Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

chris123 · chris123

Well here goes nothing! my first post here. After 3 years of trying to get my partner to get sober and going through all the CRAP, she has now been sober for 9 months....happy times right? Not really, she is now acting well different. More distant, doesn't want to do anything with family. But will spend h...

wp · wp

Hi Karilynn, I left you a message but I think I messed up pretty majorly! Let me know if you find it? pw aka wp aka cynthia

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

My 20 year old daughter still lives at home with me. She will turn 21 this month. She is a good kid, holds down two jobs during the school year (she's a nanny for a school teacher-finished that job up last Friday), makes her car and insurance payments, and has her own horse she trained from scratch and care...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

One, my AH is livnig in an oxford house and looking for work with no luck. The other day he says he's scared and doesn't know how he's going to pay all the bills he has to pay (including child support which he has paid the last 2 months when he was working). My reply... welcome to the club... Two - my curre...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

all moved in - nothing is working right, started with the water being off, then the phone and cable don't work and the breakers trip for every thing plugged in to an outlet.... Not enough storage in any of the rooms and I miss my old house!!! I hate that I had to move. I spent all day cleaning yesterday a...

Jozie · Jozie

Here I Go... Turn the Page... "One of my Afathers favorite songs was Turn the Page.." Something I can't seem to do... "Turn the Page"... Well what a morning, my head as been so clogged here lately with the finishing of...That I can't seem to get my thoughts straight. I don't know i...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Last night I found my way back to journaling and found that it felt WONDERFUL to get things out and then to reread and actually be able to "see" things that others see when I write. I got away from it because of time/privacy issues (my son and I share a PC) Anyway my question is.......I have Mic...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I just received my first copy of The Forum in the mail today. I'm so excited! I wasn't expecting it to come in an envelope. I think I'll go outside and read a few pages. It's funny the things we get excited about, huh?

Rora · Rora

For those who don't know me, I am separated from my aH. We have a 5 yr old son. He has 2 older grown up kids. We've been together for 10 yrs. As I journey along, I find I have times of great confidence of moving onward with a life that does not include my aH on a romantic level. Those are times when i am most fr...

Buckles · Buckles

Hi everyone, I'm new to the boards. I'm actually getting married in a few days so I'm getting ready for the big day but at the same time, dealing with some unfortunate circumstances of my fiance. My fiance and I have been together for over 4 years, engaged for a year. When we first started dating, he was...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I think I am finally waking up! Literally! I have been asleep for so many years mentally that I am ready to wake up. I have had trouble sleeping for a long time but today I am awake & it is good! Even my Ah is helping me get it together. I have seen him through a lot too. Lately he has been getting used to...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello and Hugs, This disease makes sad. It's amazing all of the emotions this disease makes us go through. Right now I am sad. My heart and prayers go out to all of the people who have lost loved ones to this disease. Honestly, I never thought about losing someone to this disease. I've always envisi...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I've had anxiety all day today, but as soon as my meeting got started tonight, I slowly felt myself calming down. It was a wonderful feeling. One woman made a comment before the end of the meeting about fear and anxiety - she said that we are all strong individuals for reaching out, asking for help,...

java · java

I've had enough! I've posted on here before about my dry drunk husband and his controlling behaviors, but he went too far the other night and I think it's time to file for divorce. He followed me to my f2f meeting (which I didn't find out about until later) and then when I met with my sponsor at the park, ev...

maresie · maresie

When I first came into al anon years ago before I could embrace it, I heard people talking at a face to face meeting about not dealing with a drunk. One of the people who lives in my house is an alcoholic. On his birthday this last week he made sure he felt sorry for himself. He got drunk and was all over the...

clara · clara

Well, it's me again. Same old story. You guys will get so tired of me. I truly know what I should do about daughter. I know what I would be telling you guys if you were in my shoes, but here I am; with my head held down; tail between my legs(no that was my dog Bonnie Lou). Sorry, got to have a little humour. D...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

So last night my husband was at his AA meeting and I was getting my son ready for bed. We climbed into his bed to read stories and I suddenly felt winded. Of course that brought on some panic because I couldn't figure out why I should be winded. I worked through it as best I could with deep breaths and I as...

Jozie · Jozie

Well today was a bit of a drag'n day, I don't think I have seen but glimpses of Sunlight.. ALL Week!!! I am a girl that NEEDS Sun... Energy, power, the hole 9... Well make it thru today, got some things done was very grateful for that, then hubbie took me to dinner since I did all the Push mowing while he and th...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes I get my heart knocked out of joint when I think of all the friends in my life that have come and gone. Some of them really hurt me especially to let go of them. I am finally seeing that some friends only last for a season. I have had so many of those kinds of friends. But I guess that they have move...

Jozie · Jozie

Hey All :) Well lived thru yet another weekend, with lots of aleve, and an Al-anon book in each pocket, and my Serenity Prayer Bracelet & Ring...lol... Laugh Yes, but true... Well after Fridays kick in the teeth, I honestly didn't know what my husband would want to do, and I didn't really care to ask...

QOD · QOD

On Friday, my son asked if he could go to his karate class. I asked him to clean the kitchen and his room 1st and that I would be glad to take him. So he did what I asked and I took him to class. When I picked him up, he was in a great mood again. Thank goodness! Saturday morning, I was running around the house...

mamichula1019 · mamichula1019

Hello all - I have been searching the internet and just had the idea to search for a web forum for Al-Anon folks and in just reading 2 or 3 threads, i know i am in the right place. I have been with my fiance for 4 1/2 years. We have been engaged for 4 months. His drinking problem never became apparent to me until...

QOD · QOD

I am so frustrated with my teen son. He is sooo moody. The simplest things set him off. Tues and Wed were pretty good nights for us. He went to karate and had a good time. He came home in a great mood both nights. Yesterday we had his weekly court session where he stands in front of this great Drug Court...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Made it through the day without jumping on the Merry Go Round of Insanity. Did real well, kept my focus on HP's will for me and kept reminding myself that the insane behaviors were all an attempt by me to control, manipulate and play God......All part of my sickness. Got to my F2F meeting tonight feeli...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((Family))), This past week the Scripps National Spelling Bee took place. Now every year I watch. Every year I feel stupid! But I know I'm not. Every year I vow to improve my vocabulary so that one day I may complete the NY Times Sunday crossword without it taking me 3 weeks! This year after watching i...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

[gbig][spoiler] Hi MIP family! Long time no post, but definetly reading and learning still. Yesterday a great gift of new life came into our world. Our first grand baby boy. Mother and baby are doing well. My son is full of great love. The same love we feel for him. Many of you...

LadyStardust73 · LadyStardust73

Hey everyone. I'm new here, and I first want to say how great I think it is to have a place like this on the internet to help people cope. I hope this message isn't too long and I hope someone will read it because I really just need to get this off of my chest and finally tell someone about the emotional pain I ha...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I still find myself with the uncontrollable urge at times to contact EXABF, or to go to his Myspace page and snoop. Yes I said Snoop-lol.... I have been doing better at catching myself on occassion, but am looking for a quote that I can copy and paste on my PC's at home and work, so that when I look at that qu...

blender_girl · blender_girl

I was writing this in my journal and thought I would share it with you. Take what you like and leave the rest. As I was working on the pool this morning, it occurred to me that there are many aspects related to the upkeep of the pool that are parallel to taking care of myself. If I don't maintain the pool - br...

CajunsCheri · CajunsCheri

Can anyone please help me understand why I'm afraid my newly sober (23 days in rehab) AH, who is coming home on Thursday won't love me now that he's sober? I know it's irrational thinking. I know I should live today and not worry about tomorrow. But I realized driving home from visiting him today that he'...

Ness · Ness

My husband has just found, by accident, (we have not long moved into our new build house and he had to move some boxes around in my son's room) a quart bottle of vodka orange mix hidden behind some pictures, half full, and an empty vodka bottle. My A son (in recovery 8 weeks) has shown no sign of h...

mermaid88 · mermaid88

I am still fairly new to alanon and dealing personally with somebody with addiction. My drug addict/ alcoholic fiance took me home to visit his family this week, and while there, he said he was going to work on his sobriety. Instead, he worked on getting high the entire time we were there, avoided his...

clara · clara

I am so upset and angry, I am shaking. ADaughter is supposed to move in her apt. tomorrow. Her soon to be ex husband agreed to pay the apartment rent for one year. well move in date is tomorrow and guess what??? He has not paid a dime and will not answer the phone. So, who does daughter call??? Me of co...

Jozie · Jozie

Could my short fuse be another trait I have gathered from my Afather... Aurggggg... I was having a rather good morning.. No Drama, just get'n it done... I get a package from Fed-ex stating that it was shipped internationally??? So I open it, and find two CD's.. And a packing list... So I call the Number o...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok... Long short, I gave away afathers trailer, "Great DONE", also gave away the Nice shed that was with it... WELL... The land owners came over the other day when the lady was removing the trailer and said that "NO WAY" was she taking the Shed, it did not go with the trailer... She...

florida · florida

back from my evaluation - mind on alcohol took most of the day but we're home from my 2 hr evaluation (in addition to the 12 hr DUI 1st offense school) - i did end up speaking to the counselor and telling her some of my past - left here this morn not sure what way i was going to go with it - end result was not what i w...

florida · florida

lots of extra stress for the past 6-8 months - gained 20 lbs and it wont come back off hard to take care of myself physically when there is so much mental/emotional turmoil

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

Today I am struggling with all sorts of feelings. I managed to get out of the house and spoke with my sponsor and two of my closest recovery friends. I am going to sit down and have dinner and attend an open AA meeting tonight. I would be less than honest if I told you that I was really totally okay. I am not. I h...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Saturday is moving day. I am dreading it but at the same time looking forward to it being over. My entire life has been about packing and cleaning for the past month and I am so ready to have my other life back!!! My last move was a disaster I was not prepared and had barely any help. I feel pretty good abo...

maresie · maresie

Today I saw an old friend who used to be my neighbor 10 years ago. The entire time I knew him when I lived near him I over reacted to him day and night. I found him incredibly irritating, I thought condescening, and rigid. Today I saw him for a social call I have not seen him for probably 6 years as I was total...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

SO I brought some clothes and what not went back to the apartment to see if we could be alright and stay there without arguing too much and what not. Well his girlfriend is all psycho and got all jealous when I went back and constantly calls and doesn't let him spend any time there. She obviously doesn't tr...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

Hi Family, Things have changed a lot between my dry drunk bf and I over the last few weeks. I call him a dry drunk because he does not currently attend meetings and has never worked the steps although he says he is an AA for 18 yrs. Over the last few weeks he has been more committed to the relationship and has g...

Jozie · Jozie

I have had a great weekend, and once I got back to my every day Life, and away from camp... I have had time to think and reflect... I guess I am still struggling with the final things of my afathers belongings, I am DONE in a sense, that I don't have too worry about the trailer, but now i still have to go to the ba...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I've been noticing lately that we get an awful lot of newbie post-ers, who post once or twice, and then we never hear from them again.... Always wondered about what may or may not have happened.... are they not ready for recovery, have they found something else, did they get offended or were we not the r...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Not that I have a lot of experience in doing so, but it just feels weird. I keep thinking to myself what it will be like to never talk to EXABF again, or know what is going on in his life, etc. I know it's all for the best, and deep down I know it will get easier.....it always does when we have no contact.....I m...

QOD · QOD

When I got home yesterday from work, my son had his room clean and the dishes in the kitchen cleaned up. He was sitting on the porch when I pulled in. He was in a bit of a foul mood though, instantly making demands. "Mom, give me a bag I can put my karate stuff in." I asked him what was wrong w/th...

Rora · Rora

i've been thinking about control...my addiction to it. I like things my way. Predictable. I like being in charge. I like being the leader. Im not a good follower. this I know about myself. and I am consciously working on this. what I don't know is how to draw the line. or where to draw the line. how to let...

Rora · Rora

At this time in my life, where I am separated from my aH and making changes in my life I am finding that I am in need of new friendships. I work fulltime. Sit on a board of directors. I'm active in my community and do committee work and fundraising work. What I am realizing is that I really suck at making f...

QOD · QOD

Yep. I found myself saying that out loud this afternoon. I HATE MY LIFE!!! How sad is that? Very sad. Sure there are some positive things in my life but b/c of my son, I don't truly get to enjoy them. My daughter for instance. She is a major positive in my life. She is my little luv bug. But my life is...

newday · newday

My ever-texting exbf-A once again tried to get my attention this morning with an "I miss u" text. Once again...I could have chosen to not respond...which would have prompted more texts. Or, I could have text something about his new enabler girlfriend...which would have resulted in mean...

Jozie · Jozie

Just for today, I feel honored to have such a wonderful life, and family...I just made it thru a pretty trying weekend, not that I didn't have a wonderful time, because I did. But I got to try out some of my Al-anon tools in full force and I have to say... It felt pretty dang good :) Most of you have heard me spe...

ThisIsBlythe · ThisIsBlythe

I have been in alanon over two decades and have worked very hard on my program. I have come a LONG way since when I first started. I have gained a measure of serenity and peace, as much as I can have with chaos going on around me most of the time. I don't indulge in mind altering substances, so I am aware of w...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I have a lone person sponsorship who gets in touch my snail mail...it is a couple of months now and I have not heard from them...do I as a sponsor write to them or just leave it until they get back in touch? I answered the last letter they sent immediately as they were so distressed (I always respond as soon a...

angelchar375 · angelchar375

I have really been struggling with this lately. So maybe a few of you can weigh in on how you deal in situations like these. I know my AH is using. But, it is really hard for me to tell that he is high. He lies and pretends like everything is normal. I'm supposed to be the crazy one for thinking anything. In ala...

just_smile · just_smile

hey all...i'm new here, just stumbled across this site today after an annoying weekend. hope it's all right that i just jump right in with my problems... i could go on and on about all of the alcohol abuse in my family..but i'll try to sum it up. since July of 2008, I have had both my mother-in-law and my unc...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

Last night, my neighbors and dear friends had another "get together" which I always have a "carte blanche" invitation...I am like a member of the family Well "N's" big brother goes to many of these and yea, we have said "hello" and talked a bit but last nig...

maire rua · maire rua

I just been reading your posts and finding them so insightful. Thank you all. My post today concerns my A-Mother, deceased, she died of cancer. She had always maintained that she never knew her mother as a result of her illegitimacy. It was true in one way but not in all and in fact did know her and visited...

jrules611 · jrules611

So I am new to this forum, but I need some advice or at least some help with coping. I have been with my ABF for about a year. When I started dating him, he had been in recovery for over a year. He was kind, hilariously funny, and one of the smartest people i'd ever met. about 2 months ago, he relapsed. I did...

newday · newday

I've been trying really hard to stay detached from my ex-abf. I've posted some of the things that have happened in the past few weeks. He is with someone else now because I will not enable him to have a terrific life with me and still use. I received a text from him Friday..."I love u" was all it...

QOD · QOD

First I just wanted to say THANK YOU to all that responded to my Ruined Memorial Day Weekend post. All great ESH!! Much appreciated. So here is how my weekend panned out. The probation officer told my son that he had a choice to make. He could get out of Juvie on Friday BUT he had to go w/me to the beach on...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Lost (Preview) Well here goes nothing! my first post here. After 3 years of trying to get my partner to get sober and going through all the CRAP, she has now been sober for 9 months....happy times right? Not really, she is now acting well different. More distant, doesn't want to do anything with family. But will spend h...	chris123	8	863	Jun 3, 2009 by chris123
	For Karilynn (Preview) Hi Karilynn, I left you a message but I think I messed up pretty majorly! Let me know if you find it? pw aka wp aka cynthia	wp	1	573	Jun 3, 2009 by Karilynn
	The beauty of working a program for myself... (Preview) My 20 year old daughter still lives at home with me. She will turn 21 this month. She is a good kid, holds down two jobs during the school year (she's a nanny for a school teacher-finished that job up last Friday), makes her car and insurance payments, and has her own horse she trained from scratch and care...	Tenderheartsks	4	720	Jun 3, 2009 by Jerry F
	Two things... am I being unreasonable? (Preview) One, my AH is livnig in an oxford house and looking for work with no luck. The other day he says he's scared and doesn't know how he's going to pay all the bills he has to pay (including child support which he has paid the last 2 months when he was working). My reply... welcome to the club... Two - my curre...	carolinagirl	15	886	Jun 3, 2009 by debilyn
	ugh (Preview) all moved in - nothing is working right, started with the water being off, then the phone and cable don't work and the breakers trip for every thing plugged in to an outlet.... Not enough storage in any of the rooms and I miss my old house!!! I hate that I had to move. I spent all day cleaning yesterday a...	carolinagirl	6	695	Jun 3, 2009 by Loupiness
	Here I Go... Turn The Page... (Preview) Here I Go... Turn the Page... "One of my Afathers favorite songs was Turn the Page.." Something I can't seem to do... "Turn the Page"... Well what a morning, my head as been so clogged here lately with the finishing of...That I can't seem to get my thoughts straight. I don't know i...	Jozie	5	849	Jun 3, 2009 by Jerry F
	Question about journaling on PC...need some help (Preview) Last night I found my way back to journaling and found that it felt WONDERFUL to get things out and then to reread and actually be able to "see" things that others see when I write. I got away from it because of time/privacy issues (my son and I share a PC) Anyway my question is.......I have Mic...	shellyj123	7	673	Jun 2, 2009 by Jean4444
	The Forum (Preview) I just received my first copy of The Forum in the mail today. I'm so excited! I wasn't expecting it to come in an envelope. I think I'll go outside and read a few pages. It's funny the things we get excited about, huh?	N8SMOM	6	560	Jun 2, 2009 by Aloha
	Utter confusion...need ESH (Preview) For those who don't know me, I am separated from my aH. We have a 5 yr old son. He has 2 older grown up kids. We've been together for 10 yrs. As I journey along, I find I have times of great confidence of moving onward with a life that does not include my aH on a romantic level. Those are times when i am most fr...	Rora	9	635	Jun 2, 2009 by maresie
	Not Sure My Fiance is an Alcoholic but I Definitely Fit in At Al-Anon (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new to the boards. I'm actually getting married in a few days so I'm getting ready for the big day but at the same time, dealing with some unfortunate circumstances of my fiance. My fiance and I have been together for over 4 years, engaged for a year. When we first started dating, he was...	Buckles	9	657	Jun 2, 2009 by maresie
	WAKE UP! (Preview) I think I am finally waking up! Literally! I have been asleep for so many years mentally that I am ready to wake up. I have had trouble sleeping for a long time but today I am awake & it is good! Even my Ah is helping me get it together. I have seen him through a lot too. Lately he has been getting used to...	Hoot Nanny	2	680	Jun 2, 2009 by Jerry F
	This disease makes me sad!! (Preview) Hello and Hugs, This disease makes sad. It's amazing all of the emotions this disease makes us go through. Right now I am sad. My heart and prayers go out to all of the people who have lost loved ones to this disease. Honestly, I never thought about losing someone to this disease. I've always envisi...	Sincerely	5	906	Jun 2, 2009 by clara
	You gotta love f2f meetings (Preview) I've had anxiety all day today, but as soon as my meeting got started tonight, I slowly felt myself calming down. It was a wonderful feeling. One woman made a comment before the end of the meeting about fear and anxiety - she said that we are all strong individuals for reaching out, asking for help,...	N8SMOM	6	696	Jun 2, 2009 by N8SMOM
	I've had Enough! (Preview) I've had enough! I've posted on here before about my dry drunk husband and his controlling behaviors, but he went too far the other night and I think it's time to file for divorce. He followed me to my f2f meeting (which I didn't find out about until later) and then when I met with my sponsor at the park, ev...	java	9	818	Jun 2, 2009 by maresie
	not dealing with a drunk. (Preview) When I first came into al anon years ago before I could embrace it, I heard people talking at a face to face meeting about not dealing with a drunk. One of the people who lives in my house is an alcoholic. On his birthday this last week he made sure he felt sorry for himself. He got drunk and was all over the...	maresie	6	608	Jun 2, 2009 by maresie
	Ok, it's me again; same old thing as before (Preview) Well, it's me again. Same old story. You guys will get so tired of me. I truly know what I should do about daughter. I know what I would be telling you guys if you were in my shoes, but here I am; with my head held down; tail between my legs(no that was my dog Bonnie Lou). Sorry, got to have a little humour. D...	clara	9	901	Jun 2, 2009 by Christy
	You just have to laugh at it (Preview) So last night my husband was at his AA meeting and I was getting my son ready for bed. We climbed into his bed to read stories and I suddenly felt winded. Of course that brought on some panic because I couldn't figure out why I should be winded. I worked through it as best I could with deep breaths and I as...	N8SMOM	6	668	Jun 1, 2009 by N8SMOM
	A little Spirtitual Humor from above :) (Preview) Well today was a bit of a drag'n day, I don't think I have seen but glimpses of Sunlight.. ALL Week!!! I am a girl that NEEDS Sun... Energy, power, the hole 9... Well make it thru today, got some things done was very grateful for that, then hubbie took me to dinner since I did all the Push mowing while he and th...	Jozie	4	610	Jun 1, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Friends for a season (Preview) Sometimes I get my heart knocked out of joint when I think of all the friends in my life that have come and gone. Some of them really hurt me especially to let go of them. I am finally seeing that some friends only last for a season. I have had so many of those kinds of friends. But I guess that they have move...	Hoot Nanny	8	704	Jun 1, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	Completion Day :) May 31th 2009... 1 Day Early of my Goal :) (Preview) Hey All :) Well lived thru yet another weekend, with lots of aleve, and an Al-anon book in each pocket, and my Serenity Prayer Bracelet & Ring...lol... Laugh Yes, but true... Well after Fridays kick in the teeth, I honestly didn't know what my husband would want to do, and I didn't really care to ask...	Jozie	2	620	Jun 1, 2009 by hotrod
	Great Weekend!! (Preview) On Friday, my son asked if he could go to his karate class. I asked him to clean the kitchen and his room 1st and that I would be glad to take him. So he did what I asked and I took him to class. When I picked him up, he was in a great mood again. Thank goodness! Saturday morning, I was running around the house...	QOD	3	422	Jun 1, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Engaged and tired (Preview) Hello all - I have been searching the internet and just had the idea to search for a web forum for Al-Anon folks and in just reading 2 or 3 threads, i know i am in the right place. I have been with my fiance for 4 1/2 years. We have been engaged for 4 months. His drinking problem never became apparent to me until...	mamichula1019	10	863	Jun 1, 2009 by MBJ
	Frustration (Preview) I am so frustrated with my teen son. He is sooo moody. The simplest things set him off. Tues and Wed were pretty good nights for us. He went to karate and had a good time. He came home in a great mood both nights. Yesterday we had his weekly court session where he stands in front of this great Drug Court...	QOD	13	956	Jun 1, 2009 by QOD
	Just plain confused~Feel like I am fighting a loosing battle~In need of some ESH.... (Preview) Made it through the day without jumping on the Merry Go Round of Insanity. Did real well, kept my focus on HP's will for me and kept reminding myself that the insane behaviors were all an attempt by me to control, manipulate and play God......All part of my sickness. Got to my F2F meeting tonight feeli...	shellyj123	13	885	May 31, 2009 by serendipity
	Recovery & The National Spelling Bee (Preview) (((Family))), This past week the Scripps National Spelling Bee took place. Now every year I watch. Every year I feel stupid! But I know I'm not. Every year I vow to improve my vocabulary so that one day I may complete the NY Times Sunday crossword without it taking me 3 weeks! This year after watching i...	Karilynn	7	976	May 31, 2009 by clara
	Great joy - one of the "ups" in the "ups and downs". (Preview) [gbig][spoiler] Hi MIP family! Long time no post, but definetly reading and learning still. Yesterday a great gift of new life came into our world. Our first grand baby boy. Mother and baby are doing well. My son is full of great love. The same love we feel for him. Many of you...	Rocky38	8	817	May 31, 2009 by clara
	So sick of feeling like this :( (Preview) Hey everyone. I'm new here, and I first want to say how great I think it is to have a place like this on the internet to help people cope. I hope this message isn't too long and I hope someone will read it because I really just need to get this off of my chest and finally tell someone about the emotional pain I ha...	LadyStardust73	7	818	May 31, 2009 by LadyStardust73
	Looking for a quote~ (Preview) I still find myself with the uncontrollable urge at times to contact EXABF, or to go to his Myspace page and snoop. Yes I said Snoop-lol.... I have been doing better at catching myself on occassion, but am looking for a quote that I can copy and paste on my PC's at home and work, so that when I look at that qu...	shellyj123	8	746	May 31, 2009 by kitty
	Zen and the Art of Swimming Pool Maintenance (Preview) I was writing this in my journal and thought I would share it with you. Take what you like and leave the rest. As I was working on the pool this morning, it occurred to me that there are many aspects related to the upkeep of the pool that are parallel to taking care of myself. If I don't maintain the pool - br...	blender_girl	6	934	May 31, 2009 by Mariner
	Fear He won't love me now that he's sober... (Preview) Can anyone please help me understand why I'm afraid my newly sober (23 days in rehab) AH, who is coming home on Thursday won't love me now that he's sober? I know it's irrational thinking. I know I should live today and not worry about tomorrow. But I realized driving home from visiting him today that he'...	CajunsCheri	14	3780	May 30, 2009 by rosielightshines
	My Ason is relapsing....help please..... lots of ES&H needed (Preview) My husband has just found, by accident, (we have not long moved into our new build house and he had to move some boxes around in my son's room) a quart bottle of vodka orange mix hidden behind some pictures, half full, and an empty vodka bottle. My A son (in recovery 8 weeks) has shown no sign of h...	Ness	14	883	May 30, 2009 by Ness
	Sitting at the Airport (Preview) I am still fairly new to alanon and dealing personally with somebody with addiction. My drug addict/ alcoholic fiance took me home to visit his family this week, and while there, he said he was going to work on his sobriety. Instead, he worked on getting high the entire time we were there, avoided his...	mermaid88	4	1109	May 30, 2009 by abbyal
	Should have seen this coming--never so angry in my life!!!! (Preview) I am so upset and angry, I am shaking. ADaughter is supposed to move in her apt. tomorrow. Her soon to be ex husband agreed to pay the apartment rent for one year. well move in date is tomorrow and guess what??? He has not paid a dime and will not answer the phone. So, who does daughter call??? Me of co...	clara	13	909	May 30, 2009 by Karilynn
	My Short Fuse... (Preview) Could my short fuse be another trait I have gathered from my Afather... Aurggggg... I was having a rather good morning.. No Drama, just get'n it done... I get a package from Fed-ex stating that it was shipped internationally??? So I open it, and find two CD's.. And a packing list... So I call the Number o...	Jozie	3	630	May 30, 2009 by maresie
	So it Continues...Aurggggg (Preview) Ok... Long short, I gave away afathers trailer, "Great DONE", also gave away the Nice shed that was with it... WELL... The land owners came over the other day when the lady was removing the trailer and said that "NO WAY" was she taking the Shed, it did not go with the trailer... She...	Jozie	4	690	May 29, 2009 by Sincerely
	thank you Tiger (Preview) back from my evaluation - mind on alcohol took most of the day but we're home from my 2 hr evaluation (in addition to the 12 hr DUI 1st offense school) - i did end up speaking to the counselor and telling her some of my past - left here this morn not sure what way i was going to go with it - end result was not what i w...	florida	1	504	May 29, 2009 by Tiger2006
	all the stress is affecting me physically (Preview) lots of extra stress for the past 6-8 months - gained 20 lbs and it wont come back off hard to take care of myself physically when there is so much mental/emotional turmoil	florida	9	895	May 29, 2009 by peacewithin
	Closure (Preview) Today I am struggling with all sorts of feelings. I managed to get out of the house and spoke with my sponsor and two of my closest recovery friends. I am going to sit down and have dinner and attend an open AA meeting tonight. I would be less than honest if I told you that I was really totally okay. I am not. I h...	Saved By Grace	1	618	May 29, 2009 by Jerry F
	Moving day is upon me (Preview) Saturday is moving day. I am dreading it but at the same time looking forward to it being over. My entire life has been about packing and cleaning for the past month and I am so ready to have my other life back!!! My last move was a disaster I was not prepared and had barely any help. I feel pretty good abo...	carolinagirl	5	697	May 29, 2009 by Loupiness
	Controlling and over reacting (Preview) Today I saw an old friend who used to be my neighbor 10 years ago. The entire time I knew him when I lived near him I over reacted to him day and night. I found him incredibly irritating, I thought condescening, and rigid. Today I saw him for a social call I have not seen him for probably 6 years as I was total...	maresie	11	577	May 28, 2009 by wildthang86
	Not going back..tried it past couple days.. (Preview) SO I brought some clothes and what not went back to the apartment to see if we could be alright and stay there without arguing too much and what not. Well his girlfriend is all psycho and got all jealous when I went back and constantly calls and doesn't let him spend any time there. She obviously doesn't tr...	Melissa21	9	831	May 28, 2009 by Inpain
	Confrontation & Taking Care of "ME" (Preview) Hi Family, Things have changed a lot between my dry drunk bf and I over the last few weeks. I call him a dry drunk because he does not currently attend meetings and has never worked the steps although he says he is an AA for 18 yrs. Over the last few weeks he has been more committed to the relationship and has g...	Saved By Grace	11	1177	May 28, 2009 by Saved By Grace
	Searching for ESH, and maybe a push! (Preview) I have had a great weekend, and once I got back to my every day Life, and away from camp... I have had time to think and reflect... I guess I am still struggling with the final things of my afathers belongings, I am DONE in a sense, that I don't have too worry about the trailer, but now i still have to go to the ba...	Jozie	9	755	May 28, 2009 by kitty
	I wonder what happens..... curiosity..... (Preview) I've been noticing lately that we get an awful lot of newbie post-ers, who post once or twice, and then we never hear from them again.... Always wondered about what may or may not have happened.... are they not ready for recovery, have they found something else, did they get offended or were we not the r...	canadianguy	13	943	May 28, 2009 by QOD
	Letting go feels weird~ (Preview) Not that I have a lot of experience in doing so, but it just feels weird. I keep thinking to myself what it will be like to never talk to EXABF again, or know what is going on in his life, etc. I know it's all for the best, and deep down I know it will get easier.....it always does when we have no contact.....I m...	shellyj123	9	685	May 28, 2009 by serendipity
	Last night turned out to be a pretty good night! (Preview) When I got home yesterday from work, my son had his room clean and the dishes in the kitchen cleaned up. He was sitting on the porch when I pulled in. He was in a bit of a foul mood though, instantly making demands. "Mom, give me a bag I can put my karate stuff in." I asked him what was wrong w/th...	QOD	6	830	May 28, 2009 by QOD
	the facade of control... (Preview) i've been thinking about control...my addiction to it. I like things my way. Predictable. I like being in charge. I like being the leader. Im not a good follower. this I know about myself. and I am consciously working on this. what I don't know is how to draw the line. or where to draw the line. how to let...	Rora	9	534	May 27, 2009 by maresie
	Making friends... (Preview) At this time in my life, where I am separated from my aH and making changes in my life I am finding that I am in need of new friendships. I work fulltime. Sit on a board of directors. I'm active in my community and do committee work and fundraising work. What I am realizing is that I really suck at making f...	Rora	6	665	May 27, 2009 by maresie
	Today, I HATE my life!!! (Preview) Yep. I found myself saying that out loud this afternoon. I HATE MY LIFE!!! How sad is that? Very sad. Sure there are some positive things in my life but b/c of my son, I don't truly get to enjoy them. My daughter for instance. She is a major positive in my life. She is my little luv bug. But my life is...	QOD	9	730	May 27, 2009 by Jean4444
	Another "boundary" test passed! (Preview) My ever-texting exbf-A once again tried to get my attention this morning with an "I miss u" text. Once again...I could have chosen to not respond...which would have prompted more texts. Or, I could have text something about his new enabler girlfriend...which would have resulted in mean...	newday	6	716	May 27, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Just for Today :) (Preview) Just for today, I feel honored to have such a wonderful life, and family...I just made it thru a pretty trying weekend, not that I didn't have a wonderful time, because I did. But I got to try out some of my Al-anon tools in full force and I have to say... It felt pretty dang good :) Most of you have heard me spe...	Jozie	2	617	May 27, 2009 by Jozie
	Alcoholism a blessing for us? (Preview) I have been in alanon over two decades and have worked very hard on my program. I have come a LONG way since when I first started. I have gained a measure of serenity and peace, as much as I can have with chaos going on around me most of the time. I don't indulge in mind altering substances, so I am aware of w...	ThisIsBlythe	12	872	May 27, 2009 by java
	Sponsoring...question... (Preview) I have a lone person sponsorship who gets in touch my snail mail...it is a couple of months now and I have not heard from them...do I as a sponsor write to them or just leave it until they get back in touch? I answered the last letter they sent immediately as they were so distressed (I always respond as soon a...	Suzannah	4	528	May 26, 2009 by rosielightshines
	how to avoid denial and detach at the same time? (Preview) I have really been struggling with this lately. So maybe a few of you can weigh in on how you deal in situations like these. I know my AH is using. But, it is really hard for me to tell that he is high. He lies and pretends like everything is normal. I'm supposed to be the crazy one for thinking anything. In ala...	angelchar375	4	852	May 26, 2009 by RunnerChick
	alcoholics overload (Preview) hey all...i'm new here, just stumbled across this site today after an annoying weekend. hope it's all right that i just jump right in with my problems... i could go on and on about all of the alcohol abuse in my family..but i'll try to sum it up. since July of 2008, I have had both my mother-in-law and my unc...	just_smile	8	414	May 26, 2009 by Jozie
	What would you guys have done???? NEED ESH (Preview) Last night, my neighbors and dear friends had another "get together" which I always have a "carte blanche" invitation...I am like a member of the family Well "N's" big brother goes to many of these and yea, we have said "hello" and talked a bit but last nig...	rosielightshines	13	1274	May 26, 2009 by maresie
	Forgiveness of denial and enabling (Preview) I just been reading your posts and finding them so insightful. Thank you all. My post today concerns my A-Mother, deceased, she died of cancer. She had always maintained that she never knew her mother as a result of her illegitimacy. It was true in one way but not in all and in fact did know her and visited...	maire rua	2	774	May 26, 2009 by maresie
	Afraid for his life... and mine (Preview) So I am new to this forum, but I need some advice or at least some help with coping. I have been with my ABF for about a year. When I started dating him, he had been in recovery for over a year. He was kind, hilariously funny, and one of the smartest people i'd ever met. about 2 months ago, he relapsed. I did...	jrules611	8	858	May 26, 2009 by maresie
	Progress...not perfection. (Preview) I've been trying really hard to stay detached from my ex-abf. I've posted some of the things that have happened in the past few weeks. He is with someone else now because I will not enable him to have a terrific life with me and still use. I received a text from him Friday..."I love u" was all it...	newday	8	673	May 26, 2009 by Jozie
	Update on my Memorial Day Weekend (Preview) First I just wanted to say THANK YOU to all that responded to my Ruined Memorial Day Weekend post. All great ESH!! Much appreciated. So here is how my weekend panned out. The probation officer told my son that he had a choice to make. He could get out of Juvie on Friday BUT he had to go w/me to the beach on...	QOD	2	592	May 26, 2009 by barisax
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.