Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

bluejack · bluejack

After joining AA last Tuesday, i have also ordered some books about being the adult child of an alcoholic. should come next week. My thoughts have been driving me crazy this last week but I didnt have anybody to listen at the time. I am writing a letter to my alcoholic mother, to make me feel better. Dont s...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I was reading a friend's blog and it made me think of this. I am well aware of who I am when I don't like myself, which is pretty much all the time. My opinions, my stubbornness, my neediness, my self sabotoging behavior, on and on...When I started thinking about it though, I came upon an "aha" m...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi All will i have had a few bad day here as my A is back to drinking, however I am have some light t the end. Was told yesterday that his counslors are trying to put him in his own place. Bad part it may take four to six week to get him in. I can not wait looking to see how we can get away for him. I have no family up h...

Loupiness · Loupiness

One of my greatest struggles during this recovery process has been the acknowlegement that what I know in my head, and how I react/respond,have not been in sync with each other. I have always been somewhat of a realistic and based my actions on common sense, logic, and "doing the right thing&qu...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi MIP family. It's been a tough week. I started out feeling strong. Detached with love from the drama of my AH, managing to care for him in his illness, yet not losing it because he is still drinking. Keeping my sanity and not contributing to a "crazy house". Yet, my serenity took a beating o...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I never realised what the death of a second parent would do to me, and it has caused me to be all over the place. The fact that I had not seen my father for nine years was in itself traumatic and whilst he was alive I had hope, when I heard that he had died I felt utterly hopeless. It also brought up so...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Well, yesterday I finally went to see my primary care physician. Although I had gotten over the sore throat/chills, there were other health issues cropping up. My last MRI revealed that not only do I have bulging disks in the area of the spinal stenosis, but I also have bone spurs in that area, which cre...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

When I let go and let God things are more peaceful and go more smoothly. Lately I've been trying to control other people and today I realize it's made me frustrated and exhausted. I've learned I have no control over other people and trying is a waste of time that I could be using to enjoy my life. I've been t...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I have ALWAYS been superindependant, super in control and in need of no one-I kept it that way after my divorce from active A. Now with new ABF I find myself "needing" him and what he has to offer through his serenity and I HATE it. I don't know how to deal with it and it is driving a wedge bet...

roxanne · roxanne

hi everyone....i am new to this, so, i hope this doesn't sound silly. my name is roxanne and i am 28 yrs old. my A is my husband and boy has he put me thru hell the past year or so. i'll start with my husband is more addicted to drugs, mainly meth and cocaine, than anything. but he does like his beer. and no...

ddub · ddub

Over a year ago before I started al anon my emotions were just numb to avoid anymore pain. Early on in the program I started hearing about co dependency which I had just as strong denial for as I did re AH. I have a very judgemental & opininated MIL who was a child psych/school counselor who labeled...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

I guess sometimes like today was really frustrating for me. I worked for my aunt and she had an attitude with me all day again today. I have been good about not letting it bother me but had a slip today. I got frustrated and then I got an attitude. I realized it said the serenity prayer and calmed down. Then I...

angelchar375 · angelchar375

A few weeks back my AH threw a huge tantrum and destroyed the better part of our home. The cops came, yadda, yadda and now he has a warrant for his arrest. We have a marriage counseling session tomorrow and I've been thinking about telling him about the warrant for his arrest at the session. I'm terrified...

LEEA · LEEA

Here I am again, with things changing all the time. I think I am handling this lastest situation the right way, but could use some input. Background: ABF left about a month ago because I was such a "nag" and because I had pulled away from him physically and emotionally. (he is right, I had...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

Hello everyone, I haven't posted in quite some time. Things are both good and confusing for me right now. I am currently waiting for my phone to ring. The ex ABF called me earlier, I called him back and he was on his way into a meeting, so he said he'd call me back when he gets out. I emailed him bc I want to...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi I have had some break thought this. My mother-in-Law had a heart attack on momday. She is going to be ok. My A as for last seen him( at 6:45 this moring)still sober about it is 5:50 P.M. A little worry but trying not to be. But hear is the break throught. We when to see his mother in the hospital last nigh...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I have been with SABF for a year now and things for the most part are great.....when they are great they are AWESOME. When we argue it is terrible. I have communication issues and I think he does too to an extent. He has been married before and divorced and was living wiht his ex fiance for 2 1/2 yrs, th...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((Family))))), To my Alanon Family who are Veterans: HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY! To all who have family & friends who are serving or have served, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you and honor you. My family had many veterans, including my husband, I thank you for all you have done to keep our coun...

tintin · tintin

so this is the hardest day ever, i am 18 weeks pregnant with a boy, am a proud mother of a 2.5 year old boy, and have been married to their father, a recovering alcoholic for three years (he's been in AA for 7 years.) we have been having major marital difficulties for the last year and a half. it's me with the c...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Really struggling today - having a hard time setting and enforcing boundaries and it's got me thinking of taking some sort of action to just get away from the chaos and get what's left of my family put back together. This is fairly long as I need to ramble and get it off my chest, so thanks in advance for be...

bluejack · bluejack

I have read in various posts that some of you have sponsors. i would be very interested to know how i could get one for myself. By the way, i have had a better day today. Thanks to those who have replied. it might take me a while to get used to this website.

BUCKY · BUCKY

I am in love with a recovering addict...so much so that I consider marriage in the future. She is 5 years sober after her relapse ( 5 years sober before that). Every day I worry she will some day pick up again. She said the last time all it took was one "mistaken drink order" to set her back. At the...

Codependent · Codependent

Sometimes I feel like my progress is fake because though I did push him away intially I think he knows if he tried to come back now that I might jump- at least I MIGHT jump- for a while. So I wonder if you could count it as progress when they are choosing not to be with you and you are not sure if you would be with...

NewMom07 · NewMom07

Hey Everyone, Not sure if anyone can help me, but I really need info on how to go about an intervention for my A. Please, any info would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!!

bluejack · bluejack

i am an adult child of an alcoholic, namely my mother. its driving me nuts. i started counselling yesterday but i am not sure if i have connected with the counsellor. there is a lot of deep stuff. who do i turn to? i need to find peace in some form. i am 48 and single and pretty lonely at the moment. i do have so...

smileycat · smileycat

I think I am getting this Fourth Step, But want to know why it hurts? I have found another defect of my and it realy hurts. I have come to understand that I do not get told that I am worth it much and can handle not being told. As i know that i am worth it and a lot more. So here is the question why does it hurt to be to...

Becky1 · Becky1

Once I let go and Let God, my life got so much better. As you know, I left my AH of 8 years marriage, 11+ years of relationship. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I endured mental abuse, some physical abuse, the worst of name calling, threats, family discord between my grown daughter, her husband,...

maresie · maresie

This is not alanon material but I hope it will help someone. I am seeing it as inspiration to celebrate each day. Wage peace with your breath. Breathe in firemen and rubble, breathe out whole buildings and flocks of red wing blackbirds. Breathe in terrorists and breathe out sleeping children and fr...

Rora · Rora

I really hope I can gain some perspective here... As you may know, Ah has been gone from the house 2 wks. We have a 4 yr old son. Ah has been providing before school care to son, but because a recent driving with son incident (official day of our most recent split) Ah, doesn't have any other "visitat...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, the A got arrested AGAIN. This time for driving on revoked. Granted he is on probation. None of this is my business. However, of course relapsing myself, I make it my business to find out from hims mom what is going on. Find out that a friend of his and his ex ex girlfriend are going to pick him up...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello everyone, I had to make a decision to tell my AexH that as much as I wanted to stay on friendly terms, allowing him to see Sully and stay in contact with me, it has just not worked out. Last week I had told him the condition the Doc's are believing I have ... it is not a good prognosis in many cases, inclu...

Rora · Rora

I've been separated from my Ah for 2 1/2 weeks. I am sad. I am very very sad. Sometimes I feel liberated about moving forward. Other times I want to run back to the place I was in, no matter how bad it was, just to have that sense of "normalcy" back. Sometimes I think that my relationship with my...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Let me first start by saying that I am trying to sort out my feelings about a situation that just occured. Input is appreciated for sure!! My AH is really having a hard time, more than usual, matabolising his alcohol. It may be because of all of the meds he is on for his heart and high blood pressure. It does...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

so i wrote a post the other day about my relationship with my codependent bf. he is not an alcoholic or addict but is a acoa and definatly codependent. anyways i see alot of my same behaviors in this relationship as i did when i was with my a. should i be treating him in the same manner i would treat an a??? in...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I AM SAD TO SAY THAT MY CAT DIED LAST NIGHT. SHE WAS THE LAST OF OUR INSIDE CATS. SHE WAS MY FAVORITE OF ALL MY CATS. I AM VERY SAD TODAY. SHE STRUGGLED ALL LAST NIGHT BUT COULDN'T MAKE IT. SHE HAD SEIZURES & KEPT FALLING. I WITNESSED ALL OF IT, TOO. BY THE WAY, SHE IS THE CAT THAT I HAD TROUBLE WITH BEFOR...

Becky1 · Becky1

After a minor setback yesterday, when I panicked a wee little tiny bit, I am feeling much better today. For one thing, this sinus infection is getting much better, I went to work today, and no longer feel all weepy and out of sorts. Thanks to everyone for their ESH, it helps more than you can ever know! It i...

Becky1 · Becky1

After enduring years and years of abuse, I have now fallen in love HARD with someone new. He is everything I ever wanted in a man. The only thing is we live 30 miles apart, which isn't that far, but he has responsibilities at his home, as he moved back in with his parents after his divorce a year ago, and they...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. To me step 6 means that others cannot change me. Others cannot remove my behaviors and problems. Just like I cannot control others behaviors they cannot control mine. I don't have to do anything. I just want to want to change. I am...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

I used and sometimes still am a people pleaser. I am trying to fulfill others needs and many times I forget about myself and taking care of me. I give and give until I'm exhausted and then when no one says thanks I get upset. Sometimes I help people trying to help and people still get mad at me. But, that's li...

debilyn · debilyn

Sometimes I really need to get these out as they tear me up! My life is good, roof no longer leaks, got it so the cats are in by invitation only,got to see my son sunday and get hugged! (o: But my night,even though I was in a very soft feather bed,clean sheets and clean dogs and cats....was tormented by night...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

just starting this topic to hear how others detach and how they deal with anger or rage. please share

smileycat · smileycat

Hi when you set boundries you set them so you or noone goes to far, I understand this. how do you start to set them and know when others have gone over them? I know i need to set boundries and i know how to set so. I am haveing troble in this areas as my A has some mental problems. this mental problems are givin...

liljeannie · liljeannie

'Twas the night before discharge I sat in my house Counting all the ways he behaved like a louse I open my "toolbox" examining each one then replace them in order to get the task done This will not come as an easy feat I am putting a loved one out on the street I am a woman who thru experience has gro...

Fifi · Fifi

I am shakey and upset. I had re-connected with my ex BF A....lots of "healing" talking/sharing/etc . We hadn't been in touch since he moved out sober a year and a half ago. He is a handyman and after offering many times with me hesitating, I said yes, you can do work on my house. I need it done - I t...

curlee-girl · curlee-girl

I finally get the concept of taking the focus off the A and placing it on myself. For some reason, I always thought of it as the focus being on him during our interactions. Then I realized I have a strong tendency to think about him, almost to the point of obsession. We're separated but I began to realize...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello Everyone, I want to share and give thanks for my little miracles this week. I awoke in alot of pain the other day. Bypassing my urge to just let it go I called my doctor and she was oncall with no appointments, was fit in ... full testing and MRI with 15 minutes notice it normally takes weeks ... perha...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I am writing this post because my husband (who is an alcoholic) is also very Catholic. I am also a religious person but not where I feel that I have to go to church every week. I have God in my life everyday in my own way. But anyway my H becomes very upset when I do not choose to go to church and also guilts an...

david62 · david62

Happy Friday ((((Family)))), At my ftf meeting last night the topic was "Taking Care of Ourselves". One of the directions this topic started carrying those sharing was taking care of ourselves by learning to relax. In the 4 and a half years I have been coming to al-anon, I have gone throu...

liljeannie · liljeannie

I dont know where to begin. I spoke with abf's mom earlier today as I still had not heard from him and was beginning to have some uneasy feelings. She told me that he would be coming home on Monday. I was shocked, he has only been in his program for 3 weeks yet it is a 6 week program. I guess his insurance ra...

gknee · gknee

Hi everyone- its been a tough week. It feels that each day brings the inevitability of divorce closer. I want it but I don't. So now I've picked up food again-- my old friend to numb the pain and distract me from all that must be done. I really don't want to do this again. I lost 50 lbs in the past year by taking...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

hey all its been a while since i wrote here but i remember at a better time in my life i used to always come here and it helped so much. you all really wernt lying when you said if you stop working the program your misery will be refunded. anyways so thats where im at now. not with an a anymore but with someone ju...

needhelpnow · needhelpnow

MY "FIANCE" THAT I HAVE BEEN WITH FOR 6 YEARS AND ALSO HAVE 2 DAUGHTERS (3 1/2 AND 8 MONTHS) WITH HAS BEEN STRUGGLING WITH A ALCOHOL AND DRUG ADDICTION FOR MOST OF HIS LIFE. I HAVE RECENTLY FOUND OUT THE REALITY OF HIS DRUG ABUSE AND HE KEEPS TELLING ME THAT HE IS GOING TO STOP. I KNOW HE HAS TRIE...

smileycat · smileycat

I have a question on the four step. Question is how do you know that you are doing a moral inventory or just repeating what others have said to you all you live? I am am ACOA, with am A. H.,so i have lived in A all my live and there is time that I do not really know how I feel about things because I have lisen to oth...

LEEA · LEEA

I have come to the realization that this is the best place for me to get honest, and carefully thought out answers to the hard questions. The question I am about to ask isn't about my A, but about my "take charge" attitude. I have always been the family "fixer". They dump their p...

razzberry · razzberry

My son is a recovering addict and alcoholic...age 22. He has been through ip/op treatment, residential treatment, halfway house, meetings after meetings. He shares an apartment with another person who has relapsed and is currently using. Every day with my son is a drama...I really could use so...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

The last two weeks I've been more fatigued than usual (I also have chronic fatigue syndrome). I have been sleeping all through the night, but waking up earlier than usual. Last week I got a cold sore, which is always the first indication I've gotten run down. This morning I got up with a very sore throa...

LEEA · LEEA

I have come to the realization that this is the best place for me to get honest, and carefully thought out answers to the hard questions. The question I am about to ask isn't about my A, but about my "take charge" attitude. I have always been the family "fixer". They dump their p...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

But, I love reading peoples shares. They always give me some insight and something new to ponder. I get to see how to work the steps better and the slogans give me something to think about. I then ponder and use the tools in al-anon. I feel like when I give I always receive something in return. In al-anon an...

ddub · ddub

Step by step, new thoughts take root and somehow, someway, things change slowly with fits and starts..... sort of like magic. I think it's those miracles Jerry keeps reminding us about. Exhausting work but worthy work too. I am now aware of when I get myself spinning in thought and then actions. I h...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi MIP family, I'm home alone this evening and thought I'd come visit the board. I feel like posting, and realize that this is a very strange post for me. Usually I post when I'm in the middle of some crisis. I come seeking help and support, and you all are there for me. THANK YOU. But tonight, I have no crisi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	finally done something positive (Preview) After joining AA last Tuesday, i have also ordered some books about being the adult child of an alcoholic. should come next week. My thoughts have been driving me crazy this last week but I didnt have anybody to listen at the time. I am writing a letter to my alcoholic mother, to make me feel better. Dont s...	bluejack	2	471	Nov 15, 2008 by Jean4444
	Awareness, Acceptance, Action (Preview) I was reading a friend's blog and it made me think of this. I am well aware of who I am when I don't like myself, which is pretty much all the time. My opinions, my stubbornness, my neediness, my self sabotoging behavior, on and on...When I started thinking about it though, I came upon an "aha" m...	seekingserenity	4	3430	Nov 15, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Bad four day (Preview) Hi All will i have had a few bad day here as my A is back to drinking, however I am have some light t the end. Was told yesterday that his counslors are trying to put him in his own place. Bad part it may take four to six week to get him in. I can not wait looking to see how we can get away for him. I have no family up h...	smileycat	1	310	Nov 15, 2008 by Jennifer
	Getting thoughts and actions in sync (Preview) One of my greatest struggles during this recovery process has been the acknowlegement that what I know in my head, and how I react/respond,have not been in sync with each other. I have always been somewhat of a realistic and based my actions on common sense, logic, and "doing the right thing&qu...	Loupiness	3	584	Nov 14, 2008 by Rocky38
	Why? (Preview) Hi MIP family. It's been a tough week. I started out feeling strong. Detached with love from the drama of my AH, managing to care for him in his illness, yet not losing it because he is still drinking. Keeping my sanity and not contributing to a "crazy house". Yet, my serenity took a beating o...	Rocky38	6	637	Nov 14, 2008 by Rocky38
	Ghosts of the past and parental judgement. (Preview) I never realised what the death of a second parent would do to me, and it has caused me to be all over the place. The fact that I had not seen my father for nine years was in itself traumatic and whilst he was alive I had hope, when I heard that he had died I felt utterly hopeless. It also brought up so...	Suzannah	2	469	Nov 14, 2008 by Jen
	I could use some hugs today (Preview) Well, yesterday I finally went to see my primary care physician. Although I had gotten over the sore throat/chills, there were other health issues cropping up. My last MRI revealed that not only do I have bulging disks in the area of the spinal stenosis, but I also have bone spurs in that area, which cre...	Tenderheartsks	15	538	Nov 14, 2008 by Jen
	Let go and let god (Preview) When I let go and let God things are more peaceful and go more smoothly. Lately I've been trying to control other people and today I realize it's made me frustrated and exhausted. I've learned I have no control over other people and trying is a waste of time that I could be using to enjoy my life. I've been t...	christinajeanne	1	891	Nov 14, 2008 by bluejack
	When did I become needy??????UGHHHH (Preview) I have ALWAYS been superindependant, super in control and in need of no one-I kept it that way after my divorce from active A. Now with new ABF I find myself "needing" him and what he has to offer through his serenity and I HATE it. I don't know how to deal with it and it is driving a wedge bet...	shellyj123	7	729	Nov 14, 2008 by kitty
	hi! (Preview) hi everyone....i am new to this, so, i hope this doesn't sound silly. my name is roxanne and i am 28 yrs old. my A is my husband and boy has he put me thru hell the past year or so. i'll start with my husband is more addicted to drugs, mainly meth and cocaine, than anything. but he does like his beer. and no...	roxanne	6	568	Nov 14, 2008 by LEEA
	many layers of giving ourself away (Preview) Over a year ago before I started al anon my emotions were just numb to avoid anymore pain. Early on in the program I started hearing about co dependency which I had just as strong denial for as I did re AH. I have a very judgemental & opininated MIL who was a child psych/school counselor who labeled...	ddub	3	576	Nov 14, 2008 by christinajeanne
	tuesday share hope and joy (Preview) I guess sometimes like today was really frustrating for me. I worked for my aunt and she had an attitude with me all day again today. I have been good about not letting it bother me but had a slip today. I got frustrated and then I got an attitude. I realized it said the serenity prayer and calmed down. Then I...	christinajeanne	3	531	Nov 14, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Scared to confront AH warrant for arrest, what to do? (Preview) A few weeks back my AH threw a huge tantrum and destroyed the better part of our home. The cops came, yadda, yadda and now he has a warrant for his arrest. We have a marriage counseling session tomorrow and I've been thinking about telling him about the warrant for his arrest at the session. I'm terrified...	angelchar375	11	681	Nov 13, 2008 by angelchar375
	AFB is asking for help. (Preview) Here I am again, with things changing all the time. I think I am handling this lastest situation the right way, but could use some input. Background: ABF left about a month ago because I was such a "nag" and because I had pulled away from him physically and emotionally. (he is right, I had...	LEEA	4	546	Nov 13, 2008 by LEEA
	Confused (Preview) Hello everyone, I haven't posted in quite some time. Things are both good and confusing for me right now. I am currently waiting for my phone to ring. The ex ABF called me earlier, I called him back and he was on his way into a meeting, so he said he'd call me back when he gets out. I emailed him bc I want to...	hopeful123	5	453	Nov 13, 2008 by Fifi
	Sharing (Preview) Hi I have had some break thought this. My mother-in-Law had a heart attack on momday. She is going to be ok. My A as for last seen him( at 6:45 this moring)still sober about it is 5:50 P.M. A little worry but trying not to be. But hear is the break throught. We when to see his mother in the hospital last nigh...	smileycat	3	456	Nov 13, 2008 by Rita G
	Forcing solutions? Or protecting oneself....Need advice! (Preview) I have been with SABF for a year now and things for the most part are great.....when they are great they are AWESOME. When we argue it is terrible. I have communication issues and I think he does too to an extent. He has been married before and divorced and was living wiht his ex fiance for 2 1/2 yrs, th...	shellyj123	4	520	Nov 13, 2008 by kitty
	Veterans Day (Preview) ((((((Family))))), To my Alanon Family who are Veterans: HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY! To all who have family & friends who are serving or have served, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you and honor you. My family had many veterans, including my husband, I thank you for all you have done to keep our coun...	Karilynn	3	397	Nov 12, 2008 by ddub
	Pregnant mother with departing AH seeks advice (Preview) so this is the hardest day ever, i am 18 weeks pregnant with a boy, am a proud mother of a 2.5 year old boy, and have been married to their father, a recovering alcoholic for three years (he's been in AA for 7 years.) we have been having major marital difficulties for the last year and a half. it's me with the c...	tintin	6	570	Nov 12, 2008 by debilyn
	Setting Boundaries or Forcing Solutions (Preview) Really struggling today - having a hard time setting and enforcing boundaries and it's got me thinking of taking some sort of action to just get away from the chaos and get what's left of my family put back together. This is fairly long as I need to ramble and get it off my chest, so thanks in advance for be...	blender_girl	8	1449	Nov 12, 2008 by blender_girl
	How do i go about getting a sponsor? (Preview) I have read in various posts that some of you have sponsors. i would be very interested to know how i could get one for myself. By the way, i have had a better day today. Thanks to those who have replied. it might take me a while to get used to this website.	bluejack	4	487	Nov 12, 2008 by Jean4444
	I need to understand. Please help. (Preview) I am in love with a recovering addict...so much so that I consider marriage in the future. She is 5 years sober after her relapse ( 5 years sober before that). Every day I worry she will some day pick up again. She said the last time all it took was one "mistaken drink order" to set her back. At the...	BUCKY	16	584	Nov 12, 2008 by BUCKY
	Is it progress? (Preview) Sometimes I feel like my progress is fake because though I did push him away intially I think he knows if he tried to come back now that I might jump- at least I MIGHT jump- for a while. So I wonder if you could count it as progress when they are choosing not to be with you and you are not sure if you would be with...	Codependent	2	351	Nov 12, 2008 by Mariner
	Help! ASAP! (Preview) Hey Everyone, Not sure if anyone can help me, but I really need info on how to go about an intervention for my A. Please, any info would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!!	NewMom07	8	588	Nov 12, 2008 by NewMom07
	I joined yesterday. (Preview) i am an adult child of an alcoholic, namely my mother. its driving me nuts. i started counselling yesterday but i am not sure if i have connected with the counsellor. there is a lot of deep stuff. who do i turn to? i need to find peace in some form. i am 48 and single and pretty lonely at the moment. i do have so...	bluejack	8	573	Nov 11, 2008 by christinajeanne
	understanding (Preview) I think I am getting this Fourth Step, But want to know why it hurts? I have found another defect of my and it realy hurts. I have come to understand that I do not get told that I am worth it much and can handle not being told. As i know that i am worth it and a lot more. So here is the question why does it hurt to be to...	smileycat	4	476	Nov 11, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Blessings Instead of Heartache (Preview) Once I let go and Let God, my life got so much better. As you know, I left my AH of 8 years marriage, 11+ years of relationship. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I endured mental abuse, some physical abuse, the worst of name calling, threats, family discord between my grown daughter, her husband,...	Becky1	7	556	Nov 11, 2008 by maresie
	poem to celebrate today (Preview) This is not alanon material but I hope it will help someone. I am seeing it as inspiration to celebrate each day. Wage peace with your breath. Breathe in firemen and rubble, breathe out whole buildings and flocks of red wing blackbirds. Breathe in terrorists and breathe out sleeping children and fr...	maresie	4	458	Nov 11, 2008 by Andrea12
	i don't get it..really needing some esh... (Preview) I really hope I can gain some perspective here... As you may know, Ah has been gone from the house 2 wks. We have a 4 yr old son. Ah has been providing before school care to son, but because a recent driving with son incident (official day of our most recent split) Ah, doesn't have any other "visitat...	Rora	4	539	Nov 11, 2008 by maresie
	Jealous Again (Preview) Well, the A got arrested AGAIN. This time for driving on revoked. Granted he is on probation. None of this is my business. However, of course relapsing myself, I make it my business to find out from hims mom what is going on. Find out that a friend of his and his ex ex girlfriend are going to pick him up...	Codependent	4	393	Nov 11, 2008 by Codependent
	Just a share to not let it simmer inside (Preview) Hello everyone, I had to make a decision to tell my AexH that as much as I wanted to stay on friendly terms, allowing him to see Sully and stay in contact with me, it has just not worked out. Last week I had told him the condition the Doc's are believing I have ... it is not a good prognosis in many cases, inclu...	Jennifer	7	497	Nov 11, 2008 by Jennifer
	Just a share... (Preview) I've been separated from my Ah for 2 1/2 weeks. I am sad. I am very very sad. Sometimes I feel liberated about moving forward. Other times I want to run back to the place I was in, no matter how bad it was, just to have that sense of "normalcy" back. Sometimes I think that my relationship with my...	Rora	2	430	Nov 11, 2008 by Becky1
	Just needed to empty my head a little to get some sanity back in... (Preview) Let me first start by saying that I am trying to sort out my feelings about a situation that just occured. Input is appreciated for sure!! My AH is really having a hard time, more than usual, matabolising his alcohol. It may be because of all of the meds he is on for his heart and high blood pressure. It does...	wildthang86	3	499	Nov 11, 2008 by RLC
	my side of the street (Preview) so i wrote a post the other day about my relationship with my codependent bf. he is not an alcoholic or addict but is a acoa and definatly codependent. anyways i see alot of my same behaviors in this relationship as i did when i was with my a. should i be treating him in the same manner i would treat an a??? in...	notsonew1111	2	515	Nov 11, 2008 by canadianguy
	My Spooky CAT died! (Preview) I AM SAD TO SAY THAT MY CAT DIED LAST NIGHT. SHE WAS THE LAST OF OUR INSIDE CATS. SHE WAS MY FAVORITE OF ALL MY CATS. I AM VERY SAD TODAY. SHE STRUGGLED ALL LAST NIGHT BUT COULDN'T MAKE IT. SHE HAD SEIZURES & KEPT FALLING. I WITNESSED ALL OF IT, TOO. BY THE WAY, SHE IS THE CAT THAT I HAD TROUBLE WITH BEFOR...	Hoot Nanny	8	489	Nov 11, 2008 by nmike
	Back on Track (Preview) After a minor setback yesterday, when I panicked a wee little tiny bit, I am feeling much better today. For one thing, this sinus infection is getting much better, I went to work today, and no longer feel all weepy and out of sorts. Thanks to everyone for their ESH, it helps more than you can ever know! It i...	Becky1	1	362	Nov 11, 2008 by LEEA
	Please Don't Let Me Mess This Up (Preview) After enduring years and years of abuse, I have now fallen in love HARD with someone new. He is everything I ever wanted in a man. The only thing is we live 30 miles apart, which isn't that far, but he has responsibilities at his home, as he moved back in with his parents after his divorce a year ago, and they...	Becky1	10	623	Nov 11, 2008 by Becky1
	Step 6 (Preview) 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. To me step 6 means that others cannot change me. Others cannot remove my behaviors and problems. Just like I cannot control others behaviors they cannot control mine. I don't have to do anything. I just want to want to change. I am...	christinajeanne	1	1431	Nov 10, 2008 by nmike
	Taking care of myself (Preview) I used and sometimes still am a people pleaser. I am trying to fulfill others needs and many times I forget about myself and taking care of me. I give and give until I'm exhausted and then when no one says thanks I get upset. Sometimes I help people trying to help and people still get mad at me. But, that's li...	christinajeanne	3	478	Nov 10, 2008 by maresie
	nightmares (Preview) Sometimes I really need to get these out as they tear me up! My life is good, roof no longer leaks, got it so the cats are in by invitation only,got to see my son sunday and get hugged! (o: But my night,even though I was in a very soft feather bed,clean sheets and clean dogs and cats....was tormented by night...	debilyn	7	662	Nov 10, 2008 by christinajeanne
	working on detachment and rage (Preview) just starting this topic to hear how others detach and how they deal with anger or rage. please share	notsonew1111	3	611	Nov 10, 2008 by Peggy7
	setrting boundries?? (Preview) Hi when you set boundries you set them so you or noone goes to far, I understand this. how do you start to set them and know when others have gone over them? I know i need to set boundries and i know how to set so. I am haveing troble in this areas as my A has some mental problems. this mental problems are givin...	smileycat	2	448	Nov 10, 2008 by abbyal
	Twas the night before discharge... (Preview) 'Twas the night before discharge I sat in my house Counting all the ways he behaved like a louse I open my "toolbox" examining each one then replace them in order to get the task done This will not come as an easy feat I am putting a loved one out on the street I am a woman who thru experience has gro...	liljeannie	5	706	Nov 10, 2008 by Jerry F
	feeling manipulated and confused (Preview) I am shakey and upset. I had re-connected with my ex BF A....lots of "healing" talking/sharing/etc . We hadn't been in touch since he moved out sober a year and a half ago. He is a handyman and after offering many times with me hesitating, I said yes, you can do work on my house. I need it done - I t...	Fifi	6	680	Nov 10, 2008 by Fifi
	Lightbulb moment -- duh!! (Preview) I finally get the concept of taking the focus off the A and placing it on myself. For some reason, I always thought of it as the focus being on him during our interactions. Then I realized I have a strong tendency to think about him, almost to the point of obsession. We're separated but I began to realize...	curlee-girl	3	537	Nov 9, 2008 by christinajeanne
	This week's miracles (Preview) Hello Everyone, I want to share and give thanks for my little miracles this week. I awoke in alot of pain the other day. Bypassing my urge to just let it go I called my doctor and she was oncall with no appointments, was fit in ... full testing and MRI with 15 minutes notice it normally takes weeks ... perha...	Jennifer	4	485	Nov 9, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Too much religion!!! (Preview) I am writing this post because my husband (who is an alcoholic) is also very Catholic. I am also a religious person but not where I feel that I have to go to church every week. I have God in my life everyday in my own way. But anyway my H becomes very upset when I do not choose to go to church and also guilts an...	slowlearner	5	554	Nov 9, 2008 by abbyal
	Learning to Relax (Preview) Happy Friday ((((Family)))), At my ftf meeting last night the topic was "Taking Care of Ourselves". One of the directions this topic started carrying those sharing was taking care of ourselves by learning to relax. In the 4 and a half years I have been coming to al-anon, I have gone throu...	david62	10	526	Nov 9, 2008 by norwood
	In a panic! (Preview) I dont know where to begin. I spoke with abf's mom earlier today as I still had not heard from him and was beginning to have some uneasy feelings. She told me that he would be coming home on Monday. I was shocked, he has only been in his program for 3 weeks yet it is a 6 week program. I guess his insurance ra...	liljeannie	16	662	Nov 9, 2008 by Christy
	losing it (Preview) Hi everyone- its been a tough week. It feels that each day brings the inevitability of divorce closer. I want it but I don't. So now I've picked up food again-- my old friend to numb the pain and distract me from all that must be done. I really don't want to do this again. I lost 50 lbs in the past year by taking...	gknee	4	555	Nov 9, 2008 by debilyn
	back and dealing with another coda (Preview) hey all its been a while since i wrote here but i remember at a better time in my life i used to always come here and it helped so much. you all really wernt lying when you said if you stop working the program your misery will be refunded. anyways so thats where im at now. not with an a anymore but with someone ju...	notsonew1111	2	330	Nov 9, 2008 by Jean4444
	DOING THE RIGHT THING, OR THE WRONG THING? (Preview) MY "FIANCE" THAT I HAVE BEEN WITH FOR 6 YEARS AND ALSO HAVE 2 DAUGHTERS (3 1/2 AND 8 MONTHS) WITH HAS BEEN STRUGGLING WITH A ALCOHOL AND DRUG ADDICTION FOR MOST OF HIS LIFE. I HAVE RECENTLY FOUND OUT THE REALITY OF HIS DRUG ABUSE AND HE KEEPS TELLING ME THAT HE IS GOING TO STOP. I KNOW HE HAS TRIE...	needhelpnow	5	505	Nov 9, 2008 by LEEA
	Moral Inventory (Preview) I have a question on the four step. Question is how do you know that you are doing a moral inventory or just repeating what others have said to you all you live? I am am ACOA, with am A. H.,so i have lived in A all my live and there is time that I do not really know how I feel about things because I have lisen to oth...	smileycat	9	2943	Nov 9, 2008 by smileycat
	could use some advise.... Am I controlling, or being controlled (Preview) I have come to the realization that this is the best place for me to get honest, and carefully thought out answers to the hard questions. The question I am about to ask isn't about my A, but about my "take charge" attitude. I have always been the family "fixer". They dump their p...	LEEA	2	597	Nov 8, 2008 by Jean4444
	Need a shoulder to cry on, and ear to listen, and heart to care (Preview) My son is a recovering addict and alcoholic...age 22. He has been through ip/op treatment, residential treatment, halfway house, meetings after meetings. He shares an apartment with another person who has relapsed and is currently using. Every day with my son is a drama...I really could use so...	razzberry	4	3511	Nov 8, 2008 by Jerry F
	I hate being physically ill. (Preview) The last two weeks I've been more fatigued than usual (I also have chronic fatigue syndrome). I have been sleeping all through the night, but waking up earlier than usual. Last week I got a cold sore, which is always the first indication I've gotten run down. This morning I got up with a very sore throa...	Tenderheartsks	5	344	Nov 8, 2008 by Diva
	could use some advise.... Am I controlling, or being controlled (Preview) I have come to the realization that this is the best place for me to get honest, and carefully thought out answers to the hard questions. The question I am about to ask isn't about my A, but about my "take charge" attitude. I have always been the family "fixer". They dump their p...	LEEA	5	497	Nov 8, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	giving and reciving (Preview) But, I love reading peoples shares. They always give me some insight and something new to ponder. I get to see how to work the steps better and the slogans give me something to think about. I then ponder and use the tools in al-anon. I feel like when I give I always receive something in return. In al-anon an...	christinajeanne	2	399	Nov 8, 2008 by Rocky38
	finding a calm place to wait and see what happens (Preview) Step by step, new thoughts take root and somehow, someway, things change slowly with fits and starts..... sort of like magic. I think it's those miracles Jerry keeps reminding us about. Exhausting work but worthy work too. I am now aware of when I get myself spinning in thought and then actions. I h...	ddub	2	433	Nov 8, 2008 by LEEA
	An unusual post - No crises today! (Preview) Hi MIP family, I'm home alone this evening and thought I'd come visit the board. I feel like posting, and realize that this is a very strange post for me. Usually I post when I'm in the middle of some crisis. I come seeking help and support, and you all are there for me. THANK YOU. But tonight, I have no crisi...	Rocky38	2	417	Nov 8, 2008 by Mariner
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.