Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Today I tackled the college text book problem. Because the campus is 40 miles away, and all my faxed and emails to the book store last week went unanswered, I did drive the Nissan as all my program friends work during the day. When I got home, I handed the keys back over to AD and walked off. I started off wit...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

My plate overfloweth and then some. The 20 year old AD poked and poked at me and I finally blew. I am in a bad spot right now. I finally have my disability hearing the 16th of next month. It's a long drawn out process. I do get some help from Social Services, but if it wasn't for my dad, I'd be homeless. That 'he...

suzip · suzip

My AH has to turn himself in for 6 months jail term for his 3rd dui. He has been turning himself in every week, then finds reasons not to go. Each time he decides to go, he gets a call for a short time job(union worker)and he takes it. For 3 days, the weekend, whatever.While we certainly need the money I can't...

maresie · maresie

One of the chronic unremitting pressures I have at the moment is debt. Right now I owe everyone, the landlord, the credit cards, the phone company, the bills. I have worked myself into the ground over the past year (last week I worked 60 plus hours) and got very little headway with any of the debts. I am...

mslouise · mslouise

I had a great f2f meeting last night! It was empowering! We got to laughing so hard we were almost in tears. The longer members shared so many stories of strengh and hope from their time in Al-Anon, it was wonderful! It's meetings like this that can give you the strength you need to make your lif...

buick23 · buick23

It becomes clearer to me everyday how selfish my abfsober really is. It's all about him. If he doesn't get his way he trows a fit like a little child. I am just getting over a cold, stayed home yesterday because of it. He walked into the house and the first thing he did was complain he had nowhere to sit (beca...

momof3 · momof3

I am new to this site, but have found comfort in viewing all of the posts. I am the mother of three children and the wife of an alcoholic. Five weeks ago I asked my husband to leave after he had taken most of my pain medication after a recent surgery. I know he is drinking also. He was in rehab last summer for...

codependent_who_knew · codependent_who_knew

Hi everyone...... So, I am coming back here as my AH is now out of rehab and in his sober living home, checked in yesterday I guess....still hasnt been home to see the kids and asked ME to pack all of his things......hardest thing I have EVER done..... As I mentioned before, he decided after he went into tr...

maresie · maresie

I am coming up to the one year mark of finally giving up on the A. Through separation, through trying to get him back on his feet, through numerous, countless crises, I eventually got to the point one year ago where I gave up and focused on me. I had to be here years to have the strength to do it. I have to say...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well, my dinner last night with my ex's brother went extremely well. I really had a nice time. My boyfriend and he got along so well. The dinner lasted for 4 1/2 hours! Basically catching up on whats been going on in our lives for the past few months, talking about all sorts of things. My boyfriend order...

mslouise · mslouise

I would like to get some opinions on this. My bfsober got laid off recently. We do live together. After his rehab, he did start his job back and was very willing to help pay the bills, as he should, and he did. He has been very good with his money lately. Helping, not spending alot, etc. I hav...

Codependent · Codependent

Anyone done any reading on this personality disorder? Reading some today and it sounds very similar to A.

ddub · ddub

I learn so much from all the esh on this board. The way it compounds or ripples into help for so many we will never know of - isn't that something. I do have a question I keep turning over in my head so maybe some discussion will help me along with this riddle. In a real or maybe too perfect world, if spouse...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I think one of the hardest things a person can do is seriously take responsibility for themselves. To honestly look at the train wreck they are in and acknowledge their part. I am doing this right now and its not pretty. I am (hopefully) at the end of an increasingly acrimonious divorce and I can see that...

Christy · Christy

Been there done that. I earned the t-shirt for all the "topic feelings"... I absolutely cringe at those feelings and how they make me feel. They made me dislike "me". There is alot of the "topic feelings" here and understandably so. Living with anyone's addict...

lilms · lilms

(((((MIP Family))))))) It has been a long time. Due to a computer with an attitude I was offline for quite a bit. Hopefully the attitude adjustment has worked. I have missed you all and the wonderful words of wisdom I find here. Life is much the same. The A relapsed and is still in that space. Actually...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, the A has been staying at his brother's as you know. When I thought he was going to stay here I freaked out, but then when he didn't my feelings were hurt. go figure. The latest "hurt" is that the one night he did come over to see his son we all 3 slept downstairs. He and I on the two couche...

mom1973 · mom1973

I have'nt been on this board for quite a long time. I realized a while back that nothing I could say or do would help my A. After several attemps with recovery programs the coronor and pleading I gave up. My daughter died on April 1st 2008. May she rest now in peace and comfort. The abuse of alcohol destroye...

Gailey · Gailey

just don't know if this is the right place. I figure that I am not just the mother of an A but also the daughter of an A. Therfore my life was affected way before the son came aong. My marriage is in trouble and I don't feel like I want to or have the desire to keep on trying to make it better. I am scared of being wi...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

We had our annual AA/Al-Anon Conference here in town this past weekend and all in all it was a great conference. The speakers were great and it was good to see people again that we see only once a year. Saturday was a full day and we were enjoying ourselves a lot. At the banquet that evening I had a panic at...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

As some may recall, I was tossing thoughts about in my head about contacting my ex ABF to see how he was doing in rehab. While ultimately I decided not to call him directly, I did email his brother (who I was always close with) to get an update. Apparently my ex is doing 'ok' although according to his brot...

shawn306 · shawn306

and I have no idea how I am going to handle it right now. Things have not been good between us recently because he basically stops drinking when we come down and then starts right back up as soon as we leave. This has been the trend now for over a year. He "recognizes" that he has a problem but will...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

I knew it would be too good to be true. Last sunday I asked him to lend me some money so I could pay for my college fee's. He said yeah but then went on a bender and spent all his wages (which I didnt know about till I was ready to pay the fee's). Anyway that night he told me he let me down and he got upset and he said h...

kissers · kissers

Hi everyone, I don't know if anyone has the opportunity to watch Oprah today, but Gavin de Becker (I think that is his name) will be on the show to talk about fear warning us to protect ourselves. FEAR is not always false evidence appearing real. Sometimes it is a warning. He will be discussing how to know...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Two of my college classes started yesterday. My youngest had done some online classes through an adult education center, and they used the Blackboard system. I had also taken a few online courses through University of Phoenix. Yesterday once I got logged on, I was overwhelmed! I am a very computer li...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

At a meeting last week a newcomer asked how do I explain the disease of alcoholism to a 12 year old boy. This boy has been raised by his grandparents and has a lot of anger and resentment built up against his mother. Any ideas on how to do this so that the young man will understand?

suzim · suzim

with your addict?

Codependent · Codependent

This morning I keep thinking about how my A thinks I am neurotic. He always comments on how "bad" I feel about everything and how I worry all the time, etc. The times we have used together- not that distant past- I have always started feeling guilty soon after (the next morning) and often cri...

round3 · round3

Okay Family, my A will be back in this country and at my house in seven days. I'm excited, and scared, and happy, and NERVOUS. It's been 11 years since I've seen him, and there's been lots of water under the bridge since then. In these 11 years, I've learned about strength and forgiveness. I've learn...

dnlmangels · dnlmangels

Hello everyone! I am so happy to find this forum. I have been in and out of Al-anon for 15 years. Course by in and out that means I am pretty sick. As soon as the Alcoholic gets his life together, I am out the door..... stupid! stupid! I was introduced to Al-anon when my dad sobered up years ago. I was raised...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, I have now gone 24 hours without calling the A since he didn't come to watch movies last night or even call to say he wasn't coming. I know he had child support court this morning and from his mother I know he went. However, I have not called him or his friends,etc, to find out what happened. It is sca...

debilyn · debilyn

Finally after a year of wondering about the A, and back to crying over love songs.....missing my husband, I listened to my heart and went to see him. I had no expectations. All I knew was I could not call him, and I am sure he is not opening my letters. Needed to get a dose to get me to see again,that my AH who u...

Codependent · Codependent

I do understand that everyone gets tired of the same story- especially my family. I also hope that I am not taking advantage of this board by venting every situation that comes up. But, it's like as soon as they are happening I think about telling you guys to get your feedback. However, I know you all g...

suzip · suzip

I have been spending weekends at the beach with friends trying to escape from the rollercoaster life I live with my AH. How more relaxed can you get then looking out at the ocean, listening to the waves, how can you not smile? When I ran my 4 miles in the morning yesterday, I couldn't get rid of my stinkin th...

Codependent · Codependent

I took the bait today. He called and "pretended" to be jealous that I didn't call him all weekend etc,.. Told his mom he thought I was seeing someone else though he told me he didn't care who I was sleeping with in a nasty tone. I told him I thought we had better conversations in jail. He said...

maresie · maresie

I am one year out from letting the A go. Last September I had finally had it and found a place (albeit barely on survival) and cut my losses with the A. Well I took huge huge losses. But I took on both my dogs and just let go (sigh!). Of course I still helped him some after that but it was not to be for much longe...

Reaching Out · Reaching Out

I haven't been to this group for a long time. I'm not a group person, mainly a loner. I married a recovering alcoholic 26 years ago. One of the foundations of our marriage was that he remain sober, and so he did for 18 of those. I couldn't have asked for a kinder man, a more trustworthy partner, or bette...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I took the kids camping without AH. I told him if he wanted he could catch up. He said he would come later and bring the dog. He did not show up for night #1. I drove to the nearest town next afternoon to check me messages. He happened to walk by my car. He was arrested at 2am the night before in that town for DUI....

kitty · kitty

Ok, this is off topic but I received this from my mom and it put a big smile on my face and made me feel happy. Take 2 minutes out of your day & you'll feel better too! http://worriersanonymous.org/Share/OnlyYou.htm

Tracy · Tracy

I am so confused I am not sure if my bf is an A or its something else he drinks but can stop after a couple the problem is he has always been very rebellious he drinks when things are bad but then takes coke this leads to the problems i can not live with e.g mood swings no money missing for days etc. I am not sure i...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Third times a charm. Twice today I wiped out my post with a quick flick of my fingers. Frustrating! My son is 15 and addicted to sugar. I do not keep soda in the house and I have very little junk food. Given his age and his associations, however, he has access to and consumes a lot. He also loves caffiene and p...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Its been 11 days since I spoke with my ex A b/f, now "friend from a distance". As you may recall, I took the advice from members on this board to detatch for a weekend and do things for me. Well, I have to admit this 'doing things for me' is GREAT. These past 11 days have been relaxing, fun, stre...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Boy howdy do I get a curve ball thrown into the works at times. This is the direct result of my youngest, who, when not binge drinking (which she doesn't come home when she's doing that as she knows my boundaries), insists on hooking back up with ex BFs that apparently she has memory loss of why they were an...

Suzannah · Suzannah

...Hello family...this is just a quickie as I am not in a position to talk with you as I would really like to at this moment in time. The situation with my daughter and her financee and here children has gone from bad to worse and, all the good intentions I had to give her and her boyfriend time out to get to kn...

suzip · suzip

I have been spending weekends at the beach with friends trying to escape from the rollercoaster life I live with my AH. How more relaxed can you get then looking out at the ocean, listening to the waves, how can you not smile? When I ran my 4 miles in the morning yesterday, I couldn't get rid of my stinkin th...

mslouise · mslouise

Well, I made it to work today. Almost called in sick but didn't. That, I can say, is a big progress for myself. I did not sleep one ounce last night and frankly have been down lately, but I pulled myself up and here I am. I spent the weekend on my first snorkling trip ever with my Abfsober. I was ve...

charlescharles · charlescharles

hello folks..its been a while i'm sitting here in a sort of amazed confusion as my a..who went out last night and got lit...who threatened suicide last week...is now asking me if i think she would make a good mother and if we could try and have a baby together i feel like she is out of here mind at this point y...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, The update on my step mother's illness is that all wish to keep her at home as long as possible. I do the washing and collecting at airports. We are very cordial with one another and though I feel pain at the situation, I practise detaching. I went to the seaside yesterday for a break which was gre...

teddybearpoet · teddybearpoet

Ok.. Its been a VERY looooooooooong time since i have done this.. I have missed coming to chat and to the posting boards.. however.. back to topic.. I have been feeling really lost lately.. have been having alot of feelings up all at once.. yesterday i journaled one page about it.. saying how i was not o...

nmike · nmike

Just checked my e-mail today after being out of town for several days. I had given up on this job because it is going on 4 weeks since I turned my application in. This job reopened so this is the second time around. So I have an interview next Friday. Woohoo! I haven't interviewed in years. I did buy a new out...

marchgrl · marchgrl

Hi Everyone! I used to be a member of this board years back and I just wanted to say hello to everyone! A little bit about me.... I was raised with an alcoholic mother. I became an alcoholic myself at age 18. I have been battling addiction/sobriety since age 27 when I vowed to quit. I have relapsed sinc...

Codependent · Codependent

Yes, I am still sitting here obsessing. I know I have to stop this. I think he can feel it and why I care what he thinks we all know. I want to be different, but I think I want to be different because I think this will earn a positive reaction from him. You know what I mean? I want to stop calling him, but par...

Gailey · Gailey

This morning my youger son and dil left for Japan to live for the next 3 years. They will come back for a visit Christmas 2009. My son is in the Navy and he met his wife in Japan when he was stationed there before. He will be on sea duty for this time. I am happy that she can be with her family while he is out to sea....

MotherTeresa · MotherTeresa

Okay, am obsessing, needing to vent, phew, working on not enabling. So when my son calls back about,losing wallet, car towed and, no ID at present to retrieve it. We(husband and me) had agreed...after many situations like this, we would not just send money etc. Anyhow, after husband spoke somewh...

codependent_who_knew · codependent_who_knew

My husband and I have been married for 6 years, together 7 and have two beautiful children together. We are soulmates.....when we met, we just knew,. Well, ong story short, we both have had crappy childhoods and we vowed to never allow that with ours.....He was using Vicodin about 5.5 years ago and wen...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Maybe this post should have been titled, two steps forward, one step back....Anyway, I went to work this morning, and if any of you read my post last night, you know I went there alone. No idea when abf came home from his walk, dont really care, I slept. Called him on my way home from work, he was happy, in...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Just when you think things are gonna blow up, he apologizes Just when you think you are gonna go stir crazy, he suggests a walk Just when you think you are getting old, he brings out the child in you Just when you think its gonna be a lousy day, he makes you smile... Funny, this was not my hp, it was my abf. If...

mcca9014 · mcca9014

Hi i am new here, but not new to al-anon. I have a 14 year old in recovery. I am proud of him but it is a hard road. He said his biggist problem is boredom. I have to work and so he has been alone a lot especially this week. He relapsed last night after 29 days. I am so disappointed and I am jealous of other moms who...

liljeannie · liljeannie

As I gain emotional independece from my A, my financial situation is sooo completely dependent upon him. I hate this. I hate having to bite my tongue so that this doesnt get thrown in my face. Today I went to lunch with two of my sons, who are grown and live with their dad, early 20's, a friend, and her son...

twinkie · twinkie

its been a while since I've posted.... and I find myself totally stressed out, irritable and trying to force solutions... I was doing so well, so what happened? In a very stressful job with a lot of intensity - lots of politics - it gets to be too mcuh for me. Lots of folks work non-stop and on the weekends...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Depending on myself (Preview) Today I tackled the college text book problem. Because the campus is 40 miles away, and all my faxed and emails to the book store last week went unanswered, I did drive the Nissan as all my program friends work during the day. When I got home, I handed the keys back over to AD and walked off. I started off wit...	Tenderheartsks	5	559	Aug 21, 2008 by Jen
	I blew today and now I feel like falling apart. (Preview) My plate overfloweth and then some. The 20 year old AD poked and poked at me and I finally blew. I am in a bad spot right now. I finally have my disability hearing the 16th of next month. It's a long drawn out process. I do get some help from Social Services, but if it wasn't for my dad, I'd be homeless. That 'he...	Tenderheartsks	9	680	Aug 21, 2008 by Jean4444
	how many times to say goodbye? (Preview) My AH has to turn himself in for 6 months jail term for his 3rd dui. He has been turning himself in every week, then finds reasons not to go. Each time he decides to go, he gets a call for a short time job(union worker)and he takes it. For 3 days, the weekend, whatever.While we certainly need the money I can't...	suzip	2	670	Aug 21, 2008 by abbyal
	putting the pressure on myself (Preview) One of the chronic unremitting pressures I have at the moment is debt. Right now I owe everyone, the landlord, the credit cards, the phone company, the bills. I have worked myself into the ground over the past year (last week I worked 60 plus hours) and got very little headway with any of the debts. I am...	maresie	3	516	Aug 21, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	What does Al-Anon do for you? (Preview) I had a great f2f meeting last night! It was empowering! We got to laughing so hard we were almost in tears. The longer members shared so many stories of strengh and hope from their time in Al-Anon, it was wonderful! It's meetings like this that can give you the strength you need to make your lif...	mslouise	8	1051	Aug 21, 2008 by Peggy7
	selfish behaviour (Preview) It becomes clearer to me everyday how selfish my abfsober really is. It's all about him. If he doesn't get his way he trows a fit like a little child. I am just getting over a cold, stayed home yesterday because of it. He walked into the house and the first thing he did was complain he had nowhere to sit (beca...	buick23	6	655	Aug 21, 2008 by liljeannie
	New to site.......need advice (Preview) I am new to this site, but have found comfort in viewing all of the posts. I am the mother of three children and the wife of an alcoholic. Five weeks ago I asked my husband to leave after he had taken most of my pain medication after a recent surgery. I know he is drinking also. He was in rehab last summer for...	momof3	7	705	Aug 21, 2008 by momof3
	Not getting any easier........ (Preview) Hi everyone...... So, I am coming back here as my AH is now out of rehab and in his sober living home, checked in yesterday I guess....still hasnt been home to see the kids and asked ME to pack all of his things......hardest thing I have EVER done..... As I mentioned before, he decided after he went into tr...	codependent_who_knew	8	744	Aug 21, 2008 by Jen
	Exhaustion one year later (Preview) I am coming up to the one year mark of finally giving up on the A. Through separation, through trying to get him back on his feet, through numerous, countless crises, I eventually got to the point one year ago where I gave up and focused on me. I had to be here years to have the strength to do it. I have to say...	maresie	6	655	Aug 21, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Dinner went unsurprisingly well! (Preview) Well, my dinner last night with my ex's brother went extremely well. I really had a nice time. My boyfriend and he got along so well. The dinner lasted for 4 1/2 hours! Basically catching up on whats been going on in our lives for the past few months, talking about all sorts of things. My boyfriend order...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	0	453	Aug 21, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	Need you opinion on this - help or not??? (Preview) I would like to get some opinions on this. My bfsober got laid off recently. We do live together. After his rehab, he did start his job back and was very willing to help pay the bills, as he should, and he did. He has been very good with his money lately. Helping, not spending alot, etc. I hav...	mslouise	6	601	Aug 21, 2008 by mslouise
	Narcissists (Preview) Anyone done any reading on this personality disorder? Reading some today and it sounds very similar to A.	Codependent	12	2288	Aug 21, 2008 by junehouse
	old & new behaviors battling in my head (Preview) I learn so much from all the esh on this board. The way it compounds or ripples into help for so many we will never know of - isn't that something. I do have a question I keep turning over in my head so maybe some discussion will help me along with this riddle. In a real or maybe too perfect world, if spouse...	ddub	4	689	Aug 21, 2008 by ddub
	Putting my attention right back where it belongs...on ME (Preview) I think one of the hardest things a person can do is seriously take responsibility for themselves. To honestly look at the train wreck they are in and acknowledge their part. I am doing this right now and its not pretty. I am (hopefully) at the end of an increasingly acrimonious divorce and I can see that...	Jean4444	7	722	Aug 20, 2008 by nmike
	Stress, anger, frustration, loathing and confusion.. (pull up a chair) (Preview) Been there done that. I earned the t-shirt for all the "topic feelings"... I absolutely cringe at those feelings and how they make me feel. They made me dislike "me". There is alot of the "topic feelings" here and understandably so. Living with anyone's addict...	Christy	9	783	Aug 20, 2008 by kismetstrand
	A BIG hug for all--been missing this place (Preview) (((((MIP Family))))))) It has been a long time. Due to a computer with an attitude I was offline for quite a bit. Hopefully the attitude adjustment has worked. I have missed you all and the wonderful words of wisdom I find here. Life is much the same. The A relapsed and is still in that space. Actually...	lilms	6	574	Aug 20, 2008 by Leetle
	His Criticism (Preview) Well, the A has been staying at his brother's as you know. When I thought he was going to stay here I freaked out, but then when he didn't my feelings were hurt. go figure. The latest "hurt" is that the one night he did come over to see his son we all 3 slept downstairs. He and I on the two couche...	Codependent	3	845	Aug 20, 2008 by lilms
	Sad newa for me (Preview) I have'nt been on this board for quite a long time. I realized a while back that nothing I could say or do would help my A. After several attemps with recovery programs the coronor and pleading I gave up. My daughter died on April 1st 2008. May she rest now in peace and comfort. The abuse of alcohol destroye...	mom1973	17	1406	Aug 20, 2008 by maresie
	a need to vent my feelings somewhere...... (Preview) just don't know if this is the right place. I figure that I am not just the mother of an A but also the daughter of an A. Therfore my life was affected way before the son came aong. My marriage is in trouble and I don't feel like I want to or have the desire to keep on trying to make it better. I am scared of being wi...	Gailey	8	835	Aug 20, 2008 by Karilynn
	Projecting-expecting the worst (Preview) We had our annual AA/Al-Anon Conference here in town this past weekend and all in all it was a great conference. The speakers were great and it was good to see people again that we see only once a year. Saturday was a full day and we were enjoying ourselves a lot. At the banquet that evening I had a panic at...	Mobirdie	8	789	Aug 20, 2008 by kitty
	My letter was well received (Preview) As some may recall, I was tossing thoughts about in my head about contacting my ex ABF to see how he was doing in rehab. While ultimately I decided not to call him directly, I did email his brother (who I was always close with) to get an update. Apparently my ex is doing 'ok' although according to his brot...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	2	574	Aug 20, 2008 by kitty
	Seeing my AD Labor Day Weekend... (Preview) and I have no idea how I am going to handle it right now. Things have not been good between us recently because he basically stops drinking when we come down and then starts right back up as soon as we leave. This has been the trend now for over a year. He "recognizes" that he has a problem but will...	shawn306	5	744	Aug 20, 2008 by shawn306
	Too good to be true (Preview) I knew it would be too good to be true. Last sunday I asked him to lend me some money so I could pay for my college fee's. He said yeah but then went on a bender and spent all his wages (which I didnt know about till I was ready to pay the fee's). Anyway that night he told me he let me down and he got upset and he said h...	mum2leahnjosh	8	550	Aug 20, 2008 by maire rua
	Gift of Fear (Preview) Hi everyone, I don't know if anyone has the opportunity to watch Oprah today, but Gavin de Becker (I think that is his name) will be on the show to talk about fear warning us to protect ourselves. FEAR is not always false evidence appearing real. Sometimes it is a warning. He will be discussing how to know...	kissers	5	602	Aug 20, 2008 by Lady
	Having faith in myself (Preview) Two of my college classes started yesterday. My youngest had done some online classes through an adult education center, and they used the Blackboard system. I had also taken a few online courses through University of Phoenix. Yesterday once I got logged on, I was overwhelmed! I am a very computer li...	Tenderheartsks	6	760	Aug 20, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	How do I explain the disease (Preview) At a meeting last week a newcomer asked how do I explain the disease of alcoholism to a 12 year old boy. This boy has been raised by his grandparents and has a lot of anger and resentment built up against his mother. Any ideas on how to do this so that the young man will understand?	Mobirdie	6	639	Aug 20, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Why do you stay..... (Preview) with your addict?	suzim	16	796	Aug 19, 2008 by Loupiness
	Neurotic (Preview) This morning I keep thinking about how my A thinks I am neurotic. He always comments on how "bad" I feel about everything and how I worry all the time, etc. The times we have used together- not that distant past- I have always started feeling guilty soon after (the next morning) and often cri...	Codependent	4	3259	Aug 19, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Seeking last minute advice (Preview) Okay Family, my A will be back in this country and at my house in seven days. I'm excited, and scared, and happy, and NERVOUS. It's been 11 years since I've seen him, and there's been lots of water under the bridge since then. In these 11 years, I've learned about strength and forgiveness. I've learn...	round3	9	742	Aug 19, 2008 by round3
	Even after all these years (Preview) Hello everyone! I am so happy to find this forum. I have been in and out of Al-anon for 15 years. Course by in and out that means I am pretty sick. As soon as the Alcoholic gets his life together, I am out the door..... stupid! stupid! I was introduced to Al-anon when my dad sobered up years ago. I was raised...	dnlmangels	3	618	Aug 19, 2008 by Peggy7
	24 hours "clean" (Preview) Well, I have now gone 24 hours without calling the A since he didn't come to watch movies last night or even call to say he wasn't coming. I know he had child support court this morning and from his mother I know he went. However, I have not called him or his friends,etc, to find out what happened. It is sca...	Codependent	5	581	Aug 19, 2008 by maresie
	Finally....reality! (Preview) Finally after a year of wondering about the A, and back to crying over love songs.....missing my husband, I listened to my heart and went to see him. I had no expectations. All I knew was I could not call him, and I am sure he is not opening my letters. Needed to get a dose to get me to see again,that my AH who u...	debilyn	7	645	Aug 19, 2008 by junehouse
	What is the proper tool here? (Preview) I do understand that everyone gets tired of the same story- especially my family. I also hope that I am not taking advantage of this board by venting every situation that comes up. But, it's like as soon as they are happening I think about telling you guys to get your feedback. However, I know you all g...	Codependent	7	696	Aug 19, 2008 by maresie
	Back to Reality (Preview) I have been spending weekends at the beach with friends trying to escape from the rollercoaster life I live with my AH. How more relaxed can you get then looking out at the ocean, listening to the waves, how can you not smile? When I ran my 4 miles in the morning yesterday, I couldn't get rid of my stinkin th...	suzip	1	370	Aug 19, 2008 by Jen
	Sorry it's just the same old post (Preview) I took the bait today. He called and "pretended" to be jealous that I didn't call him all weekend etc,.. Told his mom he thought I was seeing someone else though he told me he didn't care who I was sleeping with in a nasty tone. I told him I thought we had better conversations in jail. He said...	Codependent	8	636	Aug 19, 2008 by maresie
	one year on reality is hard! (Preview) I am one year out from letting the A go. Last September I had finally had it and found a place (albeit barely on survival) and cut my losses with the A. Well I took huge huge losses. But I took on both my dogs and just let go (sigh!). Of course I still helped him some after that but it was not to be for much longe...	maresie	7	587	Aug 19, 2008 by maresie
	When love dies (Preview) I haven't been to this group for a long time. I'm not a group person, mainly a loner. I married a recovering alcoholic 26 years ago. One of the foundations of our marriage was that he remain sober, and so he did for 18 of those. I couldn't have asked for a kinder man, a more trustworthy partner, or bette...	Reaching Out	14	788	Aug 19, 2008 by gaelle
	to woe or not to woe (Preview) I took the kids camping without AH. I told him if he wanted he could catch up. He said he would come later and bring the dog. He did not show up for night #1. I drove to the nearest town next afternoon to check me messages. He happened to walk by my car. He was arrested at 2am the night before in that town for DUI....	RainyJamie	12	782	Aug 19, 2008 by Jean4444
	Feel Happier Right Now (Preview) Ok, this is off topic but I received this from my mom and it put a big smile on my face and made me feel happy. Take 2 minutes out of your day & you'll feel better too! http://worriersanonymous.org/Share/OnlyYou.htm	kitty	1	471	Aug 19, 2008 by J.R.
	scared (Preview) I am so confused I am not sure if my bf is an A or its something else he drinks but can stop after a couple the problem is he has always been very rebellious he drinks when things are bad but then takes coke this leads to the problems i can not live with e.g mood swings no money missing for days etc. I am not sure i...	Tracy	4	584	Aug 18, 2008 by nmike
	addiction in its infancy? (Preview) Third times a charm. Twice today I wiped out my post with a quick flick of my fingers. Frustrating! My son is 15 and addicted to sugar. I do not keep soda in the house and I have very little junk food. Given his age and his associations, however, he has access to and consumes a lot. He also loves caffiene and p...	Loupiness	5	451	Aug 18, 2008 by nmike
	11 days and counting (Preview) Its been 11 days since I spoke with my ex A b/f, now "friend from a distance". As you may recall, I took the advice from members on this board to detatch for a weekend and do things for me. Well, I have to admit this 'doing things for me' is GREAT. These past 11 days have been relaxing, fun, stre...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	2	481	Aug 18, 2008 by maresie
	Staying focused on me and my goals (Preview) Boy howdy do I get a curve ball thrown into the works at times. This is the direct result of my youngest, who, when not binge drinking (which she doesn't come home when she's doing that as she knows my boundaries), insists on hooking back up with ex BFs that apparently she has memory loss of why they were an...	Tenderheartsks	4	630	Aug 18, 2008 by maresie
	Back to step one AGAIN...and feeling so very very low... (Preview) ...Hello family...this is just a quickie as I am not in a position to talk with you as I would really like to at this moment in time. The situation with my daughter and her financee and here children has gone from bad to worse and, all the good intentions I had to give her and her boyfriend time out to get to kn...	Suzannah	4	585	Aug 18, 2008 by maresie
	Back to Reality (Preview) I have been spending weekends at the beach with friends trying to escape from the rollercoaster life I live with my AH. How more relaxed can you get then looking out at the ocean, listening to the waves, how can you not smile? When I ran my 4 miles in the morning yesterday, I couldn't get rid of my stinkin th...	suzip	0	400	Aug 18, 2008 by suzip
	Figuring things out! (Preview) Well, I made it to work today. Almost called in sick but didn't. That, I can say, is a big progress for myself. I did not sleep one ounce last night and frankly have been down lately, but I pulled myself up and here I am. I spent the weekend on my first snorkling trip ever with my Abfsober. I was ve...	mslouise	1	445	Aug 18, 2008 by suzip
	new topic (Preview) hello folks..its been a while i'm sitting here in a sort of amazed confusion as my a..who went out last night and got lit...who threatened suicide last week...is now asking me if i think she would make a good mother and if we could try and have a baby together i feel like she is out of here mind at this point y...	charlescharles	5	1014	Aug 18, 2008 by maresie
	Practicing detaching (Preview) Dear All, The update on my step mother's illness is that all wish to keep her at home as long as possible. I do the washing and collecting at airports. We are very cordial with one another and though I feel pain at the situation, I practise detaching. I went to the seaside yesterday for a break which was gre...	maire rua	2	616	Aug 18, 2008 by maresie
	Where do i go from here???? (Preview) Ok.. Its been a VERY looooooooooong time since i have done this.. I have missed coming to chat and to the posting boards.. however.. back to topic.. I have been feeling really lost lately.. have been having alot of feelings up all at once.. yesterday i journaled one page about it.. saying how i was not o...	teddybearpoet	5	561	Aug 18, 2008 by Maria123
	I have an job interview (Preview) Just checked my e-mail today after being out of town for several days. I had given up on this job because it is going on 4 weeks since I turned my application in. This job reopened so this is the second time around. So I have an interview next Friday. Woohoo! I haven't interviewed in years. I did buy a new out...	nmike	12	729	Aug 18, 2008 by maire rua
	I'm Back! (Preview) Hi Everyone! I used to be a member of this board years back and I just wanted to say hello to everyone! A little bit about me.... I was raised with an alcoholic mother. I became an alcoholic myself at age 18. I have been battling addiction/sobriety since age 27 when I vowed to quit. I have relapsed sinc...	marchgrl	2	474	Aug 17, 2008 by cookie1971
	Confrontation (Preview) Yes, I am still sitting here obsessing. I know I have to stop this. I think he can feel it and why I care what he thinks we all know. I want to be different, but I think I want to be different because I think this will earn a positive reaction from him. You know what I mean? I want to stop calling him, but par...	Codependent	2	582	Aug 17, 2008 by Tracy
	a little sad today (Preview) This morning my youger son and dil left for Japan to live for the next 3 years. They will come back for a visit Christmas 2009. My son is in the Navy and he met his wife in Japan when he was stationed there before. He will be on sea duty for this time. I am happy that she can be with her family while he is out to sea....	Gailey	4	517	Aug 17, 2008 by Karilynn
	Frustration with blame-shifting son (Preview) Okay, am obsessing, needing to vent, phew, working on not enabling. So when my son calls back about,losing wallet, car towed and, no ID at present to retrieve it. We(husband and me) had agreed...after many situations like this, we would not just send money etc. Anyhow, after husband spoke somewh...	MotherTeresa	2	550	Aug 17, 2008 by joyoma
	New to this, not sure how this work, wondering if anyone has experienced this before? (Preview) My husband and I have been married for 6 years, together 7 and have two beautiful children together. We are soulmates.....when we met, we just knew,. Well, ong story short, we both have had crappy childhoods and we vowed to never allow that with ours.....He was using Vicodin about 5.5 years ago and wen...	codependent_who_knew	12	600	Aug 17, 2008 by liljeannie
	Tears and Swears (Preview) Maybe this post should have been titled, two steps forward, one step back....Anyway, I went to work this morning, and if any of you read my post last night, you know I went there alone. No idea when abf came home from his walk, dont really care, I slept. Called him on my way home from work, he was happy, in...	liljeannie	1	467	Aug 16, 2008 by ddub
	Just when you think.... (Preview) Just when you think things are gonna blow up, he apologizes Just when you think you are gonna go stir crazy, he suggests a walk Just when you think you are getting old, he brings out the child in you Just when you think its gonna be a lousy day, he makes you smile... Funny, this was not my hp, it was my abf. If...	liljeannie	3	516	Aug 16, 2008 by Sincerely
	mom of teen in recovery (Preview) Hi i am new here, but not new to al-anon. I have a 14 year old in recovery. I am proud of him but it is a hard road. He said his biggist problem is boredom. I have to work and so he has been alone a lot especially this week. He relapsed last night after 29 days. I am so disappointed and I am jealous of other moms who...	mcca9014	3	572	Aug 16, 2008 by mcca9014
	the beginning of the end (Preview) As I gain emotional independece from my A, my financial situation is sooo completely dependent upon him. I hate this. I hate having to bite my tongue so that this doesnt get thrown in my face. Today I went to lunch with two of my sons, who are grown and live with their dad, early 20's, a friend, and her son...	liljeannie	3	665	Aug 16, 2008 by maresie
	in a bad place (Preview) its been a while since I've posted.... and I find myself totally stressed out, irritable and trying to force solutions... I was doing so well, so what happened? In a very stressful job with a lot of intensity - lots of politics - it gets to be too mcuh for me. Lots of folks work non-stop and on the weekends...	twinkie	2	553	Aug 16, 2008 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.