Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

bszab · bszab

Hello. I am new here, but not new to Al Anon. Aside from being an alcoholic, my Father is very, very ill. I honestly do not know how is body is even functioning. He looks so sick. Every day I wonder if I will get "the call". I even have a hard time talking to him on the phone. He is really out of contr...

Rebecca 31003 · Rebecca 31003

Greetings, You wil have to pardon me but I do not know all the acronyms for this forum as I am very new to understanding addiction and this forum. In fact this is my first outreach I guess you could say. My Husband is recovering from Achoholism and addiction to opiets. I am deeply in love with my husband...

Mattie · Mattie

The current issue of the New Yorker has an interesting article on alcohol by Malcolm Gladwell (author of The Tipping Point, etc.) He talks about evidence for what alcohol really does. People have considered it a drug that lowers your inhibitions, but some researchers think that what it really doe...

pineapple · pineapple

Ok, I know what I'm supposed to do in this situation and that's NOTHING. Mind my own business, keep my mouth shut, etc. But some days it's just so dang hard! That's why I'm posting here. I am so angry at my A. I'm so tired of doing almost everything around here by myself. Yes, some things can be let go if he d...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF is in recovery and we chat about the programme sometimes. He has started to identify how sick other people are in his family etc. It is lovely to watch him grow although I am keeping the focus on my recovery as I have so much work to do myself. Here is a good example. Before the A I was married for 1...

maire rua · maire rua

I certainly hate having to put up with the tantrums that A's have when someone says no to them, at the moment I am curing my new stove which means burning all the black wax and excess polish off, all doors and windows are open as this is a process. A wanted to use a wire brush on new stove, categorically told h...

Codependent · Codependent

What does ESH stand for?

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

I am married to a dry drunk who acts like a total jerk most of the time. Note to the alanon police, LOL, I didn't call him a jerk, I said he "ACTS" like a jerk most of the time, LOL. Anyway, LOL... I have adjusted, detached, and moved on emotionally for the most part, but at times his behavior is...

bszab · bszab

Yesterday for the first time in 17 years...I got the brunt of my A Father's anger. I know that I am not "exempt" from the anger. It's just that I haven't been one of his targets for a very long time. There were 12 years where we had no contact in between there. Anyways, I am really trying to set bou...

lindseymommyof2 · lindseymommyof2

How do you stay in a relationship with an alcoholic? My fiance is a functional alcoholic, has 4 DWI's, three were before we met which we have been together 4 years...he got the fourth when my youngest was 2 months old and my oldest was 17 months..we were out of town and he got wasted rolled his truck. He dri...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

All of the stresses are finally getting to me. The major one is financial. I don't even want to begin to think how we're going to handle all our financial problems when AH gets out of jail - the way it looks now, it's going to take YEARS to get back on track. Anyway, I find myself taking a lot of this out on m...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Hello family, I haven't posted in a while. Lots of things going on. A revelation of sorts has happened to me. I have spent alot of time in the last few months putting my focus on the ex. One thing I noticed is I go to fantasy land. Watching my thoughts I find while in this state, my thoughts are always on...

Bluelady · Bluelady

I get what everyone is saying about enabling and I don't want too do that. My question is, it is very cold out, she has no place too live, she has a job but the money is all gone. If I give her money to live how can that be wrong? How can I say well you are on your own. Her husband is gone and I know in my heart he is not...

Bluelady · Bluelady

Some time ago I came into this group because I had found out my daughter was drinking. Since then she went to treatment and I prayed her life would get on track. Last night I found she is drinking again and her husband has left her. I can't say I blame him and I believe nothing she says.The fact is though she i...

glad · glad

She caught me off gaurd. Our cell phones are missing or broken for about a week now. Due t the snow my ABF called his mother from the house phone to check in last night. Well first thing this morning she calls to ask if he went to work today and that her power is off. Well without thinking I gave her his work num...

Codependent · Codependent

Tonight I was watching this special on CNN. It just came on while I was on the treadmill at the gym. It was about how cheap and easy it is to get pain pills in Florida and how people can even track them to places like Kentucky and Tennessee for large profits. My mind instantly went to why the A wanted to go t...

Gypsy_Phisch · Gypsy_Phisch

So I posted here a while back about my dilemma with getting my brother out of my house. I had set a deadline of February 5th for him to be moved out. Being the good little sister that I try to be, February 5th came and went and I wouldn't put him out on his ear because he had not received his last paycheck from...

Rainie · Rainie

Hi, I am new to this site so I thought I would share a little about me. I was raised in an alcoholic home. Mum was quite functional, went to work during the week, got smashed on the weekends and that was the "norm". I married an alcoholic when I was 21, divorced him when I was 30. During the end of t...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((Family)))), Just wanted to give a GREAT BIG SHOUT OUT thank you to Canadian Guy. His offer of Toby Rice Drews' book was a wonderful help to a dear friend. I got her the book Getting Them Sober. She was a little intimated by Alanon. But after reading her book she understood what was going on wit...

Codependent · Codependent

It seems that many of us on this site try to be friends with our exes. Just questioning the wisdom of those choices and how that works out for everyone....?

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

My ex AH is stuck in Wilmington, NC with nowhere to go, can't get into any recovery houses he says. It's freezing cold and windy here today. He's at the library messaging me saying that he feels like he can't go on. I feel like an evil B!t@# because I won't drop what I'm doing and go help him out yet again....

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

Just wanted to pass it on!! Life can be SO good. Had a home decorating party last night with 10 women and it went great. Can't remember the last time I laughed that long and that hard. Today, I'm just smiling!

miss lucy · miss lucy

today has been a really bad one. emotionally. i have witnessed my AH removing any possessions he had left in his home that we shared and putting them in the Biffa bin not 20 feet from where i live. the temptation to run out and claim anything i wanted to keep was almost too much but i managed to close the c...

RLC · RLC

In the dictionary it states........ "Resentment" can result from a variety of situations involving a perceived wrong. The dictionary also defines "resentment" as a feeling of displeasure of indignation from a feeling of being wronged. From time to time that definition ...

Festfan · Festfan

Hi there MIP support group! I really need your ESH today... Its been 3 days since I broke up with the (ex) ABF. I miss him and am second guessing my decision. I have not contacted him since Friday and he has not contacted me. I want him to at least know that I am thinking of him - but that could have good or ba...

Codependent · Codependent

Found out today that the A left the rehab a couple of days ago. His mom was fuzzy on the details as to why, etc. I just got this strange text from him tonight that said "Got any advice for a new local?" I was picking up my child from his mom's after my church class and showed it to her. She said ma...

Jozie · Jozie

I First want to say THANK YOU to ALL that Responded to my "In Need Of Sunshine & ESH Please :O)" Post... I learned alot of wonderful things & I hope that i can use them to help me move thru this step... I have been at it for a while now, so have decided that till I can get a date with my Sponsor...

miss lucy · miss lucy

this post is aimed mainly at the girls amongst us (sorry boys - no disrespect intended) when i was in therapy i was asked to read Women who love too much by Robin Norwood. Some of you have commented on several of my posts that you wish you had my strength, my hope and my determination to make something out o...

cdngirl · cdngirl

I just got home from my meeting and found AH more drunk than he has been in months. When I walked in the door, he was at the bottom of the stairs, hauling a bag of stuff into the garage. I noticed something on the wall, so I went downstairs and looked at it. He had made a hole in the wall (which we just had pain...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well as most of you know this time of year is hard for me, and I'm working my program hard, but still struggling. Still trusting though that even though this waiting and being still is HARD, that is is what I am meant to be doing. Valentine's Day is approaching, and it makes me think of my first V day with EX...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So the ex AH just left about 3 weeks ago after staying with me almost 3 months. I said in the beginning "NEXT" in regard to the new /old girlfriend (knew from childhood and reunited on facebook) and him trying so desperately to find someone to rescue him and save him from himself. Soooo thi...

Ness · Ness

Disease is progressingIve heard today my Ason is up in court next week for trying to break into a chemist shop (looking for diazepam no doubt). He has also broken a bone in his foot trying to kick the door down in another shop (looking for drink) so that will be another court appearance. He is now never sob...

Jozie · Jozie

At Times I have these Ruts that never seem to give up or in... This last 5-7 days have been Super Trying, not so much on my Program... Just everyday (Out of My Control things)... 1st would be the Snow storm that brought close to 36" inches of snow & dropped it in our way...lol... I have shoveled, p...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

Why is it that I read all the insightful, inspiring messages here and feel strong and no longer alone and ready to tackle these problems and then get home and get sucked right into my Abf's constant, daily drama? He is a dry drunk that has pretty much broken any feeling I have for him and I've told him so. ...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Help me out on this please. All feedback is welcomed. I'm revisiting an old reaction (Don't react!! LOL my bestest slogan personally given by an early sponsor) to another person's innate practice of power and control. My stomach is flexing and not so that I can create a 6 pack abs condition. Its b...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

First I wanted to say Thank you to all the folks yesterday for the responses, emails to my post.....Another one bites the dust:) For anyone to tell me that I am helping ease their pain through a difficult times means so much to mean, it lets me give back and that is what I hope to do more of....eventually...

nmike · nmike

Which is worse? Leaving him and missing him. Or him leaving and missing him. He left me and our marriage five years ago. When I have clarity, I realize that he was gone "mentally" many times before he actually left. I fight my obsession of the mind. He's gone, moved on, we have little contact....

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Okay, friends ... today I need to take a look at my motives! I just had a conversation with my AH. During the conversation, I told him that I was worried he may be getting sick again. It seems like a good thing to be able to convey how I feel, and I am allowed to care. It's surely a fine line, though. W...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well to make a long story short........the guy I was dating and I broke up today. As I wrote this am I had been thinking about it for my reason, he had been for his. It didn't happen the way I had wanted it too, but it was a good thing. The sad part is I knew when I woke up this am that it had to happen, yet I knew h...

jasobel · jasobel

My ex A boyfriend is drinking again. Since he left we have become friends, chat, talk etc. He is binging weekend with his new girlfriend and its become a disaster. Sounds totally crazy. I am trying to distance myself from it but I can't hellp but worry, its been over 24 hours since I have heard from him. Th...

Jerry F · Jerry F

That means that since I found the doors of the Al-Anon Family Groups on this same day in 1979...for 31 years I've never missed a blessing. I am most of all grateful beyond my wildest expression and to stay that way I will keep coming back. That MIP has become a part of my program is also a blessing. My...

Rora · Rora

I've posted quite a bit about confusion. I've been completely loaded down with it. Infact, if my posts have a common theme, it is CONFUSION. I am trying to sort through all my feelings and intentions and hopes and needs and wants and try to come to some sort of permanent decision about my (possibly) dr...

miss lucy · miss lucy

hiya all...i have returned...my trip to my daughter's was just great and just what i needed. however, since being back i have sunk into a real low...lower than i have been for a long time. having decided that it is a no go with AH i should be feeling positive and looking forward. truth is i am not feeli...

Ness · Ness

Ive been to my first convention this weekend.....it was my home groups 35thIts 6am (UK )Im exhausted, Ive had a bad night of flashbacks.........see Overcomes PTSD post below.One of the speakers at the AA meeting was a girl of 30..........could have been my son sitting there.....same story, same ho...

Wolfie · Wolfie

I just realized that this is February and that means Valentine's day is coming. S I wanted to post something about love. I proposed to my wife in a parking lot. It wasn't very romantic. and I know you find that shocking because I'm a very romantic guy. So I tried to think of another way to do it that would be m...

angelbreeze127 · angelbreeze127

Briefly... my ah is a member of a church band. Needless to say lying and bs are common while he is among these folks. during a very stressful month about 6 mos ago, I e-mailed the church and fessed up to the real guy they were dealing with. They jumped on the bandwagon and were insisting I come in and they...

Overcome · Overcome

I've heard it said that if we stay in the alcoholic situation long enough, we become as sick as the alcoholic. I have found that to be true. What is disturbing to me is that I seem to be experiencing PTSD symptoms some 6 months after the divorce. Mind you this is not my first divorce from an alcoholic. I have...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

"If we could extract the "I" from our thoughts, some of us would lose our focus. We have a tendency to think only of our comfort, our convenience, our point of view, our feelings, and our happiness. What if we made a conscious effort every day to put someone else first? What would it cost...

Codependent · Codependent

Left me a message saying he was doing well. He sorta admonished me that he didn't like the fact that I only texted him and didn't ever answer my phone and perhaps that was why he had been out of touch. I did not call rehab about possible drug use. Don't know if he is/was using, but have decided to mind my ow...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

The past few days I have been struggling....Grateful but struggling somewhat.<BR><BR>For some reason EXABF has been in my thoughts over and over again and I have been praying to HP to please remove any thoughts or feelings I have left for him in my mind and heart.  It is hard to...

kitty · kitty

I posted about this a year ago or so but I have found it very interesting to ponder -- in our English language we use expressions like, 'you are giving me a head ache' , 'you are making me feel this or that' or 'you are making me crazy'. It is like we are victims by this language. Our personal power is given t...

maresie · maresie

when I was with the ex A I really jumped full throttle into his stories of what he was going to do. I would rage and rail and rage some more about what he didn't do and I would really put a lot into all the things he "promised'. Recently I have had the grace to have a co worker who is an alcoholic in my compa...

ElizabethP65 · ElizabethP65

I am new here and looking for those who can offer experience, strength and hope for dealing with an affair. My AH is 8 years sober. When we met, he was very active with meetings and sponsorship. Actually, one of the things which attracted me was the AA principles he was teaching me without my even kn...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I see your online. We need an OP in chat to boot someone who's been causing problems all week. Looks like he's got a new ip!

Festfan · Festfan

I'm catching up on reading this morning and have gotten through only a few topics when two things jumped out at me and almost SMACKED me they were so relevant... the fantasies in my head and the illusion of a fairy tale ending. I started to comment as a reply to someones post - but decided to go ALL OUT wit...

Suzi1965 · Suzi1965

Hi Everyone! In the chatroom the other day I mentioned I was looking for books/websites etc... to help me with the 12 steps, and a member mentioned a "Blue Print" book that helped with step 4. Another member mentioned a different book that covered questions for all the steps, but, I cant r...

Tracy · Tracy

MY ABF has accepted he is an alcoholic he has been in AA since May 2009 and had a slip in Nov went straight back to AA. He has moved into his mums and is fighting hard to beat this disease. He lost his job when he had the slip also. He says he needs to sort his life. He needs to get a job, get a driving licience p...

Suzi1965 · Suzi1965

I just tried to get in the chat room and it says I have been added to the channels Auto Kick Ban List?? I was there earlier with no problems. Will someone please tell me how to fix this please. I dont want to miss my meetings... Thanks guys!

Jay N · Jay N

I have a speech class and wanted to do one of my speeches on Al-Anon (I have been in the program 2+ years). I want to speak only on my personal experience and of course, not anything that anyone else has said in a meeting or anything like that, but I'm wondering if I may be crossing a line by speaking about it p...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Things are slightly improving on the home front. I am still going with the marriage option and I am reconciled with that decision. I can't see the future but I hope it improves the situation for everyone. Only time will tell. I have decided to start getting the focus back on me doing what I need to be d...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New here.... (Preview) Hello. I am new here, but not new to Al Anon. Aside from being an alcoholic, my Father is very, very ill. I honestly do not know how is body is even functioning. He looks so sick. Every day I wonder if I will get "the call". I even have a hard time talking to him on the phone. He is really out of contr...	bszab	9	786	Feb 14, 2010 by TwistedServant
	Trust (Preview) Greetings, You wil have to pardon me but I do not know all the acronyms for this forum as I am very new to understanding addiction and this forum. In fact this is my first outreach I guess you could say. My Husband is recovering from Achoholism and addiction to opiets. I am deeply in love with my husband...	Rebecca 31003	9	921	Feb 14, 2010 by TwistedServant
	New Yorker article on alcohol (Preview) The current issue of the New Yorker has an interesting article on alcohol by Malcolm Gladwell (author of The Tipping Point, etc.) He talks about evidence for what alcohol really does. People have considered it a drug that lowers your inhibitions, but some researchers think that what it really doe...	Mattie	2	887	Feb 14, 2010 by maresie
	Rant (Preview) Ok, I know what I'm supposed to do in this situation and that's NOTHING. Mind my own business, keep my mouth shut, etc. But some days it's just so dang hard! That's why I'm posting here. I am so angry at my A. I'm so tired of doing almost everything around here by myself. Yes, some things can be let go if he d...	pineapple	4	563	Feb 14, 2010 by TwistedServant
	hooks (Preview) My ABF is in recovery and we chat about the programme sometimes. He has started to identify how sick other people are in his family etc. It is lovely to watch him grow although I am keeping the focus on my recovery as I have so much work to do myself. Here is a good example. Before the A I was married for 1...	Tracy	3	1219	Feb 14, 2010 by Jerry F
	Irritability (Preview) I certainly hate having to put up with the tantrums that A's have when someone says no to them, at the moment I am curing my new stove which means burning all the black wax and excess polish off, all doors and windows are open as this is a process. A wanted to use a wire brush on new stove, categorically told h...	maire rua	4	927	Feb 14, 2010 by Andrea12
	ESH (Preview) What does ESH stand for?	Codependent	3	813	Feb 14, 2010 by TwistedServant
	A ME Day! (Preview) I am married to a dry drunk who acts like a total jerk most of the time. Note to the alanon police, LOL, I didn't call him a jerk, I said he "ACTS" like a jerk most of the time, LOL. Anyway, LOL... I have adjusted, detached, and moved on emotionally for the most part, but at times his behavior is...	MaryPoppins	7	529	Feb 13, 2010 by TwistedServant
	Where and how to draw the line (Preview) Yesterday for the first time in 17 years...I got the brunt of my A Father's anger. I know that I am not "exempt" from the anger. It's just that I haven't been one of his targets for a very long time. There were 12 years where we had no contact in between there. Anyways, I am really trying to set bou...	bszab	4	901	Feb 13, 2010 by TwistedServant
	falling out of love (Preview) How do you stay in a relationship with an alcoholic? My fiance is a functional alcoholic, has 4 DWI's, three were before we met which we have been together 4 years...he got the fourth when my youngest was 2 months old and my oldest was 17 months..we were out of town and he got wasted rolled his truck. He dri...	lindseymommyof2	6	1580	Feb 13, 2010 by lindseymommyof2
	Stress (Preview) All of the stresses are finally getting to me. The major one is financial. I don't even want to begin to think how we're going to handle all our financial problems when AH gets out of jail - the way it looks now, it's going to take YEARS to get back on track. Anyway, I find myself taking a lot of this out on m...	N8SMOM	7	513	Feb 13, 2010 by Iamhere
	A bit of an update (Preview) Hello family, I haven't posted in a while. Lots of things going on. A revelation of sorts has happened to me. I have spent alot of time in the last few months putting my focus on the ex. One thing I noticed is I go to fantasy land. Watching my thoughts I find while in this state, my thoughts are always on...	fishinmama	2	553	Feb 13, 2010 by tlcate
	What I don't understand (Preview) I get what everyone is saying about enabling and I don't want too do that. My question is, it is very cold out, she has no place too live, she has a job but the money is all gone. If I give her money to live how can that be wrong? How can I say well you are on your own. Her husband is gone and I know in my heart he is not...	Bluelady	12	1343	Feb 13, 2010 by Diva
	I just need too talk (Preview) Some time ago I came into this group because I had found out my daughter was drinking. Since then she went to treatment and I prayed her life would get on track. Last night I found she is drinking again and her husband has left her. I can't say I blame him and I believe nothing she says.The fact is though she i...	Bluelady	8	1271	Feb 12, 2010 by maresie
	Immediate help needed please (Preview) She caught me off gaurd. Our cell phones are missing or broken for about a week now. Due t the snow my ABF called his mother from the house phone to check in last night. Well first thing this morning she calls to ask if he went to work today and that her power is off. Well without thinking I gave her his work num...	glad	7	954	Feb 12, 2010 by maresie
	Momentary Weakness (Preview) Tonight I was watching this special on CNN. It just came on while I was on the treadmill at the gym. It was about how cheap and easy it is to get pain pills in Florida and how people can even track them to places like Kentucky and Tennessee for large profits. My mind instantly went to why the A wanted to go t...	Codependent	6	1548	Feb 12, 2010 by Charlie
	Reality is sometimes quite nauseating (Preview) So I posted here a while back about my dilemma with getting my brother out of my house. I had set a deadline of February 5th for him to be moved out. Being the good little sister that I try to be, February 5th came and went and I wouldn't put him out on his ear because he had not received his last paycheck from...	Gypsy_Phisch	5	699	Feb 12, 2010 by Charlie
	How Do You Know? (Preview) Hi, I am new to this site so I thought I would share a little about me. I was raised in an alcoholic home. Mum was quite functional, went to work during the week, got smashed on the weekends and that was the "norm". I married an alcoholic when I was 21, divorced him when I was 30. During the end of t...	Rainie	6	688	Feb 12, 2010 by Festfan
	Thank you Canadian Guy! (Preview) ((((((Family)))), Just wanted to give a GREAT BIG SHOUT OUT thank you to Canadian Guy. His offer of Toby Rice Drews' book was a wonderful help to a dear friend. I got her the book Getting Them Sober. She was a little intimated by Alanon. But after reading her book she understood what was going on wit...	Karilynn	3	872	Feb 11, 2010 by Christy
	Friends (Preview) It seems that many of us on this site try to be friends with our exes. Just questioning the wisdom of those choices and how that works out for everyone....?	Codependent	4	812	Feb 11, 2010 by lizzakiss
	Moral Support (Preview) My ex AH is stuck in Wilmington, NC with nowhere to go, can't get into any recovery houses he says. It's freezing cold and windy here today. He's at the library messaging me saying that he feels like he can't go on. I feel like an evil B!t@# because I won't drop what I'm doing and go help him out yet again....	carolinagirl	8	859	Feb 11, 2010 by maire rua
	I feel good today (Preview) Just wanted to pass it on!! Life can be SO good. Had a home decorating party last night with 10 women and it went great. Can't remember the last time I laughed that long and that hard. Today, I'm just smiling!	Sweet Stanley	4	564	Feb 11, 2010 by Wolfie
	Reality has kicked home today (Preview) today has been a really bad one. emotionally. i have witnessed my AH removing any possessions he had left in his home that we shared and putting them in the Biffa bin not 20 feet from where i live. the temptation to run out and claim anything i wanted to keep was almost too much but i managed to close the c...	miss lucy	7	845	Feb 11, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	Resentments !!! (Preview) In the dictionary it states........ "Resentment" can result from a variety of situations involving a perceived wrong. The dictionary also defines "resentment" as a feeling of displeasure of indignation from a feeling of being wronged. From time to time that definition ...	RLC	6	1740	Feb 11, 2010 by kitty
	Breaking Up is Hard to do... (Preview) Hi there MIP support group! I really need your ESH today... Its been 3 days since I broke up with the (ex) ABF. I miss him and am second guessing my decision. I have not contacted him since Friday and he has not contacted me. I want him to at least know that I am thinking of him - but that could have good or ba...	Festfan	6	1034	Feb 11, 2010 by Festfan
	He left rehab.. (Preview) Found out today that the A left the rehab a couple of days ago. His mom was fuzzy on the details as to why, etc. I just got this strange text from him tonight that said "Got any advice for a new local?" I was picking up my child from his mom's after my church class and showed it to her. She said ma...	Codependent	6	785	Feb 10, 2010 by Iamhere
	Grateful.... (Preview) I First want to say THANK YOU to ALL that Responded to my "In Need Of Sunshine & ESH Please :O)" Post... I learned alot of wonderful things & I hope that i can use them to help me move thru this step... I have been at it for a while now, so have decided that till I can get a date with my Sponsor...	Jozie	3	537	Feb 10, 2010 by hotrod
	Girls please read this book (Preview) this post is aimed mainly at the girls amongst us (sorry boys - no disrespect intended) when i was in therapy i was asked to read Women who love too much by Robin Norwood. Some of you have commented on several of my posts that you wish you had my strength, my hope and my determination to make something out o...	miss lucy	7	927	Feb 10, 2010 by glad lee
	How to deal with this? (Preview) I just got home from my meeting and found AH more drunk than he has been in months. When I walked in the door, he was at the bottom of the stairs, hauling a bag of stuff into the garage. I noticed something on the wall, so I went downstairs and looked at it. He had made a hole in the wall (which we just had pain...	cdngirl	5	1204	Feb 10, 2010 by canadianguy
	Reflecting on Valentine's Day-I hate it! (Preview) Well as most of you know this time of year is hard for me, and I'm working my program hard, but still struggling. Still trusting though that even though this waiting and being still is HARD, that is is what I am meant to be doing. Valentine's Day is approaching, and it makes me think of my first V day with EX...	shellyj123	2	800	Feb 10, 2010 by kitty
	The AH is coming back (LONG) (Preview) So the ex AH just left about 3 weeks ago after staying with me almost 3 months. I said in the beginning "NEXT" in regard to the new /old girlfriend (knew from childhood and reunited on facebook) and him trying so desperately to find someone to rescue him and save him from himself. Soooo thi...	carolinagirl	5	569	Feb 10, 2010 by carolinagirl
	and so the disease progresses (Preview) Disease is progressingIve heard today my Ason is up in court next week for trying to break into a chemist shop (looking for diazepam no doubt). He has also broken a bone in his foot trying to kick the door down in another shop (looking for drink) so that will be another court appearance. He is now never sob...	Ness	4	885	Feb 10, 2010 by Ness
	In Need Of Sunshine & ESH Please :O) (Preview) At Times I have these Ruts that never seem to give up or in... This last 5-7 days have been Super Trying, not so much on my Program... Just everyday (Out of My Control things)... 1st would be the Snow storm that brought close to 36" inches of snow & dropped it in our way...lol... I have shoveled, p...	Jozie	7	825	Feb 10, 2010 by Christy
	Why? (Preview) Why is it that I read all the insightful, inspiring messages here and feel strong and no longer alone and ready to tackle these problems and then get home and get sucked right into my Abf's constant, daily drama? He is a dry drunk that has pretty much broken any feeling I have for him and I've told him so. ...	lizzakiss	4	778	Feb 10, 2010 by Jerry F
	Power and Control... (Preview) Help me out on this please. All feedback is welcomed. I'm revisiting an old reaction (Don't react!! LOL my bestest slogan personally given by an early sponsor) to another person's innate practice of power and control. My stomach is flexing and not so that I can create a 6 pack abs condition. Its b...	Jerry F	15	1090	Feb 10, 2010 by Jerry F
	Still grieving the past, and just when I thought I was done (Preview) First I wanted to say Thank you to all the folks yesterday for the responses, emails to my post.....Another one bites the dust:) For anyone to tell me that I am helping ease their pain through a difficult times means so much to mean, it lets me give back and that is what I hope to do more of....eventually...	shellyj123	2	822	Feb 9, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Which is worse? (Preview) Which is worse? Leaving him and missing him. Or him leaving and missing him. He left me and our marriage five years ago. When I have clarity, I realize that he was gone "mentally" many times before he actually left. I fight my obsession of the mind. He's gone, moved on, we have little contact....	nmike	13	930	Feb 9, 2010 by Andrea12
	Watchin' My Motives! (Preview) Okay, friends ... today I need to take a look at my motives! I just had a conversation with my AH. During the conversation, I told him that I was worried he may be getting sick again. It seems like a good thing to be able to convey how I feel, and I am allowed to care. It's surely a fine line, though. W...	White Rabbit	5	1206	Feb 9, 2010 by speck31
	Another one bites the dust! (Preview) Well to make a long story short........the guy I was dating and I broke up today. As I wrote this am I had been thinking about it for my reason, he had been for his. It didn't happen the way I had wanted it too, but it was a good thing. The sad part is I knew when I woke up this am that it had to happen, yet I knew h...	shellyj123	5	834	Feb 9, 2010 by Festfan
	Letting go of worry when loved ones drink (Preview) My ex A boyfriend is drinking again. Since he left we have become friends, chat, talk etc. He is binging weekend with his new girlfriend and its become a disaster. Sounds totally crazy. I am trying to distance myself from it but I can't hellp but worry, its been over 24 hours since I have heard from him. Th...	jasobel	7	820	Feb 9, 2010 by Festfan
	This is Feburary and today is the 8th (Preview) That means that since I found the doors of the Al-Anon Family Groups on this same day in 1979...for 31 years I've never missed a blessing. I am most of all grateful beyond my wildest expression and to stay that way I will keep coming back. That MIP has become a part of my program is also a blessing. My...	Jerry F	16	1074	Feb 9, 2010 by RLC
	Confusion (Preview) I've posted quite a bit about confusion. I've been completely loaded down with it. Infact, if my posts have a common theme, it is CONFUSION. I am trying to sort through all my feelings and intentions and hopes and needs and wants and try to come to some sort of permanent decision about my (possibly) dr...	Rora	1	459	Feb 9, 2010 by White Rabbit
	i feel like i am in mourning...is it normal? (Preview) hiya all...i have returned...my trip to my daughter's was just great and just what i needed. however, since being back i have sunk into a real low...lower than i have been for a long time. having decided that it is a no go with AH i should be feeling positive and looking forward. truth is i am not feeli...	miss lucy	10	857	Feb 8, 2010 by Maria123
	First convention..........mixed feelings (Preview) Ive been to my first convention this weekend.....it was my home groups 35thIts 6am (UK )Im exhausted, Ive had a bad night of flashbacks.........see Overcomes PTSD post below.One of the speakers at the AA meeting was a girl of 30..........could have been my son sitting there.....same story, same ho...	Ness	8	577	Feb 8, 2010 by Maria123
	Hope (Preview) I just realized that this is February and that means Valentine's day is coming. S I wanted to post something about love. I proposed to my wife in a parking lot. It wasn't very romantic. and I know you find that shocking because I'm a very romantic guy. So I tried to think of another way to do it that would be m...	Wolfie	6	753	Feb 8, 2010 by Christy
	What do I do? (Preview) Briefly... my ah is a member of a church band. Needless to say lying and bs are common while he is among these folks. during a very stressful month about 6 mos ago, I e-mailed the church and fessed up to the real guy they were dealing with. They jumped on the bandwagon and were insisting I come in and they...	angelbreeze127	4	903	Feb 8, 2010 by abbyal
	Secondary Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (Preview) I've heard it said that if we stay in the alcoholic situation long enough, we become as sick as the alcoholic. I have found that to be true. What is disturbing to me is that I seem to be experiencing PTSD symptoms some 6 months after the divorce. Mind you this is not my first divorce from an alcoholic. I have...	Overcome	6	1719	Feb 8, 2010 by Iamhere
	A little confusion (Preview) "If we could extract the "I" from our thoughts, some of us would lose our focus. We have a tendency to think only of our comfort, our convenience, our point of view, our feelings, and our happiness. What if we made a conscious effort every day to put someone else first? What would it cost...	carolinagirl	4	780	Feb 8, 2010 by Iamhere
	The A called this Morning (Preview) Left me a message saying he was doing well. He sorta admonished me that he didn't like the fact that I only texted him and didn't ever answer my phone and perhaps that was why he had been out of touch. I did not call rehab about possible drug use. Don't know if he is/was using, but have decided to mind my ow...	Codependent	5	827	Feb 8, 2010 by jasobel
	Just trying to be still.....Expectations v/s Desires..........ESH needed (Preview) The past few days I have been struggling....Grateful but struggling somewhat.<BR><BR>For some reason EXABF has been in my thoughts over and over again and I have been praying to HP to please remove any thoughts or feelings I have left for him in my mind and heart.  It is hard to...	shellyj123	2	705	Feb 8, 2010 by maresie
	You're making ME sick (Preview) I posted about this a year ago or so but I have found it very interesting to ponder -- in our English language we use expressions like, 'you are giving me a head ache' , 'you are making me feel this or that' or 'you are making me crazy'. It is like we are victims by this language. Our personal power is given t...	kitty	8	1174	Feb 8, 2010 by carolinagirl
	Drunkathons (Preview) when I was with the ex A I really jumped full throttle into his stories of what he was going to do. I would rage and rail and rage some more about what he didn't do and I would really put a lot into all the things he "promised'. Recently I have had the grace to have a co worker who is an alcoholic in my compa...	maresie	6	802	Feb 8, 2010 by serching-sandy
	Dry Drunk Infidelity (Preview) I am new here and looking for those who can offer experience, strength and hope for dealing with an affair. My AH is 8 years sober. When we met, he was very active with meetings and sponsorship. Actually, one of the things which attracted me was the AA principles he was teaching me without my even kn...	ElizabethP65	2	1631	Feb 8, 2010 by Jerry F
	BLENGER GIRL!! (Preview) I see your online. We need an OP in chat to boot someone who's been causing problems all week. Looks like he's got a new ip!	Melissa21	2	504	Feb 7, 2010 by blender_girl
	Fantasies and Fairy Tale Endings (Preview) I'm catching up on reading this morning and have gotten through only a few topics when two things jumped out at me and almost SMACKED me they were so relevant... the fantasies in my head and the illusion of a fairy tale ending. I started to comment as a reply to someones post - but decided to go ALL OUT wit...	Festfan	4	840	Feb 7, 2010 by Iamhere
	Looking for Al-Anon Lit. and need help (Preview) Hi Everyone! In the chatroom the other day I mentioned I was looking for books/websites etc... to help me with the 12 steps, and a member mentioned a "Blue Print" book that helped with step 4. Another member mentioned a different book that covered questions for all the steps, but, I cant r...	Suzi1965	7	1279	Feb 7, 2010 by Festfan
	lonely (Preview) MY ABF has accepted he is an alcoholic he has been in AA since May 2009 and had a slip in Nov went straight back to AA. He has moved into his mums and is fighting hard to beat this disease. He lost his job when he had the slip also. He says he needs to sort his life. He needs to get a job, get a driving licience p...	Tracy	4	786	Feb 7, 2010 by kitty
	Help Ive been banned from the chatroom and dont know how to fix it... (Preview) I just tried to get in the chat room and it says I have been added to the channels Auto Kick Ban List?? I was there earlier with no problems. Will someone please tell me how to fix this please. I dont want to miss my meetings... Thanks guys!	Suzi1965	4	584	Feb 7, 2010 by Suzi1965
	Appreciate your help with a 12 Traditions Question... (Preview) I have a speech class and wanted to do one of my speeches on Al-Anon (I have been in the program 2+ years). I want to speak only on my personal experience and of course, not anything that anyone else has said in a meeting or anything like that, but I'm wondering if I may be crossing a line by speaking about it p...	Jay N	5	1009	Feb 7, 2010 by abbyal
	Update on my situation (Preview) Things are slightly improving on the home front. I am still going with the marriage option and I am reconciled with that decision. I can't see the future but I hope it improves the situation for everyone. Only time will tell. I have decided to start getting the focus back on me doing what I need to be d...	carolinagirl	5	711	Feb 7, 2010 by mac57
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.