Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

noclue · noclue

I have been reading a few post there was a comment about treating others better than yourself. This really hit home I'm guilty, I don't drink or drug I just don't have any desire. My wife on the otherhand who has been clean and sober for almost five years lives everyday to stay that way. When she first cam...

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

My daughter is sobbing, grieving terribly for her cat. This cat was 20 years old and has been her comfort during the A's binges and rages. This cat has dried her tears with his fur, "kissed" (licked) her tears away and stood still while she sobbed into his fur, burying her face, hiding from...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha MIPers/Al-Anon Family Groupers...The consequence of practice is new found or in this case old found knowledge and awareness which is so supportive to ones recovery from the disease and its effects. I remember in early program reading from inside the ODAAT daily reader the wisdom of Dr. Har...

Ginger · Ginger

Hi, I am new here and looking for advise. I have been married 20 years, the problem began 6 years ago. My AH has had help and is in AA. A year ago I thought he reached his rock bottom, and has been sober until about 8weeks ago, when he fell of the wagon for the weekend. I thought when you hit rock bottom you were d...

scotslass · scotslass

Hi everyone im new to this forum have read it a few times thought id post i left my husband finally after 8 years of crap finding it very very difficult not to think about him wonder if hes drinking etc god only knows why but im angry i guess that ive left and hes still drinking what does it take him to stop he by...

rosielee · rosielee

before i de my request i want to fill you in ,y mum has been sober for 15 years but was drunk for 15 yrs before that- when she was drunk, shed go off on abusive ravings and ramblings for hours- it would start from the time she picked us up frm school to the time she crashed out late- we were withdrawn kids and sc...

intothewoods · intothewoods

I feel the need to tell my story, and I'm a writer so this is the easiest way for me to tell it. I'm not so much looking for advice as I am just needing to get this out. Maybe it's my way of telling my HP. If reading this gives you any insight you'd like to share, please do. And thanks in advance if you read the whol...

belle1 · belle1

My Friend Laura(35) Passed Away This Morning Fom Alchol And Pain Killers Abuse Leaving 2 Small Boys With CP 10&6 Yrs Old And Her Long Term Partner Her Organs Failed And Took Swelling On The Brain Which Gave Her Brain Damage Her Family Were Advised To Switch Off Her Life Support. Death leaves a hear...

layneee · layneee

hello.... i've shared serveral times on this site and recieved great words of widom and encouragment and I am more grateful than you could ever know.. this message is to say that my Abf passed away early sunday morning after a struggle with alcohol. He was 31 years old and the absolute love of my life. Ev...

John · John

Hello Fellow members! The outpouring of cards being sent to the MIP recovery homes, for the residents in them is absolutely amazing! The guys are so touched by what you have done. Every time I walk into one of the homes, someone pulls me aside to share one of the cards they have recieved. These are not...

Rora · Rora

I feel like Alanon is a good tool in recognizing some enabling behaviours and helping us to deal better in our relationships with an A, no matter if that relationship is a child, friend, parent, sibling, spouse, what have you. In my particular case, my A is a spouse, from whom I am separated. At this poi...

maresie · maresie

I know one reason I stayed with the ex A was that all his chaos, confusion, demands meant I could not focus on myself at all. In fact I really feel he felt that if I had a moment to myself it was somehow stolen from him. He complained when I was grieving about my mother's sudden death that I was not paying att...

Jen · Jen

I had a minor blowup with my mother this morning. She called to ask me about my A brothers check that our dad always sends for Christmas. I did not realise she was also going to invite me to a resentment. She is codependent, of course, and is very good at sending me these covert invitations to resentments....

shellyj123 · shellyj123

The last thing I wanted to do Friday night was go to my F2F meeting. I haven't been feeling the best physically, mentally or spiritually and the depression is soooo huge and overwelming right now, and didn't really want to rain on anyone else's holidays and good times. As I layed there in bed half asle...

john boy · john boy

T o start off I would like to wish everybody an early Merry Christmas , and a Happy New Year , I am going to pray for forgiveness to my hp ( god ) ! And pray for forgiveness for my X wife and her family and wish them a merry christmas and a happy new year also ! Mabe I'll luck out and my X wife will send me a christmas...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

I'm sorry - just need a bit of a (subdued) vent I now feel my AH is at the point of no return. He spends most of the time in bed, doesn't eat and only moves to drag himself to local shop for more fags and brandy. His only hope, I feel, would be a long spell in residential treatment which neither I nor the (UK) Na...

dori711 · dori711

Surprisingly my husband cut down on his drinking to weekends only. I was already thinking he doesn't have a drinking problem, but today his behavior was very agitated like it hurt his brain to cope even though he wasn't drinking. I spent all evening looking for some papers for him, and you would thi...

fishinmama · fishinmama

As to how I did yesterday...It was a busy day reminding myself to stick to the now. I see how my mind is keeping me stuck in the past. The amount of time I am spending there in sad thoughts or fantasy is amazing. As with anything that is worth while I need to stick to it. I sure see alot of alanon basics in t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just want to mention that my last post was supposed to be funny! I was very excited when I wrote it earlier this week. I had a good experience at the dentist really. I am so happy to report any positive things & hope I will get feedback. This week has been better than most. Maybe it is because Christm...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so happy to finally have gotten my gold crown last WEDS. I was waiting to get in for a few weeks but couldn't get in. You are saying what does that have to do with Alanon? Here goes: I sat in the dentist's chair for several minutes before he could finally get the crown in. It was rocking & even the d...

fishinmama · fishinmama

I started to read a new book. It talks of staying in the now. That our thinking draws from the past and future. I almost put it down when I started as it difficult for me and a different concept. I read at night to close down my brain. This was making me think, but I thought what the heck. It talks about o...

Mom09 · Mom09

This is my first time to post. I'm really lost right now. I have 2 sons that I love very much. D is 21 and b is 20. D went to rehab for 26 days for oxycoti and b does not admit to having a problem. When away to college came home and the last 6 months has been hell. I put both out of the house last night. Both h...

Gailey · Gailey

I don't know how many people have ever picked up the Big Book of AA but I bought one many years ago when I belonged to OA. Chapter 5...How it Works...was read at the beginning of every meeting. I will never forget those words as they mean so much more to me today then they ever did at that time. If you get a chan...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

It finally happened. My husband lost his so-called control over alcohol and didn't come home last night. I called his friend and he said that my husband stayed with them last night and was heading over to the house this morning. What a bunch os BS. If he so innocently stayed there, why didn't he called an...

Ash · Ash

So I am learning how to feel again after creating the habit of denying them for a REALLY long time. My sponsor and therapist say that I am grieving many things right now. Biggest one being the "dream" of the way I thought things were and should (haha) be. Acceptance that hurt hurt's kind of s...

cmh2009 · cmh2009

My husband and I have been separated for just over a month. Due to his alcohol use he came home from a bad day and work and took it out on our teenager and made threats to myself, this is not a normal occurance - the violence but the drinking is the norm. The police were called and he was removed and charged...

suzydawn · suzydawn

I think it has probably been about three years since I last posted. The roller coaster ride I have been on just seems unbelievable to me. I work in adult psychiatric health & work with my share of addictions. I never experienced addictions in my personal life before meeting my now husband. And...

Ash · Ash

Hitting a bit of fear and panic here guys and gals. And I just got out of a meeting to. The reality of this disease is painful and scary to me. I thought the dui in June that my AH got with our son in the car would have snapped him into recovery (I met him in the program when he supposedly had 12 years - that was 7...

pixie711 · pixie711

Hi. My boyfriend of 1 year (2 years of being friends with him) relapsed after 6 years of sobriety a few months ago. Almost two months ago he called things off saying he couldn't handle a relationship considering his state (he's also suffering from depression and anxiety). We were still "talking...

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

I can't believe this happened to me! I am just SO angry!!! Someone broke out the windows in my basement, climbed in, and stole all of the copper pipes in my basement to sell to a scrap metal place to have some money to buy drugs. When I called the police they told me that it is a common crime now, addicts...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

Thank you. Your input to my last post has been fantastic and truly appreciated! You opened up your hearts & souls to me and gave me insight into a difficult subject. I now understand much more and also realize the reasons are as numerous as the stars. To those who felt I was being judgmental, my pos...

hopeful923 · hopeful923

So, within the last 6 months I have seriously addressed my ABF's drinking problem. Of course it's an ongoing issue as I'm sure you can all relate. He has always denied. Always had an excuse and justification for EVERYTHING. I know that this is part of the disease. Well, we got into a fight on Sunday and I...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I was in an open AA meeting this morning. A fellow al-anon shared that he was angry that particular family members would call his alcoholic before they went out to dinner and ask if she minded if they drank. He was angry that the family members wouldn't give up alcohol for one meal. He said that he had g...

jdaniel · jdaniel

Mum powered away a bunch of drinks at dinner and I've got to set a boundry. Can you tell me what you think of this? Is this healthy? --- Mum, Thanks for giving me the time to write this, I think it's just better to digest stuff and then respond. I got your texts and this isnt about whether of not I love you or try...

brynnk · brynnk

Hello, I am looking to attend an Al Anon meeting, and have never been to one before. Can I just show up to one, or do I need to attend a beginners meeting first?

fishinmama · fishinmama

Ok so today I am thinking about fear...I am thinking part of my hang up with let go and let god is fear. fear fear fear...as I reread posts others have written it is extrememly important to overcome our fears to allow growth to flow. I thought about this, this morning. A glance at the past shows me that I h...

jasobel · jasobel

This weekend my alcoholic boyfriend left me yet again. We have been together 2 years, most of the time he has been sober, but this is the third and probably last time. This time he left to live with his parents. He went on a binge 2 months ago and left me to live with another woman who was actively drinking....

Jerry F · Jerry F

Thanks for the responses to "Reaching"...the problem is denial which has its roots firmly planted in my subconscious. I am being reminded of how I got here, what happened and what hasn't been done and why. I understand and need to understand more because of the current situation. So I...

Ragdolls · Ragdolls

I won't go into all of the incidents of this past weekend, just the latest that's irritating me. I don't think I reacted correctly and I need some input. Yesterday evening, I was missing $3 from my purse. I normally don't keep cash in there because it seems to walk off on it's own. I called my alcoholic...

jasobel · jasobel

Hi - I am new to Alanon - well about 2 months. The hardest part for me is getting to meetings. I am a single mom and most meetings are evenings. I work during the day. I can get to one meeting on Sundays when I don't have my daughter - but one meeting a week doesn't seem to do it for me. My boyfriend just left me who...

Rora · Rora

Some of you may recall that I was feeling unhappy with my Sponsor. I felt as though she wasn't listening to me the way I needed her to, that she'd interject and it always seemed like she was waiting on the edge of her seat to speak her mind and experiences, rather than just give the chance to clear out my min...

Not2bforgot10 · Not2bforgot10

My partner and I got into an argument today about Christmas. I know I shouldn't care, but I am really bothered because over Christmas she wants to go and visit her mother, and at her mother's is where all the issues with addiction are. I am highly uncomfortable. Every time I have visited there, there has...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

During the past two days I have done a lot of reflecting on my personal issues and character "traits" (hate to use the word flaws). I've realized that a lot of my anxiety about my upcoming surgery is more likely than not a product of me NOT being able to be in control.......something I a...

so confused · so confused

Well I guess abit of history, I have been with an alcholic for the last 4 years. It wasn't completely apparent in the beginning, but the last year or so has been very bad. He has had a couple of stints with rehad, in fact just came out today. He is very positive and really wanting to try. Starts his AADAC...

hopeful923 · hopeful923

Well, I am still fairly new to this site and this is only my second posting. I have commented once or twice and I read other people's postings. It's comforting to know other people can relate. I know I need to go to Al-ANON meetings. It's just not that easy...with sharing a car and all with my ABF. The last t...

angel66 · angel66

I need help. I actually need strength. I'm tired of dealing w/ my AH , who promises that he will "really work on" cutting his beer drinking down. He still has an alcoholic personality. He still blames me for everything. I am going to start going to f2f meetings next week but I am so frustr...

codependent_who_knew · codependent_who_knew

Its been along time since I have been here and my story is very long, I will make it short...My husband left last year for two months, went to detox and then a half way house.He also moved in with a woman he met and lived with her for the 4 weeks prior to ending up at my door sick about where he ended up. Had every...

blender_girl · blender_girl

My head knows my AH is ill. My head knows he is manipulative. My head knows he is fearful and that his fear is driving a lot of his behavior. My head knows I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to. My heart is angry and frustrated that he is not rational and that I can't have a meaningful discussio...

codependent_who_knew · codependent_who_knew

My AH has been sober now almost 7 months. This is the 1st time he has been soberin 8.5 years for this long and I know this is WHY he is so UP ON HIMSELF.... and has decided to move out and now wants a divorce. He moved out 2 days ago and is already in a frenzy, cant see the kids, NEEDS a meeting.....really hard on...

Mattie · Mattie

I'm in kind of an unusual position -- I took my codie tendencies to whole new complicated lengths. I had an alcoholic husband, and after a lot of turmoil I realized he wasn't going into recovery and I couldn't take it, and so we split up. I was helped through this by a close friend who was a pillar of AA and...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Especially from the old timer but open to the whole group...Share with me your awarenesses and experiences with denial as you understand it. Please... Mahalo in advance. (((((hugs)))))

inhisarms · inhisarms

So as follow up of my last post, my abf got out of jail yesterday. I went and paid for a hotel for him so he would have a place to sleep until today when he was leaving to treatment and sober living in another town. I talked tohim briefly this morning, to tell him I loved him but not who he was when he used. Tha...

Diva · Diva

Once in a while, as all of you know, I have a bit of a disagreement with one or two of the tenets of AlAnon. Just once in a great while, I ask a question, in all sincerity, hoping all of my family here can enlighten me so that I will see the reasoning. Most times I do; sometimes I do not. I asked yesterday about...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I just received the call after my moring meeting. My spouse and her family have just finished attending to the passing of their mother Olivia and she will be returning to the care of her own when the immediate needs are taken care of. This morning's meeting was on the 11th step. "Sought thru p...

Tracy · Tracy

I find this so hard to do!! I am starting to realsie how much I blame the drinker for, how I whip his self esteem. when I have these realizations i feel terrible about myself. I think I must get away from him LOOK WHAT I AM DOING TO HIM AND HE IS SICK. I really really need to get the focus on me my thoughts, acti...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes weeks come & go but bad days last forever! This is sometimes true for me in my mind--the sick part! I am resigned to the fact that some days are just bad! I know I can start my day over but sometimes I just don't want to. I want to wallow in the sickness of it; you know what I mean? I haven't gotte...

Jerry F · Jerry F

God this program works on you when you work on it. Saturday Morning and the wife has been gone for a week and not because I've had anything to do with it and the pups miss her (I think they do anyway...how do pups show they miss anyone who isn't there when they got you?) but seem to be fine using my body heat at...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Well I went to a meeting last night. cried my way there and home. On the way home though, I had a break through for me. I looked at my thinking with the ex and how I threw him out. The truth was shown to me. My heartbreak? It comes from the backfire of my manipulations. I see now that when I threw him out,...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Danz, I hope you have a very happy birthday and that your day is blessed! Happy Birthday sweet lady! Mandy

gknee · gknee

Hi everyone- Its been a tumultuous week at the homestead- to say the least. My AH lost his job of 18 years on Thursday-- the direct result of drinking and drugging and not going to work. They kept him on because he was a good producer but once his business dried up (and he didn't) they were done with him.I ha...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	love you,best friend, get away talk (Preview) I have been reading a few post there was a comment about treating others better than yourself. This really hit home I'm guilty, I don't drink or drug I just don't have any desire. My wife on the otherhand who has been clean and sober for almost five years lives everyday to stay that way. When she first cam...	noclue	3	980	Dec 20, 2009 by Jerry F
	Need prayers for daughter to deal with losing part of support system for A dad. (Preview) My daughter is sobbing, grieving terribly for her cat. This cat was 20 years old and has been her comfort during the A's binges and rages. This cat has dried her tears with his fur, "kissed" (licked) her tears away and stood still while she sobbed into his fur, burying her face, hiding from...	MaryPoppins	10	978	Dec 20, 2009 by MaryPoppins
	An old lesson revisited (Preview) Aloha MIPers/Al-Anon Family Groupers...The consequence of practice is new found or in this case old found knowledge and awareness which is so supportive to ones recovery from the disease and its effects. I remember in early program reading from inside the ODAAT daily reader the wisdom of Dr. Har...	Jerry F	1	799	Dec 20, 2009 by fishinmama
	Newbie needing advice (Preview) Hi, I am new here and looking for advise. I have been married 20 years, the problem began 6 years ago. My AH has had help and is in AA. A year ago I thought he reached his rock bottom, and has been sober until about 8weeks ago, when he fell of the wagon for the weekend. I thought when you hit rock bottom you were d...	Ginger	4	966	Dec 20, 2009 by Tattyhead
	newbie (Preview) Hi everyone im new to this forum have read it a few times thought id post i left my husband finally after 8 years of crap finding it very very difficult not to think about him wonder if hes drinking etc god only knows why but im angry i guess that ive left and hes still drinking what does it take him to stop he by...	scotslass	8	1250	Dec 20, 2009 by kitty
	an introduction and request for support (Preview) before i de my request i want to fill you in ,y mum has been sober for 15 years but was drunk for 15 yrs before that- when she was drunk, shed go off on abusive ravings and ramblings for hours- it would start from the time she picked us up frm school to the time she crashed out late- we were withdrawn kids and sc...	rosielee	4	782	Dec 20, 2009 by Overcome
	My Story WARNING: LONG POST! LOL (Preview) I feel the need to tell my story, and I'm a writer so this is the easiest way for me to tell it. I'm not so much looking for advice as I am just needing to get this out. Maybe it's my way of telling my HP. If reading this gives you any insight you'd like to share, please do. And thanks in advance if you read the whol...	intothewoods	9	954	Dec 19, 2009 by Debilyn
	RIP Friend (Preview) My Friend Laura(35) Passed Away This Morning Fom Alchol And Pain Killers Abuse Leaving 2 Small Boys With CP 10&6 Yrs Old And Her Long Term Partner Her Organs Failed And Took Swelling On The Brain Which Gave Her Brain Damage Her Family Were Advised To Switch Off Her Life Support. *Death leaves a hear...*	belle1	12	914	Dec 19, 2009 by wp
	finally able to RIP..... (Preview) hello.... i've shared serveral times on this site and recieved great words of widom and encouragment and I am more grateful than you could ever know.. this message is to say that my Abf passed away early sunday morning after a struggle with alcohol. He was 31 years old and the absolute love of my life. Ev...	layneee	14	820	Dec 19, 2009 by Tattyhead
	Holiday Amazement - MIP Residents (Preview) Hello Fellow members! The outpouring of cards being sent to the MIP recovery homes, for the residents in them is absolutely amazing! The guys are so touched by what you have done. Every time I walk into one of the homes, someone pulls me aside to share one of the cards they have recieved. These are not...	John	1	840	Dec 19, 2009 by Jen
	Do you ever think Alanon is just a way to cope with an unhappy marriage? (Preview) I feel like Alanon is a good tool in recognizing some enabling behaviours and helping us to deal better in our relationships with an A, no matter if that relationship is a child, friend, parent, sibling, spouse, what have you. In my particular case, my A is a spouse, from whom I am separated. At this poi...	Rora	12	1077	Dec 19, 2009 by Dyinginside
	Reality (Preview) I know one reason I stayed with the ex A was that all his chaos, confusion, demands meant I could not focus on myself at all. In fact I really feel he felt that if I had a moment to myself it was somehow stolen from him. He complained when I was grieving about my mother's sudden death that I was not paying att...	maresie	3	870	Dec 19, 2009 by Andrea12
	Who is it safe to be ME around? (Preview) I had a minor blowup with my mother this morning. She called to ask me about my A brothers check that our dad always sends for Christmas. I did not realise she was also going to invite me to a resentment. She is codependent, of course, and is very good at sending me these covert invitations to resentments....	Jen	4	1265	Dec 19, 2009 by blender_girl
	Challenges are my HP's way to help me grow spiritually.... (Preview) The last thing I wanted to do Friday night was go to my F2F meeting. I haven't been feeling the best physically, mentally or spiritually and the depression is soooo huge and overwelming right now, and didn't really want to rain on anyone else's holidays and good times. As I layed there in bed half asle...	shellyj123	3	1395	Dec 19, 2009 by kitty
	Christmas , and forgiveness (Preview) T o start off I would like to wish everybody an early Merry Christmas , and a Happy New Year , I am going to pray for forgiveness to my hp ( god ) ! And pray for forgiveness for my X wife and her family and wish them a merry christmas and a happy new year also ! Mabe I'll luck out and my X wife will send me a christmas...	john boy	5	1007	Dec 18, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Depressed (Preview) I'm sorry - just need a bit of a (subdued) vent I now feel my AH is at the point of no return. He spends most of the time in bed, doesn't eat and only moves to drag himself to local shop for more fags and brandy. His only hope, I feel, would be a long spell in residential treatment which neither I nor the (UK) Na...	Tattyhead	6	777	Dec 18, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Cut down on drinking. (Preview) Surprisingly my husband cut down on his drinking to weekends only. I was already thinking he doesn't have a drinking problem, but today his behavior was very agitated like it hurt his brain to cope even though he wasn't drinking. I spent all evening looking for some papers for him, and you would thi...	dori711	8	837	Dec 18, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Staying in the now --part 2 (Preview) As to how I did yesterday...It was a busy day reminding myself to stick to the now. I see how my mind is keeping me stuck in the past. The amount of time I am spending there in sad thoughts or fantasy is amazing. As with anything that is worth while I need to stick to it. I sure see alot of alanon basics in t...	fishinmama	2	444	Dec 18, 2009 by fishinmama
	I hope you got it; it was supposed to be FUNNY! (Preview) I just want to mention that my last post was supposed to be funny! I was very excited when I wrote it earlier this week. I had a good experience at the dentist really. I am so happy to report any positive things & hope I will get feedback. This week has been better than most. Maybe it is because Christm...	Hoot Nanny	1	691	Dec 18, 2009 by Jerry F
	A GOLD CROWN FOR ME! (Preview) I am so happy to finally have gotten my gold crown last WEDS. I was waiting to get in for a few weeks but couldn't get in. You are saying what does that have to do with Alanon? Here goes: I sat in the dentist's chair for several minutes before he could finally get the crown in. It was rocking & even the d...	Hoot Nanny	2	616	Dec 18, 2009 by Debilyn
	Staying in the now (Preview) I started to read a new book. It talks of staying in the now. That our thinking draws from the past and future. I almost put it down when I started as it difficult for me and a different concept. I read at night to close down my brain. This was making me think, but I thought what the heck. It talks about o...	fishinmama	4	712	Dec 18, 2009 by jasobel
	hurting mom (Preview) This is my first time to post. I'm really lost right now. I have 2 sons that I love very much. D is 21 and b is 20. D went to rehab for 26 days for oxycoti and b does not admit to having a problem. When away to college came home and the last 6 months has been hell. I put both out of the house last night. Both h...	Mom09	6	782	Dec 18, 2009 by grantofour
	The Big Book of AA (Preview) I don't know how many people have ever picked up the Big Book of AA but I bought one many years ago when I belonged to OA. Chapter 5...How it Works...was read at the beginning of every meeting. I will never forget those words as they mean so much more to me today then they ever did at that time. If you get a chan...	Gailey	4	1026	Dec 18, 2009 by Sincerely
	Slipping Big Time (Preview) It finally happened. My husband lost his so-called control over alcohol and didn't come home last night. I called his friend and he said that my husband stayed with them last night and was heading over to the house this morning. What a bunch os BS. If he so innocently stayed there, why didn't he called an...	Priscilla83	3	532	Dec 17, 2009 by blender_girl
	Feelings... (Preview) So I am learning how to feel again after creating the habit of denying them for a REALLY long time. My sponsor and therapist say that I am grieving many things right now. Biggest one being the "dream" of the way I thought things were and should (haha) be. Acceptance that hurt hurt's kind of s...	Ash	3	667	Dec 17, 2009 by maresie
	Do I ask my husband what part in kids lives (Preview) My husband and I have been separated for just over a month. Due to his alcohol use he came home from a bad day and work and took it out on our teenager and made threats to myself, this is not a normal occurance - the violence but the drinking is the norm. The police were called and he was removed and charged...	cmh2009	7	1011	Dec 17, 2009 by cmh2009
	Can anyone here help me make prediction (Preview) I think it has probably been about three years since I last posted. The roller coaster ride I have been on just seems unbelievable to me. I work in adult psychiatric health & work with my share of addictions. I never experienced addictions in my personal life before meeting my now husband. And...	suzydawn	8	963	Dec 17, 2009 by suzydawn
	Staying connected and out of denial... (Preview) Hitting a bit of fear and panic here guys and gals. And I just got out of a meeting to. The reality of this disease is painful and scary to me. I thought the dui in June that my AH got with our son in the car would have snapped him into recovery (I met him in the program when he supposedly had 12 years - that was 7...	Ash	3	1002	Dec 17, 2009 by Jerry F
	Brand new to all of this (Preview) Hi. My boyfriend of 1 year (2 years of being friends with him) relapsed after 6 years of sobriety a few months ago. Almost two months ago he called things off saying he couldn't handle a relationship considering his state (he's also suffering from depression and anxiety). We were still "talking...	pixie711	4	708	Dec 16, 2009 by Debilyn
	An addict broke into my house! (Preview) I can't believe this happened to me! I am just SO angry!!! Someone broke out the windows in my basement, climbed in, and stole all of the copper pipes in my basement to sell to a scrap metal place to have some money to buy drugs. When I called the police they told me that it is a common crime now, addicts...	MaryPoppins	7	982	Dec 16, 2009 by neshema2
	TYFS (Preview) Thank you. Your input to my last post has been fantastic and truly appreciated! You opened up your hearts & souls to me and gave me insight into a difficult subject. I now understand much more and also realize the reasons are as numerous as the stars. To those who felt I was being judgmental, my pos...	Hawk120025	1	561	Dec 16, 2009 by Andrea12
	noticing something new....blame.... (Preview) So, within the last 6 months I have seriously addressed my ABF's drinking problem. Of course it's an ongoing issue as I'm sure you can all relate. He has always denied. Always had an excuse and justification for EVERYTHING. I know that this is part of the disease. Well, we got into a fight on Sunday and I...	hopeful923	4	834	Dec 16, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Question about my own alcohol consumption (Preview) I was in an open AA meeting this morning. A fellow al-anon shared that he was angry that particular family members would call his alcoholic before they went out to dinner and ask if she minded if they drank. He was angry that the family members wouldn't give up alcohol for one meal. He said that he had g...	White Rabbit	4	1061	Dec 16, 2009 by Aloha
	Is this a good letter? (Preview) Mum powered away a bunch of drinks at dinner and I've got to set a boundry. Can you tell me what you think of this? Is this healthy? --- Mum, Thanks for giving me the time to write this, I think it's just better to digest stuff and then respond. I got your texts and this isnt about whether of not I love you or try...	jdaniel	2	809	Dec 15, 2009 by hotrod
	Attending a meeting (Preview) Hello, I am looking to attend an Al Anon meeting, and have never been to one before. Can I just show up to one, or do I need to attend a beginners meeting first?	brynnk	5	531	Dec 15, 2009 by Jerry F
	Today I look at fear (Preview) Ok so today I am thinking about fear...I am thinking part of my hang up with let go and let god is fear. fear fear fear...as I reread posts others have written it is extrememly important to overcome our fears to allow growth to flow. I thought about this, this morning. A glance at the past shows me that I h...	fishinmama	3	779	Dec 15, 2009 by Jerry F
	He left again! (Preview) This weekend my alcoholic boyfriend left me yet again. We have been together 2 years, most of the time he has been sober, but this is the third and probably last time. This time he left to live with his parents. He went on a binge 2 months ago and left me to live with another woman who was actively drinking....	jasobel	2	524	Dec 15, 2009 by neshema2
	It's Denial (Preview) Thanks for the responses to "Reaching"...the problem is denial which has its roots firmly planted in my subconscious. I am being reminded of how I got here, what happened and what hasn't been done and why. I understand and need to understand more because of the current situation. So I...	Jerry F	12	919	Dec 15, 2009 by hotrod
	Weekends never fail me (Preview) I won't go into all of the incidents of this past weekend, just the latest that's irritating me. I don't think I reacted correctly and I need some input. Yesterday evening, I was missing $3 from my purse. I normally don't keep cash in there because it seems to walk off on it's own. I called my alcoholic...	Ragdolls	7	495	Dec 15, 2009 by abbyal
	Single parents - how do you get to meetings? (Preview) Hi - I am new to Alanon - well about 2 months. The hardest part for me is getting to meetings. I am a single mom and most meetings are evenings. I work during the day. I can get to one meeting on Sundays when I don't have my daughter - but one meeting a week doesn't seem to do it for me. My boyfriend just left me who...	jasobel	3	714	Dec 15, 2009 by jasobel
	Being unhappy with my Sponsor, Part 2 (Preview) Some of you may recall that I was feeling unhappy with my Sponsor. I felt as though she wasn't listening to me the way I needed her to, that she'd interject and it always seemed like she was waiting on the edge of her seat to speak her mind and experiences, rather than just give the chance to clear out my min...	Rora	3	1872	Dec 15, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Fears. (Preview) My partner and I got into an argument today about Christmas. I know I shouldn't care, but I am really bothered because over Christmas she wants to go and visit her mother, and at her mother's is where all the issues with addiction are. I am highly uncomfortable. Every time I have visited there, there has...	Not2bforgot10	24	1503	Dec 15, 2009 by Not2bforgot10
	How does one Let Go and NOT take it back???? I'd love to hear some ESH on this.... (Preview) During the past two days I have done a lot of reflecting on my personal issues and character "traits" (hate to use the word flaws). I've realized that a lot of my anxiety about my upcoming surgery is more likely than not a product of me NOT being able to be in control.......something I a...	shellyj123	1	844	Dec 15, 2009 by kitty
	Soooooooooo Confused and need help I guess. (Preview) Well I guess abit of history, I have been with an alcholic for the last 4 years. It wasn't completely apparent in the beginning, but the last year or so has been very bad. He has had a couple of stints with rehad, in fact just came out today. He is very positive and really wanting to try. Starts his AADAC...	so confused	5	664	Dec 15, 2009 by wolfpup
	I think I am going to leave.... (Preview) Well, I am still fairly new to this site and this is only my second posting. I have commented once or twice and I read other people's postings. It's comforting to know other people can relate. I know I need to go to Al-ANON meetings. It's just not that easy...with sharing a car and all with my ABF. The last t...	hopeful923	8	917	Dec 15, 2009 by intothewoods
	Desperately Need ESH (Preview) I need help. I actually need strength. I'm tired of dealing w/ my AH , who promises that he will "really work on" cutting his beer drinking down. He still has an alcoholic personality. He still blames me for everything. I am going to start going to f2f meetings next week but I am so frustr...	angel66	4	727	Dec 14, 2009 by maresie
	Blind sided (Preview) Its been along time since I have been here and my story is very long, I will make it short...My husband left last year for two months, went to detox and then a half way house.He also moved in with a woman he met and lived with her for the 4 weeks prior to ending up at my door sick about where he ended up. Had every...	codependent_who_knew	4	866	Dec 14, 2009 by canadianguy
	Reconciling My Heart with My Head - Simple, but NOT Easy (Preview) My head knows my AH is ill. My head knows he is manipulative. My head knows he is fearful and that his fear is driving a lot of his behavior. My head knows I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to. My heart is angry and frustrated that he is not rational and that I can't have a meaningful discussio...	blender_girl	1	591	Dec 14, 2009 by hotrod
	Curious....Sober for the 1st time in 8 .5 years (Preview) My AH has been sober now almost 7 months. This is the 1st time he has been soberin 8.5 years for this long and I know this is WHY he is so UP ON HIMSELF.... and has decided to move out and now wants a divorce. He moved out 2 days ago and is already in a frenzy, cant see the kids, NEEDS a meeting.....really hard on...	codependent_who_knew	3	882	Dec 14, 2009 by Jerry F
	Could use some ESH (Preview) I'm in kind of an unusual position -- I took my codie tendencies to whole new complicated lengths. I had an alcoholic husband, and after a lot of turmoil I realized he wasn't going into recovery and I couldn't take it, and so we split up. I was helped through this by a close friend who was a pillar of AA and...	Mattie	3	510	Dec 14, 2009 by abbyal
	Reaching again... (Preview) Especially from the old timer but open to the whole group...Share with me your awarenesses and experiences with denial as you understand it. Please... Mahalo in advance. (((((hugs)))))	Jerry F	10	953	Dec 14, 2009 by canadianguy
	After tears and sadness , now im mad rollercoaster is a ride I hate (Preview) So as follow up of my last post, my abf got out of jail yesterday. I went and paid for a hotel for him so he would have a place to sleep until today when he was leaving to treatment and sober living in another town. I talked tohim briefly this morning, to tell him I loved him but not who he was when he used. Tha...	inhisarms	5	870	Dec 14, 2009 by wildthang86
	Deleting posts..... (Preview) Once in a while, as all of you know, I have a bit of a disagreement with one or two of the tenets of AlAnon. Just once in a great while, I ask a question, in all sincerity, hoping all of my family here can enlighten me so that I will see the reasoning. Most times I do; sometimes I do not. I asked yesterday about...	Diva	14	1074	Dec 14, 2009 by LarryWhiteford
	Life continues (Preview) I just received the call after my moring meeting. My spouse and her family have just finished attending to the passing of their mother Olivia and she will be returning to the care of her own when the immediate needs are taken care of. This morning's meeting was on the 11th step. "Sought thru p...	Jerry F	9	885	Dec 14, 2009 by blender_girl
	focusing on self pick up the mirror (Preview) I find this so hard to do!! I am starting to realsie how much I blame the drinker for, how I whip his self esteem. when I have these realizations i feel terrible about myself. I think I must get away from him LOOK WHAT I AM DOING TO HIM AND HE IS SICK. I really really need to get the focus on me my thoughts, acti...	Tracy	3	790	Dec 13, 2009 by Jerry F
	WHAT IS A WEEK WITHOUT A FEW BAD DAYS! (Preview) Sometimes weeks come & go but bad days last forever! This is sometimes true for me in my mind--the sick part! I am resigned to the fact that some days are just bad! I know I can start my day over but sometimes I just don't want to. I want to wallow in the sickness of it; you know what I mean? I haven't gotte...	Hoot Nanny	1	688	Dec 13, 2009 by Jerry F
	I'd Like to complain but forgot how anymore.... (Preview) God this program works on you when you work on it. Saturday Morning and the wife has been gone for a week and not because I've had anything to do with it and the pups miss her (I think they do anyway...how do pups show they miss anyone who isn't there when they got you?) but seem to be fine using my body heat at...	Jerry F	5	1345	Dec 13, 2009 by Loupiness
	I got some new alanon glasses last night...I saw myself (Preview) Well I went to a meeting last night. cried my way there and home. On the way home though, I had a break through for me. I looked at my thinking with the ex and how I threw him out. The truth was shown to me. My heartbreak? It comes from the backfire of my manipulations. I see now that when I threw him out,...	fishinmama	2	648	Dec 13, 2009 by hotrod
	Happy Birthday Danz123 (Preview) Danz, I hope you have a very happy birthday and that your day is blessed! Happy Birthday sweet lady! Mandy	Mandy123	7	920	Dec 13, 2009 by Andrea12
	fall out of logical consequences (Preview) Hi everyone- Its been a tumultuous week at the homestead- to say the least. My AH lost his job of 18 years on Thursday-- the direct result of drinking and drugging and not going to work. They kept him on because he was a good producer but once his business dried up (and he didn't) they were done with him.I ha...	gknee	2	947	Dec 12, 2009 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.