Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lilms · lilms

((((((MIP Family)))) Haven't been around much in the last few months but sure have missed you all. Debilyin, you asked for an update of my adventures. I was laughing so hard trying to think of some. We have basically just been living life at my end of the world. Trying very hard not to focus on the A. So...

codependent_who_knew · codependent_who_knew

Frustrated this morning, got a text from my AH and as he is in the sober living home a week now, hasnt seen the kids, its almost a month now and my poor 6 yr old and 3 yr old are sick with not understanding...... I just keep telling them Daddy is away and God is making him feel better inside, he loves you and miss...

joyoma · joyoma

That phrase of accepting what I cannot change always has troubled me. My entire life, and I am now an old 66, I plunged right in and changed things I wanted changed (for the most part). I was independent and strong, positive, and successful in most everything I ever did. I had a pretty wonderful family l...

olg1213 · olg1213

I have read some of the threads and have gone to a few meetings and I know that I am still new, but noone talks about the anger. My husband is an active A, the longest he has gone without drinking is about thirty days after he smashed our new car, while drunk. He can be verbally abusive,and now the verbal a...

liljeannie · liljeannie

After reading and replying to some posts on dry drunks, I realized that I am in need of some esh myself. My abf has been sober for, well, I really dont know how long now, basically cuz I am no longer keeping tabs on his behavior. Things around here keep getting weirder and weirder. I feel like I am living wi...

liljeannie · liljeannie

After a particularly stressful week, I have been taking some time to take stock in what is going on in my life and around my home. Im not happy wth it. I know it is up to me to change it, and I am trying sooo hard to do it. I feel like my hands are tied right now and that makes me angry. I almost feel like I am bac...

Suzannah · Suzannah

DO I consider: My cup to be half full, or half empty? My successes or my failures most of all? That my life has been well spent, or misused? That I am the sum of all my past experiences and therefore cannot improve, or do I consider myself capable of learning from my past in order to better my future? That lif...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Hey all, I have found two problems with my dating discomforts... First is answering questions about what happened to my last relationship... I find myself not wanting to explain anymore why he doesn't see the kids (he's in jail) or why we split up (he's a heroin addict). On one date in particular they...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I'm just continually running and not meeting the needs of anyone, particularly myself. I even feel behind in this program. Reading my literature is a speed reading adventure. Can't get all the posts read, let alone get it together to respond. Here I am posting at 4:30 a.m. Took an act of God to get to a...

dianab · dianab

I just found out 2 weeks ago that my husband has been using cocanie for 2 years and he has also become and alcoholic. He has spent ever last dime of our money too.He went to the hospital four months ago and his family told me it was a stroke that he had and I believed them and it turned out that it was an over dose...

Bothered · Bothered

Hello I am new to this forum, but I have been in Al Anon for a year now. I have a trust issue with my group and sponsor. I live in a small area where everyone knows everyone else. My husband is the alcoholic and he has stop going to AA and I think it is because of the same issue but he will not admit it. The prob...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

To a drunk, stumbling 20 year old AD in the kitchen looking for something to eat. She kept her back turned and I went to the bathroom, and crawled back into bed with my heart hurting. When I got up later this morning, I had this profound sense of loneliness, realizing once again that my family of origin has...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Wow, it's amazing, the progression of this disease. My 20 year old AD is a binge drinker, just like I was. She stays away from the house when she's drinking as she knows better. I realized tonight, watching her getting all primped up for a birthday 'party' at a friends' house, not lifting a finger around...

mimidtw · mimidtw

Hello everyone, I'm looking forward to the support and insight I can learn here from all of you. Let me start my giving you some insight on my situation. I've been married to my AH for 15 years and been with him for 20 and we have three children. I should have known just from dating I'd be in the situation I am...

greta · greta

Well I did it! I gave my notice at my job. I am kind of getting into the should/shouldn't mode here but I have to go forward with what is done. I just want to run my reasoning by you my roomies and see what you think. Monday the 1st is labor day and it is a time and a half pay day for here. I guess they decided si...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I feel pretty good today! I am still moving. It is stressful but things are moving along. I know that I am doing the right thing by moving back in with my AH. He has 22 mos. of sobriety now. I will definitely keep you all posted as the moving is over & done. I expect to be completely out of my apartmen...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Somethiing else that is bugging me.... I was talking to my AH's sister and mentioned how I could no longer attend a meeting because my AH's schedule changed. She then commented, "don't you want to get your own identity?" When I questioned what she meant, she said something about " n...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hello Friends, I know there are many on this board who feel stuck in thier lives and desire to move forward toward independence. Well, I was watching the news this morning and saw a segment that compelled me to run here and post to you all. There are 2 million dollars worth of full ride scholarships ava...

outoftheblue · outoftheblue

My husband of 10 years decided recently he wanted a divorce and it was ok if I took our kids to Kansas City to live.He apparently no longer wants to be a husband and a father.He moved into a tiny apartment,left me with the kids,bills, and pets.He has taken up with a woman he met a few days after we separated....

pagenie · pagenie

Our son showed up at our church for an 11 am preschool meeting for his daughter. He had a clear liquid that he was drinking from a grape Gatorade bottle. He pretended that it was water but his attitude and the odor told me differently. No, I didn't confront him. I was just very embarressed but never said a...

Maria123 · Maria123

(((Friends))), What a day! Today I received my diploma. It is so pretty in a leatherbound frame. It's my Associates in Science for Business Administration. I can't believe I did it. It actually has MY name on it! My mind was wandering at work today and I was thinking how I wish my Mom were here for me...

charlescharles · charlescharles

..a bit off..can't sleep tonight..hit up four meetings today..guess i needed them out on the weekend..as they see seeing things a bit more clearly but still struggling..as always the glass is more then half full these days..hope is slowly seeping in..as is change..but some of the remnants of the ol...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

And my dogs think I'm nuts! Just spoke to my VR worker on the phone, and my books/software go out UPS today! WOHOOOOOO!!!!!!

palmersno30 · palmersno30

About two months ago my girlfriend of four and a half years ago broke up with me!!! We have a two and a half year old son together! Who I love so much!! Over the course of our relationship she had always told me that I was her soul mate. She cheated on me twice over the course of our four years together and after...

gaelle · gaelle

This is one thing I always asked myself over the years. Many people told me I was such as when I asked the separation from my AH or when I was younger, when I refused to take care of my A step father who was sick (as example) Can we be considered egoist because we are thinking to take care of ourselves??? Sorry...

glad lee · glad lee

I've been trying so hard to find a better job... trying to sell the house... decided to speak up to my divorce attorney by filing a grievance against him to let him know he's billed me unfairly... so many things... I've never had to do on my own. My sponsor, who can't talk much this week b/c of a business c...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Today I tackled the college text book problem. Because the campus is 40 miles away, and all my faxed and emails to the book store last week went unanswered, I did drive the Nissan as all my program friends work during the day. When I got home, I handed the keys back over to AD and walked off. I started off wit...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

My plate overfloweth and then some. The 20 year old AD poked and poked at me and I finally blew. I am in a bad spot right now. I finally have my disability hearing the 16th of next month. It's a long drawn out process. I do get some help from Social Services, but if it wasn't for my dad, I'd be homeless. That 'he...

suzip · suzip

My AH has to turn himself in for 6 months jail term for his 3rd dui. He has been turning himself in every week, then finds reasons not to go. Each time he decides to go, he gets a call for a short time job(union worker)and he takes it. For 3 days, the weekend, whatever.While we certainly need the money I can't...

maresie · maresie

One of the chronic unremitting pressures I have at the moment is debt. Right now I owe everyone, the landlord, the credit cards, the phone company, the bills. I have worked myself into the ground over the past year (last week I worked 60 plus hours) and got very little headway with any of the debts. I am...

mslouise · mslouise

I had a great f2f meeting last night! It was empowering! We got to laughing so hard we were almost in tears. The longer members shared so many stories of strengh and hope from their time in Al-Anon, it was wonderful! It's meetings like this that can give you the strength you need to make your lif...

buick23 · buick23

It becomes clearer to me everyday how selfish my abfsober really is. It's all about him. If he doesn't get his way he trows a fit like a little child. I am just getting over a cold, stayed home yesterday because of it. He walked into the house and the first thing he did was complain he had nowhere to sit (beca...

momof3 · momof3

I am new to this site, but have found comfort in viewing all of the posts. I am the mother of three children and the wife of an alcoholic. Five weeks ago I asked my husband to leave after he had taken most of my pain medication after a recent surgery. I know he is drinking also. He was in rehab last summer for...

codependent_who_knew · codependent_who_knew

Hi everyone...... So, I am coming back here as my AH is now out of rehab and in his sober living home, checked in yesterday I guess....still hasnt been home to see the kids and asked ME to pack all of his things......hardest thing I have EVER done..... As I mentioned before, he decided after he went into tr...

maresie · maresie

I am coming up to the one year mark of finally giving up on the A. Through separation, through trying to get him back on his feet, through numerous, countless crises, I eventually got to the point one year ago where I gave up and focused on me. I had to be here years to have the strength to do it. I have to say...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well, my dinner last night with my ex's brother went extremely well. I really had a nice time. My boyfriend and he got along so well. The dinner lasted for 4 1/2 hours! Basically catching up on whats been going on in our lives for the past few months, talking about all sorts of things. My boyfriend order...

mslouise · mslouise

I would like to get some opinions on this. My bfsober got laid off recently. We do live together. After his rehab, he did start his job back and was very willing to help pay the bills, as he should, and he did. He has been very good with his money lately. Helping, not spending alot, etc. I hav...

Codependent · Codependent

Anyone done any reading on this personality disorder? Reading some today and it sounds very similar to A.

ddub · ddub

I learn so much from all the esh on this board. The way it compounds or ripples into help for so many we will never know of - isn't that something. I do have a question I keep turning over in my head so maybe some discussion will help me along with this riddle. In a real or maybe too perfect world, if spouse...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I think one of the hardest things a person can do is seriously take responsibility for themselves. To honestly look at the train wreck they are in and acknowledge their part. I am doing this right now and its not pretty. I am (hopefully) at the end of an increasingly acrimonious divorce and I can see that...

Christy · Christy

Been there done that. I earned the t-shirt for all the "topic feelings"... I absolutely cringe at those feelings and how they make me feel. They made me dislike "me". There is alot of the "topic feelings" here and understandably so. Living with anyone's addict...

lilms · lilms

(((((MIP Family))))))) It has been a long time. Due to a computer with an attitude I was offline for quite a bit. Hopefully the attitude adjustment has worked. I have missed you all and the wonderful words of wisdom I find here. Life is much the same. The A relapsed and is still in that space. Actually...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, the A has been staying at his brother's as you know. When I thought he was going to stay here I freaked out, but then when he didn't my feelings were hurt. go figure. The latest "hurt" is that the one night he did come over to see his son we all 3 slept downstairs. He and I on the two couche...

mom1973 · mom1973

I have'nt been on this board for quite a long time. I realized a while back that nothing I could say or do would help my A. After several attemps with recovery programs the coronor and pleading I gave up. My daughter died on April 1st 2008. May she rest now in peace and comfort. The abuse of alcohol destroye...

Gailey · Gailey

just don't know if this is the right place. I figure that I am not just the mother of an A but also the daughter of an A. Therfore my life was affected way before the son came aong. My marriage is in trouble and I don't feel like I want to or have the desire to keep on trying to make it better. I am scared of being wi...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

We had our annual AA/Al-Anon Conference here in town this past weekend and all in all it was a great conference. The speakers were great and it was good to see people again that we see only once a year. Saturday was a full day and we were enjoying ourselves a lot. At the banquet that evening I had a panic at...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

As some may recall, I was tossing thoughts about in my head about contacting my ex ABF to see how he was doing in rehab. While ultimately I decided not to call him directly, I did email his brother (who I was always close with) to get an update. Apparently my ex is doing 'ok' although according to his brot...

shawn306 · shawn306

and I have no idea how I am going to handle it right now. Things have not been good between us recently because he basically stops drinking when we come down and then starts right back up as soon as we leave. This has been the trend now for over a year. He "recognizes" that he has a problem but will...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

I knew it would be too good to be true. Last sunday I asked him to lend me some money so I could pay for my college fee's. He said yeah but then went on a bender and spent all his wages (which I didnt know about till I was ready to pay the fee's). Anyway that night he told me he let me down and he got upset and he said h...

kissers · kissers

Hi everyone, I don't know if anyone has the opportunity to watch Oprah today, but Gavin de Becker (I think that is his name) will be on the show to talk about fear warning us to protect ourselves. FEAR is not always false evidence appearing real. Sometimes it is a warning. He will be discussing how to know...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Two of my college classes started yesterday. My youngest had done some online classes through an adult education center, and they used the Blackboard system. I had also taken a few online courses through University of Phoenix. Yesterday once I got logged on, I was overwhelmed! I am a very computer li...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

At a meeting last week a newcomer asked how do I explain the disease of alcoholism to a 12 year old boy. This boy has been raised by his grandparents and has a lot of anger and resentment built up against his mother. Any ideas on how to do this so that the young man will understand?

suzim · suzim

with your addict?

Codependent · Codependent

This morning I keep thinking about how my A thinks I am neurotic. He always comments on how "bad" I feel about everything and how I worry all the time, etc. The times we have used together- not that distant past- I have always started feeling guilty soon after (the next morning) and often cri...

round3 · round3

Okay Family, my A will be back in this country and at my house in seven days. I'm excited, and scared, and happy, and NERVOUS. It's been 11 years since I've seen him, and there's been lots of water under the bridge since then. In these 11 years, I've learned about strength and forgiveness. I've learn...

dnlmangels · dnlmangels

Hello everyone! I am so happy to find this forum. I have been in and out of Al-anon for 15 years. Course by in and out that means I am pretty sick. As soon as the Alcoholic gets his life together, I am out the door..... stupid! stupid! I was introduced to Al-anon when my dad sobered up years ago. I was raised...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, I have now gone 24 hours without calling the A since he didn't come to watch movies last night or even call to say he wasn't coming. I know he had child support court this morning and from his mother I know he went. However, I have not called him or his friends,etc, to find out what happened. It is sca...

debilyn · debilyn

Finally after a year of wondering about the A, and back to crying over love songs.....missing my husband, I listened to my heart and went to see him. I had no expectations. All I knew was I could not call him, and I am sure he is not opening my letters. Needed to get a dose to get me to see again,that my AH who u...

Codependent · Codependent

I do understand that everyone gets tired of the same story- especially my family. I also hope that I am not taking advantage of this board by venting every situation that comes up. But, it's like as soon as they are happening I think about telling you guys to get your feedback. However, I know you all g...

suzip · suzip

I have been spending weekends at the beach with friends trying to escape from the rollercoaster life I live with my AH. How more relaxed can you get then looking out at the ocean, listening to the waves, how can you not smile? When I ran my 4 miles in the morning yesterday, I couldn't get rid of my stinkin th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Update on my Exciting NOT adventures (long) (Preview) ((((((MIP Family)))) Haven't been around much in the last few months but sure have missed you all. Debilyin, you asked for an update of my adventures. I was laughing so hard trying to think of some. We have basically just been living life at my end of the world. Trying very hard not to focus on the A. So...	lilms	2	426	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	Wow, what a way to be woken up! (Preview) Frustrated this morning, got a text from my AH and as he is in the sober living home a week now, hasnt seen the kids, its almost a month now and my poor 6 yr old and 3 yr old are sick with not understanding...... I just keep telling them Daddy is away and God is making him feel better inside, he loves you and miss...	codependent_who_knew	4	491	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	accepting what I cannot change (Preview) That phrase of accepting what I cannot change always has troubled me. My entire life, and I am now an old 66, I plunged right in and changed things I wanted changed (for the most part). I was independent and strong, positive, and successful in most everything I ever did. I had a pretty wonderful family l...	joyoma	3	440	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	What do you do with the anger? (Preview) I have read some of the threads and have gone to a few meetings and I know that I am still new, but noone talks about the anger. My husband is an active A, the longest he has gone without drinking is about thirty days after he smashed our new car, while drunk. He can be verbally abusive,and now the verbal a...	olg1213	14	821	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	eggshells and landmines (Preview) After reading and replying to some posts on dry drunks, I realized that I am in need of some esh myself. My abf has been sober for, well, I really dont know how long now, basically cuz I am no longer keeping tabs on his behavior. Things around here keep getting weirder and weirder. I feel like I am living wi...	liljeannie	8	664	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	Revving the engine...fueled by anger and clarity (Preview) After a particularly stressful week, I have been taking some time to take stock in what is going on in my life and around my home. Im not happy wth it. I know it is up to me to change it, and I am trying sooo hard to do it. I feel like my hands are tied right now and that makes me angry. I almost feel like I am bac...	liljeannie	6	519	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	Some of the thoughts that have been whirling around my head of late... (Preview) DO I consider: My cup to be half full, or half empty? My successes or my failures most of all? That my life has been well spent, or misused? That I am the sum of all my past experiences and therefore cannot improve, or do I consider myself capable of learning from my past in order to better my future? That lif...	Suzannah	4	487	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	Dating discomfort (Preview) Hey all, I have found two problems with my dating discomforts... First is answering questions about what happened to my last relationship... I find myself not wanting to explain anymore why he doesn't see the kids (he's in jail) or why we split up (he's a heroin addict). On one date in particular they...	carolinagirl	11	667	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	always falling short (Preview) I'm just continually running and not meeting the needs of anyone, particularly myself. I even feel behind in this program. Reading my literature is a speed reading adventure. Can't get all the posts read, let alone get it together to respond. Here I am posting at 4:30 a.m. Took an act of God to get to a...	Loupiness	8	689	Aug 25, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	I need help! (Preview) I just found out 2 weeks ago that my husband has been using cocanie for 2 years and he has also become and alcoholic. He has spent ever last dime of our money too.He went to the hospital four months ago and his family told me it was a stroke that he had and I believed them and it turned out that it was an over dose...	dianab	7	755	Aug 25, 2008 by dianab
	Trust & Your Group and Sponsor (Preview) Hello I am new to this forum, but I have been in Al Anon for a year now. I have a trust issue with my group and sponsor. I live in a small area where everyone knows everyone else. My husband is the alcoholic and he has stop going to AA and I think it is because of the same issue but he will not admit it. The prob...	Bothered	5	616	Aug 25, 2008 by Bothered
	Woke up this morning at 2 am... (Preview) To a drunk, stumbling 20 year old AD in the kitchen looking for something to eat. She kept her back turned and I went to the bathroom, and crawled back into bed with my heart hurting. When I got up later this morning, I had this profound sense of loneliness, realizing once again that my family of origin has...	Tenderheartsks	5	524	Aug 25, 2008 by ddub
	Living with the 'ism' (Preview) Wow, it's amazing, the progression of this disease. My 20 year old AD is a binge drinker, just like I was. She stays away from the house when she's drinking as she knows better. I realized tonight, watching her getting all primped up for a birthday 'party' at a friends' house, not lifting a finger around...	Tenderheartsks	1	662	Aug 24, 2008 by Jen
	New Here HI (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm looking forward to the support and insight I can learn here from all of you. Let me start my giving you some insight on my situation. I've been married to my AH for 15 years and been with him for 20 and we have three children. I should have known just from dating I'd be in the situation I am...	mimidtw	4	510	Aug 24, 2008 by kitty
	Help me out with some feed back? (Preview) Well I did it! I gave my notice at my job. I am kind of getting into the should/shouldn't mode here but I have to go forward with what is done. I just want to run my reasoning by you my roomies and see what you think. Monday the 1st is labor day and it is a time and a half pay day for here. I guess they decided si...	greta	4	602	Aug 24, 2008 by Phebe
	I'm OK (Preview) I feel pretty good today! I am still moving. It is stressful but things are moving along. I know that I am doing the right thing by moving back in with my AH. He has 22 mos. of sobriety now. I will definitely keep you all posted as the moving is over & done. I expect to be completely out of my apartmen...	Hoot Nanny	1	505	Aug 23, 2008 by Leetle
	when others don't get "it" (Preview) Somethiing else that is bugging me.... I was talking to my AH's sister and mentioned how I could no longer attend a meeting because my AH's schedule changed. She then commented, "don't you want to get your own identity?" When I questioned what she meant, she said something about " n...	Loupiness	9	625	Aug 23, 2008 by Leetle
	Working and want an education? Read up! (Preview) Hello Friends, I know there are many on this board who feel stuck in thier lives and desire to move forward toward independence. Well, I was watching the news this morning and saw a segment that compelled me to run here and post to you all. There are 2 million dollars worth of full ride scholarships ava...	Loupiness	4	313	Aug 23, 2008 by Jean4444
	Dry Drunk (Preview) My husband of 10 years decided recently he wanted a divorce and it was ok if I took our kids to Kansas City to live.He apparently no longer wants to be a husband and a father.He moved into a tiny apartment,left me with the kids,bills, and pets.He has taken up with a woman he met a few days after we separated....	outoftheblue	4	725	Aug 23, 2008 by kitty
	What was he drinking? (Preview) Our son showed up at our church for an 11 am preschool meeting for his daughter. He had a clear liquid that he was drinking from a grape Gatorade bottle. He pretended that it was water but his attitude and the odor told me differently. No, I didn't confront him. I was just very embarressed but never said a...	pagenie	6	520	Aug 23, 2008 by Mobirdie
	a day full of mixed emotions (Preview) (((Friends))), What a day! Today I received my diploma. It is so pretty in a leatherbound frame. It's my Associates in Science for Business Administration. I can't believe I did it. It actually has MY name on it! My mind was wandering at work today and I was thinking how I wish my Mom were here for me...	Maria123	15	734	Aug 23, 2008 by carosie
	feeling (Preview) ..a bit off..can't sleep tonight..hit up four meetings today..guess i needed them out on the weekend..as they see seeing things a bit more clearly but still struggling..as always the glass is more then half full these days..hope is slowly seeping in..as is change..but some of the remnants of the ol...	charlescharles	1	363	Aug 22, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Doing the happy dance right now! (Preview) And my dogs think I'm nuts! Just spoke to my VR worker on the phone, and my books/software go out UPS today! WOHOOOOOO!!!!!!	Tenderheartsks	4	343	Aug 22, 2008 by Loupiness
	Need some advice Im new here!!!!!!! (Preview) About two months ago my girlfriend of four and a half years ago broke up with me!!! We have a two and a half year old son together! Who I love so much!! Over the course of our relationship she had always told me that I was her soul mate. She cheated on me twice over the course of our four years together and after...	palmersno30	5	640	Aug 22, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Are we egoist??? (Preview) This is one thing I always asked myself over the years. Many people told me I was such as when I asked the separation from my AH or when I was younger, when I refused to take care of my A step father who was sick (as example) Can we be considered egoist because we are thinking to take care of ourselves??? Sorry...	gaelle	9	745	Aug 22, 2008 by gaelle
	I'm feeling depressed (Preview) I've been trying so hard to find a better job... trying to sell the house... decided to speak up to my divorce attorney by filing a grievance against him to let him know he's billed me unfairly... so many things... I've never had to do on my own. My sponsor, who can't talk much this week b/c of a business c...	glad lee	3	581	Aug 21, 2008 by Christy
	Depending on myself (Preview) Today I tackled the college text book problem. Because the campus is 40 miles away, and all my faxed and emails to the book store last week went unanswered, I did drive the Nissan as all my program friends work during the day. When I got home, I handed the keys back over to AD and walked off. I started off wit...	Tenderheartsks	5	473	Aug 21, 2008 by Jen
	I blew today and now I feel like falling apart. (Preview) My plate overfloweth and then some. The 20 year old AD poked and poked at me and I finally blew. I am in a bad spot right now. I finally have my disability hearing the 16th of next month. It's a long drawn out process. I do get some help from Social Services, but if it wasn't for my dad, I'd be homeless. That 'he...	Tenderheartsks	9	602	Aug 21, 2008 by Jean4444
	how many times to say goodbye? (Preview) My AH has to turn himself in for 6 months jail term for his 3rd dui. He has been turning himself in every week, then finds reasons not to go. Each time he decides to go, he gets a call for a short time job(union worker)and he takes it. For 3 days, the weekend, whatever.While we certainly need the money I can't...	suzip	2	583	Aug 21, 2008 by abbyal
	putting the pressure on myself (Preview) One of the chronic unremitting pressures I have at the moment is debt. Right now I owe everyone, the landlord, the credit cards, the phone company, the bills. I have worked myself into the ground over the past year (last week I worked 60 plus hours) and got very little headway with any of the debts. I am...	maresie	3	435	Aug 21, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	What does Al-Anon do for you? (Preview) I had a great f2f meeting last night! It was empowering! We got to laughing so hard we were almost in tears. The longer members shared so many stories of strengh and hope from their time in Al-Anon, it was wonderful! It's meetings like this that can give you the strength you need to make your lif...	mslouise	8	964	Aug 21, 2008 by Peggy7
	selfish behaviour (Preview) It becomes clearer to me everyday how selfish my abfsober really is. It's all about him. If he doesn't get his way he trows a fit like a little child. I am just getting over a cold, stayed home yesterday because of it. He walked into the house and the first thing he did was complain he had nowhere to sit (beca...	buick23	6	570	Aug 21, 2008 by liljeannie
	New to site.......need advice (Preview) I am new to this site, but have found comfort in viewing all of the posts. I am the mother of three children and the wife of an alcoholic. Five weeks ago I asked my husband to leave after he had taken most of my pain medication after a recent surgery. I know he is drinking also. He was in rehab last summer for...	momof3	7	624	Aug 21, 2008 by momof3
	Not getting any easier........ (Preview) Hi everyone...... So, I am coming back here as my AH is now out of rehab and in his sober living home, checked in yesterday I guess....still hasnt been home to see the kids and asked ME to pack all of his things......hardest thing I have EVER done..... As I mentioned before, he decided after he went into tr...	codependent_who_knew	8	667	Aug 21, 2008 by Jen
	Exhaustion one year later (Preview) I am coming up to the one year mark of finally giving up on the A. Through separation, through trying to get him back on his feet, through numerous, countless crises, I eventually got to the point one year ago where I gave up and focused on me. I had to be here years to have the strength to do it. I have to say...	maresie	6	566	Aug 21, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Dinner went unsurprisingly well! (Preview) Well, my dinner last night with my ex's brother went extremely well. I really had a nice time. My boyfriend and he got along so well. The dinner lasted for 4 1/2 hours! Basically catching up on whats been going on in our lives for the past few months, talking about all sorts of things. My boyfriend order...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	0	375	Aug 21, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	Need you opinion on this - help or not??? (Preview) I would like to get some opinions on this. My bfsober got laid off recently. We do live together. After his rehab, he did start his job back and was very willing to help pay the bills, as he should, and he did. He has been very good with his money lately. Helping, not spending alot, etc. I hav...	mslouise	6	518	Aug 21, 2008 by mslouise
	Narcissists (Preview) Anyone done any reading on this personality disorder? Reading some today and it sounds very similar to A.	Codependent	12	2130	Aug 21, 2008 by junehouse
	old & new behaviors battling in my head (Preview) I learn so much from all the esh on this board. The way it compounds or ripples into help for so many we will never know of - isn't that something. I do have a question I keep turning over in my head so maybe some discussion will help me along with this riddle. In a real or maybe too perfect world, if spouse...	ddub	4	618	Aug 21, 2008 by ddub
	Putting my attention right back where it belongs...on ME (Preview) I think one of the hardest things a person can do is seriously take responsibility for themselves. To honestly look at the train wreck they are in and acknowledge their part. I am doing this right now and its not pretty. I am (hopefully) at the end of an increasingly acrimonious divorce and I can see that...	Jean4444	7	640	Aug 20, 2008 by nmike
	Stress, anger, frustration, loathing and confusion.. (pull up a chair) (Preview) Been there done that. I earned the t-shirt for all the "topic feelings"... I absolutely cringe at those feelings and how they make me feel. They made me dislike "me". There is alot of the "topic feelings" here and understandably so. Living with anyone's addict...	Christy	9	704	Aug 20, 2008 by kismetstrand
	A BIG hug for all--been missing this place (Preview) (((((MIP Family))))))) It has been a long time. Due to a computer with an attitude I was offline for quite a bit. Hopefully the attitude adjustment has worked. I have missed you all and the wonderful words of wisdom I find here. Life is much the same. The A relapsed and is still in that space. Actually...	lilms	6	494	Aug 20, 2008 by Leetle
	His Criticism (Preview) Well, the A has been staying at his brother's as you know. When I thought he was going to stay here I freaked out, but then when he didn't my feelings were hurt. go figure. The latest "hurt" is that the one night he did come over to see his son we all 3 slept downstairs. He and I on the two couche...	Codependent	3	769	Aug 20, 2008 by lilms
	Sad newa for me (Preview) I have'nt been on this board for quite a long time. I realized a while back that nothing I could say or do would help my A. After several attemps with recovery programs the coronor and pleading I gave up. My daughter died on April 1st 2008. May she rest now in peace and comfort. The abuse of alcohol destroye...	mom1973	17	1330	Aug 20, 2008 by maresie
	a need to vent my feelings somewhere...... (Preview) just don't know if this is the right place. I figure that I am not just the mother of an A but also the daughter of an A. Therfore my life was affected way before the son came aong. My marriage is in trouble and I don't feel like I want to or have the desire to keep on trying to make it better. I am scared of being wi...	Gailey	8	751	Aug 20, 2008 by Karilynn
	Projecting-expecting the worst (Preview) We had our annual AA/Al-Anon Conference here in town this past weekend and all in all it was a great conference. The speakers were great and it was good to see people again that we see only once a year. Saturday was a full day and we were enjoying ourselves a lot. At the banquet that evening I had a panic at...	Mobirdie	8	719	Aug 20, 2008 by kitty
	My letter was well received (Preview) As some may recall, I was tossing thoughts about in my head about contacting my ex ABF to see how he was doing in rehab. While ultimately I decided not to call him directly, I did email his brother (who I was always close with) to get an update. Apparently my ex is doing 'ok' although according to his brot...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	2	503	Aug 20, 2008 by kitty
	Seeing my AD Labor Day Weekend... (Preview) and I have no idea how I am going to handle it right now. Things have not been good between us recently because he basically stops drinking when we come down and then starts right back up as soon as we leave. This has been the trend now for over a year. He "recognizes" that he has a problem but will...	shawn306	5	669	Aug 20, 2008 by shawn306
	Too good to be true (Preview) I knew it would be too good to be true. Last sunday I asked him to lend me some money so I could pay for my college fee's. He said yeah but then went on a bender and spent all his wages (which I didnt know about till I was ready to pay the fee's). Anyway that night he told me he let me down and he got upset and he said h...	mum2leahnjosh	8	481	Aug 20, 2008 by maire rua
	Gift of Fear (Preview) Hi everyone, I don't know if anyone has the opportunity to watch Oprah today, but Gavin de Becker (I think that is his name) will be on the show to talk about fear warning us to protect ourselves. FEAR is not always false evidence appearing real. Sometimes it is a warning. He will be discussing how to know...	kissers	5	517	Aug 20, 2008 by Lady
	Having faith in myself (Preview) Two of my college classes started yesterday. My youngest had done some online classes through an adult education center, and they used the Blackboard system. I had also taken a few online courses through University of Phoenix. Yesterday once I got logged on, I was overwhelmed! I am a very computer li...	Tenderheartsks	6	684	Aug 20, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	How do I explain the disease (Preview) At a meeting last week a newcomer asked how do I explain the disease of alcoholism to a 12 year old boy. This boy has been raised by his grandparents and has a lot of anger and resentment built up against his mother. Any ideas on how to do this so that the young man will understand?	Mobirdie	6	561	Aug 20, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Why do you stay..... (Preview) with your addict?	suzim	16	720	Aug 19, 2008 by Loupiness
	Neurotic (Preview) This morning I keep thinking about how my A thinks I am neurotic. He always comments on how "bad" I feel about everything and how I worry all the time, etc. The times we have used together- not that distant past- I have always started feeling guilty soon after (the next morning) and often cri...	Codependent	4	2816	Aug 19, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Seeking last minute advice (Preview) Okay Family, my A will be back in this country and at my house in seven days. I'm excited, and scared, and happy, and NERVOUS. It's been 11 years since I've seen him, and there's been lots of water under the bridge since then. In these 11 years, I've learned about strength and forgiveness. I've learn...	round3	9	673	Aug 19, 2008 by round3
	Even after all these years (Preview) Hello everyone! I am so happy to find this forum. I have been in and out of Al-anon for 15 years. Course by in and out that means I am pretty sick. As soon as the Alcoholic gets his life together, I am out the door..... stupid! stupid! I was introduced to Al-anon when my dad sobered up years ago. I was raised...	dnlmangels	3	539	Aug 19, 2008 by Peggy7
	24 hours "clean" (Preview) Well, I have now gone 24 hours without calling the A since he didn't come to watch movies last night or even call to say he wasn't coming. I know he had child support court this morning and from his mother I know he went. However, I have not called him or his friends,etc, to find out what happened. It is sca...	Codependent	5	515	Aug 19, 2008 by maresie
	Finally....reality! (Preview) Finally after a year of wondering about the A, and back to crying over love songs.....missing my husband, I listened to my heart and went to see him. I had no expectations. All I knew was I could not call him, and I am sure he is not opening my letters. Needed to get a dose to get me to see again,that my AH who u...	debilyn	7	578	Aug 19, 2008 by junehouse
	What is the proper tool here? (Preview) I do understand that everyone gets tired of the same story- especially my family. I also hope that I am not taking advantage of this board by venting every situation that comes up. But, it's like as soon as they are happening I think about telling you guys to get your feedback. However, I know you all g...	Codependent	7	613	Aug 19, 2008 by maresie
	Back to Reality (Preview) I have been spending weekends at the beach with friends trying to escape from the rollercoaster life I live with my AH. How more relaxed can you get then looking out at the ocean, listening to the waves, how can you not smile? When I ran my 4 miles in the morning yesterday, I couldn't get rid of my stinkin th...	suzip	1	299	Aug 19, 2008 by Jen
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.