Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mairmair09 · mairmair09

Where to begin???? My father is an alcoholic. I grew up seeing him get drunk and physically abuse my codependent mother (at the time), and also abuse my little sister. They are no longer married. It's been about 15 years since he's been pretty much out of our lives. My mother is remarried to someone so wo...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

My MIL had a stroke on Friday. She seems to be doing well now but it was touch and go for a few days. I have never been so terrified in my life. She is truly my best friend. How weird is that? My mother-in-law is my best friend!!!!! It happened over a period of days. She had horrendous headaches and had gone to 2...

chezza · chezza

Hello everyone At an al-anon meeting the topic was step 10 "continued to make personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admit it" A member spoke about jumping onto this step in the beginning which I feel am doing myself a lot. Does anyone out there feel that they did or do this? A rec...

Tracy · Tracy

going to my first weekened conference at the end of the month it is called new beginnings. I am really looking forward to it I am going with 6 members from my group some who have been in alanon for over 20 years. My sponsor said there will be al anon and aa meetings and it is up to me what meing I choose to atten...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi (((All))) Just need to off load this. My job involves shifts and a rota. I requested specific days off for when I have a visitor coming in 4 weeks time. Nothing unreasonable and requested in good time. I've just had to really stand my ground to get my request, I didnt get the 3 days off I wanted, just...

Jozie · Jozie

No big drama, I just recently 'Since Finding myself' Realized that I LOVE TO READ fiction books... My question... I know that there are TONS of AL-anon books, but is there any books that anyone knows that are fiction books that tell the story of an Afamily, or an alcoholic that recovered or an Adult Ch...

Tracy · Tracy

last night I did something really foolish I went to a family party and got really drunk. really really drunk. I went to the my AB's house and he walked me home. I can remember crying getting aggressive apologising all kinds of carzy stuff. It was like all my pain was coming out I have been trying to und...

rorussell9 · rorussell9

After hearing Shells story I started having serious flash backs to a time my ex-husband took the only car we had and left me and five children( 4 under the age of 5) stranded. God provided one of the most remarkable miracles and over the course of a day friends and family donated 9,000 dollars to buy a new c...

brightmommy · brightmommy

For today, I have realized that since coming to Alanon I have improved my emotional state...I am no longer trapped in my mind of past events...able to live in Today...Break free from Yesterday and not step into Tomorrow...I can feel the sadness being lifted from my eyes and a new way of life approachin...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

Someone said this in a meeting last week, and it's been so helpful to me... Well, I should have written it down because I'm sure I'm getting it wrong, but... Al-anon allows me to love the addicts in my life. Even if I have to block them from my life for awhile. Even if the rest of the world is saying "Ho...

ange777 · ange777

Hi all newbie here. I am so glad I found this site, the daily stress I go to is sometimes unbearable. My story starts out as a child, i had a lying, very manipulative mother who never showed love, and an alcohlic father. I grew up not knowing who I was and where I was going. I tried so hard to please my parents a...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've heard it said that we never forget the "first time", and I would imagine that for most that probably rings true, but as I write this I wonder how many of us remember the "last time". My son and I have gotten in the habit lately, due to my ever increasing love of the world around m...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

So here it is February again already! And with that, time to revisit Step 2 and contemplate how, if I keep searching, I can continue growing...always new things to learn and discover! This past year I have spent getting to know my HP once again. Still in process of that, and probably will be so the rest of...

Maria123 · Maria123

I am a Great-Auntie!!!!!! I am so excited. One of my very favorite nieces had a baby girl and her namesake is for my mother who died when I was only 26 years old with my own young babies. I know you all just won't believe that a 29 year-old could possibly be a Great Auntie, but tis true. Maria And here she is...

Shell44 · Shell44

My husband and I went to se his grandmother in a nursing home for the first time. she is really losing it. She has alzheimer's and not doing well at all. He then went to band practice and he got home at about 10:45 or so. I was asleep. I noticed that he had gotten in bed when I got up with the baby at 1am but w...

belle1 · belle1

Hi All seems to many using java, access to the chatoom not possible, this is due to the java server being down If your experiencing any difficulties you can download mirc or do what was done last night and visit But1purpose room where we were able to continue with our meeting http://www.but1purpo...

Robinks · Robinks

they called me to sub today, I missed the call but at least they called. Come to the chat room if you have time, I will be there, working on income taxes again today. Sure enjoy chatting with you.

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

My ex A got out of prison last week and his mother has been harrassing me to let him see the kids, talk to the kids, etc. I don't really trust myself on this issue so I talked with all of my friends and family and they all say the same thing - why bring him back into their lives... I have enough problems without...

LonelyAmsterdam · LonelyAmsterdam

Hi Everyone, This is my first time on this forum, and I'm not really sure if it's the right place for me, since my boyfriend is not only an alcoholic but also cross-addicted to several other drugs. I left him on Saturday and am feeling lonely, guilty and heartbroken. I suppose I just need to know that ot...

maresie · maresie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aa-nY3TOhFk this is a fantastic film with Marcia Gay Harden and her real life daughter which is all about alcoholism and the effect on a family. Riveting stuff. I hope it makes it to television or a wide release. I know it helps me tremendously to see some aspect...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

What is this about? Can you write about what it means to force solutions, to you and what it looks like in your own life? What is your ESH re: forcing solutions? I am wondering more and more about this in myself. I think that for me, forcing solutions feels like controlling something but its also about...

getoverit · getoverit

Hello to all, Thank you for being here, helping all of us to grow in this wonderful site. I live in the Phx metro area, as some of y'all know. We have had a serial rapist whose impregnated one of his victims, an eight / nine year old. I am imploring his angels to turn himself into the law. Your help is accepted...

angelchar375 · angelchar375

I am very perplexed about this matter today. AH ck'd into rehab yesterday. No sooner had I turned his phone on, than he started getting calls from his connections. I have yet to answer. Part of me wants to make up this ellaborate lie that he is dead from bad drugs and the cops are looking for anyone associa...

Shell44 · Shell44

I am a 27yr old women with a 5 1/2 month old little girl. My husband is an A and I am suffering from the stress of it all including the stress from my own family. They see that he has a problem and complain to me about it. The catch here is that my husband Nd I live with my mother and step father so we can get on ou...

maresie · maresie

I am almost two years out from leaving the ex A. As many of you will know I left him but still continued to interact with him for the entire year. I am now almost one year out from having any contact at all with him. I believe I am barely scratching the surface of taking care of myself. I'm taking concrete...

maresie · maresie

This morning I was on the way out (which is good since I've been in bed for a few days with allergies. Quite by chance I met an old boss of mine who I worked for 7 years ago. I greeted her warmly. She was very nice and encouraged me to get back in touch with her. I was happy for about 10 seconds then in popped a...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Hi, ive posted a few times here about my AH who has just left me, via phone call from abroad 6 weeks ago. He is in Uk now and weve talked on phone (nearly killed me) and emailed (very unloving but "kind" emails). He has organised himself to get what few things he wanted from house, cos I said I didn...

wjwcalifgirl · wjwcalifgirl

I currently live with my ABF. We have been together for over 2 years ( but dated also for less than a year over 10 years ago- long story alcohol was not involved at that time) We have lived together for little over a year now with my 2 kids from a prev marriage. ( 11 and 13) My ABF does not think he is an alcoholi...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok well got up this morning did my prayers, read my books, sat with the HP and thru in my "Last" Text message to Abrother that read "If you did not contact Land Owner about water, call me ASAP... The Bill is Only going to go UP! Love ya", that was at 7am this morning... So I heard nothin...

Rora · Rora

Ah and I are separated. It has been on and off for about 2 years and sporadically we flirt with reconciliation, though it doesn't take long for the idea of that to be blasted into oblivion, once we spend a few days together. We do really well superficially. It seems a relationship without expectation...

Kerry · Kerry

Frustrated that I can't get on the chat tonight. I was on the site earlier today (just found it today) and registered and all in anticipation of actually chatting with others that are feeling my pain and now I can't get on. I have an AH and am looking for lots of help in dealing with or not dealing with th...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

After several days and to many questions:), I have finally found a bit of serenity in the situation that I was struggling so much with. I realized first and foremost that I was hungry (been working out more and dieting some), angry (at myself for not being able to see with open eyes), lonely, and tired (...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I'd like to thank everyone who responded to my other post from earlier today. I received a lot of great ESH, which is why this is the first place I run when I feel overwelmed or scared (I used to isolate tremendously and did so for years....right up until I decided to let the EXABF in to my life). Anyway I am...

M's Mommy · M's Mommy

I am new to Al-anon. I went to my first real meeting last night. I was late because I wasnt going to go, but I ended up changing my mind at the last minute and I went. Im very happy that I went, because it was so comforting to see that there are others out there who feel or once felt exactly like I am feeling now-l...

Jozie · Jozie

Having need of some ESH.... Just to get started, most of you know that I have an Abrother that i have been trying to get in my Afather (pasted) trailor... Well I know I told ya's about the $600. water bill and blah blah blah... Well since I got the bill I have been trying to contact him, for over a week today.....

hotrod · hotrod

HI Everyone, My name is Betty and I am a grateful member of alanon for over 25 years but very new to the MIP Family. I posted a short time ago and seem to have lost the posting in cyberspace. I will try to recap what I attempted to say. Although I have been a member of alanon for over 25 years I firmly believe th...

maresie · maresie

Frozen river is a movie all about dealing with alcoholism (of course in a desperate dysfunctional crazy way). I could so relate to the charactors trying to hold it all together when everything had crashed. If you want to see how far you have come rent it and enjoy seeing the after effects of alcoholis...

sirensong · sirensong

I posted this on the ACOA forum also, but thought I would post here as well. I don't know if this is the place for me or not. I am an adult (30) and my mother is an alcoholic, but she did not fall into alcoholism until I was in my early 20s. She always drank, and I see now that her lifestyle was getting more and mo...

TheEnabler · TheEnabler

Hi everyone. I'm the wife of an alocoholic. I've been with my husband for 11 years and we have a 7 year old daughter. I just spent a long time going through different threads and I'm confident I'm in the right place. I'm just scared. It feels like I'm taking the 1st step into a journey that I have NO clue w...

Appley · Appley

First off Hi to all, Alot to say ....Worth the read..... I am a mother of a 19 year old cancer kid drug addict and wife of a unproclaimed alcoholic. PHEW 2 years ago my son was dabbling in pot and I am sure other things...we had behavior problems and got him into a therapist...there are stories (night...

Tracy · Tracy

In work today I had health and safety training around risk assessment and lone working. The trainer said we have to explore the risk and dangers and take controlled mesures to protect ourselves and others. I related this to my relationship with the A. Risks and dangers. Wont get my needs met, achieve m...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I'm having a bit of a tough time figuring something out and thought perhaps I would bring it to my MIP family for some ESH. I have an upcoming date with my ExABF on the 20th of this month (so far I nor he has canceled it but I won't believe it 100% until we actually have the date). Anyway I feel that I need to set...

Tracy · Tracy

I surrender I get it my life is a mess and I carnt do it. I am not the almighty. I carnt fix it all. I do believe in Hp always have but my will is so strong. I now get it I need to ask him all day every day what the next move should be he knows best (trust). I have been affected by a disease and need him more than ev...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Well weve only just separated after 6 years of marriage, hes about to go back off to his life of riley in the west indies which is just waiting there for him to do this when he couldnt bear the pressure of coming home and going back to AA, which is what he said he would do before he went away in January. AND now i...

david62 · david62

it's a CAT!!!Hi ((((Family)))) I was reading the board just now and came across Karilynn's great post about the cat and dog analogy (comparison of cats/addicts and dogs/codependents). If you haven't read it check it out, it was posted on March 2nd. I just had to start laughing! I had a cat "incid...

inhisarms · inhisarms

Hi everyone, I have a question i thought i would bounce off my fellow alanon family to gain a better understanding for myself. My ABF is in treatment and has been making progress...so things are looking up. I have a question though on something they are teaching him. According to them it is ok to be ang...

chezza · chezza

Hello everyone I decided to post on the board where I'm at at the moment to get some things off my chest on an event that took place last week. I have completely lost a what I thought was a valued friend who I had a relationship with for 6months last year which ended in October last year. We kept the friendsh...

Goodgran · Goodgran

Hi everybody. I have recently written an article for newcomers about attending their very first al-anon meeting, and I'm wondering if it would be allowed for me to put a link to it on here. Thanks. Gran in Texas.

Maria123 · Maria123

((((((((Family))))))))))), One of our very dearest old timers, Mastiff, needs all of our today. Her hubby had a heart attack this morning. Would you please all include her and him in your prayers today? in recovery, Maria

angelchar375 · angelchar375

He seemed to be getting better, on the right track... and then in the blink of an eye, literally, everything spiraled downward and he is hospitalized for consuming enough drugs to have caused an OD. The hand of God spared his life and now, after many emotions and many what do I do... am trying to understa...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Ohana (Family) The Family Groups are fun when they get together in service and support to do something that is positive and serves a recovery purpose. Service has its own rewards, for me fun and more growth. I know the serious side of all of the guys and gals in program here. When things get toug...

afglin · afglin

My story I grew up in an upper middle class family where both parents were alcoholics. Drinking and fighting and arguing was the only way I knew life to be. At an early age I took on things like cooking and cleaning so my mom could remain passed out and dad would not fuss when he got home. I rarely invited...

Jozie · Jozie

I just wanted to share with you all what a wonderful weeknd I had... Friday night me & Sis in law went to our "Much Needed" F2f meeting, was great... with exception to the migrain I had thru out.. THink that was mostly the stress build up after Abrother last week, but lived and found my grou...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Ive just spoken to my sister and she says she is amazed that my AH is just leaving without a backward glance. Everything ive read suggests that its hard to lose an AH but this one seems to be well and truly on the run...hes got the chance to be far away and thats what he is doing, leaving our life, his business...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was informed that it is very important to stay on topic. I have so much trouble with this even after 23 years! Meetings with me get kinda strange sometimes because I go off on tangents and I am seeing that I do a lot on this forum. To anyone who is reading this: I am sorry for the terrible scattered brain...

Diane B · Diane B

Leave an A up to their HP and start the bookmark of DETACHMENT for yourself. If you don't go to face to face meetings (first of all, GO!) , here is what is on that bookmark....I keep mine right in my wallet next to my money where I always know where it is! 1-don't suffer because of the action or reations o...

Tracy · Tracy

Just been to a x factor tour concert with my little girl I dont think I was even there. One minute the songs were making me miss the A. Next I was tellin myself I dont believe in love have to look after number one. Then beating myself up about stayin for four years. Then my programme kicked in I told mysel...

inhisarms · inhisarms

Ok, so i have been doing my alanon program and really trying to let go let God. Things have been pretty good considering the Abf is in treatment and he has even said several time that he can see me changing and he is so proud of me and my program. So today we have an arguement and i said " i am not going to a...

rebeccaannh · rebeccaannh

I am a new member of Al-Anon. I've been twice to my local meeting place. I know this is a valuable place for me. I do not yet have a sponsor... I am trying to figure out my place in all of this. I AM NOT THE ALCOHOLIC. HE IS. After failing miserably once at trying to control his drinking (after attending my 1st...

Inpain · Inpain

I'm a newbie. So new, I don't even know the 12 steps, but just bought 4 books including the AA manual, Co-dependent no more, adult children of alcoholics and another Co-Dependent no more book. My A has been in meetings for 2.5 months and I'm not sure he took it seriously. Two nights ago, I started read...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	first time here..... (Preview) Where to begin???? My father is an alcoholic. I grew up seeing him get drunk and physically abuse my codependent mother (at the time), and also abuse my little sister. They are no longer married. It's been about 15 years since he's been pretty much out of our lives. My mother is remarried to someone so wo...	mairmair09	8	624	Mar 16, 2009 by Goodgran
	Prayers please! (Preview) My MIL had a stroke on Friday. She seems to be doing well now but it was touch and go for a few days. I have never been so terrified in my life. She is truly my best friend. How weird is that? My mother-in-law is my best friend!!!!! It happened over a period of days. She had horrendous headaches and had gone to 2...	wildthang86	6	567	Mar 16, 2009 by Jerry F
	Firing into step 10 (Preview) Hello everyone At an al-anon meeting the topic was step 10 "continued to make personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admit it" A member spoke about jumping onto this step in the beginning which I feel am doing myself a lot. Does anyone out there feel that they did or do this? A rec...	chezza	5	1106	Mar 16, 2009 by Jerry F
	conference (Preview) going to my first weekened conference at the end of the month it is called new beginnings. I am really looking forward to it I am going with 6 members from my group some who have been in alanon for over 20 years. My sponsor said there will be al anon and aa meetings and it is up to me what meing I choose to atten...	Tracy	2	537	Mar 16, 2009 by Jerry F
	Feeling guilty (Preview) Hi (((All))) Just need to off load this. My job involves shifts and a rota. I requested specific days off for when I have a visitor coming in 4 weeks time. Nothing unreasonable and requested in good time. I've just had to really stand my ground to get my request, I didnt get the 3 days off I wanted, just...	Mariner	3	587	Mar 15, 2009 by Jerry F
	Have a quesstion??? (Preview) No big drama, I just recently 'Since Finding myself' Realized that I LOVE TO READ fiction books... My question... I know that there are TONS of AL-anon books, but is there any books that anyone knows that are fiction books that tell the story of an Afamily, or an alcoholic that recovered or an Adult Ch...	Jozie	3	470	Mar 15, 2009 by BrianS
	choices (Preview) last night I did something really foolish I went to a family party and got really drunk. really really drunk. I went to the my AB's house and he walked me home. I can remember crying getting aggressive apologising all kinds of carzy stuff. It was like all my pain was coming out I have been trying to und...	Tracy	1	531	Mar 15, 2009 by Mariner
	How to stop being a door mat? (Preview) After hearing Shells story I started having serious flash backs to a time my ex-husband took the only car we had and left me and five children( 4 under the age of 5) stranded. God provided one of the most remarkable miracles and over the course of a day friends and family donated 9,000 dollars to buy a new c...	rorussell9	10	3000	Mar 15, 2009 by brightmommy
	One day at a time.... (Preview) For today, I have realized that since coming to Alanon I have improved my emotional state...I am no longer trapped in my mind of past events...able to live in Today...Break free from Yesterday and not step into Tomorrow...I can feel the sadness being lifted from my eyes and a new way of life approachin...	brightmommy	2	635	Mar 15, 2009 by hotrod
	The best gift that Al-anon gives (Preview) Someone said this in a meeting last week, and it's been so helpful to me... Well, I should have written it down because I'm sure I'm getting it wrong, but... Al-anon allows me to love the addicts in my life. Even if I have to block them from my life for awhile. Even if the rest of the world is saying "Ho...	gngcrzy	2	566	Mar 14, 2009 by LoveCC
	Thank God I found this site! (Preview) Hi all newbie here. I am so glad I found this site, the daily stress I go to is sometimes unbearable. My story starts out as a child, i had a lying, very manipulative mother who never showed love, and an alcohlic father. I grew up not knowing who I was and where I was going. I tried so hard to please my parents a...	ange777	5	363	Mar 14, 2009 by brightmommy
	Do you remember your "first time"? (Preview) I've heard it said that we never forget the "first time", and I would imagine that for most that probably rings true, but as I write this I wonder how many of us remember the "last time". My son and I have gotten in the habit lately, due to my ever increasing love of the world around m...	shellyj123	2	576	Mar 14, 2009 by brightmommy
	February - Step Two Revisited (Preview) So here it is February again already! And with that, time to revisit Step 2 and contemplate how, if I keep searching, I can continue growing...always new things to learn and discover! This past year I have spent getting to know my HP once again. Still in process of that, and probably will be so the rest of...	kismetstrand	2	637	Mar 14, 2009 by Roxie345
	I just had to share ........ (Preview) I am a Great-Auntie!!!!!! I am so excited. One of my very favorite nieces had a baby girl and her namesake is for my mother who died when I was only 26 years old with my own young babies. I know you all just won't believe that a 29 year-old could possibly be a Great Auntie, but tis true. Maria And here she is...	Maria123	12	700	Mar 14, 2009 by buick23
	Do I confront him or leave it alone? (Preview) My husband and I went to se his grandmother in a nursing home for the first time. she is really losing it. She has alzheimer's and not doing well at all. He then went to band practice and he got home at about 10:45 or so. I was asleep. I noticed that he had gotten in bed when I got up with the baby at 1am but w...	Shell44	9	719	Mar 14, 2009 by Karilynn
	Chatroom And Java Trouble (Preview) Hi All seems to many using java, access to the chatoom not possible, this is due to the java server being down If your experiencing any difficulties you can download mirc or do what was done last night and visit But1purpose room where we were able to continue with our meeting http://www.but1purpo...	belle1	0	408	Mar 14, 2009 by belle1
	Overcome (Preview) they called me to sub today, I missed the call but at least they called. Come to the chat room if you have time, I will be there, working on income taxes again today. Sure enjoy chatting with you.	Robinks	0	398	Mar 13, 2009 by Robinks
	Having to be the big B! (Preview) My ex A got out of prison last week and his mother has been harrassing me to let him see the kids, talk to the kids, etc. I don't really trust myself on this issue so I talked with all of my friends and family and they all say the same thing - why bring him back into their lives... I have enough problems without...	carolinagirl	4	529	Mar 13, 2009 by Tiger2006
	How do I move on? (Preview) Hi Everyone, This is my first time on this forum, and I'm not really sure if it's the right place for me, since my boyfriend is not only an alcoholic but also cross-addicted to several other drugs. I left him on Saturday and am feeling lonely, guilty and heartbroken. I suppose I just need to know that ot...	LonelyAmsterdam	14	1063	Mar 13, 2009 by LonelyAmsterdam
	another great movie which is all about dealing with the impossibilities of alcoholism (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aa-nY3TOhFk this is a fantastic film with Marcia Gay Harden and her real life daughter which is all about alcoholism and the effect on a family. Riveting stuff. I hope it makes it to television or a wide release. I know it helps me tremendously to see some aspect...	maresie	2	497	Mar 13, 2009 by ddub
	On forcing solutions? (Preview) What is this about? Can you write about what it means to force solutions, to you and what it looks like in your own life? What is your ESH re: forcing solutions? I am wondering more and more about this in myself. I think that for me, forcing solutions feels like controlling something but its also about...	Jean4444	11	2587	Mar 13, 2009 by cdb19
	help request (Preview) Hello to all, Thank you for being here, helping all of us to grow in this wonderful site. I live in the Phx metro area, as some of y'all know. We have had a serial rapist whose impregnated one of his victims, an eight / nine year old. I am imploring his angels to turn himself into the law. Your help is accepted...	getoverit	6	734	Mar 13, 2009 by cdb19
	"Connections" keep calling, what do I do? (Preview) I am very perplexed about this matter today. AH ck'd into rehab yesterday. No sooner had I turned his phone on, than he started getting calls from his connections. I have yet to answer. Part of me wants to make up this ellaborate lie that he is dead from bad drugs and the cops are looking for anyone associa...	angelchar375	11	606	Mar 12, 2009 by angelchar375
	My husband forbids me to go to an Al-Anon meeting (Preview) I am a 27yr old women with a 5 1/2 month old little girl. My husband is an A and I am suffering from the stress of it all including the stress from my own family. They see that he has a problem and complain to me about it. The catch here is that my husband Nd I live with my mother and step father so we can get on ou...	Shell44	33	3379	Mar 12, 2009 by Aloha
	Two years out (Preview) I am almost two years out from leaving the ex A. As many of you will know I left him but still continued to interact with him for the entire year. I am now almost one year out from having any contact at all with him. I believe I am barely scratching the surface of taking care of myself. I'm taking concrete...	maresie	4	702	Mar 12, 2009 by maresie
	Putting the past behind me (Preview) This morning I was on the way out (which is good since I've been in bed for a few days with allergies. Quite by chance I met an old boss of mine who I worked for 7 years ago. I greeted her warmly. She was very nice and encouraged me to get back in touch with her. I was happy for about 10 seconds then in popped a...	maresie	3	736	Mar 12, 2009 by canadianguy
	Seems so sorted, clear minded and decisive and understanding -driving me crazy (Preview) Hi, ive posted a few times here about my AH who has just left me, via phone call from abroad 6 weeks ago. He is in Uk now and weve talked on phone (nearly killed me) and emailed (very unloving but "kind" emails). He has organised himself to get what few things he wanted from house, cos I said I didn...	Lilly Burn	4	604	Mar 12, 2009 by canadianguy
	A newbie from sunny california (Preview) I currently live with my ABF. We have been together for over 2 years ( but dated also for less than a year over 10 years ago- long story alcohol was not involved at that time) We have lived together for little over a year now with my 2 kids from a prev marriage. ( 11 and 13) My ABF does not think he is an alcoholi...	wjwcalifgirl	11	544	Mar 12, 2009 by wjwcalifgirl
	To all My ESH'rs....Update.... (Preview) Ok well got up this morning did my prayers, read my books, sat with the HP and thru in my "Last" Text message to Abrother that read "If you did not contact Land Owner about water, call me ASAP... The Bill is Only going to go UP! Love ya", that was at 7am this morning... So I heard nothin...	Jozie	4	596	Mar 12, 2009 by Jerry F
	Being nice and warm with aH doesn't come naturally.... (Preview) Ah and I are separated. It has been on and off for about 2 years and sporadically we flirt with reconciliation, though it doesn't take long for the idea of that to be blasted into oblivion, once we spend a few days together. We do really well superficially. It seems a relationship without expectation...	Rora	10	1014	Mar 12, 2009 by maresie
	Newbie in Need (Preview) Frustrated that I can't get on the chat tonight. I was on the site earlier today (just found it today) and registered and all in anticipation of actually chatting with others that are feeling my pain and now I can't get on. I have an AH and am looking for lots of help in dealing with or not dealing with th...	Kerry	5	490	Mar 12, 2009 by abbyal
	Finding some serenity~ (Preview) After several days and to many questions:), I have finally found a bit of serenity in the situation that I was struggling so much with. I realized first and foremost that I was hungry (been working out more and dieting some), angry (at myself for not being able to see with open eyes), lonely, and tired (...	shellyj123	3	413	Mar 12, 2009 by maresie
	Expectations v/s Counting on Someone???????... (Preview) I'd like to thank everyone who responded to my other post from earlier today. I received a lot of great ESH, which is why this is the first place I run when I feel overwelmed or scared (I used to isolate tremendously and did so for years....right up until I decided to let the EXABF in to my life). Anyway I am...	shellyj123	3	975	Mar 12, 2009 by maresie
	Went to First f2f meeting last night. Now what? (Preview) I am new to Al-anon. I went to my first real meeting last night. I was late because I wasnt going to go, but I ended up changing my mind at the last minute and I went. Im very happy that I went, because it was so comforting to see that there are others out there who feel or once felt exactly like I am feeling now-l...	M's Mommy	5	531	Mar 12, 2009 by maresie
	In Need of ESH :( (Preview) Having need of some ESH.... Just to get started, most of you know that I have an Abrother that i have been trying to get in my Afather (pasted) trailor... Well I know I told ya's about the $600. water bill and blah blah blah... Well since I got the bill I have been trying to contact him, for over a week today.....	Jozie	5	484	Mar 12, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Thank You MIP (Preview) HI Everyone, My name is Betty and I am a grateful member of alanon for over 25 years but very new to the MIP Family. I posted a short time ago and seem to have lost the posting in cyberspace. I will try to recap what I attempted to say. Although I have been a member of alanon for over 25 years I firmly believe th...	hotrod	4	556	Mar 12, 2009 by Mariner
	Frozen River (Preview) Frozen river is a movie all about dealing with alcoholism (of course in a desperate dysfunctional crazy way). I could so relate to the charactors trying to hold it all together when everything had crashed. If you want to see how far you have come rent it and enjoy seeing the after effects of alcoholis...	maresie	2	451	Mar 12, 2009 by shellyj123
	Posting for first time... (Preview) I posted this on the ACOA forum also, but thought I would post here as well. I don't know if this is the place for me or not. I am an adult (30) and my mother is an alcoholic, but she did not fall into alcoholism until I was in my early 20s. She always drank, and I see now that her lifestyle was getting more and mo...	sirensong	8	877	Mar 11, 2009 by sirensong
	Where do I start? (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm the wife of an alocoholic. I've been with my husband for 11 years and we have a 7 year old daughter. I just spent a long time going through different threads and I'm confident I'm in the right place. I'm just scared. It feels like I'm taking the 1st step into a journey that I have NO clue w...	TheEnabler	14	999	Mar 11, 2009 by wjwcalifgirl
	Stop the rollercoaster! New (Preview) First off Hi to all, Alot to say ....Worth the read..... I am a mother of a 19 year old cancer kid drug addict and wife of a unproclaimed alcoholic. PHEW 2 years ago my son was dabbling in pot and I am sure other things...we had behavior problems and got him into a therapist...there are stories (night...	Appley	4	489	Mar 11, 2009 by maresie
	risk assessment (Preview) In work today I had health and safety training around risk assessment and lone working. The trainer said we have to explore the risk and dangers and take controlled mesures to protect ourselves and others. I related this to my relationship with the A. Risks and dangers. Wont get my needs met, achieve m...	Tracy	2	569	Mar 11, 2009 by maresie
	Boundaries v/s Projecting (Preview) I'm having a bit of a tough time figuring something out and thought perhaps I would bring it to my MIP family for some ESH. I have an upcoming date with my ExABF on the 20th of this month (so far I nor he has canceled it but I won't believe it 100% until we actually have the date). Anyway I feel that I need to set...	shellyj123	7	930	Mar 11, 2009 by Winddancer30
	surrender (Preview) I surrender I get it my life is a mess and I carnt do it. I am not the almighty. I carnt fix it all. I do believe in Hp always have but my will is so strong. I now get it I need to ask him all day every day what the next move should be he knows best (trust). I have been affected by a disease and need him more than ev...	Tracy	3	976	Mar 11, 2009 by shellyj123
	photo of nubile pole dancing argentinian pole dancer on my AH facebook (Preview) Well weve only just separated after 6 years of marriage, hes about to go back off to his life of riley in the west indies which is just waiting there for him to do this when he couldnt bear the pressure of coming home and going back to AA, which is what he said he would do before he went away in January. AND now i...	Lilly Burn	10	1234	Mar 11, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	If it hisses like a cat..... (Preview) it's a CAT!!!Hi ((((Family)))) I was reading the board just now and came across Karilynn's great post about the cat and dog analogy (comparison of cats/addicts and dogs/codependents). If you haven't read it check it out, it was posted on March 2nd. I just had to start laughing! I had a cat "incid...	david62	14	1051	Mar 10, 2009 by maresie
	Dealing with anger (Preview) Hi everyone, I have a question i thought i would bounce off my fellow alanon family to gain a better understanding for myself. My ABF is in treatment and has been making progress...so things are looking up. I have a question though on something they are teaching him. According to them it is ok to be ang...	inhisarms	7	850	Mar 10, 2009 by kitty
	Recovery coming first over friendship (Preview) Hello everyone I decided to post on the board where I'm at at the moment to get some things off my chest on an event that took place last week. I have completely lost a what I thought was a valued friend who I had a relationship with for 6months last year which ended in October last year. We kept the friendsh...	chezza	6	867	Mar 10, 2009 by chezza
	Is it against the rules to put a link in a message? (Preview) Hi everybody. I have recently written an article for newcomers about attending their very first al-anon meeting, and I'm wondering if it would be allowed for me to put a link to it on here. Thanks. Gran in Texas.	Goodgran	4	787	Mar 10, 2009 by Goodgran
	BIG PRAYERS NEEDED TODAY for Mastiff (Preview) ((((((((Family))))))))))), One of our very dearest old timers, Mastiff, needs all of our today. Her hubby had a heart attack this morning. Would you please all include her and him in your prayers today? in recovery, Maria	Maria123	14	904	Mar 10, 2009 by Christy
	how to cope after AH attemps suicide (Preview) He seemed to be getting better, on the right track... and then in the blink of an eye, literally, everything spiraled downward and he is hospitalized for consuming enough drugs to have caused an OD. The hand of God spared his life and now, after many emotions and many what do I do... am trying to understa...	angelchar375	7	1007	Mar 9, 2009 by angelchar375
	That was a lot of fun!! (Preview) Aloha Ohana (Family) The Family Groups are fun when they get together in service and support to do something that is positive and serves a recovery purpose. Service has its own rewards, for me fun and more growth. I know the serious side of all of the guys and gals in program here. When things get toug...	Jerry F	5	922	Mar 9, 2009 by Peggy7
	My Story (Preview) My story I grew up in an upper middle class family where both parents were alcoholics. Drinking and fighting and arguing was the only way I knew life to be. At an early age I took on things like cooking and cleaning so my mom could remain passed out and dad would not fuss when he got home. I rarely invited...	afglin	9	1017	Mar 9, 2009 by Peggy7
	Nothing but Gods Beauty... (Preview) I just wanted to share with you all what a wonderful weeknd I had... Friday night me & Sis in law went to our "Much Needed" F2f meeting, was great... with exception to the migrain I had thru out.. THink that was mostly the stress build up after Abrother last week, but lived and found my grou...	Jozie	5	866	Mar 9, 2009 by Peggy7
	Leaving without a backward glance (Preview) Ive just spoken to my sister and she says she is amazed that my AH is just leaving without a backward glance. Everything ive read suggests that its hard to lose an AH but this one seems to be well and truly on the run...hes got the chance to be far away and thats what he is doing, leaving our life, his business...	Lilly Burn	7	824	Mar 9, 2009 by maresie
	Staying on TOPIC! (Preview) I was informed that it is very important to stay on topic. I have so much trouble with this even after 23 years! Meetings with me get kinda strange sometimes because I go off on tangents and I am seeing that I do a lot on this forum. To anyone who is reading this: I am sorry for the terrible scattered brain...	Hoot Nanny	8	1090	Mar 9, 2009 by Mobirdie
	DETACHMENT (Preview) Leave an A up to their HP and start the bookmark of DETACHMENT for yourself. If you don't go to face to face meetings (first of all, GO!) , here is what is on that bookmark....I keep mine right in my wallet next to my money where I always know where it is! 1-don't suffer because of the action or reations o...	Diane B	5	3020	Mar 9, 2009 by Mobirdie
	mixed emotions (Preview) Just been to a x factor tour concert with my little girl I dont think I was even there. One minute the songs were making me miss the A. Next I was tellin myself I dont believe in love have to look after number one. Then beating myself up about stayin for four years. Then my programme kicked in I told mysel...	Tracy	5	555	Mar 9, 2009 by Loupiness
	When alanon is thrown in your face (Preview) Ok, so i have been doing my alanon program and really trying to let go let God. Things have been pretty good considering the Abf is in treatment and he has even said several time that he can see me changing and he is so proud of me and my program. So today we have an arguement and i said " i am not going to a...	inhisarms	10	950	Mar 8, 2009 by afglin
	HOW TO DEAL???? (Preview) I am a new member of Al-Anon. I've been twice to my local meeting place. I know this is a valuable place for me. I do not yet have a sponsor... I am trying to figure out my place in all of this. I AM NOT THE ALCOHOLIC. HE IS. After failing miserably once at trying to control his drinking (after attending my 1st...	rebeccaannh	6	1713	Mar 8, 2009 by Jerry F
	I finally ENJOYED my children! (Preview) I'm a newbie. So new, I don't even know the 12 steps, but just bought 4 books including the AA manual, Co-dependent no more, adult children of alcoholics and another Co-Dependent no more book. My A has been in meetings for 2.5 months and I'm not sure he took it seriously. Two nights ago, I started read...	Inpain	4	718	Mar 8, 2009 by M's Mommy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.