Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Inpain · Inpain

I'm slowly learning how I enable my dry drunk, to control me. He does it with ease and I need to stop. I need to stop running his calendar, and doing his business for him. I do step in from time to time still. Mainly when it affects my bottom line. I'm learning NOT to do this. It's not just my husband. I j...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, A-Father has asked me and initially i said i would take over step mother who is now dead, car and insure him as a named driver. I have checked this out and am not prepared to do same as if he has any problems, and he does he is eighty not declaring same however he got away with that, and it would affect...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Ever since my husband's Mother's Day stunt (which seems like days ago, but it was only yesterday), my son and I have been staying at my parents' condo. It's pretty nice here - everything is so clean, it doesn't smell of booze or pets, and the condo complex has a nice pool with a hot tub (it's like a mini v...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello Everyone! I've always searched 'monster' to find out what jobs are open in my profession around the state. Just to know what is happening. I've never applied for any until recently. I love my current job and I am pretty satisfied with my salary. BUT...a position was advertised by our main c...

JaneG · JaneG

Oh, sit back, it turned out to be a long one.... I feel like I am at a fork in the road. I left my AH 2 1/2 months ago. Things have been up and down. He is a recovering alcoholic and addict. Sober/dry for a year (relapsed a couple times recently). I took him out for his birthday. He said that he was ok with me havi...

clara · clara

First of all, thank you, thank you for all your prayers for my sweet Bonnie Lou(my Beagle). She seems to be a whole lot better. Not completely out of the woods, but not coughing so much. Praise God and all of you with your wonderful messages of concern. There is nothing like the love of a dear pet. And w...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, It has been a long while since I have posted, just recently I have rejoined the human race. It feels wonderful, I just woke up on day and I could see life clearly for the first time in a very long long time and it feels great. It's been almost two years since Chuck ( my husband) has passed. I s...

tcia · tcia

I am so very new to this. I did attend some al-anon meetings what seems like it must be 20 years ago, but I have no idea what EHS is, etc. anyway... please understand how very much i love my mum, but her alcoholism is toxic for me. I live about 20 minutes from her and try to see her every sunday. EVERY time i se...

maresie · maresie

Every year on my birthday I craved that the A take notice and do something for me. One year he got drunk and took his friend out. I refused to go out with him when he was drunk. The next day he hosted a mother's day special for his mother and I went to it. That was some of the beginning of my detachment. I realis...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I was just wondering if you all would share a few things you learned in Alanon you liked best and have helped you work your program! Here are my couple: Trust HP (still working on it though) No or low expectations for A's or anyone for that matter Mind my own business and worry about ME and no one else!

MissyPoo · MissyPoo

So hubby is now into week 4 of trying to live a new life without alcohol. He started off really great after detox (going to AA 2 times a week, repeating the slogans etc..). I was encouraged, but kept in the back of my mind "Hope for the best, plan for the worst". So this weekend he decides to d...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

Hi All, This is the sequel to my original post from about two weeks or so ago. My bf eventually came around to talk. He told me that he realized that he really hurt me and didn't treat me right and he also realized that he let my son down (as he promised my son that he would not hurt me). He told me that he felt hor...

chefkim · chefkim

My husband is in a treatment institution for substance abuse, I don't know what to say or do for him I feel really selfish Like its his fault for being there what SHould I say or do for him?I want to be supportive but this is my first time at this any help or encouragement or friendly support would be accecpt...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I've only been here about 5 months, have a WONDERFUL sponsor, went to one f2f meeting and can see progress in ME! My A is also a sex addict and I think at his worse right now. People keep telling me Oh I saw him at this bar with this person...I do't even care. I know he is sleeping with 3 other people and you know...

mia883 · mia883

We are looking for cheap Alanon books. Does anyone know where to purchase some cheap books with little transport expenses. These alanon books can be used or new, but must be cheap for purchase and transport? Mia

abbyal · abbyal

We are fortunate enough to have a 50 +yrs in program old timmer in our meeting who told this little joke the other nite So for moms who are homemakers with little ones this just might work for you, wish I had thought of this when I was alot younger. A young woman with 3 small children made sure that the home...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Our family tradition on Mother's Day during our married years was to work in the yard. It was what I wanted, and a day that I could expect everyone to pitch in and help, and not feel the slightest bit guilty about it This year my exAH asked if he could have the kids for a while on Sat to prepare for Sun. I let the...

farmgirlmay · farmgirlmay

My AH and I have been separated about 8 weeks. He moved out after he believed he was sober and stopped going to AA as soon as he moved out. His sister who is 11 years younger LOVES being able to control him and spend all his time with her. They have NEVER been close in fact she is her parents biological child...

Karilynn · Karilynn

This is a reprint of a post I did several years ago for my Mom (Toni as she was called) on Mother's Day. For all my Alanon Moms. I love you all. Mom, Even though we can't be together because God called you home when I was only 19, I wanted to thank you for still being there for me. Your life was far from perfect,...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

So...Scared. But ok. I got a job. In topeka. I'm moving. Again Yes. I'm scared. I'm scared of alot of things. But God bless america. I'm not dead yet. I'm not dead yet. I need y'all to remind me that I have the strength to do this again. Y'all got me through moving to KY. Things are different. My mom's fam...

debilyn · debilyn

I have not dated or even talked to any man since my AH. I have been alone for years now. So I go on this JW match site. sigh. NOT me to do this as you guys well know. I am in no way knowledgeable how to do this. I have always been persude. Did I spell that right? OK Chased. Being on my mountain the chances of meeting...

clara · clara

Our sweet Beagle, Bonnie Lou is very sick and probably will not be with us much longer. She is 12 years old; has congestive heart failure and now has bronchitus. Took her to the vet this morning and spent a ton of money(I would spend my last dime) for her meds. She is coughing and coughing. Yes, dogs c...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Hey y'all, I'm doing ok. Y'all made a huge difference yesterday. I need to add a PS to yesterday: So my stepfather called Su afternoon and mediates. he agrees that it's my life, my move, etc. He suggests that I'm stressed ( duh) and when I get stressed I get a little dictatorial (ok, I can get that) and t...

cidiera · cidiera

I am the daughter of an alcoholic. My boyfriend is also, in my definition, an alcoholic. I have noticed that in the past year, I might also be an alcoholic. However, when I went to an alanon meeting, I could relate to everything they were saying about the frustrations and the effects that growing up in an...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Thanks to everyone who responded to my last post, where EXABF sent me the Mom's day card. I realize that I do not need to know WHY he did it, nor his motivation-as I doubt even he does. However he does know me well enough to know that I am ALL about manners, always have been, so I will reply with a sho...

QOD · QOD

Last summer when things were getting increasingly difficult w/my teen son, my exAH started coming around more to help me with him. The more time we spent together, the more I realized I missed him. The good times with him. His laugh, his touch, his presence in general. I blame part of this on being a...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I don't know how to even start . We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. How did you do it ? Please HELP !

Maria123 · Maria123

Just thought I would share for anyone/everyone who's from this area that next weekend is the Annual Massachusetts Alanon Conference "Awakening to Choices." If you are nearby, think about attending. The conferences are wonderful, a weekend of recovery with "those who understan...

cichlid6 · cichlid6

It's a wonderful magic trick, when I focus on you I disappear!

Sincerely · Sincerely

today was sooo sweet. we've planned this all week. and it couldn't not have gone any better. my a hubby boiled seafood for my a mom and my bestfriend and me today. good food, good fun and good family.....o happy day sincerely, tonya

Robinks · Robinks

Hi everyone - the first day of the beginning of my new life is here. I am going to school starting Monday. Two weeks and I will be able to tutor children who are dyslexic. I am really looking forward to this. I knew when I decided to do this, my husband would try to sabotague me. Well, I guess it is my HP throwin...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

This weekend was good and bad, mostly good with a dash of bad sprinkled in:). I was dreding the weekend at first, because Mom's day was yet another day that EXABF and I started a "tradition" and I hated the idea of facing it this year without him. Last year he bought me a new Mt. Bike and he...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

So, yesterday I call my mom, and ask for my step father's brother's number because he has a mega truck and can help move me. Before I know it, mom is in her victim mode, about how she & I were working together, how she & I were supposed to collaborate, how she & I, she & I, she & I.... S...

Holly09 · Holly09

Happy Mother's Day to all you amazing moms!!!

mia883 · mia883

Few weeks ago I had an Alanon meeting using Skype. The conference call included people from Sweden, Japan, Australia, Ireland, Thailand, USA. Everyonee was sharing similar things about the disease of alcoholism. To me alcoholism is world wide and is a pandemic with serious consequences for every...

aunitedway · aunitedway

first i want to say there is a fantastic book called "Boundaries" by cloud /townsend you can find it at amazon new or used... or at a local half price books for pretty darn cheap $. :))) it helped me understand My situation better and how to apply boundaries in my relationship...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Well kind of a continuation from the other post I posted the other day.... Wasnt sure to start a new topic or continue, but well here I am... I posted about my husbands DUI court case and how he hasnt learned to stop drinking. Well Friday, hmmm he is sitting around all day with that LOOK on his face, the look...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Yesterday my hubby went to court for his DUI he got in March. Well first off let me give a short background, I have posted several times on here, but for those who dont know, my husband is a binge drinker and goes months on a dry spell and then slowly starts the cycle again. I have been dealing with this for th...

maresie · maresie

I think I've spent my entire life stewing in resentment. Lately I've had to suffer someone in my class who seethes with resentment day and night. He can't bear to see anyone live when he is so unhappy. I don't doubt he's an alcoholic as there are many signs there. I have to say I had no idea how hard it wa...

newday · newday

My a-bf and I have been broken up for 2 years and recently started seeing each other again. He's still an A...but I miss him. I decided to set boundaries. One being, our time together would not involve anyone else...ie...family, kids etc. Just us. This means...no sleeping on my couch after an evening o...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Have no idea what you all saw...I wrote in English and could only see English...thank you Tom for reformatting it... I would love to see what you were all seeing! I blame the atmospheric pressure changes between England and the USA...hahaha I have no idea how you saw GREEK? I cannot write Greek and I can...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My mom is very "unique" to me. I don't know if anyone has a similar experience with their moms but I have so much experience with the downside of my relationship with my mom. Unfortunately, sometimes I think she has been less-than what I wanted her to be. I guess in some ways she let me down. ...

Jozie · Jozie

Today I have been thinking about some things, some bother me & some I just don't really understand. But my thoughts brought me here about a week ago, and my gut told me one thing, while my heart told me another... Should have went with the gut I suppose... How is it, that you can literally give yoursel...

Jerry F · Jerry F

For all of you mothers young and beyond. If no one has told you they love you because you're special and have been loving and protective...let me be the one. And to my own mother who's spirit continues to grace my mind and memory, Mahalo Nui, Aloha. (((((hugs)))))

maire rua · maire rua

at present I am battling with myself to make right choice, to control my own journey and to stop creating situations which are not beneficial. I find that I go through these crazy infatuations where I create a fantasy land. I have to stop myself on this one as reality is where I want to be. I think now becau...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

Hey you guys I wrote my shrink and TOLD her that this was MY recovery and that things were going to go MY pace..MY comfort and MY needs..... Also re: honoring the male parent....I told her since she threw the bible at me, I told her to read Leviticus 18:29......"EVERYONE who does these detestable t...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

Life is never boring I wrote this REAL nice email to my shrink...Told her that this was MY recovery and the focus needed to be on ME and what was best for ME....NO ordering me and adding shame to my pain.... Anyway, she writes back and DENIED telling me to "honor my father"....she DENIED even t...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

I received a visit from the son I know and love, he came by to see me this past weekend after he had a falling out with his best friends and his major supplier of drugs. We sat across the kitchen table from each other and drank Coca-Cola and ate cookies (just like when he was little) we laughed and talked abo...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Believe it or not!!! things are going good!! My husband has been home 3 days now and we haven't argued even once. I almost got frustrated last night over something and I stopped myself from going there. I just said to myself.......look, if you go there you will make yourself miserable, so don't go the...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

So today I submitted all my letters to the board, to my boss, etc, etc I start packing this weekend Within the next two weeks, I meet with the board. Already questions are being raised about my resignation letter. I pointed out that somet of the activities that go on here are...less than legal. ...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Yes, it's true. I work my programme I walk the talk and then my health trips me up and I am vulnerable. Just when I was thinking that that dreadful virus-ridden-flu-infested air caught me out again and I have a raging temperature whilst I shiver 'cos my clothes are sticking to me from a temperature that i...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi All My exabf called me the other day. I hadnt heard from him in 10 days. He'd been back to his rehab for a visit and to do service work. Hadnt told anyone he was going just turned off his phone and went. He was full of good news over opportunities that had arisen, its great to hear him doing so well, I really...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Thank all of your for responding to my post yesterday. I received sooo much ESH that I felt completely blessed by it all. Alot of it applied to me and my situation, and after having thought a lot about it the past few days I have really been able to put some clarity on it and it has helped me to feel better...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am not with him because I love the man I can make him into, I'm with him because I love the man he is now.

Suzannah · Suzannah

That was my middle name, in fact it became my first name, middle name, and last name...in fact JADE was me...to an iota. ....that is... Until I changed my name and stopped - justifying (my every thought, word and deed) apologising (for the flash floods, the volcano eruptions, the toradoes, for breat...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Good Morning all ~ Not sure if this is an appropriate post, but I was wondering if there was a phone list of sorts for this forum? OR if there were any members willing to accept phone calls? Thank you in advance and please advise, if this is not the appropriate place to ask such questions.

mermaid88 · mermaid88

I am so fed up right now. I am so tired of getting angry at my AH (I don't know all the lingo yet). He is actually my AF (alcoholic fiance). I am tired of being ridiculed and manipulated. I am tired of hypocrisy and double standards. I was strong and happy before and during the first 2 years of our relatio...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband has missed his last two Intensive Out Patient Therapy appointments because he's been drunk (sorry, he claims that he's sick). I called the therapist who runs the treatment program and left a voicemail saying that the reason he has missed his last two sessions is because he's drinking aga...

funnyone · funnyone

My husband is the greatest Narcissist you would ever meet, complete with a gold medal in the blame game. I have spent most of the last decade trying to figure out if I was the object of his self hate or the dumping ground of his blame. His most recent 3 week binge landed him in rehab. He had spent $3800 on a...

tweety23 · tweety23

i am a newcomer, just starting out. i am scared of the warm weather!! for the last few years instead of looking forward to summer fun i find myself dreading the Bbq's, the patios, and all of that, because with my A it is tied into drinking opportunities. starting earlier in the day and on into the night.....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	WHY am I such an enabler!? I really need to stop. (Preview) I'm slowly learning how I enable my dry drunk, to control me. He does it with ease and I need to stop. I need to stop running his calendar, and doing his business for him. I do step in from time to time still. Mainly when it affects my bottom line. I'm learning NOT to do this. It's not just my husband. I j...	Inpain	4	928	May 12, 2009 by Sincerely
	A-Father's request (Preview) Dear All, A-Father has asked me and initially i said i would take over step mother who is now dead, car and insure him as a named driver. I have checked this out and am not prepared to do same as if he has any problems, and he does he is eighty not declaring same however he got away with that, and it would affect...	maire rua	1	808	May 12, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Don't Want to Go Home (Preview) Ever since my husband's Mother's Day stunt (which seems like days ago, but it was only yesterday), my son and I have been staying at my parents' condo. It's pretty nice here - everything is so clean, it doesn't smell of booze or pets, and the condo complex has a nice pool with a hot tub (it's like a mini v...	N8SMOM	7	951	May 12, 2009 by maire rua
	Phone Job Interview (Preview) Hello Everyone! I've always searched 'monster' to find out what jobs are open in my profession around the state. Just to know what is happening. I've never applied for any until recently. I love my current job and I am pretty satisfied with my salary. BUT...a position was advertised by our main c...	Sincerely	8	986	May 12, 2009 by RLC
	Hard to stay, hard to let go (Preview) Oh, sit back, it turned out to be a long one.... I feel like I am at a fork in the road. I left my AH 2 1/2 months ago. Things have been up and down. He is a recovering alcoholic and addict. Sober/dry for a year (relapsed a couple times recently). I took him out for his birthday. He said that he was ok with me havi...	JaneG	9	870	May 12, 2009 by JaneG
	What a wonderful, wonderful day!!! And I mean it!!! (Preview) First of all, thank you, thank you for all your prayers for my sweet Bonnie Lou(my Beagle). She seems to be a whole lot better. Not completely out of the woods, but not coughing so much. Praise God and all of you with your wonderful messages of concern. There is nothing like the love of a dear pet. And w...	clara	5	727	May 12, 2009 by Karilynn
	Rejoining the human race (Preview) Hello Friends, It has been a long while since I have posted, just recently I have rejoined the human race. It feels wonderful, I just woke up on day and I could see life clearly for the first time in a very long long time and it feels great. It's been almost two years since Chuck ( my husband) has passed. I s...	Andrea12	5	773	May 12, 2009 by Karilynn
	horrible mother's day - an intro (Preview) I am so very new to this. I did attend some al-anon meetings what seems like it must be 20 years ago, but I have no idea what EHS is, etc. anyway... please understand how very much i love my mum, but her alcoholism is toxic for me. I live about 20 minutes from her and try to see her every sunday. EVERY time i se...	tcia	5	773	May 12, 2009 by maresie
	post birthday insight - my birthday was Saturday. (Preview) Every year on my birthday I craved that the A take notice and do something for me. One year he got drunk and took his friend out. I refused to go out with him when he was drunk. The next day he hosted a mother's day special for his mother and I went to it. That was some of the beginning of my detachment. I realis...	maresie	7	736	May 12, 2009 by Peggy7
	Few Alanon things you have learned and like best! (Preview) I was just wondering if you all would share a few things you learned in Alanon you liked best and have helped you work your program! Here are my couple: Trust HP (still working on it though) No or low expectations for A's or anyone for that matter Mind my own business and worry about ME and no one else!	Melissa21	11	1376	May 12, 2009 by gngcrzy
	This program really works! (Preview) So hubby is now into week 4 of trying to live a new life without alcohol. He started off really great after detox (going to AA 2 times a week, repeating the slogans etc..). I was encouraged, but kept in the back of my mind "Hope for the best, plan for the worst". So this weekend he decides to d...	MissyPoo	8	834	May 12, 2009 by Jerry F
	Dry Drunk Detachment & Getting Better at It Part II (Preview) Hi All, This is the sequel to my original post from about two weeks or so ago. My bf eventually came around to talk. He told me that he realized that he really hurt me and didn't treat me right and he also realized that he let my son down (as he promised my son that he would not hurt me). He told me that he felt hor...	Saved By Grace	1	950	May 11, 2009 by Jerry F
	hello I am new and so alone (Preview) My husband is in a treatment institution for substance abuse, I don't know what to say or do for him I feel really selfish Like its his fault for being there what SHould I say or do for him?I want to be supportive but this is my first time at this any help or encouragement or friendly support would be accecpt...	chefkim	10	1076	May 11, 2009 by Sincerely
	This program really does work! My share :)...Updated 3rd post!!! (Preview) I've only been here about 5 months, have a WONDERFUL sponsor, went to one f2f meeting and can see progress in ME! My A is also a sex addict and I think at his worse right now. People keep telling me Oh I saw him at this bar with this person...I do't even care. I know he is sleeping with 3 other people and you know...	Melissa21	11	1948	May 11, 2009 by Sincerely
	Looking for cheap Alanon books, delivery Australia? (Preview) We are looking for cheap Alanon books. Does anyone know where to purchase some cheap books with little transport expenses. These alanon books can be used or new, but must be cheap for purchase and transport? Mia	mia883	6	3031	May 11, 2009 by mia883
	Wishing I had heard this one 20 yrs ago (Preview) We are fortunate enough to have a 50 +yrs in program old timmer in our meeting who told this little joke the other nite So for moms who are homemakers with little ones this just might work for you, wish I had thought of this when I was alot younger. A young woman with 3 small children made sure that the home...	abbyal	6	598	May 11, 2009 by Andrea12
	seeing it for what it is, not what I want it to be... (Preview) Our family tradition on Mother's Day during our married years was to work in the yard. It was what I wanted, and a day that I could expect everyone to pitch in and help, and not feel the slightest bit guilty about it This year my exAH asked if he could have the kids for a while on Sat to prepare for Sun. I let the...	Loupiness	6	728	May 11, 2009 by Jozie
	DURING SEPARATION - SISTER IN LAW IS OUT OF CONTROL!!! (Preview) My AH and I have been separated about 8 weeks. He moved out after he believed he was sober and stopped going to AA as soon as he moved out. His sister who is 11 years younger LOVES being able to control him and spend all his time with her. They have NEVER been close in fact she is her parents biological child...	farmgirlmay	6	838	May 11, 2009 by maresie
	For my Mom (Preview) This is a reprint of a post I did several years ago for my Mom (Toni as she was called) on Mother's Day. For all my Alanon Moms. I love you all. *Mom,* *Even though we can't be together because God called you home when I was only 19, I wanted to thank you for still being there for me. Your life was far from perfect,...*	Karilynn	4	620	May 11, 2009 by Andrea12
	Moving--Again! (Preview) So...Scared. But ok. I got a job. In topeka. I'm moving. Again Yes. I'm scared. I'm scared of alot of things. But God bless america. I'm not dead yet. I'm not dead yet. I need y'all to remind me that I have the strength to do this again. Y'all got me through moving to KY. Things are different. My mom's fam...	Tiger2006	8	596	May 11, 2009 by maresie
	Ok I feel so stupid (Preview) I have not dated or even talked to any man since my AH. I have been alone for years now. So I go on this JW match site. sigh. NOT me to do this as you guys well know. I am in no way knowledgeable how to do this. I have always been persude. Did I spell that right? OK Chased. Being on my mountain the chances of meeting...	debilyn	15	787	May 11, 2009 by maresie
	My sweet Beagle is very sick; what next??? (Preview) Our sweet Beagle, Bonnie Lou is very sick and probably will not be with us much longer. She is 12 years old; has congestive heart failure and now has bronchitus. Took her to the vet this morning and spent a ton of money(I would spend my last dime) for her meds. She is coughing and coughing. Yes, dogs c...	clara	11	912	May 11, 2009 by maresie
	Monday, Monday :) (Preview) Hey y'all, I'm doing ok. Y'all made a huge difference yesterday. I need to add a PS to yesterday: So my stepfather called Su afternoon and mediates. he agrees that it's my life, my move, etc. He suggests that I'm stressed ( duh) and when I get stressed I get a little dictatorial (ok, I can get that) and t...	Tiger2006	2	895	May 11, 2009 by rosielightshines
	can I do both? (Preview) I am the daughter of an alcoholic. My boyfriend is also, in my definition, an alcoholic. I have noticed that in the past year, I might also be an alcoholic. However, when I went to an alanon meeting, I could relate to everything they were saying about the frustrations and the effects that growing up in an...	cidiera	8	911	May 11, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Baby steps today, but moving forward not backward... (Preview) Thanks to everyone who responded to my last post, where EXABF sent me the Mom's day card. I realize that I do not need to know WHY he did it, nor his motivation-as I doubt even he does. However he does know me well enough to know that I am ALL about manners, always have been, so I will reply with a sho...	shellyj123	3	762	May 11, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Oh the Ups and Downs (Preview) Last summer when things were getting increasingly difficult w/my teen son, my exAH started coming around more to help me with him. The more time we spent together, the more I realized I missed him. The good times with him. His laugh, his touch, his presence in general. I blame part of this on being a...	QOD	12	917	May 11, 2009 by QOD
	Need Help On Step 4 (Preview) I don't know how to even start . We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. How did you do it ? Please HELP !	peacewithin	8	4912	May 11, 2009 by kitty
	Awakening To Choices - Massachusetts Alanon Conference, May 15 - 17, 2009 (Preview) Just thought I would share for anyone/everyone who's from this area that next weekend is the Annual Massachusetts Alanon Conference "Awakening to Choices." If you are nearby, think about attending. The conferences are wonderful, a weekend of recovery with "those who understan...	Maria123	4	768	May 11, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Focus, focus hocus pocus (Preview) It's a wonderful magic trick, when I focus on you I disappear!	cichlid6	4	748	May 11, 2009 by RunnerChick
	O' happy day..with A mom and A hubby.. (Preview) today was sooo sweet. we've planned this all week. and it couldn't not have gone any better. my a hubby boiled seafood for my a mom and my bestfriend and me today. good food, good fun and good family.....o happy day sincerely, tonya	Sincerely	5	598	May 11, 2009 by Loupiness
	Alcoholic Behavior (Preview) Hi everyone - the first day of the beginning of my new life is here. I am going to school starting Monday. Two weeks and I will be able to tutor children who are dyslexic. I am really looking forward to this. I knew when I decided to do this, my husband would try to sabotague me. Well, I guess it is my HP throwin...	Robinks	9	653	May 11, 2009 by Robinks
	Wanting to let go but still find myself holding on a little at times....Trying to understand EXABF's motivation. (Preview) This weekend was good and bad, mostly good with a dash of bad sprinkled in:). I was dreding the weekend at first, because Mom's day was yet another day that EXABF and I started a "tradition" and I hated the idea of facing it this year without him. Last year he bought me a new Mt. Bike and he...	shellyj123	6	565	May 11, 2009 by Mariner
	Mother's day and moving disasters... (Preview) So, yesterday I call my mom, and ask for my step father's brother's number because he has a mega truck and can help move me. Before I know it, mom is in her victim mode, about how she & I were working together, how she & I were supposed to collaborate, how she & I, she & I, she & I.... S...	Tiger2006	8	541	May 10, 2009 by Jean4444
	Mother's Day (Preview) Happy Mother's Day to all you amazing moms!!!	Holly09	1	570	May 10, 2009 by Jozie
	Having an Alanon Skype meeting , I realised alcoholism is a WWW pandemic? (Preview) Few weeks ago I had an Alanon meeting using Skype. The conference call included people from Sweden, Japan, Australia, Ireland, Thailand, USA. Everyonee was sharing similar things about the disease of alcoholism. To me alcoholism is world wide and is a pandemic with serious consequences for every...	mia883	4	1026	May 10, 2009 by mia883
	Boundaries... Detachment. (Preview) first i want to say there is a fantastic book called "Boundaries" by cloud /townsend you can find it at amazon new or used... or at a local half price books for pretty darn cheap $. :))) it helped me understand My situation better and how to apply boundaries in my relationship...	aunitedway	3	738	May 10, 2009 by beths
	I cannot believe I did this. What was I thinking. (Preview) Well kind of a continuation from the other post I posted the other day.... Wasnt sure to start a new topic or continue, but well here I am... I posted about my husbands DUI court case and how he hasnt learned to stop drinking. Well Friday, hmmm he is sitting around all day with that LOOK on his face, the look...	princessloretta	4	935	May 10, 2009 by maire rua
	Hubby went to court for DUI, ( kinda long, sorry, really need to vent) (Preview) Yesterday my hubby went to court for his DUI he got in March. Well first off let me give a short background, I have posted several times on here, but for those who dont know, my husband is a binge drinker and goes months on a dry spell and then slowly starts the cycle again. I have been dealing with this for th...	princessloretta	9	1516	May 10, 2009 by princessloretta
	Stewing in resentment. (Preview) I think I've spent my entire life stewing in resentment. Lately I've had to suffer someone in my class who seethes with resentment day and night. He can't bear to see anyone live when he is so unhappy. I don't doubt he's an alcoholic as there are many signs there. I have to say I had no idea how hard it wa...	maresie	10	518	May 10, 2009 by leigha
	A's do not understand boundaries (Preview) My a-bf and I have been broken up for 2 years and recently started seeing each other again. He's still an A...but I miss him. I decided to set boundaries. One being, our time together would not involve anyone else...ie...family, kids etc. Just us. This means...no sleeping on my couch after an evening o...	newday	7	1086	May 10, 2009 by rosielightshines
	My Apologies ...still no idea what you all saw... I was writing in ENGLISH as usual. LOL (Preview) Have no idea what you all saw...I wrote in English and could only see English...thank you Tom for reformatting it... I would love to see what you were all seeing! I blame the atmospheric pressure changes between England and the USA...hahaha I have no idea how you saw GREEK? I cannot write Greek and I can...	Suzannah	4	618	May 10, 2009 by chezza
	A little about my mom (Preview) My mom is very "unique" to me. I don't know if anyone has a similar experience with their moms but I have so much experience with the downside of my relationship with my mom. Unfortunately, sometimes I think she has been less-than what I wanted her to be. I guess in some ways she let me down. ...	Hoot Nanny	1	656	May 9, 2009 by Rora
	Honesty... Hummmm (Preview) Today I have been thinking about some things, some bother me & some I just don't really understand. But my thoughts brought me here about a week ago, and my gut told me one thing, while my heart told me another... Should have went with the gut I suppose... How is it, that you can literally give yoursel...	Jozie	7	819	May 9, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Happy Mothers' Day (Preview) For all of you mothers young and beyond. If no one has told you they love you because you're special and have been loving and protective...let me be the one. And to my own mother who's spirit continues to grace my mind and memory, Mahalo Nui, Aloha. (((((hugs)))))	Jerry F	10	746	May 9, 2009 by rosielightshines
	right choices (Preview) at present I am battling with myself to make right choice, to control my own journey and to stop creating situations which are not beneficial. I find that I go through these crazy infatuations where I create a fantasy land. I have to stop myself on this one as reality is where I want to be. I think now becau...	maire rua	3	725	May 9, 2009 by rosielightshines
	I wrote my Shrink (Preview) Hey you guys I wrote my shrink and TOLD her that this was MY recovery and that things were going to go MY pace..MY comfort and MY needs..... Also re: honoring the male parent....I told her since she threw the bible at me, I told her to read Leviticus 18:29......"EVERYONE who does these detestable t...	rosielightshines	3	609	May 9, 2009 by rosielightshines
	LOLOL my shrink denied it and dumped me!!! (Preview) Life is never boring I wrote this REAL nice email to my shrink...Told her that this was MY recovery and the focus needed to be on ME and what was best for ME....NO ordering me and adding shame to my pain.... Anyway, she writes back and DENIED telling me to "honor my father"....she DENIED even t...	rosielightshines	6	1517	May 9, 2009 by Dave Harm
	Addiction Is Cruel (Just In Case You Didn't Know)............ (Preview) I received a visit from the son I know and love, he came by to see me this past weekend after he had a falling out with his best friends and his major supplier of drugs. We sat across the kitchen table from each other and drank Coca-Cola and ate cookies (just like when he was little) we laughed and talked abo...	DreamsOver	4	533	May 9, 2009 by Sincerely
	Amazing! (Preview) Believe it or not!!! things are going good!! My husband has been home 3 days now and we haven't argued even once. I almost got frustrated last night over something and I stopped myself from going there. I just said to myself.......look, if you go there you will make yourself miserable, so don't go the...	Sincerely	4	732	May 9, 2009 by kitty
	The countdown begins (Preview) So today I submitted all my letters to the board, to my boss, etc, etc I start packing this weekend Within the next two weeks, I meet with the board. Already questions are being raised about my resignation letter. I pointed out that somet of the activities that go on here are...less than legal. ...	Tiger2006	6	755	May 9, 2009 by Maria123
	Realising that where-ever I am on my recovery road...I still remain vulernable at times that I least expect it... (Preview) Yes, it's true. I work my programme I walk the talk and then my health trips me up and I am vulnerable. Just when I was thinking that that dreadful virus-ridden-flu-infested air caught me out again and I have a raging temperature whilst I shiver 'cos my clothes are sticking to me from a temperature that i...	Suzannah	3	1072	May 8, 2009 by DreamsOver
	I dont know best (Preview) Hi All My exabf called me the other day. I hadnt heard from him in 10 days. He'd been back to his rehab for a visit and to do service work. Hadnt told anyone he was going just turned off his phone and went. He was full of good news over opportunities that had arisen, its great to hear him doing so well, I really...	Mariner	7	560	May 8, 2009 by rosielightshines
	New found clarity today~Feel like a weight was lifted~ (Preview) Thank all of your for responding to my post yesterday. I received sooo much ESH that I felt completely blessed by it all. Alot of it applied to me and my situation, and after having thought a lot about it the past few days I have really been able to put some clarity on it and it has helped me to feel better...	shellyj123	2	698	May 8, 2009 by rosielightshines
	I have to remember. (Preview) I am not with him because I love the man I can make him into, I'm with him because I love the man he is now.	carolinagirl	3	541	May 8, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Justify apologise defend explain = J A D E =who? (Preview) That was my middle name, in fact it became my first name, middle name, and last name...in fact JADE was me...to an iota. ....that is... Until I changed my name and stopped - justifying (my every thought, word and deed) apologising (for the flash floods, the volcano eruptions, the toradoes, for breat...	Suzannah	13	3010	May 8, 2009 by Lanchas
	PHONE LIST/MEMBERS WILLING TO ACCEPT PHONE CALLS (Preview) Good Morning all ~ Not sure if this is an appropriate post, but I was wondering if there was a phone list of sorts for this forum? OR if there were any members willing to accept phone calls? Thank you in advance and please advise, if this is not the appropriate place to ask such questions.	RunnerChick	6	916	May 8, 2009 by RunnerChick
	I want to leave... (Preview) I am so fed up right now. I am so tired of getting angry at my AH (I don't know all the lingo yet). He is actually my AF (alcoholic fiance). I am tired of being ridiculed and manipulated. I am tired of hypocrisy and double standards. I was strong and happy before and during the first 2 years of our relatio...	mermaid88	10	586	May 8, 2009 by JaneG
	Did Something I Probably Shouldn't Have (Preview) My husband has missed his last two Intensive Out Patient Therapy appointments because he's been drunk (sorry, he claims that he's sick). I called the therapist who runs the treatment program and left a voicemail saying that the reason he has missed his last two sessions is because he's drinking aga...	N8SMOM	6	620	May 8, 2009 by stariana
	Hiding in the Program (Preview) My husband is the greatest Narcissist you would ever meet, complete with a gold medal in the blame game. I have spent most of the last decade trying to figure out if I was the object of his self hate or the dumping ground of his blame. His most recent 3 week binge landed him in rehab. He had spent $3800 on a...	funnyone	11	588	May 8, 2009 by kitty
	scared of summer :( (Preview) i am a newcomer, just starting out. i am scared of the warm weather!! for the last few years instead of looking forward to summer fun i find myself dreading the Bbq's, the patios, and all of that, because with my A it is tied into drinking opportunities. starting earlier in the day and on into the night.....	tweety23	6	494	May 8, 2009 by kitty
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.