Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi MIP Family, I wanted to share my gratitude for a feeling of inner peace that has grown from the tiniest seed that was planted when I first found alanon. As I look back, I can see there were times the seed of inner peace just sat within me, not sprouting, but still possible as I learned how to put one foot...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Not sure why. I sent a note a week ago to whomever was listed on the site but never heard back. Anyone have any idea why or what I can do?

Garden of Mirrors · Garden of Mirrors

Some people cannot leave. I do not mean they are unable to do so. I mean, literally, that they have no options and cannot leave the situation. Please do not argue away this assertion because I know from my own life that there are gaps in our societal safety nets. Circumstantially I am currently unable to...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Still not buying the higher power stuff in the sense that I felt abandoned by him (her, it, whatever) a while ago. I do remember a meeting or a reading passage where someone said that they got that step in pieces....they came......(at first that was all), then they "came to" (as in woke up et...

kitty · kitty

I've learned that for me to keep what I want, to keep the understanding I gain in recovery, I must be constarntly consciously practising it. If I want love, understanding, forgiveness, loving detachment, faith ~ al of these things are things I must be actively practising to keep. I cant just do it on...

Gailey · Gailey

got back to my f2f meeting last night. It is like everything else...once you stop doing something it is hard to get back to it. I was fighting with myself. I didn't want to go. I wanted an easier, softer way. I wanted to go to bed , sleep and forget about life for awhile. I know I said about 3 times that I wasn'...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I'm amazed how low I can feel sometimes. Because I really think long and hard about things, I often come up with negative arguments (against myself, my life etc.) that they are hard to contradict, therefore making me depressed. But I find that with some reminders from here, I can also think of equally...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Not trying to be dramatic here....I was in therapy in my 30's and worked through a lot of stuff, and was so grateful that I had feeling I've got the the rest of my life to apply what I'd learned and be happier. Well here I am at 50, back in therapy, feeling back at square 1, and feeling like it's too late to make...

Jozie · Jozie

As Most know I have been fighting some off the wall addictions that I have noticed here of late, Another would be my Addiction to "Needing" others With Me... Sounds Crazy I know, but for me, about the only time I am TRULY alone, is when I go to the Market, or to the Local department store, & s...

DareToDream · DareToDream

My AH B was sober for 10 yrs before I met him. He started drinking heavily shortly after we met. I was very new at this and just wanted to run away as I felt like I did not have enough vested. We became more serious in betwen bouts of drinking and he got a DUI and stopped while on probation so he spent 30 days in ja...

kath · kath

I married a man that I knew had a history of drug use (pot). Before we were married I asked him if he did that anymore and he said no. NaievlyI thought he was like me, was a partier in the early days, but settled down after having kids. Not true. I realized after my daughters and I moved in with him that he is a ch...

tlcate · tlcate

Well, this is clear as mud I think . . . but here goes. Ok, this is going to seem small and strange, but it was big for me. I am talking to my daughter, she is telling me things about her friends and going to the fair etc. She is chatting away, I am interested and comment in return. Then her story is over. I con...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

This one might be long, but I'm mainly venting for myself........ I have begun to accept (for the past couple of days) that I am not a multi-tasker. I have strong ADD and have not been on my meds for quite some time (caused conflict with my mom in law trying to control that) as I do not have health insuran...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Still feel a little bothered that "God" (I do believe in "a" God....just not sure what he's going to do for me, or how, if anything) hasn't been much help to me at many times in my life. So I dont' have this faith in a power greater than myself that can restore my to sanity. But some co...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

I must admit I watch this show Kourtney and Kloe take Miami. Guilty pleasure Does anyone here shames my shameful secret and watches this show? Last episode this guy Scott got drunk or something, threw a fit and ended up in the hospital. I've been there, done that and even have the freaking tshirt!! Tha...

hope for the flowers · hope for the flowers

Well I just went to my first meeting. Wow! Wonderful people! I feel so much better then fighting this alone for 10 months. I think if I work on myself the situation with my boyfrined who i love very much should inprove. Just a question does this also work with players/cheeters? I understand the alcholic...

xd · xd

Hello. I've tried a few live AlAnon meetings, but haven't found the right group, I guess. My wife is an A, has battled it on and off for years, with a 3-year dry stretch. In the past, the drinking was almost always just in the evenings, and there would be stretches of weeks where she wouldn't drink. It's be...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

Ok people. I need some your ES&H today. I am so down today. I believe that my AH is drinking (of course he denies it). But I have this instinct about it and my gut tells me that he is drinking. So... when he got back from his fourth rehab, I set rules that we needed to live by, in order to stay on track w...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

These are from meetings I've gone to over the years...they are not the official slogans, but are reminiscent (probably based on them): 1. Don't just do something, stand there. 2. Wherever you go, there YOU are. 3. Instead of worrying that it will take 5 years, imagine 5 years from now if you don't do...

tlcate · tlcate

I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but our guests are usually low in number, not awful but not what they have been. Since the Dr. Phil episode our number of guests has exploded. To the point I initially thought it was a glitch. Perhaps it is, but I hope not. I like big families!!! We are glad you are...

Junko · Junko

Hi, I am a newcomer of Al-Anon (although I've been to seven meetings) and it has been hard.. First two weeks, I struggled with the idea of God, Higher Power and being powerless over alcohol. The third week, I accepted that there is Higher Power and felt great. The fourth week has been a confusion week and...

Maxsmom · Maxsmom

I've never posted anything so personal online before but I am desperate and have nowhere else to turn. I've been dating this man for about 9 months and before we started dating I had heard he had an issue with drinking. 2 DUI's, relationship issues, etc. By the time we started dating, he assured me that...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

I feel like going into my room closing the door and not come out. I am trying so hard to hold it together since I put my AS out of my deceased mother's home for using it for a hang out for his drug use, and letting people come in the house that have no respect for the property or for him or for anyone for that mat...

buick23 · buick23

Got blamed for something I have no control over again. I reminded myself I don't have that much power and I knew hp was right there with me. I didn't handle it perfect, but pretty good. When will the tests be over with and I can get a final grade? lol buick

BrokenBunny · BrokenBunny

I am so sorry, this is long .... I have to vent. Sitting here at 4:30 in the morning, as I couldn't sleep. Cried all night and trying to so hard to keep my focus. I look at my children and I feel so hurt and so sorry of what I am putting them through. They seem to be a bigger force than me from the outside, as th...

Adabnu · Adabnu

Those may remember me, I was crying aloud here a month ago about my misery of breaking up with my alcoholic fiancée. Here is some positive sharing for those who are in the middle of the crisis or dealing with the lost right now. He is/was a wonderful guy when he is sober or when he does not drink excessively...

Maxsmom · Maxsmom

I have only been a member since yesterday. I am so grateful to all of you who helped me with my dilemma. (alcoholic boyfriend) I was feeling so badly today that while at work, I kept this website minimized so I could look when I felt like i needed to. Thank you thank you thank you! I have found a place where I b...

sunnydaze · sunnydaze

New here. I want to say "I'm done." Over and done with the A's in my family. Does anybody ever just want to leave their AH/W?? Why not??? Why do we have to be the ones who bend over backward to stay sane when they make us crazy! The DUI's, the wrecked finances resulting in bankruptcy (and I'...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

For the sake of honesty and because it's on my mind alot, I feel I should open up and spill my guts on this. I began therapy about two years ago...sex therapy to be exact to address some issues my wife complained about (and although she was part of the problem, I admit were true). I called a male therapist r...

Jerry F · Jerry F

In the three seconds between what triggers me and how I respond to it. I got this echo at the morning meeting I attended. It was as if the speaker was reading my recovery journal because I heard his voice in tandem with my elder sponsor's voices. What an amazing gift because it remains the truth for me t...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

This came up in therapy not to long ago.....my therapist remarked that I worry too much about what others think of me, I assume that they do or will think negatively of me, and that I tend to judge myself or my efforts based on this....i think she's right of course.... But I cant' help but compare my life to...

Jozie · Jozie

Hi All... Here recenty I have been Covering some pretty big miles stones in my life, things have been happening so fast that at times I seem to forget the important stuff, and this week has been a HUGE Reminder of that... Yesterday My One & Only Child turned 13 and the thought of him growing up and leav...

Karilynn · Karilynn

In loving memory of my mother: June 19, 1932- August 1, 1982. Hard to believe you've been gone this long. I was only 19. But those 19 years were the best. If I can be 1/10 as good as you were, I'm doing okay. Give my love to Dad & Tim. "Your heart was made of holidays. Your smile was made of dawn....

renee · renee

My son who is 25 has had issues with alcohol since late high school. He doesn't seem to know when to stop and keeps getting into trouble. The last incident was an accident where he fell on concrete and had to have 6 hours of reconstructive surgery on his face. He is back living with me now and has to pay me...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

That phrase was a Freudian slip, that my therapist swears I uttered one day (I didn't remember saying it but have no reason to doubt her....even if she were to be wrong...it's a true statement). That is what I do....I focus on the negative stuff and don't give myself a chance to be happy......I even had...

buick23 · buick23

I'm keeping up with my meetings this time around and have been so much better with my thinking and attitude since. One thing I have noticed at the meetings nowdays. I catch myself smiling alot and can laugh about things. When I attended meetings years ago I was so serious and unhappy and I didn't underst...

Maize · Maize

I would like to recant this post. I understand what you are all saying. Thanks -- Edited by Maize on Tuesday 3rd of August 2010 08:12:39 AM -- Edited by Maize on Tuesday 3rd of August 2010 05:59:26 PM

oscarmom · oscarmom

a great lady and a great accomplishment. gotta love someone who has 10 kids, 15 grandkids and stayed sober and sane! she's aptly named Joy as for my husband, sober over 100 days now. hope it stays that way, every now and then my apprehension creeps in...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

My marriage is at a point where I'm actually grateful on the days there isn't a crisis and it proceeds normally. Of course normal in my marriage is zero affection form wife, zero help from wife and , zero common courtesy from the wife. The only saving grace is my daughter is wonderful and I love my litt...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Well, my AH whom I recently separated from (three weeks ago) asked me for money last week. He's got a stable career, has not provided any child support for the last two weeks (as I'm letting him fix the financialy situation before we get back together).....I did give him back two hundered dollars to cat...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Considering the idea that I wouldn't be any more happy or satisfied if I met my goals and dreams. Maybe they wouldn't be good enough once I had them. That's definately something I could believe about myself. I do need to appreciate what's around me and what I do have and can do now.

hopeforme · hopeforme

Hi Friends,First, I want to say that I am usually a "lurker". Sometimes, when I am in sick thinking, I come to the boards and read your posts, and it really helps to know that there are so many people out here experiencing similar things. So- thank you! I came to Al Anon 8 months ago, after brea...

fishinmama · fishinmama

This is a show that I don't watch. Some how it ended up on that channel on Friday and it caught my eye. I pretty much had the TV on for background noise and lo and behold. As I mentioned in a previous post the show was about addiction with children and the parents were coming to Dr Phil for help. He sent the...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Well I have not mentioned this because I have been here before with my ex husband, but this time it feels different. My son is an alcoholic/addict. He has struggled for some time. He got two duii's in a month spent time in jail and I think I mentioned here he got the book thrown at him. The Judge had a dau...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

THE MEMORIAL SERVICE WENT WELL...MY PHONE RANG DURING THE END--I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD BUT MY HUSBAND FELT HE NEEDED TO CALL! I WAS MAD AT HIM FOR QUITE A WHILE BECAUSE I WAS EMBARASSED & SOME OF IT WAS ON TV! HE WAS AN AFRICAN AMERICAN THAT RECEIVED THE MEDAL OF HONOR FROM THE ARMY IN WWII PLUS OTHER DI...

kablisnow · kablisnow

as i stated in my other post, hes been home two weeks and is already drinking and lyeing on a regular basis. They say in al anon that we dont have to accept unacceptable behavior, Im pretty much at that point. My husband has left me without a vehicle due to wrecking two in a matter of days. He is driving arou...

glad · glad

Does anyone have any special experience with a very difficulity situation, where perhaps the A "down plays" it or says it didn't happen the way you feel it did or says you have "issues" instead of just admitting his part and saying he's sorry? I truely want to forgive but seem to &...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

This seems to be a lifelong problem for me....I always feel that at best I've got one foot in the present and the other foot in some future desire, fantasy, or outcome. In other words lately I spend my days dreaming of being married to someone else, moving to a town I really like(probably couldn't affor...

Maize · Maize

I woke up feeling great. I saw a truck on my way into work that's business logo on the side read "Boundaries" (it was a landscaping truck). I know my HP was telling me to watch my boundaries today and so my ex husband is giving me a hard time. My name is on the mortgage of our condo and he is telli...

movinforward · movinforward

Hello all, I have been in a long term relationship with my partner who is a ACOA. I just reintroduced myself to ACOA literature and was very relieved to read about my ACApartner and her Afamily. We are getting ready to adopt our 2yo son and are really struggling within our relationship due to issues invo...

shadow1 · shadow1

I am very tired and have had a very emotional day so, I hope this post makes sense...... I was having a really down day and thought I would do something nice for someone to try and pick myself up a bit. I had told my soon to be ex A that I had some Grad photos of our son for him. So today was the day I decided to drop...

Desirae · Desirae

I am an adult child of an alcoholic. I am also married to an alcoholic. We have a 7 year old girl. It is difficult to put this kind of situation into simple terms but I will try: My husband is a very happy drunk... until my daughter goes to bed. He is not physically or verbally abusive at all. He just goes to wor...

bgrasp · bgrasp

Hi everyone- I am 28 and recently threw my 30 year old boyfriend (now ex) out on Wednesday because I no longer could handle his actions. He is an alcoholic (sorry for the obvious) and he simply cannot function without it. He began laying out of work and going to his buddy's house to drink rather than worki...

renee26 · renee26

Iv been with my ah for a very long time and he was sober for 10 years. He started drinking again 6 mnths ago. I left after 9 years of dealing with his crap the first time then he quit and because I love him, I came back, thinking he would never drink again. What in the hell was I thinking. We have two teenage kid...

Maize · Maize

I am working on learning to meditate. I can do it when I am in therapy, no problem, my therapist can take me down into a trance state and that is great. I am working on being able to do it on my own. I found a CD that has meditations on it that work on panic attacks (something I suffer with). So I am working on...

LIGHTBULB · LIGHTBULB

My husband is a dry drunk - he used to be such a happy man - now he went thru depression which I didnt know was a sympthom of alcoholism - learning so much here - but I feel he just blames so much on me - gets so angry at me when I questioned it and told me to leave him alone that he is sick of me - Oh boy so much fun here L...

maresie · maresie

Somedays I can manage to get through all the next right things I need to do in order to move my life to another level. I'm discovering the issue isn't the next right thing (which I can of course attend to) the issue is that I really don't want to do that. I want someone else to take responsibility for my lif...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

AH has been off of prescription clonazepam and Effexor for over a month. I have written before to describe his paranoid behaviours. Much of the time, things go reasonably well (although he still doesn't help out around the house even though he is on sick leave). However, I can usually count on somethi...

susie56543 · susie56543

I'm a newbie to the program, I just started going to meetings 3 weeks ago. My boyfriend was in a treatment center this past winter/spring and "planted the seed" that it may be good for me. I'm not exactly sure how to begin here so I'll just jump in..He and I got engaged in February and I found out...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

((((((((((((Dear Friends)))))))))), Today is 3 years since the death of my soul mate my dear husband Chuck. Tomorrow he would have been 53. I find as the time goes by I don't look so much on the bad anymore and I can see how and why I loved this man so very much. The anger had control of me for a very long time...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Inner peace (Preview) Hi MIP Family, I wanted to share my gratitude for a feeling of inner peace that has grown from the tiniest seed that was planted when I first found alanon. As I look back, I can see there were times the seed of inner peace just sat within me, not sprouting, but still possible as I learned how to put one foot...	Rocky38	8	816	Aug 6, 2010 by tlcate
	I Can`t Access Meetings (Preview) Not sure why. I sent a note a week ago to whomever was listed on the site but never heard back. Anyone have any idea why or what I can do?	Samsgram	5	763	Aug 6, 2010 by Samsgram
	support for those who cannot leave (Preview) Some people cannot leave. I do not mean they are unable to do so. I mean, literally, that they have no options and cannot leave the situation. Please do not argue away this assertion because I know from my own life that there are gaps in our societal safety nets. Circumstantially I am currently unable to...	Garden of Mirrors	15	1212	Aug 6, 2010 by Aloha
	Maybe this is a start................................ (Preview) Still not buying the higher power stuff in the sense that I felt abandoned by him (her, it, whatever) a while ago. I do remember a meeting or a reading passage where someone said that they got that step in pieces....they came......(at first that was all), then they "came to" (as in woke up et...	mjhyankees	4	677	Aug 6, 2010 by flinn66
	the way to keep it (Preview) I've learned that for me to keep what I want, to keep the understanding I gain in recovery, I must be constarntly consciously practising it. If I want love, understanding, forgiveness, loving detachment, faith ~ al of these things are things I must be actively practising to keep. I cant just do it on...	kitty	8	731	Aug 6, 2010 by maresie
	FINALLY!!!!!!! (Preview) got back to my f2f meeting last night. It is like everything else...once you stop doing something it is hard to get back to it. I was fighting with myself. I didn't want to go. I wanted an easier, softer way. I wanted to go to bed , sleep and forget about life for awhile. I know I said about 3 times that I wasn'...	Gailey	2	675	Aug 6, 2010 by Rocky38
	Mood is gradually getting better.... (Preview) I'm amazed how low I can feel sometimes. Because I really think long and hard about things, I often come up with negative arguments (against myself, my life etc.) that they are hard to contradict, therefore making me depressed. But I find that with some reminders from here, I can also think of equally...	mjhyankees	2	453	Aug 6, 2010 by mjhyankees
	I'm down that my work on myself is too little to late... (Preview) Not trying to be dramatic here....I was in therapy in my 30's and worked through a lot of stuff, and was so grateful that I had feeling I've got the the rest of my life to apply what I'd learned and be happier. Well here I am at 50, back in therapy, feeling back at square 1, and feeling like it's too late to make...	mjhyankees	13	827	Aug 6, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Feeling the Fear... (Preview) As Most know I have been fighting some off the wall addictions that I have noticed here of late, Another would be my Addiction to "Needing" others With Me... Sounds Crazy I know, but for me, about the only time I am TRULY alone, is when I go to the Market, or to the Local department store, & s...	Jozie	4	1217	Aug 6, 2010 by Gailey
	Confused (Preview) My AH B was sober for 10 yrs before I met him. He started drinking heavily shortly after we met. I was very new at this and just wanted to run away as I felt like I did not have enough vested. We became more serious in betwen bouts of drinking and he got a DUI and stopped while on probation so he spent 30 days in ja...	DareToDream	11	865	Aug 6, 2010 by DareToDream
	husband wont stop smoking pot kath (Preview) I married a man that I knew had a history of drug use (pot). Before we were married I asked him if he did that anymore and he said no. NaievlyI thought he was like me, was a partier in the early days, but settled down after having kids. Not true. I realized after my daughters and I moved in with him that he is a ch...	kath	8	3340	Aug 6, 2010 by lyndebi
	Light Bulb Moment (Preview) Well, this is clear as mud I think . . . but here goes. Ok, this is going to seem small and strange, but it was big for me. I am talking to my daughter, she is telling me things about her friends and going to the fair etc. She is chatting away, I am interested and comment in return. Then her story is over. I con...	tlcate	4	507	Aug 6, 2010 by Loupiness
	focus (Preview) This one might be long, but I'm mainly venting for myself........ I have begun to accept (for the past couple of days) that I am not a multi-tasker. I have strong ADD and have not been on my meds for quite some time (caused conflict with my mom in law trying to control that) as I do not have health insuran...	RoseODAT	2	487	Aug 5, 2010 by Rocky38
	Trying to work with this higher power stuff...... (Preview) Still feel a little bothered that "God" (I do believe in "a" God....just not sure what he's going to do for me, or how, if anything) hasn't been much help to me at many times in my life. So I dont' have this faith in a power greater than myself that can restore my to sanity. But some co...	mjhyankees	3	683	Aug 5, 2010 by Rocky38
	A silly reality show (Preview) I must admit I watch this show Kourtney and Kloe take Miami. Guilty pleasure Does anyone here shames my shameful secret and watches this show? Last episode this guy Scott got drunk or something, threw a fit and ended up in the hospital. I've been there, done that and even have the freaking tshirt!! Tha...	Priscilla83	3	685	Aug 5, 2010 by Jennifer
	new to al-anon (Preview) Well I just went to my first meeting. Wow! Wonderful people! I feel so much better then fighting this alone for 10 months. I think if I work on myself the situation with my boyfrined who i love very much should inprove. Just a question does this also work with players/cheeters? I understand the alcholic...	hope for the flowers	10	813	Aug 5, 2010 by bud
	Trapped, guess I just need to vent (Preview) Hello. I've tried a few live AlAnon meetings, but haven't found the right group, I guess. My wife is an A, has battled it on and off for years, with a 3-year dry stretch. In the past, the drinking was almost always just in the evenings, and there would be stretches of weeks where she wouldn't drink. It's be...	xd	8	926	Aug 5, 2010 by xd
	Really down today (Preview) Ok people. I need some your ES&H today. I am so down today. I believe that my AH is drinking (of course he denies it). But I have this instinct about it and my gut tells me that he is drinking. So... when he got back from his fourth rehab, I set rules that we needed to live by, in order to stay on track w...	Sweet Stanley	9	818	Aug 5, 2010 by doloresbscrap
	Some memorable statements from alanon..... (Preview) These are from meetings I've gone to over the years...they are not the official slogans, but are reminiscent (probably based on them): 1. Don't just do something, stand there. 2. Wherever you go, there YOU are. 3. Instead of worrying that it will take 5 years, imagine 5 years from now if you don't do...	mjhyankees	2	740	Aug 5, 2010 by hotrod
	Guests . . . we are glad you are here. (Preview) I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but our guests are usually low in number, not awful but not what they have been. Since the Dr. Phil episode our number of guests has exploded. To the point I initially thought it was a glitch. Perhaps it is, but I hope not. I like big families!!! We are glad you are...	tlcate	2	559	Aug 5, 2010 by mjhyankees
	After 7 meetings, I am still not sure whether Al-Anon is for me or not. (Preview) Hi, I am a newcomer of Al-Anon (although I've been to seven meetings) and it has been hard.. First two weeks, I struggled with the idea of God, Higher Power and being powerless over alcohol. The third week, I accepted that there is Higher Power and felt great. The fourth week has been a confusion week and...	Junko	13	1315	Aug 5, 2010 by Junko
	I'm new here and really desperate (Preview) I've never posted anything so personal online before but I am desperate and have nowhere else to turn. I've been dating this man for about 9 months and before we started dating I had heard he had an issue with drinking. 2 DUI's, relationship issues, etc. By the time we started dating, he assured me that...	Maxsmom	28	1285	Aug 5, 2010 by juliev
	Trying To Hold It Together..... (Preview) I feel like going into my room closing the door and not come out. I am trying so hard to hold it together since I put my AS out of my deceased mother's home for using it for a hang out for his drug use, and letting people come in the house that have no respect for the property or for him or for anyone for that mat...	DreamsOver	9	923	Aug 4, 2010 by tlcate
	powerless (Preview) Got blamed for something I have no control over again. I reminded myself I don't have that much power and I knew hp was right there with me. I didn't handle it perfect, but pretty good. When will the tests be over with and I can get a final grade? lol buick	buick23	6	958	Aug 4, 2010 by buick23
	What is wrong with me.... (Preview) I am so sorry, this is long .... I have to vent. Sitting here at 4:30 in the morning, as I couldn't sleep. Cried all night and trying to so hard to keep my focus. I look at my children and I feel so hurt and so sorry of what I am putting them through. They seem to be a bigger force than me from the outside, as th...	BrokenBunny	10	1806	Aug 4, 2010 by BrokenBunny
	Positive sharing (Preview) Those may remember me, I was crying aloud here a month ago about my misery of breaking up with my alcoholic fiancée. Here is some positive sharing for those who are in the middle of the crisis or dealing with the lost right now. He is/was a wonderful guy when he is sober or when he does not drink excessively...	Adabnu	1	795	Aug 4, 2010 by hotrod
	I love this board (Preview) I have only been a member since yesterday. I am so grateful to all of you who helped me with my dilemma. (alcoholic boyfriend) I was feeling so badly today that while at work, I kept this website minimized so I could look when I felt like i needed to. Thank you thank you thank you! I have found a place where I b...	Maxsmom	3	744	Aug 4, 2010 by Jennifer
	Surrounded by Alcoholics Everywhere I go... (Preview) New here. I want to say "I'm done." Over and done with the A's in my family. Does anybody ever just want to leave their AH/W?? Why not??? Why do we have to be the ones who bend over backward to stay sane when they make us crazy! The DUI's, the wrecked finances resulting in bankruptcy (and I'...	sunnydaze	9	1639	Aug 4, 2010 by sunnydaze
	Transference issues with my therapist..... (Preview) For the sake of honesty and because it's on my mind alot, I feel I should open up and spill my guts on this. I began therapy about two years ago...sex therapy to be exact to address some issues my wife complained about (and although she was part of the problem, I admit were true). I called a male therapist r...	mjhyankees	3	1726	Aug 4, 2010 by Mattie
	God Exists... (Preview) In the three seconds between what triggers me and how I respond to it. I got this echo at the morning meeting I attended. It was as if the speaker was reading my recovery journal because I heard his voice in tandem with my elder sponsor's voices. What an amazing gift because it remains the truth for me t...	Jerry F	9	833	Aug 4, 2010 by tlcate
	I give people too much power over me.... (Preview) This came up in therapy not to long ago.....my therapist remarked that I worry too much about what others think of me, I assume that they do or will think negatively of me, and that I tend to judge myself or my efforts based on this....i think she's right of course.... But I cant' help but compare my life to...	mjhyankees	4	1891	Aug 4, 2010 by tlcate
	Tryin to get on Track.... (Preview) Hi All... Here recenty I have been Covering some pretty big miles stones in my life, things have been happening so fast that at times I seem to forget the important stuff, and this week has been a HUGE Reminder of that... Yesterday My One & Only Child turned 13 and the thought of him growing up and leav...	Jozie	6	1141	Aug 4, 2010 by Andrea12
	In loving memory of my Mom (Preview) In loving memory of my mother: June 19, 1932- August 1, 1982. Hard to believe you've been gone this long. I was only 19. But those 19 years were the best. If I can be 1/10 as good as you were, I'm doing okay. Give my love to Dad & Tim. "Your heart was made of holidays. Your smile was made of dawn....	Karilynn	9	889	Aug 4, 2010 by Andrea12
	What is a Mom to do? (Preview) My son who is 25 has had issues with alcohol since late high school. He doesn't seem to know when to stop and keeps getting into trouble. The last incident was an accident where he fell on concrete and had to have 6 hours of reconstructive surgery on his face. He is back living with me now and has to pay me...	renee	4	1061	Aug 4, 2010 by Mobirdie
	Distracting myself from happiness...... (Preview) That phrase was a Freudian slip, that my therapist swears I uttered one day (I didn't remember saying it but have no reason to doubt her....even if she were to be wrong...it's a true statement). That is what I do....I focus on the negative stuff and don't give myself a chance to be happy......I even had...	mjhyankees	8	910	Aug 4, 2010 by kitty
	improvements (Preview) I'm keeping up with my meetings this time around and have been so much better with my thinking and attitude since. One thing I have noticed at the meetings nowdays. I catch myself smiling alot and can laugh about things. When I attended meetings years ago I was so serious and unhappy and I didn't underst...	buick23	6	778	Aug 4, 2010 by buick23
	Questions about Alanon face to face meeting last night (Preview) I would like to recant this post. I understand what you are all saying. Thanks -- Edited by Maize on Tuesday 3rd of August 2010 08:12:39 AM -- Edited by Maize on Tuesday 3rd of August 2010 05:59:26 PM	Maize	15	1558	Aug 3, 2010 by abbyal
	mother in law sober 43 years today! (Preview) a great lady and a great accomplishment. gotta love someone who has 10 kids, 15 grandkids and stayed sober and sane! she's aptly named Joy as for my husband, sober over 100 days now. hope it stays that way, every now and then my apprehension creeps in...	oscarmom	4	803	Aug 3, 2010 by Jerry F
	Trying to hang in there.... (Preview) My marriage is at a point where I'm actually grateful on the days there isn't a crisis and it proceeds normally. Of course normal in my marriage is zero affection form wife, zero help from wife and , zero common courtesy from the wife. The only saving grace is my daughter is wonderful and I love my litt...	mjhyankees	8	810	Aug 3, 2010 by flinn66
	Keeping my mouth shut? (Preview) Well, my AH whom I recently separated from (three weeks ago) asked me for money last week. He's got a stable career, has not provided any child support for the last two weeks (as I'm letting him fix the financialy situation before we get back together).....I did give him back two hundered dollars to cat...	RoseODAT	4	846	Aug 3, 2010 by RoseODAT
	maybe the problem is my thinking..... (Preview) Considering the idea that I wouldn't be any more happy or satisfied if I met my goals and dreams. Maybe they wouldn't be good enough once I had them. That's definately something I could believe about myself. I do need to appreciate what's around me and what I do have and can do now.	mjhyankees	11	1155	Aug 3, 2010 by tlcate
	Missing My ex (Preview) Hi Friends,First, I want to say that I am usually a "lurker". Sometimes, when I am in sick thinking, I come to the boards and read your posts, and it really helps to know that there are so many people out here experiencing similar things. So- thank you! I came to Al Anon 8 months ago, after brea...	hopeforme	8	947	Aug 3, 2010 by Mattie
	Did you happen to see Dr. Phil? (Preview) This is a show that I don't watch. Some how it ended up on that channel on Friday and it caught my eye. I pretty much had the TV on for background noise and lo and behold. As I mentioned in a previous post the show was about addiction with children and the parents were coming to Dr Phil for help. He sent the...	fishinmama	5	1188	Aug 2, 2010 by ythannah
	Watching myself (Preview) Well I have not mentioned this because I have been here before with my ex husband, but this time it feels different. My son is an alcoholic/addict. He has struggled for some time. He got two duii's in a month spent time in jail and I think I mentioned here he got the book thrown at him. The Judge had a dau...	fishinmama	6	832	Aug 2, 2010 by Rocky38
	update... (Preview) THE MEMORIAL SERVICE WENT WELL...MY PHONE RANG DURING THE END--I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD BUT MY HUSBAND FELT HE NEEDED TO CALL! I WAS MAD AT HIM FOR QUITE A WHILE BECAUSE I WAS EMBARASSED & SOME OF IT WAS ON TV! HE WAS AN AFRICAN AMERICAN THAT RECEIVED THE MEDAL OF HONOR FROM THE ARMY IN WWII PLUS OTHER DI...	Hoot Nanny	2	658	Aug 2, 2010 by Rocky38
	here we go again (Preview) as i stated in my other post, hes been home two weeks and is already drinking and lyeing on a regular basis. They say in al anon that we dont have to accept unacceptable behavior, Im pretty much at that point. My husband has left me without a vehicle due to wrecking two in a matter of days. He is driving arou...	kablisnow	5	703	Aug 2, 2010 by tlcate
	To forgive is devine (Preview) Does anyone have any special experience with a very difficulity situation, where perhaps the A "down plays" it or says it didn't happen the way you feel it did or says you have "issues" instead of just admitting his part and saying he's sorry? I truely want to forgive but seem to &...	glad	9	613	Aug 2, 2010 by tlcate
	need help living in the present (Preview) This seems to be a lifelong problem for me....I always feel that at best I've got one foot in the present and the other foot in some future desire, fantasy, or outcome. In other words lately I spend my days dreaming of being married to someone else, moving to a town I really like(probably couldn't affor...	mjhyankees	5	1003	Aug 2, 2010 by tlcate
	hard day (Preview) I woke up feeling great. I saw a truck on my way into work that's business logo on the side read "Boundaries" (it was a landscaping truck). I know my HP was telling me to watch my boundaries today and so my ex husband is giving me a hard time. My name is on the mortgage of our condo and he is telli...	Maize	4	675	Aug 2, 2010 by Maize
	My first post (Preview) Hello all, I have been in a long term relationship with my partner who is a ACOA. I just reintroduced myself to ACOA literature and was very relieved to read about my ACApartner and her Afamily. We are getting ready to adopt our 2yo son and are really struggling within our relationship due to issues invo...	movinforward	4	714	Aug 2, 2010 by movinforward
	I hate this disease!! (Preview) I am very tired and have had a very emotional day so, I hope this post makes sense...... I was having a really down day and thought I would do something nice for someone to try and pick myself up a bit. I had told my soon to be ex A that I had some Grad photos of our son for him. So today was the day I decided to drop...	shadow1	12	866	Aug 2, 2010 by All I can be
	How do I explain alcoholism to a 7 year old? Al-anon ACOA (Preview) I am an adult child of an alcoholic. I am also married to an alcoholic. We have a 7 year old girl. It is difficult to put this kind of situation into simple terms but I will try: My husband is a very happy drunk... until my daughter goes to bed. He is not physically or verbally abusive at all. He just goes to wor...	Desirae	8	11095	Aug 2, 2010 by Rose
	New here and need help (Preview) Hi everyone- I am 28 and recently threw my 30 year old boyfriend (now ex) out on Wednesday because I no longer could handle his actions. He is an alcoholic (sorry for the obvious) and he simply cannot function without it. He began laying out of work and going to his buddy's house to drink rather than worki...	bgrasp	5	725	Aug 2, 2010 by xeno59
	Someone please tell me how to do this.. (Preview) Iv been with my ah for a very long time and he was sober for 10 years. He started drinking again 6 mnths ago. I left after 9 years of dealing with his crap the first time then he quit and because I love him, I came back, thinking he would never drink again. What in the hell was I thinking. We have two teenage kid...	renee26	7	1140	Aug 2, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	Changing the things I can... (Preview) I am working on learning to meditate. I can do it when I am in therapy, no problem, my therapist can take me down into a trance state and that is great. I am working on being able to do it on my own. I found a CD that has meditations on it that work on panic attacks (something I suffer with). So I am working on...	Maize	6	767	Aug 2, 2010 by maire rua
	DRY DRUNK!!!! HELP (Preview) My husband is a dry drunk - he used to be such a happy man - now he went thru depression which I didnt know was a sympthom of alcoholism - learning so much here - but I feel he just blames so much on me - gets so angry at me when I questioned it and told me to leave him alone that he is sick of me - Oh boy so much fun here L...	LIGHTBULB	9	1963	Aug 1, 2010 by LIGHTBULB
	the next right thing (Preview) Somedays I can manage to get through all the next right things I need to do in order to move my life to another level. I'm discovering the issue isn't the next right thing (which I can of course attend to) the issue is that I really don't want to do that. I want someone else to take responsibility for my lif...	maresie	7	1257	Aug 1, 2010 by Maize
	Should I do what he asks? (Preview) AH has been off of prescription clonazepam and Effexor for over a month. I have written before to describe his paranoid behaviours. Much of the time, things go reasonably well (although he still doesn't help out around the house even though he is on sick leave). However, I can usually count on somethi...	looking_for_peace	11	858	Aug 1, 2010 by maresie
	Fear, Loneliness and Confusion... (Preview) I'm a newbie to the program, I just started going to meetings 3 weeks ago. My boyfriend was in a treatment center this past winter/spring and "planted the seed" that it may be good for me. I'm not exactly sure how to begin here so I'll just jump in..He and I got engaged in February and I found out...	susie56543	7	903	Jul 31, 2010 by susie56543
	3 Years Today Since I lost my Husband and Children lost thier Father (Preview) ((((((((((((Dear Friends)))))))))), Today is 3 years since the death of my soul mate my dear husband Chuck. Tomorrow he would have been 53. I find as the time goes by I don't look so much on the bad anymore and I can see how and why I loved this man so very much. The anger had control of me for a very long time...	Andrea12	11	1066	Jul 31, 2010 by RLC
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.