Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Hello Family - I'm struggling with the desire to control my A. As I posted a few weeks earlier, his meeting attendance has decrease significantly and it takes everything inside of me NOT to speculate on this. My comments and overwhelming worry HAVE decreased but, not vanished. Sometimes I feel I go to...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

So last night I got a group of girlfriends togather to spend the night at my parents' empty condo for a pre-Mother's Day celebration. Just something special for us moms so we can spend a night relaxing, hanging out, and having fun. I got home this morning and was greeted by my husband whose first words...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

Two weeks ago today I buried my father and Saturday we buried my father in law. Grief has got ahold of me and I do not like where I am at. I am so angry with all of the people that have managed to slip into FIL's life and take, take take and never give back. There are even times I feel like they have robbed me of my...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

What are the negative effects not detaching? If you are unable to detach from people, places or things, then you: * Will have people, places or things which become over-dependent on you. * Run the risk of being manipulated to do things for people, at places or with things which you do not really want to d...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear all, Have been reading the posts and getting so much out of them, its unbelievable. I rang my A father and told him the truth, that I would not be able to transfer dead step moms car to me and insure him as a named driver because of the consequences for ME. This is a first. I am sure he is annoyed. I made som...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... Don't know what is up with me this morning... I feel ok I suppose, but a little off... I am not sure if it has to do with Yesterdays Good/Great news or not... when it come to getting rid of the My Deseased Afathers estate or what... Or if it is just Realizing... That I am getting were I need to be with it...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

Hey guys...Sorry I did not quote source for those posts... I was going through some old posts of mine and notes of mine that I had saved over this 5 years and don't KNOW where I got the info from......SO for now "source unknown".....I surf my old notes...old posts.....internet....type fr...

Becky1 · Becky1

Actually found out my job is being done away with....actually being sent to China, come August. I have worked there 22 years last month. No matter what, men problems, health problems, whatever, I still had my job. I NEED MY JOB! I moved into my own apt. last July, and have been doing wonderfully. Gett...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

First of all thank you all for responding to my post yesterday, I always appreciate the ESH that comes from my MIP family, I have been carried more times than I can count by most of you here. Several people (not just here) have voiced to me that maybe my problem is that I am "overdoing" AlAnon....

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, Yesterday was my last day with my old teaching job. In August I start teaching in a new subject area - same school. After 15 years, it was bittersweet. No fanfare, no party, no gold watch (he, he). They asked for my keys. The transition is from a great environment - terrible co-worker to a ne...

Jerry F · Jerry F

(((((((MIP Family))))))) I am so awed by meetings where the shares by other members are exact echos from my past in program. When the thoughts and feelings are exactly as they were for me in the same language and expression. I just close my eyes and let myself be guided thru the journey by a newer willi...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

How to Develop Detachment In order to become detached from a person, place or thing, you need to: First: Establish emotional boundaries between you and the person, place or thing with whom you have become overly enmeshed or dependent on. Second: Take back power over your feelings from persons, plac...

barisax · barisax

I know that Alanon is a program for people who love an alcoholic. Or as the reading states, there is a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. This implies love, but how many of us really hate alcoholics? As a sober alcoholic myself, it's hard for me to hate alcoholics, but I do find myself har...

barisax · barisax

I know it's nowhere near Christmas, but I just had thoughts of the classic Jimmy Stewart / Frank Capra movie "It's A Wonderful Life". It truly is a film with many lessons and a timeless message - and it occurred to me that there's a specific message in it for we codependents too. At the heart o...

trenchy · trenchy

Hello. I'm new to this board and have only been to a few al anon meetings. I know there is wisdom there, but I do get frustrated by the fact that most members do tend to be wives/significant other -as opposed to parents. There are some differences in issues and emotions that are just hard for me to ignore a...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

For some reason this week, that I can't wrap myself around, I am feeling quite "off". Almost like I can see myself in this huge lake, and I am swinging my arms, kicking my legs and fighting with everything I have JUST TO KEEP AFLOAT, and I am getting so worn out, and just don't feel like fighti...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I just want to apologize, I feel like I take, take, take from this board and hardly give. My emotions are such a roller coaster right now. I've been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks for a few months now, I lately I've been doing well (between therapy, medications, and meetings). Yesterday, my hu...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I made it!! He left for work early so I started packing up he came home for a minute to get something and I just said I will be out by tonight. He didn'ts ay anything just left. Then 2 hours later we had the first truck loaded up. My friends brother calls and said he did something to the propane tank in the garag...

clara · clara

Daughter is supposed to come out to our house while we go out of town this week end to take care of our sick Beagle(bonnie lou), who thank God is much better(Beagle, not daughter). She loves Bonnie Lou and would take good care of her and give her the medicines she is still taking So, I called her 3 times y...

Robinks · Robinks

I just started my dyslexia training, the class is hard and so many roadblocks before the class started. Husband lost job, son two surgery's on his elbow. I am able to concentrate in class and do the homework so far.... Last night brother who spent three years in prison called., he was drinking.... what...

Jozie · Jozie

Well.. Bit of an Odd Day... Had a good day volunteering at the school... No Drama per say... Which was... Got back to the office, and started reading some of my Daily's... "Really Working Hard :)" Well I have been studing up on "Exceptance"... For I have been excepting my respons...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok, Yesterday in my travels on my Bike, as I was praying for my al-anon family I also made a HUGE Step back to ME :) When we left here on our bikes we really didn't know were we were heading, just the oppisite direction of the rain :) 99.9% of the time, my husband will ALWAYS ask... Were to You want to go.. and I A...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok, yesterday I took a ride on my Harley to see what God had in store for me. And WOW did I have an awesome day... I have to say tho that the first 50 miles all I could think of was my Al-anon family and how much you all mean to me... In my prayers yesterday I could not thinking of: Jerry... how you are always there...

mkn · mkn

My husband just left me. Both of his parents and all his grandparents were raging alcoholics and he also is a child abuse survivor. When we met - I was very ill. The first two years we were together he had to really take care of me. Then as I got better and better he seemed to get angry. Aggitated all of th...

maryam · maryam

I have been on this site off and on and have had many good responces which is appreciated. My b/f who is a severe alcoholic/ bipolor and then started smoking crack. I hung in there for app 8 yrs, stuck with him through prison, through many breakups i always went back until this time. Was bad enough with the...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Today for some reason I got to thinking about EXABF and our relationship, how it started and ended. In the beginning I ran from him as soon as I found out he was an A, for fear. He pursued diligently, and fought to get me. He even told me at one point early on that I took all the fight out of him in the beginin...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

I just needed to come to the board...Ive been so much stronger, getting out and about, meeting new people and re-establishing old friendships and importantly, sorting my finances etc and now I feel utterly flat. I have effectively cut my exAH out of my life, not responding to his various communicati...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Lucky #7. The interviewer closed the interview by saying to me: Well, Tonya....over the next 2 days I will be interviewing 18 people. You are number 7. And you are the first one that I am recommending to the second interview. You know what my friends???? This has inspired me so much! I am very confid...

Gailey · Gailey

My ex-dil decided that she would tell my granddaughters (8 & 6) the problem that daddy has. I agreed that they were probably old enough to tell them about the alcoholism. Here is the thing....ex-dil told A son that the oldest had a little anxiety about ex-dil and new husband having a beer the other n...

Inpain · Inpain

I'm slowly learning how I enable my dry drunk, to control me. He does it with ease and I need to stop. I need to stop running his calendar, and doing his business for him. I do step in from time to time still. Mainly when it affects my bottom line. I'm learning NOT to do this. It's not just my husband. I j...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, A-Father has asked me and initially i said i would take over step mother who is now dead, car and insure him as a named driver. I have checked this out and am not prepared to do same as if he has any problems, and he does he is eighty not declaring same however he got away with that, and it would affect...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Ever since my husband's Mother's Day stunt (which seems like days ago, but it was only yesterday), my son and I have been staying at my parents' condo. It's pretty nice here - everything is so clean, it doesn't smell of booze or pets, and the condo complex has a nice pool with a hot tub (it's like a mini v...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello Everyone! I've always searched 'monster' to find out what jobs are open in my profession around the state. Just to know what is happening. I've never applied for any until recently. I love my current job and I am pretty satisfied with my salary. BUT...a position was advertised by our main c...

JaneG · JaneG

Oh, sit back, it turned out to be a long one.... I feel like I am at a fork in the road. I left my AH 2 1/2 months ago. Things have been up and down. He is a recovering alcoholic and addict. Sober/dry for a year (relapsed a couple times recently). I took him out for his birthday. He said that he was ok with me havi...

clara · clara

First of all, thank you, thank you for all your prayers for my sweet Bonnie Lou(my Beagle). She seems to be a whole lot better. Not completely out of the woods, but not coughing so much. Praise God and all of you with your wonderful messages of concern. There is nothing like the love of a dear pet. And w...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, It has been a long while since I have posted, just recently I have rejoined the human race. It feels wonderful, I just woke up on day and I could see life clearly for the first time in a very long long time and it feels great. It's been almost two years since Chuck ( my husband) has passed. I s...

tcia · tcia

I am so very new to this. I did attend some al-anon meetings what seems like it must be 20 years ago, but I have no idea what EHS is, etc. anyway... please understand how very much i love my mum, but her alcoholism is toxic for me. I live about 20 minutes from her and try to see her every sunday. EVERY time i se...

maresie · maresie

Every year on my birthday I craved that the A take notice and do something for me. One year he got drunk and took his friend out. I refused to go out with him when he was drunk. The next day he hosted a mother's day special for his mother and I went to it. That was some of the beginning of my detachment. I realis...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I was just wondering if you all would share a few things you learned in Alanon you liked best and have helped you work your program! Here are my couple: Trust HP (still working on it though) No or low expectations for A's or anyone for that matter Mind my own business and worry about ME and no one else!

MissyPoo · MissyPoo

So hubby is now into week 4 of trying to live a new life without alcohol. He started off really great after detox (going to AA 2 times a week, repeating the slogans etc..). I was encouraged, but kept in the back of my mind "Hope for the best, plan for the worst". So this weekend he decides to d...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

Hi All, This is the sequel to my original post from about two weeks or so ago. My bf eventually came around to talk. He told me that he realized that he really hurt me and didn't treat me right and he also realized that he let my son down (as he promised my son that he would not hurt me). He told me that he felt hor...

chefkim · chefkim

My husband is in a treatment institution for substance abuse, I don't know what to say or do for him I feel really selfish Like its his fault for being there what SHould I say or do for him?I want to be supportive but this is my first time at this any help or encouragement or friendly support would be accecpt...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I've only been here about 5 months, have a WONDERFUL sponsor, went to one f2f meeting and can see progress in ME! My A is also a sex addict and I think at his worse right now. People keep telling me Oh I saw him at this bar with this person...I do't even care. I know he is sleeping with 3 other people and you know...

mia883 · mia883

We are looking for cheap Alanon books. Does anyone know where to purchase some cheap books with little transport expenses. These alanon books can be used or new, but must be cheap for purchase and transport? Mia

abbyal · abbyal

We are fortunate enough to have a 50 +yrs in program old timmer in our meeting who told this little joke the other nite So for moms who are homemakers with little ones this just might work for you, wish I had thought of this when I was alot younger. A young woman with 3 small children made sure that the home...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Our family tradition on Mother's Day during our married years was to work in the yard. It was what I wanted, and a day that I could expect everyone to pitch in and help, and not feel the slightest bit guilty about it This year my exAH asked if he could have the kids for a while on Sat to prepare for Sun. I let the...

farmgirlmay · farmgirlmay

My AH and I have been separated about 8 weeks. He moved out after he believed he was sober and stopped going to AA as soon as he moved out. His sister who is 11 years younger LOVES being able to control him and spend all his time with her. They have NEVER been close in fact she is her parents biological child...

Karilynn · Karilynn

This is a reprint of a post I did several years ago for my Mom (Toni as she was called) on Mother's Day. For all my Alanon Moms. I love you all. Mom, Even though we can't be together because God called you home when I was only 19, I wanted to thank you for still being there for me. Your life was far from perfect,...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

So...Scared. But ok. I got a job. In topeka. I'm moving. Again Yes. I'm scared. I'm scared of alot of things. But God bless america. I'm not dead yet. I'm not dead yet. I need y'all to remind me that I have the strength to do this again. Y'all got me through moving to KY. Things are different. My mom's fam...

debilyn · debilyn

I have not dated or even talked to any man since my AH. I have been alone for years now. So I go on this JW match site. sigh. NOT me to do this as you guys well know. I am in no way knowledgeable how to do this. I have always been persude. Did I spell that right? OK Chased. Being on my mountain the chances of meeting...

clara · clara

Our sweet Beagle, Bonnie Lou is very sick and probably will not be with us much longer. She is 12 years old; has congestive heart failure and now has bronchitus. Took her to the vet this morning and spent a ton of money(I would spend my last dime) for her meds. She is coughing and coughing. Yes, dogs c...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Hey y'all, I'm doing ok. Y'all made a huge difference yesterday. I need to add a PS to yesterday: So my stepfather called Su afternoon and mediates. he agrees that it's my life, my move, etc. He suggests that I'm stressed ( duh) and when I get stressed I get a little dictatorial (ok, I can get that) and t...

cidiera · cidiera

I am the daughter of an alcoholic. My boyfriend is also, in my definition, an alcoholic. I have noticed that in the past year, I might also be an alcoholic. However, when I went to an alanon meeting, I could relate to everything they were saying about the frustrations and the effects that growing up in an...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Thanks to everyone who responded to my last post, where EXABF sent me the Mom's day card. I realize that I do not need to know WHY he did it, nor his motivation-as I doubt even he does. However he does know me well enough to know that I am ALL about manners, always have been, so I will reply with a sho...

QOD · QOD

Last summer when things were getting increasingly difficult w/my teen son, my exAH started coming around more to help me with him. The more time we spent together, the more I realized I missed him. The good times with him. His laugh, his touch, his presence in general. I blame part of this on being a...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I don't know how to even start . We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. How did you do it ? Please HELP !

Maria123 · Maria123

Just thought I would share for anyone/everyone who's from this area that next weekend is the Annual Massachusetts Alanon Conference "Awakening to Choices." If you are nearby, think about attending. The conferences are wonderful, a weekend of recovery with "those who understan...

cichlid6 · cichlid6

It's a wonderful magic trick, when I focus on you I disappear!

Sincerely · Sincerely

today was sooo sweet. we've planned this all week. and it couldn't not have gone any better. my a hubby boiled seafood for my a mom and my bestfriend and me today. good food, good fun and good family.....o happy day sincerely, tonya

Robinks · Robinks

Hi everyone - the first day of the beginning of my new life is here. I am going to school starting Monday. Two weeks and I will be able to tutor children who are dyslexic. I am really looking forward to this. I knew when I decided to do this, my husband would try to sabotague me. Well, I guess it is my HP throwin...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Fighting the Desire to Control (Preview) Hello Family - I'm struggling with the desire to control my A. As I posted a few weeks earlier, his meeting attendance has decrease significantly and it takes everything inside of me NOT to speculate on this. My comments and overwhelming worry HAVE decreased but, not vanished. Sometimes I feel I go to...	RunnerChick	9	1027	May 15, 2009 by Jean4444
	You gotta love how they can ruin the holidays (Preview) So last night I got a group of girlfriends togather to spend the night at my parents' empty condo for a pre-Mother's Day celebration. Just something special for us moms so we can spend a night relaxing, hanging out, and having fun. I got home this morning and was greeted by my husband whose first words...	N8SMOM	9	833	May 15, 2009 by tweety23
	Grief and anger....ESH needed (Preview) Two weeks ago today I buried my father and Saturday we buried my father in law. Grief has got ahold of me and I do not like where I am at. I am so angry with all of the people that have managed to slip into FIL's life and take, take take and never give back. There are even times I feel like they have robbed me of my...	Mobirdie	9	934	May 14, 2009 by Andrea12
	When we cannot DETACH, we---------------- (Preview) What are the negative effects not detaching? If you are unable to detach from people, places or things, then you: * Will have people, places or things which become over-dependent on you. * Run the risk of being manipulated to do things for people, at places or with things which you do not really want to d...	rosielightshines	4	743	May 14, 2009 by maresie
	Decision making...at last (Preview) Dear all, Have been reading the posts and getting so much out of them, its unbelievable. I rang my A father and told him the truth, that I would not be able to transfer dead step moms car to me and insure him as a named driver because of the consequences for ME. This is a first. I am sure he is annoyed. I made som...	maire rua	4	593	May 14, 2009 by maresie
	Feeling Off Today... (Preview) Welp... Don't know what is up with me this morning... I feel ok I suppose, but a little off... I am not sure if it has to do with Yesterdays Good/Great news or not... when it come to getting rid of the My Deseased Afathers estate or what... Or if it is just Realizing... That I am getting were I need to be with it...	Jozie	4	747	May 14, 2009 by Sincerely
	My detachment posts (Preview) Hey guys...Sorry I did not quote source for those posts... I was going through some old posts of mine and notes of mine that I had saved over this 5 years and don't KNOW where I got the info from......SO for now "source unknown".....I surf my old notes...old posts.....internet....type fr...	rosielightshines	8	842	May 14, 2009 by Robinks
	I Lost My Job, The Only Thing I Could Count on for 22 Years (Preview) Actually found out my job is being done away with....actually being sent to China, come August. I have worked there 22 years last month. No matter what, men problems, health problems, whatever, I still had my job. I NEED MY JOB! I moved into my own apt. last July, and have been doing wonderfully. Gett...	Becky1	19	2270	May 14, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Am I addicted to AlAnon? Need to find some balance.........ESH greatly needed today (Preview) First of all thank you all for responding to my post yesterday, I always appreciate the ESH that comes from my MIP family, I have been carried more times than I can count by most of you here. Several people (not just here) have voiced to me that maybe my problem is that I am "overdoing" AlAnon....	shellyj123	12	1159	May 14, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Last Day on the Job (Preview) Hi Alanoners, Yesterday was my last day with my old teaching job. In August I start teaching in a new subject area - same school. After 15 years, it was bittersweet. No fanfare, no party, no gold watch (he, he). They asked for my keys. The transition is from a great environment - terrible co-worker to a ne...	nmike	3	794	May 14, 2009 by Jerry F
	Echos (Preview) (((((((MIP Family))))))) I am so awed by meetings where the shares by other members are exact echos from my past in program. When the thoughts and feelings are exactly as they were for me in the same language and expression. I just close my eyes and let myself be guided thru the journey by a newer willi...	Jerry F	4	717	May 14, 2009 by RLC
	How to Develop DETACHMENT (Preview) How to Develop Detachment In order to become detached from a person, place or thing, you need to: First: Establish emotional boundaries between you and the person, place or thing with whom you have become overly enmeshed or dependent on. Second: Take back power over your feelings from persons, plac...	rosielightshines	5	1218	May 14, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Alanons Who Hate Alcoholics (Preview) I know that Alanon is a program for people who love an alcoholic. Or as the reading states, there is a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. This implies love, but how many of us really hate alcoholics? As a sober alcoholic myself, it's hard for me to hate alcoholics, but I do find myself har...	barisax	16	2050	May 14, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Who's Your Potter? (Preview) I know it's nowhere near Christmas, but I just had thoughts of the classic Jimmy Stewart / Frank Capra movie "It's A Wonderful Life". It truly is a film with many lessons and a timeless message - and it occurred to me that there's a specific message in it for we codependents too. At the heart o...	barisax	10	802	May 14, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	grown 'kids' and 'consequences vs control =confusion! (Preview) Hello. I'm new to this board and have only been to a few al anon meetings. I know there is wisdom there, but I do get frustrated by the fact that most members do tend to be wives/significant other -as opposed to parents. There are some differences in issues and emotions that are just hard for me to ignore a...	trenchy	13	2828	May 14, 2009 by trenchy
	Feel like I'm about to go under...... (Preview) For some reason this week, that I can't wrap myself around, I am feeling quite "off". Almost like I can see myself in this huge lake, and I am swinging my arms, kicking my legs and fighting with everything I have JUST TO KEEP AFLOAT, and I am getting so worn out, and just don't feel like fighti...	shellyj123	9	821	May 14, 2009 by RunnerChick
	Feeling Anxiety (Preview) I just want to apologize, I feel like I take, take, take from this board and hardly give. My emotions are such a roller coaster right now. I've been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks for a few months now, I lately I've been doing well (between therapy, medications, and meetings). Yesterday, my hu...	N8SMOM	5	544	May 14, 2009 by RunnerChick
	Update on my situation! (Preview) I made it!! He left for work early so I started packing up he came home for a minute to get something and I just said I will be out by tonight. He didn'ts ay anything just left. Then 2 hours later we had the first truck loaded up. My friends brother calls and said he did something to the propane tank in the garag...	Melissa21	10	825	May 14, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Sick of walking on egg shells!!! (Preview) Daughter is supposed to come out to our house while we go out of town this week end to take care of our sick Beagle(bonnie lou), who thank God is much better(Beagle, not daughter). She loves Bonnie Lou and would take good care of her and give her the medicines she is still taking So, I called her 3 times y...	clara	10	720	May 14, 2009 by Gailey
	Need ES&H (Preview) I just started my dyslexia training, the class is hard and so many roadblocks before the class started. Husband lost job, son two surgery's on his elbow. I am able to concentrate in class and do the homework so far.... Last night brother who spent three years in prison called., he was drinking.... what...	Robinks	5	933	May 14, 2009 by Robinks
	Could my Prayers Be Answered????? (Preview) Well.. Bit of an Odd Day... Had a good day volunteering at the school... No Drama per say... Which was... Got back to the office, and started reading some of my Daily's... "Really Working Hard :)" Well I have been studing up on "Exceptance"... For I have been excepting my respons...	Jozie	4	803	May 14, 2009 by Christy
	My Newest Journey... ;) (Preview) Ok, Yesterday in my travels on my Bike, as I was praying for my al-anon family I also made a HUGE Step back to ME :) When we left here on our bikes we really didn't know were we were heading, just the oppisite direction of the rain :) 99.9% of the time, my husband will ALWAYS ask... Were to You want to go.. and I A...	Jozie	7	818	May 13, 2009 by Suzannah
	Lovin my MIP Family :) (Preview) Ok, yesterday I took a ride on my Harley to see what God had in store for me. And WOW did I have an awesome day... I have to say tho that the first 50 miles all I could think of was my Al-anon family and how much you all mean to me... In my prayers yesterday I could not thinking of: Jerry... how you are always there...	Jozie	4	784	May 13, 2009 by Suzannah
	Do I belong here? (Preview) My husband just left me. Both of his parents and all his grandparents were raging alcoholics and he also is a child abuse survivor. When we met - I was very ill. The first two years we were together he had to really take care of me. Then as I got better and better he seemed to get angry. Aggitated all of th...	mkn	8	947	May 13, 2009 by maresie
	should i write a letter????? (Preview) I have been on this site off and on and have had many good responces which is appreciated. My b/f who is a severe alcoholic/ bipolor and then started smoking crack. I hung in there for app 8 yrs, stuck with him through prison, through many breakups i always went back until this time. Was bad enough with the...	maryam	8	858	May 13, 2009 by Jozie
	Dealing with feelings of guilt for my part in it all. (Preview) Today for some reason I got to thinking about EXABF and our relationship, how it started and ended. In the beginning I ran from him as soon as I found out he was an A, for fear. He pursued diligently, and fought to get me. He even told me at one point early on that I took all the fight out of him in the beginin...	shellyj123	8	837	May 13, 2009 by kitty
	Feeling low again (Preview) I just needed to come to the board...Ive been so much stronger, getting out and about, meeting new people and re-establishing old friendships and importantly, sorting my finances etc and now I feel utterly flat. I have effectively cut my exAH out of my life, not responding to his various communicati...	Lilly Burn	7	876	May 13, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	Phone Job Interview -- Update (Preview) Lucky #7. The interviewer closed the interview by saying to me: Well, Tonya....over the next 2 days I will be interviewing 18 people. You are number 7. And you are the first one that I am recommending to the second interview. You know what my friends???? This has inspired me so much! I am very confid...	Sincerely	2	421	May 13, 2009 by Jean4444
	just a little venting here (Preview) My ex-dil decided that she would tell my granddaughters (8 & 6) the problem that daddy has. I agreed that they were probably old enough to tell them about the alcoholism. Here is the thing....ex-dil told A son that the oldest had a little anxiety about ex-dil and new husband having a beer the other n...	Gailey	8	477	May 13, 2009 by N8SMOM
	WHY am I such an enabler!? I really need to stop. (Preview) I'm slowly learning how I enable my dry drunk, to control me. He does it with ease and I need to stop. I need to stop running his calendar, and doing his business for him. I do step in from time to time still. Mainly when it affects my bottom line. I'm learning NOT to do this. It's not just my husband. I j...	Inpain	4	881	May 12, 2009 by Sincerely
	A-Father's request (Preview) Dear All, A-Father has asked me and initially i said i would take over step mother who is now dead, car and insure him as a named driver. I have checked this out and am not prepared to do same as if he has any problems, and he does he is eighty not declaring same however he got away with that, and it would affect...	maire rua	1	758	May 12, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Don't Want to Go Home (Preview) Ever since my husband's Mother's Day stunt (which seems like days ago, but it was only yesterday), my son and I have been staying at my parents' condo. It's pretty nice here - everything is so clean, it doesn't smell of booze or pets, and the condo complex has a nice pool with a hot tub (it's like a mini v...	N8SMOM	7	905	May 12, 2009 by maire rua
	Phone Job Interview (Preview) Hello Everyone! I've always searched 'monster' to find out what jobs are open in my profession around the state. Just to know what is happening. I've never applied for any until recently. I love my current job and I am pretty satisfied with my salary. BUT...a position was advertised by our main c...	Sincerely	8	929	May 12, 2009 by RLC
	Hard to stay, hard to let go (Preview) Oh, sit back, it turned out to be a long one.... I feel like I am at a fork in the road. I left my AH 2 1/2 months ago. Things have been up and down. He is a recovering alcoholic and addict. Sober/dry for a year (relapsed a couple times recently). I took him out for his birthday. He said that he was ok with me havi...	JaneG	9	826	May 12, 2009 by JaneG
	What a wonderful, wonderful day!!! And I mean it!!! (Preview) First of all, thank you, thank you for all your prayers for my sweet Bonnie Lou(my Beagle). She seems to be a whole lot better. Not completely out of the woods, but not coughing so much. Praise God and all of you with your wonderful messages of concern. There is nothing like the love of a dear pet. And w...	clara	5	679	May 12, 2009 by Karilynn
	Rejoining the human race (Preview) Hello Friends, It has been a long while since I have posted, just recently I have rejoined the human race. It feels wonderful, I just woke up on day and I could see life clearly for the first time in a very long long time and it feels great. It's been almost two years since Chuck ( my husband) has passed. I s...	Andrea12	5	727	May 12, 2009 by Karilynn
	horrible mother's day - an intro (Preview) I am so very new to this. I did attend some al-anon meetings what seems like it must be 20 years ago, but I have no idea what EHS is, etc. anyway... please understand how very much i love my mum, but her alcoholism is toxic for me. I live about 20 minutes from her and try to see her every sunday. EVERY time i se...	tcia	5	727	May 12, 2009 by maresie
	post birthday insight - my birthday was Saturday. (Preview) Every year on my birthday I craved that the A take notice and do something for me. One year he got drunk and took his friend out. I refused to go out with him when he was drunk. The next day he hosted a mother's day special for his mother and I went to it. That was some of the beginning of my detachment. I realis...	maresie	7	695	May 12, 2009 by Peggy7
	Few Alanon things you have learned and like best! (Preview) I was just wondering if you all would share a few things you learned in Alanon you liked best and have helped you work your program! Here are my couple: Trust HP (still working on it though) No or low expectations for A's or anyone for that matter Mind my own business and worry about ME and no one else!	Melissa21	11	1324	May 12, 2009 by gngcrzy
	This program really works! (Preview) So hubby is now into week 4 of trying to live a new life without alcohol. He started off really great after detox (going to AA 2 times a week, repeating the slogans etc..). I was encouraged, but kept in the back of my mind "Hope for the best, plan for the worst". So this weekend he decides to d...	MissyPoo	8	786	May 12, 2009 by Jerry F
	Dry Drunk Detachment & Getting Better at It Part II (Preview) Hi All, This is the sequel to my original post from about two weeks or so ago. My bf eventually came around to talk. He told me that he realized that he really hurt me and didn't treat me right and he also realized that he let my son down (as he promised my son that he would not hurt me). He told me that he felt hor...	Saved By Grace	1	910	May 11, 2009 by Jerry F
	hello I am new and so alone (Preview) My husband is in a treatment institution for substance abuse, I don't know what to say or do for him I feel really selfish Like its his fault for being there what SHould I say or do for him?I want to be supportive but this is my first time at this any help or encouragement or friendly support would be accecpt...	chefkim	10	1030	May 11, 2009 by Sincerely
	This program really does work! My share :)...Updated 3rd post!!! (Preview) I've only been here about 5 months, have a WONDERFUL sponsor, went to one f2f meeting and can see progress in ME! My A is also a sex addict and I think at his worse right now. People keep telling me Oh I saw him at this bar with this person...I do't even care. I know he is sleeping with 3 other people and you know...	Melissa21	11	1877	May 11, 2009 by Sincerely
	Looking for cheap Alanon books, delivery Australia? (Preview) We are looking for cheap Alanon books. Does anyone know where to purchase some cheap books with little transport expenses. These alanon books can be used or new, but must be cheap for purchase and transport? Mia	mia883	6	2763	May 11, 2009 by mia883
	Wishing I had heard this one 20 yrs ago (Preview) We are fortunate enough to have a 50 +yrs in program old timmer in our meeting who told this little joke the other nite So for moms who are homemakers with little ones this just might work for you, wish I had thought of this when I was alot younger. A young woman with 3 small children made sure that the home...	abbyal	6	556	May 11, 2009 by Andrea12
	seeing it for what it is, not what I want it to be... (Preview) Our family tradition on Mother's Day during our married years was to work in the yard. It was what I wanted, and a day that I could expect everyone to pitch in and help, and not feel the slightest bit guilty about it This year my exAH asked if he could have the kids for a while on Sat to prepare for Sun. I let the...	Loupiness	6	675	May 11, 2009 by Jozie
	DURING SEPARATION - SISTER IN LAW IS OUT OF CONTROL!!! (Preview) My AH and I have been separated about 8 weeks. He moved out after he believed he was sober and stopped going to AA as soon as he moved out. His sister who is 11 years younger LOVES being able to control him and spend all his time with her. They have NEVER been close in fact she is her parents biological child...	farmgirlmay	6	790	May 11, 2009 by maresie
	For my Mom (Preview) This is a reprint of a post I did several years ago for my Mom (Toni as she was called) on Mother's Day. For all my Alanon Moms. I love you all. *Mom,* *Even though we can't be together because God called you home when I was only 19, I wanted to thank you for still being there for me. Your life was far from perfect,...*	Karilynn	4	511	May 11, 2009 by Andrea12
	Moving--Again! (Preview) So...Scared. But ok. I got a job. In topeka. I'm moving. Again Yes. I'm scared. I'm scared of alot of things. But God bless america. I'm not dead yet. I'm not dead yet. I need y'all to remind me that I have the strength to do this again. Y'all got me through moving to KY. Things are different. My mom's fam...	Tiger2006	8	551	May 11, 2009 by maresie
	Ok I feel so stupid (Preview) I have not dated or even talked to any man since my AH. I have been alone for years now. So I go on this JW match site. sigh. NOT me to do this as you guys well know. I am in no way knowledgeable how to do this. I have always been persude. Did I spell that right? OK Chased. Being on my mountain the chances of meeting...	debilyn	15	732	May 11, 2009 by maresie
	My sweet Beagle is very sick; what next??? (Preview) Our sweet Beagle, Bonnie Lou is very sick and probably will not be with us much longer. She is 12 years old; has congestive heart failure and now has bronchitus. Took her to the vet this morning and spent a ton of money(I would spend my last dime) for her meds. She is coughing and coughing. Yes, dogs c...	clara	11	870	May 11, 2009 by maresie
	Monday, Monday :) (Preview) Hey y'all, I'm doing ok. Y'all made a huge difference yesterday. I need to add a PS to yesterday: So my stepfather called Su afternoon and mediates. he agrees that it's my life, my move, etc. He suggests that I'm stressed ( duh) and when I get stressed I get a little dictatorial (ok, I can get that) and t...	Tiger2006	2	849	May 11, 2009 by rosielightshines
	can I do both? (Preview) I am the daughter of an alcoholic. My boyfriend is also, in my definition, an alcoholic. I have noticed that in the past year, I might also be an alcoholic. However, when I went to an alanon meeting, I could relate to everything they were saying about the frustrations and the effects that growing up in an...	cidiera	8	856	May 11, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Baby steps today, but moving forward not backward... (Preview) Thanks to everyone who responded to my last post, where EXABF sent me the Mom's day card. I realize that I do not need to know WHY he did it, nor his motivation-as I doubt even he does. However he does know me well enough to know that I am ALL about manners, always have been, so I will reply with a sho...	shellyj123	3	720	May 11, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Oh the Ups and Downs (Preview) Last summer when things were getting increasingly difficult w/my teen son, my exAH started coming around more to help me with him. The more time we spent together, the more I realized I missed him. The good times with him. His laugh, his touch, his presence in general. I blame part of this on being a...	QOD	12	867	May 11, 2009 by QOD
	Need Help On Step 4 (Preview) I don't know how to even start . We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. How did you do it ? Please HELP !	peacewithin	8	4735	May 11, 2009 by kitty
	Awakening To Choices - Massachusetts Alanon Conference, May 15 - 17, 2009 (Preview) Just thought I would share for anyone/everyone who's from this area that next weekend is the Annual Massachusetts Alanon Conference "Awakening to Choices." If you are nearby, think about attending. The conferences are wonderful, a weekend of recovery with "those who understan...	Maria123	4	725	May 11, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Focus, focus hocus pocus (Preview) It's a wonderful magic trick, when I focus on you I disappear!	cichlid6	4	704	May 11, 2009 by RunnerChick
	O' happy day..with A mom and A hubby.. (Preview) today was sooo sweet. we've planned this all week. and it couldn't not have gone any better. my a hubby boiled seafood for my a mom and my bestfriend and me today. good food, good fun and good family.....o happy day sincerely, tonya	Sincerely	5	557	May 11, 2009 by Loupiness
	Alcoholic Behavior (Preview) Hi everyone - the first day of the beginning of my new life is here. I am going to school starting Monday. Two weeks and I will be able to tutor children who are dyslexic. I am really looking forward to this. I knew when I decided to do this, my husband would try to sabotague me. Well, I guess it is my HP throwin...	Robinks	9	596	May 11, 2009 by Robinks
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.