Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Baffled · Baffled

So far so good. It' been almost 3 years since my first Al-Anon meeting 11/06 and 2 years online as well. Not so long compared to many veterans. Not that I'm getting complacent because I know there is so much more for me to do. It's taken this long just to cut through some of my denial and really start to under...

Katy · Katy

I married someone that I thought I could fix, I married someone that I thought would work hard at wanting to work hard at buliding a life together, note the (I)! It was all about what I wanted, what I thought I should have, fast forward 29 years +, It was very selfish of me to think I had that control over anot...

Jozie · Jozie

Hey Guys :) Sorry I have been vacant here lately... I have been having DAILY Headaches that have been limiting my Computer time.. I work at a computer all day, and most evennings My Head hurts so bad I can't seem to get on... I am sure "this too Shall Pass" but it has really weighed me to death it s...

layneee · layneee

HELLO... IM NEW TO ALL OF THIS, AND THIS IS MY FIRST POST. IM HOPING TO GAIN SOME INSIGHT ON THE FEELINGS THAT I HAVE BEEN HAVING. WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 2 YEARS AND WITHIN THOSE 2 YEARS, THERE HAVE BEEN 5 HOSPITAL STAYS (ALL DUE TO ALCOHOL RELATED ISSUES) OF COURSE , IN THE BEGINNING OF THE RELATIONSHIP I...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

There was a post by smartkat recently about favorite personal slogans. I just heard one that is a new favorite, but everything that touches me and works is a favorite :). "Al-anon Won" A member was sharing at a recent F2F that she heard another member sharing about the alcoholic in her life a...

Ness · Ness

After 21 days of a 28 day recovery programme my Ason is back living rough on the street. My daughter spoke to him this morning thinking he was still in rehab but he told her he was drinking and was going to continue drinking. I havent contacted him.....Please keep him in your prayers.Love Ness x

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), Good morning. As most of you know my brother-in-law is sitting in jail b/c he got caught making meth. According to my oldest niece (who actually has talked to him) he's doing okay. He's accepting responsibilty for his actions. He actually turned down bail b/c he knows it's not sa...

maresie · maresie

I know this latest catastrophe with the stolen check has made me have to look at how I live. I simply can't go around in a sea of resentment anymore. At the same time, my boundaries need a lot of reinforcement and work. I also know that I have to learn to make the best of what I have. There is no question thes...

Bluelady · Bluelady

I just lost my father to Alzhiemers. I was his caregiver for 6 years. I don't know what I would have done without my on line support group. We shared, we supported each other and sometimes just said we understood. This is what I thought this group would be like. I live in a small rural area and meeting is at...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Today I have a new attitude, I feel resolved, like I am finished with trying to convince my ex bf to come back or that he still feels something or that our love is the right thing, etc. etc. etc. Even if it's true it doesn't matter anymore. I have felt this way before so I am wary. I really feel that I just do...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((Hello Friends)))))))), Well today was one of those days when you think the world is ending, I got a letter in the mail stating I was about to lose my home....here my husband did not pay the taxes in 2005 and it was going up for sale....well by t he grace of GOD I got a back payment in the mail today fr...

alanonicScotland · alanonicScotland

just wondered. I like listening :)

alanonicScotland · alanonicScotland

First, can anyone tell me the name of that new CAL book that has a lot of new readings and sup-posedly adult child stuff? I saw one recently and haven;t since and would like ot get one - pinkish or purple cover as I recall... quick share: I am SO sad abotu the state of meetings where I am. They are really, gene...

gardenia1 · gardenia1

Hello. Im looking for a bit of guidance. I am a mother of two young children and both of my parents became late-in-life alcohlics. After a dramatic confrontation that lasted days and involved suicide threats, verbal abuse, etc --both of my parents joined AA and received private counseling as wel...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I am filled with gratitude and very blessed, but the past couple of weeks have left me repeatedly feeling off and struggling to stay on track. Though this is my favorite time of year, it also holds memories from the past and difficult times filled with hurt, times that come back to mind even more so thi...

Shellybelly · Shellybelly

hello my name is shell, and my father is a alcoholic. i have never before been in a aa meeting but a friend has encouraged me to join. i suffer from severe depression and ptsd due to my father. he is very abusive when he is drunk and i have recently have ad to move outta home cause he told me to jump in the river a...

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

Hello Friends, Well, it finally happened, my A stopped drinking, although a raging (in more than one sense of the word) dry drunk. It happened about a year ago. Before alanon, I used to look up all the bad things that happen to severe drunks (as in daily drinking to the point of blackout, YIKES) and try...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well, the fallout came from the can of worms I opened with the ex. Just when I think I'm done I'm cutting off all contact there he is again and I'm sure he feels the same about me. I wish we could just be civil to eachother, be friends and nothing more at this point. I don't know if it's possible but I guess a...

MissyPoo · MissyPoo

I decided to go tho the poilice station this morning to report the threats my AH had made against myself and my children. I was thinking this would be a 1/2 an hour, report the incident, get some advice on what to do when and if I do decide to leave and that be it. OH BOY, was I wrong. Turns out, here in Ontar...

Gailey · Gailey

My son will be in rehab 1 week tomorrow. He seems really good when I talk to him. He has been voted to be the community director (the go to guy as he called it) because he can get along with everyone. Last night a councelor ask him if he would be a guest speaker for guys who come in for only the weekend. I was surp...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

It has been said that we are drawn to alcoholics because they make US feel good about ourselves. That when we take care of them,complain about what they do,it makes US feel superior. I have seen this in myself but not just with alcoholics.I will carry on at work about how stupid people are, which I guess I...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I AM BEGINNING TO SEE MORE & MORE THAT I HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS! I AM PROBABLY POSTING TOO MUCH BUT THEN AGAIN, I CAN ONLY GET TO THE COMPUTER 3 OR 4 DAYS A WEEK FOR ONE HOUR A DAY! I GUESS I AM ALWAYS "SECOND GUESSING" MYSELF, TOO! TOO MUCH TIME TO THINK. I HAVE BEEN TRYING HOBBIES A LIT...

TF · TF

My therapist suggested that my AH and I sit down and discuss openly the resentments we have for each other. In my past therapy sessions we have been discussing how the past has hurt me and how i am having a hard time letting go of it. She suggested we do this and warned it would be painful. I brought it up t...

Bluelady · Bluelady

I posted last week for the first time when I learned my daughter has a drinking problem. She lives in another town and kept it well hiden, until her husband told us. She is in outpatient program now. First meeting was last Sat. My question is: is there anything I can say or do to help her in this journey or an...

Suzannah · Suzannah

It has to be said that there are unsung heros on this board and I for one want to recognise them. They are the people who dedicate time and effort and work "backstage" for the good of others. We are so lucky here to have such people on this board to keep it safe from abuse. MIP has played an enormo...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well after a day yesterday of feeling off and making a BIG mistake at work, and having to work over to fix it all, I decided to make today a "me" day and took the day off to try and gather myself together a bit. I have been feeling off and struggling all week and it is showing in every area of my life...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Spent much of this weekend not feeling well, so while lying around I had some time to reflect on things a bit. I never sit still, have the hardest time with it and this weekend I had no choice.......think HP really just wanted me to slow down and take care of me for a bit. Before AlAnon I would have felt trem...

ditto · ditto

I need some of your thoughts and experience please. The situation is that I was happily married for 18 years to my first husband. He died. Five years later I married my second husband. I had no idea he was an a. I figure it out in the 3rd month of our marriage. By the 6th month of our marriage the verbal a...

SWgal · SWgal

Hi all. I am new here and pretty hopeless that things in my life will get any better, but coming to sites like this and reading about other people in the same situation as me makes me feel less alone. I am married to an alcoholic. We have two young children. AH's behavior is getting worse and worse. He drin...

Citizen · Citizen

First pardon my misuse of lingo. Still learning it. the background: (optional reading lol) I've been seeing a therapist to deal with the mess my life has become, and as I get everything straight one of the things i have to deal with is my marriage. As the story goes, I had to hit rock bottom before I'd...

Va · Va

Roomate loves to drink and use pills, (wine beer, booze). It is all good. Any suggestions? Wouldn't mind so much if didn't have effect on the household. Has affected work, friends, all for decades. However, nothing is her fault, and all others are at fault.

MissyPoo · MissyPoo

Thanks again to everyone for your prayers.., I have posted an update in the chain below... Knowing you are all here telling me I am not crazy is a BIG HELP. AH has rounded up the troops in his support and has the neighbours, his family etc, thinking I am some crazed dusgruntled wife getting ready to lea...

debilyn · debilyn

It really is unnerving to see a person you have known all your life, not be anything like they were. Even when he used before, he is nothing like that drunk anymore at all either. Have learned to detach so well I forget to go visit him in prison. I don't grieve for him or think about him anymore. I am so glad, e...

uptheleft · uptheleft

Hi everyone and thank you for this wonderful website and all the support you give. I have not gone to any meetings yet and have only recently thought about becoming involved in anything like this. I am 30 years old, married with a 2 month old boy. My father is an alcoholic and has been since I can remember...

Cashey100 · Cashey100

I need help. I'm in a dysfunctional relationship with my Mom and Dad. I'm a 30 year old guy who is having trouble setting boundaries and having a normal relationship with them. I am currently on a "vacation" staying in my hometown for the next few days. My parents are older (mid 60s) and the...

ImSoTired · ImSoTired

This is my second posting. I am in the process of re-working the steps...well I am just now starting again anyways. I have had just an awful day dealing with my A. I have had many slip ups where I have yelled at him because he was annoying me, or bullying the kids. How can I not defend them...and myself? ...

Gailey · Gailey

was on step 4. I have really never done a step 4 yet. Last night someone spoke on envy. I guess I really never thought of that as being a character flaw but my eyes were open to it then. I, too, am envious of families that seem to have it all together...talking about their grown kids's jobs, where they are goi...

hmunkster · hmunkster

Hi everyone! This is my first time posting. I've never been to an Al-Anon meeting, but friends have told me I should go. For some reason I'm hesitant. My husband has been hiding alcohol and drinking in secret off and on during the 10 years we've been married. He goes through periods of months where he sto...

Rora · Rora

Lately I've been questioning myself about my decisions about my separation from my exaH. It'll be a year that we've been separated so I can legally file for divorce, if that's what I choose. But the questions have all been so invasive in my mind... Is this what I want? Is this what I need? Is there rea...

Suzannah · Suzannah

" God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change Courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference. " The more I say this prayer the more I find myself reaching out for it and living it. It feels like it is beginning to really soak in through every pore in my b...

maresie · maresie

The other night I met a local artist in the park. We had a lovely conversation and it was nice to talk to someone who is cultured and articulate. At the same time what stood out for me in the conversation was that he said he had a drinking issue. In fact he made a real big deal of the fact I didn't drink. In the...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, Last night something amazing happened for me. There is a woman at my F2F who is putting on a seminar on her own and has been passing around a flyer at our F2F during the meeting when we make announcements. I have wanted to say something because it is alanon sanctioned and should be announced bef...

MyThoughts2U2 · MyThoughts2U2

So here I sit on my last day on the job where I have worked for 4 years. A new adventure is ready to begin and I still am just stuck on the next move for me. I have tried to see which direction my HP is pointing with no clear answer. Probably there have been signs, but I missed them of course! I have to have faith th...

Gailey · Gailey

how can you ever move on and begin a new life without them. I know this is going to sound like a self pity post but every time I read a post from a spouse that has separated from their A and has gone on to live a better life, met someone new, maybe got married and could leave that A life behind I do find myself bein...

ImSoTired · ImSoTired

My name is Wendy and I am the mother of one. I am surrounded by alcoholics which is what finds me here. I am new to this board, and let me tell you how happy I am to have finally got the courage to come. I attended a couple local Alanon meetings earlier this year and it really helped, but my boyfriend found ou...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((Family))), Just wanted to take a few moments and wish you all a HAPPY FALL! I love the changing of the seasons. This is surely HP in all his/her glory. The leaves have already started to change here in the northeast. It's apple picking time. The apples are sweeter than ever and they are expectin...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I am really struggling lately, badly. I believe A LOT of it is the time of year....it's a really hard time of year for me (sad because Fall is my all time FAVORITE SEASON!!), and I can feel it getting harder daily, and I'm afraid to be honest. I know HP is here with me and by my side and I can't loose sight of t...

lonewolfmama · lonewolfmama

Although it is the middle of the night I cannot sleep. I am so thankful for this message board full of like souls for helping to remind me how crazy it can SEEM when in an alcoholic relationship. As a public figure in a very small community, it's hard to get f2f or alanon meetings and the support of the folk...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Turns out I was a little sick and got a lot sicker. I have been home in bed for two days solid nobody to take care of me... and today back at work but feeling miserable. Still better than I was but not really well enough to be here. I didn't have the sick time to take the last two days off tho. In my highly med...

MyThoughts2U2 · MyThoughts2U2

Does anyone have any thoughts on the 3rd and 11th steps and how to apply them in times of difficulty?

MissyPoo · MissyPoo

I have been reading (and re-reading) Getting them Sober. One of the chapters came into play full force for me last weekend. "Don't beg them to Stay" I had been noticing that my AH had been going to less and less AA meetings and more and more I saw signs that he had been drinking. I ignored all...

tkyater2003 · tkyater2003

my email is (Personal Email and phone number removed) thnk u all i need u alllllllllllllllll need u all putor down and so am i down Please PM Terri if you would like her personal email address and phone number. They have been removed from this public post. - tlcate -- Edited by tlcate on Thursday 24th of S...

lucky · lucky

I am stuck. I cannot figure out how to productively find the lines that separate this disease from one's personal responsibility. I understand that alcoholism is a disease. I understand that many of the things that have happened are just going to linger, or I am going to have to let them go. I have to for...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello and Hugs Everyone, I have many mixed emotions right now. Just letting them be, I am really not trying to figure them out. I saw my A Hubby for the first time in 3 1/2 weeks since I made him leave. He stopped at my office to pick up mapquest directions to the rehab facility he has finally decided to giv...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

What do I do? Is she helpless? I am sitting here next to her trying to get into the computer--she is not able to do anything without help! I am so frustrated! I guess sometimes some people can't get into their emails without some kind of help. Maybe she will never be computer--savvy? I need support! he...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hi folks, Just what I needed and I did as I promised. Prayers offered up for all of you...not just the ones who had asked for them. So many people asking for prayers and needing them right now. I attended a horrendous medical this morning and came away feeling like the lowest form of pond life. Sick of PAI...

woopsadaisy · woopsadaisy

Ok. My way isn't working out so hot. The idea I had implanted that I am master of my own destiny lent itself to a lot of manipulations of facts, and some distortions of reality. The consequence of this was that while oft times, I DID get to where I wanted to go, I was mislead into thinking I was somehow more &q...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Why have I got something that looks like a stick of dynamite against my Topic tile? on my previous post? AND THIS ONE? Suz -- Edited by Suzannah on Wednesday 23rd of September 2009 10:46:30 AM

mominneed · mominneed

I did have a rough day yesterday and can feel the pent-up stress slowly leaving my body. I made it to my 2nd Al Anon meeting last night-this one was wonderful. We spoke of gratitude and being grateful for small things each day. I have slept better the last 2 nights (although did throw up yesterday a.m....

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

I was talking with a few program friends when this subject sorta came up. One friend was discussing how she has learned to "take care of me (hereself) by dressing up, and really glamming up, as well as by learning to stand up for herself and no longer let people walk all over her. She mentioned an un...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Getting better (Preview) So far so good. It' been almost 3 years since my first Al-Anon meeting 11/06 and 2 years online as well. Not so long compared to many veterans. Not that I'm getting complacent because I know there is so much more for me to do. It's taken this long just to cut through some of my denial and really start to under...	Baffled	3	702	Oct 1, 2009 by Jerry F
	All I did wrong was? to chose someone to marry for all the wrong reasons! (Preview) I married someone that I thought I could fix, I married someone that I thought would work hard at wanting to work hard at buliding a life together, note the (I)! It was all about what I wanted, what I thought I should have, fast forward 29 years +, It was very selfish of me to think I had that control over anot...	Katy	6	813	Oct 1, 2009 by drucilla06
	Alcoholism...Strikes again... (Preview) Hey Guys :) Sorry I have been vacant here lately... I have been having DAILY Headaches that have been limiting my Computer time.. I work at a computer all day, and most evennings My Head hurts so bad I can't seem to get on... I am sure "this too Shall Pass" but it has really weighed me to death it s...	Jozie	8	1015	Oct 1, 2009 by Jozie
	31 YR OLD BF WITH CIRRHOSIS AND STILL DRINKING (Preview) HELLO... IM NEW TO ALL OF THIS, AND THIS IS MY FIRST POST. IM HOPING TO GAIN SOME INSIGHT ON THE FEELINGS THAT I HAVE BEEN HAVING. WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 2 YEARS AND WITHIN THOSE 2 YEARS, THERE HAVE BEEN 5 HOSPITAL STAYS (ALL DUE TO ALCOHOL RELATED ISSUES) OF COURSE , IN THE BEGINNING OF THE RELATIONSHIP I...	layneee	12	1583	Oct 1, 2009 by Jerry F
	Smartkat, this is for you well and for the rest of the family here ;) (Preview) There was a post by smartkat recently about favorite personal slogans. I just heard one that is a new favorite, but everything that touches me and works is a favorite :). "Al-anon Won" A member was sharing at a recent F2F that she heard another member sharing about the alcoholic in her life a...	Mandy123	0	550	Sep 30, 2009 by Mandy123
	He only made it to 21 days this time....... (Preview) After 21 days of a 28 day recovery programme my Ason is back living rough on the street. My daughter spoke to him this morning thinking he was still in rehab but he told her he was drinking and was going to continue drinking. I havent contacted him.....Please keep him in your prayers.Love Ness x	Ness	11	730	Sep 30, 2009 by Ness
	Letter to my BIL. (Preview) ((((Family)))), Good morning. As most of you know my brother-in-law is sitting in jail b/c he got caught making meth. According to my oldest niece (who actually has talked to him) he's doing okay. He's accepting responsibilty for his actions. He actually turned down bail b/c he knows it's not sa...	Karilynn	9	689	Sep 30, 2009 by Andrea12
	Treading lightly in the world (Preview) I know this latest catastrophe with the stolen check has made me have to look at how I live. I simply can't go around in a sea of resentment anymore. At the same time, my boundaries need a lot of reinforcement and work. I also know that I have to learn to make the best of what I have. There is no question thes...	maresie	5	740	Sep 30, 2009 by Andrea12
	I think you are right (Preview) I just lost my father to Alzhiemers. I was his caregiver for 6 years. I don't know what I would have done without my on line support group. We shared, we supported each other and sometimes just said we understood. This is what I thought this group would be like. I live in a small rural area and meeting is at...	Bluelady	8	796	Sep 30, 2009 by Andrea12
	New attitude...today (Preview) Today I have a new attitude, I feel resolved, like I am finished with trying to convince my ex bf to come back or that he still feels something or that our love is the right thing, etc. etc. etc. Even if it's true it doesn't matter anymore. I have felt this way before so I am wary. I really feel that I just do...	carolinagirl	6	552	Sep 30, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Just when you think there is no hope.....Life suprises you (Preview) (((((((((Hello Friends)))))))), Well today was one of those days when you think the world is ending, I got a letter in the mail stating I was about to lose my home....here my husband did not pay the taxes in 2005 and it was going up for sale....well by t he grace of GOD I got a back payment in the mail today fr...	Andrea12	10	1036	Sep 30, 2009 by Andrea12
	Just a thought: are there any Skype meetings as well (Preview) just wondered. I like listening :)	alanonicScotland	6	2093	Sep 30, 2009 by Tattyhead
	Lonely for recovery in Scotland (Preview) First, can anyone tell me the name of that new CAL book that has a lot of new readings and sup-posedly adult child stuff? I saw one recently and haven;t since and would like ot get one - pinkish or purple cover as I recall... quick share: I am SO sad abotu the state of meetings where I am. They are really, gene...	alanonicScotland	7	690	Sep 30, 2009 by chezza
	Newbie who feels guilty for wanting to roll my eyes as I listen to all the AA sayings... (Preview) Hello. Im looking for a bit of guidance. I am a mother of two young children and both of my parents became late-in-life alcohlics. After a dramatic confrontation that lasted days and involved suicide threats, verbal abuse, etc --both of my parents joined AA and received private counseling as wel...	gardenia1	6	718	Sep 30, 2009 by alanonicScotland
	I asked for a sign, and I got it....always in HP's time not mine... (Preview) I am filled with gratitude and very blessed, but the past couple of weeks have left me repeatedly feeling off and struggling to stay on track. Though this is my favorite time of year, it also holds memories from the past and difficult times filled with hurt, times that come back to mind even more so thi...	shellyj123	5	685	Sep 30, 2009 by nmike
	Newbie saying hi (Preview) hello my name is shell, and my father is a alcoholic. i have never before been in a aa meeting but a friend has encouraged me to join. i suffer from severe depression and ptsd due to my father. he is very abusive when he is drunk and i have recently have ad to move outta home cause he told me to jump in the river a...	Shellybelly	5	712	Sep 29, 2009 by Shellybelly
	I don't like...living under the alcoholic's spotlight...but I can take it! (Preview) Hello Friends, Well, it finally happened, my A stopped drinking, although a raging (in more than one sense of the word) dry drunk. It happened about a year ago. Before alanon, I used to look up all the bad things that happen to severe drunks (as in daily drinking to the point of blackout, YIKES) and try...	MaryPoppins	4	659	Sep 29, 2009 by Aloha
	Back slide and the can of worms. (Preview) Well, the fallout came from the can of worms I opened with the ex. Just when I think I'm done I'm cutting off all contact there he is again and I'm sure he feels the same about me. I wish we could just be civil to eachother, be friends and nothing more at this point. I don't know if it's possible but I guess a...	carolinagirl	3	651	Sep 29, 2009 by maresie
	Stirred up a Hornets nest now! (Preview) I decided to go tho the poilice station this morning to report the threats my AH had made against myself and my children. I was thinking this would be a 1/2 an hour, report the incident, get some advice on what to do when and if I do decide to leave and that be it. OH BOY, was I wrong. Turns out, here in Ontar...	MissyPoo	19	931	Sep 29, 2009 by Tattyhead
	update on son in rehab (Preview) My son will be in rehab 1 week tomorrow. He seems really good when I talk to him. He has been voted to be the community director (the go to guy as he called it) because he can get along with everyone. Last night a councelor ask him if he would be a guest speaker for guys who come in for only the weekend. I was surp...	Gailey	5	807	Sep 29, 2009 by Rita G
	Is this true?? (Preview) It has been said that we are drawn to alcoholics because they make US feel good about ourselves. That when we take care of them,complain about what they do,it makes US feel superior. I have seen this in myself but not just with alcoholics.I will carry on at work about how stupid people are, which I guess I...	drucilla06	10	847	Sep 29, 2009 by carolinagirl
	too much time on my hands! (Preview) I AM BEGINNING TO SEE MORE & MORE THAT I HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS! I AM PROBABLY POSTING TOO MUCH BUT THEN AGAIN, I CAN ONLY GET TO THE COMPUTER 3 OR 4 DAYS A WEEK FOR ONE HOUR A DAY! I GUESS I AM ALWAYS "SECOND GUESSING" MYSELF, TOO! TOO MUCH TIME TO THINK. I HAVE BEEN TRYING HOBBIES A LIT...	Hoot Nanny	4	639	Sep 29, 2009 by Jerry F
	Is it a good idea???? (Preview) My therapist suggested that my AH and I sit down and discuss openly the resentments we have for each other. In my past therapy sessions we have been discussing how the past has hurt me and how i am having a hard time letting go of it. She suggested we do this and warned it would be painful. I brought it up t...	TF	3	717	Sep 29, 2009 by abbyal
	Need your advice (Preview) I posted last week for the first time when I learned my daughter has a drinking problem. She lives in another town and kept it well hiden, until her husband told us. She is in outpatient program now. First meeting was last Sat. My question is: is there anything I can say or do to help her in this journey or an...	Bluelady	3	769	Sep 29, 2009 by abbyal
	In the Service to others (Preview) It has to be said that there are unsung heros on this board and I for one want to recognise them. They are the people who dedicate time and effort and work "backstage" for the good of others. We are so lucky here to have such people on this board to keep it safe from abuse. MIP has played an enormo...	Suzannah	6	658	Sep 28, 2009 by Suzannah
	Made it a "me" day.....my awakening (Preview) Well after a day yesterday of feeling off and making a BIG mistake at work, and having to work over to fix it all, I decided to make today a "me" day and took the day off to try and gather myself together a bit. I have been feeling off and struggling all week and it is showing in every area of my life...	shellyj123	2	662	Sep 28, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	It REALLY is ok to use White Out!!!!! -Letting go of guilt and perfection... (Preview) Spent much of this weekend not feeling well, so while lying around I had some time to reflect on things a bit. I never sit still, have the hardest time with it and this weekend I had no choice.......think HP really just wanted me to slow down and take care of me for a bit. Before AlAnon I would have felt trem...	shellyj123	4	802	Sep 28, 2009 by penelope
	Is It Me? (Preview) I need some of your thoughts and experience please. The situation is that I was happily married for 18 years to my first husband. He died. Five years later I married my second husband. I had no idea he was an a. I figure it out in the 3rd month of our marriage. By the 6th month of our marriage the verbal a...	ditto	3	645	Sep 28, 2009 by maresie
	Newbie (Preview) Hi all. I am new here and pretty hopeless that things in my life will get any better, but coming to sites like this and reading about other people in the same situation as me makes me feel less alone. I am married to an alcoholic. We have two young children. AH's behavior is getting worse and worse. He drin...	SWgal	8	639	Sep 28, 2009 by maresie
	Newbie w/ Dumb question: How can I be sure my A is an A? (Preview) First pardon my misuse of lingo. Still learning it. the background: (optional reading lol) I've been seeing a therapist to deal with the mess my life has become, and as I get everything straight one of the things i have to deal with is my marriage. As the story goes, I had to hit rock bottom before I'd...	Citizen	9	785	Sep 28, 2009 by maresie
	Roomate is in denial (Preview) Roomate loves to drink and use pills, (wine beer, booze). It is all good. Any suggestions? Wouldn't mind so much if didn't have effect on the household. Has affected work, friends, all for decades. However, nothing is her fault, and all others are at fault.	Va	2	656	Sep 28, 2009 by maresie
	I'm OK... Update in chain below.... (Preview) Thanks again to everyone for your prayers.., I have posted an update in the chain below... Knowing you are all here telling me I am not crazy is a BIG HELP. AH has rounded up the troops in his support and has the neighbours, his family etc, thinking I am some crazed dusgruntled wife getting ready to lea...	MissyPoo	2	616	Sep 28, 2009 by blender_girl
	It is so strange. (Preview) It really is unnerving to see a person you have known all your life, not be anything like they were. Even when he used before, he is nothing like that drunk anymore at all either. Have learned to detach so well I forget to go visit him in prison. I don't grieve for him or think about him anymore. I am so glad, e...	debilyn	2	546	Sep 27, 2009 by Jozie
	Hi, I'm a newbie. Long Intro....Thanks for reading. (Preview) Hi everyone and thank you for this wonderful website and all the support you give. I have not gone to any meetings yet and have only recently thought about becoming involved in anything like this. I am 30 years old, married with a 2 month old boy. My father is an alcoholic and has been since I can remember...	uptheleft	4	661	Sep 27, 2009 by maresie
	Crazy dysfunctional parents... trapped Adult Child... please help! (Preview) I need help. I'm in a dysfunctional relationship with my Mom and Dad. I'm a 30 year old guy who is having trouble setting boundaries and having a normal relationship with them. I am currently on a "vacation" staying in my hometown for the next few days. My parents are older (mid 60s) and the...	Cashey100	8	930	Sep 27, 2009 by newday
	Hope I can cope tonight.... (Preview) This is my second posting. I am in the process of re-working the steps...well I am just now starting again anyways. I have had just an awful day dealing with my A. I have had many slip ups where I have yelled at him because he was annoying me, or bullying the kids. How can I not defend them...and myself? ...	ImSoTired	2	705	Sep 27, 2009 by debilyn
	My f2f last night...... (Preview) was on step 4. I have really never done a step 4 yet. Last night someone spoke on envy. I guess I really never thought of that as being a character flaw but my eyes were open to it then. I, too, am envious of families that seem to have it all together...talking about their grown kids's jobs, where they are goi...	Gailey	3	669	Sep 26, 2009 by tea2
	Husband Hides Vodka (Preview) Hi everyone! This is my first time posting. I've never been to an Al-Anon meeting, but friends have told me I should go. For some reason I'm hesitant. My husband has been hiding alcohol and drinking in secret off and on during the 10 years we've been married. He goes through periods of months where he sto...	hmunkster	6	7056	Sep 26, 2009 by neshema2
	I start to question myself and HP shows up ever reminding.... (Preview) Lately I've been questioning myself about my decisions about my separation from my exaH. It'll be a year that we've been separated so I can legally file for divorce, if that's what I choose. But the questions have all been so invasive in my mind... Is this what I want? Is this what I need? Is there rea...	Rora	5	698	Sep 26, 2009 by neshema2
	God grant me the serenity... (Preview) " God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change Courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference. " The more I say this prayer the more I find myself reaching out for it and living it. It feels like it is beginning to really soak in through every pore in my b...	Suzannah	7	798	Sep 26, 2009 by neshema2
	change in rprocess. (Preview) The other night I met a local artist in the park. We had a lovely conversation and it was nice to talk to someone who is cultured and articulate. At the same time what stood out for me in the conversation was that he said he had a drinking issue. In fact he made a real big deal of the fact I didn't drink. In the...	maresie	8	741	Sep 26, 2009 by tea2
	Whose that girl? (Preview) Hi family, Last night something amazing happened for me. There is a woman at my F2F who is putting on a seminar on her own and has been passing around a flyer at our F2F during the meeting when we make announcements. I have wanted to say something because it is alanon sanctioned and should be announced bef...	Mandy123	8	780	Sep 26, 2009 by sunshines1
	Transitions (Preview) So here I sit on my last day on the job where I have worked for 4 years. A new adventure is ready to begin and I still am just stuck on the next move for me. I have tried to see which direction my HP is pointing with no clear answer. Probably there have been signs, but I missed them of course! I have to have faith th...	MyThoughts2U2	3	833	Sep 25, 2009 by Jen
	when your A is your child..................... (Preview) how can you ever move on and begin a new life without them. I know this is going to sound like a self pity post but every time I read a post from a spouse that has separated from their A and has gone on to live a better life, met someone new, maybe got married and could leave that A life behind I do find myself bein...	Gailey	9	714	Sep 25, 2009 by Ness
	My Into and some history (Preview) My name is Wendy and I am the mother of one. I am surrounded by alcoholics which is what finds me here. I am new to this board, and let me tell you how happy I am to have finally got the courage to come. I attended a couple local Alanon meetings earlier this year and it really helped, but my boyfriend found ou...	ImSoTired	3	781	Sep 25, 2009 by Mandy123
	Happy Fall! (Preview) (((Family))), Just wanted to take a few moments and wish you all a HAPPY FALL! I love the changing of the seasons. This is surely HP in all his/her glory. The leaves have already started to change here in the northeast. It's apple picking time. The apples are sweeter than ever and they are expectin...	Karilynn	4	515	Sep 24, 2009 by tea2
	Feeling completely "off"...the past is creeping in.......in need of some ESH..... (Preview) I am really struggling lately, badly. I believe A LOT of it is the time of year....it's a really hard time of year for me (sad because Fall is my all time FAVORITE SEASON!!), and I can feel it getting harder daily, and I'm afraid to be honest. I know HP is here with me and by my side and I can't loose sight of t...	shellyj123	8	583	Sep 24, 2009 by ImSoTired
	Planning to Leave...finally! (Preview) Although it is the middle of the night I cannot sleep. I am so thankful for this message board full of like souls for helping to remind me how crazy it can SEEM when in an alcoholic relationship. As a public figure in a very small community, it's hard to get f2f or alanon meetings and the support of the folk...	lonewolfmama	7	666	Sep 24, 2009 by maresie
	I'm so sick (Preview) Turns out I was a little sick and got a lot sicker. I have been home in bed for two days solid nobody to take care of me... and today back at work but feeling miserable. Still better than I was but not really well enough to be here. I didn't have the sick time to take the last two days off tho. In my highly med...	carolinagirl	7	692	Sep 24, 2009 by maresie
	3rd and 11th Steps (Preview) Does anyone have any thoughts on the 3rd and 11th steps and how to apply them in times of difficulty?	MyThoughts2U2	6	765	Sep 24, 2009 by MyThoughts2U2
	Leaving your AH .... (Preview) I have been reading (and re-reading) Getting them Sober. One of the chapters came into play full force for me last weekend. "Don't beg them to Stay" I had been noticing that my AH had been going to less and less AA meetings and more and more I saw signs that he had been drinking. I ignored all...	MissyPoo	10	878	Sep 24, 2009 by neshema2
	yessss need u alll pleaseeeeeee need u all please putor is down and so am i im down down downn (Preview) my email is (Personal Email and phone number removed) thnk u all i need u alllllllllllllllll need u all putor down and so am i down Please PM Terri if you would like her personal email address and phone number. They have been removed from this public post. - tlcate -- Edited by tlcate on Thursday 24th of S...	tkyater2003	0	394	Sep 24, 2009 by tkyater2003
	how to tell the difference (Preview) I am stuck. I cannot figure out how to productively find the lines that separate this disease from one's personal responsibility. I understand that alcoholism is a disease. I understand that many of the things that have happened are just going to linger, or I am going to have to let them go. I have to for...	lucky	8	680	Sep 24, 2009 by lucky
	I saw AHubby for the first time in 3 1/2 weeks...it was bitter sweet (Preview) Hello and Hugs Everyone, I have many mixed emotions right now. Just letting them be, I am really not trying to figure them out. I saw my A Hubby for the first time in 3 1/2 weeks since I made him leave. He stopped at my office to pick up mapquest directions to the rehab facility he has finally decided to giv...	Sincerely	6	721	Sep 24, 2009 by Jerry F
	here I go again--is my mom helpless? (Preview) What do I do? Is she helpless? I am sitting here next to her trying to get into the computer--she is not able to do anything without help! I am so frustrated! I guess sometimes some people can't get into their emails without some kind of help. Maybe she will never be computer--savvy? I need support! he...	Hoot Nanny	3	723	Sep 23, 2009 by Loupiness
	Checking in after my Pilgrimage and my time out before I go into hospital yet again... (Preview) Hi folks, Just what I needed and I did as I promised. Prayers offered up for all of you...not just the ones who had asked for them. So many people asking for prayers and needing them right now. I attended a horrendous medical this morning and came away feeling like the lowest form of pond life. Sick of PAI...	Suzannah	3	655	Sep 23, 2009 by Christy
	revisiting 1 and 2 (Preview) Ok. My way isn't working out so hot. The idea I had implanted that I am master of my own destiny lent itself to a lot of manipulations of facts, and some distortions of reality. The consequence of this was that while oft times, I DID get to where I wanted to go, I was mislead into thinking I was somehow more &q...	woopsadaisy	4	624	Sep 23, 2009 by woopsadaisy
	By the way, just what IS that sign against my Topic title? (Preview) Why have I got something that looks like a stick of dynamite against my Topic tile? on my previous post? AND THIS ONE? Suz -- Edited by Suzannah on Wednesday 23rd of September 2009 10:46:30 AM	Suzannah	4	674	Sep 23, 2009 by debilyn
	second al anon meeting-slowly getting this! (Preview) I did have a rough day yesterday and can feel the pent-up stress slowly leaving my body. I made it to my 2nd Al Anon meeting last night-this one was wonderful. We spoke of gratitude and being grateful for small things each day. I have slept better the last 2 nights (although did throw up yesterday a.m....	mominneed	2	602	Sep 23, 2009 by Rora
	regained self esteem vs. narcissisum (Preview) I was talking with a few program friends when this subject sorta came up. One friend was discussing how she has learned to "take care of me (hereself) by dressing up, and really glamming up, as well as by learning to stand up for herself and no longer let people walk all over her. She mentioned an un...	MaryPoppins	5	940	Sep 23, 2009 by lucky
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.