Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Ferny · Ferny

Long time browser, first time poster. I guess I just need any advice or comfort that people throw at me. Background on me: never had personal experience with alcoholism until now, except in distant and dead relatives. I recently became engaged to a very nice man. We are very compatible in basic valu...

bessie · bessie

This is my first attempt to seek out advice on what I've known has been a problem for several years now. My brother, who lives in Las Vegas (I am in NY), and who has been in a relationship for over 30 years, has been drinking regularly and more and more heavily. His partner asked me for help a little over a y...

intothewoods · intothewoods

I discovered a new term! "gas lighting" or one word, "gaslighting". (from Wikipedia) "Gaslighting is a form of intimidation or psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory and perception. The classic e...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hey all: OK - so took me a bit to process my yesterday. I'll try to keep it simple, but in a nut-shell this was my yesterday. Started out 'great'. Took my oldest to his therapy appointment @ 8:15am, and we had time to stop for coffee. He viewed that as a treat, I viewed it as a necessity. Anyhow, he's soon t...

powerlessmom · powerlessmom

My daughter, Christina was diagnosed with Bipolar/borderline personality at age 11 and she is now 25. She struggles with depression, alcohol abuse (binge drinking) and an eating disorder. Currently, she is on medication and her eating disorder is now under control but that is when alcohol is the...

RLC · RLC

Some days we need a little humor, and some jokes can make a point that we can relate to our program. To me this joke is another reminder to "Not React". I hope you enjoy it, and take it in the spirit is is intended. A woman complains to her therapist about fights and arguments between she and he...

Rora · Rora

For many years married to my exaH I complained about his complete lack of taking responsibility for himself. I am learning more and more about how my manipulation and control tactics and refusal to accept my reality, was ME not taking responsibility for MYSELF. I have not been unaware to my unhappy m...

bioteach · bioteach

my daughter is in recovery and has found peace ... my struggle for acceptwnce and giving all of my control to GOD STILL is an issue .... please give me insight on how to find peace...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I spent the day yesterday cleaning out my computer room. I shredded years worth of financial documents, and cleaned out cabinets full of not-my-stuff. Much belonging to my exAH, I just piled it up and now need a big box! Considered tossing/shredding the nonessentials, but only hung onto that tho...

SheWolf · SheWolf

I really need to vent about some things and I hope that you don't mind. My A has finished his treatment 2 weeks ago, but is now out of province with his parents due to legal conditions (which should be removed this week or next). We had several conversations about him coming home. He stated how scared he i...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

I am trying to work thru this maze of dealing with my girlfriend now. I've been counseled to hang in there with her. I really want to, but I am afraid, so afraid. I feel compelled to open up to her as she asks me to. She can tell that I am avoiding her. My therapist can tell. But I am so afraid. I got close to her la...

bioteach · bioteach

so acceptant of God and his palns for her and I am so so distrustful, praranoid ... not so much of her .... but my lack of control in most of life's problems ...... where do I turn .. what do I do>???

Ness · Ness

Hi folksI posted a couple of days ago.....What would you do (regarding giving our son a replacement phone)....and you all reinforced what I knew would be my (read on!) decision. Yesterday husb asked when we were going to send Ason the phone........aaaarrrrrrghhh!! I explained I had been giving i...

Ness · Ness

Hi All.....Im stuck with what to doAson, at Christmas, had his phone stolen out his pocket while he lay in a drink induced slumber I have a pay-plan on my mobile phone which means me, husb, daughter and Ason get free calls between us all.I have an old phone I could add to the pay-plan that I could give him,...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Just keep thinking about you and wondering how you are doing now? Kept up with your situation. Such a hard time. I keep ya in my prayers and thoughts. Do you feel like updating us? Spill it pretty lady, I have seen her, she is beautiful! love,debilyn

blender_girl · blender_girl

Background: My AH and I separated under less than optimal circumstances this past October. He is now living with a friend of his and we are going through the process of divorce. This has been a real rollercoaster ride for all of us. My 9 year old son and I are back in the house and we were able to quickly st...

Sam72 · Sam72

HI, Just wondering if it is possible to close your own topic? Or does someone else do it? Thanx

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family, hope you're all feeling great. Just wanted to share the slogan that we did our morning meeting on. I reflected on when I got here and when I took the suggestions to learn, memorize and practice the slogans. I also remember "gettin it" on "keep it simple" as a pra...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So it's been whirlwind lately and I have craziness on top of craziness. The ex finally left yesterday to go to California to live with the next ex/new girlfriend. Maybe this one can save him? I'm being facetious of course. She's very nice and tolerant so maybe it'll last for a bit. My oldest daughter...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Ok family I have had a couple of rough days with some shinny spots. My son got a dui last week he is already on very supervised probation. Following the DUI (which I knew nothing about at the time) I answered the door in my jammies and here was his PO. They asked if he was here and I looked over to see if h...

Debilyn · Debilyn

http://africantortoise.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_navId=x475d1134

Codependent · Codependent

I do enjoy talking to him from rehab and he has asked me to come see him, but admitting that I am powerless over my feelings for him and that he does not feel that way toward me....I am thinking that means no calls and no visits....do I have to broach this via phone or do you think a text is just way too chicken t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hello to all and I'm very grateful I found you! My story is not unique at all but I'm having a very difficult time channeling the chatter in my head and aligning that with my heart. I am fortunate (or not) to qualify for this program as well as AA. I found AA in 1985, and have been blessed with 24 years clean a...

pineapple · pineapple

This is a jump off from another post about enabling. This has been tough for me to figure out. Am I helping or enabling? I often don't know. But Jerry posted a reply to that thread which made such sense to me. I wish I had figured it out by myself. He said ¨What I learned was If the person lacked the time, abil...

Caton · Caton

Hello all! I'm new to this forum. I am 23 years old and have been living with an alcoholic mother my whole life. She has been abusive both verbally and mentally. I am in college so I only see her in the summer and during vacations but I have so much anger towards her and what she did to me that I find it hard to ta...

maire rua · maire rua

Sometime ago I told you that I had taken my step mother's dog. I had misgivings at the time, but my A father was cruel to the dog and she was not getting out from under an old sideboard in the sitting room. I have no regrets for taking her. She has brought such joy to my life, she stopped losing her hair, I think...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

((((((((((Hello Friends)))))))), I have had a couple of rough days lately for some reason my husband has been on my mind alot.....as I watch my daughter take her journey in life...I am so proud of her..she is a wonderful mom....going to college full time and working a part time job..she has made so muc...

miss lucy · miss lucy

I never had a particularly good self image. Sure i can put makeup on and dress nicely. Other people have said I am pretty, got lovely eyes etc. but I never believed any of it I've just been watching a re-run of one of Gok Wan's how to look good naked programmes. He was helping a lady, who had been through...

3littlekittens · 3littlekittens

Hi all-- My AH moved out finally Dec 31 and quite honestly, my life has been full of peace, serenity, independence, and in a word: bliss. I am sleeping, my eating is under control, I am more focused, I'm tons more productive at home, and most importantly I feel more connected to and more patient with my ch...

maresie · maresie

I am tryng to change my attitude from "its not fair", "poor me" to accepting what is my lot today. I know it is far far better than it was 3 years ago. My reflex thoughts are always its not fair and poor me so I have to take it second by second and I am finding it very hard going. No wonder...

miss lucy · miss lucy

AH is seriously testing my patience today....non stop text messages...indirect messages through other people....questions, questions, questions! of course i haven't let him know he is getting to me...i haven't entered into the arguement he is trying to cause....i haven't even answered his...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Retired from rescuing the big kids, horses, llamas, pigs huge and small. BUT have always wanted a tortoise in my life. So an opportunity came up to rescue one. He is only about a hundred pounds now, lives in my living room. lol I was going to make a bedroom just for him but decided heck with that, I don't wa...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I know my daughter is an A and I`am trying not to engage in any more arguments with her. I really only want to talk to her about my grandaughter who she has custody of. This 6 year old has heard us have many an argument but mostly sees her mother scream and rage. Over X-mass I heard my daughter call me the filth...

Suzi1965 · Suzi1965

I just wanted to share the changes I have gone through since starting to work my program. I am really taking the idea of taking care of me seriously. I have gone to a Dr. and had a full check up, which doesnt sound like much but the thought of doing that always scared me before..(better not to know type thin...

kerry5 · kerry5

Hey Christy!!!! Just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday :) Hope its a good one for you!! ((((((((hugs))))))))) Kerry

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hey all: I'm sitting here, tears and all trying to write my post. I guess since I've got 2 Active As in my home, I am extremely powerless. At times, I feel so powerless and confused, action is difficult. I did go to a meeting last night, and that was a good thing. I tried to go today, however the Ason got pu...

miss lucy · miss lucy

hello again...am back feeling much better than when i last posted. have had a good sleep and the meds kicked in so have eaten (first time since yesterday morning). thanks to all who posted hugs.....really appreciated them. Special thanks to Hotrod for reminding me of the unconditional love i get...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

After talking to an old friend this am, I realized that I am still holding on to a tremendously large amount of resentments when it comes to my older brothers, for a variety of reasons, many to do with regards to my 77 year old mother, whom I am very close to. My friend suggested communication on all of our p...

brightmommy · brightmommy

I am struggling with everything right now. My world as I knew it has been turned upside down and inside out. I am having trouble letting go. We have been together since I was 14 years old and married for 11 years. I am currently going through a divorce. He has committed the ultimate betrayal. Last nig...

miss lucy · miss lucy

I NEED A HUG!!! i have been doing so well....but today i feel like throwing the towel in and returning to AH....i know i shouldn't for my sake as much as his. My IBS symptoms have presented themselves again (presumably due to the stress and the cold weather) and i feel lousy...weak....useless. i am tu...

miss lucy · miss lucy

good morning all......01.00 and i can't sleep....am busy finishing today's task of writing the next chapter of my novel, a task that should have been finished almost 2 years ago but AH stopped me working on the computer because he needed...well you know how that one goes! now i am in my own place i can d...

jasobel · jasobel

I have had so much going on in my life besides my ex A leaving me last month. My best friend has cancer, my ex-husband is on a rampage about my daughter and it just seems like life gets crazier every day. My sponsor said I am doing a good job at giving others in my life over to my HP - but not myself. How do I ask fo...

Charlie · Charlie

-Not a good night. -Empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. -Watching it all fall apart. I can't / don't want to discuss it right now. But, I guess you've all been there before. After not much sleep, I took my 20 minute drive to the MARC station to go to work. Waited around 15 minutes and got an announcement...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am finding that being me is OK. I am getting more comfortable in my own skin! I have had many setbacks in my recovery but today is a great day. The sun is shining & it is not cold up here. We have had unusually warm temps. for January so far. Too all who have been suffering from really bad weather, I fee...

Festfan · Festfan

Arrrggg The past few days have been rough I have had a lot of breakthroughs about myself from this forum and general self- assessment, but Im feeling a little battered because I see the problems (enabling, codepend, self esteem, etc.) but cant work through the solutions yet. I really need to start...

tryingtofindaway2009 · tryingtofindaway2009

I did it, Its been two weeks since i kicked him out and four days since i called it quits. He called last night asking to come home.... He said he would do out patient and go to meetings if he could just come home. I want him to do inpatient so i can see that getting better is something he is serious about... i al...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I genuinely believe, especially after this week, that my HP leads me right where I need to be, right when I need to be there. Not in my time-but always in His. To make a long story short, I set some boundaries this week-probally my first that I can really remember setting and thinking "I need to do th...

CJ098 · CJ098

Hi my friends. My last post on here was May 16th, 2008. I had just kicked out my husband, (AH) and I was nervous about starting over. I was living in Denver, CO then, finishing my Medical Assisting degree. Well almost a year after that post I graduated, and moved back to NY with my family. Since then I...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Last night a very good friend called on me to bring me a gift, to ask how I was doing and to talk with me about my possible input in our community - we meet every other week to discuss various topics and work out how we can support each other through our life journeys. One of the topics that has been chosen is PA...

HawkRN · HawkRN

Hi, I'm new to Al-Anon, infact, last night I went to my first meeting. I was nervous and didn't know what to expect, but it went well! Everyone was very welcoming and I learned a few things! Now the scary part is trying to accept the fact that I need help and can't do this on my own. I've always been the ty...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Lately I've been given many opportunities to become aware of my self pity. My distorted belief system where a basic precept exists: I am unworthy and undeserving and simply LESS than. I navigate life based on this belief and my self-esteem issues and insecurities bloom. This keeps me stuck in my sel...

blender_girl · blender_girl

I need to detach - big time. My patience is wearing thin and my resentments are cropping up. The control freak in me is just bursting to get out. ARGH! After being on the receiving end of a couple of snarky emails and voicemails, I found myself thinking that if he didn't stop that behavior towards me...

miss lucy · miss lucy

AH has been doing really well and has been dry almost a week...we continue to live apart but see each other casually as we live so close to each other. we pass the time of day, share the car to go shopping, chat about our days and genuinely enjoy spending time together. he knows i have lost my trust in him b...

maresie · maresie

I came from a family where the parents reversed roles with the children. Somehow I became responsible for my younger sister's school phobia (I think to this day she still believes that), I was responsible for their poverty, isolation and desperate secrecy. So when I hear the word "selfish&...

regigse · regigse

I am a little confused, the majority of posts here that I am reading seem to indicate that many of the members here have an alcoholic/addict in their life, the majority appear to be boyfriends, husbands/wives, and if they are working their program then they are able to accept the A for who he or she is...

Tracy · Tracy

I ended up ringing my friend she said that she had been holding in things becaus e she new I was in a bad palce. basically we had a reaally unhealthy relationship. I people pleased all my friends now that i am looking out for me some who are healthy are o.k but the friend who got drunk is in a bad place and fe...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok, So These last couple weeks, I have began again taking on Step 4, and in doing so I slammed into a "Personal" Road Block... Expectation Verses Respect... Is Respect an Expectation? I Mean Really...I am by no means perfect nor do I desire to have that kind of a Title placed upon me, however,...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

why is he so damn selfish? I swear he thinks the world revolves around him. everything is his way...what we watch, eat for dinner, board games we may play. and if i have a different opinion it's like dealing with a pouty 4 year old. but then it's me...i'm just a complainer and he does nothing right. ...

Gypsy_Phisch · Gypsy_Phisch

I talked with my brother last night and told him that he had 3 weeks to find another place to live. He was very understanding and didn't seem to be upset. And then after we both went to bed and the house was quiet, I could hear him crying in the next room. Needless to say, I have felt like a complete heel eve...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Not sure WHAT it is, but I'm feeling pretty empty and sad. I'm just trying to allow myself to feel the feelings and allow them to be so they can pass over me and not to resist or fight them. I am tired of the cycle of self abuse and self rejection. I must remember that the answer is NOT a change in others, but a ch...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Scared about our engagement (super long-- sorry) (Preview) Long time browser, first time poster. I guess I just need any advice or comfort that people throw at me. Background on me: never had personal experience with alcoholism until now, except in distant and dead relatives. I recently became engaged to a very nice man. We are very compatible in basic valu...	Ferny	9	964	Jan 25, 2010 by maresie
	long distance help for sibling...what can I do? (Preview) This is my first attempt to seek out advice on what I've known has been a problem for several years now. My brother, who lives in Las Vegas (I am in NY), and who has been in a relationship for over 30 years, has been drinking regularly and more and more heavily. His partner asked me for help a little over a y...	bessie	5	833	Jan 25, 2010 by bessie
	New term: gaslighting (Preview) I discovered a new term! "gas lighting" or one word, "gaslighting". (from Wikipedia) "Gaslighting is a form of intimidation or psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory and perception. The classic e...	intothewoods	6	4653	Jan 25, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	BABY STEPS - Ebb & Flow of 24 Hours (Preview) Hey all: OK - so took me a bit to process my yesterday. I'll try to keep it simple, but in a nut-shell this was my yesterday. Started out 'great'. Took my oldest to his therapy appointment @ 8:15am, and we had time to stop for coffee. He viewed that as a treat, I viewed it as a necessity. Anyhow, he's soon t...	Iamhere	3	712	Jan 25, 2010 by Iamhere
	Need help (Preview) My daughter, Christina was diagnosed with Bipolar/borderline personality at age 11 and she is now 25. She struggles with depression, alcohol abuse (binge drinking) and an eating disorder. Currently, she is on medication and her eating disorder is now under control but that is when alcohol is the...	powerlessmom	3	636	Jan 25, 2010 by powerlessmom
	(Humor) Gargling With Chamomile Tea !!! (Preview) Some days we need a little humor, and some jokes can make a point that we can relate to our program. To me this joke is another reminder to "Not React". I hope you enjoy it, and take it in the spirit is is intended. A woman complains to her therapist about fights and arguments between she and he...	RLC	2	2502	Jan 25, 2010 by Karilynn
	Taking responsibility.... (Preview) For many years married to my exaH I complained about his complete lack of taking responsibility for himself. I am learning more and more about how my manipulation and control tactics and refusal to accept my reality, was ME not taking responsibility for MYSELF. I have not been unaware to my unhappy m...	Rora	5	874	Jan 25, 2010 by Festfan
	help me (Preview) my daughter is in recovery and has found peace ... my struggle for acceptwnce and giving all of my control to GOD STILL is an issue .... please give me insight on how to find peace...	bioteach	4	804	Jan 24, 2010 by Christy
	It feels soooo good! (Preview) I spent the day yesterday cleaning out my computer room. I shredded years worth of financial documents, and cleaned out cabinets full of not-my-stuff. Much belonging to my exAH, I just piled it up and now need a big box! Considered tossing/shredding the nonessentials, but only hung onto that tho...	Loupiness	3	748	Jan 24, 2010 by Suzannah
	I am so confused... (Preview) I really need to vent about some things and I hope that you don't mind. My A has finished his treatment 2 weeks ago, but is now out of province with his parents due to legal conditions (which should be removed this week or next). We had several conversations about him coming home. He stated how scared he i...	SheWolf	7	1042	Jan 24, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	what do I do? (my friend) She wants me to open up ; I'm afraid (Preview) I am trying to work thru this maze of dealing with my girlfriend now. I've been counseled to hang in there with her. I really want to, but I am afraid, so afraid. I feel compelled to open up to her as she asks me to. She can tell that I am avoiding her. My therapist can tell. But I am so afraid. I got close to her la...	Carol_Lynn	3	943	Jan 24, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	help me ...I have spengt the last 30 minutes talking to my daughter who is in a recovery center ... she is awesome and (Preview) so acceptant of God and his palns for her and I am so so distrustful, praranoid ... not so much of her .... but my lack of control in most of life's problems ...... where do I turn .. what do I do>???	bioteach	3	957	Jan 24, 2010 by Jerry F
	One says no..... one says yes......(easy does it!!) (Preview) Hi folksI posted a couple of days ago.....What would you do (regarding giving our son a replacement phone)....and you all reinforced what I knew would be my (read on!) decision. Yesterday husb asked when we were going to send Ason the phone........aaaarrrrrrghhh!! I explained I had been giving i...	Ness	3	802	Jan 24, 2010 by Jerry F
	What would you do? (Preview) Hi All.....Im stuck with what to doAson, at Christmas, had his phone stolen out his pocket while he lay in a drink induced slumber I have a pay-plan on my mobile phone which means me, husb, daughter and Ason get free calls between us all.I have an old phone I could add to the pay-plan that I could give him,...	Ness	10	1021	Jan 24, 2010 by Diva
	You whooooo Diva (Preview) Just keep thinking about you and wondering how you are doing now? Kept up with your situation. Such a hard time. I keep ya in my prayers and thoughts. Do you feel like updating us? Spill it pretty lady, I have seen her, she is beautiful! love,debilyn	Debilyn	2	824	Jan 24, 2010 by Diva
	Interesting conversation with my 9 year old - pondering how to proceed (Preview) Background: My AH and I separated under less than optimal circumstances this past October. He is now living with a friend of his and we are going through the process of divorce. This has been a real rollercoaster ride for all of us. My 9 year old son and I are back in the house and we were able to quickly st...	blender_girl	9	858	Jan 24, 2010 by blender_girl
	Close Topic (Preview) HI, Just wondering if it is possible to close your own topic? Or does someone else do it? Thanx	Sam72	3	902	Jan 24, 2010 by Andrea12
	Keep it Simple... (Preview) Aloha Family, hope you're all feeling great. Just wanted to share the slogan that we did our morning meeting on. I reflected on when I got here and when I took the suggestions to learn, memorize and practice the slogans. I also remember "gettin it" on "keep it simple" as a pra...	Jerry F	9	1324	Jan 24, 2010 by Iamhere
	my life is not how i imagined (Preview) So it's been whirlwind lately and I have craziness on top of craziness. The ex finally left yesterday to go to California to live with the next ex/new girlfriend. Maybe this one can save him? I'm being facetious of course. She's very nice and tolerant so maybe it'll last for a bit. My oldest daughter...	carolinagirl	8	1008	Jan 24, 2010 by Iamhere
	Pretty much just a vent (Preview) Ok family I have had a couple of rough days with some shinny spots. My son got a dui last week he is already on very supervised probation. Following the DUI (which I knew nothing about at the time) I answered the door in my jammies and here was his PO. They asked if he was here and I looked over to see if h...	fishinmama	3	776	Jan 24, 2010 by Iamhere
	Saturday (Preview) http://africantortoise.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_navId=x475d1134	Debilyn	5	855	Jan 24, 2010 by Iamhere
	One more thing... (Preview) I do enjoy talking to him from rehab and he has asked me to come see him, but admitting that I am powerless over my feelings for him and that he does not feel that way toward me....I am thinking that means no calls and no visits....do I have to broach this via phone or do you think a text is just way too chicken t...	Codependent	4	716	Jan 24, 2010 by Iamhere
	The Chatter in my Brain --- The Pain in my Heart (Preview) Hello to all and I'm very grateful I found you! My story is not unique at all but I'm having a very difficult time channeling the chatter in my head and aligning that with my heart. I am fortunate (or not) to qualify for this program as well as AA. I found AA in 1985, and have been blessed with 24 years clean a...	Iamhere	15	1020	Jan 24, 2010 by Iamhere
	enabling (Preview) This is a jump off from another post about enabling. This has been tough for me to figure out. Am I helping or enabling? I often don't know. But Jerry posted a reply to that thread which made such sense to me. I wish I had figured it out by myself. He said ¨What I learned was If the person lacked the time, abil...	pineapple	3	887	Jan 24, 2010 by idontknow
	advice needed... (Preview) Hello all! I'm new to this forum. I am 23 years old and have been living with an alcoholic mother my whole life. She has been abusive both verbally and mentally. I am in college so I only see her in the summer and during vacations but I have so much anger towards her and what she did to me that I find it hard to ta...	Caton	5	959	Jan 23, 2010 by Mattie
	update on taking step-mom's dog last year (Preview) Sometime ago I told you that I had taken my step mother's dog. I had misgivings at the time, but my A father was cruel to the dog and she was not getting out from under an old sideboard in the sitting room. I have no regrets for taking her. She has brought such joy to my life, she stopped losing her hair, I think...	maire rua	8	969	Jan 23, 2010 by Charlie
	Progress (Preview) ((((((((((Hello Friends)))))))), I have had a couple of rough days lately for some reason my husband has been on my mind alot.....as I watch my daughter take her journey in life...I am so proud of her..she is a wonderful mom....going to college full time and working a part time job..she has made so muc...	Andrea12	3	559	Jan 23, 2010 by Karilynn
	The woman in the mirror (Preview) I never had a particularly good self image. Sure i can put makeup on and dress nicely. Other people have said I am pretty, got lovely eyes etc. but I never believed any of it I've just been watching a re-run of one of Gok Wan's how to look good naked programmes. He was helping a lady, who had been through...	miss lucy	2	835	Jan 23, 2010 by CJ
	I'm scared...need ESH (Preview) Hi all-- My AH moved out finally Dec 31 and quite honestly, my life has been full of peace, serenity, independence, and in a word: bliss. I am sleeping, my eating is under control, I am more focused, I'm tons more productive at home, and most importantly I feel more connected to and more patient with my ch...	3littlekittens	7	875	Jan 23, 2010 by 3littlekittens
	Attitude is everything. (Preview) I am tryng to change my attitude from "its not fair", "poor me" to accepting what is my lot today. I know it is far far better than it was 3 years ago. My reflex thoughts are always its not fair and poor me so I have to take it second by second and I am finding it very hard going. No wonder...	maresie	6	1178	Jan 22, 2010 by Christy
	just need to vent! (Preview) AH is seriously testing my patience today....non stop text messages...indirect messages through other people....questions, questions, questions! of course i haven't let him know he is getting to me...i haven't entered into the arguement he is trying to cause....i haven't even answered his...	miss lucy	0	553	Jan 22, 2010 by ImFree2004
	New Eden Addition (Preview) Retired from rescuing the big kids, horses, llamas, pigs huge and small. BUT have always wanted a tortoise in my life. So an opportunity came up to rescue one. He is only about a hundred pounds now, lives in my living room. lol I was going to make a bedroom just for him but decided heck with that, I don't wa...	Debilyn	10	873	Jan 22, 2010 by Rita G
	Practicing Keeping Quiet (Preview) I know my daughter is an A and I`am trying not to engage in any more arguments with her. I really only want to talk to her about my grandaughter who she has custody of. This 6 year old has heard us have many an argument but mostly sees her mother scream and rage. Over X-mass I heard my daughter call me the filth...	Samsgram	2	1313	Jan 22, 2010 by Andrea12
	New Year and new way of facing life.. thanks to Al-Anon (Preview) I just wanted to share the changes I have gone through since starting to work my program. I am really taking the idea of taking care of me seriously. I have gone to a Dr. and had a full check up, which doesnt sound like much but the thought of doing that always scared me before..(better not to know type thin...	Suzi1965	2	879	Jan 22, 2010 by hotrod
	Happy Birthday Christy (Cjo) (Preview) Hey Christy!!!! Just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday :) Hope its a good one for you!! ((((((((hugs))))))))) Kerry	kerry5	16	1100	Jan 22, 2010 by Karilynn
	Detachment - Why Harder for one than another? (Preview) Hey all: I'm sitting here, tears and all trying to write my post. I guess since I've got 2 Active As in my home, I am extremely powerless. At times, I feel so powerless and confused, action is difficult. I did go to a meeting last night, and that was a good thing. I tried to go today, however the Ason got pu...	Iamhere	8	997	Jan 22, 2010 by Iamhere
	creativity triumphs!!!! (Preview) hello again...am back feeling much better than when i last posted. have had a good sleep and the meds kicked in so have eaten (first time since yesterday morning). thanks to all who posted hugs.....really appreciated them. Special thanks to Hotrod for reminding me of the unconditional love i get...	miss lucy	3	782	Jan 21, 2010 by wildthang86
	Ways to deal with resentments???? Need some input..... (Preview) After talking to an old friend this am, I realized that I am still holding on to a tremendously large amount of resentments when it comes to my older brothers, for a variety of reasons, many to do with regards to my 77 year old mother, whom I am very close to. My friend suggested communication on all of our p...	shellyj123	5	873	Jan 21, 2010 by shellyj123
	divorce after 11 years of marriage...how to let go (Preview) I am struggling with everything right now. My world as I knew it has been turned upside down and inside out. I am having trouble letting go. We have been together since I was 14 years old and married for 11 years. I am currently going through a divorce. He has committed the ultimate betrayal. Last nig...	brightmommy	12	1360	Jan 21, 2010 by brightmommy
	am not feeling great today - (Preview) I NEED A HUG!!! i have been doing so well....but today i feel like throwing the towel in and returning to AH....i know i shouldn't for my sake as much as his. My IBS symptoms have presented themselves again (presumably due to the stress and the cold weather) and i feel lousy...weak....useless. i am tu...	miss lucy	7	912	Jan 21, 2010 by shellyj123
	MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME (Preview) good morning all......01.00 and i can't sleep....am busy finishing today's task of writing the next chapter of my novel, a task that should have been finished almost 2 years ago but AH stopped me working on the computer because he needed...well you know how that one goes! now i am in my own place i can d...	miss lucy	3	604	Jan 21, 2010 by miss lucy
	Step Two Help - Restoring myself to sanity (Preview) I have had so much going on in my life besides my ex A leaving me last month. My best friend has cancer, my ex-husband is on a rampage about my daughter and it just seems like life gets crazier every day. My sponsor said I am doing a good job at giving others in my life over to my HP - but not myself. How do I ask fo...	jasobel	5	646	Jan 21, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Sleepless Night (Preview) -Not a good night. -Empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. -Watching it all fall apart. I can't / don't want to discuss it right now. But, I guess you've all been there before. After not much sleep, I took my 20 minute drive to the MARC station to go to work. Waited around 15 minutes and got an announcement...	Charlie	6	920	Jan 21, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	BEING ME IS OK (Preview) I am finding that being me is OK. I am getting more comfortable in my own skin! I have had many setbacks in my recovery but today is a great day. The sun is shining & it is not cold up here. We have had unusually warm temps. for January so far. Too all who have been suffering from really bad weather, I fee...	Hoot Nanny	8	1124	Jan 21, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	I am a roadblock to myself... (Preview) Arrrggg The past few days have been rough I have had a lot of breakthroughs about myself from this forum and general self- assessment, but Im feeling a little battered because I see the problems (enabling, codepend, self esteem, etc.) but cant work through the solutions yet. I really need to start...	Festfan	3	790	Jan 21, 2010 by RunnerChick
	I told him i loved him and then i walked away (Preview) I did it, Its been two weeks since i kicked him out and four days since i called it quits. He called last night asking to come home.... He said he would do out patient and go to meetings if he could just come home. I want him to do inpatient so i can see that getting better is something he is serious about... i al...	tryingtofindaway2009	7	1091	Jan 21, 2010 by RunnerChick
	Detachment, boundaries and guilt- (Preview) I genuinely believe, especially after this week, that my HP leads me right where I need to be, right when I need to be there. Not in my time-but always in His. To make a long story short, I set some boundaries this week-probally my first that I can really remember setting and thinking "I need to do th...	shellyj123	4	2314	Jan 21, 2010 by Ness
	It's been a while - and I'm finally happy!!!! (Preview) Hi my friends. My last post on here was May 16th, 2008. I had just kicked out my husband, (AH) and I was nervous about starting over. I was living in Denver, CO then, finishing my Medical Assisting degree. Well almost a year after that post I graduated, and moved back to NY with my family. Since then I...	CJ098	4	861	Jan 20, 2010 by nmike
	PAIN (Preview) Last night a very good friend called on me to bring me a gift, to ask how I was doing and to talk with me about my possible input in our community - we meet every other week to discuss various topics and work out how we can support each other through our life journeys. One of the topics that has been chosen is PA...	Suzannah	5	1146	Jan 20, 2010 by maresie
	New and scared (Preview) Hi, I'm new to Al-Anon, infact, last night I went to my first meeting. I was nervous and didn't know what to expect, but it went well! Everyone was very welcoming and I learned a few things! Now the scary part is trying to accept the fact that I need help and can't do this on my own. I've always been the ty...	HawkRN	9	699	Jan 20, 2010 by maresie
	I am the problem (Preview) Lately I've been given many opportunities to become aware of my self pity. My distorted belief system where a basic precept exists: I am unworthy and undeserving and simply LESS than. I navigate life based on this belief and my self-esteem issues and insecurities bloom. This keeps me stuck in my sel...	RunnerChick	7	954	Jan 20, 2010 by Debilyn
	Has anyone seen my ax? (Preview) I need to detach - big time. My patience is wearing thin and my resentments are cropping up. The control freak in me is just bursting to get out. ARGH! After being on the receiving end of a couple of snarky emails and voicemails, I found myself thinking that if he didn't stop that behavior towards me...	blender_girl	3	837	Jan 20, 2010 by Debilyn
	WALKING AWAY FELT GOOD (Preview) AH has been doing really well and has been dry almost a week...we continue to live apart but see each other casually as we live so close to each other. we pass the time of day, share the car to go shopping, chat about our days and genuinely enjoy spending time together. he knows i have lost my trust in him b...	miss lucy	8	949	Jan 20, 2010 by miss lucy
	Enmeshment. (Preview) I came from a family where the parents reversed roles with the children. Somehow I became responsible for my younger sister's school phobia (I think to this day she still believes that), I was responsible for their poverty, isolation and desperate secrecy. So when I hear the word "selfish&...	maresie	8	1698	Jan 20, 2010 by blender_girl
	Is this so? (Preview) I am a little confused, the majority of posts here that I am reading seem to indicate that many of the members here have an alcoholic/addict in their life, the majority appear to be boyfriends, husbands/wives, and if they are working their program then they are able to accept the A for who he or she is...	regigse	6	946	Jan 20, 2010 by pineapple
	spoke to friend. (Preview) I ended up ringing my friend she said that she had been holding in things becaus e she new I was in a bad palce. basically we had a reaally unhealthy relationship. I people pleased all my friends now that i am looking out for me some who are healthy are o.k but the friend who got drunk is in a bad place and fe...	Tracy	3	680	Jan 20, 2010 by Christy
	Expectation Verses Respect... Lookin for ESH (Preview) Ok, So These last couple weeks, I have began again taking on Step 4, and in doing so I slammed into a "Personal" Road Block... Expectation Verses Respect... Is Respect an Expectation? I Mean Really...I am by no means perfect nor do I desire to have that kind of a Title placed upon me, however,...	Jozie	8	1060	Jan 19, 2010 by Jozie
	and another thing... (Preview) why is he so damn selfish? I swear he thinks the world revolves around him. everything is his way...what we watch, eat for dinner, board games we may play. and if i have a different opinion it's like dealing with a pouty 4 year old. but then it's me...i'm just a complainer and he does nothing right. ...	lizzakiss	6	1004	Jan 19, 2010 by RunnerChick
	split personalities?? (Preview) I talked with my brother last night and told him that he had 3 weeks to find another place to live. He was very understanding and didn't seem to be upset. And then after we both went to bed and the house was quiet, I could hear him crying in the next room. Needless to say, I have felt like a complete heel eve...	Gypsy_Phisch	6	1948	Jan 19, 2010 by Jerry F
	Just feeling sad (Preview) Not sure WHAT it is, but I'm feeling pretty empty and sad. I'm just trying to allow myself to feel the feelings and allow them to be so they can pass over me and not to resist or fight them. I am tired of the cycle of self abuse and self rejection. I must remember that the answer is NOT a change in others, but a ch...	RunnerChick	5	752	Jan 19, 2010 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.