Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

melmel1 · melmel1

Yesterday, my very best friend called me. I live downstairs from her. Her brother and sister in law were over, she was checking into rehab again. This is her second time, and she promised before to the doctors that she would stop drinking. The problem is that anytime there is a problem she can't han...

richard · richard

Hi all,It has been years since I have been here. I used to attend ftf meetings and come here because my sons might be coming to area where I lived or even to live with me. Well, that happened many years ago. My youngest son came to me from jail, years of bad addiction to speed, alcohol, and whatever else h...

Stormy · Stormy

I, or should I say we, my AH and I have been having what I thought to be such a good week. He's been going to meetings, I've been going to online meetings (not ready for f2f yet) and then it happens, as it happens all the time. My AH gets reimbursed at his job for our cable bill and any money he spends related to...

dervin17 · dervin17

My 36 year old son has decided to do a 90 day re-hap (thank God). Would I be enabling him if I paid his rent for the 90 days that he is in re-hab? He is on unemployment and has to give 80% of his check to re-hab.

Chenango · Chenango

I am trying to move on and today it marks a week since I had him moved out of my house because two late-drunk nights showing up and my house not knowing where he was at either one. I have been told by my family that if I continue to call him that they will show me some tough love, which I know they will. I did not sp...

Katy · Katy

I would really like peoples take on this, because I seem to do it selectively, and only with certain people, and I am getting a lot better, I used to have to replay conversations over and over inside my head, I think I had low self esteem when I was doing that so bad, because I really cared about the way I ans...

KSchumaker · KSchumaker

I am new to this. I met a guy about 3 months ago. We instantly clicked and shared such strong feelings for each other and expressed so much and told each other everything. I knew he was a drinker, but at the age of 23, I never suspected he was an alcoholic. He moved in within a few weeks, and our relationship w...

Christy · Christy

I believe in the power of prayer and raising vibes for others. So if you would please, include my Mom in your thoughts and prayers. She is having a medical procedure on Monday and will have to be put under. Supposedly, a safe procedure and I'm doing my best not to project, but.....When we were sayin...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

Well I called the child support agency. There will be a paternity test done I have to take my son in November 7th and my A will be going a few weeks after. She said after that they will ask about visitation and if I want supervised it will go to family court. And until that summons come for me to go to court I can...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

My A revealed to me that he has been relapsing for two weeks already. I just feel exhausted and sad and alone. I am grateful for a program and for people who understand. The whole loss of the dream, the broken trust and the sadness is just overwhelming right now. I asked him to leave today. I do not know wher...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm scared to try to start a new relationship... Scared I don't know how to have a "normal" relationship where I don't become too attached. Scared I'll get my kids wrapped around some guy who will just run off again thus repeating the seemingly never ending cycle of men who abandon them. Sc...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I was heading into this month with a "next month is going to be tough" attitude and stressing over things a month away. I laugh now at the insanity in that!!!! I've been really devoting myself to my program and am slowly reaching an inner peace and calmness that I haven't known in ages, if eve...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), Good morning. This is my annual reminder to all of my family here: GET THOSE MAMOGRAMS! October is breast cancer awareness month. So let's get this done. I have mine tomorrow. Such a simple procedure that can save your life. Tell all your mothers, cousins, sisters and friend...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I don't mean to double dip today, and but I have been writing and processing alot of things, talking to program peeps and other means of support. My ABF is my drug. The anxiety I feel when I consider ending our relationship is because he is all of my good feelings. He fills that hole within me. I've used him...

3littlekittens · 3littlekittens

Hi all-- My AH was in recovery for a very brief time after a stint in detox and an IOP. He has resumed drinking again and is using daily (although he says he's not because perhaps 1 day out of 7 he might not). When he went through treatment and I participated too, I stated I would no longer drink alcohol eithe...

Jozie · Jozie

Growing Up an ACOA My Ideal of marriage was something that oftem times i couldn't bring myself to think about, I would say mainly because My parents had a Brutle Divorce when I was but 9 years old... It really took from me ALOT of my Dreams as a small child for I still lived in a fantasy world that would consi...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello, Well, I just didn't like the tone of his voice when he said, i can come and go as i want in that house, its mine. HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, i don't think so, he moved out 6 weeks ago and took a few of his possessions with him. So today, I changed the locks. Locks are to keep the honest people out, I hope it wor...

therack76 · therack76

Hi everyone! I'm new at this and a year and a half into this program. Here is my question, and I would really appreciate your feedback on this. I have a sponsor, whom I love and respect dearly. I am currently on my fourth step, (have been for the last 4-5 months at least) I feel the reason why this is taking so...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I am currently feeling completely overwelmed, happy and blessed all at the same time. I'm seeing more and more, daily, the program working in my life as I attempt to make it the center of my life. I had wanted to do ninety meetings in ninety days, and thus far have managed to make a meeting a day, but honest...

blender_girl · blender_girl

I'm sorry I didn't know the location of the picture you were looking for yesterday. I was unsure of what had happened to it when you asked me about it. I'm sorry I set my boundaries and you chose to ignore them. I'm sorry I snapped at you when I did so. I'm sorry I lost my composure last night. Heaven kn...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I am so eternally grateful for all of you here, who have shared so openly and honestly with me about your E,S&H on relapse and heartbreak. My wound feels fresh and open and oh so painful.I can't seem to sort out of my heartstrings from my mind. I find myself terrified of losing this man again- feeling...

cdngirl · cdngirl

Hello all, I have been lurking for a while now and have finally decided to join. I have been married for three years, and for the last 2 or so have been struggling a great deal with AH's drinking. I was searching for bottles, pouring out or giving away liquor, counting how much he drank, asking him to ple...

iSaint · iSaint

My wife went in to rehab last week. It's been 8 days. She's a party drunk. Her parties are herself and a six-pack on the beach. She's 43. We had been fighting about drinking for a few years, and recently (two months? two years?) she'd been getting a six-pack and riding around after she finished her...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello everyone! My phone rang last night about 9pm. I was not expecting it to be my A hubby. He's in rehab. 3 day down. Yesterday was 1 month since I asked him to leave our home. I don't know why he called me. I would have preferred he didn't. You see, I "think" I have detached w/love. I d...

MissyPoo · MissyPoo

Hello everyone. I was wondering if you could share you ESH in how to handle household finances with an A. I am the main breadwinner in our family. AH works as an outside labourer and is unemployed in the winter (and goes on unemployment insurance). One of the ways I used to try and control his drinkin...

Rora · Rora

Last night my exaH came to pick up our son for a group they belong to. I thought I smelled booze on aH, though I didn't notice any "affects". Then again, I thought I smelled booze. And they left. The hour that they were gone all I could think about is why did I do that? I know why I didn't say a...

alanonicScotland · alanonicScotland

Got woken up this morning by neigbors thumping music. Went on all day. ALL day. I tried to keep cool. I have PTSD from 9/11 among othr things (lived on E 13th St). Went out, came home. Still going. Then the other neighbors start up - 20 Hindus chanting with bongos. That and the techno****. My partner tried...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello everyone, Well ... where to begin? I've had a lot of time and ways to practice my program this past week or so. My sad news, my old blind cat had liver failure and I had to take him in to be put to sleep. I really miss him. we could be blind together and usually had to call and meow to each other until i saw a g...

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

Hello Friends, I don't like to talk about it much, but my first husband, my child's father was an addict. Addicted to street drugs, prescription drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, sex...you name it and he was addicted to it. He was my childhood sweetheart and high school boyfriend. He was a big football...

maresie · maresie

One new thing for me in making any kind of friendship is looking at that persons boundaries. If they have an issue with them that is a red flag for me. I no longer charge into any relationship because I "like" someone. I evaulate, feed back, look at levels, work on how I can change my bounda...

RLC · RLC

To MY MIP FAMILY, Just a short post to tell everyone I am alive and well. I check in almost every day and I miss posting, but I have been so busy with my business (Ladies Wholesale Apparel) that I have had very little time. Thank goodness ladies don't know we are in a recession, only their husbands do. LOL...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So Friday night I took my kids to the local buffalo wild wings for karaoke, we met up with a few other single moms and their kids. My oldest daughter (15) was out at the movies with her friends and got dropped off there after the show. So I'm talking to a nice guy and we are really hitting it off. She walks u...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT MY DAY WAS GOING TO TURN AROUND, I GOT A BILL! DON'T KNOW YET IF I HAVE TO PAY IT! IT JUST IRKS ME TO RECEIVE A BILL WHEN THERE IS BASICALLY NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT ON THE WEEKEND WHEN I RECEIVED IT! SO, I STRESSED & LET IT BOTHER ME FOR QUITE AWHILE ON SATURDAY WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Sorry Just need to rant and then Ill go away again AH not well this am vomiting, etc. I went to work, telling him to keep taking sips of water and brandy if he could to ward off withdrawal seizures. Son phoned me at 10 to say his dad was being sick and he was worried. I asked if he was talking to him and taking sip...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... Made it thru yet another LONG weekend... My boy had a game first thing Sat. Morn, and it was agaisnt a Christian Acadamy, which in the end could have ended alot uglier then it did, but our boys hung in there, and did the best they could playing against a team that had "Highschool" kids o...

rutnut · rutnut

I had dated this lady for a few months seven years ago. I broke up with her because of her heavy drinking. So I get a call from her back in march out of the blue. I was just coming out of another relationship. So we eventually started seeing each other again. She told me she no longer drank much, nor did she ca...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

Any ESH is much appreciated! Court will be coming up for child support and my A thinks they will do visitation at that time. I have no clue, but if they don't it will be sometime. I know I should just worry about today and not the future, but I think I need to prepare myself for when the time comes. I do not want...

Mariner · Mariner

Dear (((All))) Just checking in to say'HI' and thank you all for being here. I continue to work my program and make small steps forward in my recovery. Things are going ok and I'm getting so much better at setting and keeping my boundaries with my ex A, I realise I cant rest back on this as it is so easy for...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I WILL TRY TO STAY POSITIVE TODAY! NOT EVEN THE RAIN WILL BRING ME DOWN! I KNOW THE RAIN IS NECESSARY BUT SOMETIMES IT CAUSES A BIT OF SADD! EVERYONE PLEASE DO THE SAME. I KNOW THAT WE CAN ALL PULL TOGETHER & SUPPORT EACH OTHER NOW MATTER WHAT! BLESS YOU ALL!

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello everyone, My hubbys round two at rehab ended after 9 days this time. First time was 4 days. The difference for me is that I had no expectations this time. This short round 2 is confirmation that i made the right decision to ask him to leave our home 6 weeks ago. I'm good. I'm happy. And I lost 18lbs...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

We dropped my husband off at the treatment facility in Tucson yesterday. We were lucky enough to have insurance cover a HUGE portion of it. He will be gone for 30 to 45 days depending on how many days insurance wants to cover. I'm having some anxiety with him being gone and me being home alone to handle...

doxie · doxie

I have attached a photo of sons and nephew for you to look at. Lucas is the one in the middle, sitting in the chair with the dog on his lap. His younger brother is the one with the white shirt and hat and the other is their cousin. Lucas is doing so well. He is healing very well and about to go to full time at work...

Inpain · Inpain

It sucks and sucks the life out of you. My husband is having a rough time right now. His brother is dying and he's under a lot of stress and pressure. We've been doing VERY VERY well because we've both been pursing active healthy things and avoiding the negative. I'm very very proud of myself and him. HO...

sunshines1 · sunshines1

Recently a program friend and I were discussing meeting topics, essentially saying what a simple program this is, no need to make it complicated with off the wall, frilly kind of topics. There's plenty that can be found in Forums and the index of the literature. Not to say that they too don't serve a pur...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi Family, I had something funny happen that I just wanted to share with you and I hope it gives you all a chuckle like it did the f2f group I shared with last night. Last night I went to a f2f meeting. It was pretty small and with 30 minutes left to the end of the meeting we had all shared. Well the chair asked us...

lonewolfmama · lonewolfmama

I finally left the A father of my 10 mos. old child after six years. After watching him devolve into his old self so many times, and standing by him when he came to and decided to make changes and then fall again, I have left, moved out on my own and am living with friends and at my office. Although it is painf...

HollyM · HollyM

I am new to this, and everyone else seems to know all the language and the processes and the way to do stuff? How do you learn, and how do you get started?

ernie · ernie

Sorry for the delay everyone!!! September Business meeting Minutes Meeting was held September 13, 2009 Meeting opened with the serenity prayer Motion to accept August Business Meeting Minutes as posted on the Board - Voted on and accepted Chair meeting schedule was posted no revisions were m...

Data395 · Data395

Hi, I'm new here. :) my significant other is an alcoholic. I am here to learn more about the disease and how it has affected me. I recognize that it is a family disease and it not only affects them but us as well. I have detachment issues; I want to learn to detach. My friend attends meetings as well and says...

danz123 · danz123

October Agenda Review of September minutes Review of op meeting schedule New Business Nominations for service positions Chairperson Secretary Discussion of addition to FAQS Old Business Op duties Chairing meetings Idle times Please pm me if you have any additional items -- Edited...

Overcome · Overcome

Today's reading (Oct. 3) in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon, reminded me that sometimes I need to be gentle with the newcomer. They are not familiar with all our slogans and sayings. I don't want them to feel the outsider or act as if I have it all together and that they just need to 'snap out of it'. I don't know...

maresie · maresie

I am almost 2 months out now from having had the check stolen. There is no sign of a replacement check. I can either let this issue consume me (which it certainly has) or detach detach and then detach some more. Of course I want it to be anything but it is. I don't believe I actually have a choice if I want to...

flower5361 · flower5361

First of all, I want to say I'm glad I found this board and I apologize in advance for the long rant coming. I've been doing some reading to get more information, and it is now clear to me what is going on with my husband. I am in my second marriage (almost 3 years) and was married the first time for 22 year...

layneee · layneee

HELLO ALL--- JUST WANTING TO VENT A LITTLE BIT RIGHT NOW. I GUESS AS I START THE WORDS HOPEFULLY WILL FLOW RIGHT FROM MY LAST POST TO NOW, I HAVE RECIEVED GREAT FEEDBACK ON HOW TO HANDLE THIS IN THE RIGHT MANNER. I HAVE BEEN TAKING "MYSELF" OUT OF THE EQUATION AND LOOKING AT IT FROM A DIFFERENT P...

Stormy · Stormy

My husband is an alcoholic who just started attending meetings 2 weeks ago. It seems, to me, that he has replaced alcohol with attending meetings. He leaves an hour before the meeting is to start and comes home an hour or more after the meeting ends. Our marriage is in shambles from the drinking and n...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Does anyone have any tips for impusle control? I think I have ADHD... I get the urge to do/say something and I do it. I make really poor decisions when I'm mad or sick and I need some tips on how other people control the impulse. Anything?

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I wanted to do 90 meetings in 90 days, starting tomorrow, and REALLY put myself into the program as much as possible right now. I need it for myself and I need it to help me keep the focus on me (as a very close friend told me and is correct-when I was REALLY working the program I was at my happiest) In my area...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Yesterday was a trying day in many ways. I've had harder I'm sure, but yesterday I was being tested or so it felt. I started the day having to call my son's father's place and dealing with his wife. (my son's father has been an absent parent from day one and I have fought child support battles for years wi...

Aloha · Aloha

I've been having a challenging week. AH's family is out visiting and when they visit, AH goes dry. And when he is dry, his disease is exposed and raw and it is ANGRY and HOSTILE and on a witch hunt. The nice thing is, AH's brother and his girlfriend are AA members who take their meetings seriously. I know I g...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Woke up this am DETERMINED to put my focus back on me and get out of the rut I have been in. Hit my dailys hard, always grateful that I had the extra money to buy them as they are a gift in each and every way, everyday. Came into the office and the first thing I did was come here and read.....always the best way t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Why do I feel so betrayed and hurt? (Preview) Yesterday, my very best friend called me. I live downstairs from her. Her brother and sister in law were over, she was checking into rehab again. This is her second time, and she promised before to the doctors that she would stop drinking. The problem is that anytime there is a problem she can't han...	melmel1	9	860	Oct 9, 2009 by debilyn
	A very long time since I have been here... growth-of-other (Preview) Hi all,It has been years since I have been here. I used to attend ftf meetings and come here because my sons might be coming to area where I lived or even to live with me. Well, that happened many years ago. My youngest son came to me from jail, years of bad addiction to speed, alcohol, and whatever else h...	richard	5	887	Oct 9, 2009 by Andrea12
	Good week.. then, not so much :( (Preview) I, or should I say we, my AH and I have been having what I thought to be such a good week. He's been going to meetings, I've been going to online meetings (not ready for f2f yet) and then it happens, as it happens all the time. My AH gets reimbursed at his job for our cable bill and any money he spends related to...	Stormy	4	595	Oct 9, 2009 by Stormy
	Enabling son? (Preview) My 36 year old son has decided to do a 90 day re-hap (thank God). Would I be enabling him if I paid his rent for the 90 days that he is in re-hab? He is on unemployment and has to give 80% of his check to re-hab.	dervin17	9	701	Oct 9, 2009 by dervin17
	Worried about depressed/alcoholic ex-boyfriend (Preview) I am trying to move on and today it marks a week since I had him moved out of my house because two late-drunk nights showing up and my house not knowing where he was at either one. I have been told by my family that if I continue to call him that they will show me some tough love, which I know they will. I did not sp...	Chenango	5	3329	Oct 9, 2009 by richard
	Why do we anylise everything? (Preview) I would really like peoples take on this, because I seem to do it selectively, and only with certain people, and I am getting a lot better, I used to have to replay conversations over and over inside my head, I think I had low self esteem when I was doing that so bad, because I really cared about the way I ans...	Katy	2	734	Oct 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	Please help. (Preview) I am new to this. I met a guy about 3 months ago. We instantly clicked and shared such strong feelings for each other and expressed so much and told each other everything. I knew he was a drinker, but at the age of 23, I never suspected he was an alcoholic. He moved in within a few weeks, and our relationship w...	KSchumaker	6	692	Oct 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	Please include my Mom in your prayers... (Preview) I believe in the power of prayer and raising vibes for others. So if you would please, include my Mom in your thoughts and prayers. She is having a medical procedure on Monday and will have to be put under. Supposedly, a safe procedure and I'm doing my best not to project, but.....When we were sayin...	Christy	22	5573	Oct 9, 2009 by wp
	Trusting in my HP (Preview) Well I called the child support agency. There will be a paternity test done I have to take my son in November 7th and my A will be going a few weeks after. She said after that they will ask about visitation and if I want supervised it will go to family court. And until that summons come for me to go to court I can...	Melissa21	4	628	Oct 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	Need some support (Preview) My A revealed to me that he has been relapsing for two weeks already. I just feel exhausted and sad and alone. I am grateful for a program and for people who understand. The whole loss of the dream, the broken trust and the sadness is just overwhelming right now. I asked him to leave today. I do not know wher...	RunnerChick	9	607	Oct 8, 2009 by 3littlekittens
	I'm scared now... (Preview) I'm scared to try to start a new relationship... Scared I don't know how to have a "normal" relationship where I don't become too attached. Scared I'll get my kids wrapped around some guy who will just run off again thus repeating the seemingly never ending cycle of men who abandon them. Sc...	carolinagirl	9	641	Oct 8, 2009 by richard
	Paying it forward.........reflections of a codie:) (Preview) I was heading into this month with a "next month is going to be tough" attitude and stressing over things a month away. I laugh now at the insanity in that!!!! I've been really devoting myself to my program and am slowly reaching an inner peace and calmness that I haven't known in ages, if eve...	shellyj123	3	621	Oct 8, 2009 by richard
	Get those mamograms! (Preview) (((((Family)))), Good morning. This is my annual reminder to all of my family here: GET THOSE MAMOGRAMS! October is breast cancer awareness month. So let's get this done. I have mine tomorrow. Such a simple procedure that can save your life. Tell all your mothers, cousins, sisters and friend...	Karilynn	4	578	Oct 8, 2009 by tea2
	My Drug and Emotional Sobriety (Preview) I don't mean to double dip today, and but I have been writing and processing alot of things, talking to program peeps and other means of support. My ABF is my drug. The anxiety I feel when I consider ending our relationship is because he is all of my good feelings. He fills that hole within me. I've used him...	RunnerChick	6	763	Oct 8, 2009 by Chenango
	Drinking with your alcoholic? (Preview) Hi all-- My AH was in recovery for a very brief time after a stint in detox and an IOP. He has resumed drinking again and is using daily (although he says he's not because perhaps 1 day out of 7 he might not). When he went through treatment and I participated too, I stated I would no longer drink alcohol eithe...	3littlekittens	18	777	Oct 7, 2009 by 3littlekittens
	My Day....Butterfly Kisses.... (Preview) Growing Up an ACOA My Ideal of marriage was something that oftem times i couldn't bring myself to think about, I would say mainly because My parents had a Brutle Divorce when I was but 9 years old... It really took from me ALOT of my Dreams as a small child for I still lived in a fantasy world that would consi...	Jozie	3	3067	Oct 7, 2009 by Jerry F
	Today, I'm a locksmith! (Preview) Hello, Well, I just didn't like the tone of his voice when he said, i can come and go as i want in that house, its mine. HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, i don't think so, he moved out 6 weeks ago and took a few of his possessions with him. So today, I changed the locks. Locks are to keep the honest people out, I hope it wor...	Sincerely	7	687	Oct 7, 2009 by Sincerely
	HELP!!!! 4th Step Questions... (Preview) Hi everyone! I'm new at this and a year and a half into this program. Here is my question, and I would really appreciate your feedback on this. I have a sponsor, whom I love and respect dearly. I am currently on my fourth step, (have been for the last 4-5 months at least) I feel the reason why this is taking so...	therack76	4	4641	Oct 7, 2009 by hotrod
	Overwelmed, happy and blessed....... (Preview) I am currently feeling completely overwelmed, happy and blessed all at the same time. I'm seeing more and more, daily, the program working in my life as I attempt to make it the center of my life. I had wanted to do ninety meetings in ninety days, and thus far have managed to make a meeting a day, but honest...	shellyj123	2	1091	Oct 7, 2009 by maresie
	I'm sorry (Preview) I'm sorry I didn't know the location of the picture you were looking for yesterday. I was unsure of what had happened to it when you asked me about it. I'm sorry I set my boundaries and you chose to ignore them. I'm sorry I snapped at you when I did so. I'm sorry I lost my composure last night. Heaven kn...	blender_girl	4	652	Oct 7, 2009 by Maria123
	Using the tools of Al-anon (Preview) I am so eternally grateful for all of you here, who have shared so openly and honestly with me about your E,S&H on relapse and heartbreak. My wound feels fresh and open and oh so painful.I can't seem to sort out of my heartstrings from my mind. I find myself terrified of losing this man again- feeling...	RunnerChick	1	586	Oct 7, 2009 by shellyj123
	New here (Preview) Hello all, I have been lurking for a while now and have finally decided to join. I have been married for three years, and for the last 2 or so have been struggling a great deal with AH's drinking. I was searching for bottles, pouring out or giving away liquor, counting how much he drank, asking him to ple...	cdngirl	3	541	Oct 7, 2009 by david62
	new here - in lots of pain, lots of questions (Preview) My wife went in to rehab last week. It's been 8 days. She's a party drunk. Her parties are herself and a six-pack on the beach. She's 43. We had been fighting about drinking for a few years, and recently (two months? two years?) she'd been getting a six-pack and riding around after she finished her...	iSaint	14	861	Oct 6, 2009 by iSaint
	I am never prepared for that 1st phone call from rehab.... (Preview) Hello everyone! My phone rang last night about 9pm. I was not expecting it to be my A hubby. He's in rehab. 3 day down. Yesterday was 1 month since I asked him to leave our home. I don't know why he called me. I would have preferred he didn't. You see, I "think" I have detached w/love. I d...	Sincerely	6	747	Oct 6, 2009 by iSaint
	Handling Finances with an A (Preview) Hello everyone. I was wondering if you could share you ESH in how to handle household finances with an A. I am the main breadwinner in our family. AH works as an outside labourer and is unemployed in the winter (and goes on unemployment insurance). One of the ways I used to try and control his drinkin...	MissyPoo	10	672	Oct 6, 2009 by maresie
	how do you know if yur right about them drinking? (Preview) Last night my exaH came to pick up our son for a group they belong to. I thought I smelled booze on aH, though I didn't notice any "affects". Then again, I thought I smelled booze. And they left. The hour that they were gone all I could think about is why did I do that? I know why I didn't say a...	Rora	11	1052	Oct 6, 2009 by woopsadaisy
	just totally lost it. (Preview) Got woken up this morning by neigbors thumping music. Went on all day. ALL day. I tried to keep cool. I have PTSD from 9/11 among othr things (lived on E 13th St). Went out, came home. Still going. Then the other neighbors start up - 20 Hindus chanting with bongos. That and the techno****. My partner tried...	alanonicScotland	7	816	Oct 6, 2009 by maresie
	the last week .... a share (Preview) Hello everyone, Well ... where to begin? I've had a lot of time and ways to practice my program this past week or so. My sad news, my old blind cat had liver failure and I had to take him in to be put to sleep. I really miss him. we could be blind together and usually had to call and meow to each other until i saw a g...	Jennifer	3	609	Oct 6, 2009 by maresie
	Support and Prayers needed for BIG decision. (Preview) Hello Friends, I don't like to talk about it much, but my first husband, my child's father was an addict. Addicted to street drugs, prescription drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, sex...you name it and he was addicted to it. He was my childhood sweetheart and high school boyfriend. He was a big football...	MaryPoppins	5	624	Oct 6, 2009 by maresie
	boundaries. (Preview) One new thing for me in making any kind of friendship is looking at that persons boundaries. If they have an issue with them that is a red flag for me. I no longer charge into any relationship because I "like" someone. I evaulate, feed back, look at levels, work on how I can change my bounda...	maresie	0	567	Oct 6, 2009 by maresie
	Just Wanted To Say Hello And Thanks (Preview) To MY MIP FAMILY, Just a short post to tell everyone I am alive and well. I check in almost every day and I miss posting, but I have been so busy with my business (Ladies Wholesale Apparel) that I have had very little time. Thank goodness ladies don't know we are in a recession, only their husbands do. LOL...	RLC	6	862	Oct 6, 2009 by tea2
	More Drama with the ex bf - I think I'm making progress (Preview) So Friday night I took my kids to the local buffalo wild wings for karaoke, we met up with a few other single moms and their kids. My oldest daughter (15) was out at the movies with her friends and got dropped off there after the show. So I'm talking to a nice guy and we are really hitting it off. She walks u...	carolinagirl	5	541	Oct 6, 2009 by carolinagirl
	DIDN'T HAVE A POSITIVE DAY THOUGH I TRIED! (Preview) JUST WHEN I THOUGHT MY DAY WAS GOING TO TURN AROUND, I GOT A BILL! DON'T KNOW YET IF I HAVE TO PAY IT! IT JUST IRKS ME TO RECEIVE A BILL WHEN THERE IS BASICALLY NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT ON THE WEEKEND WHEN I RECEIVED IT! SO, I STRESSED & LET IT BOTHER ME FOR QUITE AWHILE ON SATURDAY WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY...	Hoot Nanny	5	666	Oct 6, 2009 by blender_girl
	Stressed (Preview) Sorry Just need to rant and then Ill go away again AH not well this am vomiting, etc. I went to work, telling him to keep taking sips of water and brandy if he could to ward off withdrawal seizures. Son phoned me at 10 to say his dad was being sick and he was worried. I asked if he was talking to him and taking sip...	Tattyhead	3	574	Oct 5, 2009 by Jerry F
	Looking for Ideas.. :o) Honoring :o) (Preview) Welp... Made it thru yet another LONG weekend... My boy had a game first thing Sat. Morn, and it was agaisnt a Christian Acadamy, which in the end could have ended alot uglier then it did, but our boys hung in there, and did the best they could playing against a team that had "Highschool" kids o...	Jozie	2	658	Oct 5, 2009 by Jozie
	After six years the phone rings (Preview) I had dated this lady for a few months seven years ago. I broke up with her because of her heavy drinking. So I get a call from her back in march out of the blue. I was just coming out of another relationship. So we eventually started seeing each other again. She told me she no longer drank much, nor did she ca...	rutnut	10	1016	Oct 5, 2009 by rutnut
	Anyone deal with going to court for visitation with an A (Preview) Any ESH is much appreciated! Court will be coming up for child support and my A thinks they will do visitation at that time. I have no clue, but if they don't it will be sometime. I know I should just worry about today and not the future, but I think I need to prepare myself for when the time comes. I do not want...	Melissa21	12	685	Oct 5, 2009 by maresie
	Hi to all and gratitude to Shelly (Preview) Dear (((All))) Just checking in to say'HI' and thank you all for being here. I continue to work my program and make small steps forward in my recovery. Things are going ok and I'm getting so much better at setting and keeping my boundaries with my ex A, I realise I cant rest back on this as it is so easy for...	Mariner	4	670	Oct 5, 2009 by shellyj123
	trying to stay possitive! (Preview) I WILL TRY TO STAY POSITIVE TODAY! NOT EVEN THE RAIN WILL BRING ME DOWN! I KNOW THE RAIN IS NECESSARY BUT SOMETIMES IT CAUSES A BIT OF SADD! EVERYONE PLEASE DO THE SAME. I KNOW THAT WE CAN ALL PULL TOGETHER & SUPPORT EACH OTHER NOW MATTER WHAT! BLESS YOU ALL!	Hoot Nanny	6	720	Oct 5, 2009 by Jozie
	rehab round 2...over (Preview) Hello everyone, My hubbys round two at rehab ended after 9 days this time. First time was 4 days. The difference for me is that I had no expectations this time. This short round 2 is confirmation that i made the right decision to ask him to leave our home 6 weeks ago. I'm good. I'm happy. And I lost 18lbs...	Sincerely	5	682	Oct 5, 2009 by Jozie
	Day One of Husband in Treatment (Preview) We dropped my husband off at the treatment facility in Tucson yesterday. We were lucky enough to have insurance cover a HUGE portion of it. He will be gone for 30 to 45 days depending on how many days insurance wants to cover. I'm having some anxiety with him being gone and me being home alone to handle...	N8SMOM	8	720	Oct 5, 2009 by Jozie
	Update on son and photo (Preview) I have attached a photo of sons and nephew for you to look at. Lucas is the one in the middle, sitting in the chair with the dog on his lap. His younger brother is the one with the white shirt and hat and the other is their cousin. Lucas is doing so well. He is healing very well and about to go to full time at work...	doxie	12	776	Oct 5, 2009 by blender_girl
	FEAR (Preview) It sucks and sucks the life out of you. My husband is having a rough time right now. His brother is dying and he's under a lot of stress and pressure. We've been doing VERY VERY well because we've both been pursing active healthy things and avoiding the negative. I'm very very proud of myself and him. HO...	Inpain	6	1619	Oct 5, 2009 by Mandy123
	simple meetings (Preview) Recently a program friend and I were discussing meeting topics, essentially saying what a simple program this is, no need to make it complicated with off the wall, frilly kind of topics. There's plenty that can be found in Forums and the index of the literature. Not to say that they too don't serve a pur...	sunshines1	4	687	Oct 5, 2009 by abbyal
	Alanon Humor (Preview) Hi Family, I had something funny happen that I just wanted to share with you and I hope it gives you all a chuckle like it did the f2f group I shared with last night. Last night I went to a f2f meeting. It was pretty small and with 30 minutes left to the end of the meeting we had all shared. Well the chair asked us...	Mandy123	3	5598	Oct 4, 2009 by Maria123
	I did it! And it's so hard!! (Preview) I finally left the A father of my 10 mos. old child after six years. After watching him devolve into his old self so many times, and standing by him when he came to and decided to make changes and then fall again, I have left, moved out on my own and am living with friends and at my office. Although it is painf...	lonewolfmama	9	1076	Oct 4, 2009 by Sincerely
	I'm New (Preview) I am new to this, and everyone else seems to know all the language and the processes and the way to do stuff? How do you learn, and how do you get started?	HollyM	9	677	Oct 4, 2009 by Sincerely
	September Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) Sorry for the delay everyone!!! September Business meeting Minutes Meeting was held September 13, 2009 Meeting opened with the serenity prayer Motion to accept August Business Meeting Minutes as posted on the Board - Voted on and accepted Chair meeting schedule was posted no revisions were m...	ernie	0	464	Oct 4, 2009 by ernie
	recognizing the family disease (Preview) Hi, I'm new here. :) my significant other is an alcoholic. I am here to learn more about the disease and how it has affected me. I recognize that it is a family disease and it not only affects them but us as well. I have detachment issues; I want to learn to detach. My friend attends meetings as well and says...	Data395	4	803	Oct 3, 2009 by Data395
	October Business Meeting Agenda 10/4 9pm est (Preview) October Agenda Review of September minutes Review of op meeting schedule New Business Nominations for service positions Chairperson Secretary Discussion of addition to FAQS Old Business Op duties Chairing meetings Idle times Please pm me if you have any additional items -- Edited...	danz123	0	611	Oct 3, 2009 by danz123
	Cheery Platitudes (Preview) Today's reading (Oct. 3) in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon, reminded me that sometimes I need to be gentle with the newcomer. They are not familiar with all our slogans and sayings. I don't want them to feel the outsider or act as if I have it all together and that they just need to 'snap out of it'. I don't know...	Overcome	3	832	Oct 3, 2009 by Jerry F
	acceptance (Preview) I am almost 2 months out now from having had the check stolen. There is no sign of a replacement check. I can either let this issue consume me (which it certainly has) or detach detach and then detach some more. Of course I want it to be anything but it is. I don't believe I actually have a choice if I want to...	maresie	4	666	Oct 3, 2009 by Ness
	NEW HERE....FINALLY AN ANSWER (Preview) First of all, I want to say I'm glad I found this board and I apologize in advance for the long rant coming. I've been doing some reading to get more information, and it is now clear to me what is going on with my husband. I am in my second marriage (almost 3 years) and was married the first time for 22 year...	flower5361	9	649	Oct 2, 2009 by flower5361
	RESENTMENT & ANGER.....NORMAL EVEN BEFORE HE GOES TO REHAB???? (Preview) HELLO ALL--- JUST WANTING TO VENT A LITTLE BIT RIGHT NOW. I GUESS AS I START THE WORDS HOPEFULLY WILL FLOW RIGHT FROM MY LAST POST TO NOW, I HAVE RECIEVED GREAT FEEDBACK ON HOW TO HANDLE THIS IN THE RIGHT MANNER. I HAVE BEEN TAKING "MYSELF" OUT OF THE EQUATION AND LOOKING AT IT FROM A DIFFERENT P...	layneee	7	1136	Oct 2, 2009 by layneee
	Need some honest advice! (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic who just started attending meetings 2 weeks ago. It seems, to me, that he has replaced alcohol with attending meetings. He leaves an hour before the meeting is to start and comes home an hour or more after the meeting ends. Our marriage is in shambles from the drinking and n...	Stormy	9	683	Oct 2, 2009 by HollyM
	Tips!!!??? (Preview) Does anyone have any tips for impusle control? I think I have ADHD... I get the urge to do/say something and I do it. I make really poor decisions when I'm mad or sick and I need some tips on how other people control the impulse. Anything?	carolinagirl	4	729	Oct 2, 2009 by Jen
	90 meetings in 90 days.........Question about online meetings??? Need some help.... (Preview) I wanted to do 90 meetings in 90 days, starting tomorrow, and REALLY put myself into the program as much as possible right now. I need it for myself and I need it to help me keep the focus on me (as a very close friend told me and is correct-when I was REALLY working the program I was at my happiest) In my area...	shellyj123	9	937	Oct 2, 2009 by Data395
	This program really does work if you work it! Letting go and movin forward...... (Preview) Yesterday was a trying day in many ways. I've had harder I'm sure, but yesterday I was being tested or so it felt. I started the day having to call my son's father's place and dealing with his wife. (my son's father has been an absent parent from day one and I have fought child support battles for years wi...	shellyj123	3	700	Oct 2, 2009 by serendipity
	I don't have the allergy, but I can still relate! (Preview) I've been having a challenging week. AH's family is out visiting and when they visit, AH goes dry. And when he is dry, his disease is exposed and raw and it is ANGRY and HOSTILE and on a witch hunt. The nice thing is, AH's brother and his girlfriend are AA members who take their meetings seriously. I know I g...	Aloha	2	784	Oct 2, 2009 by debilyn
	Day One of 90..Heading in strong (Preview) Woke up this am DETERMINED to put my focus back on me and get out of the rut I have been in. Hit my dailys hard, always grateful that I had the extra money to buy them as they are a gift in each and every way, everyday. Came into the office and the first thing I did was come here and read.....always the best way t...	shellyj123	3	822	Oct 2, 2009 by debilyn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.