Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jerry F · Jerry F

Sometimes I think that this stuff is no big deal until I compare it to the past before recovery. The milestone is that tomorrow is our (current wife and I) 16th wedding anniversary. Put all of our past marriages together and our time together and the length of our marriage out lasts them all. What the...

applecake · applecake

He broke down. After 2 1/2 days of cold, painful, silent hostility, he finally said to me last night that "he wasn't mad at me anymore." This opened up a door to a looooong talk. He admitted to me that he'd spent the last two days building up a huge argument/attack in his mind against me, but...

Slugcat · Slugcat

Not sure where I belong as far as meetings go but I know I got to learn to detach. I am killing myself with fear and worry about other people and addictions (as well as everything else I am obsessing about). Do you have any good things about how a newcomer to this idea would learn about detachment? Someone...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

My children are 7 and 9. I have always avoided telling them the truth about their dad. It was easy to hide it, lie about it, etc. b/c they were young and I was always around them. Unfortunately, they are witnessing more arguments between us b/c of the drinking...specifically the fact they are not allowe...

suzip · suzip

Days gone by I had prayed for peace in my life, prayed to be able to handle all that was handed to me, prayed my kids would turn out ok with the alcoholism that runs in our family. How I love my just for today bookmark, keeping me on track to not worry about everyone else, taking every day as it comes. Today, af...

Slugcat · Slugcat

wrote a big long rant and i cant post it sorry -- Edited by Slugcat on Sunday 22nd of August 2010 07:49:14 PM

LynninCalif · LynninCalif

I am 4th from the oldest of 9 children. 7 of them are alcoholics and or drug addicted! I finally decided I need to talk to others in the same boat. I have been dealing with this for over 30 years! My mom is 76 and calls me all the time worried or crying over my brothers especially! I just want it to stop. I tried...

freeagain · freeagain

I was raised to be an alcoholic. My mother is a classic enabler. So, she raised me to be a drunk. And I tried really hard to BE an A. I drank, I manipulated, I lied, I cheated, I stole, I was entitled, I used drugs, I disrespected myself and everyone else, I was in trouble with the law, I normalized my behavior...

Slugcat · Slugcat

person i am worried about it, that particular person is not an alki so i dont know if i can post here again about him. hes on the otherside of the planet to me.like 36 hour journey, 26 hours in flights. ive not seen him in 3 years. i feel desperate to go see him. somehow if i go there i can drag him to a meeting or...

applecake · applecake

So, I messed up. I blew up at him. After a full 24 hours of the silent treatment, I asked him what he was so upset about. He said that "what [I'm] doing is really sh***y." (What I'M doing??? So many possible responses to this, none of them constructive...) I asked him what he thought I was d...

tidalwave · tidalwave

My son is gone ,he is consumed by something i cannot control and it is ripping my heart out.The pain is so excruciating i can hardly breath.Since he was 15 i have been on a rollacoaster ride to now he is 21.Where did my son go he was such a lovely child.The hopelessness i feel at not being able to save him is ki...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

My husband, with few exceptions, relapses on a Saturday. I work all day; he does not. He has alot of free time on his hands. Would it be supportive or controlling to change the days I work or take off some weekends or is this just not taking care of myself and taking care of him? Thank you. I always know I...

renee26 · renee26

My ah finally stopped drinking. For now. It took our 13 yr old daughter finally stepping in and telling him he was ruining himself, and his family. And Im grateful he stopped. Im trying to be ok and happy and act like everything is ok cuz I dnt want him to start again. For my kids sake and for his own, but its n...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Last week I let my 7-year-old daughter stay at our trailer alone with my AH. They stayed 3 nights. On the 3rd night I couldn't shake the feeling that he was drinking, so I drove out. I was correct. His eyes were bloodshot, his speech was slightly slurred. She happened to have a dental appt. the next day, so...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

I need some advise here. I (and my AH) attended a birthday party on Saturday for our now 3 year old granddaughter. We were there for about 3 1/2 hours, for the picnic, opening of gifts, and for the cake. Then the booze started coming out and knowing how uncomfortable I get with "that", we went h...

Lem · Lem

I've been in Al-Anon quite a long time, but slipped today by not going to a meeting but doing another activity instead. I was so depleted and negative at work after this, that I know that I effected other people and I was miserable. I could really use some support. I'll plan to go to a meeting late...

Katy · Katy

Ok then my husband and I descussed what boundaries we needed to set with our son, and the consequences, they are very basic, deadlines for coming home, letting us know where he is and who he is with, and making his probation attendence top priority, followed by better selfcare washing and getting prop...

Ri · Ri

Ok, has been a week since I talked with my parents about getting back together with my sober ABF. The reception was better that I could have imagined. No screaming, yelling and crying. My mother is having a harder time with it, as she is super attached to my daughter, which I can totally understand. Of c...

kath · kath

Wish I would not compare myself to others. There was a lady this evening talking about how her daughter had two kids, was working full time, and going to school. Well I immediately related it to my life thinking that my choice to work part time and go to school part time and raise my three children (single...

sg · sg

My apologies if I shouldn't put this link up here, but I did purchase a book using the links provided on MIP and received this book yesterday..."Struggle for Intimacy" (dedicated to adult children of alcoholics) written by Janet Geringer Woititz. I sat down to read it and I couldn't put it down. V...

blender_girl · blender_girl

DENIAL Don't Even kNow I Am Lying Thought it was quite profound and decided to share with y'all.

luv123 · luv123

If u need support, in addition tothis and chat room outreach--please remember to go on the phone bridge meetings. It is a VA number and at the end there are often ppl who leave their number for sponsor calls. (not every meeting, but at least half). At 712-432-8733 pin is 52639. These phone bridge-con...

browneyes · browneyes

Hi , I'm broweyes I used to come here a lot. Thank you John for inviting me back. This past year has been filled with trouble and heartache. I started having panic attacks right before my husband was to get out of jail once again. I have been on all kinds of medication and it seems to have been working. But I q...

lmw · lmw

When my ex-AH was drinking in the spring, I told him if he slipped again, he'd have to be sober for a month before he could see the kids again. I'd discussed it with all three kids' counselors, and we all felt it was appropriate. We moved out to get away from the day-to-day insanity of alcoholism; I don't...

shnook · shnook

My husband has been drinking for many years. Two years ago I told him he needed to get it under control within the next year. He continued to drink excessively until about month 10. At that time I asked him if he had any plans of reigning it in, he didn't even know when the year started. So.....he qui...

glad · glad

I can't seem to get heart around how to (from my deepest truest self) forgive someone who deflects and dismisses attempts to resolve an issue with him. I've been trying to "let go and let God" .... Uhhhh,, not happening after 5 years.. so is acceptance and "blind" forgiv...

Maize · Maize

I don't know what happened, my bf came back from rehab this past weekend and was doing well all week, going to AA every day and even went two times one day. He is living with his parents, who started Alanon but are not really working the program at all. They were supposed to give him his check book back an...

applecake · applecake

I told my husband that I had a meeting to go to. I'd decided that if he asked me what meeting it was, I would tell him. I'm pretty involved in some social things/organizations, and "going to a meeting" is pretty common for me. So he didn't ask before I left. I'm glad, because it was really ha...

DareToDream · DareToDream

My AH boyfriend left with one suitcase 3 weeks ago. took one week before he called and then called everyday but I did not answer. Finally, last week, I decided I needed to talk to him to see what was going on. He said he left because he felt like a burden after the disagreement we had. he was staying between a...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello again, It's been way too long since I've posted, though I've read often. For those of you who remember me, things have gotten better here, and for those of you who don't remember me, well, I'm really not any different than you. Two years ago, when I became a member, I was so scared, so unsure, so UN...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Like I said on Monday, now it is Thurs., you can be a blessing to anyone. I feel like just today I made a few peoples' days just by a smile & a positive comment. I think I will start using affirmations as well. I really need a pick-me-up now & then, Today is one of them(just because). For the last year...

Ness · Ness

Dear Friends I apologise in advance for this vent, but I've just had it. As if there wasnt enough crap raining down on my family Im now reeling in shock, my cousin who I love like a brother, (we were brought up together) has been diagnosed today with a lump in his lung. CT scan tomorrow followed by a biopsy....

jitsuka · jitsuka

Had enough with the A partner. Come home and she's been in the sole care of 3 year old daughter (although she does go to day nursery). Parter is so obviously under the influence she's reeling. Oh here we go again, another joyful evening I think. I just can't be bothered and just ignore her. She tries to goa...

Allee · Allee

My husband has had over 20 years sobrierity due to alcohol. However, within the past few years he has become addicted to pain medication. He was prescribed the medication due to two failed back surgeries. The doctor basically gave him carte blanche with the quantity and frequency he would prescr...

never going back · never going back

Well, I attended my eighth, and most likley my last, F2F meeting last night. As I've said before, it is the ONLY meeting held in my area. If I get desperate, there is meeting about an hour away. I attended this one once and it was great. I know if Iget introuble, I canalways go to this meeting and I will feel...

applecake · applecake

Hi. I found this board this morning. I will be going to my first "real" alanon meeting tonight. I just can't take it anymore. The few friends who know about my situation sympathize, but have no idea what to say to me...I feel very alone when it comes to this. A little brief history: DH &am...

membee · membee

I have depression and am also a spouse of an of alcoholic. My DH has been sober 5 months now and I am more depressed, confused, and worried than before even though he has made some very healthy changes in his life. Anyone else have this experience? I find it hard to focus on myself ... Have to admit I do mor...

Gailey · Gailey

This reading hit me like a ton of bricks. I LOVED SOMEONE THAT COULDN'T BE TRUSTED...it made me very sad but it forces me to look at the reality that is my life. My son is sick and I cannot believe most things that he tells me. I cannot trust him ever to do what he says he is going to do I think the emotional part...

miss_carol · miss_carol

I am so tired. The last few days have been a real reminder of the sickness in my AH and myself. I am emotionally hung over. Yuck. I did recognize my part in it right away, well it was a little to late because the ball was rolling. The question was "Are you at the bar?" Silly me, I know better. It bec...

Aloha · Aloha

I've been feeling sort of "blaaaah" lately. I might attribute some of it to normal cyclical changes in hormone levels, but certainly just not feeling totally chipper and enthusiastic towards life in general. When living with my AH there was always HIM. Something wasn't going right it wa...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I do not want to have to do this. I do not want to have to get a restraining order, I do not want to have to deal with the state and get no contact a part of a parole agreement, I do not want to have to deal with my xah's 'ism's anymore. I chose divorce, I chose no further contact ... and if I respect that I can't make...

Bettina · Bettina

Its been two months and a few days since the XAH almost met his maker. The Doctors worked so hard at saving his life , it took two days to stabilize him. A ruptured esophagus and multiple ulcers. Only 10 % survive a ruptured esophagus. Survive he did. After the surgery, I drove him home from the hospital....

fairee · fairee

ive been in recovery for long enough that my son was born when i was 5years sober..the program carried me through many difficulties...got more into alanon after my husband left us and I got together with old bf from past (ran into him at AA dance) after we got hooked up found him to be chronic relapse guy a...

mrphunny · mrphunny

Hello. I'm still new to Al-Anon (just over a month) and I know it may be too soon to be asking such a question, but how do I go about finding a sponsor? At meetings, they don't seem to ask who is willing to be a sponsor, as I've seen in open AA meetings. And I don't know the proper way to approach someone or what t...

rainbojo66 · rainbojo66

Good day my recovering family, since coming here, about 2 weeks ago, I have experienced so much. I am so much less HOPELESS about things. But, I am STUCK. I don't feel ANYTHING. I don't feel sad...or happy. Joy...or pain. Nothing. Nada. I feel passionless about my life. After seeing my sister and her a...

buick23 · buick23

Was getting ready to go to my f2f meeting. Bf asked "Why are you going to those f*****ing meetings anyway?" Thanks to alanon I answered "Because I choose to." Yes, I had other answers in my head that were sarcastic but I didn't go that way. That question was still bothering me at my...

chauri · chauri

Hi all, It's been a while since I posted. last weekend our daughter had an incident. blah blah etc., She is an alcoholic, has medical problems. so we stepped in to helpher. She realizes her problem an is WILLING to get help. I love her and am greatful for that. Now it's up to her and her HP. My problem?/ I al...

snodebb · snodebb

This is my first time posting. I don't know how much longer I can take the ups and downs of this roller coaster I've been on for the last 15 yrs. Just when I think things are looking up and I get comfortable again I get slapped in the face. Somebody respond I know I am not the only one with this problem. I thin...

hopeful1ca · hopeful1ca

I'm new to Al-Anon. My partner started the program a month ago as she grew up in an alcoholic home. The last six months have been very trying and twice she threatened to leave, wanting to end her life. I reached out to her sister who lives across the country and her sister recommended Al-Anon. On a daily b...

Mary Glen Scot · Mary Glen Scot

The Al-Anon program teaches me, I am responsible for: How I feel, and what I need and want, and my happiness. I do this with the help of a Power Greater than myself. I respectfully call PG for short. I've been taught "In order to keep what I have-I have to give it away." So I'd like to share m...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Well got that call, and guess what I did....nothing....nothing...nothing. My son got pulled over and arrested for a DUI....It just so happened that his cousin was driving by and they released his car to her and took him to the er to draw bloood, God I am wondering what else he is doing. M...

maresie · maresie

These past weeks I have been working with a people pleaser at my job. I was a inveterate people pleaser most of my life. I had to be in al anon for a few years to get a grip on it. I did have all the books, the knowledge and more but I did not have the tools and self awareness to stop. I had some misconstrued id...

so lost · so lost

i am new here and so lost. I don't know what to say or what can help. It was suggested to me to go to al anon meetings and since there were none in my area I came online to see what it was about. Where do I start? What do I need to know?

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Some may know my story: AH recently off long-term use of clonazepam. He has mostly good days, but bad days are pretty bad with a lot of paranoia, etc. I am trying to make our marriage work, telling myself that things will get better with time (??). Because of his bad experience with being on prescription...

Katy · Katy

I often thought to myself, I wish I knew then what I know now, I might of been able to get better quicker, and so with all my experience dealing with my a husband and my now sadly deseased, a brother, and having alanon big in my life, I realise I have been in denial about our 19 year old son, I think I can unders...

Jozie · Jozie

I was Sitting here today, and really became bothered by something, something that was meant and handed to me out of Kindness "I think", yet when i sit down, and get into it, things within it have just hit a nerve... Like someones sitting on my chest... Now i know that what I do, is only by "...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((Family))), Just wanted to let you know that I am taking a break from the board for a few weeks. I am trying to resolve some issues regarding my sister. My thinking seems to be all screwed up or at the very least addled. I need to clear my head & refocus so that I can be of better service to you all. D...

ajt62 · ajt62

My daughter, now 27 went through rehab a few years ago. Met a guy who would put up with NOTHING and she was clean and sober for years. Broke up with him late last year, wound up hanging out with people she shouldn't, although stayed clean. Those people got into some major trouble, forcing her to have to...

Diva · Diva

Doc gave me 30 Xanax tablets. I told him I would not take the things, but he gave them to me anyway, explaining that I could try one when I become so very upset about A's drunk binges. Knowing I wouldn't touch them, I nevertheless stuffed them in my purse and went home. Put the container complete with 30...

LIONESS · LIONESS

this last dry period has been the third time in our 25 year marriage, this being the longest time without active alcohol use. But now he's buying NA beer and I know the next step will be "I can handle it now" when he buys the real stuff. BTDT. I told him this last time that he quit that I would no...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A milestone and a miracle... (Preview) Sometimes I think that this stuff is no big deal until I compare it to the past before recovery. The milestone is that tomorrow is our (current wife and I) 16th wedding anniversary. Put all of our past marriages together and our time together and the length of our marriage out lasts them all. What the...	Jerry F	19	1134	Aug 23, 2010 by Jozie
	miracle #1 (Preview) He broke down. After 2 1/2 days of cold, painful, silent hostility, he finally said to me last night that "he wasn't mad at me anymore." This opened up a door to a looooong talk. He admitted to me that he'd spent the last two days building up a huge argument/attack in his mind against me, but...	applecake	7	802	Aug 23, 2010 by All I can be
	How do you do detachment? (Preview) Not sure where I belong as far as meetings go but I know I got to learn to detach. I am killing myself with fear and worry about other people and addictions (as well as everything else I am obsessing about). Do you have any good things about how a newcomer to this idea would learn about detachment? Someone...	Slugcat	9	1518	Aug 23, 2010 by kitty
	Finally told my kids their dad is an Alcoholic (Preview) My children are 7 and 9. I have always avoided telling them the truth about their dad. It was easy to hide it, lie about it, etc. b/c they were young and I was always around them. Unfortunately, they are witnessing more arguments between us b/c of the drinking...specifically the fact they are not allowe...	looking_for_peace	7	2173	Aug 23, 2010 by abbyal
	In a good place (Preview) Days gone by I had prayed for peace in my life, prayed to be able to handle all that was handed to me, prayed my kids would turn out ok with the alcoholism that runs in our family. How I love my just for today bookmark, keeping me on track to not worry about everyone else, taking every day as it comes. Today, af...	suzip	3	759	Aug 22, 2010 by pineapple
	ignore this (Preview) wrote a big long rant and i cant post it sorry -- Edited by Slugcat on Sunday 22nd of August 2010 07:49:14 PM	Slugcat	1	614	Aug 22, 2010 by pineapple
	Going crazy from alcoholic, dyfunctional family! (Preview) I am 4th from the oldest of 9 children. 7 of them are alcoholics and or drug addicted! I finally decided I need to talk to others in the same boat. I have been dealing with this for over 30 years! My mom is 76 and calls me all the time worried or crying over my brothers especially! I just want it to stop. I tried...	LynninCalif	18	1358	Aug 22, 2010 by LynninCalif
	raised to be an alcoholic (Preview) I was raised to be an alcoholic. My mother is a classic enabler. So, she raised me to be a drunk. And I tried really hard to BE an A. I drank, I manipulated, I lied, I cheated, I stole, I was entitled, I used drugs, I disrespected myself and everyone else, I was in trouble with the law, I normalized my behavior...	freeagain	6	728	Aug 22, 2010 by maresie
	powerless sorry this is a not sure if this ok to post here (Preview) person i am worried about it, that particular person is not an alki so i dont know if i can post here again about him. hes on the otherside of the planet to me.like 36 hour journey, 26 hours in flights. ive not seen him in 3 years. i feel desperate to go see him. somehow if i go there i can drag him to a meeting or...	Slugcat	8	695	Aug 22, 2010 by maresie
	Day 2 of the hostility :( (Preview) So, I messed up. I blew up at him. After a full 24 hours of the silent treatment, I asked him what he was so upset about. He said that "what [I'm] doing is really sh*y." (What I'M** doing??? So many possible responses to this, none of them constructive...) I asked him what he thought I was d...	applecake	17	979	Aug 22, 2010 by maresie
	my beutiful baby boy (Preview) My son is gone ,he is consumed by something i cannot control and it is ripping my heart out.The pain is so excruciating i can hardly breath.Since he was 15 i have been on a rollacoaster ride to now he is 21.Where did my son go he was such a lovely child.The hopelessness i feel at not being able to save him is ki...	tidalwave	8	1087	Aug 22, 2010 by xeno59
	Is this Support or Control??? (Preview) My husband, with few exceptions, relapses on a Saturday. I work all day; he does not. He has alot of free time on his hands. Would it be supportive or controlling to change the days I work or take off some weekends or is this just not taking care of myself and taking care of him? Thank you. I always know I...	wifeofalcoholic	11	891	Aug 22, 2010 by smartkat
	He stopped drinking but Im still so angry all the time.. (Preview) My ah finally stopped drinking. For now. It took our 13 yr old daughter finally stepping in and telling him he was ruining himself, and his family. And Im grateful he stopped. Im trying to be ok and happy and act like everything is ok cuz I dnt want him to start again. For my kids sake and for his own, but its n...	renee26	5	913	Aug 22, 2010 by RedHead
	Merry-go-round continues-LONG (Preview) Last week I let my 7-year-old daughter stay at our trailer alone with my AH. They stayed 3 nights. On the 3rd night I couldn't shake the feeling that he was drinking, so I drove out. I was correct. His eyes were bloodshot, his speech was slightly slurred. She happened to have a dental appt. the next day, so...	looking_for_peace	4	874	Aug 22, 2010 by RedHead
	handled incorrectly? (Preview) I need some advise here. I (and my AH) attended a birthday party on Saturday for our now 3 year old granddaughter. We were there for about 3 1/2 hours, for the picnic, opening of gifts, and for the cake. Then the booze started coming out and knowing how uncomfortable I get with "that", we went h...	Sweet Stanley	10	1284	Aug 21, 2010 by Lem
	A slip...(slips) (Preview) I've been in Al-Anon quite a long time, but slipped today by not going to a meeting but doing another activity instead. I was so depleted and negative at work after this, that I know that I effected other people and I was miserable. I could really use some support. I'll plan to go to a meeting late...	Lem	9	1380	Aug 21, 2010 by Lem
	Just want some esh! (Preview) Ok then my husband and I descussed what boundaries we needed to set with our son, and the consequences, they are very basic, deadlines for coming home, letting us know where he is and who he is with, and making his probation attendence top priority, followed by better selfcare washing and getting prop...	Katy	7	866	Aug 21, 2010 by xeno59
	Update...the hard part is over... (Preview) Ok, has been a week since I talked with my parents about getting back together with my sober ABF. The reception was better that I could have imagined. No screaming, yelling and crying. My mother is having a harder time with it, as she is super attached to my daughter, which I can totally understand. Of c...	Ri	6	711	Aug 21, 2010 by xeno59
	being hypersensitive (Preview) Wish I would not compare myself to others. There was a lady this evening talking about how her daughter had two kids, was working full time, and going to school. Well I immediately related it to my life thinking that my choice to work part time and go to school part time and raise my three children (single...	kath	4	892	Aug 21, 2010 by Jerry F
	"Struggle for Intimacy"-great read! (Preview) My apologies if I shouldn't put this link up here, but I did purchase a book using the links provided on MIP and received this book yesterday..."Struggle for Intimacy" (dedicated to adult children of alcoholics) written by Janet Geringer Woititz. I sat down to read it and I couldn't put it down. V...	sg	2	1132	Aug 21, 2010 by shellsea
	New (to me) acronym (Preview) DENIAL Don't Even kNow I Am Lying Thought it was quite profound and decided to share with y'all.	blender_girl	5	1182	Aug 21, 2010 by luv123
	Phone Bridge mtngs (Preview) If u need support, in addition tothis and chat room outreach--please remember to go on the phone bridge meetings. It is a VA number and at the end there are often ppl who leave their number for sponsor calls. (not every meeting, but at least half). At 712-432-8733 pin is 52639. These phone bridge-con...	luv123	2	8069	Aug 21, 2010 by luv123
	Feel like a failure (Preview) Hi , I'm broweyes I used to come here a lot. Thank you John for inviting me back. This past year has been filled with trouble and heartache. I started having panic attacks right before my husband was to get out of jail once again. I have been on all kinds of medication and it seems to have been working. But I q...	browneyes	6	1066	Aug 21, 2010 by browneyes
	Missing Kids and Consequences (Preview) When my ex-AH was drinking in the spring, I told him if he slipped again, he'd have to be sober for a month before he could see the kids again. I'd discussed it with all three kids' counselors, and we all felt it was appropriate. We moved out to get away from the day-to-day insanity of alcoholism; I don't...	lmw	5	902	Aug 21, 2010 by Mattie
	It's sad (Preview) My husband has been drinking for many years. Two years ago I told him he needed to get it under control within the next year. He continued to drink excessively until about month 10. At that time I asked him if he had any plans of reigning it in, he didn't even know when the year started. So.....he qui...	shnook	6	999	Aug 20, 2010 by Bettina
	Acceptance and Forgiveness (Preview) I can't seem to get heart around how to (from my deepest truest self) forgive someone who deflects and dismisses attempts to resolve an issue with him. I've been trying to "let go and let God" .... Uhhhh,, not happening after 5 years.. so is acceptance and "blind" forgiv...	glad	5	1365	Aug 20, 2010 by Jerry F
	So he slipped and so did I (Preview) I don't know what happened, my bf came back from rehab this past weekend and was doing well all week, going to AA every day and even went two times one day. He is living with his parents, who started Alanon but are not really working the program at all. They were supposed to give him his check book back an...	Maize	6	882	Aug 20, 2010 by Maize
	Went to my first F2F last night...and AH's response (Preview) I told my husband that I had a meeting to go to. I'd decided that if he asked me what meeting it was, I would tell him. I'm pretty involved in some social things/organizations, and "going to a meeting" is pretty common for me. So he didn't ask before I left. I'm glad, because it was really ha...	applecake	8	955	Aug 20, 2010 by Jerry F
	Struggling with concern (Preview) My AH boyfriend left with one suitcase 3 weeks ago. took one week before he called and then called everyday but I did not answer. Finally, last week, I decided I needed to talk to him to see what was going on. He said he left because he felt like a burden after the disagreement we had. he was staying between a...	DareToDream	17	1189	Aug 20, 2010 by DareToDream
	Changes (Preview) Hello again, It's been way too long since I've posted, though I've read often. For those of you who remember me, things have gotten better here, and for those of you who don't remember me, well, I'm really not any different than you. Two years ago, when I became a member, I was so scared, so unsure, so UN...	liljeannie	3	789	Aug 20, 2010 by liljeannie
	I hope the blessings work for all! (Preview) Like I said on Monday, now it is Thurs., you can be a blessing to anyone. I feel like just today I made a few peoples' days just by a smile & a positive comment. I think I will start using affirmations as well. I really need a pick-me-up now & then, Today is one of them(just because). For the last year...	Hoot Nanny	4	655	Aug 20, 2010 by Tattyhead
	ENOUGH (Preview) Dear Friends I apologise in advance for this vent, but I've just had it. As if there wasnt enough crap raining down on my family Im now reeling in shock, my cousin who I love like a brother, (we were brought up together) has been diagnosed today with a lump in his lung. CT scan tomorrow followed by a biopsy....	Ness	9	1024	Aug 20, 2010 by xeno59
	Had enough. (Preview) Had enough with the A partner. Come home and she's been in the sole care of 3 year old daughter (although she does go to day nursery). Parter is so obviously under the influence she's reeling. Oh here we go again, another joyful evening I think. I just can't be bothered and just ignore her. She tries to goa...	jitsuka	7	1055	Aug 20, 2010 by jitsuka
	Need advice please (Preview) My husband has had over 20 years sobrierity due to alcohol. However, within the past few years he has become addicted to pain medication. He was prescribed the medication due to two failed back surgeries. The doctor basically gave him carte blanche with the quantity and frequency he would prescr...	Allee	9	673	Aug 19, 2010 by Allee
	Bad F2F experience (Preview) Well, I attended my eighth, and most likley my last, F2F meeting last night. As I've said before, it is the ONLY meeting held in my area. If I get desperate, there is meeting about an hour away. I attended this one once and it was great. I know if Iget introuble, I canalways go to this meeting and I will feel...	never going back	16	917	Aug 19, 2010 by never going back
	New here, new to alanon :( 9 years overdue. (Preview) Hi. I found this board this morning. I will be going to my first "real" alanon meeting tonight. I just can't take it anymore. The few friends who know about my situation sympathize, but have no idea what to say to me...I feel very alone when it comes to this. A little brief history: DH &am...	applecake	12	974	Aug 19, 2010 by abbyal
	depression, Alanon, and sobriety - which do i address first? (Preview) I have depression and am also a spouse of an of alcoholic. My DH has been sober 5 months now and I am more depressed, confused, and worried than before even though he has made some very healthy changes in his life. Anyone else have this experience? I find it hard to focus on myself ... Have to admit I do mor...	membee	9	1940	Aug 19, 2010 by Maize
	C2C reading (Preview) This reading hit me like a ton of bricks. I LOVED SOMEONE THAT COULDN'T BE TRUSTED...it made me very sad but it forces me to look at the reality that is my life. My son is sick and I cannot believe most things that he tells me. I cannot trust him ever to do what he says he is going to do I think the emotional part...	Gailey	2	718	Aug 19, 2010 by Ness
	Exhausted, but I am taking a trip (Preview) I am so tired. The last few days have been a real reminder of the sickness in my AH and myself. I am emotionally hung over. Yuck. I did recognize my part in it right away, well it was a little to late because the ball was rolling. The question was "Are you at the bar?" Silly me, I know better. It bec...	miss_carol	2	726	Aug 19, 2010 by DreamXL
	Singularity is a whole 'nother ball of wax. (Preview) I've been feeling sort of "blaaaah" lately. I might attribute some of it to normal cyclical changes in hormone levels, but certainly just not feeling totally chipper and enthusiastic towards life in general. When living with my AH there was always HIM. Something wasn't going right it wa...	Aloha	6	992	Aug 19, 2010 by Rora
	Back in fear (Preview) I do not want to have to do this. I do not want to have to get a restraining order, I do not want to have to deal with the state and get no contact a part of a parole agreement, I do not want to have to deal with my xah's 'ism's anymore. I chose divorce, I chose no further contact ... and if I respect that I can't make...	Jennifer	9	1051	Aug 18, 2010 by Jennifer
	This disease is a Devilish Function (Preview) Its been two months and a few days since the XAH almost met his maker. The Doctors worked so hard at saving his life , it took two days to stabilize him. A ruptured esophagus and multiple ulcers. Only 10 % survive a ruptured esophagus. Survive he did. After the surgery, I drove him home from the hospital....	Bettina	9	1055	Aug 18, 2010 by Bettina
	using what ive learned in alanon (Preview) ive been in recovery for long enough that my son was born when i was 5years sober..the program carried me through many difficulties...got more into alanon after my husband left us and I got together with old bf from past (ran into him at AA dance) after we got hooked up found him to be chronic relapse guy a...	fairee	4	888	Aug 18, 2010 by Ness
	Finding a Sponsor? (Preview) Hello. I'm still new to Al-Anon (just over a month) and I know it may be too soon to be asking such a question, but how do I go about finding a sponsor? At meetings, they don't seem to ask who is willing to be a sponsor, as I've seen in open AA meetings. And I don't know the proper way to approach someone or what t...	mrphunny	3	729	Aug 18, 2010 by abbyal
	POWER...POWERLESS...stuck! (Preview) Good day my recovering family, since coming here, about 2 weeks ago, I have experienced so much. I am so much less HOPELESS about things. But, I am STUCK. I don't feel ANYTHING. I don't feel sad...or happy. Joy...or pain. Nothing. Nada. I feel passionless about my life. After seeing my sister and her a...	rainbojo66	7	911	Aug 18, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	my f2f meeting (Preview) Was getting ready to go to my f2f meeting. Bf asked "Why are you going to those f*****ing meetings anyway?" Thanks to alanon I answered "Because I choose to." Yes, I had other answers in my head that were sarcastic but I didn't go that way. That question was still bothering me at my...	buick23	6	2030	Aug 17, 2010 by abbyal
	Betrayal and resentments... (Preview) Hi all, It's been a while since I posted. last weekend our daughter had an incident. blah blah etc., She is an alcoholic, has medical problems. so we stepped in to helpher. She realizes her problem an is WILLING to get help. I love her and am greatful for that. Now it's up to her and her HP. My problem?/ I al...	chauri	4	1228	Aug 17, 2010 by chauri
	At my witts end!!!!! (Preview) This is my first time posting. I don't know how much longer I can take the ups and downs of this roller coaster I've been on for the last 15 yrs. Just when I think things are looking up and I get comfortable again I get slapped in the face. Somebody respond I know I am not the only one with this problem. I thin...	snodebb	11	1220	Aug 17, 2010 by abbyal
	Lost and Speechless (Preview) I'm new to Al-Anon. My partner started the program a month ago as she grew up in an alcoholic home. The last six months have been very trying and twice she threatened to leave, wanting to end her life. I reached out to her sister who lives across the country and her sister recommended Al-Anon. On a daily b...	hopeful1ca	6	953	Aug 17, 2010 by Jerry F
	RESPONSIBILITIES (Preview) The Al-Anon program teaches me, I am responsible for: How I feel, and what I need and want, and my happiness. I do this with the help of a Power Greater than myself. I respectfully call PG for short. I've been taught "In order to keep what I have-I have to give it away." So I'd like to share m...	Mary Glen Scot	1	619	Aug 17, 2010 by Jerry F
	18 yr old son got picked up for a DUI (Preview) Hello Friends, Well got that call, and guess what I did....nothing....nothing...nothing. My son got pulled over and arrested for a DUI....It just so happened that his cousin was driving by and they released his car to her and took him to the er to draw bloood, God I am wondering what else he is doing. M...	Andrea12	22	1388	Aug 17, 2010 by Maize
	Boundaries again. (Preview) These past weeks I have been working with a people pleaser at my job. I was a inveterate people pleaser most of my life. I had to be in al anon for a few years to get a grip on it. I did have all the books, the knowledge and more but I did not have the tools and self awareness to stop. I had some misconstrued id...	maresie	4	1488	Aug 17, 2010 by kitty
	new n lost (Preview) i am new here and so lost. I don't know what to say or what can help. It was suggested to me to go to al anon meetings and since there were none in my area I came online to see what it was about. Where do I start? What do I need to know?	so lost	9	1640	Aug 17, 2010 by Ness
	Need advice on how to handle this... (Preview) Some may know my story: AH recently off long-term use of clonazepam. He has mostly good days, but bad days are pretty bad with a lot of paranoia, etc. I am trying to make our marriage work, telling myself that things will get better with time (??). Because of his bad experience with being on prescription...	looking_for_peace	10	922	Aug 17, 2010 by Jennifer
	And now it's our son! (Preview) I often thought to myself, I wish I knew then what I know now, I might of been able to get better quicker, and so with all my experience dealing with my a husband and my now sadly deseased, a brother, and having alanon big in my life, I realise I have been in denial about our 19 year old son, I think I can unders...	Katy	8	1689	Aug 17, 2010 by Ness
	Fighting "UR" Expectations (Preview) I was Sitting here today, and really became bothered by something, something that was meant and handed to me out of Kindness "I think", yet when i sit down, and get into it, things within it have just hit a nerve... Like someones sitting on my chest... Now i know that what I do, is only by "...	Jozie	2	1398	Aug 17, 2010 by Katy
	Taking a break (Preview) (((Family))), Just wanted to let you know that I am taking a break from the board for a few weeks. I am trying to resolve some issues regarding my sister. My thinking seems to be all screwed up or at the very least addled. I need to clear my head & refocus so that I can be of better service to you all. D...	Karilynn	8	922	Aug 16, 2010 by Andrea12
	ESH Needed, please. (Preview) My daughter, now 27 went through rehab a few years ago. Met a guy who would put up with NOTHING and she was clean and sober for years. Broke up with him late last year, wound up hanging out with people she shouldn't, although stayed clean. Those people got into some major trouble, forcing her to have to...	ajt62	2	857	Aug 16, 2010 by Jerry F
	Don't know how he manages to stay alive! (Preview) Doc gave me 30 Xanax tablets. I told him I would not take the things, but he gave them to me anyway, explaining that I could try one when I become so very upset about A's drunk binges. Knowing I wouldn't touch them, I nevertheless stuffed them in my purse and went home. Put the container complete with 30...	Diva	6	912	Aug 16, 2010 by Rocky38
	He hasn't drank since october 2007 (Preview) this last dry period has been the third time in our 25 year marriage, this being the longest time without active alcohol use. But now he's buying NA beer and I know the next step will be "I can handle it now" when he buys the real stuff. BTDT. I told him this last time that he quit that I would no...	LIONESS	6	1377	Aug 16, 2010 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.