Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

omajoy · omajoy

I noted in two posts yesterday ideas about moving to Florida. It is a great place to live for its climate. And that is very important to many people. Where I live is snowbird heaven...that season is from around December until end of March. Then they move back UP NORTH. It is also a huge crowded urban...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

A recent post brought up a great point, I thought. It was about the idea of "being close" to someone who is an A. What does it really mean to experience closeness? Is it even possible to have an experience of closeness with an A? I struggle with this a great deal with the A's in my life in relati...

glad · glad

Went to a great f2f meeting today where I was given the opportunity to share what I felt. Tonight for the first time in several years I don't feel a terrible pain/ grief about my situation. I don't know if it will last as I am accoustomed to waking and going to sleep feeling like I need to "make a decisi...

debilyn · debilyn

hi family, Most business obstacles do not get me to tears and frustration. About six months ago I wanted to do a loan mod.I had to put handicapped access things in my home.I need them for about 25% of my life right now. Most were outside. The Mortgage company made mistake after mistake. I called a lot bec...

Aloha · Aloha

Yesterday I just had a great day - didn't think about my AH and our problems at all. He seemed to be in the same frame of mind, so we actually had a decent evening together. No sulking, no "silent treatment", no residual anger permeating the atmosphere. Of course we both got tied up watching...

babysteps · babysteps

Maresie was posting recently about wanting someone to come and take her away, to protect her and make everything better. I just realized today that I have been wanting the same thing. I have been telling myself that I am not enabling my AH by not pitching in with our business. I tell myself that if I start...

glad · glad

My boyfriend just went to his first AA meeting. Anyone have any suggestions on how to show support/ love, give enough space when he gets home? Okay nevermind I guess, he just walked in with AA book and some kind of coin in one hand and a six pack in the other- I am not kidding. Oh well back to focusing on only m...

CJ098 · CJ098

a couple years ago my dad told me that if I loved my AH and wanted to stay with him, then I should join Al-anon. I had no idea what al-anon was.... and I thought it could not help me. I had the idea that al-anon were for people who chose to stay in a relationship and were weak for doing it. I thought to myself,...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Hi folks I am looking at Compulsion and Desire and trying to work out where fear fits into these, ifindeed it fits at all. Compulsion suggests that I have no self control over something/need, I must have/do whatever, whereas Desire suggests that I do have self control and it is a yearning, a 'I would li...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))) You might remember i had a relationship with someone a few weeks ago. And got scared and ended it because he was kind, caring, considerate, loving, and i had never experience that before from a guy. I have regretted it ever since. I hurt him, in a way i shouldn't hav...

kissers · kissers

My daughter's father called and left a message on my answering machine. He found out where we live and my phone number. It's been 8 years since I have seen or heard from him. The last time I saw him he was on drugs and drinking, was physically and verbally abusive. I had to get supervised visitation due to h...

glad · glad

I have no understanding of being scared of being close none at all I only see it as control and being mean and withholding. It hurts so much. I'm telling my A he can go this morning. 4 years of being loving, open, always wanting what's best for him and being told that I am the opposite (because of his progra...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, I haven't been able to post for a while and I have missed you all! I don't know if you remember that I ordered a replacement keyboard for my laptop off ebay- well, the guy has disappeared and I am disputing the charge so still no computer at home. Also, my motor blew up in my Jeep last week- cannot eve...

John · John

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Good afternoon family, When I first came here I thought that I would be walking the steps, just the ONCE. Now, almost six months later I realise that I will be walking them many times. It has also come as a complete surprise to realise that as a result of the moral and searching inventory of myself that I be...

serenity62 · serenity62

March Business Meeting Minutes: MIP Business meeting, held March 2, 2008. Chair opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer 1st thing on agenda was the Secretary's report: February minutes were accepted as written. Next on Agenda was Treasury report: Dot was unavailable so it was tabled until...

CJ098 · CJ098

Okay, I got home from school tonight and I have to be up at 5am to go to work. My AH goes to school too. He drinks on his breaks from class, because there is a liquor store in the same area the school is in. So, he left class early and I was already done, we left to go wait at the bus stop(we don't have a car). He...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I noticed that Toby Rice Drews, author of the "Getting Them Sober" books, recently published the following summary of "sobriety statistics". I'm confident that Toby would have no issue with me re-posting this here, and also would agree that statistics such as these are tou...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

The meeting with the counseling place went well last night, the girl and I were instant friends which usually results in better service (sorry to say but it's true). She was very supportive of me, reinforcing what all of you have said about me not being a horrible mother. She has said that they provid...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was on the phone with the principal at the school trying to set up a morning meeting and my cell phone rings and it's the A. He calls to "thank" me for letting him see the kids yesterday and inform me that he slept on the beach last night - good thing it wasn't in the 30s as it has been lately - and t...

tma0413 · tma0413

Having a rough night tonight....AH got his police report tonight on his OUIL, found out that he may be charged with more than a first offense, which means he could be sent to jail. HE is angry and frustated and wants to fight his ticket...I am just trying to LET GO AND LET GOD. As he ranted and raved abo...

omajoy · omajoy

Regardless of how much I am trying to use the tools and deal with my son, it is always something. Right now and for the past two weeks it is where he wants/needs/can live. Since his divorce( 2 years ago) and losing a beautiful home in that process, he has lived in motel rooms, an efficienty above a laund...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

In class today a large part was spent on alcoholics and recovery based methods. I was in tears a few times. Can't really explain why. Guess sometimes I just realize what I'm up against. The teacher mentioned staged intervention and thought it was a good thing, just really reccomended having profess...

jemimap · jemimap

Hi all, My partner is a member of AA and has been sober for five years. He has not drunk since we've been together, and I haven't been affected by his drinking. I would like to develop healthy thinking habits so I can support his sobriety, and that we can have a healthy life together. I've attended a couple...

Aloha · Aloha

In my desparation to ground myself and stop obsessing about everything I think my AH is doing wrong, I decided to read some of the materials on about.com found here: http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/info2/a/aa010315a.htm I've only managed to get to Part 6 - Why Do They Stay, but so much of th...

gardengal · gardengal

One of my greatest (lets call it) "character defects" was constantly trying to analyze everything and everybody. I was in constant turmoil with my thoughts thinking way too hard on why people act the way they do, when clearly it was none of my business all along. But no, here I was trying to g...

glad · glad

NO doubt this will seem like a small silly question with so many people going through serious issues but I'm gonna ask it anyway since it has been on my mind for a while. A while back my A and I went to a "self help" type seminar which turned out to be a total disaster for our relationship since it w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just got a call from my daughter's school she needs, needs needs. This is the one who is constantly acting out. The teacher caught me on the phone and said she's probably going to fail and have to repeat the 3rd grade this year. She never does homework, she doesn't participate in class, etc. I am at m...

maresie · maresie

My one remaining cat Ruby is really having a hard time mourning her companion, Benny's passing. She cries a lot and goes into a panic when the dogs are out in the yard. Lately she's been wandering round the yard. I think she is looking for Benny. Thank goodness I am at place in my program where I can give her...

meagain · meagain

Tks for the sincere posts of you in regard to my anger issue with my sister. This morning my Sister DID call me--I was so excited!! She finally called to tell me about my sister-in-law. Well it was more DRAMA about our mom....I listened and then I did tell her I was hurt that she could not communiate to me...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

I just want to give a message of encouragement to anyone who is feeling like giving up and running for cover. Believe me, I know that feeling, I have been there and on many occasions I have been proved that I have been nearer to success than I have been to failure when I have experienced and felt the most lo...

needhelp · needhelp

My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He is in rehab for the third time in 8 months. This last time he was out for two weeks and was drinking again within just a few days of being home. He then disappeared for about a week and a half and now went back in. I know that he is not being honest about things to me (I just found o...

meagain · meagain

I know I should not be angry-but I am. My Mom lives in the samw city as my sister. So My sister basically is my Mom's #l caregiver. Mom is 82 but is fine i her own home. My sis in my opinion is very co-dependent. Her 2 adult married daughters are always at her home, eating, laying around etc.. with their kids,...

Aloha · Aloha

Sheesh. Just now as I was reading some of the posts here, my husband finished up writing his separate check to pay rent. After he hands me his check, he asks. "So are we still going to keep our money separate or what?" I just said calmly... "Hmm. Yeah. For the time being." &qu...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Hi family, just a note of some thoughts and questions I have been having. I thought you might be able to help me out- I have been thinking about an earlier post from Maresie about merging and people-pleasing and I began to wonder: what would it look like NOT to merge and people please but still connect a...

maresie · maresie

Does anyone watch this show. I have started watching that and sometimes catch Intervention too. I find it really helpful in identifying traits that used to absolutely cement me to the A. I can also find myself in absolute hyper reactive mode of should could woulda about others. I am amused in some...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So Friday I'm at the restaurant getting ready to eat and the phone rings and it's him saying "what are you doing"... I'm about to eat lunch... mind you we were supposed to meet for lunch and I decided I wasn't going to call him back to schedule it and he never called me... So he says I just now go...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Something I think we can all be proud of within this family, is the fact that we accept how a person is feeling, where a person is at along their journey to recovery and let each other just be. At other times, we take each other by the hand and encourage each other, reaching out to keep each other from stumbl...

omajoy · omajoy

I am very upset right now because I just lost my temper big time with my son....had not done this for a few weeks and had been working so hard not to be drawn into things. But here we are. I am ashamed and embarrassed and my cheeks are actually burning, pulse still racing 45 minutes later, and not looking for...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Is anyone here familiar with PSI - I don't know what it stands for, but it basically involves large group awareness training. Lou

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I really need to see a list of what people have in their al-anon toolboxs. What al-anon tools do you have in your tool box? I am really just seriously getting into the practice of making program phone calls when I feel myself starting to plummet. so, here is my toolbox so far: 1.) attend as many face to fa...

kissers · kissers

My mother called me this morning. She doesn't see very well without her glasses. Last night, she made a salad and used a new salad dressing. When she was finished eating, she went to place the bowl in the dishwasher and noticed she had eaten her salad using her dog's bowl. She thought maybe the crunchy st...

ddub · ddub

Hello MIP family, I keep going some days only by the support and encouragement of this family. I know weekends can be tough for all of us so I thought I'd ask for a line of the week from all of you to review when I am detaching and trying to stay calm. As I take in something daily from al anon readings there s...

Aloha · Aloha

I'm just having a moody moment. Got off the phone with AH... he asked me to take him to the person's house where he's buying a moped during lunch. Fine. I'll take you. This whole time he's just chattering happily about doing this and that with the new moped, yadda yadda yadda... And all I can think abo...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

(((Family))) One of my weekly chores, is to fill the pill boxes for myself, my AH and my Mother in law. My AH is afraid to take his pills on days when he drinks. Before I started Al Anon, I was very controlling and would nag him about taking his pills every day because that way I would know he wasn't drinkin...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Due to the recent activity here in England caused by one of my prayers being misunderstood, and at the suggestion of round3, this is a serious request. I have a problem with sleeping because of the continual dizziness [Vertigo]. My meds have been changed and I am back at the doctors next week if there i...

Rakenjake · Rakenjake

Hi everyone, I found this group almost three months ago when my AH came home from work and asked for help. He had never gone a day without a drink for his entire adult life and had been an active user(morning drinker etc.) for the past few years. I was in active denial/protector mode myself...wonderin...

CJ098 · CJ098

Hi all, Thank you for the responses from the last post. Maybe I came off as a little strong, but I want to make it clear that I didn't set the alarm clock because it's not my responsibility to make sure he gets up to go to work drunk....... Anyways, I made a big mistake today. My AH has been drunk for so long,...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Some time ago I admitted to myself and my Sponsor whilst taking my searching and moral inventory of myself that I did not always tell the truth and this has really been pressing on my conscience ever since I admitted this. Down the years my birthday, Christmas, Mother's Days, Get Well times have never b...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

So in need to give you all a hug...and so in need to be hugged. Today is one of those days! however I am knocking it down to size. I am NOT GOING TO LET IT PULL ME DOWN. Instead I am handing out hugs and love to anyone who needs some genuine heartfelt loving hugs. Some come and get as much and as many as you like...

round3 · round3

Just thinking tonight how sick I've stayed for so long. I think recovery is just starting to clear some of the fog that has been over my head for YEARS! I mean, with the denial (denial, denial, denial!) and making excuses, and enabling, and all of that that I did with the A. Looking back over the past,...

DANDTALWAYS · DANDTALWAYS

I'm trying to figure out away to handle this situation. My fiancee has been stealing money from me to buy alcohol. I suspected him of doing this in the past but last night it was confirmed. i got off my work my friend was being very rude to me by calling me names. I told him he shouldn't disrespect me l...

mon123 · mon123

hello i have a situation brewing. Non program people wouldn't understand my issue here. I have a very good friend. She's seen me through the early days with my AH. She never judged me. She saw me through my separation and getting back together with my AH. She was a shoulder to cry on and I could vent withou...

maresie · maresie

I went out on a date on Saturday and pretty quickly gave up my boundaries. What was meant to be coffee became an all day thing. At first I was happy. That was the stuff of my dreams before. Merge merge merge. Now I am clear that I need a lot of help and feedback before I test the dating world again. So much for...

Aloha · Aloha

It seems no amount of Al-anon meetings and trying to be an understanding self-supportive person is doing me much good today. Everything my AH is doing today just TICKS me off. I'm finding everything wrong with him, it seems. He comes home from work late now that he got his moped today. He gets all...

digby · digby

I went to my meeting and it helped, but I wasn't ready for some of it. They recommended that I talk to his probabtion officer. He is not a juvenile and I really don't know that it I should intervene. I try to have him settle all his legal issues, and he has decided not to get a license yet. Yes, we drive him or...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

My AH is acting all cool, saw him this evening on his way somewhere all dressed up and sober and I'm starting to get paranoid and ask myself all these questions. "What's he up to"? He will be here all day while I am away and I am scared that he's happy because he might be taking revenge on me for kic...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Thanks for all your responses to my post! I will end up keeping our kitty as long as I can. I just love her too much to give her up! My husband loves her, too, and would never want to give her up either. I hope I can take time outs more often and let her alone. I will be discussing anger issues with my counsel...

BatonRougian · BatonRougian

I knew that it would be hard for my AW to get sober again after 8 years clean. I was scared of the chronic slipper syndrome. So when I thought she was coming up on 10 months I was think wow she really beat the odds. Oh well. Found out she can hardly remember the last 3 weeks due to pill abuse. All I saw was a tired,...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

After all the posts regarding my A and then the problems with my kids I have come to this conclusion. I have my own problems to deal with and my kids' problems to deal with and I don't have the time or energy to worry about whether he wants to see any of the kids or not. I'm not putting another ounce of energy i...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Considering FL? (Preview) I noted in two posts yesterday ideas about moving to Florida. It is a great place to live for its climate. And that is very important to many people. Where I live is snowbird heaven...that season is from around December until end of March. Then they move back UP NORTH. It is also a huge crowded urban...	omajoy	3	391	Mar 6, 2008 by omajoy
	"BEING CLOSE" (Preview) A recent post brought up a great point, I thought. It was about the idea of "being close" to someone who is an A. What does it really mean to experience closeness? Is it even possible to have an experience of closeness with an A? I struggle with this a great deal with the A's in my life in relati...	Jean4444	20	762	Mar 6, 2008 by Jerry F
	Ever wonder if meetings work? (Preview) Went to a great f2f meeting today where I was given the opportunity to share what I felt. Tonight for the first time in several years I don't feel a terrible pain/ grief about my situation. I don't know if it will last as I am accoustomed to waking and going to sleep feeling like I need to "make a decisi...	glad	5	727	Mar 6, 2008 by Jerry F
	friggin frustrated (Preview) hi family, Most business obstacles do not get me to tears and frustration. About six months ago I wanted to do a loan mod.I had to put handicapped access things in my home.I need them for about 25% of my life right now. Most were outside. The Mortgage company made mistake after mistake. I called a lot bec...	debilyn	6	437	Mar 6, 2008 by nmike
	Nice having days where I don't think about it (Preview) Yesterday I just had a great day - didn't think about my AH and our problems at all. He seemed to be in the same frame of mind, so we actually had a decent evening together. No sulking, no "silent treatment", no residual anger permeating the atmosphere. Of course we both got tied up watching...	Aloha	3	512	Mar 6, 2008 by nmike
	Didn't realize (Preview) Maresie was posting recently about wanting someone to come and take her away, to protect her and make everything better. I just realized today that I have been wanting the same thing. I have been telling myself that I am not enabling my AH by not pitching in with our business. I tell myself that if I start...	babysteps	4	434	Mar 5, 2008 by Loupiness
	First AA Meeting HELP! (Preview) My boyfriend just went to his first AA meeting. Anyone have any suggestions on how to show support/ love, give enough space when he gets home? Okay nevermind I guess, he just walked in with AA book and some kind of coin in one hand and a six pack in the other- I am not kidding. Oh well back to focusing on only m...	glad	7	433	Mar 5, 2008 by JenniferN
	When I thought Al-anon was dumb.... (Preview) a couple years ago my dad told me that if I loved my AH and wanted to stay with him, then I should join Al-anon. I had no idea what al-anon was.... and I thought it could not help me. I had the idea that al-anon were for people who chose to stay in a relationship and were weak for doing it. I thought to myself,...	CJ098	7	788	Mar 5, 2008 by JenniferN
	Compulsion and Desire... (Preview) Hi folks I am looking at Compulsion and Desire and trying to work out where fear fits into these, ifindeed it fits at all. Compulsion suggests that I have no self control over something/need, I must have/do whatever, whereas Desire suggests that I do have self control and it is a yearning, a 'I would li...	Heartbroken	5	785	Mar 5, 2008 by Heartbroken
	FEELING POWERLESS AND HURTING.... (Preview) ((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))) You might remember i had a relationship with someone a few weeks ago. And got scared and ended it because he was kind, caring, considerate, loving, and i had never experience that before from a guy. I have regretted it ever since. I hurt him, in a way i shouldn't hav...	ally	8	550	Mar 5, 2008 by Karilynn
	He calls after 8 years (Preview) My daughter's father called and left a message on my answering machine. He found out where we live and my phone number. It's been 8 years since I have seen or heard from him. The last time I saw him he was on drugs and drinking, was physically and verbally abusive. I had to get supervised visitation due to h...	kissers	9	689	Mar 5, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Will I stay strong this time? (Preview) I have no understanding of being scared of being close none at all I only see it as control and being mean and withholding. It hurts so much. I'm telling my A he can go this morning. 4 years of being loving, open, always wanting what's best for him and being told that I am the opposite (because of his progra...	glad	4	527	Mar 5, 2008 by Jean4444
	Doing his legwork (Preview) Well, I haven't been able to post for a while and I have missed you all! I don't know if you remember that I ordered a replacement keyboard for my laptop off ebay- well, the guy has disappeared and I am disputing the charge so still no computer at home. Also, my motor blew up in my Jeep last week- cannot eve...	Codependent	12	439	Mar 5, 2008 by Codependent
	Good Video of some of our characteristics as Al-Anon's (Preview)	John	1	619	Mar 5, 2008 by gardengal
	Not just the once; however I have a dicotomny. (Preview) Good afternoon family, When I first came here I thought that I would be walking the steps, just the ONCE. Now, almost six months later I realise that I will be walking them many times. It has also come as a complete surprise to realise that as a result of the moral and searching inventory of myself that I be...	Heartbroken	2	570	Mar 5, 2008 by Heartbroken
	March Business Meeting Minutes!! (Preview) March Business Meeting Minutes: MIP Business meeting, held March 2, 2008. Chair opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer 1st thing on agenda was the Secretary's report: February minutes were accepted as written. Next on Agenda was Treasury report: Dot was unavailable so it was tabled until...	serenity62	0	371	Mar 5, 2008 by serenity62
	Do I set the alarm clock? (Preview) Okay, I got home from school tonight and I have to be up at 5am to go to work. My AH goes to school too. He drinks on his breaks from class, because there is a liquor store in the same area the school is in. So, he left class early and I was already done, we left to go wait at the bus stop(we don't have a car). He...	CJ098	8	861	Mar 4, 2008 by concerned123
	Sobriety Statistics (the great debate) (Preview) I noticed that Toby Rice Drews, author of the "Getting Them Sober" books, recently published the following summary of "sobriety statistics". I'm confident that Toby would have no issue with me re-posting this here, and also would agree that statistics such as these are tou...	canadianguy	14	7017	Mar 4, 2008 by SLS
	My solutions (Preview) The meeting with the counseling place went well last night, the girl and I were instant friends which usually results in better service (sorry to say but it's true). She was very supportive of me, reinforcing what all of you have said about me not being a horrible mother. She has said that they provid...	carolinagirl	10	423	Mar 4, 2008 by Tuggboat
	You're not gonna believe this..wait I forget who I'm talking to! (Preview) I was on the phone with the principal at the school trying to set up a morning meeting and my cell phone rings and it's the A. He calls to "thank" me for letting him see the kids yesterday and inform me that he slept on the beach last night - good thing it wasn't in the 30s as it has been lately - and t...	carolinagirl	11	671	Mar 4, 2008 by maresie
	Let go and let GOD.... (Preview) Having a rough night tonight....AH got his police report tonight on his OUIL, found out that he may be charged with more than a first offense, which means he could be sent to jail. HE is angry and frustated and wants to fight his ticket...I am just trying to LET GO AND LET GOD. As he ranted and raved abo...	tma0413	4	739	Mar 4, 2008 by tma0413
	It's ALWAYS something!! (Preview) Regardless of how much I am trying to use the tools and deal with my son, it is always something. Right now and for the past two weeks it is where he wants/needs/can live. Since his divorce( 2 years ago) and losing a beautiful home in that process, he has lived in motel rooms, an efficienty above a laund...	omajoy	8	422	Mar 4, 2008 by Jen
	Intervention on me intervening in AH (Preview) In class today a large part was spent on alcoholics and recovery based methods. I was in tears a few times. Can't really explain why. Guess sometimes I just realize what I'm up against. The teacher mentioned staged intervention and thought it was a good thing, just really reccomended having profess...	RainyJamie	4	571	Mar 4, 2008 by Karilynn
	partner of an AA member and grandchild of an alcholic - do I belong? (Preview) Hi all, My partner is a member of AA and has been sober for five years. He has not drunk since we've been together, and I haven't been affected by his drinking. I would like to develop healthy thinking habits so I can support his sobriety, and that we can have a healthy life together. I've attended a couple...	jemimap	11	681	Mar 4, 2008 by Karilynn
	Wow - this is a great read (Preview) In my desparation to ground myself and stop obsessing about everything I think my AH is doing wrong, I decided to read some of the materials on about.com found here: http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/info2/a/aa010315a.htm I've only managed to get to Part 6 - Why Do They Stay, but so much of th...	Aloha	5	666	Mar 4, 2008 by Codependent
	Do you try to over analyze people or events? (Preview) One of my greatest (lets call it) "character defects" was constantly trying to analyze everything and everybody. I was in constant turmoil with my thoughts thinking way too hard on why people act the way they do, when clearly it was none of my business all along. But no, here I was trying to g...	gardengal	9	1003	Mar 4, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Would help so much to have feedback please (Preview) NO doubt this will seem like a small silly question with so many people going through serious issues but I'm gonna ask it anyway since it has been on my mind for a while. A while back my A and I went to a "self help" type seminar which turned out to be a total disaster for our relationship since it w...	glad	7	661	Mar 4, 2008 by Loupiness
	I'm at the end of my rope! (Preview) I just got a call from my daughter's school she needs, needs needs. This is the one who is constantly acting out. The teacher caught me on the phone and said she's probably going to fail and have to repeat the 3rd grade this year. She never does homework, she doesn't participate in class, etc. I am at m...	carolinagirl	19	845	Mar 4, 2008 by maresie
	Live and let live (Preview) My one remaining cat Ruby is really having a hard time mourning her companion, Benny's passing. She cries a lot and goes into a panic when the dogs are out in the yard. Lately she's been wandering round the yard. I think she is looking for Benny. Thank goodness I am at place in my program where I can give her...	maresie	3	386	Mar 4, 2008 by java
	RE"anger (Preview) Tks for the sincere posts of you in regard to my anger issue with my sister. This morning my Sister DID call me--I was so excited!! She finally called to tell me about my sister-in-law. Well it was more DRAMA about our mom....I listened and then I did tell her I was hurt that she could not communiate to me...	meagain	1	397	Mar 4, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	'I just want to give up and run for cover.' Believe me I know that feeling. (Preview) I just want to give a message of encouragement to anyone who is feeling like giving up and running for cover. Believe me, I know that feeling, I have been there and on many occasions I have been proved that I have been nearer to success than I have been to failure when I have experienced and felt the most lo...	Heartbroken	7	551	Mar 4, 2008 by Heartbroken
	honesty (Preview) My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He is in rehab for the third time in 8 months. This last time he was out for two weeks and was drinking again within just a few days of being home. He then disappeared for about a week and a half and now went back in. I know that he is not being honest about things to me (I just found o...	needhelp	6	517	Mar 3, 2008 by maresie
	Angry (Preview) I know I should not be angry-but I am. My Mom lives in the samw city as my sister. So My sister basically is my Mom's #l caregiver. Mom is 82 but is fine i her own home. My sis in my opinion is very co-dependent. Her 2 adult married daughters are always at her home, eating, laying around etc.. with their kids,...	meagain	5	546	Mar 3, 2008 by maresie
	I didn't take the bait (Preview) Sheesh. Just now as I was reading some of the posts here, my husband finished up writing his separate check to pay rent. After he hands me his check, he asks. "So are we still going to keep our money separate or what?" I just said calmly... "Hmm. Yeah. For the time being." &qu...	Aloha	10	870	Mar 3, 2008 by round3
	So, what do you do if you DON"T people please? (Preview) Hi family, just a note of some thoughts and questions I have been having. I thought you might be able to help me out- I have been thinking about an earlier post from Maresie about merging and people-pleasing and I began to wonder: what would it look like NOT to merge and people please but still connect a...	Jean4444	7	604	Mar 3, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Dr Drew show on VH1 (Preview) Does anyone watch this show. I have started watching that and sometimes catch Intervention too. I find it really helpful in identifying traits that used to absolutely cement me to the A. I can also find myself in absolute hyper reactive mode of should could woulda about others. I am amused in some...	maresie	3	1521	Mar 3, 2008 by maresie
	Update on Visit! (Preview) So Friday I'm at the restaurant getting ready to eat and the phone rings and it's him saying "what are you doing"... I'm about to eat lunch... mind you we were supposed to meet for lunch and I decided I wasn't going to call him back to schedule it and he never called me... So he says I just now go...	carolinagirl	8	418	Mar 3, 2008 by Aloha
	Something this family should be proud of... (Preview) Something I think we can all be proud of within this family, is the fact that we accept how a person is feeling, where a person is at along their journey to recovery and let each other just be. At other times, we take each other by the hand and encourage each other, reaching out to keep each other from stumbl...	Heartbroken	3	622	Mar 3, 2008 by canadianguy
	lOST IT AGAIN (Preview) I am very upset right now because I just lost my temper big time with my son....had not done this for a few weeks and had been working so hard not to be drawn into things. But here we are. I am ashamed and embarrassed and my cheeks are actually burning, pulse still racing 45 minutes later, and not looking for...	omajoy	10	518	Mar 3, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Anyone? (Preview) Is anyone here familiar with PSI - I don't know what it stands for, but it basically involves large group awareness training. Lou	Loupiness	3	410	Mar 3, 2008 by Heartbroken
	What's in YOUR toolbox? (Preview) I really need to see a list of what people have in their al-anon toolboxs. What al-anon tools do you have in your tool box? I am really just seriously getting into the practice of making program phone calls when I feel myself starting to plummet. so, here is my toolbox so far: 1.) attend as many face to fa...	Jean4444	10	6871	Mar 3, 2008 by Jen
	A Little Humor For Today (Preview) My mother called me this morning. She doesn't see very well without her glasses. Last night, she made a salad and used a new salad dressing. When she was finished eating, she went to place the bowl in the dishwasher and noticed she had eaten her salad using her dog's bowl. She thought maybe the crunchy st...	kissers	5	635	Mar 3, 2008 by cookie1971
	and here's the weekend........ (Preview) Hello MIP family, I keep going some days only by the support and encouragement of this family. I know weekends can be tough for all of us so I thought I'd ask for a line of the week from all of you to review when I am detaching and trying to stay calm. As I take in something daily from al anon readings there s...	ddub	6	527	Mar 2, 2008 by ddub
	Grahhhh. What about ME? (Preview) I'm just having a moody moment. Got off the phone with AH... he asked me to take him to the person's house where he's buying a moped during lunch. Fine. I'll take you. This whole time he's just chattering happily about doing this and that with the new moped, yadda yadda yadda... And all I can think abo...	Aloha	3	460	Mar 2, 2008 by soberthought
	AM I BEING CONTROLLING? (Preview) (((Family))) One of my weekly chores, is to fill the pill boxes for myself, my AH and my Mother in law. My AH is afraid to take his pills on days when he drinks. Before I started Al Anon, I was very controlling and would nag him about taking his pills every day because that way I would know he wasn't drinkin...	cookie1971	7	416	Mar 2, 2008 by soberthought
	Read any good books lately? (Preview) Due to the recent activity here in England caused by one of my prayers being misunderstood, and at the suggestion of round3, this is a serious request. I have a problem with sleeping because of the continual dizziness [Vertigo]. My meds have been changed and I am back at the doctors next week if there i...	Heartbroken	14	847	Mar 2, 2008 by Tuggboat
	light (Preview) Hi everyone, I found this group almost three months ago when my AH came home from work and asked for help. He had never gone a day without a drink for his entire adult life and had been an active user(morning drinker etc.) for the past few years. I was in active denial/protector mode myself...wonderin...	Rakenjake	5	599	Mar 2, 2008 by travors
	About to give up on him.... (Preview) Hi all, Thank you for the responses from the last post. Maybe I came off as a little strong, but I want to make it clear that I didn't set the alarm clock because it's not my responsibility to make sure he gets up to go to work drunk....... Anyways, I made a big mistake today. My AH has been drunk for so long,...	CJ098	4	575	Mar 2, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Moral, immoral or just plain apathetic? (Preview) Some time ago I admitted to myself and my Sponsor whilst taking my searching and moral inventory of myself that I did not always tell the truth and this has really been pressing on my conscience ever since I admitted this. Down the years my birthday, Christmas, Mother's Days, Get Well times have never b...	Heartbroken	5	648	Mar 2, 2008 by Heartbroken
	HUGS TO SPARE...LOVE TO GIVE... (Preview) So in need to give you all a hug...and so in need to be hugged. Today is one of those days! however I am knocking it down to size. I am NOT GOING TO LET IT PULL ME DOWN. Instead I am handing out hugs and love to anyone who needs some genuine heartfelt loving hugs. Some come and get as much and as many as you like...	Heartbroken	3	504	Mar 2, 2008 by cookie1971
	I've got a thick skull! (Preview) Just thinking tonight how sick I've stayed for so long. I think recovery is just starting to clear some of the fog that has been over my head for YEARS! I mean, with the denial (denial, denial, denial!) and making excuses, and enabling, and all of that that I did with the A. Looking back over the past,...	round3	10	639	Mar 1, 2008 by Jean4444
	Advice (Preview) I'm trying to figure out away to handle this situation. My fiancee has been stealing money from me to buy alcohol. I suspected him of doing this in the past but last night it was confirmed. i got off my work my friend was being very rude to me by calling me names. I told him he shouldn't disrespect me l...	DANDTALWAYS	26	876	Mar 1, 2008 by DANDTALWAYS
	Just want someone safe to listen (Preview) hello i have a situation brewing. Non program people wouldn't understand my issue here. I have a very good friend. She's seen me through the early days with my AH. She never judged me. She saw me through my separation and getting back together with my AH. She was a shoulder to cry on and I could vent withou...	mon123	4	704	Mar 1, 2008 by mon123
	Testing the water (Preview) I went out on a date on Saturday and pretty quickly gave up my boundaries. What was meant to be coffee became an all day thing. At first I was happy. That was the stuff of my dreams before. Merge merge merge. Now I am clear that I need a lot of help and feedback before I test the dating world again. So much for...	maresie	10	529	Mar 1, 2008 by CJ
	I'm in a dangerous place tonight (Preview) It seems no amount of Al-anon meetings and trying to be an understanding self-supportive person is doing me much good today. Everything my AH is doing today just TICKS me off. I'm finding everything wrong with him, it seems. He comes home from work late now that he got his moped today. He gets all...	Aloha	5	935	Mar 1, 2008 by maresie
	Letting go one thread at a time (Preview) I went to my meeting and it helped, but I wasn't ready for some of it. They recommended that I talk to his probabtion officer. He is not a juvenile and I really don't know that it I should intervene. I try to have him settle all his legal issues, and he has decided not to get a license yet. Yes, we drive him or...	digby	4	571	Mar 1, 2008 by omajoy
	now I'm getting paranoid..another phase? (Preview) My AH is acting all cool, saw him this evening on his way somewhere all dressed up and sober and I'm starting to get paranoid and ask myself all these questions. "What's he up to"? He will be here all day while I am away and I am scared that he's happy because he might be taking revenge on me for kic...	silverbrumby	6	696	Mar 1, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Spooky (Preview) Thanks for all your responses to my post! I will end up keeping our kitty as long as I can. I just love her too much to give her up! My husband loves her, too, and would never want to give her up either. I hope I can take time outs more often and let her alone. I will be discussing anger issues with my counsel...	Hoot Nanny	2	446	Mar 1, 2008 by Karilynn
	Leaving Her Be (Preview) I knew that it would be hard for my AW to get sober again after 8 years clean. I was scared of the chronic slipper syndrome. So when I thought she was coming up on 10 months I was think wow she really beat the odds. Oh well. Found out she can hardly remember the last 3 weeks due to pill abuse. All I saw was a tired,...	BatonRougian	6	510	Mar 1, 2008 by cookie1971
	I know what I'm going to do. (Preview) After all the posts regarding my A and then the problems with my kids I have come to this conclusion. I have my own problems to deal with and my kids' problems to deal with and I don't have the time or energy to worry about whether he wants to see any of the kids or not. I'm not putting another ounce of energy i...	carolinagirl	9	742	Feb 29, 2008 by debilyn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.