Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Before you read this, go to Yahoo! and look up "Former Klansman apologizes" I think that's the title, at least. Did you watch it? Man, that's powerful. I hear so many newcomers say how they feel the alcholic owes them amends. What struck me about the video is that, well, how many people d...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Ive just come home and experienced a terrible low tonight, one week since my AH told me he wasnt coming back. I tried the chat room and came out feeling rather stupid. I thought it was for like minded people who are there to support but yes, I felt stupid for sharing what was happening to me, it didnt get a go...

Christy · Christy

http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/#develop

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

My new boyfriend is 24, I'm 38 - with 3 kids.... I find it amazing that someone so young could step up and be more of a man than any "man" my age that I have ever met. So I'm sharing this picture of my new boyfriend and my son that touches my heart so deeply I can't even express it in words. It almos...

Ness · Ness

I blew it today with my A son..... After the scare with his health last week, his key worker said it may help him to come home for a bit, to 'normality', and I said the same to him as I said to my son that we would love to see him but that he had to go through a hospital detox and come home 'dry' and clean ( his se...

Jerry F · Jerry F

how far you've come or how much time in how many meetings. It isn't about how far you have to go and what you have to achieve in the future. That's all important and it's not the end of it all. It's about right now. Where am I right now and what am I doing in the now and am I here with my HP and what I've been giv...

New Balance · New Balance

This my first post, although this is the first place I come every morning. I have been married for almost 12 yrs with a 9 and 11 year old. I have been seperated for 2 yrs. My husband is currently in rehab and has been for 4 mths. He basically took the kids to school one morning and never came home. It took me abo...

glad lee · glad lee

It was pay day at work yesterday. As an employee who's been there since the business opened, I am aware of how "relaxed" the corporate people are about delivering the checks on time. Yesterday, I was aware they were having a party amongst themselves at the corporate office, they had gott...

Mariner · Mariner

Just want say GOOD LUCK for today. I'll be sending you positive vibes Carol

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Wanted to come by and thank my MIP family for all of the ESH that came my way yesterday. I prayed on things, wrote them out, tossed them in my God box, and woke up this am to a beautiful day of sunshine and 55-60 degree temps(coming from a week of below freezing I am loving it) I feel better today and the ESH poi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My sleep has been limited so I had a minor break last night. I was feeling empty-minded and felt a break coming on. Stress & lack of good sleep can really ruin a good healthy program. I am again being reminded to detach from other people's problems. Like my mom for instance. She had a bad experience a...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Tonight is the Business Meeitng. Here is the agenda I have as of now. Sorry so late in posting this. MIP Al-Anon Business Meeting Feb 8th, 2009Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report: Appro...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Chair opened the meeting with the serenity prayer. Chair volunteered to be secretary as the group secretary has stepped down. Treasurer's report was not available as we no longer have a treasurer. Meeting schedule was updated to refelct member's leaving. Seventh tradition fund raiser was discus...

smile04 · smile04

Hi I am new here. Just needed to share my problems and need help and advice please. I am really in a dark place right now. I have been married for 16yrs and my recovering alcoholic husband is drinking again for the millionth time after I have discovered he has been having an affair. He drank in October for...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

In all of my new found comfort and arrogance I went against what I KNEW and have been working on, and decided to just have a "quick peak" at the ExABF's page on MYSPACE......NOT a good idea....He has recently added yet another new "female friend" and when I saw that I literally f...

spirit · spirit

Please read this alone. I cant take much this much longer. I cant take the accusations agaist me. Beacause I had my hair done, "who said they like it long? your getting it done becase someone said they liked it... I wanted it. because I am tired of looking like i dont take care of mysefl... But its...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Been on these boards for awhile now, and working the steps. Have struggled many times over with situations with sober EXABF. I met him 10 yrs sober and in recovery and never knew what he was like drinking, so I never felt I had anything to compare when he exhibited certain behaviors. It...

jasobel · jasobel

Hi - I am new to all of this. I will attend my first alanon meeting monday night. It has been helpful reading all of your posts to try to learn what alanon is all about. I am very thankful tonight I found this online forum. My boyfriend of over a year is an alcoholic. He is attending AA, but had a huge set back Mo...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

When I was down, You cared for me. When I was lost, You were there for me. You held me up, When I couldnt stand. You helped me to My feet again. You shined your light In every way You pulled me through From day to day. You guided me toward A life of peace Yo...

cichlid6 · cichlid6

Sharing about religion and not saying it is part of program? I'm totally cool with that. Hell, share about whatever you want if it's how you relate to your program. If your gonna say your specific religion is part of the 12 step, you would be wrong, and I can see I would have a problem with that, but give...

cichlid6 · cichlid6

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barisax · barisax

Right about now, exactly 20 years ago I set down a half glass of beer. I had no idea at the time that I wouldn't have a drink of alcohol for 20 years. I had no plans to go to AA the next day - but that's where I wound up. That was just a day, and today is just another day, and tomorrow will be just another day. Th...

missing out · missing out

Well, Tonight I went to my F2f, I think I realized, I am right were I need to be... I listened to them people chat, and talk and for once I listened to 'what' they were saying instead of "watching" them talk!!! Sounds dumb I know, but tonight there was a lady that made it 6 years in al-anon, and she...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

Hi ya everyone. Its been 2 weeks since he walked out and Im still very upset. After everything he has done to me Im stll upset he has gone. I should be dancing on the clouds. I lay in bed last night and I cried myself to sleep. I miss the company I hate being alone at night and I know that isnt the right reason to h...

Maria123 · Maria123

Hey gang, Would those of you who care to please say a lil prayer for me. I am scheduled to have major surgery on Friday. Thus far, I've been too darn busy to worry about it and still have much to do before Friday while I am out of work for at least 3 weeks and up to 6. Today I had to go for pre-surg. information and...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

((((((FAMILY))))))) I have been away for awhile. Some of you may recall that I have brain cancer, had a successful surgery last January to remove a tumor. But I suffer from excessive fluid on my brain, in my spinal canal. January 23, I had a spinal tap to release some of the fluid, the pressure builds up a...

Rita G · Rita G

I don't often get the chance to post here much anymore but I felt the urging to share this with my old friends here. Praying that each of you are seeking a way to be Happy, Joyous and Free - regardless of the chaos surrounding us! We all have lessons to learn, we all must walk our own path - I am in NO WAY giving...

ollie · ollie

i have not posted in a while..... but tonight i need to get this out.....telling folks who understand and know only to well what i feel. ah has just been fired fron his job..... stealing money out of some ones wallet , how low can a person get. i know this was out of my control,but still i feel shame. im lef...

Fifi · Fifi

I found myself in the midst of old behaviors last night....out of control, irrational emotions. I felt a twinge of pain while talking with my exA on the phone briefly....someone in the background, not him, made an insensitive joke, it triggered me and I felt the vaccuum start to swirl.....I lashed ou...

daylight48 · daylight48

Hello, I am a grateful member of the Al Anon Chat Room. I have met some great people there. I noticed someone dropped in to listen, they said they were an OP. I wonder is this person allowed to be here? Are they here to protect us? If someone could explain this I would very grateful. daylight

Ash · Ash

I can't be all things to all people, every person has a God..... even if they don't know it. I don't want to be in the way of them finding the good stuff. It seems that it is best for me to stay centered (pull to the center of the dysfunctional triangle) with my Higher Power and find something that brings joy...

ddub · ddub

This is not any information most of us have not experienced but good to see words put to what we have been through. It refers to those who live with alcoholics have emotional intoxicants. The 4 stages we go through are similar to the alcoholic and labeled: concerned stage, defense stage, adaption...

barisax · barisax

Here I am only about 9 hours away from celebrating 20 years since my last drink... 1 am 2/6/1989. Much of my sobriety has been learning about myself and relationships... mostly through the lack thereof. This is where Alanon has been of such great value to me. We in Alanon know about the phenomenon of &...

Suzannah · Suzannah

(((((((((((((((((Missing))))))))))))))))))))))), and anyone else who is grieving for a loved one at this time, I lost my own father just a few weeks before you lost your father and I understand the rawness of your grief. The adjustment to this loss takes time and, although it does happen different...

cichlid6 · cichlid6

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Cindy Sue · Cindy Sue

Just a note to say hello and that I'm back. One of those things ya know. You walk away from AlAnon after years of meetings. Husband gets off drugs and then returns to drinking. Little by little it's out of control. With that said, so am I. Disgusted with the whole lot. Disgusted and angry that I'm b...

Ness · Ness

I'm struggling a bit, well more than a bit, today. Since having contact with my Ason over the last 48 hours, my detachment from his illness remains solid but my maternal instincts will be my battle today. He is in a bad place right now, I can feel his fear and to top it all have just had a phonecall from him t...

maresie · maresie

I have a job interview this week (Friday). I desperately need some stability a job, benefits, stability. i need to be working on moving on from where I am. Please send up prayers that I get all the help I need to get through and suceed. maresie.

Ickle Lynnie · Ickle Lynnie

Have just had an Epihany (is that how you spell it) while reading through the posts. My depression and my disease did not begin with my AH's drinking. It begun with needing others to 'need' me. It begun with me seeking out other's who were dependent in order to validate myself. This started long before m...

belle1 · belle1

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERSby Portia NelsonI I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in. I am lost ... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes me forever to find a way out. II I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fal...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Hi, Im completely new to this forum and glad ive found it. Ive been married for just about 6 years, 7 years together and I have battled with my husbands rounds of drinking bouts, sobriety and working back to alcohol again. Hes left me many times, not come home at night, picked arguments to go out and drink...

missing out · missing out

I sit here and I read about all your posts, and i feel so deeply for all of you and your struggle and I am so happy when you all make it to that special place in your life and all is good in the world... Personally, I'm not married too or dating my A's.. My Afather is deceased as of Nov.08, My Abrother -which foll...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So happy together!

souljoy · souljoy

My AH is in AA and he has almost 6 months. So much has changed in the last 6 months for the both of us because both of us are in recovery. We communicate better most of the time. We don't argue as much. We seem to enjoy our lives together now. I am thankful for these things. But then there are days I just do not ge...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I received several responses to my post about EXABF showing up at my work to deliver a birthday card yesterday and am thankful for all the input. I do however have a question.....I feel that when I told him that we needed to have no contact that that was setting a pretty FIRM boundary. YES I did contac...

MrFrustrated · MrFrustrated

I need to start, as I'm sure most do, with the fact that I love my wife more than anything in this world, and I would do anything for her and our children. I think in the end, this is probably where my problems lies. My wife has a drinking problem. When sober, she is incredible, a wonderful person, a fantast...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I just wanted to stop by and thank all of you for the much needed support the past few days, the past few weeks, and the past few months:) I reasoned a lot of things out last night with my HP and do feel much better about many things. I must admit this has been quite a bumpy ride, with lots...

Sincerely · Sincerely

I am starting to get it. And to think, I already thought I had it. Alanon is such a wonderful program. Newbies, stick it out here, work it, fake it until you make it! You will get it. And old timers, THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT! Since July of 08 I have been coming here. I have learned many things. I h...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

I wonder if any of you understand or are familiar with one of the quirks of my AH, which is that he seems to see himself as being on a "higher level" than other people, Ive found a number of videos hes taken of himself just looking at the camera! Part of his coldness seems bound up in his ego. Frie...

barisax · barisax

I started to post this as a responce to the "Once an A, always an A" thread but thought I'd start a new one. When an alcoholic gets sober, and begins to accumulate some sobriety, changes do begin immediately but not as fast as we'd like them to. Usually the physical improvement comes first. T...

Ness · Ness

Following on from my son's phone-call to us at 5.30 this morning, he also phoned his sister this afternoon and was telling her he has been hospitalized off and on over the last few weeks as his medical condition is deteriorating and that he would like to come home for a few days to get his 'head straig...

luvinmom · luvinmom

My son has been in living in a 3/4 house per the outcome of his last court date. We were thrilled that the court sent him there. He had a release date set for Feb 8 with a return to court date Feb 10. Visitation has not been permitted, and phone use (severly) limited. I have been working my program reall...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Well as I have posted before my husband is a binge drinker, and in Nov he had a pretty bad binge, tore up his car, we had to spend about 500.00 to fix it, and he didnt have it for 3 weeks while we were waiting for parts, he had to rely on someone else to take him to work, and well he said to me at that time, ( like man...

Sincerely · Sincerely

humilated at work, his friend told me that he asked him for some painpills. i called him when i left work. (my a husband) i told him that i know he is an alcholic and drug addict. i asked him to just be honest with me about his abuse. he works the program. he never drinks around me. i know that doesn't mak...

db55 · db55

Once an A, always an A, thank God for AA! Someone posted and asked why or if they kept acting like an A even when they are in AA... I was lying in bed this morning and that came to my mind again. I am up a little early because of that! I woke my A hubby up because I sneezed -- stopped his snoring!!! But, I sneezed ag...

Goodgran · Goodgran

Hi everybody, my name is Marie and I'm a grateful Al-Anon. I just joined your group today. I have 12 years in the program. My husband the alcoholic has 21 years sober, by the grace of God and the program of AA. We live a (mostly) peaceful life anchored by both of us working in the recovery movement here...

Marshmallow · Marshmallow

Forgive me this is long..need to vent...BADLY Stopped a AHseperated this morning. He's in our house of 14 years. I've quietly watched as he's let things go in the house. Watching him sink to his bottom. It's a mess. He has the kids half the week. It's so bad my daughter is embarrassed to have anyon...

maryam · maryam

As in the past update..my b/f finally went to detox, picked up and taken by VA social workers. didn't originally want to go after drinking for 15 days. He had me bring ciggs and candy which i did. went in last Thurday even though he didn't want to pay for it. He was released today. I just got home from work a...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Last week, after being broken up for two months and maintaining contact via email and phone, I advised EXABF that I no longer wished to do so. Things had been good to this point with the possibilityof reconciling-or so I thought-up until the day he brought up dating other people. I did not wa...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

After EXABF showed up at work yesterday, I have been feeling off kilter. I am struggling with yet another question that I can NOT come to terms with. EXABF has told me b4 that he prays daily only for God's will for him(and i may be naive but I genuinely believe this, and that he follows that guidance)....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Amends 101 (Preview) Before you read this, go to Yahoo! and look up "Former Klansman apologizes" I think that's the title, at least. Did you watch it? Man, that's powerful. I hear so many newcomers say how they feel the alcholic owes them amends. What struck me about the video is that, well, how many people d...	Tiger2006	3	645	Feb 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	Sarcasm in the chat room (Preview) Ive just come home and experienced a terrible low tonight, one week since my AH told me he wasnt coming back. I tried the chat room and came out feeling rather stupid. I thought it was for like minded people who are there to support but yes, I felt stupid for sharing what was happening to me, it didnt get a go...	Lilly Burn	8	735	Feb 9, 2009 by barisax
	"Letting Go" (Preview) http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/#develop	Christy	5	8073	Feb 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	My favorite picture... (Preview) My new boyfriend is 24, I'm 38 - with 3 kids.... I find it amazing that someone so young could step up and be more of a man than any "man" my age that I have ever met. So I'm sharing this picture of my new boyfriend and my son that touches my heart so deeply I can't even express it in words. It almos...	carolinagirl	3	563	Feb 9, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Detachment.....blew it today, appreciate some ESH (Preview) I blew it today with my A son..... After the scare with his health last week, his key worker said it may help him to come home for a bit, to 'normality', and I said the same to him as I said to my son that we would love to see him but that he had to go through a hospital detox and come home 'dry' and clean ( his se...	Ness	8	740	Feb 9, 2009 by maresie
	It's never about... (Preview) how far you've come or how much time in how many meetings. It isn't about how far you have to go and what you have to achieve in the future. That's all important and it's not the end of it all. It's about right now. Where am I right now and what am I doing in the now and am I here with my HP and what I've been giv...	Jerry F	9	737	Feb 8, 2009 by Christy
	Making it one day at a time (Preview) This my first post, although this is the first place I come every morning. I have been married for almost 12 yrs with a 9 and 11 year old. I have been seperated for 2 yrs. My husband is currently in rehab and has been for 4 mths. He basically took the kids to school one morning and never came home. It took me abo...	New Balance	3	612	Feb 8, 2009 by missing out
	Forgetting tools, getting hooked (Preview) It was pay day at work yesterday. As an employee who's been there since the business opened, I am aware of how "relaxed" the corporate people are about delivering the checks on time. Yesterday, I was aware they were having a party amongst themselves at the corporate office, they had gott...	glad lee	4	676	Feb 8, 2009 by maresie
	MARESIE (Preview) Just want say GOOD LUCK for today. I'll be sending you positive vibes Carol	Mariner	6	621	Feb 8, 2009 by maresie
	Beautiful HP given day~ (Preview) Wanted to come by and thank my MIP family for all of the ESH that came my way yesterday. I prayed on things, wrote them out, tossed them in my God box, and woke up this am to a beautiful day of sunshine and 55-60 degree temps(coming from a week of below freezing I am loving it) I feel better today and the ESH poi...	shellyj123	2	540	Feb 8, 2009 by Jerry F
	Not enough sleep! (Preview) My sleep has been limited so I had a minor break last night. I was feeling empty-minded and felt a break coming on. Stress & lack of good sleep can really ruin a good healthy program. I am again being reminded to detach from other people's problems. Like my mom for instance. She had a bad experience a...	Hoot Nanny	3	611	Feb 8, 2009 by Jean4444
	business meeting (Preview) Tonight is the Business Meeitng. Here is the agenda I have as of now. Sorry so late in posting this. MIP Al-Anon Business Meeting Feb 8th, 2009Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report: Appro...	Mandy123	0	318	Feb 8, 2009 by Mandy123
	January business meeting minutes (Preview) Chair opened the meeting with the serenity prayer. Chair volunteered to be secretary as the group secretary has stepped down. Treasurer's report was not available as we no longer have a treasurer. Meeting schedule was updated to refelct member's leaving. Seventh tradition fund raiser was discus...	Mandy123	0	330	Feb 8, 2009 by Mandy123
	Letting Go???? (Preview) Hi I am new here. Just needed to share my problems and need help and advice please. I am really in a dark place right now. I have been married for 16yrs and my recovering alcoholic husband is drinking again for the millionth time after I have discovered he has been having an affair. He drank in October for...	smile04	16	493	Feb 8, 2009 by Ickle Lynnie
	I brought it on myself......need some ESH to stop the hurt I am feeling. (Preview) In all of my new found comfort and arrogance I went against what I KNEW and have been working on, and decided to just have a "quick peak" at the ExABF's page on MYSPACE......NOT a good idea....He has recently added yet another new "female friend" and when I saw that I literally f...	shellyj123	4	601	Feb 8, 2009 by blender_girl
	Accusations (Preview) Please read this alone. I cant take much this much longer. I cant take the accusations agaist me. Beacause I had my hair done, "who said they like it long? your getting it done becase someone said they liked it... I wanted it. because I am tired of looking like i dont take care of mysefl... But its...	spirit	7	821	Feb 7, 2009 by nmike
	Sober A's v/s Functioning A's......... (Preview) Been on these boards for awhile now, and working the steps. Have struggled many times over with situations with sober EXABF. I met him 10 yrs sober and in recovery and never knew what he was like drinking, so I never felt I had anything to compare when he exhibited certain behaviors. It...	shellyj123	11	756	Feb 7, 2009 by db55
	new to the board - first post - trying to understand... (Preview) Hi - I am new to all of this. I will attend my first alanon meeting monday night. It has been helpful reading all of your posts to try to learn what alanon is all about. I am very thankful tonight I found this online forum. My boyfriend of over a year is an alcoholic. He is attending AA, but had a huge set back Mo...	jasobel	5	714	Feb 7, 2009 by db55
	~~~TLCATE~~~ (Preview) When I was down, You cared for me. When I was lost, You were there for me. You held me up, When I couldnt stand. You helped me to My feet again. You shined your light In every way You pulled me through From day to day. You guided me toward A life of peace Yo...	shellyj123	1	440	Feb 7, 2009 by shellyj123
	Religion in Program? Who are we to judge! HOT TOPIC (Preview) Sharing about religion and not saying it is part of program? I'm totally cool with that. Hell, share about whatever you want if it's how you relate to your program. If your gonna say your specific religion is part of the 12 step, you would be wrong, and I can see I would have a problem with that, but give...	cichlid6	12	817	Feb 7, 2009 by cichlid6
	anyone got a good title for my story? (Preview) <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:1; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-format:other; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 0;} @font-face {font-family:Cali...	cichlid6	2	581	Feb 7, 2009 by cichlid6
	Thanks for 20 Years - Hopefully not off topic (Preview) Right about now, exactly 20 years ago I set down a half glass of beer. I had no idea at the time that I wouldn't have a drink of alcohol for 20 years. I had no plans to go to AA the next day - but that's where I wound up. That was just a day, and today is just another day, and tomorrow will be just another day. Th...	barisax	15	723	Feb 7, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	Tonight just what I needed.... (Preview) Well, Tonight I went to my F2f, I think I realized, I am right were I need to be... I listened to them people chat, and talk and for once I listened to 'what' they were saying instead of "watching" them talk!!! Sounds dumb I know, but tonight there was a lady that made it 6 years in al-anon, and she...	missing out	3	592	Feb 7, 2009 by RLC
	When???? (Preview) Hi ya everyone. Its been 2 weeks since he walked out and Im still very upset. After everything he has done to me Im stll upset he has gone. I should be dancing on the clouds. I lay in bed last night and I cried myself to sleep. I miss the company I hate being alone at night and I know that isnt the right reason to h...	mum2leahnjosh	4	705	Feb 7, 2009 by SLS
	a lil prayer please (Preview) Hey gang, Would those of you who care to please say a lil prayer for me. I am scheduled to have major surgery on Friday. Thus far, I've been too darn busy to worry about it and still have much to do before Friday while I am out of work for at least 3 weeks and up to 6. Today I had to go for pre-surg. information and...	Maria123	15	3283	Feb 6, 2009 by bob6502
	I have been out of touch for awhile but for a good reason, now I am back... (Preview) ((((((FAMILY))))))) I have been away for awhile. Some of you may recall that I have brain cancer, had a successful surgery last January to remove a tumor. But I suffer from excessive fluid on my brain, in my spinal canal. January 23, I had a spinal tap to release some of the fluid, the pressure builds up a...	wildthang86	7	671	Feb 6, 2009 by Rora
	Lessons learned (Preview) I don't often get the chance to post here much anymore but I felt the urging to share this with my old friends here. Praying that each of you are seeking a way to be Happy, Joyous and Free - regardless of the chaos surrounding us! We all have lessons to learn, we all must walk our own path - I am in NO WAY giving...	Rita G	8	726	Feb 6, 2009 by db55
	my progress is pushed to the limit (Preview) i have not posted in a while..... but tonight i need to get this out.....telling folks who understand and know only to well what i feel. ah has just been fired fron his job..... stealing money out of some ones wallet , how low can a person get. i know this was out of my control,but still i feel shame. im lef...	ollie	6	612	Feb 6, 2009 by ollie
	my relapse (Preview) I found myself in the midst of old behaviors last night....out of control, irrational emotions. I felt a twinge of pain while talking with my exA on the phone briefly....someone in the background, not him, made an insensitive joke, it triggered me and I felt the vaccuum start to swirl.....I lashed ou...	Fifi	4	634	Feb 6, 2009 by shellyj123
	someone explain please (Preview) Hello, I am a grateful member of the Al Anon Chat Room. I have met some great people there. I noticed someone dropped in to listen, they said they were an OP. I wonder is this person allowed to be here? Are they here to protect us? If someone could explain this I would very grateful. daylight	daylight48	2	524	Feb 6, 2009 by daylight48
	Epiphany! (Preview) I can't be all things to all people, every person has a God..... even if they don't know it. I don't want to be in the way of them finding the good stuff. It seems that it is best for me to stay centered (pull to the center of the dysfunctional triangle) with my Higher Power and find something that brings joy...	Ash	3	620	Feb 6, 2009 by Jean4444
	Emotional Intoxicants (Preview) This is not any information most of us have not experienced but good to see words put to what we have been through. It refers to those who live with alcoholics have emotional intoxicants. The 4 stages we go through are similar to the alcoholic and labeled: concerned stage, defense stage, adaption...	ddub	6	868	Feb 6, 2009 by Jean4444
	Facing Fears, and what is Meant to Be (Preview) Here I am only about 9 hours away from celebrating 20 years since my last drink... 1 am 2/6/1989. Much of my sobriety has been learning about myself and relationships... mostly through the lack thereof. This is where Alanon has been of such great value to me. We in Alanon know about the phenomenon of &...	barisax	4	797	Feb 6, 2009 by Suzannah
	Grieving - bereavement and being gentle in answer to "Missingout's" post... (Preview) (((((((((((((((((Missing))))))))))))))))))))))), and anyone else who is grieving for a loved one at this time, I lost my own father just a few weeks before you lost your father and I understand the rawness of your grief. The adjustment to this loss takes time and, although it does happen different...	Suzannah	6	564	Feb 6, 2009 by Suzannah
	Mark.. FROM MISERY (Preview) <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:1; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-format:other; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 0;} @font-face {font-family:Cali...	cichlid6	3	867	Feb 6, 2009 by Christy
	I'm Baaack (Preview) Just a note to say hello and that I'm back. One of those things ya know. You walk away from AlAnon after years of meetings. Husband gets off drugs and then returns to drinking. Little by little it's out of control. With that said, so am I. Disgusted with the whole lot. Disgusted and angry that I'm b...	Cindy Sue	8	558	Feb 5, 2009 by Cindy Sue
	Bad day....My Serenity is sorely challenged (Preview) I'm struggling a bit, well more than a bit, today. Since having contact with my Ason over the last 48 hours, my detachment from his illness remains solid but my maternal instincts will be my battle today. He is in a bad place right now, I can feel his fear and to top it all have just had a phonecall from him t...	Ness	6	620	Feb 5, 2009 by Ness
	prayers please (Preview) I have a job interview this week (Friday). I desperately need some stability a job, benefits, stability. i need to be working on moving on from where I am. Please send up prayers that I get all the help I need to get through and suceed. maresie.	maresie	11	599	Feb 5, 2009 by wildthang86
	Epihany - Co-dependency (Preview) Have just had an Epihany (is that how you spell it) while reading through the posts. My depression and my disease did not begin with my AH's drinking. It begun with needing others to 'need' me. It begun with me seeking out other's who were dependent in order to validate myself. This started long before m...	Ickle Lynnie	3	723	Feb 5, 2009 by maresie
	Poem For Thoughts (Preview) AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERSby Portia NelsonI I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in. I am lost ... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes me forever to find a way out. II I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fal...	belle1	4	8376	Feb 5, 2009 by carolinagirl
	My husband told me his is leaving me from the West Indies on the phone (Preview) Hi, Im completely new to this forum and glad ive found it. Ive been married for just about 6 years, 7 years together and I have battled with my husbands rounds of drinking bouts, sobriety and working back to alcohol again. Hes left me many times, not come home at night, picked arguments to go out and drink...	Lilly Burn	17	1408	Feb 5, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Slowly losing it! (Preview) I sit here and I read about all your posts, and i feel so deeply for all of you and your struggle and I am so happy when you all make it to that special place in your life and all is good in the world... Personally, I'm not married too or dating my A's.. My Afather is deceased as of Nov.08, My Abrother -which foll...	missing out	5	584	Feb 5, 2009 by missing out
	FYI me and my new guy! (Preview) So happy together!	carolinagirl	7	667	Feb 5, 2009 by Gailey
	I find times when I just don't get it. (Preview) My AH is in AA and he has almost 6 months. So much has changed in the last 6 months for the both of us because both of us are in recovery. We communicate better most of the time. We don't argue as much. We seem to enjoy our lives together now. I am thankful for these things. But then there are days I just do not ge...	souljoy	9	615	Feb 5, 2009 by souljoy
	Question on boundary setting??? (Preview) I received several responses to my post about EXABF showing up at my work to deliver a birthday card yesterday and am thankful for all the input. I do however have a question.....I feel that when I told him that we needed to have no contact that that was setting a pretty FIRM boundary. YES I did contac...	shellyj123	10	931	Feb 5, 2009 by shellyj123
	Reaching my limit (Preview) I need to start, as I'm sure most do, with the fact that I love my wife more than anything in this world, and I would do anything for her and our children. I think in the end, this is probably where my problems lies. My wife has a drinking problem. When sober, she is incredible, a wonderful person, a fantast...	MrFrustrated	13	815	Feb 5, 2009 by GailMichelle
	Living my life in the now-for me, for my son. (Preview) I just wanted to stop by and thank all of you for the much needed support the past few days, the past few weeks, and the past few months:) I reasoned a lot of things out last night with my HP and do feel much better about many things. I must admit this has been quite a bumpy ride, with lots...	shellyj123	2	685	Feb 4, 2009 by hotrod
	I am starting to get it (alanon)!!!!!! (Preview) I am starting to get it. And to think, I already thought I had it. Alanon is such a wonderful program. Newbies, stick it out here, work it, fake it until you make it! You will get it. And old timers, THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT! Since July of 08 I have been coming here. I have learned many things. I h...	Sincerely	7	873	Feb 4, 2009 by aunitedway
	Needing help with all sorts of questions.. is anything familiar here? (Preview) I wonder if any of you understand or are familiar with one of the quirks of my AH, which is that he seems to see himself as being on a "higher level" than other people, Ive found a number of videos hes taken of himself just looking at the camera! Part of his coldness seems bound up in his ego. Frie...	Lilly Burn	11	698	Feb 4, 2009 by serendipity
	Growth (Preview) I started to post this as a responce to the "Once an A, always an A" thread but thought I'd start a new one. When an alcoholic gets sober, and begins to accumulate some sobriety, changes do begin immediately but not as fast as we'd like them to. Usually the physical improvement comes first. T...	barisax	5	640	Feb 4, 2009 by Suzannah
	Detachment...... Hope.... (Preview) Following on from my son's phone-call to us at 5.30 this morning, he also phoned his sister this afternoon and was telling her he has been hospitalized off and on over the last few weeks as his medical condition is deteriorating and that he would like to come home for a few days to get his 'head straig...	Ness	4	1153	Feb 4, 2009 by Ness
	Gift from HP (Preview) My son has been in living in a 3/4 house per the outcome of his last court date. We were thrilled that the court sent him there. He had a release date set for Feb 8 with a return to court date Feb 10. Visitation has not been permitted, and phone use (severly) limited. I have been working my program reall...	luvinmom	4	611	Feb 4, 2009 by Jean4444
	Super Bowl = Super Bad (Preview) Well as I have posted before my husband is a binge drinker, and in Nov he had a pretty bad binge, tore up his car, we had to spend about 500.00 to fix it, and he didnt have it for 3 weeks while we were waiting for parts, he had to rely on someone else to take him to work, and well he said to me at that time, ( like man...	princessloretta	5	526	Feb 3, 2009 by puzzle
	He walked out... (Preview) humilated at work, his friend told me that he asked him for some painpills. i called him when i left work. (my a husband) i told him that i know he is an alcholic and drug addict. i asked him to just be honest with me about his abuse. he works the program. he never drinks around me. i know that doesn't mak...	Sincerely	9	776	Feb 3, 2009 by Sincerely
	Once an A always an A (Preview) Once an A, always an A, thank God for AA! Someone posted and asked why or if they kept acting like an A even when they are in AA... I was lying in bed this morning and that came to my mind again. I am up a little early because of that! I woke my A hubby up because I sneezed -- stopped his snoring!!! But, I sneezed ag...	db55	4	672	Feb 3, 2009 by db55
	A Thread for Sponsors who need support (Preview) Hi everybody, my name is Marie and I'm a grateful Al-Anon. I just joined your group today. I have 12 years in the program. My husband the alcoholic has 21 years sober, by the grace of God and the program of AA. We live a (mostly) peaceful life anchored by both of us working in the recovery movement here...	Goodgran	6	678	Feb 3, 2009 by Goodgran
	Didn't follow the program..need to vent (Preview) Forgive me this is long..need to vent...BADLY Stopped a AHseperated this morning. He's in our house of 14 years. I've quietly watched as he's let things go in the house. Watching him sink to his bottom. It's a mess. He has the kids half the week. It's so bad my daughter is embarrassed to have anyon...	Marshmallow	4	666	Feb 3, 2009 by Marshmallow
	another update!!!!!! (Preview) As in the past update..my b/f finally went to detox, picked up and taken by VA social workers. didn't originally want to go after drinking for 15 days. He had me bring ciggs and candy which i did. went in last Thurday even though he didn't want to pay for it. He was released today. I just got home from work a...	maryam	3	679	Feb 3, 2009 by maresie
	Go away~No wait a minute?????? Need some ESH (Preview) Last week, after being broken up for two months and maintaining contact via email and phone, I advised EXABF that I no longer wished to do so. Things had been good to this point with the possibilityof reconciling-or so I thought-up until the day he brought up dating other people. I did not wa...	shellyj123	6	902	Feb 3, 2009 by maresie
	What is HP trying to teach me?????? I'm missing the lesson here~~~ (Preview) After EXABF showed up at work yesterday, I have been feeling off kilter. I am struggling with yet another question that I can NOT come to terms with. EXABF has told me b4 that he prays daily only for God's will for him(and i may be naive but I genuinely believe this, and that he follows that guidance)....	shellyj123	6	831	Feb 3, 2009 by Christy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.