Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Becky1 · Becky1

Wow, you guys really knew what you were talking about! Ever since I started detaching, in earnest, last August, my life has changed sososo much! Ever since I walked out the door when my AH was throwing a tantrum, calling me names, acting crazy.....my life has done a complete turn around. I no longer wal...

round3 · round3

Well my saga continues. Got an email from my A. They are scheduling his surgery!!! It will be in about a month. I'm so happy on a lot of levels. First - I'm happy that he's getting himself taken care of and that he will be on the mend. Secondly, I'm relieved that it didn't happen at my house. As most of...

tma0413 · tma0413

That is my greatest fear....that they are watching and I am not doing right by them. I married someone who is just like my father, only in a different day and age, do I want that for my daughter?? Do I want my son to grow up just like my AH?? Someways yes, other ways no. There was a fathers advocate on a loc...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I was woke up this morning around 7:30 by the phone. It was him. I thought something was wrong, but it wasn't. He just wanted to talk and missed me. So, I talked to him. He invited me over to watch the Lady Vols play the begining of the National Championship Tournament. They play during the afternoon somet...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I have suffered from chronic clinical depression since my teenage years. I also have a chemical imbalance that is not my fault, and finally, I listened to the doctor's advice and started on antidepressants many years ago. They are not the solution to my problems, but they help me live a fuller, more fu...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I get a tour of Hutchinson Community College's campus, and then I meet with the gal who heads up the medical information technology department. It looks like they have several of the courses I will need to take available this summer online so I will definitely inquire about that while I am there. My big...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I've had a pretty good day today. Went to a meeting in a different place this morning and it was a very good one. It wound up being about detachment. I'm going to read up on that and continue practicing like I have today. I haven't called him, I haven't emailed him. I've thought about him, yes, but I haven't...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((Family))))))), Just wanted to wish you all a very HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SPRING! I'm in the northeast and it's snowing like crazy! We've had a very mild, wierd winter here. Lots of ice, slush but not much in the way of accumulation. I'm a snow bunny by heart and the lack of snow has hindered my ab...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I get up every morning at 6am to get my 13 year old daughter out of bed and then go back to sleep and get everyone else up at 7. She doesn't listen...shocker I know...and stays up till midnight, sometimes later. Then when I wake her up she goes back to sleep after I have gone away and misses the bus. Then I e...

Aloha · Aloha

I've been keeping in regular contact with my mom, who's an Al-anon member (i think I've mentioned that many times). In one of my emails to her, I told her about my ACOA meetings, in particular, and where a lot of confusion lies for me because to my knowledge, I didn't grow up with actively drinking pare...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I don't know why or how I'm surprised by it, but I am. I was simply talking to him on the phone a few minutes ago and was letting him know what I was going through here with all the yelling and missing the quiet of the house's solitude and said I wanted to come home. He didn't exactly start yelling but went on th...

round3 · round3

I had the chat with my A a few nights ago - and he threw me a little of a left curve. I've been processing - and I have moments of such clarity - then moments of such confusion. I really need some perspective. As most know - my A is living overseas and we re-established contact a couple of years ago (after a br...

grizmom · grizmom

I have been to 4 Al-Anon meetings in a row. I attended a decade ago and thought I didn't need it - ME change are you kidding? HE is the one with the problem! Needless to say, a decade later I see things differently! Anyway, I asked someone to be my sponsor last night and she said YES! I am so EXCITED!!!!...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I just completed my defense with my graduate committee (and others). Now I am alone. I completed it and did well. There were a few things I missed but overall, it was good enough. Now, I just feel like crying and crying and crying. I guess all the anticipation and waiting and working (3 years) and now it...

JenniferN · JenniferN

um ok....so my mom yells ALL the time because the kids don't listen and when she yells they yell back...so there is ALWAYS yelling in her house and my nerves can't take it anymore!!!!! I told her this morning that I miss the quiet of my house. She said that I have kids and quiet does not exist here. She compl...

ally · ally

(((((((((((Guys)))))))))))) What are we supposed to do when we dont know what we are feeling. I am lost to a certain extent in my life. It's swings and roundabouts. I get myself back on target for a few months, work my programme, do what's asked of me, and i feel happy enough. Then in time i slip again, we a...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I've learned to deal with chronic pain pretty good for the most part. I do believe that attitude plays a huge part in how I feel physically :) I've been diagnosed with degenerative disc disease, and do see a pain management specialist for steroid injections, which definitely help. I don't do any presc...

debilyn · debilyn

I read some of your other posts.I misunderstood.Those are your moms other kids? your sis and bros? I was thinking they were your kids. I am confused. love,debilyn

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Sharing tonight on what it's like after my husband has been gone for 2 months. (I kicked him out) Have allowed him to come over for visits and have had lots of talks when he is sober. But they don't achieve anything... He continues to tell me that he loves me and will wait till I come to my senses!!! Another a...

JenniferN · JenniferN

This video was shown to me by my hunny. It's on his boss's myspace page. I was so moved by it, I put it on mine and wanted to share it with you all here. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. blessings Jennifer

Jen · Jen

A newcomer at our meeting last night asked everyone to share "how you all respect yourself?" So I got to thinking about it some more today. Some of the things that came up were: eating right, exercising, asking myself what do I feel and what do I need, making meetings a priority, learning to s...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, Got the call with the info I was somewhat expecting; I just didn't know how it would be delivered. It was my AH, to tell me, in a nutshell, that the divorce needs to be off for now. Even though it is probably what we need to do, he needs to try and save our business so he just doesn't have the time or m...

glad · glad

My oldest daughter told me recently (she's 23) and beautiful I may add (bragging I know ) MOM I'm not gonna know to love myself like you loved me, I'm gonna love myself like I saw you love yourself! Made me wish I would have taken better care of myself, explored my interest and made more good friends when...

maresie · maresie

I am currently working the steps with the aide of a sponsor. One thing that leapt out off the page for me today in reviewing the steps is how I wait for happiness. I don't know what it is but I fear having happiness in the present moment. I do have some, thankfully largely in the shape of my pets who bring me...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I've made it through today. Came very close to having a job tomorrow through a temp agency. Who knows, perhaps if I call early enough in the morning, I may get something. We'll see. I've talked to him today a couple of times. And I've talked to my HP ALOT. I started reading "As We Understood". I...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Thank you. Your responses have been of great help and tell me over and over why I am here. I am here because I have gone through the bad times of living with an alcoholic and through the good times that produced wonderful memories. These memories are what have kept me hoping, and moving forward and when th...

Searching4Answers · Searching4Answers

I just discovered this forum. My husband is an alcoholic. Lately, it's been getting worse as far as his moods go when he is drinking. He has started to get very verbally angry with me, yelling at me and blaming me for everything that is wrong. How do you begin to leave a relationship and put some distan...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family)))))))), Could someone please post or pm with the Alanon traditions. I am very familiar with the Steps, but know very little (if anything) about the Traditions. Thanks so much. Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I took my daughter to a show at the House of Blues this weekend. It was her first concert and it was really great, very wild but fun anyway. For me it was somewhat of an eye opener. I saw a guy sitting with a kid that appeared to be younger than my daughter so I asked if we could join them. We were late gettin...

serendipity · serendipity

I am hurting. It has been a difficult weekend. For some reason, Gracie's death was haunting me and I was thinking about the ex. More than thinking, more like feeling like a shoe was about to drop kick me in the head out of nowhere. And sure enough.....I went to church and the whole freekin sermon was about...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I feel so grateful these days even though my life is still kinda crazy! I am tired too. My mom is on her way to her vacation for two weeks! I am glad she is getting time away & maybe this time I will miss her. I struggle a lot with my relationship with her but I do love her very much. My gratitude stems f...

glad · glad

Okay this is a share and a direct question - so those that feel they really are familiar with the Alanon "way" please direct me. I am tired of the "trash" ways in our life. Meaning beer cans everywhere, boyfriend's job is with all (dirty) blue collar workers and boss (as recent pos...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

((((Family)))) Today was my Mother in Laws birthday. The entire family gathered at her house. As we were driving up my AH made a comment that his alcoholic nephew was there. Many of you may remember the big blowup the 2 of them had a few months ago. It resulted in the police being called to his nephews hous...

Jen · Jen

I started to post this in response to Lou, but decided to just put it here. My AH is doing really well right now, and I still get really sad sometimes cause I wonder if its too late for me. I really do love him, but it seems the love is just buried so far down in the mess that I have a hard time seeing it anymore. It...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((((Family)))))))), To my Irish Alanonuts out there, just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! I know this is usually a day where people use the day to drink extra. But let's celebrate the Irish heritage and enjoy the day for what it is. I am not Irish (Rusian-Fili...

JenniferN · JenniferN

He and I talked when he got up and we REALLY need to make sure we communicate!! I did move out. However, we are not broken up. I had a misunderstanding in thinking that he wanted me completely gone from his life. NO! He doesn't even really want me gone from the house, but I told him that this is what we both nee...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Some time ago, ddub posted about Stress, and I found I could relate to every word she wrote. I have lived for the last thirty-three years with Chronic Stress and as a result in 2005 I ended up having a Nervous Breakdown. My doctor tells me that I have Reactive Depression not Clinical Depression, which fo...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

As most of you know I have 3 kids and for those of us who are parents of more than one we know that each child has their own personality and we relate differently to each. So here's my dilemma and I know this is horrible but it's true. I am having a really hard time finding the good in my middle child. This is t...

MIDGET · MIDGET

So I talked w my ex A tonite.He actually thinks hes going to be able to "go away and get himself straight" and come back to me !!!! Like Im a couch or something !!(those of you who have been keeping up w me , understand the couch pun !!) Can you believe that ?? I guess after paying for and going thru...

JenniferN · JenniferN

98% of my things are packed and I'll be moving back in with my mother today. It's not because of "her". It's because part of him wants to know what it would be like to be alone. He's never lived alone and he's 37 y/o. He's said this to me about a week ago; he's tired of taking care of other people, pa...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

so...I had a thought...I know HP loves me, looks out for me and gives me what I need when I need it. So......why then is it so much easier to focus on what my parents did to me or didn't do for me then it is to focus on how I know God is always with me and gives me what I need. Any thoughts?

JenniferN · JenniferN

I was just going through the caller ID and noticed he deleted her number. WHY? am I being paranoid? am I letting my hormones get the better of me? or is it the unmistakeable gut feeling that something is wrong here? I called my sponsor, no answer. I don't know what to do. I have this urge to call her and find o...

DeadOrAlive · DeadOrAlive

My sixteen year old came home drunk this am. He was sleeping over at a friends' house (supposidly). And I heard my AH yelling at him and part of his words were "you betrayed my trust". Hah some kind of bitter satisfaction as I have used those words against him and he has twisted them back at m...

glad · glad

Friday, BF got some bad news, he reacted like he always does and "made sad puppy dog eyes" saying he would deal with it but of course remaining so "sad and down". I of course reacted to his feelings and wanted to "fix" (control) the situation. Gosh I'm still learnin...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I have gone from saying way too much, to almost being speechless when I am around my sober husband. He is finally opening his eyes to the wreck our life has become. Long story not as long, he sat me down today and asked about how I was doing financially. Basically, I told him I was working all I could and ga...

DeadOrAlive · DeadOrAlive

Sadly I have been in the grip of the obsessive search for "evidence" for about a month (ouch!). And really, why? It was 2 weeks ago that my AH again fell prey to his demons. Supposidly a bottom. yeah. I hate this, and haven't done it for years but it is back with a vengence. Honestly I am try...

debilyn · debilyn

When high stress hits me, helping my very loved old dogs in their death, sobbing because I just lost my old man potted pig Walter yesterday, something is horribly heavy but I have to do it. When I ran out to help tucker, there was Walter dieing.He is over 100 pounds.I prayed to Jehovah,please help me, I pi...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Tugg brought up this great question which has been rising from many spots laterly, Carolina Girl, etc. How do we love those that are hard to love? We can choose not to love them or we can choose to love them anyway. Maybe its also about how do you practice unconditional love and acceptance or is it even pos...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I really am trying to work this program. I'm trying to detach and not "fix" him this weekend. And so far, I'm doing pretty good, despite the PMS and the uncontrollable urge I've had for the past 45 mins. to scream my head off about the recent phone call from "HER". He's been "d...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

For some time now I have been wrestling with silence. I have been afraid of silence, I have been disappointed by silence, I have thought that I was utterly forgotten and I was not prepared to sit, wait and listen through the silence any longer, for I wanted answers and I wanted them after the count of thr...

MIDGET · MIDGET

So I evicted my AH and filed for a divorce.He was full blown,lost his job,laying around drinking all day.Got so drunk he peed on himself while laying on the couch (yuk !!).So he cashes in his stocks and goes to Fl to help his dying Brother. He recieved the divorce papers,and he said he wont fight me on any...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am a little drained but am hanging in there! Yesterday I went to one of our larger towns that is 60 miles away and my AH was kinda impatient. I needed a pair of black shoes and he got a little frustrated! We walked through the mall to get the shoes. Anyway, he hates when I get shoes, go figure? He figured tha...

getoverit · getoverit

bro in law needs prayers re open heart by pass surg t u n love n namaste getoverit

cookie1971 · cookie1971

((((Family)))) I tried to post a new thread after the"meeting" on Wed. nite, but I was quite ill both Wed nite and Thurs. so I never got a chance to finish it. When I got home from work on Wed. my AH was in a foul mood. I determined that I was not going to mention the meeting, and that if he still wa...

Christy · Christy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Tea!!!!! [youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=yj6cbM-h8xg]

debilyn · debilyn

I finally made steps and am taking care of stressors. Had to put my two very old dogs down a few days ago. Tedirug and Herbert Hudson are no longer in pain and constantly starting fights. I have not slept all night for almost a year. Had to let them out allll the time,plus they woke me up grumbling. So I hav...

Aloha · Aloha

Ugh. Feeling down right now. Just when I finished my last post here, my AH calls me on my work line. First thing out of his mouth is "I've been trying to call you on your cell but you're not answering!" Sometimes my phone just gets into a dead spot and it won't ring. Sometimes I just don't hea...

search41 · search41

i havent been here in quite some time, but when i clicked on the chat room, it wont load for me. i get the little white square with the red x on the top left corner. does anyone know why that might be happening? obviously, the message board opens for me, but the chat room wont.... thanks in advance! searc...

glad · glad

"To forgive the unrepentant is like drawing pictures in a pond" (thanks Jennifer) He is sick, the reason I put up with it, danced a dance to try to fix it, turned myself inside out worrying about it, embarrassed myself over and over begging for it to be different was/ is because I "caug...

serendipity · serendipity

I am posting this mainly to document it. The 2 younger ones and I were at dinner. On the placemat were questions to start discussions. What would you do if you were president, if you had 3 wishes, if you could have a wild animal, etc. The last one was if you could go back in time where would you go and why. My l...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Alanon, You Knew What You Were Talking About! (Preview) Wow, you guys really knew what you were talking about! Ever since I started detaching, in earnest, last August, my life has changed sososo much! Ever since I walked out the door when my AH was throwing a tantrum, calling me names, acting crazy.....my life has done a complete turn around. I no longer wal...	Becky1	4	445	Mar 21, 2008 by cookie1971
	Hide and seek (Preview) Well my saga continues. Got an email from my A. They are scheduling his surgery!!! It will be in about a month. I'm so happy on a lot of levels. First - I'm happy that he's getting himself taken care of and that he will be on the mend. Secondly, I'm relieved that it didn't happen at my house. As most of...	round3	8	347	Mar 21, 2008 by Aloha
	The kids are watching/learning.... (Preview) That is my greatest fear....that they are watching and I am not doing right by them. I married someone who is just like my father, only in a different day and age, do I want that for my daughter?? Do I want my son to grow up just like my AH?? Someways yes, other ways no. There was a fathers advocate on a loc...	tma0413	7	322	Mar 21, 2008 by Jean4444
	A Morning Surprise (Preview) I was woke up this morning around 7:30 by the phone. It was him. I thought something was wrong, but it wasn't. He just wanted to talk and missed me. So, I talked to him. He invited me over to watch the Lady Vols play the begining of the National Championship Tournament. They play during the afternoon somet...	JenniferN	6	491	Mar 21, 2008 by Jerry F
	I got emotionally sucker punched by my dad yesterday (Preview) I have suffered from chronic clinical depression since my teenage years. I also have a chemical imbalance that is not my fault, and finally, I listened to the doctor's advice and started on antidepressants many years ago. They are not the solution to my problems, but they help me live a fuller, more fu...	Tenderheartsks	5	432	Mar 21, 2008 by Jean4444
	Big event coming up on April 3rd for me! (Preview) I get a tour of Hutchinson Community College's campus, and then I meet with the gal who heads up the medical information technology department. It looks like they have several of the courses I will need to take available this summer online so I will definitely inquire about that while I am there. My big...	Tenderheartsks	1	363	Mar 21, 2008 by Jean4444
	Good Day (Preview) I've had a pretty good day today. Went to a meeting in a different place this morning and it was a very good one. It wound up being about detachment. I'm going to read up on that and continue practicing like I have today. I haven't called him, I haven't emailed him. I've thought about him, yes, but I haven't...	JenniferN	4	356	Mar 21, 2008 by Jean4444
	HAPPY SPRING! (Preview) (((((((((Family))))))), Just wanted to wish you all a very HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SPRING! I'm in the northeast and it's snowing like crazy! We've had a very mild, wierd winter here. Lots of ice, slush but not much in the way of accumulation. I'm a snow bunny by heart and the lack of snow has hindered my ab...	Karilynn	2	302	Mar 21, 2008 by carosie
	Yesterday with my teen daughter... (Preview) I get up every morning at 6am to get my 13 year old daughter out of bed and then go back to sleep and get everyone else up at 7. She doesn't listen...shocker I know...and stays up till midnight, sometimes later. Then when I wake her up she goes back to sleep after I have gone away and misses the bus. Then I e...	carolinagirl	8	535	Mar 21, 2008 by QOD
	Piecing the puzzle together (Preview) I've been keeping in regular contact with my mom, who's an Al-anon member (i think I've mentioned that many times). In one of my emails to her, I told her about my ACOA meetings, in particular, and where a lot of confusion lies for me because to my knowledge, I didn't grow up with actively drinking pare...	Aloha	8	410	Mar 21, 2008 by Jerry F
	The A's Selfishness.... (Preview) I don't know why or how I'm surprised by it, but I am. I was simply talking to him on the phone a few minutes ago and was letting him know what I was going through here with all the yelling and missing the quiet of the house's solitude and said I wanted to come home. He didn't exactly start yelling but went on th...	JenniferN	3	385	Mar 20, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Conversation with my A (Preview) I had the chat with my A a few nights ago - and he threw me a little of a left curve. I've been processing - and I have moments of such clarity - then moments of such confusion. I really need some perspective. As most know - my A is living overseas and we re-established contact a couple of years ago (after a br...	round3	17	538	Mar 20, 2008 by Tuggboat
	I have a sponsor!!! (Preview) I have been to 4 Al-Anon meetings in a row. I attended a decade ago and thought I didn't need it - ME change are you kidding? HE is the one with the problem! Needless to say, a decade later I see things differently! Anyway, I asked someone to be my sponsor last night and she said YES! I am so EXCITED!!!!...	grizmom	5	401	Mar 20, 2008 by nmike
	A whole lot of nothing/no one (Preview) I just completed my defense with my graduate committee (and others). Now I am alone. I completed it and did well. There were a few things I missed but overall, it was good enough. Now, I just feel like crying and crying and crying. I guess all the anticipation and waiting and working (3 years) and now it...	Jean4444	17	686	Mar 20, 2008 by ddub
	Yelling (Preview) um ok....so my mom yells ALL the time because the kids don't listen and when she yells they yell back...so there is ALWAYS yelling in her house and my nerves can't take it anymore!!!!! I told her this morning that I miss the quiet of my house. She said that I have kids and quiet does not exist here. She compl...	JenniferN	6	460	Mar 20, 2008 by maresie
	WANTING TO GIVE UP.... (Preview) (((((((((((Guys)))))))))))) What are we supposed to do when we dont know what we are feeling. I am lost to a certain extent in my life. It's swings and roundabouts. I get myself back on target for a few months, work my programme, do what's asked of me, and i feel happy enough. Then in time i slip again, we a...	ally	9	408	Mar 20, 2008 by getoverit
	Could use some positive vibes today. (Preview) I've learned to deal with chronic pain pretty good for the most part. I do believe that attitude plays a huge part in how I feel physically :) I've been diagnosed with degenerative disc disease, and do see a pain management specialist for steroid injections, which definitely help. I don't do any presc...	Tenderheartsks	5	549	Mar 20, 2008 by Heartbroken
	JenniferN oops!! (Preview) I read some of your other posts.I misunderstood.Those are your moms other kids? your sis and bros? I was thinking they were your kids. I am confused. love,debilyn	debilyn	1	282	Mar 19, 2008 by JenniferN
	Talking doesn't achieve anything with an A! (Preview) Sharing tonight on what it's like after my husband has been gone for 2 months. (I kicked him out) Have allowed him to come over for visits and have had lots of talks when he is sober. But they don't achieve anything... He continues to tell me that he loves me and will wait till I come to my senses!!! Another a...	silverbrumby	7	641	Mar 19, 2008 by debilyn
	A Video for Everyone (Preview) This video was shown to me by my hunny. It's on his boss's myspace page. I was so moved by it, I put it on mine and wanted to share it with you all here. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. blessings Jennifer	JenniferN	1	267	Mar 19, 2008 by debilyn
	Respecting Self (Preview) A newcomer at our meeting last night asked everyone to share "how you all respect yourself?" So I got to thinking about it some more today. Some of the things that came up were: eating right, exercising, asking myself what do I feel and what do I need, making meetings a priority, learning to s...	Jen	11	424	Mar 19, 2008 by maresie
	speechless.....again! (Preview) Hi Friends, Got the call with the info I was somewhat expecting; I just didn't know how it would be delivered. It was my AH, to tell me, in a nutshell, that the divorce needs to be off for now. Even though it is probably what we need to do, he needs to try and save our business so he just doesn't have the time or m...	Loupiness	5	337	Mar 19, 2008 by serendipity
	Kids-who knew??? (Preview) My oldest daughter told me recently (she's 23) and beautiful I may add (bragging I know ) MOM I'm not gonna know to love myself like you loved me, I'm gonna love myself like I saw you love yourself! Made me wish I would have taken better care of myself, explored my interest and made more good friends when...	glad	6	388	Mar 19, 2008 by Jen
	Waiting for Happiness (Preview) I am currently working the steps with the aide of a sponsor. One thing that leapt out off the page for me today in reviewing the steps is how I wait for happiness. I don't know what it is but I fear having happiness in the present moment. I do have some, thankfully largely in the shape of my pets who bring me...	maresie	4	330	Mar 19, 2008 by java
	One Day at A Time (Preview) I've made it through today. Came very close to having a job tomorrow through a temp agency. Who knows, perhaps if I call early enough in the morning, I may get something. We'll see. I've talked to him today a couple of times. And I've talked to my HP ALOT. I started reading "As We Understood". I...	JenniferN	1	404	Mar 19, 2008 by java
	Staying in the light...and fighting again Chronic Apathy (Preview) Thank you. Your responses have been of great help and tell me over and over why I am here. I am here because I have gone through the bad times of living with an alcoholic and through the good times that produced wonderful memories. These memories are what have kept me hoping, and moving forward and when th...	Heartbroken	6	747	Mar 19, 2008 by carosie
	New and Need Some Advice (Preview) I just discovered this forum. My husband is an alcoholic. Lately, it's been getting worse as far as his moods go when he is drinking. He has started to get very verbally angry with me, yelling at me and blaming me for everything that is wrong. How do you begin to leave a relationship and put some distan...	Searching4Answers	11	484	Mar 19, 2008 by Searching4Answers
	Traditions (Preview) ((((((((((Family)))))))), Could someone please post or pm with the Alanon traditions. I am very familiar with the Steps, but know very little (if anything) about the Traditions. Thanks so much. Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty	Karilynn	5	402	Mar 19, 2008 by Karilynn
	An awakening of sorts. (Preview) I took my daughter to a show at the House of Blues this weekend. It was her first concert and it was really great, very wild but fun anyway. For me it was somewhat of an eye opener. I saw a guy sitting with a kid that appeared to be younger than my daughter so I asked if we could join them. We were late gettin...	carolinagirl	8	429	Mar 19, 2008 by maire rua
	I need some hugs (Preview) I am hurting. It has been a difficult weekend. For some reason, Gracie's death was haunting me and I was thinking about the ex. More than thinking, more like feeling like a shoe was about to drop kick me in the head out of nowhere. And sure enough.....I went to church and the whole freekin sermon was about...	serendipity	22	580	Mar 18, 2008 by cookie1971
	Gratitude! (Preview) I feel so grateful these days even though my life is still kinda crazy! I am tired too. My mom is on her way to her vacation for two weeks! I am glad she is getting time away & maybe this time I will miss her. I struggle a lot with my relationship with her but I do love her very much. My gratitude stems f...	Hoot Nanny	1	403	Mar 18, 2008 by Aloha
	"trash" and alanon way? (Preview) Okay this is a share and a direct question - so those that feel they really are familiar with the Alanon "way" please direct me. I am tired of the "trash" ways in our life. Meaning beer cans everywhere, boyfriend's job is with all (dirty) blue collar workers and boss (as recent pos...	glad	9	448	Mar 18, 2008 by Aloha
	BIRTHDAY PARTY (Preview) ((((Family)))) Today was my Mother in Laws birthday. The entire family gathered at her house. As we were driving up my AH made a comment that his alcoholic nephew was there. Many of you may remember the big blowup the 2 of them had a few months ago. It resulted in the police being called to his nephews hous...	cookie1971	9	365	Mar 18, 2008 by maresie
	Is it too late? (Preview) I started to post this in response to Lou, but decided to just put it here. My AH is doing really well right now, and I still get really sad sometimes cause I wonder if its too late for me. I really do love him, but it seems the love is just buried so far down in the mess that I have a hard time seeing it anymore. It...	Jen	7	491	Mar 18, 2008 by Jen
	HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! (Preview) ((((((((((((Family)))))))), To my Irish Alanonuts out there, just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! I know this is usually a day where people use the day to drink extra. But let's celebrate the Irish heritage and enjoy the day for what it is. I am not Irish (Rusian-Fili...	Karilynn	3	268	Mar 18, 2008 by maresie
	trying to stay positive (Preview) He and I talked when he got up and we REALLY need to make sure we communicate!! I did move out. However, we are not broken up. I had a misunderstanding in thinking that he wanted me completely gone from his life. NO! He doesn't even really want me gone from the house, but I told him that this is what we both nee...	JenniferN	2	288	Mar 18, 2008 by maresie
	Chronic Apathy (Preview) Some time ago, ddub posted about Stress, and I found I could relate to every word she wrote. I have lived for the last thirty-three years with Chronic Stress and as a result in 2005 I ended up having a Nervous Breakdown. My doctor tells me that I have Reactive Depression not Clinical Depression, which fo...	Heartbroken	11	2409	Mar 18, 2008 by Diva
	I know this is going to sound horrible. (Preview) As most of you know I have 3 kids and for those of us who are parents of more than one we know that each child has their own personality and we relate differently to each. So here's my dilemma and I know this is horrible but it's true. I am having a really hard time finding the good in my middle child. This is t...	carolinagirl	15	674	Mar 18, 2008 by Peggy7
	WHAT ? (Preview) So I talked w my ex A tonite.He actually thinks hes going to be able to "go away and get himself straight" and come back to me !!!! Like Im a couch or something !!(those of you who have been keeping up w me , understand the couch pun !!) Can you believe that ?? I guess after paying for and going thru...	MIDGET	4	473	Mar 17, 2008 by Tuggboat
	It's done (Preview) 98% of my things are packed and I'll be moving back in with my mother today. It's not because of "her". It's because part of him wants to know what it would be like to be alone. He's never lived alone and he's 37 y/o. He's said this to me about a week ago; he's tired of taking care of other people, pa...	JenniferN	7	453	Mar 17, 2008 by maresie
	Making HP my parent/Thia ia WorkInProgress (Preview) so...I had a thought...I know HP loves me, looks out for me and gives me what I need when I need it. So......why then is it so much easier to focus on what my parents did to me or didn't do for me then it is to focus on how I know God is always with me and gives me what I need. Any thoughts?	seekingserenity	2	531	Mar 17, 2008 by Jerry F
	resisting an urge...... (Preview) I was just going through the caller ID and noticed he deleted her number. WHY? am I being paranoid? am I letting my hormones get the better of me? or is it the unmistakeable gut feeling that something is wrong here? I called my sponsor, no answer. I don't know what to do. I have this urge to call her and find o...	JenniferN	9	430	Mar 17, 2008 by canadianguy
	And so it comes full circle (Preview) My sixteen year old came home drunk this am. He was sleeping over at a friends' house (supposidly). And I heard my AH yelling at him and part of his words were "you betrayed my trust". Hah some kind of bitter satisfaction as I have used those words against him and he has twisted them back at m...	DeadOrAlive	7	465	Mar 17, 2008 by canadianguy
	I've blown it all weekend! (Preview) Friday, BF got some bad news, he reacted like he always does and "made sad puppy dog eyes" saying he would deal with it but of course remaining so "sad and down". I of course reacted to his feelings and wanted to "fix" (control) the situation. Gosh I'm still learnin...	glad	5	629	Mar 17, 2008 by ESH
	and the pendulum swings... (Preview) I have gone from saying way too much, to almost being speechless when I am around my sober husband. He is finally opening his eyes to the wreck our life has become. Long story not as long, he sat me down today and asked about how I was doing financially. Basically, I told him I was working all I could and ga...	Loupiness	7	337	Mar 17, 2008 by carolinagirl
	The obsessive search (Preview) Sadly I have been in the grip of the obsessive search for "evidence" for about a month (ouch!). And really, why? It was 2 weeks ago that my AH again fell prey to his demons. Supposidly a bottom. yeah. I hate this, and haven't done it for years but it is back with a vengence. Honestly I am try...	DeadOrAlive	6	419	Mar 17, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Do ya'll do this? (Preview) When high stress hits me, helping my very loved old dogs in their death, sobbing because I just lost my old man potted pig Walter yesterday, something is horribly heavy but I have to do it. When I ran out to help tucker, there was Walter dieing.He is over 100 pounds.I prayed to Jehovah,please help me, I pi...	debilyn	6	412	Mar 17, 2008 by Heartbroken
	How do we love those that are hard to love? (Preview) Tugg brought up this great question which has been rising from many spots laterly, Carolina Girl, etc. How do we love those that are hard to love? We can choose not to love them or we can choose to love them anyway. Maybe its also about how do you practice unconditional love and acceptance or is it even pos...	Jean4444	7	663	Mar 17, 2008 by Jen
	I'm trying.... (Preview) I really am trying to work this program. I'm trying to detach and not "fix" him this weekend. And so far, I'm doing pretty good, despite the PMS and the uncontrollable urge I've had for the past 45 mins. to scream my head off about the recent phone call from "HER". He's been "d...	JenniferN	1	497	Mar 16, 2008 by Jerry F
	A human being, not a human doing... (Preview) For some time now I have been wrestling with silence. I have been afraid of silence, I have been disappointed by silence, I have thought that I was utterly forgotten and I was not prepared to sit, wait and listen through the silence any longer, for I wanted answers and I wanted them after the count of thr...	Heartbroken	7	525	Mar 16, 2008 by Heartbroken
	just needing a little support (Preview) So I evicted my AH and filed for a divorce.He was full blown,lost his job,laying around drinking all day.Got so drunk he peed on himself while laying on the couch (yuk !!).So he cashes in his stocks and goes to Fl to help his dying Brother. He recieved the divorce papers,and he said he wont fight me on any...	MIDGET	11	687	Mar 16, 2008 by Tuggboat
	A little drained! (Preview) I am a little drained but am hanging in there! Yesterday I went to one of our larger towns that is 60 miles away and my AH was kinda impatient. I needed a pair of black shoes and he got a little frustrated! We walked through the mall to get the shoes. Anyway, he hates when I get shoes, go figure? He figured tha...	Hoot Nanny	3	412	Mar 15, 2008 by cookie1971
	bro in law surg prayers pls (Preview) bro in law needs prayers re open heart by pass surg t u n love n namaste getoverit	getoverit	6	456	Mar 15, 2008 by cookie1971
	UPDATE ON "THE MEETING" (Preview) ((((Family)))) I tried to post a new thread after the"meeting" on Wed. nite, but I was quite ill both Wed nite and Thurs. so I never got a chance to finish it. When I got home from work on Wed. my AH was in a foul mood. I determined that I was not going to mention the meeting, and that if he still wa...	cookie1971	6	483	Mar 15, 2008 by cookie1971
	HAPPY BIRTHDAY ................. (Preview) HAPPY BIRTHDAY Tea!!!!! [youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=yj6cbM-h8xg]	Christy	9	426	Mar 15, 2008 by tea2
	Was feeling wierd (Preview) I finally made steps and am taking care of stressors. Had to put my two very old dogs down a few days ago. Tedirug and Herbert Hudson are no longer in pain and constantly starting fights. I have not slept all night for almost a year. Had to let them out allll the time,plus they woke me up grumbling. So I hav...	debilyn	7	507	Mar 15, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Why do I open my mouth sometimes... (Preview) Ugh. Feeling down right now. Just when I finished my last post here, my AH calls me on my work line. First thing out of his mouth is "I've been trying to call you on your cell but you're not answering!" Sometimes my phone just gets into a dead spot and it won't ring. Sometimes I just don't hea...	Aloha	4	453	Mar 15, 2008 by Tuggboat
	cant get in chat room (Preview) i havent been here in quite some time, but when i clicked on the chat room, it wont load for me. i get the little white square with the red x on the top left corner. does anyone know why that might be happening? obviously, the message board opens for me, but the chat room wont.... thanks in advance! searc...	search41	2	410	Mar 15, 2008 by Maria123
	To forgive the unrepentant... (Preview) "To forgive the unrepentant is like drawing pictures in a pond" (thanks Jennifer) He is sick, the reason I put up with it, danced a dance to try to fix it, turned myself inside out worrying about it, embarrassed myself over and over begging for it to be different was/ is because I "caug...	glad	5	1771	Mar 14, 2008 by Tuggboat
	on death and heaven and God (Preview) I am posting this mainly to document it. The 2 younger ones and I were at dinner. On the placemat were questions to start discussions. What would you do if you were president, if you had 3 wishes, if you could have a wild animal, etc. The last one was if you could go back in time where would you go and why. My l...	serendipity	1	566	Mar 14, 2008 by lin0606
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.