Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

amybear · amybear

Well... I just joined this forum last week and got some really great advice and words of encouragement... I just need to vent... Haven't had a chance yet to get to f2f meeting but found one close to home that also does an AA meeting, in case my A decides he wants to go... he just goes back and forth... i nee...

omajoy · omajoy

My mother's day was exactly as I imagined it last week when I posted. I was alone all day. No grandchild was here to see me; his mother saw to that, obviously expressing her anger with me from a phone call gone bad Friday morning. Said call to scream about my son to me and his neglect to do something she had...

paulaque · paulaque

Hello all, I joined before then lost my log in details. I was Paula Q before. Now get this-I searched for the topic I started as Paula Q to see if anyone else had replied since and I couldn't believe it when I saw the date it was posted-4 sept 2006!!! Nearly 2 years ago and I don't feel I've moved on at all. S...

debilyn · debilyn

I am sure many know or have heard of broken heart syndrome. You know, the mom who never gets over the loss of a child,or a husband who's wife dies etc Could face that this life will always be a struggle of working on keeping on.One foot in front of the other,giving it all to hp, having complete faith, being g...

cara33 · cara33

Hi everyone Quick history Son has been on opiates for over 2 years He is in rehab.... one week on Tuesday night He wanted to come home today, (after only 5 days) I told him if he came home he would not be coming here and that he needed more than 5 days. He eventually agreed to stay longer. I dont want t...

round3 · round3

As many of you know - my A and I are considering (planning?) to try again - which will mean his move back to the states. Back here to me. Everyone's got an opinion on that - and believe me - there's nothing that I haven't thought of. Nothing. All that being said - I'll get to my point. Last night we were onl...

CJ098 · CJ098

Hi everyone, I asked my AH to move out and he did last Saturday. It's been stress free for a week, and I'm a lot happier, but also somewhat confused because I'm sad but happy at the same time. I also still worry about him, but I know in my heart he and I will be fine and go on our separate paths. We have no chil...

bev · bev

my so called SAH slipped twice.first time was in march while i was up in ny for the birth of my 3rd grandbaby,he drugged and drank over 3000.00$while i was gone for 18 days.the second time was just 2 weeks ago when i went back up to ny to move my daughter and son in law and 3 grandbabies back here to florida{th...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Thanks to those who responded to my post. I had an OK day with my mom. We went to lunch and I treated her. She seemed to have a pretty nice day! I struggled as usual but made it through. A lady at the checkout at the grocery store wished me a happy MD but I said nothing. I was waiting for something to happen y...

meagain · meagain

I have been devorced 27 yrs and my ExA is still causing problem between me and my 3 adult sons. Does it ever help tp just phone him and really tell him off!! My DH said that will make things soooo much worse. I want to "blackmail" him and say stay out of my life with my sons or I will tell them about a...

Suzannah · Suzannah

...when it comes to moving on in the steps, I realise that there is alot of stuff that I have now dealt with and brought to the fore in my inventory, however I have come across a bit of a stumbling block when it comes to putting Step 5 into practice with one or two people. If I cannot put things right with the pe...

JohnL · JohnL

Hello all....I'm brand new to this site. My brother, age 51, has been in the hospital for almost three weeks now. We were worried when we couldn't contact him and had a friend of his go by my brother's apartment. They gained entry and found him on the floor completely delusional. He was immediately tak...

ddub · ddub

"What greater treasures can you have than faith and courage and love? All these are stolen from you by doubt and fear and resentment. Face each day with peace and hope." Today I want to be more active, do the first thing first, eat 3 meals Read some al anon literature but not over study or dwell...

z28mama8 · z28mama8

Hi I'm new to this site, and I need some help maybe guideness or something. ok lets start way back in the day, my mother was a server alcoholic and at the age of 10 I moved with my father because her drinking would cause her to become mean and just unruly. any way I stayed here in Illinois and my mom moved to Mi...

barbie · barbie

My husband and I started a drug and alcohol prevention program at our church check out the pledge that the young people made to not use drugs or alcohol. I am so very proud of them. We followed up the video shoot weekly 1 hour meetings with the young people to discuss drugs, peer pressure and anything els...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

(((((Family)))) A very Happy Mothers day to all the mothers out there. Whether you are a mother to children or pets or both like I am. May you all have a blessed Mothers Day!! Love, Claudia

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am still struggling with MD! I am not very happy this time of year anymore! I have two mothers to celebrate with and not myself. I have never had children and regret it very much. I have wanted children but know that I shouldn't. It is a very tough decision I had to make, too. I will make it through, I k...

ddub · ddub

"More than we can imagine, good days are ours for the asking." I have been frustrated with stressed kids over failing grades and missing school, but today they are camping with scouts so all three of us can have a break from the pressure. My sleep has been poor and many naps to be rested for the...

norwood · norwood

Spiritual growth takes place within us, and it needs an environment completely free of any ill will.

krazykatlady · krazykatlady

I'm new here and new to any addiction board. I'm here to get some advice on dealing with my brother. My brother is 33 and is an alcoholic in denial. We haven't actually had a major talk about his drinking but I'm wondering if we should. He actually wrecked his truck on Jan. 5 of this year and thank God he didn...

RLC · RLC

Hello Everyone, I was a member of MIP for 3 wks . Last week I changed my name because my full name appeared on my post. With the help of jerry F, and David62 I was able to get that corrected. And, thanks again to Jerry,and David for helping. Anyway, that is not what I wanted to talk about today. I went to our g...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hello Family I just spent the bank holiday weekend with my daughter and her family, and don't get me wrong it was one of the best times I have ever spent with her and the children. I give thanks for that, it was a first. Now I am back home, and I have been to my weekly hospital PMP session and I am so tired and low...

Jorbax · Jorbax

I wrote about my AB moving in w/ us at assumed rock bottom and messing up again. I wrote letter to him w no response. He will not talk about anything. I went to my 2nd AlAnon f2f mtg tonight. I realize that I am to focus on me and live for today only. But this will take much practice for me. I cannot help bu...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Today's thought from Hazelden is: Daily, we determine our priorities. Priorities are not merely something we establish once a year, once a month, or even once a week. Our priorities are visible in the myriad decisions we make and actions we take each day. Being closely in touch with our inner selves a...

glad · glad

Someone else's post made me think... My birthday is next week. He has ignored everyone for the past 5 years. So I'm gonna just not worry about what he does or does not do this year. I'm gonna plan a little bitty party for myself, complete with a cake of my choice,(kinda cool to get to pick my own flavor??n...

ditto · ditto

I was chatting with a man last night. He wants me to date him. He sent me the following eMail regarding a conversation we had last night: "Ah, yes, I remember. Sometimes I get fuzzy around evening conversations after long days and a glass of wine or two." Ok, you guys know that I am very conce...

still searching · still searching

Well, I found out the other day that my AH is drinking before he goes to work, he is a cop. I admitted it to me, saying it was stupid to do. I told him he needs to get help, that this is just totally out of control. He has been off the last 2 days and now he is just acting like nothing happened or was said. It's the sa...

cara33 · cara33

Hi everyone.. I am not new to addiction forums I have been chatting with various people over the last few months when I finally came 'out' of denial and realized my son was an addict. I am here today to get to know some of you because I know I will need to know all there is to know about his stay in rehab, his ret...

glad · glad

I keep reading things here that remind me that my situation is not unique. I am so thankful for all of you here. And the opportunity to ask for your ideas. From your experiences what is up with the "A" when you write him a heartfelt letter regarding issues and he ignores it. I mean obviously he i...

omajoy · omajoy

I hope all mothers among you will have a wonderful day Sunday. I have dreaded Mother's Day Sunday for weeks....just as I dread almost all holidays for the past couple of years. When your family falls apart, any holiday is fraught with sadness and I just want them OVER!!! I helped the grandbaby make...

maresie · maresie

A year ago I was devasted that the A could respond to me with contempt on my birthday. I had no idea that one year later I could detach from that kind of venom or that I could consider living without him or obsessing about him 24/7. I am trying to look on that as a "present". Indeed I am trying t...

grizmom · grizmom

I have heard it said, several times, that eventually alcoholics/addicts fall into one of three categories: locked up, covered up or sobered up. My husband is locked up, my cousin was buried yesterday and I know some one who has 5 years of sobriety. My cousin was wonderful man. He was a beautiful per...

acjmom · acjmom

Hello All, hope you have all had a great week!!! I have been wondering how you would go about getting an al-anon meeting going in a town that dont have one.....my town has two different AA meetings, but no Al-Anon....I have been to both of the AA meetings and realize now they both have different peo...

Aloha · Aloha

I really dislike it when I have nightmares... you know how they can come across so "real" to you while you're sleeping, that even after waking, you sometimes wonder... "did that really happen?" I had a wonderful meditation session last night again, and went to bed feeling pr...

glad · glad

The more he makes you think you are the one with the problems, the more the focus is on you instead of him. It's a common alcoholic manipulation. I just read this in someone else's post and well I just had to say wow... I think maybe HP is directing me to continue to look at how I may be "restored to sanit...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

My sponsor's wife and I are looking at Alanon literature to order for our meetings. Besides the meditation book, what else is recommended to keep on hand for meetings? Thanks in advance for any help? We've found several of the CAL books at amazon pretty cheap used.

Jorbax · Jorbax

How do you "detach" w love? I have only been able to make it to 1 meeting.....so a newcomer here......... I wrote last week about allowing my 58 yr old bro (who I thought had hit rock bottom) to move in w/ my family (hubby of 25 yrs, 9 yr old, 14 yr old and my 80 yr old mother w/ alzheimers). Should...

ddub · ddub

my 4th child has hit puberty and like the rest, depression has hit him hard this week. I have a dr. appt this afternoon for him and piles of makeup homework. 6th grade and he has a 12 page power point due Friday, good grief! here we go again.......I am so tired of this but it seems to be in the cards for us. I...

Aloha · Aloha

I've slowly been working on increasing the amount of meditation I do. Of course, before the beginning of the year, my mediation routine was pretty much non-existent. I'd meditate sometimes, and then not do it again for months. In the last couple weeks, I've been trying to at least meditate one ti...

Diva · Diva

During every unfortunate situation of our lives, there comes that "Aha" moment when we suddenly realize there is a door open straight ahead with a bright light shining to welcome us to a renewal of positive forces. I woke up this morning to an amazing revelation. I DON'T LOVE HIM ANYMORE!!...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, Last week I posted a letter to someone who I am interested in but for all the wrong reasons. I can honestly say I would not be singing from the absolute honesty programme. Today the same letter was returned to me unopened as the address was slightly wrong. This would normally never happen and I t...

glad lee · glad lee

Dear Family, I guess my codependency is alive and well. I've been thinking about my ex-AH....like, seeing if he wants to to go to a favorite restaurant we had together ....and maybe coming back to my place. Ugh.... I just had to get that out. It's insane, I know it. He is completely untrustworth...

cookie1973 · cookie1973

Hi everyone. I am 35 and my hubby is 48. We have been together for 14 years. Hubby is an alcoholic. He just entered rehab last Thurs. He has always been a drinker. I never thought much of it. He never harmed me or said anything abusive towards me. I guess I married a "happy drunk". Anyway, for yea...

glad · glad

Once you detach a little you begin to notice things you didn't really see clearly before. Behaviors that are so self defeating for A and myself. He says he wants to change certain things. Be more responsible, make a better plan for dealing with his money. Do more to help our around house, and drink less....

Loupiness · Loupiness

Had our meeting with the attorneys today. We sat around a 6-person conference table and the two chairs on either end were empty - I had God sitting on my left and all of you shared the other one. The way I saw it, God led the meeting and you all kept it under control. I thank you for that. I did pretty good, bu...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I hate when someone says or does something that brings my inner child in all her glory out. She feels deflated, frozen in the thought that she will forever be a screw up. This makes her sad because all she wants is to be recognized for the good that is in her instead of the bad all the time. She is also angry b...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Friday, before I went to divorce court I went parasailing (parachute behind a boat...) and immediately after I went and got my hair cut short, decided to dye it brown and now have a totally new much better style.... funny timing? I'm still doing the weekday workout - 3 for 3 sofar this week. I have decid...

arty · arty

HI all, i havent posted in over a year. I broke up with my A last year because i couldnt deal with the drink anymore, and since then i have been so happy...most days. But recently i have been bumping into old friends whom i havent seen in a long time, so im finding myself explaining the breakup. It seems th...

intothewoods · intothewoods

So, my A fiance ended his sober streak tonight. He came home from work with "two beers." (I couldn't help but notice that hey were two 24 oz cans, which is four beers to a normal person.) Of course he was "just going to drink one and not buy any more." (Of course he just went out and bou...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Way back in the day, before the AA program had any steps, traditions or literature at all--and forget al anon!--there were the 4 absolutes. Based on The Oxford Group in England, the first group to attempt to takle alcholism as an individual disease, the foundation for the AA program--and for al anon-...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Well, I guess you could say that today is the kick-off for our divorce. We will be meeting together with our attorneys this afternoon. If anyone is out there praying this morning, I sure would appreciate you throwing me in there. I want to treat it like an al-anon meeting - listen and stay quiet mostl...

Suzannah · Suzannah

There's always one trip, one ride,one surf, one expedition you make which you remember the most, over all the other adventures you have in life. It may be going to gorgeous parts of the world on a holiday, taking a trip to an island, or through rainforests or up mountains, however that feeling of being...

maresie · maresie

I grew up in a an abusive, chaotic home where all the responsibiltiies were reversed. My relationship with my two sisters was based on survival, shaming, blaming and competition for meager resources. So i grew up as a magnet for an alcoholic who is active. I grew up used to taking responsibility fo...

Codependent · Codependent

So I find that I have made some new friends who live near me that I share similar upbringings with- well with the wife. Both of us come from dysfunctional homes with abuse, etc. Anyway, I find when I visit with them she and I often drink wine together and vent about our childhoods. Although this often,...

pickford · pickford

I've only posted (reply) once, but needed to write out my thoughts of the past week and thought this would be a good place. My AH was arrested last Monday for domestic violence...not that this was the first time or even the 10th. I probably would have let it go longer but for one thing...our 6-year-old...

ddub · ddub

Has anyone dealt with an A partner and this sleep disorder? (see info below) It states this could happen if drinking or withdrawal & as acute rather than chronic. With functioning chronic AH, I'm not sure if it means he's drinking more or less and whether this is going to continue or what. I am...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Okay, I have a question about binge drinking. I know when we're practicing al-anon, we only worry about ourselves and not the alcoholic, their disease is their thing etc etc. Yet, when you have an A that is a binge drinker and has been on the wagon with the program AA etc, and they relapse, are you 'allo...

Aloha · Aloha

I've shared in here a while ago that my AH and I had to go file a claim in small courts to get our deposit back from our addict-landlord. She flipped out on us when we told her we were going to have to move back in late January/early February. Our deposit should have been paid to us 15 days after we vacated, but...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

The divorce went through yesterday, I thought there might be a problem because the A filed a response from the jail requesting to be brought in for the hearing but since he got out of jail and didn't respond and proceeded to leave the state (watch out PA...) I was granted the divorce and full custody of my...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Do to the conversations that took place during the business meeting I was unable to get to the discussion of meeting coverage. Just to let you all know Norwood has stepped up to be the Wednesday OP. So yay norwood, we have been needing a chair for that night. Yours in recovery, Mandy

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	rough night... (Preview) Well... I just joined this forum last week and got some really great advice and words of encouragement... I just need to vent... Haven't had a chance yet to get to f2f meeting but found one close to home that also does an AA meeting, in case my A decides he wants to go... he just goes back and forth... i nee...	amybear	8	650	May 13, 2008 by amybear
	imagine it and it WILL come to pass (Preview) My mother's day was exactly as I imagined it last week when I posted. I was alone all day. No grandchild was here to see me; his mother saw to that, obviously expressing her anger with me from a phone call gone bad Friday morning. Said call to scream about my son to me and his neglect to do something she had...	omajoy	6	643	May 13, 2008 by carolinagirl
	What is WRONG with me? (Preview) Hello all, I joined before then lost my log in details. I was Paula Q before. Now get this-I searched for the topic I started as Paula Q to see if anyone else had replied since and I couldn't believe it when I saw the date it was posted-4 sept 2006!!! Nearly 2 years ago and I don't feel I've moved on at all. S...	paulaque	12	775	May 13, 2008 by paulaque
	Pondering how the heck I got here (Preview) I am sure many know or have heard of broken heart syndrome. You know, the mom who never gets over the loss of a child,or a husband who's wife dies etc Could face that this life will always be a struggle of working on keeping on.One foot in front of the other,giving it all to hp, having complete faith, being g...	debilyn	6	775	May 13, 2008 by debilyn
	need advice quickly (Preview) Hi everyone Quick history Son has been on opiates for over 2 years He is in rehab.... one week on Tuesday night He wanted to come home today, (after only 5 days) I told him if he came home he would not be coming here and that he needed more than 5 days. He eventually agreed to stay longer. I dont want t...	cara33	6	521	May 13, 2008 by Christy
	A question of emotions (Preview) As many of you know - my A and I are considering (planning?) to try again - which will mean his move back to the states. Back here to me. Everyone's got an opinion on that - and believe me - there's nothing that I haven't thought of. Nothing. All that being said - I'll get to my point. Last night we were onl...	round3	5	770	May 12, 2008 by Jerry F
	MY AH moved out (Preview) Hi everyone, I asked my AH to move out and he did last Saturday. It's been stress free for a week, and I'm a lot happier, but also somewhat confused because I'm sad but happy at the same time. I also still worry about him, but I know in my heart he and I will be fine and go on our separate paths. We have no chil...	CJ098	4	592	May 12, 2008 by glad
	well he slipped (Preview) my so called SAH slipped twice.first time was in march while i was up in ny for the birth of my 3rd grandbaby,he drugged and drank over 3000.00$while i was gone for 18 days.the second time was just 2 weeks ago when i went back up to ny to move my daughter and son in law and 3 grandbabies back here to florida{th...	bev	4	607	May 12, 2008 by maresie
	Thanks (Preview) Thanks to those who responded to my post. I had an OK day with my mom. We went to lunch and I treated her. She seemed to have a pretty nice day! I struggled as usual but made it through. A lady at the checkout at the grocery store wished me a happy MD but I said nothing. I was waiting for something to happen y...	Hoot Nanny	1	405	May 12, 2008 by glad
	need advice asap! (Preview) I have been devorced 27 yrs and my ExA is still causing problem between me and my 3 adult sons. Does it ever help tp just phone him and really tell him off!! My DH said that will make things soooo much worse. I want to "blackmail" him and say stay out of my life with my sons or I will tell them about a...	meagain	10	564	May 12, 2008 by debilyn
	How do I deal with... (Preview) ...when it comes to moving on in the steps, I realise that there is alot of stuff that I have now dealt with and brought to the fore in my inventory, however I have come across a bit of a stumbling block when it comes to putting Step 5 into practice with one or two people. If I cannot put things right with the pe...	Suzannah	4	678	May 12, 2008 by maresie
	My brother is in the hospital (Preview) Hello all....I'm brand new to this site. My brother, age 51, has been in the hospital for almost three weeks now. We were worried when we couldn't contact him and had a friend of his go by my brother's apartment. They gained entry and found him on the floor completely delusional. He was immediately tak...	JohnL	10	881	May 12, 2008 by JohnL
	faith, courage & love (Preview) "What greater treasures can you have than faith and courage and love? All these are stolen from you by doubt and fear and resentment. Face each day with peace and hope." Today I want to be more active, do the first thing first, eat 3 meals Read some al anon literature but not over study or dwell...	ddub	1	409	May 12, 2008 by Loupiness
	what to do (Preview) Hi I'm new to this site, and I need some help maybe guideness or something. ok lets start way back in the day, my mother was a server alcoholic and at the age of 10 I moved with my father because her drinking would cause her to become mean and just unruly. any way I stayed here in Illinois and my mom moved to Mi...	z28mama8	7	531	May 12, 2008 by z28mama8
	Young People Taking a Pledge Not to use Drugs or Alcohol (Preview) My husband and I started a drug and alcohol prevention program at our church check out the pledge that the young people made to not use drugs or alcohol. I am so very proud of them. We followed up the video shoot weekly 1 hour meetings with the young people to discuss drugs, peer pressure and anything els...	barbie	4	709	May 12, 2008 by barbie
	HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!! (Preview) (((((Family)))) A very Happy Mothers day to all the mothers out there. Whether you are a mother to children or pets or both like I am. May you all have a blessed Mothers Day!! Love, Claudia	cookie1971	2	353	May 11, 2008 by Maria123
	Another Mother's Day! (Preview) I am still struggling with MD! I am not very happy this time of year anymore! I have two mothers to celebrate with and not myself. I have never had children and regret it very much. I have wanted children but know that I shouldn't. It is a very tough decision I had to make, too. I will make it through, I k...	Hoot Nanny	3	501	May 11, 2008 by round3
	A new way, a new day, a good day (Preview) "More than we can imagine, good days are ours for the asking." I have been frustrated with stressed kids over failing grades and missing school, but today they are camping with scouts so all three of us can have a break from the pressure. My sleep has been poor and many naps to be rested for the...	ddub	5	785	May 11, 2008 by Tracy
	My newest favorite quote to live by about letting go of anger and resentment (Preview) Spiritual growth takes place within us, and it needs an environment completely free of any ill will.	norwood	2	631	May 11, 2008 by Jerry F
	New- talk to my brother? (Preview) I'm new here and new to any addiction board. I'm here to get some advice on dealing with my brother. My brother is 33 and is an alcoholic in denial. We haven't actually had a major talk about his drinking but I'm wondering if we should. He actually wrecked his truck on Jan. 5 of this year and thank God he didn...	krazykatlady	2	529	May 11, 2008 by Jerry F
	I was reminded of the horrible disease again today!! (Preview) Hello Everyone, I was a member of MIP for 3 wks . Last week I changed my name because my full name appeared on my post. With the help of jerry F, and David62 I was able to get that corrected. And, thanks again to Jerry,and David for helping. Anyway, that is not what I wanted to talk about today. I went to our g...	RLC	1	596	May 10, 2008 by cookie1971
	Depression - I hate it! Really low! (Preview) Hello Family I just spent the bank holiday weekend with my daughter and her family, and don't get me wrong it was one of the best times I have ever spent with her and the children. I give thanks for that, it was a first. Now I am back home, and I have been to my weekly hospital PMP session and I am so tired and low...	Suzannah	7	670	May 10, 2008 by serendipity
	What do i do now?............... (Preview) I wrote about my AB moving in w/ us at assumed rock bottom and messing up again. I wrote letter to him w no response. He will not talk about anything. I went to my 2nd AlAnon f2f mtg tonight. I realize that I am to focus on me and live for today only. But this will take much practice for me. I cannot help bu...	Jorbax	5	845	May 10, 2008 by Jerry F
	Priorities (Preview) Today's thought from Hazelden is: Daily, we determine our priorities. Priorities are not merely something we establish once a year, once a month, or even once a week. Our priorities are visible in the myriad decisions we make and actions we take each day. Being closely in touch with our inner selves a...	Tiger2006	4	398	May 10, 2008 by ddub
	Birthdays! (Preview) Someone else's post made me think... My birthday is next week. He has ignored everyone for the past 5 years. So I'm gonna just not worry about what he does or does not do this year. I'm gonna plan a little bitty party for myself, complete with a cake of my choice,(kinda cool to get to pick my own flavor??n...	glad	3	396	May 10, 2008 by cookie1971
	Is This A Huge Clue? (Preview) I was chatting with a man last night. He wants me to date him. He sent me the following eMail regarding a conversation we had last night: "Ah, yes, I remember. Sometimes I get fuzzy around evening conversations after long days and a glass of wine or two." Ok, you guys know that I am very conce...	ditto	9	790	May 10, 2008 by arty
	drinking and work (Preview) Well, I found out the other day that my AH is drinking before he goes to work, he is a cop. I admitted it to me, saying it was stupid to do. I told him he needs to get help, that this is just totally out of control. He has been off the last 2 days and now he is just acting like nothing happened or was said. It's the sa...	still searching	3	492	May 9, 2008 by Jerry F
	son leaving for rehab @ 1:30 today (Preview) Hi everyone.. I am not new to addiction forums I have been chatting with various people over the last few months when I finally came 'out' of denial and realized my son was an addict. I am here today to get to know some of you because I know I will need to know all there is to know about his stay in rehab, his ret...	cara33	10	731	May 9, 2008 by cara33
	Letters to your "A"? (Preview) I keep reading things here that remind me that my situation is not unique. I am so thankful for all of you here. And the opportunity to ask for your ideas. From your experiences what is up with the "A" when you write him a heartfelt letter regarding issues and he ignores it. I mean obviously he i...	glad	9	748	May 9, 2008 by Jorbax
	cannot bear holidays (Preview) I hope all mothers among you will have a wonderful day Sunday. I have dreaded Mother's Day Sunday for weeks....just as I dread almost all holidays for the past couple of years. When your family falls apart, any holiday is fraught with sadness and I just want them OVER!!! I helped the grandbaby make...	omajoy	7	510	May 9, 2008 by Jill
	Birthday tomorrow (Preview) A year ago I was devasted that the A could respond to me with contempt on my birthday. I had no idea that one year later I could detach from that kind of venom or that I could consider living without him or obsessing about him 24/7. I am trying to look on that as a "present". Indeed I am trying t...	maresie	8	530	May 9, 2008 by Tracy
	Deeply angered (Preview) I have heard it said, several times, that eventually alcoholics/addicts fall into one of three categories: locked up, covered up or sobered up. My husband is locked up, my cousin was buried yesterday and I know some one who has 5 years of sobriety. My cousin was wonderful man. He was a beautiful per...	grizmom	9	565	May 9, 2008 by stariana
	new al-anon meetings (Preview) Hello All, hope you have all had a great week!!! I have been wondering how you would go about getting an al-anon meeting going in a town that dont have one.....my town has two different AA meetings, but no Al-Anon....I have been to both of the AA meetings and realize now they both have different peo...	acjmom	3	576	May 9, 2008 by maresie
	Dreams / Nightmares (Preview) I really dislike it when I have nightmares... you know how they can come across so "real" to you while you're sleeping, that even after waking, you sometimes wonder... "did that really happen?" I had a wonderful meditation session last night again, and went to bed feeling pr...	Aloha	5	507	May 9, 2008 by Jerry F
	Oh how we help eachother! (Preview) *The more he makes you think you are the one with the problems, the more the focus is on you instead of him. It's a common alcoholic manipulation.* I just read this in someone else's post and well I just had to say wow... I think maybe HP is directing me to continue to look at how I may be "restored to sanit...	glad	3	692	May 9, 2008 by maresie
	Question on literature for meetings (Preview) My sponsor's wife and I are looking at Alanon literature to order for our meetings. Besides the meditation book, what else is recommended to keep on hand for meetings? Thanks in advance for any help? We've found several of the CAL books at amazon pretty cheap used.	Tenderheartsks	4	688	May 9, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Need help...How do you.................. (Preview) How do you "detach" w love? I have only been able to make it to 1 meeting.....so a newcomer here......... I wrote last week about allowing my 58 yr old bro (who I thought had hit rock bottom) to move in w/ my family (hubby of 25 yrs, 9 yr old, 14 yr old and my 80 yr old mother w/ alzheimers). Should...	Jorbax	6	778	May 9, 2008 by maresie
	family mental health (Preview) my 4th child has hit puberty and like the rest, depression has hit him hard this week. I have a dr. appt this afternoon for him and piles of makeup homework. 6th grade and he has a 12 page power point due Friday, good grief! here we go again.......I am so tired of this but it seems to be in the cards for us. I...	ddub	4	392	May 9, 2008 by nmike
	Meditation (Preview) I've slowly been working on increasing the amount of meditation I do. Of course, before the beginning of the year, my mediation routine was pretty much non-existent. I'd meditate sometimes, and then not do it again for months. In the last couple weeks, I've been trying to at least meditate one ti...	Aloha	4	527	May 9, 2008 by Aloha
	Free at last!!!!!! (Preview) During every unfortunate situation of our lives, there comes that "Aha" moment when we suddenly realize there is a door open straight ahead with a bright light shining to welcome us to a renewal of positive forces. I woke up this morning to an amazing revelation. I DON'T LOVE HIM ANYMORE!!...	Diva	13	578	May 9, 2008 by leo
	HP working in mysterious ways (Preview) Dear All, Last week I posted a letter to someone who I am interested in but for all the wrong reasons. I can honestly say I would not be singing from the absolute honesty programme. Today the same letter was returned to me unopened as the address was slightly wrong. This would normally never happen and I t...	maire rua	2	625	May 8, 2008 by glad
	Missing him (Preview) Dear Family, I guess my codependency is alive and well. I've been thinking about my ex-AH....like, seeing if he wants to to go to a favorite restaurant we had together ....and maybe coming back to my place. Ugh.... I just had to get that out. It's insane, I know it. He is completely untrustworth...	glad lee	3	559	May 8, 2008 by maresie
	New here and need to vent this before I explode!!(long and sorry for that) (Preview) Hi everyone. I am 35 and my hubby is 48. We have been together for 14 years. Hubby is an alcoholic. He just entered rehab last Thurs. He has always been a drinker. I never thought much of it. He never harmed me or said anything abusive towards me. I guess I married a "happy drunk". Anyway, for yea...	cookie1973	7	673	May 8, 2008 by cookie1973
	Odd behavior? (Preview) Once you detach a little you begin to notice things you didn't really see clearly before. Behaviors that are so self defeating for A and myself. He says he wants to change certain things. Be more responsible, make a better plan for dealing with his money. Do more to help our around house, and drink less....	glad	2	380	May 8, 2008 by Jen
	and I 'm not devastated... (Preview) Had our meeting with the attorneys today. We sat around a 6-person conference table and the two chairs on either end were empty - I had God sitting on my left and all of you shared the other one. The way I saw it, God led the meeting and you all kept it under control. I thank you for that. I did pretty good, bu...	Loupiness	8	761	May 8, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	I hate this (Preview) I hate when someone says or does something that brings my inner child in all her glory out. She feels deflated, frozen in the thought that she will forever be a screw up. This makes her sad because all she wants is to be recognized for the good that is in her instead of the bad all the time. She is also angry b...	seekingserenity	5	438	May 8, 2008 by Jen
	I forgot to mention... (Preview) Friday, before I went to divorce court I went parasailing (parachute behind a boat...) and immediately after I went and got my hair cut short, decided to dye it brown and now have a totally new much better style.... funny timing? I'm still doing the weekday workout - 3 for 3 sofar this week. I have decid...	carolinagirl	6	634	May 8, 2008 by serendipity
	why does it bother me so much? (Preview) HI all, i havent posted in over a year. I broke up with my A last year because i couldnt deal with the drink anymore, and since then i have been so happy...most days. But recently i have been bumping into old friends whom i havent seen in a long time, so im finding myself explaining the breakup. It seems th...	arty	12	927	May 8, 2008 by Diva
	So THIS is what detachment feels like! (Preview) So, my A fiance ended his sober streak tonight. He came home from work with "two beers." (I couldn't help but notice that hey were two 24 oz cans, which is four beers to a normal person.) Of course he was "just going to drink one and not buy any more." (Of course he just went out and bou...	intothewoods	4	651	May 8, 2008 by nmike
	The 4 Absolutes (Preview) Way back in the day, before the AA program had any steps, traditions or literature at all--and forget al anon!--there were the 4 absolutes. Based on The Oxford Group in England, the first group to attempt to takle alcholism as an individual disease, the foundation for the AA program--and for al anon-...	Tiger2006	4	9431	May 8, 2008 by nmike
	today's the day... (Preview) Well, I guess you could say that today is the kick-off for our divorce. We will be meeting together with our attorneys this afternoon. If anyone is out there praying this morning, I sure would appreciate you throwing me in there. I want to treat it like an al-anon meeting - listen and stay quiet mostl...	Loupiness	6	496	May 8, 2008 by ddub
	The risk was worth it... (Preview) There's always one trip, one ride,one surf, one expedition you make which you remember the most, over all the other adventures you have in life. It may be going to gorgeous parts of the world on a holiday, taking a trip to an island, or through rainforests or up mountains, however that feeling of being...	Suzannah	3	593	May 8, 2008 by ddub
	Over responsibilty (Preview) I grew up in a an abusive, chaotic home where all the responsibiltiies were reversed. My relationship with my two sisters was based on survival, shaming, blaming and competition for meager resources. So i grew up as a magnet for an alcoholic who is active. I grew up used to taking responsibility fo...	maresie	2	390	May 8, 2008 by ddub
	Exposure (Preview) So I find that I have made some new friends who live near me that I share similar upbringings with- well with the wife. Both of us come from dysfunctional homes with abuse, etc. Anyway, I find when I visit with them she and I often drink wine together and vent about our childhoods. Although this often,...	Codependent	3	519	May 8, 2008 by Christy
	Wild week-AH arrested (Preview) I've only posted (reply) once, but needed to write out my thoughts of the past week and thought this would be a good place. My AH was arrested last Monday for domestic violence...not that this was the first time or even the 10th. I probably would have let it go longer but for one thing...our 6-year-old...	pickford	6	666	May 7, 2008 by pickford
	alcoholic sleep disorders (Preview) Has anyone dealt with an A partner and this sleep disorder? (see info below) It states this could happen if drinking or withdrawal & as acute rather than chronic. With functioning chronic AH, I'm not sure if it means he's drinking more or less and whether this is going to continue or what. I am...	ddub	7	1380	May 7, 2008 by maresie
	Binge Drinking question (Preview) Okay, I have a question about binge drinking. I know when we're practicing al-anon, we only worry about ourselves and not the alcoholic, their disease is their thing etc etc. Yet, when you have an A that is a binge drinker and has been on the wagon with the program AA etc, and they relapse, are you 'allo...	sdisnie	8	981	May 7, 2008 by maresie
	Ex ALandlord woes (Preview) I've shared in here a while ago that my AH and I had to go file a claim in small courts to get our deposit back from our addict-landlord. She flipped out on us when we told her we were going to have to move back in late January/early February. Our deposit should have been paid to us 15 days after we vacated, but...	Aloha	4	505	May 7, 2008 by Aloha
	Finally free (Preview) The divorce went through yesterday, I thought there might be a problem because the A filed a response from the jail requesting to be brought in for the hearing but since he got out of jail and didn't respond and proceeded to leave the state (watch out PA...) I was granted the divorce and full custody of my...	carolinagirl	6	456	May 7, 2008 by Christy
	NEW WEDNESDAY OP (Preview) Hi all, Do to the conversations that took place during the business meeting I was unable to get to the discussion of meeting coverage. Just to let you all know Norwood has stepped up to be the Wednesday OP. So yay norwood, we have been needing a chair for that night. Yours in recovery, Mandy	Mandy123	0	342	May 6, 2008 by Mandy123
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.