Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I'm on my way home from work yesterday the phone rings I answer it and it's him (to answer your question debilyn, the display is broken on my phone and I never know who it is till I answer...) Anyway, I have found that my tolerance for his behaviors has pretty much disappeared. He starts off the conver...

desperate for help · desperate for help

I have given him chance after chance after chance!!! I am so done with it all! Why do I continue to put up with it? WHy do I continue to allow myself to be so miserable? Why do I keep calling my attorney to finally say, "OK.I'm ready to file for the divorce", but keep hanging up? I think the la...

Sue64 · Sue64

Hi Everyone! I just joined tonight and here's my story. My hubby, who I married last year, is a definite alcholoic. He was diagnosed with diabetes last year, suffers from depression and hypertension. He seemed to be doing ok, adjusting, and swore of drinking (at that point, I didn't think he had a...

kes · kes

My sister the drunk wanted to confront her 13 yr old son about stealing from her. Tommorow is 1st day back at school from holidays in australia, he's booked into counselling there, he's angry at her and does this stuff because of her - but doesn't really know what is swrong with her. Not a good time to conf...

ddub · ddub

I wanted to share a recent experience for me with detachment for my review of what I learned and get more ideas or actual examples of detachment that has worked for you. At first, I understand now, I taught myself detachment so I would just stay out of the way, leave if I could, not react, minimize conv...

roxygirl · roxygirl

My son is a 24 year old alcoholic. He has so much anger and when he expresses it it comes out as ugly RAGE all the time!! What is the rage about? The littlest thing I say sets him off and he just explodes and yells and he is so mean and ugly!! Does anyone experience this behavior and if so how do you deal with...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Well ummm yeah. LOL. He hooked me again and I fell for it. Sheesh, when did I get so easy? My hub called me at work and asked me what the kids and I were doing at 6. I said not much. He asked if we would come down to his work and he would buy the kids dinner. I said sure. I got excited he wanted to see the kids. H...

Tracy · Tracy

Wow Thankyou Tom for suggesting that I google toxic love. When my marriage ended I ran from the pain into this relationship with the A which has lasted for 3 years due to my fear of being a lone and blaming myself for husbands addiction. I know I am not to blame and I don't think I learn't my lesson first tim...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

My 30 year old alcoholic/addict daughter had called late last week to let me know she had court on the 9th, and there was a good chance she'd go back to jail. I don't call her anymore as she usually doesn't have a phone, moves so often I never know where she is, and honestly, we have nothing in common. I didn'...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Each day I find I challenge Heartbroken to stay away by my resolve to stand in the light, as Jerry encouraged me to do.Each day I find that Heartbroken does not break me as I choose to follow my programme and detach from the past and live in the present.Each day I see Heartbroken has been conquered when I fi...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family)))))), Just to let you know I am taking a small break from the board. Everything's ok. I have spent so much time taking care of hubby after his surgery this past year. (He would do the same for me.) I just need to concentrate on a few things. I am in the process of switching doctors to c...

raid3rgirl · raid3rgirl

This is my first post and I just joined a online group yesterday. I have a AH that I have been married to for 19 years. I am frustrated with the amount of money he spends from our account. I exported it today to see the amount on a weekly basis and it sickens me. I ordered the books recommended so I have not...

glad · glad

okay, to be honest I have seen progress and to be honest I am acting like a butt because I want old stuff resolved and I feel down. Today ( right now ) I will go read some of my alanon stuff- try not to focus on if I should leave the relationship or not and try to get to work on time. I want to share with you guys that...

Aloha · Aloha

Yesterday I actually got to watch two different people get caught up on the obsession loop. The glorious thing about it was that I didn't join in - and on top of it, I recognized it for EXACTLY what it was and kind of laughed to myself quietly, thinking... "Oooooh. So THAT's what I must look like wh...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Hi guys, I am a few weeks away from returning to the general vicinity of where my AH lives. We will not be living together (thank god) but we will be within closer proximity. I am having a wide range of responses, as you can imagine. Just kinda riding it out, not reacting (or acting in any way), just observi...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all I am really happy I found this site. I have been attending meetings since Nov this programme has helped me more than I can say. I am still having probs picking up the phone so this site is a god send to me. Well heres my story. Been with my current partner for three years was with a compulsive gamble...

raid3rgirl · raid3rgirl

Hi there, I am new to the group and would like to share my story. I have been married for 19 years and with my husband for 23 years. We met when I was 14 and he was 15. We had our first child at the age of 17 and it has not been easy. He has always drunk beer and when our 3 kids were younger I remember he drank mor...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Laugh out loud!! Had a busy day yesterday from morning after the Super Saturday AFG meeting thru some business then over to some service work at the assembly and then home. I called my wife and asked about the plans my Son and his wife had about kite flying. It was still on. I haven't flown a kite sinc...

HopeinVA · HopeinVA

I think tonight was that "aha" moment for me. After so many crappy things that have happened over the past year with my A husband I think this probably made me finally face reality. The reality that I will probably be a single mom. Never in a million year would I have thought that I would be i...

DeadOrAlive · DeadOrAlive

First a thank you to all who responded to my post about my feelings about my teen. When I shared them with my AH (last night, big mistake) he proceded to berate me, telling me I had "used" my son as an "asexual partner". I hate him. Why is he so mean to me? Did I use my son or did I devot...

glad · glad

Ugggguh!! After staying up late last night we were looking forward to sleep,new neighbors just moved in yesturday and evidently have a big dog, that likes to bark, all the time. Woke us up last night. Had a very nice breakfast with our / woops my adult daugher, did a few little things around the house an...

ally · ally

((((((((((((Guys))))))))))) Found this video, didn't know she had made this song, Is she and recovering A??? Anyone know...I think shes Fab!!! And I don't know This could break my heart or save me Nothing's real Until you let go complet...

sadako · sadako

my A. boyfriend is leaving me. or then again, he's not. i am so confused!!! he's always used "i'm leaving" more as a communication technique rather than a real statement of ending the relationship. problems with intimacy and commitment, he's said. for all the years we've been together he...

wishing13 · wishing13

When I first met my Husband, I looked into his eyes and knew that I wasnt supposed to be anywhere but right here. I felt that way for a long time, like our love, and our love alone could conquer anything. Slowly his drinking became heavier (or that I knew of anyway), I began to grow and realize what was reall...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Sunday night's meeting topics were Facing Reality, Fantasy/Illusion, and Owning our choices. Here is my share :) I was flipping through the index of c2c (Courage to Change) last week trying to think of topics to offer to the group. And the first two jumped right out at me. The last one my wonderf...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, I hate that I am so scared, even though I know much of my fear is based on prediction and what could/will be, not fact. Had the perfect office manager, more than just experience and skill, she had been married to an addict/a. She refused to be an enabler for my AH. He made her crazy and she could...

Just For Now · Just For Now

I was talking to my AH about his daughter attending birthday/slumber party. He mentioned that his daughter began the topic conversation of "pot" that one of the other children had said the parents were doing at the party. I was completely appaulled!!!! I have a severe NO TOLERANCE for d...

roxymom · roxymom

Hi all. I am so grateful to have found this forum. I've recently come to the realization that my husband is a functioning alcoholic. In recent years, i have told myself, "he drinks too much" but because he never became abusive, never missed work, etc, I didn't think that could classify hi...

sdoody00 · sdoody00

I have a concern about balancing my need for distance from my AH and my 3 years olds need to see his father. I have mandated that he can only see our son at my house and he must be clean and sober when he does come. And he did conform for a while, but arrived at my house this last time *high* Guess my son will be...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Hmm... I feel pretty good today. I am struggling now with my mom. She just got home on Tuesday(4/1/) I really don't want her around me right now but she is my mom and I love her. She is also a member of Alanon as I have mentioned before. I just need to spend less time with her because when I am around her I alm...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Ok here's my situation... I've known this man, not my A (actually he's not an A at all), I've known him for about 17 years...over half of my life...he and I've been in and out of relationships with each other the entire time we've known each other. He IS my best friend and I'm his. My problem is this: he want...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So now my niece is a 21 year old orphan! :( My MIL behaved very inappropriately to her and she had no adult support at all, sux to be 21 and the only adult in a room of much older people. But I digress, I was upset about something she had said to her and she said no, it's ok, when I had to work on that crew that pi...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

You will never comprehend this mystical being Life isn't always a fairy tale Life isn't all about fame There are those that cry out in pain There are things that are difficult to explain She seemed to be free,yet her heart told a different story that you can't see She is trapped within,suffocating hers...

glad · glad

Last night I went to a sporting event (mortor cycle race) with the A father of my A Bf of 5 years (spouse, we are more committed than some marreid couples I know) anyway, I am very sad about the neglectful, shameful, horrible things that the father continues to justify with crazy stories. Like feeding m...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Dear (((((((((((family)))))))))))))))))). Today I am grateful for the sunshine and immediately thought about all the beautiful things that have been happening to me since I started on this journey. Today I looked at my little home and I am grateful that I can come and go in safety. Today I am g...

DeadOrAlive · DeadOrAlive

Why I hate weekends now: My son (I realized with a shock) is now closer to 17 than 16! I have always done things with him on the weekends and now, well, he wants to be with his friends or on the computor talking to them. I can't stand being around my AH and used to also distract myself with work from my job, w...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Finally after many years of raising two daughters by myself, getting college classes in here and there where I could, today I took a campus tour of Hutchinson Community College and visited with the director of the Registered Health Information Technologist program. I start classes June 2, and ever...

grizmom · grizmom

My husband, who is a ward of the DOC in a special program for DUI offenders, was due to come home 4/24 and the DOC has decided to keep him another month. (that is actually good news to me!) Saturday morning I woke up with a fever of 104.6 and had to be treated for dehydration. Tested positive for the influ...

wishing13 · wishing13

Hello, this is my first experience with Al-anon. I have been urged to go by several people, but to be honest my first thought was, I dont have anymore time to spend on the topic of "drinking". I have been so frusterated, hurt, angry, and most of all resentfull towards my Husband. We have been t...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))))))) I have a friend who has a lump on his side. He is awaiting test results, and is feeling very anxious and fragile. Could you all please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.. Thank You His name is Jon.... Your crazy Allygirl xx

Prayforme · Prayforme

Hey all, My life is constantly changing. Long story husb addicted in and out of rehabs now told he cant come home. Drove him to rescue mission and 6 days out now calls and says hes not being fed "like a concentration camp" wanted me to pick him up. I know he has reached bottom, still love him (25 y...

Just For Now · Just For Now

Why is it that all the big and nasties come out in verbal argument when you really don't mean for it to? Something like out of a novel, where you turn the page and the evil 'deed' pops out in the book. My AH has a severe control issue...and has throughout our entire relationship. And I am not placing the co...

Suzannah · Suzannah

The disease claims another. So tragic. He has gone. Thank you everyone for your support and prayers. So my daughter has lost her Grandpa "Welly"; he died peacefully. Giving thanks for the wonderful nursing staff who made his passing as comfortable as they could. Sad, f...

Lisa444 · Lisa444

I'm so discouraged. I've been in Alanon 2 years. I do everything I'm supposed to - regular meetings (3 times/week), have a sponsor, work the steps (I'm on #8 - my sponsor said I don't have to have an HP to keep going, only willingness to believe), make calls, take service positions, read every book rec...

tea2 · tea2

Happy Anniversary Karilynn & Hubby and Happy Birthday Piper's Kitty!

Karilynn · Karilynn

For some reason when I replied to GG's post they said it was too long! But of course I wanted to reply as I'm mouthy! ((((((((GG)))))), The list is too long but here are my favorites: 1. None of this is my fault. Goes back to the 3Cs. 2. Detaching from the A doesn't mean that you stop loving the person. 3. An a...

ESH · ESH

I need a 12-step program for dealing with some of the cruel people that I work with. It is so stressful to feel "under attack" by some of these people. My first reaction is a counter-attack (I lose my cool) and fight back. Then I feel horrible for stooping to their level. I need so badly to a...

ally · ally

(((((((((((Guys)))))))))) A few days ago i took a huge gamble in putting my life story on show for everyone to see. I had considered this very carefully, i would be putting my family in the light, should i do that, did i have the right to do that. As usual i followed my gut instinct and went along wi...

ally · ally

I was born in Glasgow, Scotland in April 1971. I was raised with my parents and one older sister, I am four years younger. We were like any other family in Glasgow at that time, we all had our own troubles, behind closed doors. I like to use the phrase Dysfunctional families. Life was normal for me I think,...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, I had something come up and I think I will be 30-40 minutes late for tonight's meeting. Just wanted to get the word out. See you all later tonight. Yours in recovery, Mandy

ddub · ddub

I had forgot and piggy backed this question onto Norwood's post about resentments are a choice too - how true the more I think about it. However, showing lower levels today of confidence, assertiveness and not worrying... (other days I do better & I am working on this) how do you deal with the &qu...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((((Family)))))))), A very good morning to you all. Just wanted to update you all. I am feeling much better today. I decided to stay home yesterday for me, not for hubby. I called work and told them that I was feeling under the weather. So I vegged, watched my favorite West Wing Series (hey...

debilyn · debilyn

ver are you ma dear friend? How are you and whatcha thinken bout? hoping you are on your path,love,debilyn

Aloha · Aloha

Jeez this day has been full of hard knocks. Didn't sleep well last night, so woke up on the tired side as it was, but didn't feel bad about myself. Called my sponsor and that's when I think it all started. That dang reminder "so, when are you going to get to an open AA meeting this week?" Do...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Hard to believe but almost a year is upon us since the horrific tragedy at VTech. As I was scanning the message boards, I was recalling the reassurance you all gave me as I tried to comfort my friend. I haven't heard from her, I can't recall if she graduated, but God knows that the campus is probably geari...

norwood · norwood

I found the secret (the one that works for me) to letting go of resentments. It is in truly owning my choices. When I have resented others it always came with a "but", or "I was forced to......", or "they did.......", etc. When I own my choices, there are no "bu...

HopeinVA · HopeinVA

I have a few questions. Please forgive me as I am still new to all of this. First, I am a little confused about the program. I have read about the 12 steps and the "family" disease. I have to be honest though, when I first read that we go through the 12 steps I was sort of confused because as I re...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

There's this absolutely gorgeous drug rep that comes to my work every Wednesday and all the girls here are gaga over him. I have gotten little tidbits of information about him and heard everyone going on about him and kept saying call me when he comes next, introduce me, set me up!!! He's tall, same...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I have mentioned before that I believe my ah's relationship with his g/f is an addiction, particularly now that he is not drinking/using. I came across a cell phone bill with 10 solid pages of text messaging. He has messages going back and forth all day long. According to our office manager, (or should...

glad · glad

you wrote: How can anyone love and accept others until they can truely love and accept themselves? hmmm is that why he can say certain things and then just appear to sweep them under the rug? High expectations with no room for failure/ not seeing alot of love and acceptance growing up/ seeing lots and...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Why can't he just leave me alone? (Preview) So I'm on my way home from work yesterday the phone rings I answer it and it's him (to answer your question debilyn, the display is broken on my phone and I never know who it is till I answer...) Anyway, I have found that my tolerance for his behaviors has pretty much disappeared. He starts off the conver...	carolinagirl	5	743	Apr 10, 2008 by Mandy123
	I am so done with A!!! (Preview) I have given him chance after chance after chance!!! I am so done with it all! Why do I continue to put up with it? WHy do I continue to allow myself to be so miserable? Why do I keep calling my attorney to finally say, "OK.I'm ready to file for the divorce", but keep hanging up? I think the la...	desperate for help	7	639	Apr 10, 2008 by BooBoo313
	Hi, I'm new, can use some advice (Preview) Hi Everyone! I just joined tonight and here's my story. My hubby, who I married last year, is a definite alcholoic. He was diagnosed with diabetes last year, suffers from depression and hypertension. He seemed to be doing ok, adjusting, and swore of drinking (at that point, I didn't think he had a...	Sue64	9	745	Apr 9, 2008 by Sue64
	This is hell, stopped sis attacking son, confronted about her drinking, now I'm the devil (Preview) My sister the drunk wanted to confront her 13 yr old son about stealing from her. Tommorow is 1st day back at school from holidays in australia, he's booked into counselling there, he's angry at her and does this stuff because of her - but doesn't really know what is swrong with her. Not a good time to conf...	kes	5	715	Apr 9, 2008 by bettyb
	detachment baby steps (Preview) I wanted to share a recent experience for me with detachment for my review of what I learned and get more ideas or actual examples of detachment that has worked for you. At first, I understand now, I taught myself detachment so I would just stay out of the way, leave if I could, not react, minimize conv...	ddub	2	413	Apr 9, 2008 by Aloha
	WHY SO MUCH RAGE? (Preview) My son is a 24 year old alcoholic. He has so much anger and when he expresses it it comes out as ugly RAGE all the time!! What is the rage about? The littlest thing I say sets him off and he just explodes and yells and he is so mean and ugly!! Does anyone experience this behavior and if so how do you deal with...	roxygirl	7	474	Apr 9, 2008 by Aloha
	Fast Food, Boundaries, and Self-Care strange mix huh? (Preview) Hi all, Well ummm yeah. LOL. He hooked me again and I fell for it. Sheesh, when did I get so easy? My hub called me at work and asked me what the kids and I were doing at 6. I said not much. He asked if we would come down to his work and he would buy the kids dinner. I said sure. I got excited he wanted to see the kids. H...	Mandy123	5	630	Apr 9, 2008 by maresie
	Toxix love (Preview) Wow Thankyou Tom for suggesting that I google toxic love. When my marriage ended I ran from the pain into this relationship with the A which has lasted for 3 years due to my fear of being a lone and blaming myself for husbands addiction. I know I am not to blame and I don't think I learn't my lesson first tim...	Tracy	1	445	Apr 9, 2008 by maresie
	Looks like the oldest daughter is back in jail... (Preview) My 30 year old alcoholic/addict daughter had called late last week to let me know she had court on the 9th, and there was a good chance she'd go back to jail. I don't call her anymore as she usually doesn't have a phone, moves so often I never know where she is, and honestly, we have nothing in common. I didn'...	Tenderheartsks	3	398	Apr 9, 2008 by Gailey
	Challenging HEARTBROKEN (Preview) Each day I find I challenge Heartbroken to stay away by my resolve to stand in the light, as Jerry encouraged me to do.Each day I find that Heartbroken does not break me as I choose to follow my programme and detach from the past and live in the present.Each day I see Heartbroken has been conquered when I fi...	Suzannah	5	572	Apr 9, 2008 by cookie1971
	Taking a break (Preview) (((((((Family)))))), Just to let you know I am taking a small break from the board. Everything's ok. I have spent so much time taking care of hubby after his surgery this past year. (He would do the same for me.) I just need to concentrate on a few things. I am in the process of switching doctors to c...	Karilynn	5	419	Apr 8, 2008 by cookie1971
	How Do I handle money situation (Preview) This is my first post and I just joined a online group yesterday. I have a AH that I have been married to for 19 years. I am frustrated with the amount of money he spends from our account. I exported it today to see the amount on a weekly basis and it sickens me. I ordered the books recommended so I have not...	raid3rgirl	10	693	Apr 8, 2008 by debilyn
	Would greatly appreciate support = feels useless! (Preview) okay, to be honest I have seen progress and to be honest I am acting like a butt because I want old stuff resolved and I feel down. Today ( right now ) I will go read some of my alanon stuff- try not to focus on if I should leave the relationship or not and try to get to work on time. I want to share with you guys that...	glad	3	631	Apr 8, 2008 by Jerry F
	Observing obsession in action. (Preview) Yesterday I actually got to watch two different people get caught up on the obsession loop. The glorious thing about it was that I didn't join in - and on top of it, I recognized it for EXACTLY what it was and kind of laughed to myself quietly, thinking... "Oooooh. So THAT's what I must look like wh...	Aloha	6	1203	Apr 8, 2008 by Aloha
	Set a boundary: watching it work (Preview) Hi guys, I am a few weeks away from returning to the general vicinity of where my AH lives. We will not be living together (thank god) but we will be within closer proximity. I am having a wide range of responses, as you can imagine. Just kinda riding it out, not reacting (or acting in any way), just observi...	Jean4444	5	459	Apr 8, 2008 by Aloha
	feel like giving up (Preview) Hi all I am really happy I found this site. I have been attending meetings since Nov this programme has helped me more than I can say. I am still having probs picking up the phone so this site is a god send to me. Well heres my story. Been with my current partner for three years was with a compulsive gamble...	Tracy	6	729	Apr 8, 2008 by Tracy
	New Kid on the block (Preview) Hi there, I am new to the group and would like to share my story. I have been married for 19 years and with my husband for 23 years. We met when I was 14 and he was 15. We had our first child at the age of 17 and it has not been easy. He has always drunk beer and when our 3 kids were younger I remember he drank mor...	raid3rgirl	1	474	Apr 8, 2008 by maresie
	It's okay not to get the dragon one. (Preview) Laugh out loud!! Had a busy day yesterday from morning after the Super Saturday AFG meeting thru some business then over to some service work at the assembly and then home. I called my wife and asked about the plans my Son and his wife had about kite flying. It was still on. I haven't flown a kite sinc...	Jerry F	11	909	Apr 8, 2008 by Karilynn
	He stood up his son tonight! (Preview) I think tonight was that "aha" moment for me. After so many crappy things that have happened over the past year with my A husband I think this probably made me finally face reality. The reality that I will probably be a single mom. Never in a million year would I have thought that I would be i...	HopeinVA	4	576	Apr 8, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Mean, mean, mean (Preview) First a thank you to all who responded to my post about my feelings about my teen. When I shared them with my AH (last night, big mistake) he proceded to berate me, telling me I had "used" my son as an "asexual partner". I hate him. Why is he so mean to me? Did I use my son or did I devot...	DeadOrAlive	3	423	Apr 8, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Not an alaonon thing but pissing me off (and I don't talk like that generally) (Preview) Ugggguh!! After staying up late last night we were looking forward to sleep,new neighbors just moved in yesturday and evidently have a big dog, that likes to bark, all the time. Woke us up last night. Had a very nice breakfast with our / woops my adult daugher, did a few little things around the house an...	glad	11	1530	Apr 8, 2008 by glad
	KELLY CLARKSON...... SOBER (Preview) ((((((((((((Guys))))))))))) Found this video, didn't know she had made this song, Is she and recovering A??? Anyone know...I think shes Fab!!! And I don't know This could break my heart or save me Nothing's real Until you let go complet...	ally	4	458	Apr 8, 2008 by Predominate
	he's leaving, he's not leaving, etc. (Preview) my A. boyfriend is leaving me. or then again, he's not. i am so confused!!! he's always used "i'm leaving" more as a communication technique rather than a real statement of ending the relationship. problems with intimacy and commitment, he's said. for all the years we've been together he...	sadako	8	593	Apr 8, 2008 by glad
	Does Love grow back? (Preview) When I first met my Husband, I looked into his eyes and knew that I wasnt supposed to be anywhere but right here. I felt that way for a long time, like our love, and our love alone could conquer anything. Slowly his drinking became heavier (or that I knew of anyway), I began to grow and realize what was reall...	wishing13	7	1081	Apr 7, 2008 by ddub
	Facing Reality, Fantasy/Illusion, and Owning our choices (Preview) Hi all, Sunday night's meeting topics were Facing Reality, Fantasy/Illusion, and Owning our choices. Here is my share :) I was flipping through the index of c2c (Courage to Change) last week trying to think of topics to offer to the group. And the first two jumped right out at me. The last one my wonderf...	Mandy123	3	1112	Apr 7, 2008 by Jean4444
	Now what? (Preview) Hi Friends, I hate that I am so scared, even though I know much of my fear is based on prediction and what could/will be, not fact. Had the perfect office manager, more than just experience and skill, she had been married to an addict/a. She refused to be an enabler for my AH. He made her crazy and she could...	Loupiness	9	574	Apr 7, 2008 by maresie
	Say what?!? (Preview) I was talking to my AH about his daughter attending birthday/slumber party. He mentioned that his daughter began the topic conversation of "pot" that one of the other children had said the parents were doing at the party. I was completely appaulled!!!! I have a severe NO TOLERANCE for d...	Just For Now	7	515	Apr 7, 2008 by round3
	New here - had a bit of an epiphany today (Preview) Hi all. I am so grateful to have found this forum. I've recently come to the realization that my husband is a functioning alcoholic. In recent years, i have told myself, "he drinks too much" but because he never became abusive, never missed work, etc, I didn't think that could classify hi...	roxymom	4	622	Apr 7, 2008 by maresie
	Son Missing AH - What to do (Preview) I have a concern about balancing my need for distance from my AH and my 3 years olds need to see his father. I have mandated that he can only see our son at my house and he must be clean and sober when he does come. And he did conform for a while, but arrived at my house this last time high Guess my son will be...	sdoody00	9	748	Apr 7, 2008 by lin0606
	What can I say? (Preview) Hmm... I feel pretty good today. I am struggling now with my mom. She just got home on Tuesday(4/1/) I really don't want her around me right now but she is my mom and I love her. She is also a member of Alanon as I have mentioned before. I just need to spend less time with her because when I am around her I alm...	Hoot Nanny	2	400	Apr 7, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Relationship ESH needed please (Preview) Ok here's my situation... I've known this man, not my A (actually he's not an A at all), I've known him for about 17 years...over half of my life...he and I've been in and out of relationships with each other the entire time we've known each other. He IS my best friend and I'm his. My problem is this: he want...	JenniferN	9	622	Apr 7, 2008 by maresie
	Sister in law died last night at 50 (Preview) So now my niece is a 21 year old orphan! :( My MIL behaved very inappropriately to her and she had no adult support at all, sux to be 21 and the only adult in a room of much older people. But I digress, I was upset about something she had said to her and she said no, it's ok, when I had to work on that crew that pi...	carolinagirl	12	679	Apr 7, 2008 by Gailey
	You will never comprehend this mystical being(my poem) (Preview) You will never comprehend this mystical being Life isn't always a fairy tale Life isn't all about fame There are those that cry out in pain There are things that are difficult to explain She seemed to be free,yet her heart told a different story that you can't see She is trapped within,suffocating hers...	Lauren ashley	3	552	Apr 7, 2008 by sadako
	Generational drunkeness!! Wow! (Preview) Last night I went to a sporting event (mortor cycle race) with the A father of my A Bf of 5 years (spouse, we are more committed than some marreid couples I know) anyway, I am very sad about the neglectful, shameful, horrible things that the father continues to justify with crazy stories. Like feeding m...	glad	4	581	Apr 7, 2008 by Jerry F
	A NEW DAY, A NEW SONG... (Preview) Dear (((((((((((family)))))))))))))))))). Today I am grateful for the sunshine and immediately thought about all the beautiful things that have been happening to me since I started on this journey. Today I looked at my little home and I am grateful that I can come and go in safety. Today I am g...	Suzannah	4	667	Apr 7, 2008 by Mandy123
	Figured something out (Preview) Why I hate weekends now: My son (I realized with a shock) is now closer to 17 than 16! I have always done things with him on the weekends and now, well, he wants to be with his friends or on the computor talking to them. I can't stand being around my AH and used to also distract myself with work from my job, w...	DeadOrAlive	7	422	Apr 7, 2008 by Mandy123
	What a day! (Preview) Finally after many years of raising two daughters by myself, getting college classes in here and there where I could, today I took a campus tour of Hutchinson Community College and visited with the director of the Registered Health Information Technologist program. I start classes June 2, and ever...	Tenderheartsks	6	532	Apr 6, 2008 by Suzannah
	I'm a wreck! (Preview) My husband, who is a ward of the DOC in a special program for DUI offenders, was due to come home 4/24 and the DOC has decided to keep him another month. (that is actually good news to me!) Saturday morning I woke up with a fever of 104.6 and had to be treated for dehydration. Tested positive for the influ...	grizmom	11	542	Apr 6, 2008 by Suzannah
	Feeling so defeated.... (Preview) Hello, this is my first experience with Al-anon. I have been urged to go by several people, but to be honest my first thought was, I dont have anymore time to spend on the topic of "drinking". I have been so frusterated, hurt, angry, and most of all resentfull towards my Husband. We have been t...	wishing13	11	564	Apr 6, 2008 by Karilynn
	PRAYERS NEEDED GUYS.....PLEASE (Preview) ((((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))))))) I have a friend who has a lump on his side. He is awaiting test results, and is feeling very anxious and fragile. Could you all please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.. Thank You His name is Jon.... Your crazy Allygirl xx	ally	7	469	Apr 6, 2008 by cookie1971
	Need your wisdom (Preview) Hey all, My life is constantly changing. Long story husb addicted in and out of rehabs now told he cant come home. Drove him to rescue mission and 6 days out now calls and says hes not being fed "like a concentration camp" wanted me to pick him up. I know he has reached bottom, still love him (25 y...	Prayforme	5	384	Apr 6, 2008 by cookie1971
	Big and Nasties (Preview) Why is it that all the big and nasties come out in verbal argument when you really don't mean for it to? Something like out of a novel, where you turn the page and the evil 'deed' pops out in the book. My AH has a severe control issue...and has throughout our entire relationship. And I am not placing the co...	Just For Now	5	590	Apr 5, 2008 by Loupiness
	ANOTHER ONE PASSES ON - (Preview) The disease claims another. So tragic. He has gone. Thank you everyone for your support and prayers. So my daughter has lost her Grandpa "Welly"; he died peacefully. Giving thanks for the wonderful nursing staff who made his passing as comfortable as they could. Sad, f...	Suzannah	9	622	Apr 5, 2008 by Just For Now
	Two Years of Alanon and still no HP (Preview) I'm so discouraged. I've been in Alanon 2 years. I do everything I'm supposed to - regular meetings (3 times/week), have a sponsor, work the steps (I'm on #8 - my sponsor said I don't have to have an HP to keep going, only willingness to believe), make calls, take service positions, read every book rec...	Lisa444	14	904	Apr 5, 2008 by Just For Now
	((( Karilynn and Piper's Kitty ))) (Preview) Happy Anniversary Karilynn & Hubby and Happy Birthday Piper's Kitty!	tea2	12	792	Apr 5, 2008 by Karilynn
	Reply to GG's post. (Preview) For some reason when I replied to GG's post they said it was too long! But of course I wanted to reply as I'm mouthy! ((((((((GG)))))), The list is too long but here are my favorites: 1. None of this is my fault. Goes back to the 3Cs. 2. Detaching from the A doesn't mean that you stop loving the person. 3. An a...	Karilynn	5	582	Apr 5, 2008 by tea2
	Cruel people (Preview) I need a 12-step program for dealing with some of the cruel people that I work with. It is so stressful to feel "under attack" by some of these people. My first reaction is a counter-attack (I lose my cool) and fight back. Then I feel horrible for stooping to their level. I need so badly to a...	ESH	7	612	Apr 5, 2008 by Jean4444
	WHAT A FEELING.. (Preview) (((((((((((Guys)))))))))) A few days ago i took a huge gamble in putting my life story on show for everyone to see. I had considered this very carefully, i would be putting my family in the light, should i do that, did i have the right to do that. As usual i followed my gut instinct and went along wi...	ally	1	361	Apr 5, 2008 by Suzannah
	MY STORY........ALLYGIRL... (Preview) I was born in Glasgow, Scotland in April 1971. I was raised with my parents and one older sister, I am four years younger. We were like any other family in Glasgow at that time, we all had our own troubles, behind closed doors. I like to use the phrase Dysfunctional families. Life was normal for me I think,...	ally	5	500	Apr 5, 2008 by Jen
	Tonight's meeting (Preview) Hi all, I had something come up and I think I will be 30-40 minutes late for tonight's meeting. Just wanted to get the word out. See you all later tonight. Yours in recovery, Mandy	Mandy123	0	316	Apr 5, 2008 by Mandy123
	resentments are a choice but.... (Preview) I had forgot and piggy backed this question onto Norwood's post about resentments are a choice too - how true the more I think about it. However, showing lower levels today of confidence, assertiveness and not worrying... (other days I do better & I am working on this) how do you deal with the &qu...	ddub	4	619	Apr 5, 2008 by ddub
	A new day. (Preview) (((((((((((Family)))))))), A very good morning to you all. Just wanted to update you all. I am feeling much better today. I decided to stay home yesterday for me, not for hubby. I called work and told them that I was feeling under the weather. So I vegged, watched my favorite West Wing Series (hey...	Karilynn	10	429	Apr 5, 2008 by Andrea12
	Suzannah dahling (Preview) ver are you ma dear friend? How are you and whatcha thinken bout? hoping you are on your path,love,debilyn	debilyn	1	354	Apr 5, 2008 by Suzannah
	Resentful at having to see my defaults! (Preview) Jeez this day has been full of hard knocks. Didn't sleep well last night, so woke up on the tired side as it was, but didn't feel bad about myself. Called my sponsor and that's when I think it all started. That dang reminder "so, when are you going to get to an open AA meeting this week?" Do...	Aloha	2	792	Apr 5, 2008 by Jen
	anniversary of VTech shootings (Preview) Hard to believe but almost a year is upon us since the horrific tragedy at VTech. As I was scanning the message boards, I was recalling the reassurance you all gave me as I tried to comfort my friend. I haven't heard from her, I can't recall if she graduated, but God knows that the campus is probably geari...	Tiger2006	3	569	Apr 4, 2008 by cookie1971
	letting go of resentments (Preview) I found the secret (the one that works for me) to letting go of resentments. It is in truly owning my choices. When I have resented others it always came with a "but", or "I was forced to......", or "they did.......", etc. When I own my choices, there are no "bu...	norwood	3	643	Apr 4, 2008 by cookie1971
	Confusion, blame, excuses, help!! (Preview) I have a few questions. Please forgive me as I am still new to all of this. First, I am a little confused about the program. I have read about the 12 steps and the "family" disease. I have to be honest though, when I first read that we go through the 12 steps I was sort of confused because as I re...	HopeinVA	1	651	Apr 4, 2008 by Jen
	On a positive note! (Preview) There's this absolutely gorgeous drug rep that comes to my work every Wednesday and all the girls here are gaga over him. I have gotten little tidbits of information about him and heard everyone going on about him and kept saying call me when he comes next, introduce me, set me up!!! He's tall, same...	carolinagirl	11	582	Apr 4, 2008 by Jen
	Would this be bad? (Preview) I have mentioned before that I believe my ah's relationship with his g/f is an addiction, particularly now that he is not drinking/using. I came across a cell phone bill with 10 solid pages of text messaging. He has messages going back and forth all day long. According to our office manager, (or should...	Loupiness	10	711	Apr 4, 2008 by ddub
	Thanks ddub! Re:why is he so mean? (Preview) you wrote: How can anyone love and accept others until they can truely love and accept themselves? hmmm is that why he can say certain things and then just appear to sweep them under the rug? High expectations with no room for failure/ not seeing alot of love and acceptance growing up/ seeing lots and...	glad	2	439	Apr 4, 2008 by ddub
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.