Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jean4444 · Jean4444

This post is about my stinking thinking. I was recently in a situation where I was going on nothing- no good information about anything. I was operating in the dark. And when I am operating in the dark: where do I go? Into the insanity of my disease: stinking thinking!!! I begin to 1.) doubt, 2.) expect th...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family)))))), To my American family: HAPPY 4TH OF JULY! To my International family: HAPPY WEEKEND! If you get the daily word from Hazelden, Melody Beattie's entry is on it today. It talks about celebrating independence, not only our nation's but independence from codependency and addi...

maresie · maresie

My last 6/7 4th of July holidays have all been spent trying to control an A who was out of control. Last year on 4th July I spent all my money trying to get the A off the street. Like always in my codependency I felt the effort would be appreciated (it never was but hope was something I held onto rigidly for a l...

lmw · lmw

It's officially after midnight here on the East Coast of the US, so Happy Fourth of July to all my MIP friends. My oldest daughter - my own little firecracker - turns 9 today which is so hard to believe! I just finished frosting the mandatory American flag cake we'll be sharing with my family later toda...

maresie · maresie

When I moved into the house I am in now I was really in a bind. I was desperate to get the dogs out from the A's care. So I didn't even consider the implications of what I was doing. To say I was exhausted was an understatement. When I moved in here there was a man here (he's still here) and he was plesant. Back...

kingston2902 · kingston2902

Well I'm back again - been reading up on the past posts, they have been so helpful -thank you. My conclusion is that I have a dry drunk for a husband. I sat down with him a few days ago and told him how I was feeling and what I needed to ensure that i felt better. In a nutshell he needs to find a job that will pay f...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Friday was his first sober birthday. It was wonderful to watch him receive his one year medallion and to hear the speaker's story and to feel the love of all the sober alcoholic's in one room. And for me it was bittersweet. My dad is an active alcoholic. While we were standing shoulder to shoulder and han...

stormie · stormie

As some of you might recall, my husband slipped up a few weeks back and had at least one drink. If a recovering alcoholic slips up and has even one drink, does that mean he or she has to start all over again counting the days, months of sobriety? Hubby keeps saying it will have his first sober birthday in A...

new member - Living with a recovering A · JohnInFL

We are mid fifties and have been down 25 years of hard road due to my wife's drinking. I am ACOA and codependent of course and drink next to nothing. Maybe 6 drinks/year. She has progressed from 6 beers/day to 18 beers/day, every day, over 30 years. Yes, I said 18. Her drinking has killed any relatio...

QOD · QOD

I have been divorced from my exAH since March 08. What an accomplishment for me. I have come so far in the last few years. I amazed at myself for all that I have done. Yet I am even more amazed by where I am still stuck!! By this I mean, I am still so very angry!! The anger helps me get the "must do's&q...

kingston2902 · kingston2902

I've been reading/lurking here for a while now. I'm in a situation now where I really need some feedback. My AH has been sober now for about 3 1/2 years. He doesn't go to AA anymore - he did regularly for the first year but now nothing. He also doesn't work. He has used all his savings/pension. He had this dr...

angel123 · angel123

Thank God morning, Remember this old saying some would say Good God morning or Thank God morning I am Thankful the spiritual Awaking I have bin experiencing. I have bin going to camp as you all know. This is where I am most able to learn how to calm me down for this time in my life. I have bin enjoying every mo...

glad · glad

I have realized this week that I really need to let go of "resentment" in order to feel happy. I need to find some answers- Higher Power can provide I know. I am not purposely holding on to things but since my way is to "discuss" feelings about things that happen and my A's is to sim...

jackie S · jackie S

I was just thinking after reading some messages and being in the meeting...........that my AH is active, with no desire to stop drinking. I neither have a AH in treatment , a sober AH, or a recovering AH . My AH doesnt want to stop drinking. He "doesnt have a problem". Its "not an issue...

be4yourii · be4yourii

Well, sooner came sooner than I thought it would. . . and it really was the last straw. I just dont understand this disease. THE GOOD: Im not really sure how things are going to work out, but I can not stay in this relationship. For the longest time I was holding onto hope, but now there is none left to hold on...

carosie · carosie

I'm feeling pretty sad today. Tomorrow I'm flying back east..my brother is dying. He's near the end of his life. He is only 55 yrs old. He is also one of my qualifiers. He has stage 4 liver cancer that has spread. My sisters and I will all gather and say our good byes. Please keep my family in your praye...

ddub · ddub

dear family, what a month of growth and gratitude for the al anon tools I have learned so far. Listen, think, my side of the street, say what I mean, let go & let God, embrace feelings, and prayers for all of you while I have been gone this month of June. I had expected to spend the 2nd week of June at a c...

maresie · maresie

I'm having to revise my expectations. When I stopped people pleasing, people were not singing from the roof tops. In fact a lot of them are downright unpleased that I have stopped doing for them what they need to do for themselves. They aren't exactly happy I stopped paying for everything or stopped t...

debilyn · debilyn

I am a Recovering addict and had the first 12 years of our marriage clean but had issues that went unattended and I eventually relapsed 10 years back and have had up and down off and on again slips and relapses. Every time there is an emotional crisis I hit the pipe and the bottle. 15 months ago I entered a re...

queenie105 · queenie105

It happened just as I thought it would! I knew he drank Monday night, and of course, yesterday, when I got home from working all day, found a note from him telling me he was going to a meeting and be home at 6:30. Well, it must have been some meeting! He was drunk as a skunk. I expected it (why would I expec...

meagain · meagain

My son and DIL refuse all my calls etc. and will now not let me see the grandkids. This has been going over 2 months. OK PLEASE I am pleading----I have a God box and put my letting go in there. It helped at first---but now I am in terrible aniexty, like I feel like I am having a heart attack. I guess I am taking G...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

The day before yesterday: While I was at work, AH took my two girls and one of thier friends to a movie and dinner. My daughter told me she saw three empty beer bottles at his feet when the movie was over. They went to a resteraunt where he ordered a white russian. When AH left the resteraunt, the owner calle...

maresie · maresie

As you all know I'm more than one year out from leaving the A. The issue for me is that there is still tremendous codpendency in me. I tend to try harder when people are obnoxious. I people please in my sleep. I catch myself doing it and the blame game and then get mad and lash out. I don't think I know what a &qu...

ESH · ESH

I watch this show a lot and I get a lot out of it. I like some of their sayings regarding an intervention. One of the things that they tell the family (during pre-intervention) to keep in mind as a support for the addict to accept help is: - There's nothing we won't do to help you get better - Ther...

laurab · laurab

This morning my XDIL called to say she was dumping my A son out in the street for all kinds of reasons. He has been with her for a week.I got right off the phone. Then I got 2 emails from my son, blaming her and saying he had to get away from her so he was going to be on the street 100 miles from here. I had a long stan...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

hi everyone. some of you know me and some dont. long story short...been in the program few years now. was with an alcoholic/crack addict for 8 yrs and magaged to leave him and get my life back. i was extremely happy and healthy. i was on top of the world. currently ive lost myself again. my life is falling...

mich8 · mich8

I am new to this board - I have read a few posts and love the way people share and support each other... I found this week that my son, age 16, has been using drugs for quite some time and it was right under my nose. I found an ADD drug all crushed up and ready to snort in his pocket while I was doing laundry. Whe...

Suzannah · Suzannah

((((((((((((Family)))))))))))) I am sharing this with you all as I have with my Sponsor, 'cos I need your help, your clarity, your thoughts on this craziness of mine. "...So trying to practise my OWN self confessed approach and letting go letting God this morning; and after a session of visual...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Its incredible, the more I lean on HP, the less it matters what ANYONE does/doesn't do or says/doesn't say. I am taking things less and less personally with each passing month. The more I am gentle with myself, the more others are gentle towards me. The more I understand that we are each on our own journe...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, Sure feels like it sometimes. Just got off the phone with him - my AHSober. It takes us about 2 secs now to get into that circular conversation. I called to see if he could take the truck in for brakes and he says when are we going to sit down with the specifics about the divorce. He says you have...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Love the miracles in my life...feel so much is happening as I accept more and more of what is in my life. Not fighting my life as much these days, and I am sure that is something to do with Alanon and practising the programme and reading and writing and sharing with this ((((family)))). Nothing stays the s...

queenie105 · queenie105

AH has been sober now for about 10 days, since losing his job (of over 20 years) due to his drunkeness 3 weeks ago. I'm sorry to say I have not kept up with the enforcement of my own boundaries. When he lost his job, I told him I would not leave him if he got sober, went to 90 meetings in 90 days and remained s...

Diva · Diva

I have no knowledge of how the court system operates: A got arrested May 22nd for public intoxication. At that time he apparently appeared before a judge. He doesn't remember doing so, but the paperwork he brought home indicates that he did. At that time he was given the date of June 25th (yesterday) to...

junehouse · junehouse

I had tried to send this via private message a long time ago but it did not go through, I have had some trouble with sending intracomputer notes and usually have to cut and paste the email on my own email. I think it has something to do with my security computer system maybe? anyhoo below is the message fr...

Mabeleileen · Mabeleileen

I am done with it. I am done trying to be the only one trying to make our marriage work. I am done listening to him make drink after drink. I am done watching him drink. I am done watching how he is treating our wonderful children. I am done being treated like a child. I am done yelling. I am done crying. I am don...

AJ · AJ

The thought of taking care of myself is rather foreign. I always believed that you put other people's needs ahead of your own, and that if you thought about yourself for any length of time it was not a good thing to do. I'm sure I adopted this behavior from watching my mother who catered to my father's (and...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

just want some advice on dealing with another anon or codependent who is not an A

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family!! I was asked in a PM to take the subject of "doing the opposites" out a bit further or to expand on what I had mentioned in a reply to a post earlier. In that post I had mentioned that I had learned "the opposites" from working with help from the program, sponsor and my th...

meagain · meagain

Thanks You to all of you for your prayers and concerns about the issue with my son and DIL. But mostly I need to thank my Higher Power-God is always in control and He is My Strength. My son called me tonite---yes we have issues to discuss-not on the phone he said, that's OK. I can see the grandkids and that...

Jen · Jen

Things have been going really well. I am hopeful, but still a bit reserved. AH had 10 months sober on the 27th and I told him last fall that I would not let him back in for at least a year. So our year is coming up in August, and I have at times recently felt pressured (by myself) to be ready to have him back at hom...

jackie S · jackie S

Hi, I feel like I am absolutely emotionally drained b/c of my AH. I can never do enough.......whether it is cleaning around the house, running errands, cooking, doing things w/ our daughter. I totally lost it this morning b/c I asked him if he could help me hang 1 thing up on the wall and he said he was too t...

Sylvie66 · Sylvie66

My ABF keeps changing the scenery on me! At Christmas, he had a violent blackout, my own personal rock-bottom. First, he said he was stopping completely. 6 weeks later, at my request, he said he would not be drunk near me or the kids. At the beginning of June, after a night of drinking when he was verbally...

kellia · kellia

I am so at the end of my rope here in Alabama! I don't mind saying where I live. My husband has been struggling with alcohol (plus other) addiction for the past 3 years. He has been to rehab twice and all of a sudden....even though he wavers back and forth between recovery and active add. he knows EVERYT...

debilyn · debilyn

A long time ago a friend used this word. I asked about it. It is a major tool in my life. Putting myself in anothers place and thinking how that may feel.It has made me ever so much more humble and loving. Used to be shy believe it or not. NO on really knew I played the role well I guess. But some thought my quie...

jackie S · jackie S

Hi, I tried to figure out how to email someone privately but had no luck. Someone in the chat room told me to double click on the persons name, which I assumed meant that meant that when that person was talking in the meeting room. I'm not sure. Anyway, I tried to double click in the meeting room but nothin...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family!! I have again had my belief in wise sayings validated. I've been around Al-Anon and AA for sometime and have seen lots of mysterious stuff. As I have related I was born and raised in this disease and know that it has affected lots of generations before me both as consumers and "dire...

maire rua · maire rua

At the moment, I am trying to complete a major piece of work. I had not contact my supervisor in this for a long time and he contacted me today. Finally I have faced up to this and instead of putting things off as I usually do, I told him my action plan and asked him what he needed me to do to fit into the criteria...

AJ · AJ

My MIL called me at work today and we discussed my AH - poor decision on my part to engage in a conversation at work about him, especially with my MIL. She just doesn't "get it." She is heavily pressuring me to take him back. She accused me of drinking during our 5 year relationship. You drank,...

mitch026 · mitch026

Hey everyone, this is my first post so Im still figuring out how this all works. Both my parents were chronic alcoholics, my dad died a few years ago mostly attributed to alcohol. My mother stopped, drinking. Basically this entailed only drinking every other night. Both my parents were physically an...

greta · greta

I have made a pact with myself to post this today. I have been upset with things that are going on with my job and have been letting the stress of it spill over into my personal life. So not good for me. I decided yesterday to start looking for another job and to take all the upset at work as a signal from my h...

laurab · laurab

Yesterday I was foolish enough to think that a corner had been turned. My A Son went home (off the steet) with his X Wednesday night. Yesterday she called to say they had been to the mental health clinic and as soon as they felt his body was clean, he would go back on Lithium. Today was supposed to be outpati...

jackie S · jackie S

I love the meetings in the chat room and I'm wondering...................... what goes on in the chat room after the meetings are over? I dont want to just "listen in" but I want to know what kind of things people talk about in the open chat room. I'd like to visit, but dont know what to expect....

jaysbaby · jaysbaby

Today, after allowing my alcoholic/drug abusing H back in, only a few days later, I have thrown him out. In the past couple of days, he has antogonized me, accused me of cheating on him, cornered me, threatened me... demand that I go to bed when he goes to bed (I enjoy watching tv late at nights alone by my...

mo14 · mo14

This is my first share and I am struggling. My husband has been out of rehab for 21 days and everyday I am feeling our saga is coming closer to the end. He is completely shutting me out and I am not handling it well. I married him for better or worse for sickness or health I believe that when you are married yo...

Bettina · Bettina

Tea and Kismet, found your messages, Thank you, Bettina -- Edited by Bettina at 20:19, 2008-06-28 -- Edited by Bettina at 20:26, 2008-06-28

nat2000 · nat2000

Hi has anyone ever had this problem?. I did a fourth step before ..but it wasn't really an honest one. I am now starting another five years later. I am trying to get a list of people I resent and can only come up with one person so far and that was just resent A month ago I was resenting all kinds of people and t...

annamae · annamae

hi. i don't know much about doing this but i really need help. i have hit a bottom with my fear and i cant take it anymore. i cannot turn my will over to God, I am so afraid of life. If i let go of what my partner is doing, he will hurt me, we will end and my life will be over. i have been living with this for so lo...

Barbs45 · Barbs45

Hi everyone, I haven't posted here in a while, tonight I just felt I wanted to be here are at MIP. I have recently had to detach from my son and daughter, it wasn't easy, although I know now it was the only other thing that I could do. I never thought I'd ever walk away from them both, but I have, I feel sad, but i...

Lexie · Lexie

(((((((friends)))))))))) My A, my son, has another court date set for July 1st. He is still doing very well, but this court date had to be set up because his probation is nearly over, but his fine is not paid in full due to his small income. He is representing himself, since he can't afford an attorney....

SuSUN · SuSUN

Hi Everyone, I am new here and I am jumping in with both feet as I am stuck with a drinking hubby that is only getting worse and worse. He hears me, but says nothing in return. I am getting very lonely and keep busy with my work and family. We just dont spend time together anymore. When I ask him to watch a show...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	It's always there...its not going to go away! (Preview) This post is about my stinking thinking. I was recently in a situation where I was going on nothing- no good information about anything. I was operating in the dark. And when I am operating in the dark: where do I go? Into the insanity of my disease: stinking thinking!!! I begin to 1.) doubt, 2.) expect th...	Jean4444	6	802	Jul 4, 2008 by Jean4444
	Happy 4th of July! (Preview) ((((((((Family)))))), To my American family: HAPPY 4TH OF JULY! To my International family: HAPPY WEEKEND! If you get the daily word from Hazelden, Melody Beattie's entry is on it today. It talks about celebrating independence, not only our nation's but independence from codependency and addi...	Karilynn	2	394	Jul 4, 2008 by nmike
	Happy holidays (Preview) My last 6/7 4th of July holidays have all been spent trying to control an A who was out of control. Last year on 4th July I spent all my money trying to get the A off the street. Like always in my codependency I felt the effort would be appreciated (it never was but hope was something I held onto rigidly for a l...	maresie	6	370	Jul 4, 2008 by Karilynn
	HAPPY 4TH OF JULY (Preview) It's officially after midnight here on the East Coast of the US, so Happy Fourth of July to all my MIP friends. My oldest daughter - my own little firecracker - turns 9 today which is so hard to believe! I just finished frosting the mandatory American flag cake we'll be sharing with my family later toda...	lmw	2	333	Jul 4, 2008 by Karilynn
	low expectations and no boundaries (the two don't go together) (Preview) When I moved into the house I am in now I was really in a bind. I was desperate to get the dogs out from the A's care. So I didn't even consider the implications of what I was doing. To say I was exhausted was an understatement. When I moved in here there was a man here (he's still here) and he was plesant. Back...	maresie	1	501	Jul 4, 2008 by Christy
	How to open up a conversation (Preview) Well I'm back again - been reading up on the past posts, they have been so helpful -thank you. My conclusion is that I have a dry drunk for a husband. I sat down with him a few days ago and told him how I was feeling and what I needed to ensure that i felt better. In a nutshell he needs to find a job that will pay f...	kingston2902	4	593	Jul 4, 2008 by debilyn
	My A's First "Birthday" (Preview) Friday was his first sober birthday. It was wonderful to watch him receive his one year medallion and to hear the speaker's story and to feel the love of all the sober alcoholic's in one room. And for me it was bittersweet. My dad is an active alcoholic. While we were standing shoulder to shoulder and han...	JenniferN	5	623	Jul 3, 2008 by maresie
	Question Regarding Sober Birthdays (Preview) As some of you might recall, my husband slipped up a few weeks back and had at least one drink. If a recovering alcoholic slips up and has even one drink, does that mean he or she has to start all over again counting the days, months of sobriety? Hubby keeps saying it will have his first sober birthday in A...	stormie	7	596	Jul 3, 2008 by canadianguy
	new member - Living with a recovering A (Preview) We are mid fifties and have been down 25 years of hard road due to my wife's drinking. I am ACOA and codependent of course and drink next to nothing. Maybe 6 drinks/year. She has progressed from 6 beers/day to 18 beers/day, every day, over 30 years. Yes, I said 18. Her drinking has killed any relatio...	JohnInFL	13	845	Jul 3, 2008 by maresie
	Oh the anger!! Why?? (Preview) I have been divorced from my exAH since March 08. What an accomplishment for me. I have come so far in the last few years. I amazed at myself for all that I have done. Yet I am even more amazed by where I am still stuck!! By this I mean, I am still so very angry!! The anger helps me get the "must do's&q...	QOD	15	682	Jul 3, 2008 by Karilynn
	Better for me so why the confusion? (Preview) I've been reading/lurking here for a while now. I'm in a situation now where I really need some feedback. My AH has been sober now for about 3 1/2 years. He doesn't go to AA anymore - he did regularly for the first year but now nothing. He also doesn't work. He has used all his savings/pension. He had this dr...	kingston2902	4	516	Jul 3, 2008 by kingston2902
	Spiritual Awakiening (Preview) Thank God morning, Remember this old saying some would say Good God morning or Thank God morning I am Thankful the spiritual Awaking I have bin experiencing. I have bin going to camp as you all know. This is where I am most able to learn how to calm me down for this time in my life. I have bin enjoying every mo...	angel123	2	321	Jul 2, 2008 by nmike
	Resolving "things" vs behavior change with no explaination? (Preview) I have realized this week that I really need to let go of "resentment" in order to feel happy. I need to find some answers- Higher Power can provide I know. I am not purposely holding on to things but since my way is to "discuss" feelings about things that happen and my A's is to sim...	glad	5	821	Jul 2, 2008 by Jerry F
	My AH who is NOT an "AH" (Preview) I was just thinking after reading some messages and being in the meeting...........that my AH is active, with no desire to stop drinking. I neither have a AH in treatment , a sober AH, or a recovering AH . My AH doesnt want to stop drinking. He "doesnt have a problem". Its "not an issue...	jackie S	8	599	Jul 2, 2008 by jackie S
	The good, the bad and the ugly (Preview) Well, sooner came sooner than I thought it would. . . and it really was the last straw. I just dont understand this disease. THE GOOD: Im not really sure how things are going to work out, but I can not stay in this relationship. For the longest time I was holding onto hope, but now there is none left to hold on...	be4yourii	16	613	Jul 2, 2008 by lam0204
	prayer request (Preview) I'm feeling pretty sad today. Tomorrow I'm flying back east..my brother is dying. He's near the end of his life. He is only 55 yrs old. He is also one of my qualifiers. He has stage 4 liver cancer that has spread. My sisters and I will all gather and say our good byes. Please keep my family in your praye...	carosie	5	330	Jul 2, 2008 by Leetle
	Unexpected cured me of expectations (Preview) dear family, what a month of growth and gratitude for the al anon tools I have learned so far. Listen, think, my side of the street, say what I mean, let go & let God, embrace feelings, and prayers for all of you while I have been gone this month of June. I had expected to spend the 2nd week of June at a c...	ddub	6	603	Jul 2, 2008 by nmike
	Expectations (Preview) I'm having to revise my expectations. When I stopped people pleasing, people were not singing from the roof tops. In fact a lot of them are downright unpleased that I have stopped doing for them what they need to do for themselves. They aren't exactly happy I stopped paying for everything or stopped t...	maresie	5	398	Jul 2, 2008 by kitty
	posting for Du Jour (Preview) I am a Recovering addict and had the first 12 years of our marriage clean but had issues that went unattended and I eventually relapsed 10 years back and have had up and down off and on again slips and relapses. Every time there is an emotional crisis I hit the pipe and the bottle. 15 months ago I entered a re...	debilyn	4	380	Jul 2, 2008 by Jen
	I'm leaving it up to HP, but still can't get past the bitterness (Preview) It happened just as I thought it would! I knew he drank Monday night, and of course, yesterday, when I got home from working all day, found a note from him telling me he was going to a meeting and be home at 6:30. Well, it must have been some meeting! He was drunk as a skunk. I expected it (why would I expec...	queenie105	4	534	Jul 2, 2008 by QOD
	How to "Let Go and Let God" (Preview) My son and DIL refuse all my calls etc. and will now not let me see the grandkids. This has been going over 2 months. OK PLEASE I am pleading----I have a God box and put my letting go in there. It helped at first---but now I am in terrible aniexty, like I feel like I am having a heart attack. I guess I am taking G...	meagain	6	664	Jul 2, 2008 by maresie
	a troubling incident (Preview) The day before yesterday: While I was at work, AH took my two girls and one of thier friends to a movie and dinner. My daughter told me she saw three empty beer bottles at his feet when the movie was over. They went to a resteraunt where he ordered a white russian. When AH left the resteraunt, the owner calle...	RainyJamie	10	588	Jul 2, 2008 by maresie
	slip and sliding (Preview) As you all know I'm more than one year out from leaving the A. The issue for me is that there is still tremendous codpendency in me. I tend to try harder when people are obnoxious. I people please in my sleep. I catch myself doing it and the blame game and then get mad and lash out. I don't think I know what a &qu...	maresie	3	293	Jul 2, 2008 by maresie
	A&E's show, "Intervention" (Preview) I watch this show a lot and I get a lot out of it. I like some of their sayings regarding an intervention. One of the things that they tell the family (during pre-intervention) to keep in mind as a support for the addict to accept help is: - There's nothing we won't do to help you get better - Ther...	ESH	4	3657	Jul 2, 2008 by stariana
	The 3 Cs and the new me! (Preview) This morning my XDIL called to say she was dumping my A son out in the street for all kinds of reasons. He has been with her for a week.I got right off the phone. Then I got 2 emails from my son, blaming her and saying he had to get away from her so he was going to be on the street 100 miles from here. I had a long stan...	laurab	6	679	Jul 2, 2008 by joyoma
	im back!!!!!!! (Preview) hi everyone. some of you know me and some dont. long story short...been in the program few years now. was with an alcoholic/crack addict for 8 yrs and magaged to leave him and get my life back. i was extremely happy and healthy. i was on top of the world. currently ive lost myself again. my life is falling...	notsonew1111	2	406	Jul 2, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	new here - drug addicted teen at home,what to do.... (Preview) I am new to this board - I have read a few posts and love the way people share and support each other... I found this week that my son, age 16, has been using drugs for quite some time and it was right under my nose. I found an ADD drug all crushed up and ready to snort in his pocket while I was doing laundry. Whe...	mich8	12	917	Jul 2, 2008 by junehouse
	My marriage and the love of my life... (Preview) ((((((((((((Family)))))))))))) I am sharing this with you all as I have with my Sponsor, 'cos I need your help, your clarity, your thoughts on this craziness of mine. "...So trying to practise my OWN self confessed approach and letting go letting God this morning; and after a session of visual...	Suzannah	13	726	Jul 2, 2008 by Suzannah
	New priorities (Preview) Its incredible, the more I lean on HP, the less it matters what ANYONE does/doesn't do or says/doesn't say. I am taking things less and less personally with each passing month. The more I am gentle with myself, the more others are gentle towards me. The more I understand that we are each on our own journe...	Jean4444	6	520	Jul 2, 2008 by maire rua
	He is not my HP (Preview) Hi Alanoners, Sure feels like it sometimes. Just got off the phone with him - my AHSober. It takes us about 2 secs now to get into that circular conversation. I called to see if he could take the truck in for brakes and he says when are we going to sit down with the specifics about the divorce. He says you have...	nmike	5	583	Jul 2, 2008 by maire rua
	Miracles in my life...after the storm, a rainbow. (Preview) Love the miracles in my life...feel so much is happening as I accept more and more of what is in my life. Not fighting my life as much these days, and I am sure that is something to do with Alanon and practising the programme and reading and writing and sharing with this ((((family)))). Nothing stays the s...	Suzannah	8	596	Jul 2, 2008 by Suzannah
	His stinkin thinkin is startin, I think! (Preview) AH has been sober now for about 10 days, since losing his job (of over 20 years) due to his drunkeness 3 weeks ago. I'm sorry to say I have not kept up with the enforcement of my own boundaries. When he lost his job, I told him I would not leave him if he got sober, went to 90 meetings in 90 days and remained s...	queenie105	3	574	Jul 1, 2008 by debilyn
	How does this work? (Preview) I have no knowledge of how the court system operates: A got arrested May 22nd for public intoxication. At that time he apparently appeared before a judge. He doesn't remember doing so, but the paperwork he brought home indicates that he did. At that time he was given the date of June 25th (yesterday) to...	Diva	10	729	Jul 1, 2008 by ESH
	hi jen (Preview) I had tried to send this via private message a long time ago but it did not go through, I have had some trouble with sending intracomputer notes and usually have to cut and paste the email on my own email. I think it has something to do with my security computer system maybe? anyhoo below is the message fr...	junehouse	2	283	Jul 1, 2008 by junehouse
	I am DONE (Preview) I am done with it. I am done trying to be the only one trying to make our marriage work. I am done listening to him make drink after drink. I am done watching him drink. I am done watching how he is treating our wonderful children. I am done being treated like a child. I am done yelling. I am done crying. I am don...	Mabeleileen	9	451	Jul 1, 2008 by debilyn
	It's hard to keep the focus on myself (Preview) The thought of taking care of myself is rather foreign. I always believed that you put other people's needs ahead of your own, and that if you thought about yourself for any length of time it was not a good thing to do. I'm sure I adopted this behavior from watching my mother who catered to my father's (and...	AJ	8	590	Jul 1, 2008 by maresie
	different type of relationship (Preview) just want some advice on dealing with another anon or codependent who is not an A	notsonew1111	3	358	Jul 1, 2008 by maresie
	The opposites (Preview) Aloha Family!! I was asked in a PM to take the subject of "doing the opposites" out a bit further or to expand on what I had mentioned in a reply to a post earlier. In that post I had mentioned that I had learned "the opposites" from working with help from the program, sponsor and my th...	Jerry F	9	3085	Jul 1, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Thank-You!!!!!! (Preview) Thanks You to all of you for your prayers and concerns about the issue with my son and DIL. But mostly I need to thank my Higher Power-God is always in control and He is My Strength. My son called me tonite---yes we have issues to discuss-not on the phone he said, that's OK. I can see the grandkids and that...	meagain	1	296	Jul 1, 2008 by glad lee
	Trusting myself and HP's guidance (long) (Preview) Things have been going really well. I am hopeful, but still a bit reserved. AH had 10 months sober on the 27th and I told him last fall that I would not let him back in for at least a year. So our year is coming up in August, and I have at times recently felt pressured (by myself) to be ready to have him back at hom...	Jen	3	282	Jun 30, 2008 by serendipity
	Emotionally Drained (Preview) Hi, I feel like I am absolutely emotionally drained b/c of my AH. I can never do enough.......whether it is cleaning around the house, running errands, cooking, doing things w/ our daughter. I totally lost it this morning b/c I asked him if he could help me hang 1 thing up on the wall and he said he was too t...	jackie S	7	526	Jun 30, 2008 by kellia
	Newbie - Unclear on the Concept (Preview) My ABF keeps changing the scenery on me! At Christmas, he had a violent blackout, my own personal rock-bottom. First, he said he was stopping completely. 6 weeks later, at my request, he said he would not be drunk near me or the kids. At the beginning of June, after a night of drinking when he was verbally...	Sylvie66	6	474	Jun 30, 2008 by kellia
	frustrated: living w/a parttime active/trying to recover 'know it all' (Preview) I am so at the end of my rope here in Alabama! I don't mind saying where I live. My husband has been struggling with alcohol (plus other) addiction for the past 3 years. He has been to rehab twice and all of a sudden....even though he wavers back and forth between recovery and active add. he knows EVERYT...	kellia	8	602	Jun 30, 2008 by kellia
	playing reversies (Preview) A long time ago a friend used this word. I asked about it. It is a major tool in my life. Putting myself in anothers place and thinking how that may feel.It has made me ever so much more humble and loving. Used to be shy believe it or not. NO on really knew I played the role well I guess. But some thought my quie...	debilyn	7	1195	Jun 30, 2008 by debilyn
	Private Emails (Preview) Hi, I tried to figure out how to email someone privately but had no luck. Someone in the chat room told me to double click on the persons name, which I assumed meant that meant that when that person was talking in the meeting room. I'm not sure. Anyway, I tried to double click in the meeting room but nothin...	jackie S	3	281	Jun 30, 2008 by Mandy123
	Wonders are still and mysterious. (Preview) Aloha Family!! I have again had my belief in wise sayings validated. I've been around Al-Anon and AA for sometime and have seen lots of mysterious stuff. As I have related I was born and raised in this disease and know that it has affected lots of generations before me both as consumers and "dire...	Jerry F	6	561	Jun 30, 2008 by Suzannah
	How to face up to getting things done (Preview) At the moment, I am trying to complete a major piece of work. I had not contact my supervisor in this for a long time and he contacted me today. Finally I have faced up to this and instead of putting things off as I usually do, I told him my action plan and asked him what he needed me to do to fit into the criteria...	maire rua	2	415	Jun 30, 2008 by maresie
	My Mother-In-Law Doesn't Understand (Preview) My MIL called me at work today and we discussed my AH - poor decision on my part to engage in a conversation at work about him, especially with my MIL. She just doesn't "get it." She is heavily pressuring me to take him back. She accused me of drinking during our 5 year relationship. You drank,...	AJ	7	652	Jun 29, 2008 by wp
	My mothers drinking (Preview) Hey everyone, this is my first post so Im still figuring out how this all works. Both my parents were chronic alcoholics, my dad died a few years ago mostly attributed to alcohol. My mother stopped, drinking. Basically this entailed only drinking every other night. Both my parents were physically an...	mitch026	4	350	Jun 29, 2008 by debilyn
	Step one time for me! (Preview) I have made a pact with myself to post this today. I have been upset with things that are going on with my job and have been letting the stress of it spill over into my personal life. So not good for me. I decided yesterday to start looking for another job and to take all the upset at work as a signal from my h...	greta	2	443	Jun 29, 2008 by debilyn
	Dropped on My Head-and rightly so (Preview) Yesterday I was foolish enough to think that a corner had been turned. My A Son went home (off the steet) with his X Wednesday night. Yesterday she called to say they had been to the mental health clinic and as soon as they felt his body was clean, he would go back on Lithium. Today was supposed to be outpati...	laurab	5	421	Jun 29, 2008 by laurab
	Chat Room (Preview) I love the meetings in the chat room and I'm wondering...................... what goes on in the chat room after the meetings are over? I dont want to just "listen in" but I want to know what kind of things people talk about in the open chat room. I'd like to visit, but dont know what to expect....	jackie S	6	1069	Jun 29, 2008 by Tuggboat
	My family has gotten involved (Preview) Today, after allowing my alcoholic/drug abusing H back in, only a few days later, I have thrown him out. In the past couple of days, he has antogonized me, accused me of cheating on him, cornered me, threatened me... demand that I go to bed when he goes to bed (I enjoy watching tv late at nights alone by my...	jaysbaby	7	583	Jun 29, 2008 by Karilynn
	1st share need advice :blankstare: (Preview) This is my first share and I am struggling. My husband has been out of rehab for 21 days and everyday I am feeling our saga is coming closer to the end. He is completely shutting me out and I am not handling it well. I married him for better or worse for sickness or health I believe that when you are married yo...	mo14	5	483	Jun 28, 2008 by Jerry F
	Have a wonderful day. (Preview) Tea and Kismet, found your messages, Thank you, Bettina -- Edited by Bettina at 20:19, 2008-06-28 -- Edited by Bettina at 20:26, 2008-06-28	Bettina	4	465	Jun 28, 2008 by Bettina
	Doing 4th step (Preview) Hi has anyone ever had this problem?. I did a fourth step before ..but it wasn't really an honest one. I am now starting another five years later. I am trying to get a list of people I resent and can only come up with one person so far and that was just resent A month ago I was resenting all kinds of people and t...	nat2000	4	1264	Jun 28, 2008 by Tuggboat
	new and cant take it anymore (Preview) hi. i don't know much about doing this but i really need help. i have hit a bottom with my fear and i cant take it anymore. i cannot turn my will over to God, I am so afraid of life. If i let go of what my partner is doing, he will hurt me, we will end and my life will be over. i have been living with this for so lo...	annamae	5	416	Jun 28, 2008 by nmike
	Detaching From Family (Preview) Hi everyone, I haven't posted here in a while, tonight I just felt I wanted to be here are at MIP. I have recently had to detach from my son and daughter, it wasn't easy, although I know now it was the only other thing that I could do. I never thought I'd ever walk away from them both, but I have, I feel sad, but i...	Barbs45	6	406	Jun 28, 2008 by SuSUN
	Prayer request for son (Preview) (((((((friends)))))))))) My A, my son, has another court date set for July 1st. He is still doing very well, but this court date had to be set up because his probation is nearly over, but his fine is not paid in full due to his small income. He is representing himself, since he can't afford an attorney....	Lexie	5	299	Jun 28, 2008 by Lexie
	Husbands drinking... (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am new here and I am jumping in with both feet as I am stuck with a drinking hubby that is only getting worse and worse. He hears me, but says nothing in return. I am getting very lonely and keep busy with my work and family. We just dont spend time together anymore. When I ask him to watch a show...	SuSUN	6	430	Jun 28, 2008 by SuSUN
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.