Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mslouise · mslouise

Our meeting tonight was about changes. When it came my turn to talk, I was surprised at how I felt about this. I said even though I am devasted and miss the bf that I knew and loved more than anything, I don't miss the disease that has him now. And that surpisingly, I am welcoming the changes of the future...

jkprewett · jkprewett

I am in need of some advice/help. I was told about Alanon from a friend. I remember going to alateen when I was VERY young but I couldnt tell you what it was about or anything about it. I grew up with an alcoholic father who I was separated from at the age of 8 and got dropped off at his door step at 17. I quickly f...

mslouise · mslouise

So I fell of the wagon and called my exbf today. Blocked my number so he couldn't see it. (hopefully that worked) Don't know why, I just had the over desire urge to tell him about my strenghs lately. (becuase I knew the real him would be proud of me...why I cared who knows?) So I tell him, I am doing really...

stormie · stormie

My AH usually attends two meetings per week. That's pretty much his program for the time being. He has had several occassions where he drank. Most of the time he sneaks drinks in the garage or along side the house. He thinks he is sneaking, but it is quite obvious when he drinks. The other night, he le...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just got home a while ago..my a is getting on my nerves and i guess i on hers anyway...to much to talk about...bullcrap all over the place do i love her...do i want to be with her...am i sick of her...is she too needy...am i a creep etc etc etc i would like to lead a great..fantastic charismatic free life......

MommaMia14 · MommaMia14

anyone here having problems with food and compulsively over eating? struggling with balance in life? i am. I just need to hear how other's handle this part of life as well as everything else posted here. I need some help. thank you.

roxygirl · roxygirl

My son is my alcoholic, he is 24 yrs. old. He has no respect for me, I guess because he thinks he can walk all over me and I will be right there for him when ever he needs my help. I have to confess, my unconditional love has gotten in the way many times. But this time he really hurt me!! I told him I would be at...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, The job interview is tomorrow and I have prepared well, got all literature off on time, and for the first time ever while A's around me having been having a melt down. (1) When I collected my sister from the airport and drove her to my father's and very sick step mothers, he was very canned and emo...

Suzannah · Suzannah

After my last three or four posts I have spent some time going back over my earlier posts. Unfortunately, as I changed my name the posts I started with in October of last year were not available to me, or leastways I was not successful in accessing them. It was enough to go back to the beginning of Suzanna...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

First of all, I need to ask you to bear with me, as my keyboard died, and I am using the on-screen one. Anyway, I am back with my A boyfriend, and, believe me---it doesn't get better till we get better, and the'it' is us. I am still going thru heck with the chronic pain and deression. I belong to an online chro...

mslouise · mslouise

It was my first weekend without my exbf. I just wanted to let you all know how much you have helped me with all your kind words. I did pretty well. Still having doubts, but I also have beliefs in myself. When I was with my bf and he laid out his hunting plans, I too laid out mine. At the time, I made a promis...

charlescharles · charlescharles

hey..just thoughts on my mind like why is my ex girlfriend and her family constantly in my recurring dreams while my present girlfriend..in the same dreams...seems to be going in a different direction...like she leaves and the ex comes into the dreams anyway..still doing what i think i should be doi...

kennymack · kennymack

I want to thank you all for the replies to my post the other day about my brother. You really gave mom and I a lot of good information, and a lot to think about. Here is a quick update on the situation: He's left the hospital bed, and was baker acted and moved to the behavioral health section for an undetermi...

lmw · lmw

My A has been sober since mid-April and is almost halfway through a 6 month rehab program. He has been working a "get well" job but looking for something more permanent. Since he hasn't been working long, hasn't been getting 40 hours, and doesn't make much money, he hasn't been paying chi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Hey y'all! Just an update! I am doing better. I am still moving until Sept. 30th. It is a slow process, but I am getting things done. Thanks to God, I have my wits about me and that I haven't gotten too overwhelmed! I'll get back to you when the moving is closer to getting done or when it is completed and I am...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), Just thought I would update you. I went and had my physical yesterday. Last time I was back there, I was with my Tim. Hard to go back to that office. The doctor's nurse use to take care of Tim when he was with another doctor. I gave him one of Tim's memorial cards. He didn't realize...

charlescharles · charlescharles

oh my god..my a is crazy..she is so out of it sometimes it is amazing..she aient drinking or drugging and seems to be being productive since she got back from where she was but she is a mess she knows i am not in love with her...and even thinks there is no future with us...and she knows she really did go over b...

jewely · jewely

yesterday was a crazy day. we had the back hoe out here on our property to dig the electric lines. we did the safety calls first, they came out and told us where the lines were and where it was safe to dig. my husband being an excavator by trade operated the hoe. he hit a hidden line. out goes the power, up cam...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello family, In my last post, I was angry, frustrated and working towards a solution, or him seeing MY point of view. Well, he did, he is not happy about it, but whats done is done. I am now the owner of a 2001 Nissan Altima, totally paid for and totally in my name. Though he is unhappy about this, and has...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Beginning a new job Training information coming in at break neck speed Driving on interstates long since driven Trying my hand back out in the work world Alarms, Timers, Supervisors, Buzzers From sedate to intense Appropriate appearance required Less then confident in new found techniques Peopl...

kitty · kitty

Hello family! Everyone I have talked to so far is doing okay. Most of Houston is still without any power... driving is hazardous b/c there are no traffic lights. The city is having a curfew all week, so no driving between dusk to dawn. Somehow I was one of the first 100,000 to have power restored. Th...

Diva · Diva

Had a grand time in Hawaii. He went. No drinking. Just loads of fun in paradise. I had made up my mind to give "us" another chance. But, the last few days he has been having, "a drink." A drink, keep in mind, is a half-pint of gin. This evening I had a new friend in. SOmeone I lik...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I have not had any electricity for a week! wow! I am so glad to have it back. I will be in touch more soon. I even get to do laundry finally! And I get to cook my own meals again! I have a huge gratitude list today. Hugs, J.

mslouise · mslouise

Please bere with me as I am having a really hard time. My family says my exbf wants me to think down on myself. Wants me to feel all the blame. Wants me to doubt myself. I know I was getting stronger because I wouldn't take some of the downing comments he used to say to me like "you have no friends&qu...

Aljani · Aljani

I have been dealing with my husband for over 12 years now but the last couple of years have been extremely hard. Seems he is drinking way more ever since I got pregnant with our third child, then my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer and died 8 months later and about a month after she passed away my 10 daug...

cherrygirl30 · cherrygirl30

Hi everyone, I posted in here a couple of times re: my A-ExBf and how we split... Well, turns out i've been doing pretty well in keeping away from him. Thankfully he hasnt contacted me either (or tried to). I have however been approached by other guys (one in particular) and we've actually been chatti...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I do have a sponsor who is a double winner. She has been working the steps with me and she did admit that she only knows one way to work the steps and that is the AA way. I have heard it said that the 4th step in AA is different from the one in Al-Anon. Can someone clarify this for me? Thanks

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi everyone, The last few weeks have been really tough. I finally understand that I matter, and my son matters, enough to create a boundary for my AH. My boundary was that I didnt want to live with AH if he continued to drink and be drunk in our home. My AH "moved out" and has been gone now for 3 day...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just abit restless tonight..thinking about what i can do to make my life the best i can...trying to find some self love here..where i put my wants and needs before the others..and do what i need to do to get the ball rolling in my own life not having to worry or take care of the other..making it so they can de...

mslouise · mslouise

So as you all know my "sober"abf moved himself out on Monday. I told him please do not take any money out of the account as we had pending payments - 1 of which was for a medical bill for him (we didn't have much in there anyways). On Tuesday am he texted me saying he withdrew $50. Asked him ag...

debilyn · debilyn

I am still sick from the horrendous behavior of the driver I had to Ca. Being stuck like that, with no choice was so horrible. I do not see how anyone could live like that day to day with out going crazy. My A was not that type of abusive. Plus I could leave or whatever, was never stuck. My prayers and love to yo...

marmare · marmare

Most of you know that my 2nd oldest son's wife has cystic fibrosis. She is once again in the hospital but not for the usual "tune up" they have found something on the lympnoids near her lungs and her lungs. They are not sure if it's an infection or cancer. Please say a short prayer. She told...

mslouise · mslouise

I am very sad, very angry. My soberbf left me on Monday. From my previous post, you can see we have been struggling lately since he got laid off his job 4 weeks ago. Before he got laid off we were talking about marriage (we even got joint checking account which I would have never done if I didn't feel righ...

liljeannie · liljeannie

GRRRRR!! I am so angry and so frustrated right now. I am trying to get myself a car. In my earlier posts I mentioned that I have a brand new jeep, abf pays for this vehicle...its a lease, so the registration is in the name of the bank. I drive it...after July 4th, he has never driven it again. I have told...

Mariner · Mariner

Just sitting here trying to pluck up courage to go to my first F2F meeting. Talking myself out of it, not sure it's the place for me, not sure I'll fit in, not sure I'll be of any use........ If I thought for one minute you guys would be there I'd be ok..... I'd get there early... Got 30 mins to decide

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

We have this sort of situation, I don't think it's that uncommon, we can't live seperately for financial reasons. Or it at least complicates things. I'm trying so hard to live my life like he is not a part of it. It's not that hard, I try to avoid any situation where I need him (child care, help around the ho...

joyoma · joyoma

Just to say I had my #2 operation Monday to remove the lung met from right lobe. The schedule and routine was same as July. I am now home and gingerly breathing and trying to move normally. This one a bit more painful than #1 but I think it is because it was on my right and I am so right dominant. My son was my c...

marmare · marmare

My daughter inlaw is being released. Tests negative......seems the CF inflamed nodules horribly......Thanks you for the prayers!!!! Hugs

Becky1 · Becky1

I finally see it! Serenity! Isn't it funny how....we always think we know what we want, and ask and ask and beg HP for it, and cry and moan cos He's not giving us what we think we want? THEN, when we finally Let Go and Let God, the blessing flow so quickly like Manna, that we cannot even fathom how much and how g...

Rita G · Rita G

Well Southwest Louisiana was affected by Ike also - we did NOT receive the really bad winds - ours was only 50-65 mph with a few gust up to around 80-85 mph. But we have had tremendous amounts of water from the storm surge. All of Cameron Parish & a good marjority of Calcasieu Parish is flooded - as you w...

CJ · CJ

Family -- This weekend was filled with emotion, stress, anxiety - then gratitude and humbleness. as drama has not escaped me, totally, my partner and I dealt with a complication, induction, then emergency caesarian. she was amazing, showing me the strength and courage of a mother that are rarely m...

kennymack · kennymack

Hi everyone. I'm new here, and I found this forum out of desparation! I'll try to make this horribly long story as brief as I can. I have a 52 year old severly alcoholic brother living with my 78 year old mom. I'm staying there now also because of the situation. He is on full diability, in need of many organ...

Jen57 · Jen57

I'm pretty new to AlAnon and loving the glimpses of serenity that I see. So, for me, starting to work the program has meant creating some distance between myself and my husband. (He's not the A, my stepson is, but my H is an ACOA). Doing more of my own thing--feels good, but also lonely. So I've started try...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I met with my attorney an hour beforehand to go over things. He warned me that as luck would have it, we drew one of the toughest judges out of that area office. Sigh. It lasted 90 grueling minutes, and the chair was so uncomfortable that I had to keep shifting from one hip to the other with my bad back. Halfw...

nmike · nmike

I attended an awesome AA/Alanon camp-out this weekend on the Hopi Reservation in Arizona. Freedom in Sobriety. The speakers were inspiring - AA, Alanon, and Alateen. The Alateen speakers in particular were so powerful. I went to sleep under a full moon listening to a drum group. I am committed to ke...

maresie · maresie

Today I had the unfortunate position of being stuck with someone else's mistake at work. I had an idea I might be. I have been there and done that many times. On the other hand since I have been working really super hard to get through many of the obstacles in front of me a request I asked for to do with the w...

charlescharles · charlescharles

thanks for some of the feedback i got on my last post..maybe i am not ready yet..maybe i haven't gone through enough pain..maybe things will change..not cut off but change maybe i will move away..or maybe at some point i will find the courage to stop picking up the phone or maybe i still haven't learnt th...

Nicole · Nicole

For me, this has been tough. I've been told to get it all done and don't let it just drag out for months so that's what I'm trying to do. It's really discouraging though because when you start looking at the past and seeing all the things you are carrying with you on a daily basis, it's really sad. Resentmen...

debilyn · debilyn

Off we go again with Tim driving. He started talking himself awake, I begged him to pull overhe refused. I said I have to go to the br. he says whatever in a very mean way that basically was so what, He finally stops, I limp into the dark rest room scared and got sick. Not wanting to get back into the van. T...

malauba777 · malauba777

Hi! I am a newbie because I can no longer deal with what is going on in my life with out some support. I have taken xanax to deal with it in the past and quit taking that and now experiencing anxiety attacks due to not wanting to deal with confrontation. My mother-in-law is an alcoholic. The only things t...

ddub · ddub

I have been reading in the search mode and I just had to share one of the best explanations I have ever read about talking to our kids. The things I learn in al anon can be used in all our affairs and this has been expanded for me re: honesty with our kids. Love this and send thanks to John for this posted r...

thetalady · thetalady

I just had an epiphany! I grew up as a child with an alcoholic father. During those years, it was drilled into my siblings and me that what went on in the house was a secret. The funny thing was that as I grew up and started sharing some of the "secrets" with close friends and neighbors, they all s...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

AH drinks daily, just lost his driver's liscence due to DUI. We have two kids. I want a separation, he is supposedly looking for a place, we sleep in seperate rooms. OK, so, last night, a great band comes to town, and I wanna go, but I work till late. Halfway through, they are slow and permit me to leave earl...

debilyn · debilyn

Arnold and Nic's great adventure. excuse the mistakes I am pooped. crosspost pl This all started from, I believe, Alexis sent out pictures of Arnold and nic over the internet. They were stuck in a shelter in LA,Ca. Janice of "Heartsonnoses" pig sanctary sent me an email. "Deb, these...

maresie · maresie

During all the stages of recovery I've learned a lot. There is however a special grace in being in al anon. When I was first in recovery from codependency I felt I had to convert everyone. I was always recommending books (I still do that). I used to give people my books and then go out and get another copy...

charlescharles · charlescharles

i'm getting really sick of talking about the same stuff over and over again..but it looks like my a is coming back into town...and even though i say i will keep an open mind to it..i am nervous and pretty doubtful anything will really change i am prepared this time to take some steps..boundaries...and e...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, I havent been here for a bit, I have been so busy working on my plan....only the more I work on it, the guiltier I feel. Abf has been basically kissing my behind since the ugly head of aggression and alcohol reared it itself bruising me and breaking a small bone in my foot. He has been sober fo...

maresie · maresie

Suddenly out of the blue the ex A is back calling me several times a day. On the weekend he called 15 times and just blocked up my entire voice mail. So on Sunday I switched my phone off (to airplane mode). Then I got into trouble because no one could reach me who needed to reach me. I have made a huge point of no...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear all, It seems to be boundary test for me at the moment, my work situation has turned insecure, I knew this was likely, and I will be lucky to sitting at a desk next week, I will have work until december though but have no workspace, I'll get over it. A friend who I thought was really for me has let me down,...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hi Family, Well, Lynn, it was you who prompted me to take the bit between my teeth and be brave. I sent out an email to my church support group telling them just how I am feeling right now particularly and how I am not managing weekends at all and feel isolated blah blah... you know the rest if you read my prev...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Balled all the way home, but in a good way (Preview) Our meeting tonight was about changes. When it came my turn to talk, I was surprised at how I felt about this. I said even though I am devasted and miss the bf that I knew and loved more than anything, I don't miss the disease that has him now. And that surpisingly, I am welcoming the changes of the future...	mslouise	3	604	Sep 24, 2008 by maresie
	New to Alanon and need help! (Preview) I am in need of some advice/help. I was told about Alanon from a friend. I remember going to alateen when I was VERY young but I couldnt tell you what it was about or anything about it. I grew up with an alcoholic father who I was separated from at the age of 8 and got dropped off at his door step at 17. I quickly f...	jkprewett	9	581	Sep 24, 2008 by maire rua
	feel off the wagon (Preview) So I fell of the wagon and called my exbf today. Blocked my number so he couldn't see it. (hopefully that worked) Don't know why, I just had the over desire urge to tell him about my strenghs lately. (becuase I knew the real him would be proud of me...why I cared who knows?) So I tell him, I am doing really...	mslouise	4	525	Sep 24, 2008 by Jean4444
	Driving Drunk (Preview) My AH usually attends two meetings per week. That's pretty much his program for the time being. He has had several occassions where he drank. Most of the time he sneaks drinks in the garage or along side the house. He thinks he is sneaking, but it is quite obvious when he drinks. The other night, he le...	stormie	11	1521	Sep 23, 2008 by stormie
	another day (Preview) just got home a while ago..my a is getting on my nerves and i guess i on hers anyway...to much to talk about...bullcrap all over the place do i love her...do i want to be with her...am i sick of her...is she too needy...am i a creep etc etc etc i would like to lead a great..fantastic charismatic free life......	charlescharles	3	448	Sep 23, 2008 by maresie
	food addiction? (Preview) anyone here having problems with food and compulsively over eating? struggling with balance in life? i am. I just need to hear how other's handle this part of life as well as everything else posted here. I need some help. thank you.	MommaMia14	4	1296	Sep 23, 2008 by carolinagirl
	NEED ADVICE! (Preview) My son is my alcoholic, he is 24 yrs. old. He has no respect for me, I guess because he thinks he can walk all over me and I will be right there for him when ever he needs my help. I have to confess, my unconditional love has gotten in the way many times. But this time he really hurt me!! I told him I would be at...	roxygirl	7	618	Sep 23, 2008 by abbyal
	Practising detaching (Preview) Dear All, The job interview is tomorrow and I have prepared well, got all literature off on time, and for the first time ever while A's around me having been having a melt down. (1) When I collected my sister from the airport and drove her to my father's and very sick step mothers, he was very canned and emo...	maire rua	3	500	Sep 23, 2008 by maire rua
	Miracle in progress (Preview) After my last three or four posts I have spent some time going back over my earlier posts. Unfortunately, as I changed my name the posts I started with in October of last year were not available to me, or leastways I was not successful in accessing them. It was enough to go back to the beginning of Suzanna...	Suzannah	6	1242	Sep 22, 2008 by lin0606
	I need an 'attitude adjustment'-having a rough time (Preview) First of all, I need to ask you to bear with me, as my keyboard died, and I am using the on-screen one. Anyway, I am back with my A boyfriend, and, believe me---it doesn't get better till we get better, and the'it' is us. I am still going thru heck with the chronic pain and deression. I belong to an online chro...	hippietrippiechick	5	398	Sep 22, 2008 by maresie
	My weekend - Thank you all - slowly moving foward (Preview) It was my first weekend without my exbf. I just wanted to let you all know how much you have helped me with all your kind words. I did pretty well. Still having doubts, but I also have beliefs in myself. When I was with my bf and he laid out his hunting plans, I too laid out mine. At the time, I made a promis...	mslouise	4	515	Sep 22, 2008 by maresie
	still sharing (Preview) hey..just thoughts on my mind like why is my ex girlfriend and her family constantly in my recurring dreams while my present girlfriend..in the same dreams...seems to be going in a different direction...like she leaves and the ex comes into the dreams anyway..still doing what i think i should be doi...	charlescharles	3	479	Sep 22, 2008 by kitty
	Thank you all for your thoughtful replies (Preview) I want to thank you all for the replies to my post the other day about my brother. You really gave mom and I a lot of good information, and a lot to think about. Here is a quick update on the situation: He's left the hospital bed, and was baker acted and moved to the behavioral health section for an undetermi...	kennymack	3	493	Sep 22, 2008 by kitty
	Once an A, always a ..... liar? (Preview) My A has been sober since mid-April and is almost halfway through a 6 month rehab program. He has been working a "get well" job but looking for something more permanent. Since he hasn't been working long, hasn't been getting 40 hours, and doesn't make much money, he hasn't been paying chi...	lmw	7	1825	Sep 22, 2008 by Karilynn
	Still moving! (Preview) Hey y'all! Just an update! I am doing better. I am still moving until Sept. 30th. It is a slow process, but I am getting things done. Thanks to God, I have my wits about me and that I haven't gotten too overwhelmed! I'll get back to you when the moving is closer to getting done or when it is completed and I am...	Hoot Nanny	2	364	Sep 22, 2008 by Suzannah
	Check Up (Preview) (((((Family))))), Just thought I would update you. I went and had my physical yesterday. Last time I was back there, I was with my Tim. Hard to go back to that office. The doctor's nurse use to take care of Tim when he was with another doctor. I gave him one of Tim's memorial cards. He didn't realize...	Karilynn	10	512	Sep 22, 2008 by Suzannah
	need to rant (Preview) oh my god..my a is crazy..she is so out of it sometimes it is amazing..she aient drinking or drugging and seems to be being productive since she got back from where she was but she is a mess she knows i am not in love with her...and even thinks there is no future with us...and she knows she really did go over b...	charlescharles	4	418	Sep 21, 2008 by glad lee
	much ado about nothing[to big] (Preview) yesterday was a crazy day. we had the back hoe out here on our property to dig the electric lines. we did the safety calls first, they came out and told us where the lines were and where it was safe to dig. my husband being an excavator by trade operated the hoe. he hit a hidden line. out goes the power, up cam...	jewely	4	458	Sep 21, 2008 by jewely
	1 step closer...yay! (Preview) Hello family, In my last post, I was angry, frustrated and working towards a solution, or him seeing MY point of view. Well, he did, he is not happy about it, but whats done is done. I am now the owner of a 2001 Nissan Altima, totally paid for and totally in my name. Though he is unhappy about this, and has...	liljeannie	1	357	Sep 21, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	New Changes, New Choices.... (Preview) Beginning a new job Training information coming in at break neck speed Driving on interstates long since driven Trying my hand back out in the work world Alarms, Timers, Supervisors, Buzzers From sedate to intense Appropriate appearance required Less then confident in new found techniques Peopl...	Peggy7	4	575	Sep 21, 2008 by aunitedway
	Ike Aftermath (Preview) Hello family! Everyone I have talked to so far is doing okay. Most of Houston is still without any power... driving is hazardous b/c there are no traffic lights. The city is having a curfew all week, so no driving between dusk to dawn. Somehow I was one of the first 100,000 to have power restored. Th...	kitty	9	495	Sep 21, 2008 by aunitedway
	Back to step #1....sigh.... (Preview) Had a grand time in Hawaii. He went. No drinking. Just loads of fun in paradise. I had made up my mind to give "us" another chance. But, the last few days he has been having, "a drink." A drink, keep in mind, is a half-pint of gin. This evening I had a new friend in. SOmeone I lik...	Diva	23	746	Sep 21, 2008 by Jill
	I have electricity! (Preview) I have not had any electricity for a week! wow! I am so glad to have it back. I will be in touch more soon. I even get to do laundry finally! And I get to cook my own meals again! I have a huge gratitude list today. Hugs, J.	Jean4444	3	382	Sep 21, 2008 by ddub
	please help having a hard time...sorry to go on and on (Preview) Please bere with me as I am having a really hard time. My family says my exbf wants me to think down on myself. Wants me to feel all the blame. Wants me to doubt myself. I know I was getting stronger because I wouldn't take some of the downing comments he used to say to me like "you have no friends&qu...	mslouise	8	569	Sep 20, 2008 by serendipity
	Would like some advice (Preview) I have been dealing with my husband for over 12 years now but the last couple of years have been extremely hard. Seems he is drinking way more ever since I got pregnant with our third child, then my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer and died 8 months later and about a month after she passed away my 10 daug...	Aljani	5	627	Sep 20, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Still Going Strong! (Preview) Hi everyone, I posted in here a couple of times re: my A-ExBf and how we split... Well, turns out i've been doing pretty well in keeping away from him. Thankfully he hasnt contacted me either (or tried to). I have however been approached by other guys (one in particular) and we've actually been chatti...	cherrygirl30	4	477	Sep 20, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	How does an AA 4th step differ from Al-Anon 4th Step (Preview) I do have a sponsor who is a double winner. She has been working the steps with me and she did admit that she only knows one way to work the steps and that is the AA way. I have heard it said that the 4th step in AA is different from the one in Al-Anon. Can someone clarify this for me? Thanks	Mobirdie	6	6435	Sep 20, 2008 by Mobirdie
	Why do I feel like something bad is headed my way? (Preview) Hi everyone, The last few weeks have been really tough. I finally understand that I matter, and my son matters, enough to create a boundary for my AH. My boundary was that I didnt want to live with AH if he continued to drink and be drunk in our home. My AH "moved out" and has been gone now for 3 day...	Rocky38	5	589	Sep 20, 2008 by Maria123
	how do u live a good life (Preview) just abit restless tonight..thinking about what i can do to make my life the best i can...trying to find some self love here..where i put my wants and needs before the others..and do what i need to do to get the ball rolling in my own life not having to worry or take care of the other..making it so they can de...	charlescharles	5	522	Sep 20, 2008 by Karilynn
	the saga continues.... (Preview) So as you all know my "sober"abf moved himself out on Monday. I told him please do not take any money out of the account as we had pending payments - 1 of which was for a medical bill for him (we didn't have much in there anyways). On Tuesday am he texted me saying he withdrew $50. Asked him ag...	mslouise	6	431	Sep 19, 2008 by serendipity
	How do you do it????? (Preview) I am still sick from the horrendous behavior of the driver I had to Ca. Being stuck like that, with no choice was so horrible. I do not see how anyone could live like that day to day with out going crazy. My A was not that type of abusive. Plus I could leave or whatever, was never stuck. My prayers and love to yo...	debilyn	4	412	Sep 19, 2008 by serendipity
	prayer request (Preview) Most of you know that my 2nd oldest son's wife has cystic fibrosis. She is once again in the hospital but not for the usual "tune up" they have found something on the lympnoids near her lungs and her lungs. They are not sure if it's an infection or cancer. Please say a short prayer. She told...	marmare	3	426	Sep 19, 2008 by cookie1971
	Very sad and confused - he left me (Preview) I am very sad, very angry. My soberbf left me on Monday. From my previous post, you can see we have been struggling lately since he got laid off his job 4 weeks ago. Before he got laid off we were talking about marriage (we even got joint checking account which I would have never done if I didn't feel righ...	mslouise	13	724	Sep 19, 2008 by stormie
	All around the mulberry bush...... (Preview) GRRRRR!! I am so angry and so frustrated right now. I am trying to get myself a car. In my earlier posts I mentioned that I have a brand new jeep, abf pays for this vehicle...its a lease, so the registration is in the name of the bank. I drive it...after July 4th, he has never driven it again. I have told...	liljeannie	5	548	Sep 19, 2008 by lin0606
	F2F (Preview) Just sitting here trying to pluck up courage to go to my first F2F meeting. Talking myself out of it, not sure it's the place for me, not sure I'll fit in, not sure I'll be of any use........ If I thought for one minute you guys would be there I'd be ok..... I'd get there early... Got 30 mins to decide	Mariner	12	631	Sep 19, 2008 by Rita G
	living together and detaching (Preview) We have this sort of situation, I don't think it's that uncommon, we can't live seperately for financial reasons. Or it at least complicates things. I'm trying so hard to live my life like he is not a part of it. It's not that hard, I try to avoid any situation where I need him (child care, help around the ho...	RainyJamie	6	546	Sep 19, 2008 by Rita G
	lung surgery #2 (Preview) Just to say I had my #2 operation Monday to remove the lung met from right lobe. The schedule and routine was same as July. I am now home and gingerly breathing and trying to move normally. This one a bit more painful than #1 but I think it is because it was on my right and I am so right dominant. My son was my c...	joyoma	7	448	Sep 18, 2008 by ddub
	Update (Preview) My daughter inlaw is being released. Tests negative......seems the CF inflamed nodules horribly......Thanks you for the prayers!!!! Hugs	marmare	4	304	Sep 18, 2008 by queenie105
	HP Has a Great Sense of Humor (Preview) I finally see it! Serenity! Isn't it funny how....we always think we know what we want, and ask and ask and beg HP for it, and cry and moan cos He's not giving us what we think we want? THEN, when we finally Let Go and Let God, the blessing flow so quickly like Manna, that we cannot even fathom how much and how g...	Becky1	5	318	Sep 18, 2008 by kitty
	Surviving Ike (Preview) Well Southwest Louisiana was affected by Ike also - we did NOT receive the really bad winds - ours was only 50-65 mph with a few gust up to around 80-85 mph. But we have had tremendous amounts of water from the storm surge. All of Cameron Parish & a good marjority of Calcasieu Parish is flooded - as you w...	Rita G	4	776	Sep 18, 2008 by Maria123
	Announcing --- (Preview) Family -- This weekend was filled with emotion, stress, anxiety - then gratitude and humbleness. as drama has not escaped me, totally, my partner and I dealt with a complication, induction, then emergency caesarian. she was amazing, showing me the strength and courage of a mother that are rarely m...	CJ	17	1107	Sep 18, 2008 by Maria123
	Desperately need some advice (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new here, and I found this forum out of desparation! I'll try to make this horribly long story as brief as I can. I have a 52 year old severly alcoholic brother living with my 78 year old mom. I'm staying there now also because of the situation. He is on full diability, in need of many organ...	kennymack	6	714	Sep 18, 2008 by Maria123
	Am I crazy or what?? (Preview) I'm pretty new to AlAnon and loving the glimpses of serenity that I see. So, for me, starting to work the program has meant creating some distance between myself and my husband. (He's not the A, my stepson is, but my H is an ACOA). Doing more of my own thing--feels good, but also lonely. So I've started try...	Jen57	6	406	Sep 18, 2008 by Maria123
	Had my disability hearing today. (Preview) I met with my attorney an hour beforehand to go over things. He warned me that as luck would have it, we drew one of the toughest judges out of that area office. Sigh. It lasted 90 grueling minutes, and the chair was so uncomfortable that I had to keep shifting from one hip to the other with my bad back. Halfw...	Tenderheartsks	3	498	Sep 18, 2008 by Maria123
	Awesome Camp-out for AA/Alanon (Preview) I attended an awesome AA/Alanon camp-out this weekend on the Hopi Reservation in Arizona. Freedom in Sobriety. The speakers were inspiring - AA, Alanon, and Alateen. The Alateen speakers in particular were so powerful. I went to sleep under a full moon listening to a drum group. I am committed to ke...	nmike	3	576	Sep 18, 2008 by Maria123
	good and bad (Preview) Today I had the unfortunate position of being stuck with someone else's mistake at work. I had an idea I might be. I have been there and done that many times. On the other hand since I have been working really super hard to get through many of the obstacles in front of me a request I asked for to do with the w...	maresie	3	403	Sep 18, 2008 by Maria123
	hello all (Preview) thanks for some of the feedback i got on my last post..maybe i am not ready yet..maybe i haven't gone through enough pain..maybe things will change..not cut off but change maybe i will move away..or maybe at some point i will find the courage to stop picking up the phone or maybe i still haven't learnt th...	charlescharles	0	299	Sep 17, 2008 by charlescharles
	4th step inventory (Preview) For me, this has been tough. I've been told to get it all done and don't let it just drag out for months so that's what I'm trying to do. It's really discouraging though because when you start looking at the past and seeing all the things you are carrying with you on a daily basis, it's really sad. Resentmen...	Nicole	5	5120	Sep 17, 2008 by Suzannah
	part two (Preview) Off we go again with Tim driving. He started talking himself awake, I begged him to pull overhe refused. I said I have to go to the br. he says whatever in a very mean way that basically was so what, He finally stops, I limp into the dark rest room scared and got sick. Not wanting to get back into the van. T...	debilyn	2	471	Sep 17, 2008 by maresie
	Crazy mother in law! (Preview) Hi! I am a newbie because I can no longer deal with what is going on in my life with out some support. I have taken xanax to deal with it in the past and quit taking that and now experiencing anxiety attacks due to not wanting to deal with confrontation. My mother-in-law is an alcoholic. The only things t...	malauba777	12	1682	Sep 17, 2008 by malauba777
	kids (Preview) I have been reading in the search mode and I just had to share one of the best explanations I have ever read about talking to our kids. The things I learn in al anon can be used in all our affairs and this has been expanded for me re: honesty with our kids. Love this and send thanks to John for this posted r...	ddub	6	492	Sep 17, 2008 by Denoraphy
	An Aha! (Preview) I just had an epiphany! I grew up as a child with an alcoholic father. During those years, it was drilled into my siblings and me that what went on in the house was a secret. The funny thing was that as I grew up and started sharing some of the "secrets" with close friends and neighbors, they all s...	thetalady	3	397	Sep 17, 2008 by Denoraphy
	all I give is mixed messages (Preview) AH drinks daily, just lost his driver's liscence due to DUI. We have two kids. I want a separation, he is supposedly looking for a place, we sleep in seperate rooms. OK, so, last night, a great band comes to town, and I wanna go, but I work till late. Halfway through, they are slow and permit me to leave earl...	RainyJamie	2	464	Sep 17, 2008 by linda
	Very long ride with an A pt 1 (Preview) Arnold and Nic's great adventure. excuse the mistakes I am pooped. crosspost pl This all started from, I believe, Alexis sent out pictures of Arnold and nic over the internet. They were stuck in a shelter in LA,Ca. Janice of "Heartsonnoses" pig sanctary sent me an email. "Deb, these...	debilyn	1	425	Sep 17, 2008 by artygirl
	stages of recovery (Preview) During all the stages of recovery I've learned a lot. There is however a special grace in being in al anon. When I was first in recovery from codependency I felt I had to convert everyone. I was always recommending books (I still do that). I used to give people my books and then go out and get another copy...	maresie	1	404	Sep 17, 2008 by queenie105
	my a is coming back (Preview) i'm getting really sick of talking about the same stuff over and over again..but it looks like my a is coming back into town...and even though i say i will keep an open mind to it..i am nervous and pretty doubtful anything will really change i am prepared this time to take some steps..boundaries...and e...	charlescharles	6	471	Sep 17, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	survival or deception? (Preview) Hello all, I havent been here for a bit, I have been so busy working on my plan....only the more I work on it, the guiltier I feel. Abf has been basically kissing my behind since the ugly head of aggression and alcohol reared it itself bruising me and breaking a small bone in my foot. He has been sober fo...	liljeannie	5	447	Sep 17, 2008 by maresie
	being harassed by the ex A (Preview) Suddenly out of the blue the ex A is back calling me several times a day. On the weekend he called 15 times and just blocked up my entire voice mail. So on Sunday I switched my phone off (to airplane mode). Then I got into trouble because no one could reach me who needed to reach me. I have made a huge point of no...	maresie	17	698	Sep 16, 2008 by maresie
	Setting firm boundaries (Preview) Dear all, It seems to be boundary test for me at the moment, my work situation has turned insecure, I knew this was likely, and I will be lucky to sitting at a desk next week, I will have work until december though but have no workspace, I'll get over it. A friend who I thought was really for me has let me down,...	maire rua	2	324	Sep 16, 2008 by kitty
	Took the bit between my teeth... (Preview) Hi Family, Well, Lynn, it was you who prompted me to take the bit between my teeth and be brave. I sent out an email to my church support group telling them just how I am feeling right now particularly and how I am not managing weekends at all and feel isolated blah blah... you know the rest if you read my prev...	Suzannah	4	561	Sep 16, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.