Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I wish I could disappear. My husband called me a bitch. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with that. I know that its not a big deal to most people but that word really hurts coming from him. I've been with him for 14 years and have never heard him refer to me like that before. He thought I couldn't hear him cause...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Business meeting next Sunday. Agenda to follow :) Mandy

confuzed · confuzed

I am dating an alcoholic woman who drinks daily and is very functioning. Has a good career and responsible but when she drinks she can become very nasty at times to me and her daughter. I finally said something to her about 6 months ago and she agreed she had a problem and said she would try to cut down..But...

MommaMia14 · MommaMia14

sorry but i've got a question. what is a dry drunk exactly? there have been people I have come across, not personally, who have been calling themselves recovered for years yet there are behaviors I do not think are really recovery material. What exactly is a dry drunk? - Does being Recovered mean m...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

As I start this post I atually have no real idea where it is going. Let me start with my AH and I came to an agreement and he is moving back in. I feel quite confident in this decision and accept that he is an acoholic and understand that I have to continue with my program to keep myself strong. He understands t...

kim821 · kim821

Hi all I am new and thought I would look here for some input, advice, knowledge, etc... I am a soon to be single mother of 2. A 13 and an 8 yr old. I quit drinking almost 3 yrs ago. Will be 3 in November. I attended 1 meeting and never went beck. My ex still drinks, actually, the whole block still drinks! My 8 yr ol...

Codependent · Codependent

Realizing that I am an enabler and actually contribute to my A's condition has made me sad today. Once again, realizing that we should not be together because I am not good for him and him not good for me hurts. I guess the thought that we will NEVER be together is just overwhelming.

maresie · maresie

One year ago I decided to cut it off with the A after having spent a summer shoring him up. I cut the purse strings. I gave up! I can't say it has been an easy year. In fact many time I've felt like I was hangin on by my finger nails. I have problems galore and some of them see insurmountable. Yet I have goals, I...

mslouise · mslouise

Well, last night was a birthday meeting at my bf's AA meeting. They were having a speaker and everybody brought food - my AlAnon group included. I was very excited to go! We got there and mingled with everybody, bf introduced me and ate and had a really great time! The first speaker was a young wom...

buick23 · buick23

Well, I went to my 2nd f2f meeting tonight and it turned out great. I didn't say anything during the meeting, but I did talk to some people after the meeting. Anyway, I related to alot of what was said and there were many times when I wanted to say something but just couldn't get myself to talk. I told someon...

queenie105 · queenie105

After yesterday's fiasco, where I really though AHsober would drink and caught him in a lie, (he didn't appear to have drank btw), I came to the realization that I am totally not cut out to be the wife of an alcoholic. I always thought I could handle whatever came my way in life, and I have handled alot of t...

charlescharles · charlescharles

whats up folks..well the a called me last night complaining about some recording she found on her phone..i guess it was something i had put on there...the phone was mine before i gave it to her...something about me saying something about my ex she called a bit riled up..of course 1000 miles away does no...

queenie105 · queenie105

I think my AHsober has been showing signs of stinkin thinkin lately, and I know a relapse is on the horizon. In fact, I am willing to bet it is gonna be today, and I'm not sure how to handle the situation when it does happen. His relapse is not the part that getting to me, it's how to handle that relapse. See...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

She got the call today that the insurance company totaled her car. I know what a blow that was to her. It was her first car, just bought in November of last year and she made her monthly payments on it. Wouldn't you know she has decided, just since I've plunged into college, she wants to get her GED now and at...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Tomorrow is my birthday, I will be 44yrs old. All week long my abf has been asking me what I wanted to do for my special day. All week long, I havent been able to give him an answer. He suggested we go kayaking, as this is something I love to do. I told him maybe...as he kept suggesting, I kept giving maybe...

sadako · sadako

my A-boyfriend left my home Aug. 15th. at first he said "i don't love you, this is over and done." since then he's come over and we've talked (he comes over to keep his promises to my daughter), and he keeps saying that he has a lot of things to work on, and it will take him a long time, he still love...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Be honest, like I know you will be... OK, I have been doing this long distance relationship. We are in opposite time zones almost on opposite sides of the planet. We text sometimes, talk on the phone once very week or two, email rarely. We have been together, face to face only a couple of times and its gr...

MotherTeresa · MotherTeresa

I am determined to get out to a meeting tonight, have just been too close to tears to go this week, as have not heard from a son for a week, he was sounding desparate, car towed, "needed" money, etc and we held firm that he needed to sort it out himself, he is in new city, getting very little work an...

wp · wp

This is to offer prayers and hopes that hurricane Gustav will fizzle out and that Jurne and our other friends on the Gulf of Mexico will be spared more devastation. pw

buick23 · buick23

I finally went to a f2f meeting today and I'm glad I did. Things have been going pretty well lately but it's good to have that additional support. Everyone was very nice and it felt good. They even go to lunch together on Thursdays after meetings which I think is pretty cool. Just wanted to share that. Tha...

MommyM · MommyM

Hello! Here's my story. I've been married to my husband for 6 years and he has been an alcoholic for 8 years. We have two girls together (6 months and 3 1/2). Last month he showed up to work still drunk (he blew .13 after 6 hours of sleep) and his work agreed to hold his job for him while he did inpatient r...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I am now on week 2 of my Human Relations class and my Microcomputer Aps class, and just got my text books/software this past Monday. My microcomputer aps instructor is also the chair of the computer training department, so she is a very busy lady, working full-time for the college, married and with two...

Codependent · Codependent

Do you think it is okay to tell yourself that maybe SOMEDAY you will be together? I tell myself this sometimes so that I can detach for today that while we can't be together today, maybe the HP will work it out that SOMEDAY we will both be healthy enough to make it work....

angel123 · angel123

Putting the slogans into action I must accept something I can not change and have no control over.. Let Go and let God slogan is releasing my troubles to my HP (God) once I was aware of the situation Putting in action my program using slogans daily to keep me focused ,even at times I go off into space (for sa...

meagain · meagain

I have not been on this site for awhile. I do try and catch up on all the readings when I can. I have shared before problems with my son and DIL. That seems to be doing OK--in fact tonite my son called me and we had a nice chat. They would not "talk" to me for over 2 months-I worked my program, prayed...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just need to write and vent tonight tough week..and some good..by the end of it...today..my a packed up and moved back to detroit..indefinitely..but right now deffinitely gone the boundaries i put up and just me going to meetings and getting stronger and more clear helped to push this relationship...

Codependent · Codependent

As many of you know I used with my A last weekend. While it was his initiation, etc, I feel now a since of responsibility that I used with him- that I somehow condoned it or influenced. I feel like if something spirals out of control now that it might be related to me. Or at least that I am no loner the safe plac...

Kary · Kary

Hi everyone! i've been reading through the posts and have nothing but praise for all of you for your support and loving words to those in need. I'm definitely one of those in need right now... I've been married to my AH for 7 years and am just so tired and weary right now. When I met my AH he was in recovery f...

Codependent · Codependent

I was reading the previous posts about assigning blame to the alcoholic. I am just now working the first Alanon Step that says that we accept alcoholism as a disease and decide how this effects how we treat the alcoholic. I would like to hear some insight into how this has effected the relationship you h...

ddub · ddub

I get lonely. I call friends, I enjoy my own company, I have hp. No matter what I tell myself, I hate going to bed alone and I hate going to bed with AH if drinking but that is rare anyways - when he's home drinking, he passes out on the couch. He travels for work and is gone a lot. I am doing well in so many areas...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I received my shipment yesterday and this booklet is very good. They did a fantastic job on this one. Three groups here in town took up special collections to order as many copies as we could and ended up with the funds to purchase 1000 copies. Our plan is to take them to doctor's offices, mental healt...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hello ((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))))) Please forgive me for going into self-preservation mode right now. It has been really tough of late and I have been thinking a lot about choices. Whether they be good or bad, and how I have made the choices, the most important thing to realise about choi...

CJ · CJ

(((Family))) I found myself sad and lonely tonight. These types of nights have been rarer and rarer since finding Al-anon, my voice, your experiences, strenghts and hopes, and the love in the company that I keep here and at my Home Family Group. Physically, I am more than 6000 miles away from my love...

david62 · david62

((((Family))))) Just rolled back into town from a weekend AA/Alanon conference. I am so pumped up again.....I really, really needed booster shot of program! And I met someone very, very special to me. When I first came into the program 4 years ago, I went to a conference in Houston, Texas..called t...

Leetle · Leetle

I have a lot going on right now and I am trying to keep my program close to me. I am disappointed with a few things in my life right now and feel a bit unsettled about it. I am trying to avoid my normal tendency of getting anxious. I hate the physical side...I get this uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my s...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I heard these words in a meeting. "The love I give is equal to the love I expect" Truer words were never spoken. I pull away from emotional intimacy with those who are closest to me. Because, I am ashamed of who I've been in the past. I'm ashamed of my continued self imposed islation from life be...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Where do I begin? Yesterday was Tuesday, she seemed fine on Sunday, maybe a little tired from being at the kennel which is normal for her. But Monday she was still lathargic and not wanting to go outside, drinking water but not eating. By the evening she was more lathargic and was having seizures that wo...

mslouise · mslouise

So the other night my mom called and said she was too tired to watch my son for my meeting. She then kept asking me if I would take him with me, as it would be too late, etc. Tries to guilt trip me. I did not answer her and did not answer the phone after that. I did take my son to the meeting as I needed a meet...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Many years ago, my oldest AD went into an adolescent treatment unit due to chronic rage issues and other behavior that had escalated. She had just graduated 8th grade. We had family nights and family sessions, and at one point, I asked my parents if they would like to come for a family counseling sessio...

olg1213 · olg1213

Part of my anger problem with alcoholism, is the question of fault. It's the A's choice to drink but not their fault. The consequences of their actions is felt by everyone around them, but it's not their fault. If they get in the car drunk and kill someone, the fault lies on them in the eyes of the cour...

Jen57 · Jen57

I'm new to AlAnon, and I'm learning every day about how ALL the relationships in my family are screwed up. My 15 year old daughter has a pattern of making specific commitments to me and then not keeping them. So I've checked up on her... nagged her... managed her life for her. For a tiny example, she's ta...

Gailey · Gailey

I am sitting at my desk seething. My manager is someone that was a friend of mine before I started working here. She is my sister's best friend. I have been here for going on 12 years and most of the time it is great. I love my job but am getting fed up with the way she runs the office. Over the years the power has...

MommaMia14 · MommaMia14

Need advice, so I thank you in advance. Have a family member (brother in law) who is an alcoholic. Actually several of them are. My husband is a Sober man- does not drink and helpless in this matter. His mother recently died & the brother of my husband is now homeless (actually in the next few day...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

http://www.shydogsdesigns.com/temp/TearsofaWoman.pps

kissers · kissers

the A can schedule a meeting, interview; yet, never make a commitment for us to do anything? It always has to be on the spur of the moment. I don't mind being spontaneous once in a while, but I can't live my life that way when I have a child to consider. Everything seems to be on his terms. He can go out to bars,...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well, it had been over 2 weeks since I spoke with my ex who is currently sitting in rehab out in California. Today my 'moment of anger' subsided and I decided to call his room knowing that the chances of him answering the phone were slim. They are hardly ever in their room but once in a while one of his 'roo...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My sweet younger sister has a saying about our family which is, "remember when we were all so happy, back in 1994". It's kinda funny, but oh so true. That was the time when we (brothers and sisters) were all just out of college, getting married, first real jobs, having little kids. Yeah, they...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

After a really awesome weekend with my boyfriend and children this morning I have caught myself thinking about my ex A B/F who still sits in rehab. I havent spoken with him in over 2 weeks, but I cant help but have such anger towards him today. How could someone that has lost so much due to an alcohol/dr...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

This month I have not seen my parents at all. I called them when my baby took his first steps. They called me on my birthday. My father suggested that I record the baby walking and put the video on the net so they can see him. They could come here to see him. I live about an hour away from them. I did go to see them...

BigTex93 · BigTex93

day one of my journey. When is enough enough? I am at the point in my marriage where I really feel that she would rather be drunk than be with me. And that is ok...what gets me is my eight yr old daughter. It kills me to think of her going through the family break up thing...but it also kills me to see her witne...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I spent the last two weeks at my sister's and she had a great house guest (along with me) and he and I really hit it off. He was my brother-in-law's best friend. Anyway, we ended up spending quite a bit of time together. He is an A. I was able to have a lot of fun with him without drinking with him and avoiding hi...

david62 · david62

((((Family)))) In my ftf meeting last night the topic was Mistakes. I read a page out of Courage to Change (pg 60) that I found very interesting. For those of you that don't have the book (you should get it!) it begins by talking about how an automatic pilot on an airplane keeps a plane on its course. It doe...

greta · greta

Ya all know I have been struggling with employment issues.. Well I think I have a line on something, although I might need some help from all of you! Please copy and paste the addy below, all the info you need is there! Thanks in advance, Greta http://www.thelopezfamilyonline.com/play.php?first=a...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

In the beginning of al-anon I really needed to figure out some very specific ways to keep the focus on ME. These could also be looked at as INVESTMENTS in ME. I think it would be really helpful for me, right now, to review this and if there are others out there who can add to the list- GREAT! 1.) Education....

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Guess what? My books/software for college were never shipped out. The order wasn't even processed. I called the book store this morning, talked to the manager, and the lady who was supposed to be processing my order went home sick earlier this morning, and the manager couldn't even find the paperwor...

ally · ally

((((((Guys))))))))) You all know i am no longer in Al-anon as a group or online, i do however still practice the principles in my everyday life. For over two years i ate, drank and slept Al-anon. I then saw fit to try living my life on my own and gaining some independence. After six months of no fellowship...

OverTheEdge · OverTheEdge

Hi, I am new here. I have been with my AH for a year and a half. Previously, for twenty years, I was married to an abusive individual. I had to work my escape extremely carefully due to the ex-h's position in the community. Once I got away, I never looked back. I went to therapy, reworked my life and was...

nmike · nmike

I had my interview Friday. It was good. A few questions I just couldn't answer well. I am so glad I applied and went thru the process. It gave me confidence in myself and know that I will be ok whether I get the job or not. I went into the interview with all of your esh and my higher power. It doesn't get any bett...

kissers · kissers

My friend called me and asked me if I wanted to come over for lunch. I thought it was unusual for her to make me lunch. I went over her house and we had lunch. The next thing I knew she had asked me to watch her little daughter while she made a call to a customer (she works from home). I was playing with her daught...

Codependent · Codependent

So the A called me Thursday night to see what I was doing this weekend. We ended up going out Friday night and both "used." Now I feel worthless and guilty and lonely and miss him all over again. It breaks my heart that I cannot seem to be able to be around him and not use with him. It breaks my h...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hurt feelings (Preview) I wish I could disappear. My husband called me a bitch. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with that. I know that its not a big deal to most people but that word really hurts coming from him. I've been with him for 14 years and have never heard him refer to me like that before. He thought I couldn't hear him cause...	StargazerLily	6	781	Aug 31, 2008 by wp
	September Business Meeting (Preview) Hi all, Business meeting next Sunday. Agenda to follow :) Mandy	Mandy123	0	432	Aug 31, 2008 by Mandy123
	I need help please-Falling into depression (Preview) I am dating an alcoholic woman who drinks daily and is very functioning. Has a good career and responsible but when she drinks she can become very nasty at times to me and her daughter. I finally said something to her about 6 months ago and she agreed she had a problem and said she would try to cut down..But...	confuzed	7	710	Aug 31, 2008 by kitty
	Dry Drunk? (Preview) sorry but i've got a question. what is a dry drunk exactly? there have been people I have come across, not personally, who have been calling themselves recovered for years yet there are behaviors I do not think are really recovery material. What exactly is a dry drunk? - Does being Recovered mean m...	MommaMia14	4	1352	Aug 31, 2008 by kitty
	My AH is moving back home, hmmm. (Preview) As I start this post I atually have no real idea where it is going. Let me start with my AH and I came to an agreement and he is moving back in. I feel quite confident in this decision and accept that he is an acoholic and understand that I have to continue with my program to keep myself strong. He understands t...	wildthang86	5	554	Aug 31, 2008 by maresie
	Children and Drinking (Preview) Hi all I am new and thought I would look here for some input, advice, knowledge, etc... I am a soon to be single mother of 2. A 13 and an 8 yr old. I quit drinking almost 3 yrs ago. Will be 3 in November. I attended 1 meeting and never went beck. My ex still drinks, actually, the whole block still drinks! My 8 yr ol...	kim821	9	644	Aug 31, 2008 by junehouse
	Realizing that you are more harm than good (Preview) Realizing that I am an enabler and actually contribute to my A's condition has made me sad today. Once again, realizing that we should not be together because I am not good for him and him not good for me hurts. I guess the thought that we will NEVER be together is just overwhelming.	Codependent	6	532	Aug 31, 2008 by Jean4444
	One year out... looking back. (Preview) One year ago I decided to cut it off with the A after having spent a summer shoring him up. I cut the purse strings. I gave up! I can't say it has been an easy year. In fact many time I've felt like I was hangin on by my finger nails. I have problems galore and some of them see insurmountable. Yet I have goals, I...	maresie	6	483	Aug 31, 2008 by kissers
	Last night I learned how much I hate Alcohol..does anyone feel like this?...first open meeting (Preview) Well, last night was a birthday meeting at my bf's AA meeting. They were having a speaker and everybody brought food - my AlAnon group included. I was very excited to go! We got there and mingled with everybody, bf introduced me and ate and had a really great time! The first speaker was a young wom...	mslouise	18	732	Aug 31, 2008 by Phebe
	second f2f (Preview) Well, I went to my 2nd f2f meeting tonight and it turned out great. I didn't say anything during the meeting, but I did talk to some people after the meeting. Anyway, I related to alot of what was said and there were many times when I wanted to say something but just couldn't get myself to talk. I told someon...	buick23	4	556	Aug 31, 2008 by kitty
	I'm not cut out to be the wife of an alcoholic (Preview) After yesterday's fiasco, where I really though AHsober would drink and caught him in a lie, (he didn't appear to have drank btw), I came to the realization that I am totally not cut out to be the wife of an alcoholic. I always thought I could handle whatever came my way in life, and I have handled alot of t...	queenie105	11	835	Aug 31, 2008 by whitie
	morning (Preview) whats up folks..well the a called me last night complaining about some recording she found on her phone..i guess it was something i had put on there...the phone was mine before i gave it to her...something about me saying something about my ex she called a bit riled up..of course 1000 miles away does no...	charlescharles	4	464	Aug 30, 2008 by ddub
	Don't have a good feeling about this, and don't know how to deal - help (Preview) I think my AHsober has been showing signs of stinkin thinkin lately, and I know a relapse is on the horizon. In fact, I am willing to bet it is gonna be today, and I'm not sure how to handle the situation when it does happen. His relapse is not the part that getting to me, it's how to handle that relapse. See...	queenie105	14	677	Aug 30, 2008 by Peggy7
	Dealing with a crying AD (Preview) She got the call today that the insurance company totaled her car. I know what a blow that was to her. It was her first car, just bought in November of last year and she made her monthly payments on it. Wouldn't you know she has decided, just since I've plunged into college, she wants to get her GED now and at...	Tenderheartsks	5	563	Aug 30, 2008 by maresie
	Another year older....and getting wiser (Preview) Tomorrow is my birthday, I will be 44yrs old. All week long my abf has been asking me what I wanted to do for my special day. All week long, I havent been able to give him an answer. He suggested we go kayaking, as this is something I love to do. I told him maybe...as he kept suggesting, I kept giving maybe...	liljeannie	4	597	Aug 30, 2008 by maresie
	sober but now drug-addicted (Preview) my A-boyfriend left my home Aug. 15th. at first he said "i don't love you, this is over and done." since then he's come over and we've talked (he comes over to keep his promises to my daughter), and he keeps saying that he has a lot of things to work on, and it will take him a long time, he still love...	sadako	4	621	Aug 30, 2008 by maresie
	I need some help figuring this out, any ESH would be appreciated! (Preview) Be honest, like I know you will be... OK, I have been doing this long distance relationship. We are in opposite time zones almost on opposite sides of the planet. We text sometimes, talk on the phone once very week or two, email rarely. We have been together, face to face only a couple of times and its gr...	Jean4444	9	709	Aug 30, 2008 by kissers
	Trying a new f2f meeting (Preview) I am determined to get out to a meeting tonight, have just been too close to tears to go this week, as have not heard from a son for a week, he was sounding desparate, car towed, "needed" money, etc and we held firm that he needed to sort it out himself, he is in new city, getting very little work an...	MotherTeresa	5	551	Aug 30, 2008 by MotherTeresa
	our friends in Louisiana (Preview) This is to offer prayers and hopes that hurricane Gustav will fizzle out and that Jurne and our other friends on the Gulf of Mexico will be spared more devastation. pw	wp	3	2272	Aug 29, 2008 by buick23
	I went to a f2f (Preview) I finally went to a f2f meeting today and I'm glad I did. Things have been going pretty well lately but it's good to have that additional support. Everyone was very nice and it felt good. They even go to lunch together on Thursdays after meetings which I think is pretty cool. Just wanted to share that. Tha...	buick23	7	593	Aug 29, 2008 by buick23
	My Introduction (Preview) Hello! Here's my story. I've been married to my husband for 6 years and he has been an alcoholic for 8 years. We have two girls together (6 months and 3 1/2). Last month he showed up to work still drunk (he blew .13 after 6 hours of sleep) and his work agreed to hold his job for him while he did inpatient r...	MommyM	6	563	Aug 29, 2008 by Peggy7
	The rewards of patience (Preview) I am now on week 2 of my Human Relations class and my Microcomputer Aps class, and just got my text books/software this past Monday. My microcomputer aps instructor is also the chair of the computer training department, so she is a very busy lady, working full-time for the college, married and with two...	Tenderheartsks	3	840	Aug 29, 2008 by Peggy7
	Unhealthy Coping? (Preview) Do you think it is okay to tell yourself that maybe SOMEDAY you will be together? I tell myself this sometimes so that I can detach for today that while we can't be together today, maybe the HP will work it out that SOMEDAY we will both be healthy enough to make it work....	Codependent	5	405	Aug 29, 2008 by maresie
	Putting the slogans into action (Preview) Putting the slogans into action I must accept something I can not change and have no control over.. Let Go and let God slogan is releasing my troubles to my HP (God) once I was aware of the situation Putting in action my program using slogans daily to keep me focused ,even at times I go off into space (for sa...	angel123	2	624	Aug 29, 2008 by Peggy7
	I am proud of myself! (Preview) I have not been on this site for awhile. I do try and catch up on all the readings when I can. I have shared before problems with my son and DIL. That seems to be doing OK--in fact tonite my son called me and we had a nice chat. They would not "talk" to me for over 2 months-I worked my program, prayed...	meagain	4	427	Aug 29, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	hello (Preview) just need to write and vent tonight tough week..and some good..by the end of it...today..my a packed up and moved back to detroit..indefinitely..but right now deffinitely gone the boundaries i put up and just me going to meetings and getting stronger and more clear helped to push this relationship...	charlescharles	4	438	Aug 29, 2008 by maresie
	Responsibility (Preview) As many of you know I used with my A last weekend. While it was his initiation, etc, I feel now a since of responsibility that I used with him- that I somehow condoned it or influenced. I feel like if something spirals out of control now that it might be related to me. Or at least that I am no loner the safe plac...	Codependent	2	564	Aug 29, 2008 by Maria123
	Slowly losing my mind... (Preview) Hi everyone! i've been reading through the posts and have nothing but praise for all of you for your support and loving words to those in need. I'm definitely one of those in need right now... I've been married to my AH for 7 years and am just so tired and weary right now. When I met my AH he was in recovery f...	Kary	10	754	Aug 29, 2008 by Karilynn
	Step One- Accepted Alcoholism as a Disease (Preview) I was reading the previous posts about assigning blame to the alcoholic. I am just now working the first Alanon Step that says that we accept alcoholism as a disease and decide how this effects how we treat the alcoholic. I would like to hear some insight into how this has effected the relationship you h...	Codependent	14	817	Aug 29, 2008 by lmrobinson7
	fear of sleep (Preview) I get lonely. I call friends, I enjoy my own company, I have hp. No matter what I tell myself, I hate going to bed alone and I hate going to bed with AH if drinking but that is rare anyways - when he's home drinking, he passes out on the couch. He travels for work and is gone a lot. I am doing well in so many areas...	ddub	8	792	Aug 29, 2008 by Loupiness
	Al-Anon faces Alcoholism 2009 (Preview) I received my shipment yesterday and this booklet is very good. They did a fantastic job on this one. Three groups here in town took up special collections to order as many copies as we could and ended up with the funds to purchase 1000 copies. Our plan is to take them to doctor's offices, mental healt...	Mobirdie	1	457	Aug 28, 2008 by serendipity
	Enough is enough... (Preview) Hello ((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))))) Please forgive me for going into self-preservation mode right now. It has been really tough of late and I have been thinking a lot about choices. Whether they be good or bad, and how I have made the choices, the most important thing to realise about choi...	Suzannah	4	686	Aug 28, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Gratitude in pain (Preview) (((Family))) I found myself sad and lonely tonight. These types of nights have been rarer and rarer since finding Al-anon, my voice, your experiences, strenghts and hopes, and the love in the company that I keep here and at my Home Family Group. Physically, I am more than 6000 miles away from my love...	CJ	6	575	Aug 28, 2008 by Maria123
	Meeting one of the Voices in my Head (Preview) ((((Family))))) Just rolled back into town from a weekend AA/Alanon conference. I am so pumped up again.....I really, really needed booster shot of program! And I met someone very, very special to me. When I first came into the program 4 years ago, I went to a conference in Houston, Texas..called t...	david62	11	686	Aug 28, 2008 by Maria123
	Reaching Out... (Preview) I have a lot going on right now and I am trying to keep my program close to me. I am disappointed with a few things in my life right now and feel a bit unsettled about it. I am trying to avoid my normal tendency of getting anxious. I hate the physical side...I get this uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my s...	Leetle	8	614	Aug 28, 2008 by Maria123
	hit the nail on the head (Preview) I heard these words in a meeting. "The love I give is equal to the love I expect" Truer words were never spoken. I pull away from emotional intimacy with those who are closest to me. Because, I am ashamed of who I've been in the past. I'm ashamed of my continued self imposed islation from life be...	seekingserenity	5	446	Aug 28, 2008 by Maria123
	My 40th birthday was yesterday and my dog passed away... (Preview) Where do I begin? Yesterday was Tuesday, she seemed fine on Sunday, maybe a little tired from being at the kennel which is normal for her. But Monday she was still lathargic and not wanting to go outside, drinking water but not eating. By the evening she was more lathargic and was having seizures that wo...	wildthang86	13	746	Aug 28, 2008 by Maria123
	Guilt trips and Let downs (Preview) So the other night my mom called and said she was too tired to watch my son for my meeting. She then kept asking me if I would take him with me, as it would be too late, etc. Tries to guilt trip me. I did not answer her and did not answer the phone after that. I did take my son to the meeting as I needed a meet...	mslouise	3	610	Aug 28, 2008 by maresie
	Sometimes being the scapegoat stings... (Preview) Many years ago, my oldest AD went into an adolescent treatment unit due to chronic rage issues and other behavior that had escalated. She had just graduated 8th grade. We had family nights and family sessions, and at one point, I asked my parents if they would like to come for a family counseling sessio...	Tenderheartsks	3	1711	Aug 28, 2008 by maresie
	Who's fault is it anyway?? (Preview) Part of my anger problem with alcoholism, is the question of fault. It's the A's choice to drink but not their fault. The consequences of their actions is felt by everyone around them, but it's not their fault. If they get in the car drunk and kill someone, the fault lies on them in the eyes of the cour...	olg1213	12	605	Aug 28, 2008 by liljeannie
	how to detach from unkept commitments (Preview) I'm new to AlAnon, and I'm learning every day about how ALL the relationships in my family are screwed up. My 15 year old daughter has a pattern of making specific commitments to me and then not keeping them. So I've checked up on her... nagged her... managed her life for her. For a tiny example, she's ta...	Jen57	3	521	Aug 28, 2008 by maresie
	somebody stop me!!!!!!!!! (Preview) I am sitting at my desk seething. My manager is someone that was a friend of mine before I started working here. She is my sister's best friend. I have been here for going on 12 years and most of the time it is great. I love my job but am getting fed up with the way she runs the office. Over the years the power has...	Gailey	11	666	Aug 28, 2008 by lilms
	NEW HERE AND NEED ADVICE FROM RECOVERING PEOPLE (Preview) Need advice, so I thank you in advance. Have a family member (brother in law) who is an alcoholic. Actually several of them are. My husband is a Sober man- does not drink and helpless in this matter. His mother recently died & the brother of my husband is now homeless (actually in the next few day...	MommaMia14	7	1029	Aug 28, 2008 by RLC
	For all you beautiful ladies here at MIP Alanon (Preview) http://www.shydogsdesigns.com/temp/TearsofaWoman.pps	Tenderheartsks	1	570	Aug 27, 2008 by J.R.
	Why is it that...... (Preview) the A can schedule a meeting, interview; yet, never make a commitment for us to do anything? It always has to be on the spur of the moment. I don't mind being spontaneous once in a while, but I can't live my life that way when I have a child to consider. Everything seems to be on his terms. He can go out to bars,...	kissers	6	516	Aug 27, 2008 by maresie
	UGH (Preview) Well, it had been over 2 weeks since I spoke with my ex who is currently sitting in rehab out in California. Today my 'moment of anger' subsided and I decided to call his room knowing that the chances of him answering the phone were slim. They are hardly ever in their room but once in a while one of his 'roo...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	8	635	Aug 27, 2008 by lin0606
	connecting the past with the present (Preview) My sweet younger sister has a saying about our family which is, "remember when we were all so happy, back in 1994". It's kinda funny, but oh so true. That was the time when we (brothers and sisters) were all just out of college, getting married, first real jobs, having little kids. Yeah, they...	Loupiness	6	590	Aug 27, 2008 by maresie
	Sooo angry!! (Preview) After a really awesome weekend with my boyfriend and children this morning I have caught myself thinking about my ex A B/F who still sits in rehab. I havent spoken with him in over 2 weeks, but I cant help but have such anger towards him today. How could someone that has lost so much due to an alcohol/dr...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	10	661	Aug 27, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	August (Preview) This month I have not seen my parents at all. I called them when my baby took his first steps. They called me on my birthday. My father suggested that I record the baby walking and put the video on the net so they can see him. They could come here to see him. I live about an hour away from them. I did go to see them...	StargazerLily	3	469	Aug 26, 2008 by lin0606
	Hey ya'll I am Big Tex (Preview) day one of my journey. When is enough enough? I am at the point in my marriage where I really feel that she would rather be drunk than be with me. And that is ok...what gets me is my eight yr old daughter. It kills me to think of her going through the family break up thing...but it also kills me to see her witne...	BigTex93	9	717	Aug 26, 2008 by debilyn
	Saying "no thanks" to A's entering my life! (Preview) I spent the last two weeks at my sister's and she had a great house guest (along with me) and he and I really hit it off. He was my brother-in-law's best friend. Anyway, we ended up spending quite a bit of time together. He is an A. I was able to have a lot of fun with him without drinking with him and avoiding hi...	Jean4444	9	716	Aug 26, 2008 by ddub
	A Life on Autopilot (Preview) ((((Family)))) In my ftf meeting last night the topic was Mistakes. I read a page out of Courage to Change (pg 60) that I found very interesting. For those of you that don't have the book (you should get it!) it begins by talking about how an automatic pilot on an airplane keeps a plane on its course. It doe...	david62	8	709	Aug 26, 2008 by Jean4444
	Thanks to alanon I think I can do this (please roomies I need you to read this) (Preview) Ya all know I have been struggling with employment issues.. Well I think I have a line on something, although I might need some help from all of you! Please copy and paste the addy below, all the info you need is there! Thanks in advance, Greta http://www.thelopezfamilyonline.com/play.php?first=a...	greta	5	631	Aug 26, 2008 by liljeannie
	How to keep the focus on ME? (Preview) In the beginning of al-anon I really needed to figure out some very specific ways to keep the focus on ME. These could also be looked at as INVESTMENTS in ME. I think it would be really helpful for me, right now, to review this and if there are others out there who can add to the list- GREAT! 1.) Education....	Jean4444	6	617	Aug 26, 2008 by queenie105
	You would not believe the day that I had! (Preview) Guess what? My books/software for college were never shipped out. The order wasn't even processed. I called the book store this morning, talked to the manager, and the lady who was supposed to be processing my order went home sick earlier this morning, and the manager couldn't even find the paperwor...	Tenderheartsks	8	617	Aug 26, 2008 by nmike
	Courage Has Changed me........ (Preview) ((((((Guys))))))))) You all know i am no longer in Al-anon as a group or online, i do however still practice the principles in my everyday life. For over two years i ate, drank and slept Al-anon. I then saw fit to try living my life on my own and gaining some independence. After six months of no fellowship...	ally	2	474	Aug 26, 2008 by kissers
	New (Preview) Hi, I am new here. I have been with my AH for a year and a half. Previously, for twenty years, I was married to an abusive individual. I had to work my escape extremely carefully due to the ex-h's position in the community. Once I got away, I never looked back. I went to therapy, reworked my life and was...	OverTheEdge	8	533	Aug 26, 2008 by maresie
	OK Interview (Preview) I had my interview Friday. It was good. A few questions I just couldn't answer well. I am so glad I applied and went thru the process. It gave me confidence in myself and know that I will be ok whether I get the job or not. I went into the interview with all of your esh and my higher power. It doesn't get any bett...	nmike	3	652	Aug 26, 2008 by CJ
	I really don't understand... (Preview) My friend called me and asked me if I wanted to come over for lunch. I thought it was unusual for her to make me lunch. I went over her house and we had lunch. The next thing I knew she had asked me to watch her little daughter while she made a call to a customer (she works from home). I was playing with her daught...	kissers	5	591	Aug 26, 2008 by kissers
	Fell off the wagon-Beware post about my own addiction. (Preview) So the A called me Thursday night to see what I was doing this weekend. We ended up going out Friday night and both "used." Now I feel worthless and guilty and lonely and miss him all over again. It breaks my heart that I cannot seem to be able to be around him and not use with him. It breaks my h...	Codependent	11	606	Aug 26, 2008 by carolinagirl
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.