Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

FlyingSquirrel · FlyingSquirrel

I attended a couple meetings last year but couldn't manage to wrap my poor newly sober brain around it. I'm thinking about going again now, because I view relationship issues as the biggest threat to my sobriety, my wife just went back out and spent the night at her boyfriend's house (see Charlie Brow...

maresie · maresie

I grew up in a family that were severely mentally ill. There were no boundaries in that place, everything was a disaster and catastrophe ruled. My parents and indeed my siblings could not cope with day to day living so they didn't they merely survived it. Most of my life I have therefore been pretty &...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I got a call from my ex a little while ago. He says he's going out tonight and will pick up my 9 year old son in the morning for church, instead of picking him up tonight. Fine with me - I'd rather have my kid at home anyway! But I couldn't help thinking that I hope he doesn't get hurt tonight going out. He ha...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

Carol, alanon. From reading my last post and everyone's wonderful feedback ("I go thru enough at home"), I realize that I still determine my own worthiness or goodness by everyone else's behavior toward me. This undoubtedly came from living in an alcoholic household. When I don't satis...

kath · kath

Has almost been two months since my children and I have seen my AH. It has been almost two weeks since we have "spoken" through text. We left back in November. I kept going back to his house to bring the kids for a visit because I felt responsible. Since my last visit to go see him I decided that I...

Cosmos · Cosmos

Hi I have been writing here many times before since I joined Al-Anon in the end of April this year. And I always find that it helps me to make important choices in my life. I entered Al-Anon, still while being in the relationship with a girl in England (I am Norwegian, but study in England). She broke up w...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

After speaking to my dh about his drinking and hiding it, he acknowledged it and told me he'd not drink again. He seemed pretty sincere and things between us had been good since then. We took a mini family 3 day vacation last week and the 3 of us spend all 72 hrs together. We hiked, fished, and went drivi...

snodebb · snodebb

This is only my 2nd time posting. I AH has been drunk every night for the last 2 weeks and I mean super drunk, except for the weekend because we were camping and he doesnt drink if he is with us 24hrs. He drinks before he gets home at night or he hangs out in the garage and hides hes beer in there. The last time we...

shellsea · shellsea

Hello Friends,I came to a huge realization today. I am an ACOA and not a "joiner" when it comes to groups (church, community activities, etc.). I often feel like I'm on the outside looking in on others having fun. My mom phoned me today and I told her I was at a quilt show. I have always want...

stopandchat · stopandchat

I'm sad about it...he managed to stay sober for 9 months. I'm happy that he is not here at our home though. I don't know what's going to happen with him. If he manages to stop now, he may have a chance. If not, I believe he's going to kill himself. I did ask someone to go by the apartment he's living in to make su...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I'm working on my back deck, replacing the boards that are 20 years old, rotting etc. I've had so many problems and I feel pretty discouraged. For one thing I'm no carpenter and while I had some experience doing the front deck (which went way easier for a variety of reasons) it seems that the experienc...

Maize · Maize

I have hope for a good afternoon and evening with my abf. I have hope that this weekend will go smoothly with him. I have hope that his HP will work in his life through my changes. I have hope that I will get myself to Alanon tonight while he goes to AA in the same building.... I have hope that I will make it t...

hope4me · hope4me

My husband just finished 3 weeks of inpatient rehab for alcohol addiction. At the end of his first week there he wrote me a beutiful letter telling me how much he was learning and how he felt like he was coming to know himself better. He called and texted with me frequently throughout the day. Durin...

js399964 · js399964

I've been struggling lately to cope with living in a small space with my alcoholic. He relapsed about a month ago and has been on a binge ever since, and I'm struggling to maintain my serenity having him around drunk. We live in a very small one bed flat and can't afford another arrangement at the moment,...

mon123 · mon123

I can't believe i'm sharing this after replying to a similar thread a few days ago.I began a new group last year with a friend of mine. we live in a city and there was no city centre group. One closed a couple of years before we began this new one. I never went to the old one, so i don't know (except through rumo...

Jozie · Jozie

How fast things can change.... Two Days ago... My Son (13) about caught the house on fire, he was smart enough to go for the extengusher, and save our home, however I could not get over what a HORRIBLE mistake he made, "Putting a Plastic Plate In the Toaster Over".... He is Generally an "...

Rora · Rora

I used to be on here a lot at one time. I found my head was very cloudy and that I needed a break because I was having a hard time discerning what were the right choices for me and what were the right choices for others. I have been separated from my aH for nearly 2 years and I am ready to move on to divorce. Many...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

Hi, it's Carol. I had an awful night. I had gone to a face to face alanon meeting last night. Had a horrible experience there. I was five minutes early and walked into the room. There, I realized that although the secretary was there, the literature had not been put out yet. I wasn't sure if there was go...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Had this somewhat depressing thought yesterday and it's stuck with me....I feel like I have nothing to live for......now I'm not suicidal so don't anyone panic....but I feel like I just go through the motions each day. Even when doing things I like (cooking, playing guitar etc.) the good feelings l...

Jennifer · Jennifer

It's been a great summer, just working and being lazy and now it's almost over. Full time hours, 12 credits and moving the business to a new location ... all by January LOL What the heck was I thinking? I am really not projecting but am facing and accepting reality that my time for next 5 months is no longer...

Maize · Maize

I have learned this week that when I expect something from someone or expect someone to do something (or not do something) it ends up that I don't get what I expect. I then get resentful. I have figured out that I need to say what I mean and mean what I say in every situation (and not say it mean). I am not th...

moonchild · moonchild

Hello everyone... I haven't been in touch for 6 months because my A SON was in treatment... I have kept with the program in the process..... My reason for writting is, My A SON has relapsed after almost 7 months sober... He was to graduate from his program in 2 weeks... (SALVATION ARMY) Jayson (my...

CarrieLynette · CarrieLynette

Hi, I'm new to Al-Anon, I just found out about it yesterday and found a meeting. It was not what I expected, I kind of just hoped to slip into the back of the room and quietly listen. The room was small and only about 12 or 15 people were there and everyone was sitting in a circle, I was overwhelmed with emoti...

Jozie · Jozie

This was in one of my Daily readings and it was stated that "HOME" was my "Anchor, my Haven, my Safety, I was untrapped....." Well I have to say this one I can not say... Anchor... We Moved 11 times in 10 Years around 20 by the time I was 23, Haven..... When I picture I a Haven, Sorry to s...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi all, I posted a few weeks ago that my 8 months sober AH moved out of our home when I was at work. He rented an apartment, and said that he needed to find some independence, get a sponsor, and start working the steps and his program. He said that his moving out had nothing to do with me. I had a very hard time no...

nh girl · nh girl

I haven't visited this site or read any Al-Anon literature nearly all week. And as a result this has been an emotional week for me. I'm feeling stressed about the direction my life is going right now. I guess really the lack of direction. I am in this weird place of transitioning from one way of livi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

anger: a dubious luxury I can't afford! I am one of those that are mentioned when dealing with anger although I am working on it! I also had trouble w/ my pet! I almost lost it almost 2 years ago when my cat destroyed an area of my home--long story! anyhow, I am working on the profanity that I mentioned bef...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((Friends))))))))), Well this was a weekend from hell in my home. My son lost another good friend. Saturday evening one of my son's friends came over and was a little wasted. He asked if he could stay I said, sure....next thing I knew he was passed out in the chair.....was sitting in the othe...

Love Always Hopes · Love Always Hopes

It's been several months since I've been here. Since that time, I moved out from living with my ABF, have had times of "no contact" recommended by a church counselor - which one of us always broke to the point it was useless...After one particularly hurtful incident, I even changed my phon...

ESH · ESH

No longer seeing the A-bf... woot-woot! I feel so free! He has been gone (mentally, spiritually) for a long, long time. During our last months together I found myself getting angrier and angrier just being in his presence (or even hearing his voice on the phone). I figured out why I was angry. He ne...

Sara Tamar · Sara Tamar

So, tomorrow is his birthday. We were going to go out tonight after work (he works for me) to celebrate. About a half hour before we were going to leave, he was hyper and animated and over-the-top -- I strongly suspect (though I cannot prove) that he had grabbed "just one drink." He wanted t...

melanie2590 · melanie2590

I think my husband may have a problem. We have been married for 6 1/2 yrs and we have two children. When he was younger, he got into a lot of trouble because of alcohol. He has two DWIs and an MIP from before I met him. For years, we never drank at all. Within the past two years, we both started drinking sociall...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

but with no success . I got him into the car, but once I explained to him that I wanted to take him somewhere so that he could "rest" and receive regular meals, and get him some decent clothes, it was on. He became belligerent, to the point of opening the car door with us going down the highway doi...

maresie · maresie

This weekend I read a book on assessing people before you let them into your life. The topic was actually depression which the author saw as a relational issue rather than a physical one. That brought me to thinking do I carry on with people who press the boundary all the time. I have an acqautance (at...

RedHead · RedHead

I have been married to an alcoholic for 17 years. Some of this time we were separated because of his drinking. I took him back because he was sober for months and attending meetings. But, I think, he is drinking again. We have a fourteen year old son who has unfortunately been apart of all his dad's dra...

suzip · suzip

F2F meeting tonight about tolerance... I'd like to think that I'm tolerant, but maybe not so much sometimes. As long as my boundaries are not crossed, I am pretty tolerant. Not trying to control anyone but myself and taking one day at a time keeps me on track. Sometimes its just hard to let go of that con...

rainbojo66 · rainbojo66

wow...what has it been now...like 3 weeks? My reactions to things have changed so dramatically (because I listen to my HP and my smart sponsor who has been there done that and got out alive lol) that people have no clue what to do with me. But I find the calmer I am, the more engraged my sister gets now. It...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I AM NOT GOING TO EXCUSE MYSELF BUT LATELY IT REALLY HAS BEEN EVIDENT OF GOD'S PRESENCE IN MY LIFE LATELY. I AM MORE THAN GRATEFUL IF IT IS POSSIBLE TO BE SO! TO ALL YOU NEW PEOPLE, I CAN SEE HOW THIS MIGHT BE A TOUCHY SUBJECT! BUT HERE I GO: LATELY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SHOWING UP IN MY LIFE AT THE EXACT TIME I HAVE BE...

FlyingSquirrel · FlyingSquirrel

(It was suggested that I repost this here and get your comments) Will someone just shoot me now and put me out of my misery? God I always just wanted to shake Charlie Brown and say, snap out of it man, she's gonna pull that football away every time, don't BELIEVE her this time! So my wife, from whom I'm sepa...

luv123 · luv123

2. Obsessive thnking is a big thing to address when we first come to program and on going...--the alc. has the disease of the "drinking" while we have the disease of the "thinking". (also, probably a big part of why the alc. wants to aenesthetize himself--to get out of head). we d...

Slugcat · Slugcat

If this is wrong place to post this please tell me and dont get mad just tell me and I wont post about this again ok. I need avice how to react when talking to relative whos addicted to food. This is how our conversations go usually. Me: i am so worried about you, how is your health. Him: Oh no need to worry abo...

Heartbreak5 · Heartbreak5

I am a new member and in desperate need of advice. My 30 y.o. daughter is a severe alcoholic. She has 2 children and recently left her husband. She just moved next door, to me. Initially, I thought this would be healthy for my grandchildren, as I'd be available to & for them. We have a uniquely b...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

....maybe anyone who has tried this. I put my adult son out of my mother's house about 9 weeks ago because of all the reasons you have to go to such an extreme. He made his way back and got into her house last night, today I went up there to check on him and he looks like h#ll. I have never, in the last ten years o...

lantana · lantana

I am unable to alter my living situation at the moment. Currently: 1. my mother, who is a long term alcoholic with rages.2. my father, who drinks heavily and daily.3. my brother, who does not drink but has a serious mental illness. I will move out as soon as I am able. In the meantime, if you have any experi...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Sometimes I think that this stuff is no big deal until I compare it to the past before recovery. The milestone is that tomorrow is our (current wife and I) 16th wedding anniversary. Put all of our past marriages together and our time together and the length of our marriage out lasts them all. What the...

applecake · applecake

He broke down. After 2 1/2 days of cold, painful, silent hostility, he finally said to me last night that "he wasn't mad at me anymore." This opened up a door to a looooong talk. He admitted to me that he'd spent the last two days building up a huge argument/attack in his mind against me, but...

Slugcat · Slugcat

Not sure where I belong as far as meetings go but I know I got to learn to detach. I am killing myself with fear and worry about other people and addictions (as well as everything else I am obsessing about). Do you have any good things about how a newcomer to this idea would learn about detachment? Someone...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

My children are 7 and 9. I have always avoided telling them the truth about their dad. It was easy to hide it, lie about it, etc. b/c they were young and I was always around them. Unfortunately, they are witnessing more arguments between us b/c of the drinking...specifically the fact they are not allowe...

suzip · suzip

Days gone by I had prayed for peace in my life, prayed to be able to handle all that was handed to me, prayed my kids would turn out ok with the alcoholism that runs in our family. How I love my just for today bookmark, keeping me on track to not worry about everyone else, taking every day as it comes. Today, af...

Slugcat · Slugcat

wrote a big long rant and i cant post it sorry -- Edited by Slugcat on Sunday 22nd of August 2010 07:49:14 PM

LynninCalif · LynninCalif

I am 4th from the oldest of 9 children. 7 of them are alcoholics and or drug addicted! I finally decided I need to talk to others in the same boat. I have been dealing with this for over 30 years! My mom is 76 and calls me all the time worried or crying over my brothers especially! I just want it to stop. I tried...

freeagain · freeagain

I was raised to be an alcoholic. My mother is a classic enabler. So, she raised me to be a drunk. And I tried really hard to BE an A. I drank, I manipulated, I lied, I cheated, I stole, I was entitled, I used drugs, I disrespected myself and everyone else, I was in trouble with the law, I normalized my behavior...

Slugcat · Slugcat

person i am worried about it, that particular person is not an alki so i dont know if i can post here again about him. hes on the otherside of the planet to me.like 36 hour journey, 26 hours in flights. ive not seen him in 3 years. i feel desperate to go see him. somehow if i go there i can drag him to a meeting or...

applecake · applecake

So, I messed up. I blew up at him. After a full 24 hours of the silent treatment, I asked him what he was so upset about. He said that "what [I'm] doing is really sh***y." (What I'M doing??? So many possible responses to this, none of them constructive...) I asked him what he thought I was d...

tidalwave · tidalwave

My son is gone ,he is consumed by something i cannot control and it is ripping my heart out.The pain is so excruciating i can hardly breath.Since he was 15 i have been on a rollacoaster ride to now he is 21.Where did my son go he was such a lovely child.The hopelessness i feel at not being able to save him is ki...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

My husband, with few exceptions, relapses on a Saturday. I work all day; he does not. He has alot of free time on his hands. Would it be supportive or controlling to change the days I work or take off some weekends or is this just not taking care of myself and taking care of him? Thank you. I always know I...

renee26 · renee26

My ah finally stopped drinking. For now. It took our 13 yr old daughter finally stepping in and telling him he was ruining himself, and his family. And Im grateful he stopped. Im trying to be ok and happy and act like everything is ok cuz I dnt want him to start again. For my kids sake and for his own, but its n...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Last week I let my 7-year-old daughter stay at our trailer alone with my AH. They stayed 3 nights. On the 3rd night I couldn't shake the feeling that he was drinking, so I drove out. I was correct. His eyes were bloodshot, his speech was slightly slurred. She happened to have a dental appt. the next day, so...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

I need some advise here. I (and my AH) attended a birthday party on Saturday for our now 3 year old granddaughter. We were there for about 3 1/2 hours, for the picnic, opening of gifts, and for the cake. Then the booze started coming out and knowing how uncomfortable I get with "that", we went h...

Lem · Lem

I've been in Al-Anon quite a long time, but slipped today by not going to a meeting but doing another activity instead. I was so depleted and negative at work after this, that I know that I effected other people and I was miserable. I could really use some support. I'll plan to go to a meeting late...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Can someone please explain Al-Anon to me in a nutshell? Preferably someone who's also in AA? (Preview) I attended a couple meetings last year but couldn't manage to wrap my poor newly sober brain around it. I'm thinking about going again now, because I view relationship issues as the biggest threat to my sobriety, my wife just went back out and spent the night at her boyfriend's house (see Charlie Brow...	FlyingSquirrel	11	2263	Aug 29, 2010 by mon123
	Bad choices (Preview) I grew up in a family that were severely mentally ill. There were no boundaries in that place, everything was a disaster and catastrophe ruled. My parents and indeed my siblings could not cope with day to day living so they didn't they merely survived it. Most of my life I have therefore been pretty &...	maresie	5	890	Aug 29, 2010 by maresie
	Old thinking (Preview) I got a call from my ex a little while ago. He says he's going out tonight and will pick up my 9 year old son in the morning for church, instead of picking him up tonight. Fine with me - I'd rather have my kid at home anyway! But I couldn't help thinking that I hope he doesn't get hurt tonight going out. He ha...	White Rabbit	2	772	Aug 29, 2010 by maresie
	when will I learn detachment? (Preview) Carol, alanon. From reading my last post and everyone's wonderful feedback ("I go thru enough at home"), I realize that I still determine my own worthiness or goodness by everyone else's behavior toward me. This undoubtedly came from living in an alcoholic household. When I don't satis...	Carol_Lynn	8	1248	Aug 29, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	the great silence (Preview) Has almost been two months since my children and I have seen my AH. It has been almost two weeks since we have "spoken" through text. We left back in November. I kept going back to his house to bring the kids for a visit because I felt responsible. Since my last visit to go see him I decided that I...	kath	5	888	Aug 29, 2010 by dragonflys
	I CAN'T WIN (Preview) Hi I have been writing here many times before since I joined Al-Anon in the end of April this year. And I always find that it helps me to make important choices in my life. I entered Al-Anon, still while being in the relationship with a girl in England (I am Norwegian, but study in England). She broke up w...	Cosmos	9	1018	Aug 29, 2010 by DreamXL
	I snooped.....was that a bad thing? (Preview) After speaking to my dh about his drinking and hiding it, he acknowledged it and told me he'd not drink again. He seemed pretty sincere and things between us had been good since then. We took a mini family 3 day vacation last week and the 3 of us spend all 72 hrs together. We hiked, fished, and went drivi...	ilovedogs	19	880	Aug 29, 2010 by Bettina
	every time we plan something he comes home drunk!!!!!!!!!!1 (Preview) This is only my 2nd time posting. I AH has been drunk every night for the last 2 weeks and I mean super drunk, except for the weekend because we were camping and he doesnt drink if he is with us 24hrs. He drinks before he gets home at night or he hangs out in the garage and hides hes beer in there. The last time we...	snodebb	11	1152	Aug 29, 2010 by GailMichelle
	Fear of Intimacy and Fear of Failure (Preview) Hello Friends,I came to a huge realization today. I am an ACOA and not a "joiner" when it comes to groups (church, community activities, etc.). I often feel like I'm on the outside looking in on others having fun. My mom phoned me today and I told her I was at a quilt show. I have always want...	shellsea	5	1129	Aug 28, 2010 by shellsea
	AH relapsed today.... (Preview) I'm sad about it...he managed to stay sober for 9 months. I'm happy that he is not here at our home though. I don't know what's going to happen with him. If he manages to stop now, he may have a chance. If not, I believe he's going to kill himself. I did ask someone to go by the apartment he's living in to make su...	stopandchat	7	486	Aug 28, 2010 by fishinmama
	Easy to get down on myself.... (Preview) I'm working on my back deck, replacing the boards that are 20 years old, rotting etc. I've had so many problems and I feel pretty discouraged. For one thing I'm no carpenter and while I had some experience doing the front deck (which went way easier for a variety of reasons) it seems that the experienc...	mjhyankees	10	723	Aug 28, 2010 by maresie
	Hope (Preview) I have hope for a good afternoon and evening with my abf. I have hope that this weekend will go smoothly with him. I have hope that his HP will work in his life through my changes. I have hope that I will get myself to Alanon tonight while he goes to AA in the same building.... I have hope that I will make it t...	Maize	4	708	Aug 28, 2010 by mjhyankees
	please help! (Preview) My husband just finished 3 weeks of inpatient rehab for alcohol addiction. At the end of his first week there he wrote me a beutiful letter telling me how much he was learning and how he felt like he was coming to know himself better. He called and texted with me frequently throughout the day. Durin...	hope4me	12	935	Aug 27, 2010 by stopandchat
	Coping with small spaces... (Preview) I've been struggling lately to cope with living in a small space with my alcoholic. He relapsed about a month ago and has been on a binge ever since, and I'm struggling to maintain my serenity having him around drunk. We live in a very small one bed flat and can't afford another arrangement at the moment,...	js399964	5	608	Aug 27, 2010 by mon123
	f 2 f group problems. ESH needed (Preview) I can't believe i'm sharing this after replying to a similar thread a few days ago.I began a new group last year with a friend of mine. we live in a city and there was no city centre group. One closed a couple of years before we began this new one. I never went to the old one, so i don't know (except through rumo...	mon123	13	896	Aug 27, 2010 by mon123
	Life's too Short for Woulda/Coulda/shoulda... (Preview) How fast things can change.... Two Days ago... My Son (13) about caught the house on fire, he was smart enough to go for the extengusher, and save our home, however I could not get over what a HORRIBLE mistake he made, "Putting a Plastic Plate In the Toaster Over".... He is Generally an "...	Jozie	4	1010	Aug 26, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Starting a new phase of this... (Preview) I used to be on here a lot at one time. I found my head was very cloudy and that I needed a break because I was having a hard time discerning what were the right choices for me and what were the right choices for others. I have been separated from my aH for nearly 2 years and I am ready to move on to divorce. Many...	Rora	4	791	Aug 26, 2010 by Rora
	i go thru enough at home! (Preview) Hi, it's Carol. I had an awful night. I had gone to a face to face alanon meeting last night. Had a horrible experience there. I was five minutes early and walked into the room. There, I realized that although the secretary was there, the literature had not been put out yet. I wasn't sure if there was go...	Carol_Lynn	9	1147	Aug 26, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Something to live for......????? (Preview) Had this somewhat depressing thought yesterday and it's stuck with me....I feel like I have nothing to live for......now I'm not suicidal so don't anyone panic....but I feel like I just go through the motions each day. Even when doing things I like (cooking, playing guitar etc.) the good feelings l...	mjhyankees	6	767	Aug 26, 2010 by maresie
	September & reality hits (Preview) It's been a great summer, just working and being lazy and now it's almost over. Full time hours, 12 credits and moving the business to a new location ... all by January LOL What the heck was I thinking? I am really not projecting but am facing and accepting reality that my time for next 5 months is no longer...	Jennifer	4	658	Aug 26, 2010 by Jennifer
	Expectations=Resentment (Preview) I have learned this week that when I expect something from someone or expect someone to do something (or not do something) it ends up that I don't get what I expect. I then get resentful. I have figured out that I need to say what I mean and mean what I say in every situation (and not say it mean). I am not th...	Maize	12	1768	Aug 26, 2010 by Maize
	RELAPSED After 7 months (Preview) Hello everyone... I haven't been in touch for 6 months because my A SON was in treatment... I have kept with the program in the process..... My reason for writting is, My A SON has relapsed after almost 7 months sober... He was to graduate from his program in 2 weeks... (SALVATION ARMY) Jayson (my...	moonchild	9	822	Aug 26, 2010 by Greenvalleygal
	Day 1 at Al-Anon (Preview) Hi, I'm new to Al-Anon, I just found out about it yesterday and found a meeting. It was not what I expected, I kind of just hoped to slip into the back of the room and quietly listen. The room was small and only about 12 or 15 people were there and everyone was sitting in a circle, I was overwhelmed with emoti...	CarrieLynette	14	639	Aug 26, 2010 by applecake
	Home... ???? (Preview) This was in one of my Daily readings and it was stated that "HOME" was my "Anchor, my Haven, my Safety, I was untrapped....." Well I have to say this one I can not say... Anchor... We Moved 11 times in 10 Years around 20 by the time I was 23, Haven..... When I picture I a Haven, Sorry to s...	Jozie	3	788	Aug 25, 2010 by maresie
	I feel like just walking away... (Preview) Hi all, I posted a few weeks ago that my 8 months sober AH moved out of our home when I was at work. He rented an apartment, and said that he needed to find some independence, get a sponsor, and start working the steps and his program. He said that his moving out had nothing to do with me. I had a very hard time no...	stopandchat	5	816	Aug 25, 2010 by mjhyankees
	winds of change (Preview) I haven't visited this site or read any Al-Anon literature nearly all week. And as a result this has been an emotional week for me. I'm feeling stressed about the direction my life is going right now. I guess really the lack of direction. I am in this weird place of transitioning from one way of livi...	nh girl	5	616	Aug 25, 2010 by CarrieLynette
	just a short comment on Today's reading! (Preview) anger: a dubious luxury I can't afford! I am one of those that are mentioned when dealing with anger although I am working on it! I also had trouble w/ my pet! I almost lost it almost 2 years ago when my cat destroyed an area of my home--long story! anyhow, I am working on the profanity that I mentioned bef...	Hoot Nanny	3	781	Aug 25, 2010 by Maize
	Another senseless Death (Preview) (((((((((Friends))))))))), Well this was a weekend from hell in my home. My son lost another good friend. Saturday evening one of my son's friends came over and was a little wasted. He asked if he could stay I said, sure....next thing I knew he was passed out in the chair.....was sitting in the othe...	Andrea12	24	1412	Aug 25, 2010 by moonchild
	Hopelessly Devoted or Hopelessly Stupid? (Preview) It's been several months since I've been here. Since that time, I moved out from living with my ABF, have had times of "no contact" recommended by a church counselor - which one of us always broke to the point it was useless...After one particularly hurtful incident, I even changed my phon...	Love Always Hopes	10	883	Aug 24, 2010 by stopandchat
	I'm FREEEEEE! (Preview) No longer seeing the A-bf... woot-woot! I feel so free! He has been gone (mentally, spiritually) for a long, long time. During our last months together I found myself getting angrier and angrier just being in his presence (or even hearing his voice on the phone). I figured out why I was angry. He ne...	ESH	15	675	Aug 24, 2010 by ESH
	Broken hearted (again) (Preview) So, tomorrow is his birthday. We were going to go out tonight after work (he works for me) to celebrate. About a half hour before we were going to leave, he was hyper and animated and over-the-top -- I strongly suspect (though I cannot prove) that he had grabbed "just one drink." He wanted t...	Sara Tamar	5	853	Aug 24, 2010 by stopandchat
	Feeling lost. (Preview) I think my husband may have a problem. We have been married for 6 1/2 yrs and we have two children. When he was younger, he got into a lot of trouble because of alcohol. He has two DWIs and an MIP from before I met him. For years, we never drank at all. Within the past two years, we both started drinking sociall...	melanie2590	8	878	Aug 24, 2010 by stopandchat
	Tried Hard..... (Preview) but with no success . I got him into the car, but once I explained to him that I wanted to take him somewhere so that he could "rest" and receive regular meals, and get him some decent clothes, it was on. He became belligerent, to the point of opening the car door with us going down the highway doi...	DreamsOver	9	943	Aug 24, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	Who do you invite into your life? (Preview) This weekend I read a book on assessing people before you let them into your life. The topic was actually depression which the author saw as a relational issue rather than a physical one. That brought me to thinking do I carry on with people who press the boundary all the time. I have an acqautance (at...	maresie	6	903	Aug 24, 2010 by maresie
	Fourteen year old son (Preview) I have been married to an alcoholic for 17 years. Some of this time we were separated because of his drinking. I took him back because he was sober for months and attending meetings. But, I think, he is drinking again. We have a fourteen year old son who has unfortunately been apart of all his dad's dra...	RedHead	5	729	Aug 24, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Tolerance..Intolerance (Preview) F2F meeting tonight about tolerance... I'd like to think that I'm tolerant, but maybe not so much sometimes. As long as my boundaries are not crossed, I am pretty tolerant. Not trying to control anyone but myself and taking one day at a time keeps me on track. Sometimes its just hard to let go of that con...	suzip	6	3060	Aug 24, 2010 by abbyal
	Changes... (Preview) wow...what has it been now...like 3 weeks? My reactions to things have changed so dramatically (because I listen to my HP and my smart sponsor who has been there done that and got out alive lol) that people have no clue what to do with me. But I find the calmer I am, the more engraged my sister gets now. It...	rainbojo66	3	698	Aug 24, 2010 by rainbojo66
	pardon me; but it is a God-thing! (Preview) I AM NOT GOING TO EXCUSE MYSELF BUT LATELY IT REALLY HAS BEEN EVIDENT OF GOD'S PRESENCE IN MY LIFE LATELY. I AM MORE THAN GRATEFUL IF IT IS POSSIBLE TO BE SO! TO ALL YOU NEW PEOPLE, I CAN SEE HOW THIS MIGHT BE A TOUCHY SUBJECT! BUT HERE I GO: LATELY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SHOWING UP IN MY LIFE AT THE EXACT TIME I HAVE BE...	Hoot Nanny	5	920	Aug 24, 2010 by Hoot Nanny
	Me: Charlie Brown, Her: Lucy (Preview) (It was suggested that I repost this here and get your comments) Will someone just shoot me now and put me out of my misery? God I always just wanted to shake Charlie Brown and say, snap out of it man, she's gonna pull that football away every time, don't BELIEVE her this time! So my wife, from whom I'm sepa...	FlyingSquirrel	6	1152	Aug 24, 2010 by Bettina
	Letting go Obsessive thoughts (Preview) 2. Obsessive thnking is a big thing to address when we first come to program and on going...--the alc. has the disease of the "drinking" while we have the disease of the "thinking". (also, probably a big part of why the alc. wants to aenesthetize himself--to get out of head). we d...	luv123	4	2054	Aug 24, 2010 by Maize
	what do i say when talking to relative (Preview) If this is wrong place to post this please tell me and dont get mad just tell me and I wont post about this again ok. I need avice how to react when talking to relative whos addicted to food. This is how our conversations go usually. Me: i am so worried about you, how is your health. Him: Oh no need to worry abo...	Slugcat	7	880	Aug 24, 2010 by Slugcat
	My Alcoholic Daughter-How Do I Start A Discussion (Preview) I am a new member and in desperate need of advice. My 30 y.o. daughter is a severe alcoholic. She has 2 children and recently left her husband. She just moved next door, to me. Initially, I thought this would be healthy for my grandchildren, as I'd be available to & for them. We have a uniquely b...	Heartbreak5	7	2894	Aug 24, 2010 by Heartbreak5
	I Need Advice...... (Preview) ....maybe anyone who has tried this. I put my adult son out of my mother's house about 9 weeks ago because of all the reasons you have to go to such an extreme. He made his way back and got into her house last night, today I went up there to check on him and he looks like h#ll. I have never, in the last ten years o...	DreamsOver	11	800	Aug 24, 2010 by freefalling
	When codependents cause harm (Preview) I am unable to alter my living situation at the moment. Currently: 1. my mother, who is a long term alcoholic with rages.2. my father, who drinks heavily and daily.3. my brother, who does not drink but has a serious mental illness. I will move out as soon as I am able. In the meantime, if you have any experi...	lantana	8	1230	Aug 23, 2010 by Mattie
	A milestone and a miracle... (Preview) Sometimes I think that this stuff is no big deal until I compare it to the past before recovery. The milestone is that tomorrow is our (current wife and I) 16th wedding anniversary. Put all of our past marriages together and our time together and the length of our marriage out lasts them all. What the...	Jerry F	19	1108	Aug 23, 2010 by Jozie
	miracle #1 (Preview) He broke down. After 2 1/2 days of cold, painful, silent hostility, he finally said to me last night that "he wasn't mad at me anymore." This opened up a door to a looooong talk. He admitted to me that he'd spent the last two days building up a huge argument/attack in his mind against me, but...	applecake	7	781	Aug 23, 2010 by All I can be
	How do you do detachment? (Preview) Not sure where I belong as far as meetings go but I know I got to learn to detach. I am killing myself with fear and worry about other people and addictions (as well as everything else I am obsessing about). Do you have any good things about how a newcomer to this idea would learn about detachment? Someone...	Slugcat	9	1497	Aug 23, 2010 by kitty
	Finally told my kids their dad is an Alcoholic (Preview) My children are 7 and 9. I have always avoided telling them the truth about their dad. It was easy to hide it, lie about it, etc. b/c they were young and I was always around them. Unfortunately, they are witnessing more arguments between us b/c of the drinking...specifically the fact they are not allowe...	looking_for_peace	7	2153	Aug 23, 2010 by abbyal
	In a good place (Preview) Days gone by I had prayed for peace in my life, prayed to be able to handle all that was handed to me, prayed my kids would turn out ok with the alcoholism that runs in our family. How I love my just for today bookmark, keeping me on track to not worry about everyone else, taking every day as it comes. Today, af...	suzip	3	740	Aug 22, 2010 by pineapple
	ignore this (Preview) wrote a big long rant and i cant post it sorry -- Edited by Slugcat on Sunday 22nd of August 2010 07:49:14 PM	Slugcat	1	596	Aug 22, 2010 by pineapple
	Going crazy from alcoholic, dyfunctional family! (Preview) I am 4th from the oldest of 9 children. 7 of them are alcoholics and or drug addicted! I finally decided I need to talk to others in the same boat. I have been dealing with this for over 30 years! My mom is 76 and calls me all the time worried or crying over my brothers especially! I just want it to stop. I tried...	LynninCalif	18	1333	Aug 22, 2010 by LynninCalif
	raised to be an alcoholic (Preview) I was raised to be an alcoholic. My mother is a classic enabler. So, she raised me to be a drunk. And I tried really hard to BE an A. I drank, I manipulated, I lied, I cheated, I stole, I was entitled, I used drugs, I disrespected myself and everyone else, I was in trouble with the law, I normalized my behavior...	freeagain	6	703	Aug 22, 2010 by maresie
	powerless sorry this is a not sure if this ok to post here (Preview) person i am worried about it, that particular person is not an alki so i dont know if i can post here again about him. hes on the otherside of the planet to me.like 36 hour journey, 26 hours in flights. ive not seen him in 3 years. i feel desperate to go see him. somehow if i go there i can drag him to a meeting or...	Slugcat	8	674	Aug 22, 2010 by maresie
	Day 2 of the hostility :( (Preview) So, I messed up. I blew up at him. After a full 24 hours of the silent treatment, I asked him what he was so upset about. He said that "what [I'm] doing is really sh*y." (What I'M** doing??? So many possible responses to this, none of them constructive...) I asked him what he thought I was d...	applecake	17	962	Aug 22, 2010 by maresie
	my beutiful baby boy (Preview) My son is gone ,he is consumed by something i cannot control and it is ripping my heart out.The pain is so excruciating i can hardly breath.Since he was 15 i have been on a rollacoaster ride to now he is 21.Where did my son go he was such a lovely child.The hopelessness i feel at not being able to save him is ki...	tidalwave	8	1026	Aug 22, 2010 by xeno59
	Is this Support or Control??? (Preview) My husband, with few exceptions, relapses on a Saturday. I work all day; he does not. He has alot of free time on his hands. Would it be supportive or controlling to change the days I work or take off some weekends or is this just not taking care of myself and taking care of him? Thank you. I always know I...	wifeofalcoholic	11	868	Aug 22, 2010 by smartkat
	He stopped drinking but Im still so angry all the time.. (Preview) My ah finally stopped drinking. For now. It took our 13 yr old daughter finally stepping in and telling him he was ruining himself, and his family. And Im grateful he stopped. Im trying to be ok and happy and act like everything is ok cuz I dnt want him to start again. For my kids sake and for his own, but its n...	renee26	5	888	Aug 22, 2010 by RedHead
	Merry-go-round continues-LONG (Preview) Last week I let my 7-year-old daughter stay at our trailer alone with my AH. They stayed 3 nights. On the 3rd night I couldn't shake the feeling that he was drinking, so I drove out. I was correct. His eyes were bloodshot, his speech was slightly slurred. She happened to have a dental appt. the next day, so...	looking_for_peace	4	852	Aug 22, 2010 by RedHead
	handled incorrectly? (Preview) I need some advise here. I (and my AH) attended a birthday party on Saturday for our now 3 year old granddaughter. We were there for about 3 1/2 hours, for the picnic, opening of gifts, and for the cake. Then the booze started coming out and knowing how uncomfortable I get with "that", we went h...	Sweet Stanley	10	1262	Aug 21, 2010 by Lem
	A slip...(slips) (Preview) I've been in Al-Anon quite a long time, but slipped today by not going to a meeting but doing another activity instead. I was so depleted and negative at work after this, that I know that I effected other people and I was miserable. I could really use some support. I'll plan to go to a meeting late...	Lem	9	1358	Aug 21, 2010 by Lem
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.