Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Had this somewhat depressing thought yesterday and it's stuck with me....I feel like I have nothing to live for......now I'm not suicidal so don't anyone panic....but I feel like I just go through the motions each day. Even when doing things I like (cooking, playing guitar etc.) the good feelings l...

Jennifer · Jennifer

It's been a great summer, just working and being lazy and now it's almost over. Full time hours, 12 credits and moving the business to a new location ... all by January LOL What the heck was I thinking? I am really not projecting but am facing and accepting reality that my time for next 5 months is no longer...

Maize · Maize

I have learned this week that when I expect something from someone or expect someone to do something (or not do something) it ends up that I don't get what I expect. I then get resentful. I have figured out that I need to say what I mean and mean what I say in every situation (and not say it mean). I am not th...

moonchild · moonchild

Hello everyone... I haven't been in touch for 6 months because my A SON was in treatment... I have kept with the program in the process..... My reason for writting is, My A SON has relapsed after almost 7 months sober... He was to graduate from his program in 2 weeks... (SALVATION ARMY) Jayson (my...

CarrieLynette · CarrieLynette

Hi, I'm new to Al-Anon, I just found out about it yesterday and found a meeting. It was not what I expected, I kind of just hoped to slip into the back of the room and quietly listen. The room was small and only about 12 or 15 people were there and everyone was sitting in a circle, I was overwhelmed with emoti...

Jozie · Jozie

This was in one of my Daily readings and it was stated that "HOME" was my "Anchor, my Haven, my Safety, I was untrapped....." Well I have to say this one I can not say... Anchor... We Moved 11 times in 10 Years around 20 by the time I was 23, Haven..... When I picture I a Haven, Sorry to s...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi all, I posted a few weeks ago that my 8 months sober AH moved out of our home when I was at work. He rented an apartment, and said that he needed to find some independence, get a sponsor, and start working the steps and his program. He said that his moving out had nothing to do with me. I had a very hard time no...

nh girl · nh girl

I haven't visited this site or read any Al-Anon literature nearly all week. And as a result this has been an emotional week for me. I'm feeling stressed about the direction my life is going right now. I guess really the lack of direction. I am in this weird place of transitioning from one way of livi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

anger: a dubious luxury I can't afford! I am one of those that are mentioned when dealing with anger although I am working on it! I also had trouble w/ my pet! I almost lost it almost 2 years ago when my cat destroyed an area of my home--long story! anyhow, I am working on the profanity that I mentioned bef...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((Friends))))))))), Well this was a weekend from hell in my home. My son lost another good friend. Saturday evening one of my son's friends came over and was a little wasted. He asked if he could stay I said, sure....next thing I knew he was passed out in the chair.....was sitting in the othe...

Love Always Hopes · Love Always Hopes

It's been several months since I've been here. Since that time, I moved out from living with my ABF, have had times of "no contact" recommended by a church counselor - which one of us always broke to the point it was useless...After one particularly hurtful incident, I even changed my phon...

ESH · ESH

No longer seeing the A-bf... woot-woot! I feel so free! He has been gone (mentally, spiritually) for a long, long time. During our last months together I found myself getting angrier and angrier just being in his presence (or even hearing his voice on the phone). I figured out why I was angry. He ne...

Sara Tamar · Sara Tamar

So, tomorrow is his birthday. We were going to go out tonight after work (he works for me) to celebrate. About a half hour before we were going to leave, he was hyper and animated and over-the-top -- I strongly suspect (though I cannot prove) that he had grabbed "just one drink." He wanted t...

melanie2590 · melanie2590

I think my husband may have a problem. We have been married for 6 1/2 yrs and we have two children. When he was younger, he got into a lot of trouble because of alcohol. He has two DWIs and an MIP from before I met him. For years, we never drank at all. Within the past two years, we both started drinking sociall...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

but with no success . I got him into the car, but once I explained to him that I wanted to take him somewhere so that he could "rest" and receive regular meals, and get him some decent clothes, it was on. He became belligerent, to the point of opening the car door with us going down the highway doi...

maresie · maresie

This weekend I read a book on assessing people before you let them into your life. The topic was actually depression which the author saw as a relational issue rather than a physical one. That brought me to thinking do I carry on with people who press the boundary all the time. I have an acqautance (at...

RedHead · RedHead

I have been married to an alcoholic for 17 years. Some of this time we were separated because of his drinking. I took him back because he was sober for months and attending meetings. But, I think, he is drinking again. We have a fourteen year old son who has unfortunately been apart of all his dad's dra...

suzip · suzip

F2F meeting tonight about tolerance... I'd like to think that I'm tolerant, but maybe not so much sometimes. As long as my boundaries are not crossed, I am pretty tolerant. Not trying to control anyone but myself and taking one day at a time keeps me on track. Sometimes its just hard to let go of that con...

rainbojo66 · rainbojo66

wow...what has it been now...like 3 weeks? My reactions to things have changed so dramatically (because I listen to my HP and my smart sponsor who has been there done that and got out alive lol) that people have no clue what to do with me. But I find the calmer I am, the more engraged my sister gets now. It...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I AM NOT GOING TO EXCUSE MYSELF BUT LATELY IT REALLY HAS BEEN EVIDENT OF GOD'S PRESENCE IN MY LIFE LATELY. I AM MORE THAN GRATEFUL IF IT IS POSSIBLE TO BE SO! TO ALL YOU NEW PEOPLE, I CAN SEE HOW THIS MIGHT BE A TOUCHY SUBJECT! BUT HERE I GO: LATELY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SHOWING UP IN MY LIFE AT THE EXACT TIME I HAVE BE...

FlyingSquirrel · FlyingSquirrel

(It was suggested that I repost this here and get your comments) Will someone just shoot me now and put me out of my misery? God I always just wanted to shake Charlie Brown and say, snap out of it man, she's gonna pull that football away every time, don't BELIEVE her this time! So my wife, from whom I'm sepa...

luv123 · luv123

2. Obsessive thnking is a big thing to address when we first come to program and on going...--the alc. has the disease of the "drinking" while we have the disease of the "thinking". (also, probably a big part of why the alc. wants to aenesthetize himself--to get out of head). we d...

Slugcat · Slugcat

If this is wrong place to post this please tell me and dont get mad just tell me and I wont post about this again ok. I need avice how to react when talking to relative whos addicted to food. This is how our conversations go usually. Me: i am so worried about you, how is your health. Him: Oh no need to worry abo...

Heartbreak5 · Heartbreak5

I am a new member and in desperate need of advice. My 30 y.o. daughter is a severe alcoholic. She has 2 children and recently left her husband. She just moved next door, to me. Initially, I thought this would be healthy for my grandchildren, as I'd be available to & for them. We have a uniquely b...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

....maybe anyone who has tried this. I put my adult son out of my mother's house about 9 weeks ago because of all the reasons you have to go to such an extreme. He made his way back and got into her house last night, today I went up there to check on him and he looks like h#ll. I have never, in the last ten years o...

lantana · lantana

I am unable to alter my living situation at the moment. Currently: 1. my mother, who is a long term alcoholic with rages.2. my father, who drinks heavily and daily.3. my brother, who does not drink but has a serious mental illness. I will move out as soon as I am able. In the meantime, if you have any experi...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Sometimes I think that this stuff is no big deal until I compare it to the past before recovery. The milestone is that tomorrow is our (current wife and I) 16th wedding anniversary. Put all of our past marriages together and our time together and the length of our marriage out lasts them all. What the...

applecake · applecake

He broke down. After 2 1/2 days of cold, painful, silent hostility, he finally said to me last night that "he wasn't mad at me anymore." This opened up a door to a looooong talk. He admitted to me that he'd spent the last two days building up a huge argument/attack in his mind against me, but...

Slugcat · Slugcat

Not sure where I belong as far as meetings go but I know I got to learn to detach. I am killing myself with fear and worry about other people and addictions (as well as everything else I am obsessing about). Do you have any good things about how a newcomer to this idea would learn about detachment? Someone...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

My children are 7 and 9. I have always avoided telling them the truth about their dad. It was easy to hide it, lie about it, etc. b/c they were young and I was always around them. Unfortunately, they are witnessing more arguments between us b/c of the drinking...specifically the fact they are not allowe...

suzip · suzip

Days gone by I had prayed for peace in my life, prayed to be able to handle all that was handed to me, prayed my kids would turn out ok with the alcoholism that runs in our family. How I love my just for today bookmark, keeping me on track to not worry about everyone else, taking every day as it comes. Today, af...

Slugcat · Slugcat

wrote a big long rant and i cant post it sorry -- Edited by Slugcat on Sunday 22nd of August 2010 07:49:14 PM

LynninCalif · LynninCalif

I am 4th from the oldest of 9 children. 7 of them are alcoholics and or drug addicted! I finally decided I need to talk to others in the same boat. I have been dealing with this for over 30 years! My mom is 76 and calls me all the time worried or crying over my brothers especially! I just want it to stop. I tried...

freeagain · freeagain

I was raised to be an alcoholic. My mother is a classic enabler. So, she raised me to be a drunk. And I tried really hard to BE an A. I drank, I manipulated, I lied, I cheated, I stole, I was entitled, I used drugs, I disrespected myself and everyone else, I was in trouble with the law, I normalized my behavior...

Slugcat · Slugcat

person i am worried about it, that particular person is not an alki so i dont know if i can post here again about him. hes on the otherside of the planet to me.like 36 hour journey, 26 hours in flights. ive not seen him in 3 years. i feel desperate to go see him. somehow if i go there i can drag him to a meeting or...

applecake · applecake

So, I messed up. I blew up at him. After a full 24 hours of the silent treatment, I asked him what he was so upset about. He said that "what [I'm] doing is really sh***y." (What I'M doing??? So many possible responses to this, none of them constructive...) I asked him what he thought I was d...

tidalwave · tidalwave

My son is gone ,he is consumed by something i cannot control and it is ripping my heart out.The pain is so excruciating i can hardly breath.Since he was 15 i have been on a rollacoaster ride to now he is 21.Where did my son go he was such a lovely child.The hopelessness i feel at not being able to save him is ki...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

My husband, with few exceptions, relapses on a Saturday. I work all day; he does not. He has alot of free time on his hands. Would it be supportive or controlling to change the days I work or take off some weekends or is this just not taking care of myself and taking care of him? Thank you. I always know I...

renee26 · renee26

My ah finally stopped drinking. For now. It took our 13 yr old daughter finally stepping in and telling him he was ruining himself, and his family. And Im grateful he stopped. Im trying to be ok and happy and act like everything is ok cuz I dnt want him to start again. For my kids sake and for his own, but its n...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Last week I let my 7-year-old daughter stay at our trailer alone with my AH. They stayed 3 nights. On the 3rd night I couldn't shake the feeling that he was drinking, so I drove out. I was correct. His eyes were bloodshot, his speech was slightly slurred. She happened to have a dental appt. the next day, so...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

I need some advise here. I (and my AH) attended a birthday party on Saturday for our now 3 year old granddaughter. We were there for about 3 1/2 hours, for the picnic, opening of gifts, and for the cake. Then the booze started coming out and knowing how uncomfortable I get with "that", we went h...

Lem · Lem

I've been in Al-Anon quite a long time, but slipped today by not going to a meeting but doing another activity instead. I was so depleted and negative at work after this, that I know that I effected other people and I was miserable. I could really use some support. I'll plan to go to a meeting late...

Katy · Katy

Ok then my husband and I descussed what boundaries we needed to set with our son, and the consequences, they are very basic, deadlines for coming home, letting us know where he is and who he is with, and making his probation attendence top priority, followed by better selfcare washing and getting prop...

Ri · Ri

Ok, has been a week since I talked with my parents about getting back together with my sober ABF. The reception was better that I could have imagined. No screaming, yelling and crying. My mother is having a harder time with it, as she is super attached to my daughter, which I can totally understand. Of c...

kath · kath

Wish I would not compare myself to others. There was a lady this evening talking about how her daughter had two kids, was working full time, and going to school. Well I immediately related it to my life thinking that my choice to work part time and go to school part time and raise my three children (single...

sg · sg

My apologies if I shouldn't put this link up here, but I did purchase a book using the links provided on MIP and received this book yesterday..."Struggle for Intimacy" (dedicated to adult children of alcoholics) written by Janet Geringer Woititz. I sat down to read it and I couldn't put it down. V...

blender_girl · blender_girl

DENIAL Don't Even kNow I Am Lying Thought it was quite profound and decided to share with y'all.

luv123 · luv123

If u need support, in addition tothis and chat room outreach--please remember to go on the phone bridge meetings. It is a VA number and at the end there are often ppl who leave their number for sponsor calls. (not every meeting, but at least half). At 712-432-8733 pin is 52639. These phone bridge-con...

browneyes · browneyes

Hi , I'm broweyes I used to come here a lot. Thank you John for inviting me back. This past year has been filled with trouble and heartache. I started having panic attacks right before my husband was to get out of jail once again. I have been on all kinds of medication and it seems to have been working. But I q...

lmw · lmw

When my ex-AH was drinking in the spring, I told him if he slipped again, he'd have to be sober for a month before he could see the kids again. I'd discussed it with all three kids' counselors, and we all felt it was appropriate. We moved out to get away from the day-to-day insanity of alcoholism; I don't...

shnook · shnook

My husband has been drinking for many years. Two years ago I told him he needed to get it under control within the next year. He continued to drink excessively until about month 10. At that time I asked him if he had any plans of reigning it in, he didn't even know when the year started. So.....he qui...

glad · glad

I can't seem to get heart around how to (from my deepest truest self) forgive someone who deflects and dismisses attempts to resolve an issue with him. I've been trying to "let go and let God" .... Uhhhh,, not happening after 5 years.. so is acceptance and "blind" forgiv...

Maize · Maize

I don't know what happened, my bf came back from rehab this past weekend and was doing well all week, going to AA every day and even went two times one day. He is living with his parents, who started Alanon but are not really working the program at all. They were supposed to give him his check book back an...

applecake · applecake

I told my husband that I had a meeting to go to. I'd decided that if he asked me what meeting it was, I would tell him. I'm pretty involved in some social things/organizations, and "going to a meeting" is pretty common for me. So he didn't ask before I left. I'm glad, because it was really ha...

DareToDream · DareToDream

My AH boyfriend left with one suitcase 3 weeks ago. took one week before he called and then called everyday but I did not answer. Finally, last week, I decided I needed to talk to him to see what was going on. He said he left because he felt like a burden after the disagreement we had. he was staying between a...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello again, It's been way too long since I've posted, though I've read often. For those of you who remember me, things have gotten better here, and for those of you who don't remember me, well, I'm really not any different than you. Two years ago, when I became a member, I was so scared, so unsure, so UN...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Like I said on Monday, now it is Thurs., you can be a blessing to anyone. I feel like just today I made a few peoples' days just by a smile & a positive comment. I think I will start using affirmations as well. I really need a pick-me-up now & then, Today is one of them(just because). For the last year...

Ness · Ness

Dear Friends I apologise in advance for this vent, but I've just had it. As if there wasnt enough crap raining down on my family Im now reeling in shock, my cousin who I love like a brother, (we were brought up together) has been diagnosed today with a lump in his lung. CT scan tomorrow followed by a biopsy....

jitsuka · jitsuka

Had enough with the A partner. Come home and she's been in the sole care of 3 year old daughter (although she does go to day nursery). Parter is so obviously under the influence she's reeling. Oh here we go again, another joyful evening I think. I just can't be bothered and just ignore her. She tries to goa...

Allee · Allee

My husband has had over 20 years sobrierity due to alcohol. However, within the past few years he has become addicted to pain medication. He was prescribed the medication due to two failed back surgeries. The doctor basically gave him carte blanche with the quantity and frequency he would prescr...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Something to live for......????? (Preview) Had this somewhat depressing thought yesterday and it's stuck with me....I feel like I have nothing to live for......now I'm not suicidal so don't anyone panic....but I feel like I just go through the motions each day. Even when doing things I like (cooking, playing guitar etc.) the good feelings l...	mjhyankees	6	715	Aug 26, 2010 by maresie
	September & reality hits (Preview) It's been a great summer, just working and being lazy and now it's almost over. Full time hours, 12 credits and moving the business to a new location ... all by January LOL What the heck was I thinking? I am really not projecting but am facing and accepting reality that my time for next 5 months is no longer...	Jennifer	4	602	Aug 26, 2010 by Jennifer
	Expectations=Resentment (Preview) I have learned this week that when I expect something from someone or expect someone to do something (or not do something) it ends up that I don't get what I expect. I then get resentful. I have figured out that I need to say what I mean and mean what I say in every situation (and not say it mean). I am not th...	Maize	12	1709	Aug 26, 2010 by Maize
	RELAPSED After 7 months (Preview) Hello everyone... I haven't been in touch for 6 months because my A SON was in treatment... I have kept with the program in the process..... My reason for writting is, My A SON has relapsed after almost 7 months sober... He was to graduate from his program in 2 weeks... (SALVATION ARMY) Jayson (my...	moonchild	9	772	Aug 26, 2010 by Greenvalleygal
	Day 1 at Al-Anon (Preview) Hi, I'm new to Al-Anon, I just found out about it yesterday and found a meeting. It was not what I expected, I kind of just hoped to slip into the back of the room and quietly listen. The room was small and only about 12 or 15 people were there and everyone was sitting in a circle, I was overwhelmed with emoti...	CarrieLynette	14	584	Aug 26, 2010 by applecake
	Home... ???? (Preview) This was in one of my Daily readings and it was stated that "HOME" was my "Anchor, my Haven, my Safety, I was untrapped....." Well I have to say this one I can not say... Anchor... We Moved 11 times in 10 Years around 20 by the time I was 23, Haven..... When I picture I a Haven, Sorry to s...	Jozie	3	726	Aug 25, 2010 by maresie
	I feel like just walking away... (Preview) Hi all, I posted a few weeks ago that my 8 months sober AH moved out of our home when I was at work. He rented an apartment, and said that he needed to find some independence, get a sponsor, and start working the steps and his program. He said that his moving out had nothing to do with me. I had a very hard time no...	stopandchat	5	760	Aug 25, 2010 by mjhyankees
	winds of change (Preview) I haven't visited this site or read any Al-Anon literature nearly all week. And as a result this has been an emotional week for me. I'm feeling stressed about the direction my life is going right now. I guess really the lack of direction. I am in this weird place of transitioning from one way of livi...	nh girl	5	566	Aug 25, 2010 by CarrieLynette
	just a short comment on Today's reading! (Preview) anger: a dubious luxury I can't afford! I am one of those that are mentioned when dealing with anger although I am working on it! I also had trouble w/ my pet! I almost lost it almost 2 years ago when my cat destroyed an area of my home--long story! anyhow, I am working on the profanity that I mentioned bef...	Hoot Nanny	3	727	Aug 25, 2010 by Maize
	Another senseless Death (Preview) (((((((((Friends))))))))), Well this was a weekend from hell in my home. My son lost another good friend. Saturday evening one of my son's friends came over and was a little wasted. He asked if he could stay I said, sure....next thing I knew he was passed out in the chair.....was sitting in the othe...	Andrea12	24	1365	Aug 25, 2010 by moonchild
	Hopelessly Devoted or Hopelessly Stupid? (Preview) It's been several months since I've been here. Since that time, I moved out from living with my ABF, have had times of "no contact" recommended by a church counselor - which one of us always broke to the point it was useless...After one particularly hurtful incident, I even changed my phon...	Love Always Hopes	10	829	Aug 24, 2010 by stopandchat
	I'm FREEEEEE! (Preview) No longer seeing the A-bf... woot-woot! I feel so free! He has been gone (mentally, spiritually) for a long, long time. During our last months together I found myself getting angrier and angrier just being in his presence (or even hearing his voice on the phone). I figured out why I was angry. He ne...	ESH	15	620	Aug 24, 2010 by ESH
	Broken hearted (again) (Preview) So, tomorrow is his birthday. We were going to go out tonight after work (he works for me) to celebrate. About a half hour before we were going to leave, he was hyper and animated and over-the-top -- I strongly suspect (though I cannot prove) that he had grabbed "just one drink." He wanted t...	Sara Tamar	5	795	Aug 24, 2010 by stopandchat
	Feeling lost. (Preview) I think my husband may have a problem. We have been married for 6 1/2 yrs and we have two children. When he was younger, he got into a lot of trouble because of alcohol. He has two DWIs and an MIP from before I met him. For years, we never drank at all. Within the past two years, we both started drinking sociall...	melanie2590	8	824	Aug 24, 2010 by stopandchat
	Tried Hard..... (Preview) but with no success . I got him into the car, but once I explained to him that I wanted to take him somewhere so that he could "rest" and receive regular meals, and get him some decent clothes, it was on. He became belligerent, to the point of opening the car door with us going down the highway doi...	DreamsOver	9	894	Aug 24, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	Who do you invite into your life? (Preview) This weekend I read a book on assessing people before you let them into your life. The topic was actually depression which the author saw as a relational issue rather than a physical one. That brought me to thinking do I carry on with people who press the boundary all the time. I have an acqautance (at...	maresie	6	848	Aug 24, 2010 by maresie
	Fourteen year old son (Preview) I have been married to an alcoholic for 17 years. Some of this time we were separated because of his drinking. I took him back because he was sober for months and attending meetings. But, I think, he is drinking again. We have a fourteen year old son who has unfortunately been apart of all his dad's dra...	RedHead	5	670	Aug 24, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Tolerance..Intolerance (Preview) F2F meeting tonight about tolerance... I'd like to think that I'm tolerant, but maybe not so much sometimes. As long as my boundaries are not crossed, I am pretty tolerant. Not trying to control anyone but myself and taking one day at a time keeps me on track. Sometimes its just hard to let go of that con...	suzip	6	2960	Aug 24, 2010 by abbyal
	Changes... (Preview) wow...what has it been now...like 3 weeks? My reactions to things have changed so dramatically (because I listen to my HP and my smart sponsor who has been there done that and got out alive lol) that people have no clue what to do with me. But I find the calmer I am, the more engraged my sister gets now. It...	rainbojo66	3	642	Aug 24, 2010 by rainbojo66
	pardon me; but it is a God-thing! (Preview) I AM NOT GOING TO EXCUSE MYSELF BUT LATELY IT REALLY HAS BEEN EVIDENT OF GOD'S PRESENCE IN MY LIFE LATELY. I AM MORE THAN GRATEFUL IF IT IS POSSIBLE TO BE SO! TO ALL YOU NEW PEOPLE, I CAN SEE HOW THIS MIGHT BE A TOUCHY SUBJECT! BUT HERE I GO: LATELY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SHOWING UP IN MY LIFE AT THE EXACT TIME I HAVE BE...	Hoot Nanny	5	862	Aug 24, 2010 by Hoot Nanny
	Me: Charlie Brown, Her: Lucy (Preview) (It was suggested that I repost this here and get your comments) Will someone just shoot me now and put me out of my misery? God I always just wanted to shake Charlie Brown and say, snap out of it man, she's gonna pull that football away every time, don't BELIEVE her this time! So my wife, from whom I'm sepa...	FlyingSquirrel	6	1091	Aug 24, 2010 by Bettina
	Letting go Obsessive thoughts (Preview) 2. Obsessive thnking is a big thing to address when we first come to program and on going...--the alc. has the disease of the "drinking" while we have the disease of the "thinking". (also, probably a big part of why the alc. wants to aenesthetize himself--to get out of head). we d...	luv123	4	2000	Aug 24, 2010 by Maize
	what do i say when talking to relative (Preview) If this is wrong place to post this please tell me and dont get mad just tell me and I wont post about this again ok. I need avice how to react when talking to relative whos addicted to food. This is how our conversations go usually. Me: i am so worried about you, how is your health. Him: Oh no need to worry abo...	Slugcat	7	826	Aug 24, 2010 by Slugcat
	My Alcoholic Daughter-How Do I Start A Discussion (Preview) I am a new member and in desperate need of advice. My 30 y.o. daughter is a severe alcoholic. She has 2 children and recently left her husband. She just moved next door, to me. Initially, I thought this would be healthy for my grandchildren, as I'd be available to & for them. We have a uniquely b...	Heartbreak5	7	2835	Aug 24, 2010 by Heartbreak5
	I Need Advice...... (Preview) ....maybe anyone who has tried this. I put my adult son out of my mother's house about 9 weeks ago because of all the reasons you have to go to such an extreme. He made his way back and got into her house last night, today I went up there to check on him and he looks like h#ll. I have never, in the last ten years o...	DreamsOver	11	748	Aug 24, 2010 by freefalling
	When codependents cause harm (Preview) I am unable to alter my living situation at the moment. Currently: 1. my mother, who is a long term alcoholic with rages.2. my father, who drinks heavily and daily.3. my brother, who does not drink but has a serious mental illness. I will move out as soon as I am able. In the meantime, if you have any experi...	lantana	8	1175	Aug 23, 2010 by Mattie
	A milestone and a miracle... (Preview) Sometimes I think that this stuff is no big deal until I compare it to the past before recovery. The milestone is that tomorrow is our (current wife and I) 16th wedding anniversary. Put all of our past marriages together and our time together and the length of our marriage out lasts them all. What the...	Jerry F	19	1055	Aug 23, 2010 by Jozie
	miracle #1 (Preview) He broke down. After 2 1/2 days of cold, painful, silent hostility, he finally said to me last night that "he wasn't mad at me anymore." This opened up a door to a looooong talk. He admitted to me that he'd spent the last two days building up a huge argument/attack in his mind against me, but...	applecake	7	727	Aug 23, 2010 by All I can be
	How do you do detachment? (Preview) Not sure where I belong as far as meetings go but I know I got to learn to detach. I am killing myself with fear and worry about other people and addictions (as well as everything else I am obsessing about). Do you have any good things about how a newcomer to this idea would learn about detachment? Someone...	Slugcat	9	1444	Aug 23, 2010 by kitty
	Finally told my kids their dad is an Alcoholic (Preview) My children are 7 and 9. I have always avoided telling them the truth about their dad. It was easy to hide it, lie about it, etc. b/c they were young and I was always around them. Unfortunately, they are witnessing more arguments between us b/c of the drinking...specifically the fact they are not allowe...	looking_for_peace	7	2103	Aug 23, 2010 by abbyal
	In a good place (Preview) Days gone by I had prayed for peace in my life, prayed to be able to handle all that was handed to me, prayed my kids would turn out ok with the alcoholism that runs in our family. How I love my just for today bookmark, keeping me on track to not worry about everyone else, taking every day as it comes. Today, af...	suzip	3	685	Aug 22, 2010 by pineapple
	ignore this (Preview) wrote a big long rant and i cant post it sorry -- Edited by Slugcat on Sunday 22nd of August 2010 07:49:14 PM	Slugcat	1	546	Aug 22, 2010 by pineapple
	Going crazy from alcoholic, dyfunctional family! (Preview) I am 4th from the oldest of 9 children. 7 of them are alcoholics and or drug addicted! I finally decided I need to talk to others in the same boat. I have been dealing with this for over 30 years! My mom is 76 and calls me all the time worried or crying over my brothers especially! I just want it to stop. I tried...	LynninCalif	18	1270	Aug 22, 2010 by LynninCalif
	raised to be an alcoholic (Preview) I was raised to be an alcoholic. My mother is a classic enabler. So, she raised me to be a drunk. And I tried really hard to BE an A. I drank, I manipulated, I lied, I cheated, I stole, I was entitled, I used drugs, I disrespected myself and everyone else, I was in trouble with the law, I normalized my behavior...	freeagain	6	645	Aug 22, 2010 by maresie
	powerless sorry this is a not sure if this ok to post here (Preview) person i am worried about it, that particular person is not an alki so i dont know if i can post here again about him. hes on the otherside of the planet to me.like 36 hour journey, 26 hours in flights. ive not seen him in 3 years. i feel desperate to go see him. somehow if i go there i can drag him to a meeting or...	Slugcat	8	627	Aug 22, 2010 by maresie
	Day 2 of the hostility :( (Preview) So, I messed up. I blew up at him. After a full 24 hours of the silent treatment, I asked him what he was so upset about. He said that "what [I'm] doing is really sh*y." (What I'M** doing??? So many possible responses to this, none of them constructive...) I asked him what he thought I was d...	applecake	17	906	Aug 22, 2010 by maresie
	my beutiful baby boy (Preview) My son is gone ,he is consumed by something i cannot control and it is ripping my heart out.The pain is so excruciating i can hardly breath.Since he was 15 i have been on a rollacoaster ride to now he is 21.Where did my son go he was such a lovely child.The hopelessness i feel at not being able to save him is ki...	tidalwave	8	952	Aug 22, 2010 by xeno59
	Is this Support or Control??? (Preview) My husband, with few exceptions, relapses on a Saturday. I work all day; he does not. He has alot of free time on his hands. Would it be supportive or controlling to change the days I work or take off some weekends or is this just not taking care of myself and taking care of him? Thank you. I always know I...	wifeofalcoholic	11	804	Aug 22, 2010 by smartkat
	He stopped drinking but Im still so angry all the time.. (Preview) My ah finally stopped drinking. For now. It took our 13 yr old daughter finally stepping in and telling him he was ruining himself, and his family. And Im grateful he stopped. Im trying to be ok and happy and act like everything is ok cuz I dnt want him to start again. For my kids sake and for his own, but its n...	renee26	5	837	Aug 22, 2010 by RedHead
	Merry-go-round continues-LONG (Preview) Last week I let my 7-year-old daughter stay at our trailer alone with my AH. They stayed 3 nights. On the 3rd night I couldn't shake the feeling that he was drinking, so I drove out. I was correct. His eyes were bloodshot, his speech was slightly slurred. She happened to have a dental appt. the next day, so...	looking_for_peace	4	798	Aug 22, 2010 by RedHead
	handled incorrectly? (Preview) I need some advise here. I (and my AH) attended a birthday party on Saturday for our now 3 year old granddaughter. We were there for about 3 1/2 hours, for the picnic, opening of gifts, and for the cake. Then the booze started coming out and knowing how uncomfortable I get with "that", we went h...	Sweet Stanley	10	1210	Aug 21, 2010 by Lem
	A slip...(slips) (Preview) I've been in Al-Anon quite a long time, but slipped today by not going to a meeting but doing another activity instead. I was so depleted and negative at work after this, that I know that I effected other people and I was miserable. I could really use some support. I'll plan to go to a meeting late...	Lem	9	1301	Aug 21, 2010 by Lem
	Just want some esh! (Preview) Ok then my husband and I descussed what boundaries we needed to set with our son, and the consequences, they are very basic, deadlines for coming home, letting us know where he is and who he is with, and making his probation attendence top priority, followed by better selfcare washing and getting prop...	Katy	7	794	Aug 21, 2010 by xeno59
	Update...the hard part is over... (Preview) Ok, has been a week since I talked with my parents about getting back together with my sober ABF. The reception was better that I could have imagined. No screaming, yelling and crying. My mother is having a harder time with it, as she is super attached to my daughter, which I can totally understand. Of c...	Ri	6	629	Aug 21, 2010 by xeno59
	being hypersensitive (Preview) Wish I would not compare myself to others. There was a lady this evening talking about how her daughter had two kids, was working full time, and going to school. Well I immediately related it to my life thinking that my choice to work part time and go to school part time and raise my three children (single...	kath	4	806	Aug 21, 2010 by Jerry F
	"Struggle for Intimacy"-great read! (Preview) My apologies if I shouldn't put this link up here, but I did purchase a book using the links provided on MIP and received this book yesterday..."Struggle for Intimacy" (dedicated to adult children of alcoholics) written by Janet Geringer Woititz. I sat down to read it and I couldn't put it down. V...	sg	2	1007	Aug 21, 2010 by shellsea
	New (to me) acronym (Preview) DENIAL Don't Even kNow I Am Lying Thought it was quite profound and decided to share with y'all.	blender_girl	5	1078	Aug 21, 2010 by luv123
	Phone Bridge mtngs (Preview) If u need support, in addition tothis and chat room outreach--please remember to go on the phone bridge meetings. It is a VA number and at the end there are often ppl who leave their number for sponsor calls. (not every meeting, but at least half). At 712-432-8733 pin is 52639. These phone bridge-con...	luv123	2	7321	Aug 21, 2010 by luv123
	Feel like a failure (Preview) Hi , I'm broweyes I used to come here a lot. Thank you John for inviting me back. This past year has been filled with trouble and heartache. I started having panic attacks right before my husband was to get out of jail once again. I have been on all kinds of medication and it seems to have been working. But I q...	browneyes	6	967	Aug 21, 2010 by browneyes
	Missing Kids and Consequences (Preview) When my ex-AH was drinking in the spring, I told him if he slipped again, he'd have to be sober for a month before he could see the kids again. I'd discussed it with all three kids' counselors, and we all felt it was appropriate. We moved out to get away from the day-to-day insanity of alcoholism; I don't...	lmw	5	833	Aug 21, 2010 by Mattie
	It's sad (Preview) My husband has been drinking for many years. Two years ago I told him he needed to get it under control within the next year. He continued to drink excessively until about month 10. At that time I asked him if he had any plans of reigning it in, he didn't even know when the year started. So.....he qui...	shnook	6	915	Aug 20, 2010 by Bettina
	Acceptance and Forgiveness (Preview) I can't seem to get heart around how to (from my deepest truest self) forgive someone who deflects and dismisses attempts to resolve an issue with him. I've been trying to "let go and let God" .... Uhhhh,, not happening after 5 years.. so is acceptance and "blind" forgiv...	glad	5	1279	Aug 20, 2010 by Jerry F
	So he slipped and so did I (Preview) I don't know what happened, my bf came back from rehab this past weekend and was doing well all week, going to AA every day and even went two times one day. He is living with his parents, who started Alanon but are not really working the program at all. They were supposed to give him his check book back an...	Maize	6	808	Aug 20, 2010 by Maize
	Went to my first F2F last night...and AH's response (Preview) I told my husband that I had a meeting to go to. I'd decided that if he asked me what meeting it was, I would tell him. I'm pretty involved in some social things/organizations, and "going to a meeting" is pretty common for me. So he didn't ask before I left. I'm glad, because it was really ha...	applecake	8	865	Aug 20, 2010 by Jerry F
	Struggling with concern (Preview) My AH boyfriend left with one suitcase 3 weeks ago. took one week before he called and then called everyday but I did not answer. Finally, last week, I decided I needed to talk to him to see what was going on. He said he left because he felt like a burden after the disagreement we had. he was staying between a...	DareToDream	17	1071	Aug 20, 2010 by DareToDream
	Changes (Preview) Hello again, It's been way too long since I've posted, though I've read often. For those of you who remember me, things have gotten better here, and for those of you who don't remember me, well, I'm really not any different than you. Two years ago, when I became a member, I was so scared, so unsure, so UN...	liljeannie	3	712	Aug 20, 2010 by liljeannie
	I hope the blessings work for all! (Preview) Like I said on Monday, now it is Thurs., you can be a blessing to anyone. I feel like just today I made a few peoples' days just by a smile & a positive comment. I think I will start using affirmations as well. I really need a pick-me-up now & then, Today is one of them(just because). For the last year...	Hoot Nanny	4	580	Aug 20, 2010 by Tattyhead
	ENOUGH (Preview) Dear Friends I apologise in advance for this vent, but I've just had it. As if there wasnt enough crap raining down on my family Im now reeling in shock, my cousin who I love like a brother, (we were brought up together) has been diagnosed today with a lump in his lung. CT scan tomorrow followed by a biopsy....	Ness	9	943	Aug 20, 2010 by xeno59
	Had enough. (Preview) Had enough with the A partner. Come home and she's been in the sole care of 3 year old daughter (although she does go to day nursery). Parter is so obviously under the influence she's reeling. Oh here we go again, another joyful evening I think. I just can't be bothered and just ignore her. She tries to goa...	jitsuka	7	986	Aug 20, 2010 by jitsuka
	Need advice please (Preview) My husband has had over 20 years sobrierity due to alcohol. However, within the past few years he has become addicted to pain medication. He was prescribed the medication due to two failed back surgeries. The doctor basically gave him carte blanche with the quantity and frequency he would prescr...	Allee	9	603	Aug 19, 2010 by Allee
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.