Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Codependent · Codependent

Tomorrow is my birthday. Gotta cold and dont' feel well. Supposed to snow. Haven't called the A since he asked for money and he asked contacted me. Just kinda down.

grammie · grammie

Grammie here, there is a drunk in the chat room and we cant kick him cause there is no op here. thanks in advance love in recovery, grammie

hotblackink · hotblackink

Hello. I'm new here. I am angry at the moment - but as you all probably know, tomorrow will be completely different (at least for a few hours here or there). And I am paranoid about what to tell you all to call me because I was subconsciously raised to be paranoid. Which does come in handy when I do crazy thin...

Gailey · Gailey

My son has one on his truck for a dui. His truck is old and some of the lights on his running board don't go out right away. It is an electrical problem that he really doesn't have the money to get fixed. Anyway...a lot of the time he has to jump start it with mine or hubby's car. The battery finally died and wou...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

My AH and I have been once again separated and now in the process of getting either a legal separation or divorce. His drivers license has been suspended for a year. Therefore, when I need something from him, such as copies of documents, I must drive out to where he now lives : in the country with his sin...

babysteps · babysteps

I need to have a short pity party or I won't be able to get on with my day/life. My AH and I are separated and not speaking. We are trying to figure out our divorce settlement, but that is made difficult by his refusal to communicate. He hasn't paid any child support, I don't know if I will get to keep my house,...

miss lucy · miss lucy

i have had just the greatest day!!! i just want to shout from the roof tops but i live in a mobile home so i will shout here instead..... the car passed its MOT without needing any work doing on it - 12 months hassle free motoring!!!!!! my dog lucy learnt to Sit and Wait at a gate today and i performed a two dog S...

tea2 · tea2

The Chair opened the Meeting with "The Serenity Prayer" First Item: Approval of December Meeting Minutes -Vote was held and the Minutes were approved as posted on Message Board. Next Item: Review of Op meeting schedule -The current OP Meeting Schedule is as follows: AMMon. - Shimo/N...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Lately I am finding that life is not that easy: what a concept, huh? Some days I feel that I am coasting through life until I see my doctor. Not that it was all bad news but it was very disturbing & frustrating. I won't go into details but I am very uncomfortable. Also, just when I think I've got it lick...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hello MIP family, At last I have a reliable way to access and post to this forum. Maybe HP was telling me to take time out and focus on me? Many of you know that hubby passed away a few weeks ago. We are still in the middle of the grieving "process". At first the idea of a process scared me - does...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I am so sick of my ex-Abf going on about suicide. how he has a plan. He went to a meeting yesterday and his mood was very good, more positive, calmer...like he was when I first met him and he was diligently working his program. It made me want to share with him things I have been learning in my recovery, ma...

Haleyb12 · Haleyb12

My daughter is 15 and last spring took my car in the middle of the night after drinking with a bunch of boys-- she was very drunk and ended up being arrested for DUI (she does not have her drivers license) She recently went to court for this incident. The day before her court date she was caught at school s...

ARG... justice for Alanon Members · ARSK

So I keep reading about people who go to treatment and find a sense of inner peace, and a solid chance to get on their feet with support. This applies to those in substance as well as emotional issues. SO I start looking around for a center that might have an out patient or in patient based service for Emo...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hey MIP Family - Over the past few years, as my Son's addiction has progressed, I have been unable to look at family and baby photos. We repainted the largest areas of our home 3-4 years ago, and never put the photos back up. We've got some in other areas of the home and I do my best to avert my glaze. The pho...

Rora · Rora

I was reading the post linked to the Times Article "Our Mother's Drinking was Wrecking us".... and I thought, "even if they're not drinking, they can still wreck (us)" My exaH insists on caring for our 5 yr old child on Tuesdays. Before he goes for work on afternoons exaH bring...

KRS · KRS

I am new to this forum and am new to Al-Anon so please help me find a way to work through this initial sharing. My daughter is my "A" and has been been living with us for the last 4 years on and off between rehab and sober living....she has been home for the last 3 months and finds every opportunity...

Suzannah · Suzannah

It may be the sickness that is responsible for this, they do say that Shingles brings on depression, or it may be a turn of events that simply brings my brain back to a negative point; I don't really understand. So, why have I once again found myself travelling the lonely path of self destruction by simpl...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

My current job is a very emotionally abusive environment. I realize the need to remain there for the financial benefits - obviously- so I try to endure what I can but, day by day it becomes harder for me to remain the passive individual I am required to be in order NOT to make waves in my company. I know I've...

Maria123 · Maria123

Can anyone share their experience and knowledge of 13 stepping? I thought I understood it but am not sure any more. It seems to be a common theme I am seeing in Alanon and I have such mixed thoughts about it. I lost my sponsor (understandably so) because she and her husband whom she met in Alanon broke up...

Jozie · Jozie

Anxiety N Me... This is something I have Fought dang near, All My Life... I remember growing up, and I went from a lit. Farm Girl, up till age 9 that is.... When My parents would fight before we left, I remember being scared to death to Move when i was in bed & could hear them screaming at each other, Most...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I was listening to another person sharing their recovery and perspective and they commented on the practice of loving with detachment which caused me to be hooked on the realization that I had always heard and had come to learn and practice detachment with love. Detachment with love was the third an...

miss lucy · miss lucy

well......we have had a lovely day...shopping together, eating a meal, sitting talking, walking the dog....you know....nice, calm every day stuff. then he just couldnt resist spoiling it!!! We were talking about the impact of us splitting up. He said he missed me terribly,,,realised he had t...

meagain · meagain

I was going to start this new year - just starting to end the 'drama' in my life and look after me-this is my year-I am turning 60 and I so many health problems and need to get in shape and lose weight. But its sooo hard for me to try and look after me! I get so caught up in other peoples drama (family). For one th...

Codependent · Codependent

So the A sent me a picture of a sunrise on the ocean this morning- his view- with the caption "Have a great day!" While this should have been nice, it only irritated me that while I was running his child to school and late for a morning meeting at work, he was watching the sunrise on the beach con...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Thanks to all who replied to my post both publicly and privately. All of your responses had a common theme which ultimately reinforces the lesson I've been having to keep learning lately - I simply can't expect rational behavior from an active A. I will not be confronting him with his unacceptable b...

pineapple · pineapple

OK, I will say that my life has gotten calmer now that I'm learning to take care of ME. I'm beginning to wonder how well I can really do that with Ah in my life. In the past year I've thought numerous times of telling him he has to leave. But we cannot afford two households, we're barely making it holding one...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

For those of you who have been following... my position is that I have put my daughter and her much older boyfriend in a position of getting married or him going to jail. They chose to get married and I was going to allow this. Since that time there have been unbelievable obstacles thrown out by his pare...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning family. I am happy to report that yesterday was event free. We did not see the police, the emergency room, the diversion officer - and I am really, really grateful. There were opportunities for me to react, and I chose to do so very differently. I read here yesterday about addiction to ch...

Codependent · Codependent

Got a text from the A yesterday that he needed to ask me for a favor. For him, that is usually the same thing- money. So, I just ignored it. He called last night and I didn't answer. This morning he kept sending texts.."hello??" So I responded with good morning. He then texted " I wa...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I haven't been by much the past week or so and for that I apologize. Reading here or there but struggling again with medical issues, so not here as much as I would like to be. Last Tuesday I was diagnosed with PTSD as a result of my last surgery. The Dr prescribed Lexapro for the anxiety and Xanax to help me...

Diva · Diva

TTReply Quote "... its okay to have balance in the process and there is no way to surgically remove emotions and thoughts unless you consider a frontal lobotomy." Thank you Jerry. These are precisely the words I have wanted to hear spoken on this forum. I have always felt it is AlAnon's wa...

ARSK · ARSK

Hi, I am doing my recovery and am in the early stages. In the process I have lost nearly anyone that was pretty much unhealthy, which was most everyone. Starting with my A Stepfather and my codependent mother. Got married and had a disagreement, more or less my A stepfather threw a tantrum and I refus...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I had mentioned in an earlier post that I need a break from my AH. He's in jail for 45 days and I feel like I've talked to him and seen him more the past 2 weeks (since he's been in) than I have the past 2 months when he wasn't in jail. Anyway, I had to take him to/from work the past few days and it always felt like s...

maresie · maresie

When I am dealing with an active alcoholic I often get caught up with their words rather than their actions. I know I need to evaluate their actions rather than their words which can become a huge hook into resentment, frustration and compulsion. For example the man who recently came to work in my depa...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I think I've finally decided on a person who I would like to be my sponsor. Now the question is, do I ask her in person, over the phone, or via e-mail? I'd hate to put her on the spot, but I also think she works her program so well that if she had to think about it or pray about it she would be upfront with me and t...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

I am getting to know my friend Lia and she is WONDERFUL. She has been opening up to me and sharing her life issues and her own wounds as well as identifying with mine. It feels so good to be able to help her and to be helped by her. I am so used to the drama of an empty, dry well of a relationship with a practicing a...

Festfan · Festfan

Seriously... We got into it after he was a complete GROUCH all weekend - I think because he was actually not drinking when we were out. But everything irritated him. I really wanted to throttle him. So today we start talking about it and I object to how he acted all weekend and I decided to spend the day a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I never know if it's a good thing or not, but I'm one to share, openly, often and for purpose - to get it out. I am so grateful to have a place to share, and know that I won't be judged, my family won't be judged and I can 'dump' and work on healing. I've made stopping hear to get ESH my 2nd task of each day recently...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I don't know if I have shared on here before about this - but I suffer from my own self-destructive behaviors that are not substance related, but act to numb and control feelings the same way that drugs and alcohol do. I have been in deep denial about having a problem - believing I wasn't "sick"...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Dear ____, The time has come for me to communicate with you about some behavior that I find unacceptable and define the consequences of this behavior should you continue to perpetuate it. It is unacceptable for you to share intimate details of my past behavior with our 19 year old son, even if it's und...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm having the hardest time of my life right now. I feel like I'm lost, desperate, hopeless and there is no good solution to my problems. The situation with my oldest daughter is horriffic, there is no win here, I have set events into motion that I can't reverse and I can't live with her and can't live wi...

Sam72 · Sam72

My A and I just had yet another fight, I'm crying as I sit and write this. I have only been with him for a little over two years. He was married and in a relationship with his wife for almost twenty years. Every time we have a fight he accuses me of doing the things she did. I cant take it any more. He yells at me to...

Sam72 · Sam72

Hi can someone please tell me where I can read what the 12 steps are. I checked the step work board, but I cant see it there. Would appreciate some help please. Thanx

HawkRN · HawkRN

Hi, I am pretty new at dealing with my feelings about my Abf. So, I need some advice. He has been texting/calling this girl, who he says is just a friend. Well, I am pretty uncomfortable about this & we spoke about it when he was sober & I told him how uncomfortable I am with it & he agreed to d...

lmw · lmw

Just got a message from ex-AH (I didn't pick up the phone when he called). He'd been sober maybe 60 days (I don't count any more) and picked up again on Friday. He was supposed to go see his family by bus around Christmas, but weather prevented the trip. The bus line refunded the money to my account, sin...

Jozie · Jozie

Hi MIP... (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))) As Most that know me, no that in the summers we have a place down at the river we go...Well being by the river it is indeed in a "Flood Zone" and we normally pull all things out by the end of Sept, but this year, My Husband used our camper to stay in...

Wolfie · Wolfie

Hi. How you all doing? My wife Nancy and I were regular attendees here at MIP a few years back. We've been away for a while, involved in other aspects of recovery, but through a series of coincidences we have returned to Miracles in Progress. Since coming back, we have met many old friends and made some ne...

ARSK · ARSK

Hi,I am a little lost. Could someone please tell me what ESH means?Thanks,Alicia

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I have been feeling a little "unsafe" lately - allowing, my ex-bf to emotionally get close to me. Discussing the need not to be together - understanding the need to work on ourselves, but also struggling to let go of expectations. I offered to help him get some sidework through my company. I...

Ness · Ness

This article was in the Times newspaper today.....may be of interest to some. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/features/article7002002.eceAt long last in one part of the UK the effect on children of a parent drinking is being recognised..... and addressed........

miss lucy · miss lucy

AH went to the doctor's today... the doctor told him that he was quite mad. AH asked for a second opinion........ the doctor said. "ok...you are stupid as well"! AH asked me if i could cut his sandwich for him...sure says I...would you like it cut into two pieces or four? AH replied .....

idontknow · idontknow

Every day I learn more and more what step one is, and for the first time I feel more at peace about it. The biggest struggle for me is taking that with me wherever I go. I am so good at "covering up" everything, that even when I'm somewhere I can get help, I still wear that "everything is fine...

Not2bforgot10 · Not2bforgot10

I wanted to let everybody know that I will be moving from my home where I have lived the last 3 years... I am absolutely devastated. A series of events have happened to where I have come to the conclusion that I cannot stay here. Burlington, VT is too expensive for me with my student loans now taking effe...

Jerry F · Jerry F

No not a post...a title of a book that I don't remember mentioning to this fellowship. Under the Influence is one of the text we used in the college in went to and to study alcoholism and addictions. (Didn't trust the program to be complete with me...wrong!!) Any how it is a masterpiece by Dr. James R. Mil...

Not2bforgot10 · Not2bforgot10

Hi, my name is Emily. I am 25 years old. I am part of the Alanon Miracles in Progress Community and am looking for a 12-stepper or otherwise HEALTHY individual/living space (physical) to stay with for 6-12 solid months beginning sometime in April or May. I am straight-edge and do not use substance of a...

intothewoods · intothewoods

So I have kind of a weird problem. I am doing pretty good at detaching from my AH when he's drunk. I see a beer in his hand, and think "It's the disease talking!" and I'm A-OK. I can ignore the bad stuff and laugh at the fun stuff. But when he's sober, I find myself reacting and mirroring his mood an...

Codependent · Codependent

First of all, let me say that I really loved reading the enabling posts. I have found myself stepping over boundaries a lot here lately both in my professional and personal life. I am a social worker and I keep putting myself- as they say with good intentions- into situations that perhaps I do not have...

Codependent · Codependent

So, I'm not sure if I ever posted that the A is actually gonna be living in Florida after rehab. So that adds another dimension to our relationship. My therapist thinks I should completely cut off the relationship as he had pictures of his ex from 6 years ago out before he left for rehab and maybe he is on...

maresie · maresie

Six months ago I had a check stolen and to date I still have not had it replaced. I have no idea who took the check but have an idea it was someone with an active addiciton who took an opportunity and ran with it. Someday I may know I don't hold out for that information anymore. I do know its been months of ph...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I woke up this morning, and have an upset tummy and a bit of what usually comes with that. Also, my hands are a bit shaky - so I just don't feel 'right' physically. Might this be from trying to not react and change how I respond? I honestly don't know if I am getting sick or if my body is speaking to me in anoth...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Down tonight (Preview) Tomorrow is my birthday. Gotta cold and dont' feel well. Supposed to snow. Haven't called the A since he asked for money and he asked contacted me. Just kinda down.	Codependent	11	1050	Jan 31, 2010 by Festfan
	op needed in the chat room..asap please (Preview) Grammie here, there is a drunk in the chat room and we cant kick him cause there is no op here. thanks in advance love in recovery, grammie	grammie	4	829	Jan 31, 2010 by kitty
	New here. You're gonna get a mouthful. (Preview) Hello. I'm new here. I am angry at the moment - but as you all probably know, tomorrow will be completely different (at least for a few hours here or there). And I am paranoid about what to tell you all to call me because I was subconsciously raised to be paranoid. Which does come in handy when I do crazy thin...	hotblackink	8	979	Jan 31, 2010 by maresie
	INTERLOCKING BREATHALYZER (Preview) My son has one on his truck for a dui. His truck is old and some of the lights on his running board don't go out right away. It is an electrical problem that he really doesn't have the money to get fixed. Anyway...a lot of the time he has to jump start it with mine or hubby's car. The battery finally died and wou...	Gailey	1	1212	Jan 31, 2010 by Charlie
	Wanted to "rescue" but didn't (Preview) My AH and I have been once again separated and now in the process of getting either a legal separation or divorce. His drivers license has been suspended for a year. Therefore, when I need something from him, such as copies of documents, I must drive out to where he now lives : in the country with his sin...	GailMichelle	6	965	Jan 31, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Pity party (Preview) I need to have a short pity party or I won't be able to get on with my day/life. My AH and I are separated and not speaking. We are trying to figure out our divorce settlement, but that is made difficult by his refusal to communicate. He hasn't paid any child support, I don't know if I will get to keep my house,...	babysteps	3	762	Jan 31, 2010 by Iamhere
	what a great day!!!!! (Preview) i have had just the greatest day!!! i just want to shout from the roof tops but i live in a mobile home so i will shout here instead..... the car passed its MOT without needing any work doing on it - 12 months hassle free motoring!!!!!! my dog lucy learnt to Sit and Wait at a gate today and i performed a two dog S...	miss lucy	4	801	Jan 31, 2010 by Jerry F
	1.3.10 MIP Chat Room Group Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) The Chair opened the Meeting with "The Serenity Prayer" First Item: Approval of December Meeting Minutes -Vote was held and the Minutes were approved as posted on Message Board. Next Item: Review of Op meeting schedule -The current OP Meeting Schedule is as follows: AMMon. - Shimo/N...	tea2	0	735	Jan 30, 2010 by tea2
	SO...IT IS NOT THAT EASY! (Preview) Lately I am finding that life is not that easy: what a concept, huh? Some days I feel that I am coasting through life until I see my doctor. Not that it was all bad news but it was very disturbing & frustrating. I won't go into details but I am very uncomfortable. Also, just when I think I've got it lick...	Hoot Nanny	3	849	Jan 30, 2010 by Jerry F
	Update on my family (Preview) Hello MIP family, At last I have a reliable way to access and post to this forum. Maybe HP was telling me to take time out and focus on me? Many of you know that hubby passed away a few weeks ago. We are still in the middle of the grieving "process". At first the idea of a process scared me - does...	Rocky38	7	843	Jan 30, 2010 by maresie
	suicide (Preview) I am so sick of my ex-Abf going on about suicide. how he has a plan. He went to a meeting yesterday and his mood was very good, more positive, calmer...like he was when I first met him and he was diligently working his program. It made me want to share with him things I have been learning in my recovery, ma...	lizzakiss	7	981	Jan 30, 2010 by maresie
	calling the police on your child (Preview) My daughter is 15 and last spring took my car in the middle of the night after drinking with a bunch of boys-- she was very drunk and ended up being arrested for DUI (she does not have her drivers license) She recently went to court for this incident. The day before her court date she was caught at school s...	Haleyb12	11	2387	Jan 30, 2010 by Haleyb12
	ARG... justice for Alanon Members (Preview) So I keep reading about people who go to treatment and find a sense of inner peace, and a solid chance to get on their feet with support. This applies to those in substance as well as emotional issues. SO I start looking around for a center that might have an out patient or in patient based service for Emo...	ARSK	5	831	Jan 30, 2010 by Haleyb12
	Emotional Triggers - Family/Baby Photos...Need some ESH (Preview) Hey MIP Family - Over the past few years, as my Son's addiction has progressed, I have been unable to look at family and baby photos. We repainted the largest areas of our home 3-4 years ago, and never put the photos back up. We've got some in other areas of the home and I do my best to avert my glaze. The pho...	Iamhere	6	1377	Jan 30, 2010 by Iamhere
	I need some ESH please.... (Preview) I was reading the post linked to the Times Article "Our Mother's Drinking was Wrecking us".... and I thought, "even if they're not drinking, they can still wreck (us)" My exaH insists on caring for our 5 yr old child on Tuesdays. Before he goes for work on afternoons exaH bring...	Rora	9	1023	Jan 30, 2010 by Rora
	Don't know where to turn (Preview) I am new to this forum and am new to Al-Anon so please help me find a way to work through this initial sharing. My daughter is my "A" and has been been living with us for the last 4 years on and off between rehab and sober living....she has been home for the last 3 months and finds every opportunity...	KRS	6	804	Jan 29, 2010 by Rocky38
	That old demon rears his head once more... (Preview) It may be the sickness that is responsible for this, they do say that Shingles brings on depression, or it may be a turn of events that simply brings my brain back to a negative point; I don't really understand. So, why have I once again found myself travelling the lonely path of self destruction by simpl...	Suzannah	5	868	Jan 29, 2010 by glad lee
	Believing in Myself (Preview) My current job is a very emotionally abusive environment. I realize the need to remain there for the financial benefits - obviously- so I try to endure what I can but, day by day it becomes harder for me to remain the passive individual I am required to be in order NOT to make waves in my company. I know I've...	RunnerChick	6	585	Jan 29, 2010 by Iamhere
	13 Stepping (Preview) Can anyone share their experience and knowledge of 13 stepping? I thought I understood it but am not sure any more. It seems to be a common theme I am seeing in Alanon and I have such mixed thoughts about it. I lost my sponsor (understandably so) because she and her husband whom she met in Alanon broke up...	Maria123	10	5012	Jan 29, 2010 by idontknow
	Anxiety N Me...Hard reality... (Preview) Anxiety N Me... This is something I have Fought dang near, All My Life... I remember growing up, and I went from a lit. Farm Girl, up till age 9 that is.... When My parents would fight before we left, I remember being scared to death to Move when i was in bed & could hear them screaming at each other, Most...	Jozie	3	947	Jan 29, 2010 by ARSK
	A thoughtful twist on a recovery lesson (Preview) I was listening to another person sharing their recovery and perspective and they commented on the practice of loving with detachment which caused me to be hooked on the realization that I had always heard and had come to learn and practice detachment with love. Detachment with love was the third an...	Jerry F	7	994	Jan 29, 2010 by Andrea12
	AH gave me an ultimatum!!! (Preview) well......we have had a lovely day...shopping together, eating a meal, sitting talking, walking the dog....you know....nice, calm every day stuff. then he just couldnt resist spoiling it!!! We were talking about the impact of us splitting up. He said he missed me terribly,,,realised he had t...	miss lucy	6	994	Jan 29, 2010 by blender_girl
	A 'New' Year (Preview) I was going to start this new year - just starting to end the 'drama' in my life and look after me-this is my year-I am turning 60 and I so many health problems and need to get in shape and lose weight. But its sooo hard for me to try and look after me! I get so caught up in other peoples drama (family). For one th...	meagain	3	845	Jan 29, 2010 by RunnerChick
	More resentment.... (Preview) So the A sent me a picture of a sunrise on the ocean this morning- his view- with the caption "Have a great day!" While this should have been nice, it only irritated me that while I was running his child to school and late for a morning meeting at work, he was watching the sunrise on the beach con...	Codependent	10	969	Jan 29, 2010 by BatonRougian
	Feeling Better today (Preview) Thanks to all who replied to my post both publicly and privately. All of your responses had a common theme which ultimately reinforces the lesson I've been having to keep learning lately - I simply can't expect rational behavior from an active A. I will not be confronting him with his unacceptable b...	blender_girl	3	615	Jan 28, 2010 by Rocky38
	dont know how much more I can take (Preview) OK, I will say that my life has gotten calmer now that I'm learning to take care of ME. I'm beginning to wonder how well I can really do that with Ah in my life. In the past year I've thought numerous times of telling him he has to leave. But we cannot afford two households, we're barely making it holding one...	pineapple	3	809	Jan 28, 2010 by Rocky38
	Today is a new day (Preview) For those of you who have been following... my position is that I have put my daughter and her much older boyfriend in a position of getting married or him going to jail. They chose to get married and I was going to allow this. Since that time there have been unbelievable obstacles thrown out by his pare...	carolinagirl	7	648	Jan 28, 2010 by Tenderheartsks
	Happy To Report ..... Grounded in the Moment (Preview) Good morning family. I am happy to report that yesterday was event free. We did not see the police, the emergency room, the diversion officer - and I am really, really grateful. There were opportunities for me to react, and I chose to do so very differently. I read here yesterday about addiction to ch...	Iamhere	5	1006	Jan 28, 2010 by Ness
	He asked me for money... (Preview) Got a text from the A yesterday that he needed to ask me for a favor. For him, that is usually the same thing- money. So, I just ignored it. He called last night and I didn't answer. This morning he kept sending texts.."hello??" So I responded with good morning. He then texted " I wa...	Codependent	9	670	Jan 28, 2010 by Ness
	Control V/S Self Care..... (Preview) I haven't been by much the past week or so and for that I apologize. Reading here or there but struggling again with medical issues, so not here as much as I would like to be. Last Tuesday I was diagnosed with PTSD as a result of my last surgery. The Dr prescribed Lexapro for the anxiety and Xanax to help me...	shellyj123	2	705	Jan 28, 2010 by Iamhere
	Thanks Jerry... (Preview) TTReply Quote "... its okay to have balance in the process and there is no way to surgically remove emotions and thoughts unless you consider a frontal lobotomy." Thank you Jerry. These are precisely the words I have wanted to hear spoken on this forum. I have always felt it is AlAnon's wa...	Diva	2	763	Jan 28, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Finding Healthy Friends and Maintaining Relationships (Preview) Hi, I am doing my recovery and am in the early stages. In the process I have lost nearly anyone that was pretty much unhealthy, which was most everyone. Starting with my A Stepfather and my codependent mother. Got married and had a disagreement, more or less my A stepfather threw a tantrum and I refus...	ARSK	7	1345	Jan 28, 2010 by Iamhere
	Our Selfish Program (Preview) I had mentioned in an earlier post that I need a break from my AH. He's in jail for 45 days and I feel like I've talked to him and seen him more the past 2 weeks (since he's been in) than I have the past 2 months when he wasn't in jail. Anyway, I had to take him to/from work the past few days and it always felt like s...	N8SMOM	8	1384	Jan 28, 2010 by Iamhere
	Action versus words (Preview) When I am dealing with an active alcoholic I often get caught up with their words rather than their actions. I know I need to evaluate their actions rather than their words which can become a huge hook into resentment, frustration and compulsion. For example the man who recently came to work in my depa...	maresie	4	732	Jan 28, 2010 by Iamhere
	Sponsor Question (Preview) I think I've finally decided on a person who I would like to be my sponsor. Now the question is, do I ask her in person, over the phone, or via e-mail? I'd hate to put her on the spot, but I also think she works her program so well that if she had to think about it or pray about it she would be upfront with me and t...	N8SMOM	3	625	Jan 27, 2010 by CJ
	withdrawal from drama---feels so weird (Preview) I am getting to know my friend Lia and she is WONDERFUL. She has been opening up to me and sharing her life issues and her own wounds as well as identifying with mine. It feels so good to be able to help her and to be helped by her. I am so used to the drama of an empty, dry well of a relationship with a practicing a...	Carol_Lynn	3	862	Jan 27, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	My ABF thinks the solution is ... for me to give up CARBS!?!? (Preview) Seriously... We got into it after he was a complete GROUCH all weekend - I think because he was actually not drinking when we were out. But everything irritated him. I really wanted to throttle him. So today we start talking about it and I object to how he acted all weekend and I decided to spend the day a...	Festfan	9	893	Jan 27, 2010 by Festfan
	The Needle and The Spoon ... Making Sense of it All (Preview) I never know if it's a good thing or not, but I'm one to share, openly, often and for purpose - to get it out. I am so grateful to have a place to share, and know that I won't be judged, my family won't be judged and I can 'dump' and work on healing. I've made stopping hear to get ESH my 2nd task of each day recently...	Iamhere	9	763	Jan 27, 2010 by Loupiness
	Getting Help for myself (Preview) I don't know if I have shared on here before about this - but I suffer from my own self-destructive behaviors that are not substance related, but act to numb and control feelings the same way that drugs and alcohol do. I have been in deep denial about having a problem - believing I wasn't "sick"...	RunnerChick	3	846	Jan 27, 2010 by intothewoods
	Another Letter to my AH (Preview) Dear ____, The time has come for me to communicate with you about some behavior that I find unacceptable and define the consequences of this behavior should you continue to perpetuate it. It is unacceptable for you to share intimate details of my past behavior with our 19 year old son, even if it's und...	blender_girl	2	816	Jan 27, 2010 by maresie
	Hardest time of my life (Preview) I'm having the hardest time of my life right now. I feel like I'm lost, desperate, hopeless and there is no good solution to my problems. The situation with my oldest daughter is horriffic, there is no win here, I have set events into motion that I can't reverse and I can't live with her and can't live wi...	carolinagirl	9	1157	Jan 27, 2010 by RunnerChick
	Sick of being accused of things I havn't done. (Preview) My A and I just had yet another fight, I'm crying as I sit and write this. I have only been with him for a little over two years. He was married and in a relationship with his wife for almost twenty years. Every time we have a fight he accuses me of doing the things she did. I cant take it any more. He yells at me to...	Sam72	7	3179	Jan 27, 2010 by RunnerChick
	12 Steps (Preview) Hi can someone please tell me where I can read what the 12 steps are. I checked the step work board, but I cant see it there. Would appreciate some help please. Thanx	Sam72	3	944	Jan 27, 2010 by Sam72
	I need some advice (Preview) Hi, I am pretty new at dealing with my feelings about my Abf. So, I need some advice. He has been texting/calling this girl, who he says is just a friend. Well, I am pretty uncomfortable about this & we spoke about it when he was sober & I told him how uncomfortable I am with it & he agreed to d...	HawkRN	5	782	Jan 27, 2010 by RLC
	Some things never change... (Preview) Just got a message from ex-AH (I didn't pick up the phone when he called). He'd been sober maybe 60 days (I don't count any more) and picked up again on Friday. He was supposed to go see his family by bus around Christmas, but weather prevented the trip. The bus line refunded the money to my account, sin...	lmw	2	667	Jan 27, 2010 by blender_girl
	Growth, Or So It Seems... (Preview) Hi MIP... (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))) As Most that know me, no that in the summers we have a place down at the river we go...Well being by the river it is indeed in a "Flood Zone" and we normally pull all things out by the end of Sept, but this year, My Husband used our camper to stay in...	Jozie	6	820	Jan 27, 2010 by Jozie
	Just Wanted to say Thanks (Preview) Hi. How you all doing? My wife Nancy and I were regular attendees here at MIP a few years back. We've been away for a while, involved in other aspects of recovery, but through a series of coincidences we have returned to Miracles in Progress. Since coming back, we have met many old friends and made some ne...	Wolfie	2	603	Jan 27, 2010 by kitty
	ESH (Preview) Hi,I am a little lost. Could someone please tell me what ESH means?Thanks,Alicia	ARSK	2	777	Jan 27, 2010 by ARSK
	Hurt (Preview) I have been feeling a little "unsafe" lately - allowing, my ex-bf to emotionally get close to me. Discussing the need not to be together - understanding the need to work on ourselves, but also struggling to let go of expectations. I offered to help him get some sidework through my company. I...	RunnerChick	7	823	Jan 27, 2010 by Karilynn
	Times newspaper article today (Preview) This article was in the Times newspaper today.....may be of interest to some. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/features/article7002002.eceAt long last in one part of the UK the effect on children of a parent drinking is being recognised..... and addressed........	Ness	5	1001	Jan 27, 2010 by Ness
	just having a laugh!!!! (Preview) AH went to the doctor's today... the doctor told him that he was quite mad. AH asked for a second opinion........ the doctor said. "ok...you are stupid as well"! AH asked me if i could cut his sandwich for him...sure says I...would you like it cut into two pieces or four? AH replied .....	miss lucy	3	731	Jan 27, 2010 by Suzi1965
	step one (Preview) Every day I learn more and more what step one is, and for the first time I feel more at peace about it. The biggest struggle for me is taking that with me wherever I go. I am so good at "covering up" everything, that even when I'm somewhere I can get help, I still wear that "everything is fine...	idontknow	4	681	Jan 27, 2010 by Jerry F
	Moving... grief (Preview) I wanted to let everybody know that I will be moving from my home where I have lived the last 3 years... I am absolutely devastated. A series of events have happened to where I have come to the conclusion that I cannot stay here. Burlington, VT is too expensive for me with my student loans now taking effe...	Not2bforgot10	3	790	Jan 26, 2010 by nmike
	Under the Influence. (Preview) No not a post...a title of a book that I don't remember mentioning to this fellowship. Under the Influence is one of the text we used in the college in went to and to study alcoholism and addictions. (Didn't trust the program to be complete with me...wrong!!) Any how it is a masterpiece by Dr. James R. Mil...	Jerry F	7	1051	Jan 26, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Wanted: Board/Room w/a 12-Stepper! (Preview) Hi, my name is Emily. I am 25 years old. I am part of the Alanon Miracles in Progress Community and am looking for a 12-stepper or otherwise HEALTHY individual/living space (physical) to stay with for 6-12 solid months beginning sometime in April or May. I am straight-edge and do not use substance of a...	Not2bforgot10	9	865	Jan 26, 2010 by Aloha
	detaching when they're sober (Preview) So I have kind of a weird problem. I am doing pretty good at detaching from my AH when he's drunk. I see a beer in his hand, and think "It's the disease talking!" and I'm A-OK. I can ignore the bad stuff and laugh at the fun stuff. But when he's sober, I find myself reacting and mirroring his mood an...	intothewoods	9	1209	Jan 26, 2010 by idontknow
	Jealous of the Addict in Rehab...Feedback Please... (Preview) First of all, let me say that I really loved reading the enabling posts. I have found myself stepping over boundaries a lot here lately both in my professional and personal life. I am a social worker and I keep putting myself- as they say with good intentions- into situations that perhaps I do not have...	Codependent	7	806	Jan 26, 2010 by RunnerChick
	I know that I am posting a lot but never had an A actually in Rehab- Sorry... (Preview) So, I'm not sure if I ever posted that the A is actually gonna be living in Florida after rehab. So that adds another dimension to our relationship. My therapist thinks I should completely cut off the relationship as he had pictures of his ex from 6 years ago out before he left for rehab and maybe he is on...	Codependent	3	632	Jan 26, 2010 by RunnerChick
	then and now (Preview) Six months ago I had a check stolen and to date I still have not had it replaced. I have no idea who took the check but have an idea it was someone with an active addiciton who took an opportunity and ran with it. Someday I may know I don't hold out for that information anymore. I do know its been months of ph...	maresie	5	663	Jan 26, 2010 by maresie
	Physical Illness by Changing? - any input welcome (Preview) I woke up this morning, and have an upset tummy and a bit of what usually comes with that. Also, my hands are a bit shaky - so I just don't feel 'right' physically. Might this be from trying to not react and change how I respond? I honestly don't know if I am getting sick or if my body is speaking to me in anoth...	Iamhere	8	853	Jan 26, 2010 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.