008 by ddub
	just sharing, probably boring (Preview) Up on Cripple Creek she sends me If I spring a leak she mends me I don't have to speak, she defends me A drunkard's dream if I ever did see one Sound familiar? Enabling comes to mind... Can't sleep,time for a change in med. and cortisone shots. And maybe a husband? I was asleep, tryi...	debilyn	6	475	Feb 27, 2008 by Becky1
	Face to Face Meetings... (Preview) Some of you will be aware, from my early posts, that I am not able to attend face2face meetings, though if there was one near enough and I was able to get to it I would go. Therefore I am wondering, it is 25+ years ago since I was able to attend a face2face meeting and my experiences were NOT good, would anyone...	Heartbroken	17	1008	Feb 27, 2008 by Jen
	A Little Humor For Today (Preview) A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. Fo...	kissers	4	623	Feb 27, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	Guilty Feelings! (Preview) Why is it that I feel guilty about him not seeing his son? I need to come to some resloution that puts the responsibility completely on him. I feel that by not answering the phone when he calls, responding to emails texts, etc. that I'm cutting off all opportunities for him to step up because I'm not al...	carolinagirl	18	601	Feb 27, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	My Cat Spooky (Preview) My cat Spooky is precious but today she acted out--actually this morning and knocked a few important things off a table onto the floor and I really lost my serenity! She has recently been left alone inside because our other cat got sick and we had to put her to sleep. Anyway, she has been acting out a lot an...	Hoot Nanny	10	515	Feb 27, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Finding a sponsor (Preview) I really want to start finding a sponsor... it's a hard thing for me to feel comfortable with, though... I mean, this sponsor is a person whom I might unload a lot of crap on. #1. Am I comfortable spilling my entire life story to a non-professional person whom I've maybe only met two or three times in a...	Aloha	8	842	Feb 26, 2008 by Aloha
	Denial and Delusions (Preview) Well if you can't tell by the title, I talked to my A yesterday after almost a year of virtually no communication. I promised him that he could see the kids if he was still housed, working, sober and had a way to get there next month. So I called to see if he wanted to meet for lunch on Friday to talk about it....	carolinagirl	17	659	Feb 26, 2008 by carolinagirl
	How do I leave my son (Preview) I know I need to let him go and fall or get up on his own because I feel like I'm just bringing him a more drawn out death. I wish I could put him in a basket and leave him on the steps of a church or a rehab center. I don't want to do this anymore. I want to not see what a waste he's making of his life, I want to pret...	digby	11	687	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	i dont know anything anymore! (Preview) my husband has always been a drinker but never like this, its been 5 years solid now, he knows i wont have him drinking in the house because of the kids so he spends all his time in the pub,usually 16 hour stints a day!. so i am alone. i used to chase him everywhere and phone him, then one day about 7 years ago i j...	parksy	7	593	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	Trusting Ourselves (Preview) A few years ago I was working at a college. Students would visit the office everyday. I was taught very early in life to be nice to everyone no matter how I really felt. A student came into the office one day and I felt an intense feeling of dislike for him. I would not say hello to him when he came in the office...	kissers	4	365	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	In limbo and keeping busy; working the program (Preview) Haven't seen or heard from my A-bf since the first part of February. Have been trying not to count the days, but have noticed that it's what I do anyway. He binged badly this time; according to his parents it is one of the worst they have seen. He was hallucinating; he was crawling around on the floor bec...	ESH	5	524	Feb 26, 2008 by Jean4444
	on my terms (Preview) I went with a friend and saw the movie, "Juno" last night. It is about a young girl who gets pregnant and gives her baby up for adoption. Anyhow, there was a moment in the movie that really struck me. It took me a while to really figure out why, and I am still sorting it out. It was after she gave bi...	Loupiness	4	423	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	Part of the compulsion lived for a lifetime (Preview) Aloha Family!! I decided to share this after some thought because some may have questions about the disease and someways it will manifest itself. Some won't care or see the reason for it. Understanding turns lights on and results in Ahas!! and leads to us having a clearer hindsight and map with whic...	Jerry F	8	549	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	It's all good (Preview) It's all good... I like that saying. I have never been so unstressed for such a long time. It's almost a month since we separated and I am still floating. I miss him sometimes in a nostaligic way but then when I see him he is all heavy and gloomy and brooding and I just want to run away! I don't know how I lived w...	silverbrumby	2	323	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	Am I being controlling by asking my partner not to drink socially? (Preview) Hello, everyone. I am new here and looking for some advice about a current problem I am dealing with. Let me give a brief history of myself first....... I was in a 5-year romantic relationship with an alcoholic, which I ended several years ago. Our relationship was of course very tumultuous and codepe...	BlueAlexis	21	913	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	Also known as..... (Preview) (((((((Family))))), I've been thinking about this post for a few days now. I have been trying to figure out a way to do this that will not offend anyone, nor hurt anyone's feelings nor break anonymity. My intent is good in purpose as well as to get people to think (including myself). I hope you will ta...	Karilynn	11	555	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	I think I found a great definition of love and happiness!!? (Preview) True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.	Jean4444	6	1256	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	A new way to view the brain (Preview) I read this in a "Dear Annie" column a few weeks ago - and actually, the letter writer was addressing bi-polar disorder, but the following phrase from her letter really struck a chord with me: The brain is a physical organ subject to malfunction, the same as every other organ of t...	Aloha	4	637	Feb 25, 2008 by round3
	Door to room shut on me tonight (Preview) Help help, anyone. I can't get into the mip room on java tonight. What do I do now? mspw	wp	2	438	Feb 25, 2008 by aunitedway
	A difficult mood (Preview) I have been in an anxious and difficult mood for several days. More than days really....I have been trying to NOT think these thoughts. But since they are just flooding my mind and I cannot alleviate them, I must just write them down and send them out. I dare not talk about this with my sick spouse; he do...	omajoy	8	442	Feb 25, 2008 by maresie
	the 3 C's (Preview) We didn't cause it, we can't cure it and can't control it! Alcoholism is a disease that causes dis-ease! And, alcohol is only a symptom of a real "thinking problem". My alanon group here comes up with all kinds of insight. Jen is one of our best! Keep coming back & don't leave until the mi...	Hoot Nanny	0	507	Feb 25, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Acorns and Oak Trees...Catepillars and Butterflies... (Preview) *When the time comes...* Does an Acorn dictate when it fall from a tree? Does a Catepillar crawl away from its cocoon? No, they follow obediently natures timely plea; And dance and bow To a Creators tune. Just as surely as the Sun rises after the Moon, and the rivers flow into the Sea, so the seasons lead the...	Heartbroken	5	1224	Feb 25, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	rambling about kids and steps and stuff (Preview) My meeting this morning was on the 2nd step and reacting. Someone brought up the fact that they react to their kids as they were reacted to in their family. With anger and frustration. Boy oh boy could I relate!!! I have been such a b**** to my kids. And my kids are exceptionally good kids. Probably becaus...	serendipity	1	545	Feb 25, 2008 by carolinagirl
	My son (Preview) I am happy to share my son and I are talking again. I had left him an African mask on his doorknob. He emailed me. He is stressed about a bunch of stuff. As always overreacts. I believe it will be ok.I mostly told him how I felt. It was not that I had to know everything. I was only scared. I have lost so many loved...	debilyn	7	544	Feb 25, 2008 by maresie
	Beautiful Disaster (Preview) This is a song by Kelly Clarkson - and it rings so true for me. I've had this CD for quite some time, but I heard this song out of the blue tonight and the words just jumped out at me. Here they are.... "Beautiful Disaster" (Kelly Clarkson) He drowns in his dreams An exquisite extreme I know He...	round3	3	348	Feb 25, 2008 by Codependent
	Oh I remember what the other thing was! (Preview) I replied to Jean444's post yesterday and I was saying that I had 2 things that I have been thinking but I couldn't remember the other thing. I did today! It is (drum roll please....) I don't have to think about him!!!!! Tada!!!! LOL!!! I really do not have to think about him at all. He has no more power in my...	serendipity	5	597	Feb 25, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Another take on flashbacks (Preview) The events of our past may plague us, but they did contribute to the fullness we feel today. And for them, for their involvement in who we've become, we can be grateful. Claiming ourselves, the good and the bad, is healing. It's taking responsibility--for where we were and where we're going. Claimi...	Jean4444	2	354	Feb 25, 2008 by babysteps
	AH SWEET SOLACE (Preview) ((((Family))) Today I had to work from 8-6, work was hectic as we were very busy. Of course the retired AH did nothing all day as usual. My daughter called at 4pm to say she would be going out to her boyfriends tonight and wouldn't be home until late. I came home to find the AH passed out cold on the couch he...	cookie1971	4	377	Feb 25, 2008 by cookie1971
	My HONEY! (Preview) This is dedicated to my husband! I don't know how I survived in this cold & empty world for all this time I only know that I'm alive Because you love me. When I recall what I've been through There are some things I didn't do Now I do the things I do Because you love me. Now that you're in my life I'm so glad...	Hoot Nanny	3	457	Feb 24, 2008 by Jean4444
	More about Let Go and Let God (Preview) I wanted all of you to know that I received a lot of wonderful information to my last post, entitled, "Why do I continue to stay wrapped up in my ex A? ESH please.." I want to thank you for all the kind words as well as kindly telling me (agreeing with me) that my butt was o fire. LOL After reading t...	hippietrippiechick	0	384	Feb 24, 2008 by hippietrippiechick
	Why do I continue to stay wrapped up in my ex A? ESH please (Preview) Hello family Sorry I haven't kept in touch like I should. Hope I am still welcome... My ex-fiancee (boyfriend, not hubby) and I have been separated for over a year and I feel I should have made so much progress in recapturing my life and making it better. Not.....I have been pining away for this man, who i...	hippietrippiechick	7	707	Feb 24, 2008 by Heartbroken
	How did I get to where I am? (Preview) But for the grace of my HP I guess. I was walking home from work last night in yet one more snow storm (try to imagine this Jerry F, he, he). I just could not get past my present situation. You work and live a lifetime to be a good person, eat well, exercise, have kids and raise them well, work, work hard, work h...	nmike	5	731	Feb 24, 2008 by Karilynn
	Happy Birthday Tiger (Preview) We've got us a birthday girl today!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Birthday (((((((((OurTiger))))))))))))), Eat lotsa and have a great day love ya, Maria	Maria123	8	511	Feb 24, 2008 by Karilynn
	RED LETTER DAY (Preview) I have got through days of NOT giving in, NOT paying the bill, NOT folding under the clever, intense, daily manipulation and I am feeling good. My daughter has had to go sort the mess out for her self and I have NOT played the rescuer. And, y'know what, I DON'T FEEL GUILTY AND I DON'T FEEL BAD, AND I DON'T FEE...	Heartbroken	12	593	Feb 23, 2008 by cookie1971
	Just when you think they are not listening . . . (Preview) My friends, I just had to share this funny and awesome moment with you all. It is yet another snowy day in New England (God will this snow ever end?) and I get a call from my 22 year old. In his best Maria imitating, and comedic voice, he says "Mom, it's snowing out today. You need to keep 3 car length...	Maria123	5	660	Feb 23, 2008 by cookie1971
	Co-dependency ~ Alcoholism (Preview) Hi all .... I am new member here, but have been reading and absorbing for some time and I have began Alanon meetings in my area as well. I found a wonderful article by a man I repect as a marriage/family counselor, William Harley. He has written many popular books such as "His Needs, Her Needs...	Lady	16	816	Feb 23, 2008 by newday
	"One Day at a Time in Al-Anon" saved me today (Preview) Today's reading (February 21) in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon saved me this morning. It saved me from myself - from sending myself into a spiral. I can't remember exactly the text from it (the book is at home right now), but the jist of it was stop wondering if your A is lying to you. Stop putting yoursel...	Aloha	5	645	Feb 23, 2008 by godsmerci1
	Where did my program go? (Preview) Got an email this morning from the exBF A. Chatty. Mentioned that he is hurting, mourning. Just a mention of that in passing. Said he doesn't and hasn't had a love life (since us), but he hopes I've found one. Said he didn't know why he was writing, but he knew I would understand and he wanted to hea...	round3	9	677	Feb 23, 2008 by drucilla06
	Giving up control (Preview) when I lived with the A which in essence was only a few short months ago. I spent much of my summer with him in essence although I did not live with him, I was convinced I knew what was best for him.This summer when he decided to be homeless I became convinced I knew what was best for him in regards to living, an...	maresie	1	451	Feb 23, 2008 by nmike
	Copyrighting (repeat of post) (closed) (Preview) I would like to post a reminder about copyrighting, because this site is home to so many I really find this issue so important to revisit.Below is what I had posted November 2006 * * * * * * * When I read: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retri...	tea2	0	449	Feb 22, 2008 by tea2
	What an amazing journey! (Preview) Hello friends! I am so blessed to be on this amazing journey! And I, for once in my life, made the decision to make it!! I have never experienced the feelings that I have at the moment. I think I am feeling what freedom is like. I have been deceived for a long time. Though I still fluctuate ,I am, one day at a ti...	silverbrumby	6	681	Feb 22, 2008 by maresie
	new job/new leaf (Preview) I do not yet have the job I need (that is with benefits and vacation). I do have something interim which is a mixed bag. I got to go to the doctors and took care of some pretty important issues. I am incredilby broke after years with the A. I desperately need dental work and glasses. I also really need to...	maresie	6	409	Feb 22, 2008 by maresie
	I thought my troubles would go away , IF I won the lottery (Preview) Oh wow what a concept. For us who have squirreled away some money for bread, milk, rent etc before the A in our lives takes it and buys booze. I always thought if I could only win the lottery things would be much better, my troubles would go away. Anything could be possible with that much money! But the que...	gardengal	12	779	Feb 22, 2008 by Lady
	learning here are limits (Preview) Fro me over the past week or so I've been confined to bed with a horrible flu. I could not get out of bed for a week or more and I had to surrender. I did not go into a pit of self pity about having no one. I did not do anything much but surrender to that I'm not in a good space. I am not in as bad a space as I've been in....	maresie	6	589	Feb 22, 2008 by maresie
	please listen and help! (Preview) hello again! so, i did not go to the meeting on sunday because i had to write a paper for class, so i planned on going on tuesday night. but monday night, my brother (the A) went off the deep end. he started off with a suicide rant to my father, and started saying all of these crazy things bc my father had show...	kozmicblues	10	776	Feb 22, 2008 by nmike
	Yahoo!-ish thoughts on feelings (Preview) Anger slows healing process after injury: study PARIS (AFP) - The adage that laughter is the best medicine has been backed by an unusual investigation which says that people who seethe with anger take longer to recover from injury. Previous studies have linked ill tempered behaviour, whether brow...	Tiger2006	2	436	Feb 22, 2008 by Aloha
	moviong on (Preview) I am coming up to a year since I left the A. I am compiling a list of the obstacles I have to getting some place better, money, health, isolation, dental work, glasses, transportation, you name it. I'm putting it out there for hP to heal. I also have a shortage of furniture and other items I need to move to s...	maresie	2	467	Feb 22, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Meant to be? (Preview) I know this is a trite question, but I am really interested in what you all have to say on the subject....Do you believe in "meant to be"...in the sense that if it is "meant to be" it will work out....? This is something I believed as a younger girl, rejected later on and tried desp...	Codependent	11	546	Feb 22, 2008 by Diva
	Theory and real life (Preview) Hello! I am new to this forum and not happy to be here although I know what a blessing the A programs are. My husband is sneak drinking again for the 4th time in our 10 year marriage. He doesn't know that I know what he is doing. So I get that I need to focus on my own life, but pray tell, how does that work wh...	Minnehaha	9	1311	Feb 22, 2008 by Jerry F
	lol lol my avatar (Preview) Yes that is an opossom,not a gerbil! haha I have a friend who does 'possom rescue. They are such a cute animal but people act like they are awful in the USA. I have raised two and they are so cumb and gentle. I am going to change it soon to another cute pic of them. hugs,debilyn	debilyn	10	746	Feb 22, 2008 by cookie1971
	expectations (Preview) One way I set myself up with the A was to expect anything much from him. This past week I had minimal contact with him. I had no expectatons. I had no fantasy he would say sorry, understand, be appreciative. He may never be. I do not set myself up for that anymore. I expect nothing from him ...what a hard th...	maresie	2	637	Feb 22, 2008 by Jerry F
	Some say love... it is a hunger, an endless aching need... (Preview) Only 16 days after moving my husband out of our home and all those sick"feelings" have gone. I am in a position now to own my own moods. I don't have to blame him (not that I ever had the right to) for my feelings or moods. I am not alcohol afflicted anymore. It's out of my system. I've "deto...	silverbrumby	5	778	Feb 22, 2008 by Heartbroken
	I'm back again! (Preview) Hi9 All, Well, here I am again. My AH has been doing fairly well. He hasn't gone to the Alcohol program the judge ordered after his DUI. Says his insurance won't cover it and he doesn't have the $2500 they want up front. He stayed sober for about 3 months and is now having a couple of drinks on weekends a...	Chetch	9	565	Feb 22, 2008 by cookie1971
	Yahoo!-ish thoughts on feelings 3 (Preview) Viral Anger Last night I was walking down the street in Los Angeles (yes, some people do walk in LA) and witnessed a fight between two drivers. This was no ordinary argument between passing cars. Both drivers got out of their cars and were screaming at one another. Eventually, even a police officer...	Tiger2006	1	651	Feb 22, 2008 by Jerry F
	HALT! (Preview) Don't get too hungry, angry lonely or tired! I know if I do any or all of these things, I have no serenity or peace of mind! I have been tired and hungry a lot lately but today I am doing great! Bless everyone! Remember, too, to keep it simple!	Hoot Nanny	2	371	Feb 22, 2008 by cookie1971
	Poem (Preview) Yep...been way too long since I have written one so here it goes..... I want to save you I know i can't change you,and I know you may never understand what it is to feel you are too busy numbing your pain with alcohol,that you don't know what is real I see you withering away, I see you aging day by day I want to...	Lauren ashley	2	577	Feb 21, 2008 by Maria123
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.