Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

bluerose · bluerose

I just had a visit from my ex AH (3 years ex)! I posted a week ago about his sudden change in attitude. Tonight he came to my home to explain...how he had a bad childhood, parents were alcoholics, he saw violence between his parents, he was abused, he started drinking very young, he has had memories retur...

brownmf · brownmf

I'm new to Al-anon. I started going at the end of last month because I found out my qualifier had started using again. I knew when I began dating him that he had a past of addiction, but I foolishly beleived he was through that and back on the straight & narrow. Silly me. He told me at the end of last month...

slowlearner · slowlearner

An amazing thing happened to me today but also made me feel sad - but then again not alone. I brought my two elderly aunts and my mother to a baby shower today. It was a two hour drive so many things were discussed. They got into the discussion of how they grew up with an alcoholic father (my grandfather)...

Rora · Rora

My aH and I have been separated for 4 wks now. He's decided to stay with his older daughter. He says that he hopes for a future for us. That he would like to be together. But not at this time. That we both need time to work on ourselves. I felt that way too, but now that he's come to this way of thinking and he'...

intothewoods · intothewoods

*** WARNING: There are some very ugly things in this post. I was in a very bad place when I wrote this and I'm not trying to bring anbody down, but this is only place I felt I could go. If you don't want to deal with negativity, please don't read any further.*** I know I shouldn't focus on my alcoholic and live...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I've been doing the reading and practicing the steps but still need to go to a meeting. I've been trying to take one step at a time and small steps too. But I find myself frozen in indecision. I'm a person who doesn't like change - I like my comfort zones and trying to move out of these zones is uncomfort...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Today, God, help me let go of my resistance. Help me know the pain of a circumstance will stop hurting so much if I accept it. I have been thinking about resistance quite a bit lately. It was a massive hallmark of me prior to al-anon. What is resistance for? When did it become my MO? Did I choose this? H...

CJ · CJ

Hi all... Life is good, yet tiring. My son is happy and healthy, poops a lot, screams a lot, etc etc... the usual baby appetizers. My partner and I are doing very well, both of us working our program and doing the best we can. I ran a meeting yesterday, and it felt good to understand that life is what I make...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I want to give thanks today for the wonderful support and all the encouragement that I have received from this truly amazing and loving family. NEVER have I been embraced and encouraged and loved in the way this family has demonstrated to me that love can be tasted and experienced, given and shared. I...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Big realization this morning upon waking up- if it isn't "here" in this moment, I must not need it! HA! HP knows me waaay better than I know myself. HP gives me exactly what I need at the moment I need it. I am feeling a huge relief as this surrendering flows through me! YAY! All I need to do...

lmw · lmw

When I drove my A to detox in April, I told him it was the last time. I've done it over and over and over again. I made it clear it was the last time. I can't help him any more. About an hour ago, I got an email he sent this afternoon. He's been drinking since Wednesday, and got "discharged" f...

Ash · Ash

I started reading the Al anon literature and i find myself relieved and saddened that i relate almost completely. i think i learned this behavior from my mother. i read through the first part of step three. while i do know that there is a loving and caring master of the universe my confusion lies here:...

Codependent · Codependent

Went to family birthday dinner and A was there suprisingly. My son was happy to see him, but I was painfully aware that he still makes me nervous. He still makes me rethink everything I said to him and if I sounded insecure or confrontational...wondering what he thought of me. He even sent me a text me...

photogirl1989 · photogirl1989

I know I just posted, but, I've had an idea that my mother hasn't been staying sober, and after during some snooping, I found 2 almost-empty bottles of wine hidden in the dining room. I'm furious, hurt, depressed, heartbroken. I've done confrontations in the past. I've yelled. I've cried. I've throw...

AlvinG · AlvinG

Hell o everyone, All this is very new to me and I mean Al-anon. My son has been dabling in drugs & alcohol since he was a teenager. I believe he woke up and realized that drugs were killing him but he has not stopped with the alochol. He does not believe that alcohol is bad for him and that it is also ruinin...

photogirl1989 · photogirl1989

I have never been to an AlAnon meeting and I know I should but I go to school fulltime and am expecting my first child this december so I haven't been able to find the time. I am 19, so I still live at home. My mother is an alcoholic. I really have no idea how long its been a problem, but its been brought into the s...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi I am starting to take care of me. After my last post I got my AH to talk with his mother. I had to go to with hiom to talk to her to see of he could stay with her for the next two to four week until he can get in to this houseing program that he has been looking on too. Not a good sence but I did not get up set and let h...

soconfused · soconfused

I ended it again. It seems as if I am breaking up w/ A and then going back more than I wash my hair these days. I know it's the right thing to walk away, but I love him. Sad excuse when A has destroyed most of my esteem, finances and sanity...but I do. I wonder why, why do I love him? I really cannot answer that hon...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

In my last post, someone responded with the quote:ACCEPTANCE IS the answer to ALL my problems today. This speaks VOLUMES to me today. My ex ABF has taken it upon himself to try to put me over the edge this week, either purposefully or not. I have no idea. He contacted me Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. ...

maresie · maresie

For those of us in the US the holdiays are approaching. That can be a very slippery time for alcoholics and those of us who are al anons. I am having to constantly monitor myself to reinforce the limits and boundaries I've created over the last year. Every Thanksgiving with the A I lost it. I regularly fe...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I had a good trip to Washington. When I came home I told my daughter that she could choose a nice group home that I found for her or boot camp. The group home is voluntary - they have lots of structure and rules but it's not a lock down type facility. They don't do punishment or counseling. They do rationa...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi I have just been told that my A has been playing house for the last 21 years. He said he is trying to get out but will not go stay with his mother, as i have no family here and of me to leave i would have to move around faimly i would have to go six state from here. i am looking in to seeing of there is a way to get he...

weggie · weggie

I feel very strong today and hope the feeling stays with me. I went to my f to f meeting last night and think I have a sponser. I will call her tomorrow. I know I can't do anything to help my A, but he is so depressed. He comes home from work in the am and goes right to bed to lie down. I don't see him until th...

Soobie · Soobie

In reading postings yesterday, I discovered that YES! I most certainly have an addiction...my AH and all of his doings. I am like an obsessed fan...screaming for him to notice me, to "need" me like I think I need him. The reality is that I continue to push him away and I continue to delve f...

Suzannah · Suzannah

This morning I had one of those AHA! moments. I AM A NEEDY PERSON, and I let myself be hurt by others because I place my whole happiness and self worth and joy and life in them. I LIVE FOR MY CHILDREN and their family, and so when my daughter does what she does and cuts me off I die a little, and when I don't get t...

debilyn · debilyn

Been thinking of you all day. Are you ready to share? I care about ya. love,deb

wildthang86 · wildthang86

I have been having a pretty tough time lately. Not bad, just kind of rough on my senses and trying to figure out how to move forward. I have been keeping my mouth shut to my AH, thinking that anything I wanted to say would come out judgmental. I really want to try and stay away from that. But I feel like if I don...

desperate for help · desperate for help

I have noticed lately that when AH drink, which is every night, his voice gets very hoarse. I also notice that he starts to cough uncontrollably. Is it because of the drinking? Thanks!

hopeful123 · hopeful123

Hello MIP, This is a bit of an update, but also a note to say that I think I am learning! My ex ABF wanted to meet for dinner tonight, which we've done a few times since we've been broken up. It's always a quick dinner--pizza--and I have to admit, I have gotten emotional each time we met up. Yesterday he aske...

weggie · weggie

Hello to all and thanks for all your advice. I started back to my face to face meeting last night. It was great and I think I found a sponser. I am going to call her tonight. To make a long story short, my A and I went to the Bank yesterday and he signed over to me power of attorney on all accounts. Not su...

Rita G · Rita G

News Alert!!! CNN, FoxNews & The Today Show reports a story of a Strange Woman in Southwest Louisiana attempting to have a conversation with a Pine Tree this morning. Sources state that this Crazy Blonde Woman attempted to do the Next Right Thing and share information with a Quacking Pine Tree. A...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hey everybody, I'm feeling a little down today. Tomorrow I go in to the Doc again, they should have results from the MRI and some of the bloodwork, some was sent to the Mayo clinic ... not sure that will be back yet. I'm worried they found an answer and I am worried they have not. I've been doing alot of think...

queenie105 · queenie105

I haven't posted lately, but I'm here everyday. Some of you may know my story, but in a short recap: I'm married 20 years to a wonderful, sweet, kind, loving man who also is, I believe, and end-stage alcoholic. He was sober for over 15 years without a single relapse, relapsed about 5 years ago, and has...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

It had been ages since I spoke with my ex AAAAAA boyfriend. Then out of the blue he calls me over the weekend. He left a drunken message on my cell phone at 4am Saturday morning. Sounded bombed out of his mind with a woman in the background that sounded just as bombed as him. It was a really nasty message b...

Rora · Rora

I had been doing things for myself, keeping myself busy, in the absense of my aH, in response to our separation 3 1/2 weeks ago. I wondered how to differentiate between taking care of myself, and distraction. I'm still not totally certain on that. For me, I've noticed that it is all in perspective. I c...

mslouise · mslouise

I haven't posted in a while. For those who read my past posts, I had the, "at the time sober" Abf who choose to leave 2 months ago as quick as the hunting season came. I have been doing ok since. Have been going to meetings and even started going out to get more social and meet people. I ha...

c1grace · c1grace

My AH has started treatment, and I just keep thinking how nice it would be to fast forward to the end of the program. However some wonderful people have reminded me that we hope for a long, slow recovery. He is really "working" his program, but I am sooooo afraid to be hopeful. This time it t...

puzzle · puzzle

Hello all, I have been reading w/out posting and it helps so much. You guys are awsome.......such an amazing support network. ahhh, where to begin.... again...... I guess I can start with saying that my A is gone in all ways that an A leaves us without dying. In my last post I said he really was not there an...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi Having an ok day. Have been able to tell My AH that it is not he that i do not like but the things that he is doing and then leave it at that. Thanks just wanted to let you all know that.

SammyQ · SammyQ

Hi everyone, Why do ACOA 'characteristics' get worse? Does it snowball as we get older or is it just because lately the (recovering?)alcoholic parent in my life is just being beyond reason? That woman could make a funeral all about her.

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

I have felt like I had an empty space or a void in my life for years. I could never place where it came from and still can't to tell you the truth. I tried to fill it up with all sorts of things. Pleasing people and getting approval I thought if others where happy then I could be too but it only exhausted me and th...

Soobie · Soobie

I am new here, but have been reading your entries for several weeks. It still amazes me that there are so many out there struggling just like me. I have been to a few Al-ANon meetings, but life is so busy, that it is hard to find the time to go! I have been married to my AC/AH for 11 years. He went through...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I've been reading the forum and absorbing pointers on how to deal with my alcoholic's behavior and my mine. I've been practicing detachment and getting projects done around the house. I hired my soon to be son-in-law to work on some projects around the house and barn that really needed to be. Such a...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I am generally an awesome sleeper. I love to sleep. I love to eat well, get plenty of rest, work hard and exercise. I love living a simple and balanced life. I am recently divorced, recently relocated and recently started a new job. I attend my weekly al-anon meeting and like my home group very much...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I've hit a brick wall and cannot seem to get over it, through it, round it or under it. The anxiety is choking me and I still cannot eat or drink anything without feeling I am going to choke. My arms and legs hurt so much and I am not sleeping properly. I try to make myself do something every day, but it all see...

nmike · nmike

My HP works in strange, helpful ways. I saw my AHsober Fri night. We went to dinner and then went dancing. I became jealous of his life without me and treated him poorly. The next day I went to an Alanon meeting and opened the book to Nov. 15. Bitterness towards the A. Yes, my attitude towards my A is often ho...

artygirl · artygirl

Hello MIP family I haven't posted here in a very long time. I was just thinking maybe someone here might have some experience with this situation. This morning, my A ex-husband called my sister out of the blue. We haven't seen or heard from him in nearly 2 years. He had found an instruction book for our s...

blender_girl · blender_girl

"Dear _____, I'm writing this letter to you because I don't yet have the courage to speak to you about this face to face. Most of the time, I don't feel safe expressing my feelings to you as you usually find a way to take what I say and mold it into a very sharp object to stab me with repeatedly later on....

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I really needed to share with you about this, this morning. YES! A part of "us" must die (or it feels that way). I really believe this is true but although its incredibly uncomfortable and feels painful I also believe its absolutely necessary and a good sign, ultimately. What had died? F...

weggie · weggie

I am wore out just thinking of what is going to happen next. Today I found out that my A took a couple of checks from our Retirement account and cashed them. Six months ago we went to our Lawyers and he signed over a power of attorney to me on all accounts but he signs my name of checks and all is good. ...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi all I have just got thourght reading "The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage" understand and can see some things that is helpful. However, when it was talking about the way the A chose his or she partner i did not really see my marriage in it. He was quiet and I was shy and in the book it one is...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

It has been three months since my ex ABF left our home. I have seen him about 4 times since then, for only about an hour or so, and we've only spoken about 8 times in our time apart. My last conversation with him last week led me to believe that he is really struggling but that he is finally making some chang...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Wow! Is how I have to start this post. Last night my brother-in-law was in a bad car accident, and he had been drinking. He rolled the truck 4 times and was thrown to the passenger side of the vehicle. When the police got there they didn't know if he was the driver or if somebody else had been there. They had j...

hurtnfedup · hurtnfedup

I just joined this board last week, feeling like i had no one to turn to. I have been coming on daily and reading everyone's posts- they keep me going and i see more and more i'm not alone. Thank you sooo much everyone for sharing. I did get a chance to go to one meeting so far and hope to get to more soon! I had ju...

New member needs advice · hibiscusrose

I am married to a man who was on the wagon for 25 years, but due to retirement started drinking again. He is 69 and although been to 3 AA meetings, he is still drinking steadily, and I do not believe he is serious about stopping, or has not the willpower. We have been married six years. He denies that he i...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Thank you for my beautiful day. Thank you for the energy and health today to put my painting room together. Thank you for sending my brother and nephew and one of my oldest friends to visit me. Thank you for helping me to a safe place where I can keep my prescription in my own medicine cabinet. Thank you for...

debilyn · debilyn

Vere r u dahling??? did you run off with that neighbor? hugs,debilyn -- Edited by debilyn at 22:52, 2008-11-17

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

The other night I was saying the serenity prayer out loud and reading the steps. I got to step 7 and I was thinking about how I really do want my HP to remove my shortcomings. I've been so frustrated and impatient lately and I don't want a bad attitude anymore. So I humbly prayed and asked HP to remove these d...

NancyfromNC · NancyfromNC

My AH has started to sneak alcohol again. My whole family sees it but his family is oblivious to it. There are a lot of medical crises going on on his side and they just don't see it. I cannot tell on him because he will get in trouble with his monitoring program and be kicked out. He has spent the last 3 1/2 y...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi all I am haveing a bad week as early said we are back in active drinking. He had a meeting with his counsler about 20 minutes ago and them make a dicede for the hloe family and them wanted to know i feeling on it in a very public place I do not get taking in a room and ask I get ask in the front office how I feel a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Shaking my head..... (Preview) I just had a visit from my ex AH (3 years ex)! I posted a week ago about his sudden change in attitude. Tonight he came to my home to explain...how he had a bad childhood, parents were alcoholics, he saw violence between his parents, he was abused, he started drinking very young, he has had memories retur...	bluerose	6	465	Nov 23, 2008 by Diva
	ABF (Preview) I'm new to Al-anon. I started going at the end of last month because I found out my qualifier had started using again. I knew when I began dating him that he had a past of addiction, but I foolishly beleived he was through that and back on the straight & narrow. Silly me. He told me at the end of last month...	brownmf	2	568	Nov 23, 2008 by Jennifer
	An amazing thing happened today...... (Preview) An amazing thing happened to me today but also made me feel sad - but then again not alone. I brought my two elderly aunts and my mother to a baby shower today. It was a two hour drive so many things were discussed. They got into the discussion of how they grew up with an alcoholic father (my grandfather)...	slowlearner	3	503	Nov 23, 2008 by Jennifer
	Floundering? Me toooo...ugh (Preview) My aH and I have been separated for 4 wks now. He's decided to stay with his older daughter. He says that he hopes for a future for us. That he would like to be together. But not at this time. That we both need time to work on ourselves. I felt that way too, but now that he's come to this way of thinking and he'...	Rora	4	501	Nov 23, 2008 by Jerry F
	A confession in Anger and Sadness. (Preview) * WARNING: There are some very ugly things in this post. I was in a very bad place when I wrote this and I'm not trying to bring anbody down, but this is only place I felt I could go. If you don't want to deal with negativity, please don't read any further.* I know I shouldn't focus on my alcoholic and live...	intothewoods	9	523	Nov 22, 2008 by intothewoods
	Floundering and scared (Preview) I've been doing the reading and practicing the steps but still need to go to a meeting. I've been trying to take one step at a time and small steps too. But I find myself frozen in indecision. I'm a person who doesn't like change - I like my comfort zones and trying to move out of these zones is uncomfort...	slowlearner	5	402	Nov 22, 2008 by slowlearner
	one small prayer (Preview) Today, God, help me let go of my resistance. Help me know the pain of a circumstance will stop hurting so much if I accept it. I have been thinking about resistance quite a bit lately. It was a massive hallmark of me prior to al-anon. What is resistance for? When did it become my MO? Did I choose this? H...	Jean4444	3	522	Nov 22, 2008 by nmike
	working it cuz i am, and my family is, worth it (Preview) Hi all... Life is good, yet tiring. My son is happy and healthy, poops a lot, screams a lot, etc etc... the usual baby appetizers. My partner and I are doing very well, both of us working our program and doing the best we can. I ran a meeting yesterday, and it felt good to understand that life is what I make...	CJ	3	383	Nov 22, 2008 by nmike
	Embraced by humility (Preview) I want to give thanks today for the wonderful support and all the encouragement that I have received from this truly amazing and loving family. NEVER have I been embraced and encouraged and loved in the way this family has demonstrated to me that love can be tasted and experienced, given and shared. I...	Suzannah	1	380	Nov 22, 2008 by ddub
	If I ain't got it, I must not NEED it! (Preview) Big realization this morning upon waking up- if it isn't "here" in this moment, I must not need it! HA! HP knows me waaay better than I know myself. HP gives me exactly what I need at the moment I need it. I am feeling a huge relief as this surrendering flows through me! YAY! All I need to do...	Jean4444	5	387	Nov 22, 2008 by ddub
	The Merry Go Round Starts Again - I'm not getting on! (Preview) When I drove my A to detox in April, I told him it was the last time. I've done it over and over and over again. I made it clear it was the last time. I can't help him any more. About an hour ago, I got an email he sent this afternoon. He's been drinking since Wednesday, and got "discharged" f...	lmw	4	405	Nov 22, 2008 by maresie
	Clarify step 3 please (Preview) I started reading the Al anon literature and i find myself relieved and saddened that i relate almost completely. i think i learned this behavior from my mother. i read through the first part of step three. while i do know that there is a loving and caring master of the universe my confusion lies here:...	Ash	3	679	Nov 22, 2008 by maresie
	Birthday dinner (Preview) Went to family birthday dinner and A was there suprisingly. My son was happy to see him, but I was painfully aware that he still makes me nervous. He still makes me rethink everything I said to him and if I sounded insecure or confrontational...wondering what he thought of me. He even sent me a text me...	Codependent	3	413	Nov 22, 2008 by maresie
	How to confront an A after finding a bottle? (Preview) I know I just posted, but, I've had an idea that my mother hasn't been staying sober, and after during some snooping, I found 2 almost-empty bottles of wine hidden in the dining room. I'm furious, hurt, depressed, heartbroken. I've done confrontations in the past. I've yelled. I've cried. I've throw...	photogirl1989	3	428	Nov 22, 2008 by maresie
	Help with my 26 year old alcoholic son (Preview) Hell o everyone, All this is very new to me and I mean Al-anon. My son has been dabling in drugs & alcohol since he was a teenager. I believe he woke up and realized that drugs were killing him but he has not stopped with the alochol. He does not believe that alcohol is bad for him and that it is also ruinin...	AlvinG	7	2862	Nov 22, 2008 by Peggy7
	I'm new here. Please help me. (Preview) I have never been to an AlAnon meeting and I know I should but I go to school fulltime and am expecting my first child this december so I haven't been able to find the time. I am 19, so I still live at home. My mother is an alcoholic. I really have no idea how long its been a problem, but its been brought into the s...	photogirl1989	4	429	Nov 22, 2008 by afglin
	starting to take care of me (Preview) Hi I am starting to take care of me. After my last post I got my AH to talk with his mother. I had to go to with hiom to talk to her to see of he could stay with her for the next two to four week until he can get in to this houseing program that he has been looking on too. Not a good sence but I did not get up set and let h...	smileycat	4	541	Nov 21, 2008 by Jean4444
	why can I not let go? (Preview) I ended it again. It seems as if I am breaking up w/ A and then going back more than I wash my hair these days. I know it's the right thing to walk away, but I love him. Sad excuse when A has destroyed most of my esteem, finances and sanity...but I do. I wonder why, why do I love him? I really cannot answer that hon...	soconfused	6	668	Nov 21, 2008 by nmike
	ACCEPTANCE IS the answer to ALL my problems today (Preview) In my last post, someone responded with the quote:ACCEPTANCE IS the answer to ALL my problems today. This speaks VOLUMES to me today. My ex ABF has taken it upon himself to try to put me over the edge this week, either purposefully or not. I have no idea. He contacted me Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. ...	hopeful123	3	3940	Nov 21, 2008 by maresie
	the holidays are upon us again (Preview) For those of us in the US the holdiays are approaching. That can be a very slippery time for alcoholics and those of us who are al anons. I am having to constantly monitor myself to reinforce the limits and boundaries I've created over the last year. Every Thanksgiving with the A I lost it. I regularly fe...	maresie	3	429	Nov 21, 2008 by Loupiness
	Follow up (Preview) I had a good trip to Washington. When I came home I told my daughter that she could choose a nice group home that I found for her or boot camp. The group home is voluntary - they have lots of structure and rules but it's not a lock down type facility. They don't do punishment or counseling. They do rationa...	carolinagirl	1	415	Nov 21, 2008 by maresie
	mads as a wet hen (Preview) Hi I have just been told that my A has been playing house for the last 21 years. He said he is trying to get out but will not go stay with his mother, as i have no family here and of me to leave i would have to move around faimly i would have to go six state from here. i am looking in to seeing of there is a way to get he...	smileycat	1	315	Nov 21, 2008 by LEEA
	Help (Preview) I feel very strong today and hope the feeling stays with me. I went to my f to f meeting last night and think I have a sponser. I will call her tomorrow. I know I can't do anything to help my A, but he is so depressed. He comes home from work in the am and goes right to bed to lie down. I don't see him until th...	weggie	2	301	Nov 21, 2008 by LEEA
	Murky today (Preview) In reading postings yesterday, I discovered that YES! I most certainly have an addiction...my AH and all of his doings. I am like an obsessed fan...screaming for him to notice me, to "need" me like I think I need him. The reality is that I continue to push him away and I continue to delve f...	Soobie	3	338	Nov 21, 2008 by Rora
	In the SPOTLIGHT and facing reality (Preview) This morning I had one of those AHA! moments. I AM A NEEDY PERSON, and I let myself be hurt by others because I place my whole happiness and self worth and joy and life in them. I LIVE FOR MY CHILDREN and their family, and so when my daughter does what she does and cuts me off I die a little, and when I don't get t...	Suzannah	5	413	Nov 21, 2008 by Christy
	jennifer (Preview) Been thinking of you all day. Are you ready to share? I care about ya. love,deb	debilyn	1	417	Nov 20, 2008 by Jennifer
	A llittle confused (Preview) I have been having a pretty tough time lately. Not bad, just kind of rough on my senses and trying to figure out how to move forward. I have been keeping my mouth shut to my AH, thinking that anything I wanted to say would come out judgmental. I really want to try and stay away from that. But I feel like if I don...	wildthang86	3	404	Nov 20, 2008 by c1grace
	Why does his voice change? (Preview) I have noticed lately that when AH drink, which is every night, his voice gets very hoarse. I also notice that he starts to cough uncontrollably. Is it because of the drinking? Thanks!	desperate for help	5	532	Nov 20, 2008 by desperate for help
	Changing (Preview) Hello MIP, This is a bit of an update, but also a note to say that I think I am learning! My ex ABF wanted to meet for dinner tonight, which we've done a few times since we've been broken up. It's always a quick dinner--pizza--and I have to admit, I have gotten emotional each time we met up. Yesterday he aske...	hopeful123	5	524	Nov 20, 2008 by hopeful123
	Update on Weggie (Preview) Hello to all and thanks for all your advice. I started back to my face to face meeting last night. It was great and I think I found a sponser. I am going to call her tonight. To make a long story short, my A and I went to the Bank yesterday and he signed over to me power of attorney on all accounts. Not su...	weggie	2	787	Nov 20, 2008 by weggie
	Louisiana News Alert (Preview) News Alert!!! CNN, FoxNews & The Today Show reports a story of a Strange Woman in Southwest Louisiana attempting to have a conversation with a Pine Tree this morning. Sources state that this Crazy Blonde Woman attempted to do the Next Right Thing and share information with a Quacking Pine Tree. A...	Rita G	2	1370	Nov 20, 2008 by Jennifer
	Anxiety today (Preview) Hey everybody, I'm feeling a little down today. Tomorrow I go in to the Doc again, they should have results from the MRI and some of the bloodwork, some was sent to the Mayo clinic ... not sure that will be back yet. I'm worried they found an answer and I am worried they have not. I've been doing alot of think...	Jennifer	4	479	Nov 20, 2008 by Jennifer
	Decided to Stay W/AH, But Need ESH To Get Thru It (Preview) I haven't posted lately, but I'm here everyday. Some of you may know my story, but in a short recap: I'm married 20 years to a wonderful, sweet, kind, loving man who also is, I believe, and end-stage alcoholic. He was sober for over 15 years without a single relapse, relapsed about 5 years ago, and has...	queenie105	6	514	Nov 20, 2008 by queenie105
	What did I get myself into? (Preview) It had been ages since I spoke with my ex AAAAAA boyfriend. Then out of the blue he calls me over the weekend. He left a drunken message on my cell phone at 4am Saturday morning. Sounded bombed out of his mind with a woman in the background that sounded just as bombed as him. It was a really nasty message b...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	5	455	Nov 20, 2008 by maresie
	the perspective of "taking good care" of myself... (Preview) I had been doing things for myself, keeping myself busy, in the absense of my aH, in response to our separation 3 1/2 weeks ago. I wondered how to differentiate between taking care of myself, and distraction. I'm still not totally certain on that. For me, I've noticed that it is all in perspective. I c...	Rora	9	1404	Nov 20, 2008 by maresie
	first the A, now the family - sorry so long (Preview) I haven't posted in a while. For those who read my past posts, I had the, "at the time sober" Abf who choose to leave 2 months ago as quick as the hunting season came. I have been doing ok since. Have been going to meetings and even started going out to get more social and meet people. I ha...	mslouise	3	480	Nov 20, 2008 by maresie
	swim through it, not over it (Preview) My AH has started treatment, and I just keep thinking how nice it would be to fast forward to the end of the program. However some wonderful people have reminded me that we hope for a long, slow recovery. He is really "working" his program, but I am sooooo afraid to be hopeful. This time it t...	c1grace	3	572	Nov 20, 2008 by maresie
	It's time......and I need some advice after I blab some....alot (Preview) Hello all, I have been reading w/out posting and it helps so much. You guys are awsome.......such an amazing support network. ahhh, where to begin.... again...... I guess I can start with saying that my A is gone in all ways that an A leaves us without dying. In my last post I said he really was not there an...	puzzle	6	422	Nov 20, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	ok and learning (Preview) Hi Having an ok day. Have been able to tell My AH that it is not he that i do not like but the things that he is doing and then leave it at that. Thanks just wanted to let you all know that.	smileycat	2	390	Nov 20, 2008 by Jerry F
	ACOA characteristics getting worse? (Preview) Hi everyone, Why do ACOA 'characteristics' get worse? Does it snowball as we get older or is it just because lately the (recovering?)alcoholic parent in my life is just being beyond reason? That woman could make a funeral all about her.	SammyQ	5	4038	Nov 20, 2008 by Jerry F
	Emptiness (Preview) I have felt like I had an empty space or a void in my life for years. I could never place where it came from and still can't to tell you the truth. I tried to fill it up with all sorts of things. Pleasing people and getting approval I thought if others where happy then I could be too but it only exhausted me and th...	christinajeanne	1	370	Nov 19, 2008 by Jean4444
	Trying to keep afloat! (Preview) I am new here, but have been reading your entries for several weeks. It still amazes me that there are so many out there struggling just like me. I have been to a few Al-ANon meetings, but life is so busy, that it is hard to find the time to go! I have been married to my AC/AH for 11 years. He went through...	Soobie	5	431	Nov 19, 2008 by Soobie
	It works!!! But then there are setbacks. (Preview) I've been reading the forum and absorbing pointers on how to deal with my alcoholic's behavior and my mine. I've been practicing detachment and getting projects done around the house. I hired my soon to be son-in-law to work on some projects around the house and barn that really needed to be. Such a...	slowlearner	4	545	Nov 19, 2008 by slowlearner
	Massive wall of anxiety hits when everything starts turning out great? (Preview) I am generally an awesome sleeper. I love to sleep. I love to eat well, get plenty of rest, work hard and exercise. I love living a simple and balanced life. I am recently divorced, recently relocated and recently started a new job. I attend my weekly al-anon meeting and like my home group very much...	Jean4444	7	481	Nov 19, 2008 by Jean4444
	Hit a brick wall (Preview) I've hit a brick wall and cannot seem to get over it, through it, round it or under it. The anxiety is choking me and I still cannot eat or drink anything without feeling I am going to choke. My arms and legs hurt so much and I am not sleeping properly. I try to make myself do something every day, but it all see...	Suzannah	5	731	Nov 19, 2008 by RLC
	ODAT Nov 15 (Preview) My HP works in strange, helpful ways. I saw my AHsober Fri night. We went to dinner and then went dancing. I became jealous of his life without me and treated him poorly. The next day I went to an Alanon meeting and opened the book to Nov. 15. Bitterness towards the A. Yes, my attitude towards my A is often ho...	nmike	3	501	Nov 19, 2008 by ddub
	questioning ex AH's motive... (Preview) Hello MIP family I haven't posted here in a very long time. I was just thinking maybe someone here might have some experience with this situation. This morning, my A ex-husband called my sister out of the blue. We haven't seen or heard from him in nearly 2 years. He had found an instruction book for our s...	artygirl	6	704	Nov 19, 2008 by artygirl
	An Open Letter to my AH (Preview) "Dear _____, I'm writing this letter to you because I don't yet have the courage to speak to you about this face to face. Most of the time, I don't feel safe expressing my feelings to you as you usually find a way to take what I say and mold it into a very sharp object to stab me with repeatedly later on....	blender_girl	6	1479	Nov 18, 2008 by Beth.M
	This thing about feeling like a part of you is dying... (Preview) I really needed to share with you about this, this morning. YES! A part of "us" must die (or it feels that way). I really believe this is true but although its incredibly uncomfortable and feels painful I also believe its absolutely necessary and a good sign, ultimately. What had died? F...	Jean4444	7	1091	Nov 18, 2008 by maresie
	It is starting again. (Preview) I am wore out just thinking of what is going to happen next. Today I found out that my A took a couple of checks from our Retirement account and cashed them. Six months ago we went to our Lawyers and he signed over a power of attorney to me on all accounts but he signs my name of checks and all is good. ...	weggie	4	521	Nov 18, 2008 by Jerry F
	more infor please (Preview) Hi all I have just got thourght reading "The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage" understand and can see some things that is helpful. However, when it was talking about the way the A chose his or she partner i did not really see my marriage in it. He was quiet and I was shy and in the book it one is...	smileycat	2	512	Nov 18, 2008 by Jerry F
	Am I crazy? (Preview) It has been three months since my ex ABF left our home. I have seen him about 4 times since then, for only about an hour or so, and we've only spoken about 8 times in our time apart. My last conversation with him last week led me to believe that he is really struggling but that he is finally making some chang...	hopeful123	5	526	Nov 18, 2008 by canadianguy
	The truck flipped over 4 times, is he done drinking yet? (Preview) Wow! Is how I have to start this post. Last night my brother-in-law was in a bad car accident, and he had been drinking. He rolled the truck 4 times and was thrown to the passenger side of the vehicle. When the police got there they didn't know if he was the driver or if somebody else had been there. They had j...	wildthang86	2	417	Nov 18, 2008 by maresie
	Having a real bad day! very sad and could use a little encouragement (Preview) I just joined this board last week, feeling like i had no one to turn to. I have been coming on daily and reading everyone's posts- they keep me going and i see more and more i'm not alone. Thank you sooo much everyone for sharing. I did get a chance to go to one meeting so far and hope to get to more soon! I had ju...	hurtnfedup	4	635	Nov 18, 2008 by hurtnfedup
	New member needs advice (Preview) I am married to a man who was on the wagon for 25 years, but due to retirement started drinking again. He is 69 and although been to 3 AA meetings, he is still drinking steadily, and I do not believe he is serious about stopping, or has not the willpower. We have been married six years. He denies that he i...	hibiscusrose	5	546	Nov 17, 2008 by hibiscusrose
	Thank you to my HP (Preview) Thank you for my beautiful day. Thank you for the energy and health today to put my painting room together. Thank you for sending my brother and nephew and one of my oldest friends to visit me. Thank you for helping me to a safe place where I can keep my prescription in my own medicine cabinet. Thank you for...	Jennifer	3	442	Nov 17, 2008 by weggie
	Youuuuu whoooooo Maria123 (Preview) Vere r u dahling??? did you run off with that neighbor? hugs,debilyn -- Edited by debilyn at 22:52, 2008-11-17	debilyn	0	361	Nov 17, 2008 by debilyn
	step 7 share (Preview) The other night I was saying the serenity prayer out loud and reading the steps. I got to step 7 and I was thinking about how I really do want my HP to remove my shortcomings. I've been so frustrated and impatient lately and I don't want a bad attitude anymore. So I humbly prayed and asked HP to remove these d...	christinajeanne	0	1202	Nov 17, 2008 by christinajeanne
	My AH is starting to drink again (Preview) My AH has started to sneak alcohol again. My whole family sees it but his family is oblivious to it. There are a lot of medical crises going on on his side and they just don't see it. I cannot tell on him because he will get in trouble with his monitoring program and be kicked out. He has spent the last 3 1/2 y...	NancyfromNC	4	465	Nov 17, 2008 by NancyfromNC
	Feeling left out (Preview) Hi all I am haveing a bad week as early said we are back in active drinking. He had a meeting with his counsler about 20 minutes ago and them make a dicede for the hloe family and them wanted to know i feeling on it in a very public place I do not get taking in a room and ask I get ask in the front office how I feel a...	smileycat	2	350	Nov 17, 2008 by LEEA
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.