Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

shellyj123 · shellyj123

This weekend was good and bad, mostly good with a dash of bad sprinkled in:). I was dreding the weekend at first, because Mom's day was yet another day that EXABF and I started a "tradition" and I hated the idea of facing it this year without him. Last year he bought me a new Mt. Bike and he...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

So, yesterday I call my mom, and ask for my step father's brother's number because he has a mega truck and can help move me. Before I know it, mom is in her victim mode, about how she & I were working together, how she & I were supposed to collaborate, how she & I, she & I, she & I.... S...

Holly09 · Holly09

Happy Mother's Day to all you amazing moms!!!

mia883 · mia883

Few weeks ago I had an Alanon meeting using Skype. The conference call included people from Sweden, Japan, Australia, Ireland, Thailand, USA. Everyonee was sharing similar things about the disease of alcoholism. To me alcoholism is world wide and is a pandemic with serious consequences for every...

aunitedway · aunitedway

first i want to say there is a fantastic book called "Boundaries" by cloud /townsend you can find it at amazon new or used... or at a local half price books for pretty darn cheap $. :))) it helped me understand My situation better and how to apply boundaries in my relationship...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Well kind of a continuation from the other post I posted the other day.... Wasnt sure to start a new topic or continue, but well here I am... I posted about my husbands DUI court case and how he hasnt learned to stop drinking. Well Friday, hmmm he is sitting around all day with that LOOK on his face, the look...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Yesterday my hubby went to court for his DUI he got in March. Well first off let me give a short background, I have posted several times on here, but for those who dont know, my husband is a binge drinker and goes months on a dry spell and then slowly starts the cycle again. I have been dealing with this for th...

maresie · maresie

I think I've spent my entire life stewing in resentment. Lately I've had to suffer someone in my class who seethes with resentment day and night. He can't bear to see anyone live when he is so unhappy. I don't doubt he's an alcoholic as there are many signs there. I have to say I had no idea how hard it wa...

newday · newday

My a-bf and I have been broken up for 2 years and recently started seeing each other again. He's still an A...but I miss him. I decided to set boundaries. One being, our time together would not involve anyone else...ie...family, kids etc. Just us. This means...no sleeping on my couch after an evening o...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Have no idea what you all saw...I wrote in English and could only see English...thank you Tom for reformatting it... I would love to see what you were all seeing! I blame the atmospheric pressure changes between England and the USA...hahaha I have no idea how you saw GREEK? I cannot write Greek and I can...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My mom is very "unique" to me. I don't know if anyone has a similar experience with their moms but I have so much experience with the downside of my relationship with my mom. Unfortunately, sometimes I think she has been less-than what I wanted her to be. I guess in some ways she let me down. ...

Jozie · Jozie

Today I have been thinking about some things, some bother me & some I just don't really understand. But my thoughts brought me here about a week ago, and my gut told me one thing, while my heart told me another... Should have went with the gut I suppose... How is it, that you can literally give yoursel...

Jerry F · Jerry F

For all of you mothers young and beyond. If no one has told you they love you because you're special and have been loving and protective...let me be the one. And to my own mother who's spirit continues to grace my mind and memory, Mahalo Nui, Aloha. (((((hugs)))))

maire rua · maire rua

at present I am battling with myself to make right choice, to control my own journey and to stop creating situations which are not beneficial. I find that I go through these crazy infatuations where I create a fantasy land. I have to stop myself on this one as reality is where I want to be. I think now becau...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

Hey you guys I wrote my shrink and TOLD her that this was MY recovery and that things were going to go MY pace..MY comfort and MY needs..... Also re: honoring the male parent....I told her since she threw the bible at me, I told her to read Leviticus 18:29......"EVERYONE who does these detestable t...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

Life is never boring I wrote this REAL nice email to my shrink...Told her that this was MY recovery and the focus needed to be on ME and what was best for ME....NO ordering me and adding shame to my pain.... Anyway, she writes back and DENIED telling me to "honor my father"....she DENIED even t...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

I received a visit from the son I know and love, he came by to see me this past weekend after he had a falling out with his best friends and his major supplier of drugs. We sat across the kitchen table from each other and drank Coca-Cola and ate cookies (just like when he was little) we laughed and talked abo...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Believe it or not!!! things are going good!! My husband has been home 3 days now and we haven't argued even once. I almost got frustrated last night over something and I stopped myself from going there. I just said to myself.......look, if you go there you will make yourself miserable, so don't go the...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

So today I submitted all my letters to the board, to my boss, etc, etc I start packing this weekend Within the next two weeks, I meet with the board. Already questions are being raised about my resignation letter. I pointed out that somet of the activities that go on here are...less than legal. ...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Yes, it's true. I work my programme I walk the talk and then my health trips me up and I am vulnerable. Just when I was thinking that that dreadful virus-ridden-flu-infested air caught me out again and I have a raging temperature whilst I shiver 'cos my clothes are sticking to me from a temperature that i...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi All My exabf called me the other day. I hadnt heard from him in 10 days. He'd been back to his rehab for a visit and to do service work. Hadnt told anyone he was going just turned off his phone and went. He was full of good news over opportunities that had arisen, its great to hear him doing so well, I really...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Thank all of your for responding to my post yesterday. I received sooo much ESH that I felt completely blessed by it all. Alot of it applied to me and my situation, and after having thought a lot about it the past few days I have really been able to put some clarity on it and it has helped me to feel better...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am not with him because I love the man I can make him into, I'm with him because I love the man he is now.

Suzannah · Suzannah

That was my middle name, in fact it became my first name, middle name, and last name...in fact JADE was me...to an iota. ....that is... Until I changed my name and stopped - justifying (my every thought, word and deed) apologising (for the flash floods, the volcano eruptions, the toradoes, for breat...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Good Morning all ~ Not sure if this is an appropriate post, but I was wondering if there was a phone list of sorts for this forum? OR if there were any members willing to accept phone calls? Thank you in advance and please advise, if this is not the appropriate place to ask such questions.

mermaid88 · mermaid88

I am so fed up right now. I am so tired of getting angry at my AH (I don't know all the lingo yet). He is actually my AF (alcoholic fiance). I am tired of being ridiculed and manipulated. I am tired of hypocrisy and double standards. I was strong and happy before and during the first 2 years of our relatio...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband has missed his last two Intensive Out Patient Therapy appointments because he's been drunk (sorry, he claims that he's sick). I called the therapist who runs the treatment program and left a voicemail saying that the reason he has missed his last two sessions is because he's drinking aga...

funnyone · funnyone

My husband is the greatest Narcissist you would ever meet, complete with a gold medal in the blame game. I have spent most of the last decade trying to figure out if I was the object of his self hate or the dumping ground of his blame. His most recent 3 week binge landed him in rehab. He had spent $3800 on a...

tweety23 · tweety23

i am a newcomer, just starting out. i am scared of the warm weather!! for the last few years instead of looking forward to summer fun i find myself dreading the Bbq's, the patios, and all of that, because with my A it is tied into drinking opportunities. starting earlier in the day and on into the night.....

Jerry F · Jerry F

Someone or thing got past my active security program and messed with my home screen page. I did a reset with the hope that it didn't get past me to you while I was here responding to some post. It's a big sore point for me in the past and now "Only and test...do not reset your radio". ((((hugs)))...

Janne · Janne

Hello, I am new here and new to the idea that my husband may be a functioning alcoholic. Mainly, I am trying to figure out if he is or not. Would you mind giving me your opinions? Here's my story in a nutshell: My dh is an officer in the air force. We have been married for 10 years, and we have 2 small child...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok Long story ... And Sorry I don't do SHort :) About 2 weeks ago, I got a call from my Neice, "Asisters Daughter" , Telling me I was to get to her House NOW... (she lives 5 mins. away), she is but a drama queen, so I slowed her up and ask what was going on... Well my Lt. Sister, that was suppose to take...

cichlid6 · cichlid6

So here I am, I've gotten through all my steps, and Im done! lol, naw seriously, I will never be done, but there is something about "Done" that tells me I'm better then all those who aren't through them. I know what they need and such to get through it, and it's now more then ever that I need more h...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

For the most part I am doing well, much better than I have been in a long time, and for that I am grateful, but there is still one very big area that I am struggling with, and I feel that it is preventing me from moving on in my program/life, and that is.... Anger and forgiveness. I am still very angry with EXA...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Actually, I don't know that I simply THINK I have a bad attitude- I KNOW this. I consider myself a high strug person to begin with, so I'm not sure that the field/job I am in is the correct one for someone who is easily stressed. Most of the time I find my job exhausting. I must manage alot of different thing...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

i posted a thread. ("tough question") ..i was triggered by my SHRINK...and the AWESOME points i got was totally incredible.....EVERY ONE of you had something soooo valuable for me to contemplate.... I just want to thank ALL of you for helping me.....i SOOO want to heal....I SOOO want to...

peacewithin · peacewithin

Turning it over to your HP ! Its been working for me all week. I just had the break through where I could not handle the craziness with my son and AH. I turn it over every day I wake up. and it feels like a load off my back. I love it. Like the 3 C i remind myself of them daily when the feeling starts to build with my c...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

Hi guys as you know i am in therapy and this therapist TOLD me i had to "honor thy father and thy mother".. my father never ever made amends for sexually abusing me my entire teen years...he died, thinking he was "ok" with everything.....he was a sociopath.....never felt sorrow...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I feel so beaten down, defeated. No matter what I do or say I'm wrong. I'm trying to not put myself in positions to argue with my A-bf, who is a dry drunk. I'm never sure who I'm going to talk to. One day he tells me to deal with my problems b/c they are mine and then when he calls and I tell him I need some sp...

hotrod · hotrod

Good Morning to mu MIP Family, Today is the 2nd Anniversary of my son's passing. He relapsed after 12 years of soberity and could/would not recover. The last two years of his life I lived with him in his home and did all I could to keep the focus on myself while letting the disease run its coarse. I alwa...

Jozie · Jozie

Hi there MIP family I have always tried to work in my expectations of life, but mostly family..lol... When I would visit my "Now Deseased" Afather I would say a little chant, kinda like my own little serenity prayer before I knew it existed...lol.. and it was "Ok when I get to Adad's I wi...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Messages are coming from a new angle now...and the problem is I dont get chance to build or re-group, before he does something to upset me again. Just any contact gets to me. My sis wasnt sure what to do with this, poor thing, they always drag everyone into it. I just heard Lilly has not been well. I know she...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hello my dear family, it is a while since I checked in here. Some of you will not know me at all, some of you will remember me as the new 'gal' on the block and some of you might even have missed me. To one and all, I say, it's good to be back in the embrace of the family. I have had sooooooooo much stuff going on......

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I went to my first AlAnon meeting when I was married to abusive/Active/dry drunk EXAH-I never went back, why I'm not sure but I think because I wanted a quick fix for EXAH that I didn't get. My second meeting,about a year later, was after he and I split up-I never went back-I figured no A=No problem-I di...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

### ROSIE NOTE_______I was so needy the "getting love" was my thing....after disappointment after disappointment, i decided, "why not love myself??? love my HP???? and let the rest take care of it self, by SHARING me with others????"....this is changing me from being so nee...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Had a moment of weakness yesterday and of course I ran to my sponsor with my tail placed firmly between my legs:) My sponsor thinks a lot of times that she causes me pain and hurt at times by her responses, and sometimes they do sting. NOT because of WHAT she says or HOW she says it but because she is rig...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

I come and visit here every chance I get, reading all our situations, which are all different but so painfully the same, I think about you all during the day and how brave, caring you are. The energy it takes to function in the environment that we find ourselves in, the love it takes to "walk the line...

clara · clara

We went to Houston for grandaughter's first communion. Was a great celebration. I did not tell AD that we were going; eventhough it was on her birthday. I cannot be in two places at one time and we felt it was much more important to be for the first commuion celebration. And yes, it was precious!!!! I...

ChrissyPooh · ChrissyPooh

Since my AH has been sober he has been relying on sleeping pills to go to sleep at night every night. Before I started the program and started learning about the isms of A he told me that he needed the pills to get to sleep at night. I allowed it to go on and continued to buy them for them knowing that I shouldn...

Gailey · Gailey

My A son relapsed Saturday a week ago and got a dui. I am pretty sure he is still using something but don't know what. I think he needs an inpatient treatment this time. I told him that this morning and he will deny until the cows come home. I know better. I can tell in his voice over the phone when he is doing so...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello family! It's been quite some time since I have posted. Things in my life have improved so much, ...mostly because I learned to just take control of ME! I have been working my own program and not worrying about what anyone else is doing. Abf has been working his own program in his own way...I dont...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

Hi All, Been involved with my bf for three months now. He doesn't go to meetings or call his sponsor..so I can't even say he is "in" recovery. I will say that I feel that I am dealing with a dry drunk. I have determined to detach from his attitudes and behaviors and sometimes its hit and sometime...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Okay, for the first time since November, I had my 7 days of much liked solitude. (hubby went offshore) Well, he is coming home tomorrow. I am a little nervous. I am trying to not have any expectations or projections of this or that. It is our anniversary tomorrow. Amazing we've been married for 7 yea...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear all, haven't posted in a while but have been reading posts which has helped at this present time. Youngest son has started smoking and acting out at school, I need to go in this wednesday to meet the teacher on same. He was absolutely a horror at home but I have been trying to use my alanon tools to get t...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well the past week has been very enlightening for me in sooo many areas, that I felt I should come and share, as so many of you helped to get me where I am right now. Today I feel awesome and so content. I've given my program a lot of thought the past week, and decided that I have to make some chan...

tweety23 · tweety23

Do you think it is a good idea to attend f2f meetings with friends you know from outside of al-anon (i was going to say from "real life" but that doesn't make sense...lol). I've found out that someone i know is looking to go to f2f meetings but i am not sure if I feel comfortable with the idea of &...

maresie · maresie

I am about to embark on one of my goals, namely getting some of the dental treatment I need. I start next week. I realize I don't really know how to manage several small goals at once. I get lost in the shoulda coulda woulda's. I'm trying to work on summer goals and what I come up with is ridiculous or I get do...

Inpain · Inpain

Today's message in ODAT is beautiful if anyone has it. It really made me think of all that IS GOOD in my life. I went to a new F2F yesterday. Completely awkward going in...went in wrong room and introduced myself to a group that had NOTHING to do with al-anon!!! GULP. So, I collected myself and stoppe...

clara · clara

As in previous post from me, you guys know Daughter was in rehab. She went for 4 weeks. She can now go once a week for a year for "after care" When I spoke to her on phone Sunday night and again on Monday morning, she was fine. I could hear it in her voice. However, by Monday afternoon, I could h...

M's Mommy · M's Mommy

Hi everyone. I am fairly new to Al-anon. I have posted on here a few times and done some online meetings. I only went to one f2f meeting and I didnt feel comfortable at all. I am in my early 20's and everyone was older, I just feel like I couldnt relate to anyone. I have some daily reader books and I lurk on here...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Wanting to let go but still find myself holding on a little at times....Trying to understand EXABF's motivation. (Preview) This weekend was good and bad, mostly good with a dash of bad sprinkled in:). I was dreding the weekend at first, because Mom's day was yet another day that EXABF and I started a "tradition" and I hated the idea of facing it this year without him. Last year he bought me a new Mt. Bike and he...	shellyj123	6	521	May 11, 2009 by Mariner
	Mother's day and moving disasters... (Preview) So, yesterday I call my mom, and ask for my step father's brother's number because he has a mega truck and can help move me. Before I know it, mom is in her victim mode, about how she & I were working together, how she & I were supposed to collaborate, how she & I, she & I, she & I.... S...	Tiger2006	8	495	May 10, 2009 by Jean4444
	Mother's Day (Preview) Happy Mother's Day to all you amazing moms!!!	Holly09	1	527	May 10, 2009 by Jozie
	Having an Alanon Skype meeting , I realised alcoholism is a WWW pandemic? (Preview) Few weeks ago I had an Alanon meeting using Skype. The conference call included people from Sweden, Japan, Australia, Ireland, Thailand, USA. Everyonee was sharing similar things about the disease of alcoholism. To me alcoholism is world wide and is a pandemic with serious consequences for every...	mia883	4	981	May 10, 2009 by mia883
	Boundaries... Detachment. (Preview) first i want to say there is a fantastic book called "Boundaries" by cloud /townsend you can find it at amazon new or used... or at a local half price books for pretty darn cheap $. :))) it helped me understand My situation better and how to apply boundaries in my relationship...	aunitedway	3	688	May 10, 2009 by beths
	I cannot believe I did this. What was I thinking. (Preview) Well kind of a continuation from the other post I posted the other day.... Wasnt sure to start a new topic or continue, but well here I am... I posted about my husbands DUI court case and how he hasnt learned to stop drinking. Well Friday, hmmm he is sitting around all day with that LOOK on his face, the look...	princessloretta	4	872	May 10, 2009 by maire rua
	Hubby went to court for DUI, ( kinda long, sorry, really need to vent) (Preview) Yesterday my hubby went to court for his DUI he got in March. Well first off let me give a short background, I have posted several times on here, but for those who dont know, my husband is a binge drinker and goes months on a dry spell and then slowly starts the cycle again. I have been dealing with this for th...	princessloretta	9	1469	May 10, 2009 by princessloretta
	Stewing in resentment. (Preview) I think I've spent my entire life stewing in resentment. Lately I've had to suffer someone in my class who seethes with resentment day and night. He can't bear to see anyone live when he is so unhappy. I don't doubt he's an alcoholic as there are many signs there. I have to say I had no idea how hard it wa...	maresie	10	474	May 10, 2009 by leigha
	A's do not understand boundaries (Preview) My a-bf and I have been broken up for 2 years and recently started seeing each other again. He's still an A...but I miss him. I decided to set boundaries. One being, our time together would not involve anyone else...ie...family, kids etc. Just us. This means...no sleeping on my couch after an evening o...	newday	7	1038	May 10, 2009 by rosielightshines
	My Apologies ...still no idea what you all saw... I was writing in ENGLISH as usual. LOL (Preview) Have no idea what you all saw...I wrote in English and could only see English...thank you Tom for reformatting it... I would love to see what you were all seeing! I blame the atmospheric pressure changes between England and the USA...hahaha I have no idea how you saw GREEK? I cannot write Greek and I can...	Suzannah	4	570	May 10, 2009 by chezza
	A little about my mom (Preview) My mom is very "unique" to me. I don't know if anyone has a similar experience with their moms but I have so much experience with the downside of my relationship with my mom. Unfortunately, sometimes I think she has been less-than what I wanted her to be. I guess in some ways she let me down. ...	Hoot Nanny	1	611	May 9, 2009 by Rora
	Honesty... Hummmm (Preview) Today I have been thinking about some things, some bother me & some I just don't really understand. But my thoughts brought me here about a week ago, and my gut told me one thing, while my heart told me another... Should have went with the gut I suppose... How is it, that you can literally give yoursel...	Jozie	7	773	May 9, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Happy Mothers' Day (Preview) For all of you mothers young and beyond. If no one has told you they love you because you're special and have been loving and protective...let me be the one. And to my own mother who's spirit continues to grace my mind and memory, Mahalo Nui, Aloha. (((((hugs)))))	Jerry F	10	693	May 9, 2009 by rosielightshines
	right choices (Preview) at present I am battling with myself to make right choice, to control my own journey and to stop creating situations which are not beneficial. I find that I go through these crazy infatuations where I create a fantasy land. I have to stop myself on this one as reality is where I want to be. I think now becau...	maire rua	3	672	May 9, 2009 by rosielightshines
	I wrote my Shrink (Preview) Hey you guys I wrote my shrink and TOLD her that this was MY recovery and that things were going to go MY pace..MY comfort and MY needs..... Also re: honoring the male parent....I told her since she threw the bible at me, I told her to read Leviticus 18:29......"EVERYONE who does these detestable t...	rosielightshines	3	566	May 9, 2009 by rosielightshines
	LOLOL my shrink denied it and dumped me!!! (Preview) Life is never boring I wrote this REAL nice email to my shrink...Told her that this was MY recovery and the focus needed to be on ME and what was best for ME....NO ordering me and adding shame to my pain.... Anyway, she writes back and DENIED telling me to "honor my father"....she DENIED even t...	rosielightshines	6	1469	May 9, 2009 by Dave Harm
	Addiction Is Cruel (Just In Case You Didn't Know)............ (Preview) I received a visit from the son I know and love, he came by to see me this past weekend after he had a falling out with his best friends and his major supplier of drugs. We sat across the kitchen table from each other and drank Coca-Cola and ate cookies (just like when he was little) we laughed and talked abo...	DreamsOver	4	489	May 9, 2009 by Sincerely
	Amazing! (Preview) Believe it or not!!! things are going good!! My husband has been home 3 days now and we haven't argued even once. I almost got frustrated last night over something and I stopped myself from going there. I just said to myself.......look, if you go there you will make yourself miserable, so don't go the...	Sincerely	4	680	May 9, 2009 by kitty
	The countdown begins (Preview) So today I submitted all my letters to the board, to my boss, etc, etc I start packing this weekend Within the next two weeks, I meet with the board. Already questions are being raised about my resignation letter. I pointed out that somet of the activities that go on here are...less than legal. ...	Tiger2006	6	690	May 9, 2009 by Maria123
	Realising that where-ever I am on my recovery road...I still remain vulernable at times that I least expect it... (Preview) Yes, it's true. I work my programme I walk the talk and then my health trips me up and I am vulnerable. Just when I was thinking that that dreadful virus-ridden-flu-infested air caught me out again and I have a raging temperature whilst I shiver 'cos my clothes are sticking to me from a temperature that i...	Suzannah	3	1025	May 8, 2009 by DreamsOver
	I dont know best (Preview) Hi All My exabf called me the other day. I hadnt heard from him in 10 days. He'd been back to his rehab for a visit and to do service work. Hadnt told anyone he was going just turned off his phone and went. He was full of good news over opportunities that had arisen, its great to hear him doing so well, I really...	Mariner	7	509	May 8, 2009 by rosielightshines
	New found clarity today~Feel like a weight was lifted~ (Preview) Thank all of your for responding to my post yesterday. I received sooo much ESH that I felt completely blessed by it all. Alot of it applied to me and my situation, and after having thought a lot about it the past few days I have really been able to put some clarity on it and it has helped me to feel better...	shellyj123	2	652	May 8, 2009 by rosielightshines
	I have to remember. (Preview) I am not with him because I love the man I can make him into, I'm with him because I love the man he is now.	carolinagirl	3	500	May 8, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Justify apologise defend explain = J A D E =who? (Preview) That was my middle name, in fact it became my first name, middle name, and last name...in fact JADE was me...to an iota. ....that is... Until I changed my name and stopped - justifying (my every thought, word and deed) apologising (for the flash floods, the volcano eruptions, the toradoes, for breat...	Suzannah	13	2909	May 8, 2009 by Lanchas
	PHONE LIST/MEMBERS WILLING TO ACCEPT PHONE CALLS (Preview) Good Morning all ~ Not sure if this is an appropriate post, but I was wondering if there was a phone list of sorts for this forum? OR if there were any members willing to accept phone calls? Thank you in advance and please advise, if this is not the appropriate place to ask such questions.	RunnerChick	6	868	May 8, 2009 by RunnerChick
	I want to leave... (Preview) I am so fed up right now. I am so tired of getting angry at my AH (I don't know all the lingo yet). He is actually my AF (alcoholic fiance). I am tired of being ridiculed and manipulated. I am tired of hypocrisy and double standards. I was strong and happy before and during the first 2 years of our relatio...	mermaid88	10	532	May 8, 2009 by JaneG
	Did Something I Probably Shouldn't Have (Preview) My husband has missed his last two Intensive Out Patient Therapy appointments because he's been drunk (sorry, he claims that he's sick). I called the therapist who runs the treatment program and left a voicemail saying that the reason he has missed his last two sessions is because he's drinking aga...	N8SMOM	6	575	May 8, 2009 by stariana
	Hiding in the Program (Preview) My husband is the greatest Narcissist you would ever meet, complete with a gold medal in the blame game. I have spent most of the last decade trying to figure out if I was the object of his self hate or the dumping ground of his blame. His most recent 3 week binge landed him in rehab. He had spent $3800 on a...	funnyone	11	540	May 8, 2009 by kitty
	scared of summer :( (Preview) i am a newcomer, just starting out. i am scared of the warm weather!! for the last few years instead of looking forward to summer fun i find myself dreading the Bbq's, the patios, and all of that, because with my A it is tied into drinking opportunities. starting earlier in the day and on into the night.....	tweety23	6	448	May 8, 2009 by kitty
	keep and eye open (Preview) Someone or thing got past my active security program and messed with my home screen page. I did a reset with the hope that it didn't get past me to you while I was here responding to some post. It's a big sore point for me in the past and now "Only and test...do not reset your radio". ((((hugs)))...	Jerry F	0	452	May 8, 2009 by Jerry F
	Military family - is my DH a funtioning alcoholic? (Preview) Hello, I am new here and new to the idea that my husband may be a functioning alcoholic. Mainly, I am trying to figure out if he is or not. Would you mind giving me your opinions? Here's my story in a nutshell: My dh is an officer in the air force. We have been married for 10 years, and we have 2 small child...	Janne	5	3603	May 7, 2009 by Janne
	Family Arghhhhhh (Preview) Ok Long story ... And Sorry I don't do SHort :) About 2 weeks ago, I got a call from my Neice, "Asisters Daughter" , Telling me I was to get to her House NOW... (she lives 5 mins. away), she is but a drama queen, so I slowed her up and ask what was going on... Well my Lt. Sister, that was suppose to take...	Jozie	7	528	May 7, 2009 by Jerry F
	PROGRAM PRIDE (Preview) So here I am, I've gotten through all my steps, and Im done! lol, naw seriously, I will never be done, but there is something about "Done" that tells me I'm better then all those who aren't through them. I know what they need and such to get through it, and it's now more then ever that I need more h...	cichlid6	5	552	May 7, 2009 by cichlid6
	Wanting sooo bad to move forward and feeling so completely stuck~In need of some ESH~ (Preview) For the most part I am doing well, much better than I have been in a long time, and for that I am grateful, but there is still one very big area that I am struggling with, and I feel that it is preventing me from moving on in my program/life, and that is.... Anger and forgiveness. I am still very angry with EXA...	shellyj123	8	753	May 7, 2009 by Christy
	I think I have a bad attitude (Preview) Actually, I don't know that I simply THINK I have a bad attitude- I KNOW this. I consider myself a high strug person to begin with, so I'm not sure that the field/job I am in is the correct one for someone who is easily stressed. Most of the time I find my job exhausting. I must manage alot of different thing...	RunnerChick	6	484	May 7, 2009 by kitty
	this board ROCKS!!! (Preview) i posted a thread. ("tough question") ..i was triggered by my SHRINK...and the AWESOME points i got was totally incredible.....EVERY ONE of you had something soooo valuable for me to contemplate.... I just want to thank ALL of you for helping me.....i SOOO want to heal....I SOOO want to...	rosielightshines	8	507	May 7, 2009 by Robinks
	3rd step is working (Preview) Turning it over to your HP ! Its been working for me all week. I just had the break through where I could not handle the craziness with my son and AH. I turn it over every day I wake up. and it feels like a load off my back. I love it. Like the 3 C i remind myself of them daily when the feeling starts to build with my c...	peacewithin	4	410	May 7, 2009 by rosielightshines
	I have a REAL tough question (Preview) Hi guys as you know i am in therapy and this therapist TOLD me i had to "honor thy father and thy mother".. my father never ever made amends for sexually abusing me my entire teen years...he died, thinking he was "ok" with everything.....he was a sociopath.....never felt sorrow...	rosielightshines	30	673	May 7, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Am I awful for being on the edge of giving up? (Preview) I feel so beaten down, defeated. No matter what I do or say I'm wrong. I'm trying to not put myself in positions to argue with my A-bf, who is a dry drunk. I'm never sure who I'm going to talk to. One day he tells me to deal with my problems b/c they are mine and then when he calls and I tell him I need some sp...	lizzakiss	8	1515	May 7, 2009 by lizzakiss
	Why I Am Grateful to AlAnon (Preview) Good Morning to mu MIP Family, Today is the 2nd Anniversary of my son's passing. He relapsed after 12 years of soberity and could/would not recover. The last two years of his life I lived with him in his home and did all I could to keep the focus on myself while letting the disease run its coarse. I alwa...	hotrod	10	1908	May 7, 2009 by Loupiness
	Rejoycing in Expectations (Preview) Hi there MIP family I have always tried to work in my expectations of life, but mostly family..lol... When I would visit my "Now Deseased" Afather I would say a little chant, kinda like my own little serenity prayer before I knew it existed...lol.. and it was "Ok when I get to Adad's I wi...	Jozie	7	461	May 7, 2009 by kitty
	When will he give up on this pointless contact (Preview) Messages are coming from a new angle now...and the problem is I dont get chance to build or re-group, before he does something to upset me again. Just any contact gets to me. My sis wasnt sure what to do with this, poor thing, they always drag everyone into it. I just heard Lilly has not been well. I know she...	Lilly Burn	13	623	May 7, 2009 by Suzannah
	Reminding me that I matter...and much more to the point...YOU ALL MATTER to me :-D x (Preview) Hello my dear family, it is a while since I checked in here. Some of you will not know me at all, some of you will remember me as the new 'gal' on the block and some of you might even have missed me. To one and all, I say, it's good to be back in the embrace of the family. I have had sooooooooo much stuff going on......	Suzannah	11	547	May 7, 2009 by Mariner
	Survey Question for my MIP family... (Preview) I went to my first AlAnon meeting when I was married to abusive/Active/dry drunk EXAH-I never went back, why I'm not sure but I think because I wanted a quick fix for EXAH that I didn't get. My second meeting,about a year later, was after he and I split up-I never went back-I figured no A=No problem-I di...	shellyj123	12	528	May 7, 2009 by ThisIsBlythe
	Getting love....Being Loving.....WHICH???? (Preview) ### ROSIE NOTE_______I was so needy the "getting love" was my thing....after disappointment after disappointment, i decided, "why not love myself??? love my HP???? and let the rest take care of it self, by SHARING me with others????"....this is changing me from being so nee...	rosielightshines	3	460	May 6, 2009 by blender_girl
	I absolutely LOVE my sponsor, and my HP never ceases to amaze me! (Preview) Had a moment of weakness yesterday and of course I ran to my sponsor with my tail placed firmly between my legs:) My sponsor thinks a lot of times that she causes me pain and hurt at times by her responses, and sometimes they do sting. NOT because of WHAT she says or HOW she says it but because she is rig...	shellyj123	4	439	May 6, 2009 by Jozie
	Thinking of You All..... (Preview) I come and visit here every chance I get, reading all our situations, which are all different but so painfully the same, I think about you all during the day and how brave, caring you are. The energy it takes to function in the environment that we find ourselves in, the love it takes to "walk the line...	DreamsOver	4	670	May 6, 2009 by hotrod
	I have nothing more emotionally I can give to daughter (Preview) We went to Houston for grandaughter's first communion. Was a great celebration. I did not tell AD that we were going; eventhough it was on her birthday. I cannot be in two places at one time and we felt it was much more important to be for the first commuion celebration. And yes, it was precious!!!! I...	clara	8	1048	May 6, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Husband using son for sleeping pills (Preview) Since my AH has been sober he has been relying on sleeping pills to go to sleep at night every night. Before I started the program and started learning about the isms of A he told me that he needed the pills to get to sleep at night. I allowed it to go on and continued to buy them for them knowing that I shouldn...	ChrissyPooh	10	979	May 6, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	not in a good place (Preview) My A son relapsed Saturday a week ago and got a dui. I am pretty sure he is still using something but don't know what. I think he needs an inpatient treatment this time. I told him that this morning and he will deny until the cows come home. I know better. I can tell in his voice over the phone when he is doing so...	Gailey	8	1001	May 6, 2009 by Rita G
	It's been a while.. (Preview) Hello family! It's been quite some time since I have posted. Things in my life have improved so much, ...mostly because I learned to just take control of ME! I have been working my own program and not worrying about what anyone else is doing. Abf has been working his own program in his own way...I dont...	liljeannie	5	746	May 6, 2009 by liljeannie
	Dry Drunk Detachment.. Getting Better at It (Preview) Hi All, Been involved with my bf for three months now. He doesn't go to meetings or call his sponsor..so I can't even say he is "in" recovery. I will say that I feel that I am dealing with a dry drunk. I have determined to detach from his attitudes and behaviors and sometimes its hit and sometime...	Saved By Grace	5	1432	May 6, 2009 by maresie
	Solitude Over (Preview) Okay, for the first time since November, I had my 7 days of much liked solitude. (hubby went offshore) Well, he is coming home tomorrow. I am a little nervous. I am trying to not have any expectations or projections of this or that. It is our anniversary tomorrow. Amazing we've been married for 7 yea...	Sincerely	5	396	May 6, 2009 by glad lee
	Problems with youngest son (Preview) Dear all, haven't posted in a while but have been reading posts which has helped at this present time. Youngest son has started smoking and acting out at school, I need to go in this wednesday to meet the teacher on same. He was absolutely a horror at home but I have been trying to use my alanon tools to get t...	maire rua	5	698	May 6, 2009 by maire rua
	Today is a gift~not a given! it TRULY does work if we work it:) (Preview) Well the past week has been very enlightening for me in sooo many areas, that I felt I should come and share, as so many of you helped to get me where I am right now. Today I feel awesome and so content. I've given my program a lot of thought the past week, and decided that I have to make some chan...	shellyj123	8	485	May 6, 2009 by Gailey
	A question about f2f meetings (Preview) Do you think it is a good idea to attend f2f meetings with friends you know from outside of al-anon (i was going to say from "real life" but that doesn't make sense...lol). I've found out that someone i know is looking to go to f2f meetings but i am not sure if I feel comfortable with the idea of &...	tweety23	4	626	May 6, 2009 by abbyal
	setting new goals. (Preview) I am about to embark on one of my goals, namely getting some of the dental treatment I need. I start next week. I realize I don't really know how to manage several small goals at once. I get lost in the shoulda coulda woulda's. I'm trying to work on summer goals and what I come up with is ridiculous or I get do...	maresie	5	794	May 5, 2009 by maresie
	ODAT today. 5/5/09 (Preview) Today's message in ODAT is beautiful if anyone has it. It really made me think of all that IS GOOD in my life. I went to a new F2F yesterday. Completely awkward going in...went in wrong room and introduced myself to a group that had NOTHING to do with al-anon!!! GULP. So, I collected myself and stoppe...	Inpain	8	491	May 5, 2009 by N8SMOM
	Pretty sure she is drinking again (Preview) As in previous post from me, you guys know Daughter was in rehab. She went for 4 weeks. She can now go once a week for a year for "after care" When I spoke to her on phone Sunday night and again on Monday morning, she was fine. I could hear it in her voice. However, by Monday afternoon, I could h...	clara	6	570	May 5, 2009 by Karilynn
	Dont know what to do (Preview) Hi everyone. I am fairly new to Al-anon. I have posted on here a few times and done some online meetings. I only went to one f2f meeting and I didnt feel comfortable at all. I am in my early 20's and everyone was older, I just feel like I couldnt relate to anyone. I have some daily reader books and I lurk on here...	M's Mommy	11	626	May 5, 2009 by wp
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.