Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

barisax · barisax

She's back. Or at least she was for a 4-day weekend. She's back to the "place" for two more weeks and then she's out for good (hopefully). It's a new experience seeing her without her wild mood swings. Her "up" state was magnetic as you might imagine. The normal pattern for ou...

JustJill · JustJill

I have been reading for several weeks. Just joined today. My boyfriend of almost six years just left. We got in the car to go somewhere and I just said have you been drinking? He said No, but I could tell he had. I just do not understand how he could be, he was alone in my house for maybe 15 minutes. Well he told...

RLC · RLC

Choices !!! How important that word is in my life and everyone's life. We make choices large and small from the time we wake up until the time we go to bed at night. We make good choices and we make bad choices, sometimes a choice we think is right turns out to be wrong. Choices can be as small as what we are...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Because I was attending to an amends for myself (the abused child) as I was writing a letter to my program "brother" who at first I displayed anger at being taken away unjustly without notice and then later found out that I myself would have had him incarcerated had I all the information. I b...

Allee · Allee

My AH has been in rehab (out of state) for 30 days. He is working the program, attending and participating in meetings. He is thinking rationally and has his priorities in order. He quit drinking 23 years ago but due to back surgeries became addicted to prescription drugs. His drug of choice was alc...

cuteamy7 · cuteamy7

It's been awhile since I posted about my AMom. I am a 44 yr old woman struggling with loving my mom and taking the high road when she says hatefilled things to me on the phone or via email and recently facebook. At the end of April she started picking at me about everything important or not. It got to the p...

suzip · suzip

It is very comforting to me to not worry about what I am going to do in a month. Or next year. Even next week. I am looking forward only to things that make me smile and happy, my kids High School sports games, my alanon f2f meetings, the trainer that kicks my butt on Sunday mornings at the park.. running in th...

Sangyaa · Sangyaa

So we've reached the point in my Abf's first week off heroin when he decides that I would be better off without him and pushes me away. He tells me if I were older, i'd be smarter and I would've left by now. He says he's bad for me. The funny thing is, my life is kind of a mess- everything of value pawned, work...

pattyann1963 · pattyann1963

hi,sorry its been such a long time since ive been here but i promissed someone here that i would post,she said she could relate,well im trying to disconnect from my 1 yr relationship with my b/f whom id fallen in love with,at this time in my life i do not need a b/f ive never been w/o one though but looking ba...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I dont' know what made me think of this today but a story I'd heard before came to mind and I could identify with it. Maybe someone else will as well. A martial artist, who had become quite proficient, sought a new master to further his training. He found who he was looking for and asked the master to teac...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Ohana (family)...just got a thought and feeling provoking email from a person in the other room. LOL It was one of those that immediately triggers my fangs and talons and a hiss and I pounced on it with my best pre-program skills and then re-read it to see if there was enough heat and flash and we...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), After several weeks away I am back. It feels good. I have missed you all. I did lots of hard thinking regarding the relationship with my sister. My cousin came from Texas & I had a great time with her and my other cousin. We went to a family diner that my family use to go to all the ti...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have a summer cold and a broken toe. My oldest daughter was committed yesterday and I have no intention of having her come back into my home. For those of you who know me you know of the ongoing chaos that has been surrounding her for years. This is her second commitment. She has been defiant and disr...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

It's hard for me to feel gratitude as a general feeling because I'm angry, sad and frustrated about my marriage and how my wife's behavior negatively impacts my daughter, plus the fact that I'm pretty helpless to do anything about it. I can defend my daughter, thus causing a fight, which upsets my dau...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I was wondering if people are finding happiness? I've come to the conclusion that's it's the bottom line for my life. I just want to feel happy and contented. I'm not asking for any particular "thing" out of life, just that feeling. As probably some can Identify with I've lived most of m...

susie56543 · susie56543

This is a pretty long one; but if you feel like reading it, I get to my point at the bottom. I'm so happy that I found al-anon. I have been trying SO hard to back off from trying to control my boyfriend's addiction. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and he relapsed July 1st. If I hadn't found you guys & al-anon, I wou...

stopandchat · stopandchat

It seems as though it's really harsh to say that another human being is "hopeless." However, I am truly starting to think there is no hope for my AH. He has been to countless rehabs, in various programs, numerous hospitals, has all the support he has needed and then some. However, he is still...

pax · pax

I was wondering if any other newbies are having a little trouble getting used to the term 'HP'. I just say God, but I understand that this doesn't work for everyone. When I see 'HP' in a post I first think of Harry Potter, and then Hewlitt Packard

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I have to give credit to my therapist. I'm beginning to think my HP (I can't believe I'm saying this, given my moods recently but this board and program are infectious!) placed this particular person in my life because she is exactly what I need. She has a perky, upbeat, lively personality and seems ab...

snodebb · snodebb

I posted earlier that I was going camping and excpected hubby to either come home drunk or and show up on time. I told him we were leaving at 4pm with or without hime. The girls got the food ready while I was at work, got the trailer loaded. They sent me a text at 3pm as I was leaveing work and said Dad's home...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I'm still working on my deck and I'm beginning to see parallels in this project to me, my attitudes and my life. I'm also beginning to think that my HP placed this project in front of me for a reason (there I go again...). Whether intentional on my HP's part or not, here is what I'm learning: 1. Patience fo...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I confronted dh on the beers I found out he drank while at dinner while traveling for business. He first lied and then admitted to it. We had a very long productive talk about my snooping, trust issues, promises made before we got married, our son, and our happiness. Basically, it came down to: he wan...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Feeling down again...as my other post mentioned....but I'm also tired of working on myself. I've been in Therapy for 3 years in the past and 2 years currently. Did Alanon for 5 years in the past...I know I need to start up again but with my schedule and the fact that because I'm already out so much worki...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

I was going to respond to the camping post but decided to start a new topic on the subject. My AH and I spent the weekend at an AA/Alanon camperama. I just wanted to say that it was a great weekend! A lot of laughs, games, and fellowship. We had an open meeting on Saturday night around the campfire and it wa...

kinker · kinker

Have shared. Maybe paranoid however feel like not welcome. Told to go to f2f not always easy, am not looking for sympathy but answers and support just not feeling it. seems those that have been here a long time show interest only in new people. Told to go to Al Alon by therapist that it would help, am feeli...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Thank you all for the wonderful and kind words you have given me after this horrible tragedy that happened in my home. We are all barely getting thru but we are. With Hope, Andrea

FlyingSquirrel · FlyingSquirrel

I attended a couple meetings last year but couldn't manage to wrap my poor newly sober brain around it. I'm thinking about going again now, because I view relationship issues as the biggest threat to my sobriety, my wife just went back out and spent the night at her boyfriend's house (see Charlie Brow...

maresie · maresie

I grew up in a family that were severely mentally ill. There were no boundaries in that place, everything was a disaster and catastrophe ruled. My parents and indeed my siblings could not cope with day to day living so they didn't they merely survived it. Most of my life I have therefore been pretty &...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I got a call from my ex a little while ago. He says he's going out tonight and will pick up my 9 year old son in the morning for church, instead of picking him up tonight. Fine with me - I'd rather have my kid at home anyway! But I couldn't help thinking that I hope he doesn't get hurt tonight going out. He ha...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

Carol, alanon. From reading my last post and everyone's wonderful feedback ("I go thru enough at home"), I realize that I still determine my own worthiness or goodness by everyone else's behavior toward me. This undoubtedly came from living in an alcoholic household. When I don't satis...

kath · kath

Has almost been two months since my children and I have seen my AH. It has been almost two weeks since we have "spoken" through text. We left back in November. I kept going back to his house to bring the kids for a visit because I felt responsible. Since my last visit to go see him I decided that I...

Cosmos · Cosmos

Hi I have been writing here many times before since I joined Al-Anon in the end of April this year. And I always find that it helps me to make important choices in my life. I entered Al-Anon, still while being in the relationship with a girl in England (I am Norwegian, but study in England). She broke up w...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

After speaking to my dh about his drinking and hiding it, he acknowledged it and told me he'd not drink again. He seemed pretty sincere and things between us had been good since then. We took a mini family 3 day vacation last week and the 3 of us spend all 72 hrs together. We hiked, fished, and went drivi...

snodebb · snodebb

This is only my 2nd time posting. I AH has been drunk every night for the last 2 weeks and I mean super drunk, except for the weekend because we were camping and he doesnt drink if he is with us 24hrs. He drinks before he gets home at night or he hangs out in the garage and hides hes beer in there. The last time we...

shellsea · shellsea

Hello Friends,I came to a huge realization today. I am an ACOA and not a "joiner" when it comes to groups (church, community activities, etc.). I often feel like I'm on the outside looking in on others having fun. My mom phoned me today and I told her I was at a quilt show. I have always want...

stopandchat · stopandchat

I'm sad about it...he managed to stay sober for 9 months. I'm happy that he is not here at our home though. I don't know what's going to happen with him. If he manages to stop now, he may have a chance. If not, I believe he's going to kill himself. I did ask someone to go by the apartment he's living in to make su...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I'm working on my back deck, replacing the boards that are 20 years old, rotting etc. I've had so many problems and I feel pretty discouraged. For one thing I'm no carpenter and while I had some experience doing the front deck (which went way easier for a variety of reasons) it seems that the experienc...

Maize · Maize

I have hope for a good afternoon and evening with my abf. I have hope that this weekend will go smoothly with him. I have hope that his HP will work in his life through my changes. I have hope that I will get myself to Alanon tonight while he goes to AA in the same building.... I have hope that I will make it t...

hope4me · hope4me

My husband just finished 3 weeks of inpatient rehab for alcohol addiction. At the end of his first week there he wrote me a beutiful letter telling me how much he was learning and how he felt like he was coming to know himself better. He called and texted with me frequently throughout the day. Durin...

js399964 · js399964

I've been struggling lately to cope with living in a small space with my alcoholic. He relapsed about a month ago and has been on a binge ever since, and I'm struggling to maintain my serenity having him around drunk. We live in a very small one bed flat and can't afford another arrangement at the moment,...

mon123 · mon123

I can't believe i'm sharing this after replying to a similar thread a few days ago.I began a new group last year with a friend of mine. we live in a city and there was no city centre group. One closed a couple of years before we began this new one. I never went to the old one, so i don't know (except through rumo...

Jozie · Jozie

How fast things can change.... Two Days ago... My Son (13) about caught the house on fire, he was smart enough to go for the extengusher, and save our home, however I could not get over what a HORRIBLE mistake he made, "Putting a Plastic Plate In the Toaster Over".... He is Generally an "...

Rora · Rora

I used to be on here a lot at one time. I found my head was very cloudy and that I needed a break because I was having a hard time discerning what were the right choices for me and what were the right choices for others. I have been separated from my aH for nearly 2 years and I am ready to move on to divorce. Many...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

Hi, it's Carol. I had an awful night. I had gone to a face to face alanon meeting last night. Had a horrible experience there. I was five minutes early and walked into the room. There, I realized that although the secretary was there, the literature had not been put out yet. I wasn't sure if there was go...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Had this somewhat depressing thought yesterday and it's stuck with me....I feel like I have nothing to live for......now I'm not suicidal so don't anyone panic....but I feel like I just go through the motions each day. Even when doing things I like (cooking, playing guitar etc.) the good feelings l...

Jennifer · Jennifer

It's been a great summer, just working and being lazy and now it's almost over. Full time hours, 12 credits and moving the business to a new location ... all by January LOL What the heck was I thinking? I am really not projecting but am facing and accepting reality that my time for next 5 months is no longer...

Maize · Maize

I have learned this week that when I expect something from someone or expect someone to do something (or not do something) it ends up that I don't get what I expect. I then get resentful. I have figured out that I need to say what I mean and mean what I say in every situation (and not say it mean). I am not th...

moonchild · moonchild

Hello everyone... I haven't been in touch for 6 months because my A SON was in treatment... I have kept with the program in the process..... My reason for writting is, My A SON has relapsed after almost 7 months sober... He was to graduate from his program in 2 weeks... (SALVATION ARMY) Jayson (my...

CarrieLynette · CarrieLynette

Hi, I'm new to Al-Anon, I just found out about it yesterday and found a meeting. It was not what I expected, I kind of just hoped to slip into the back of the room and quietly listen. The room was small and only about 12 or 15 people were there and everyone was sitting in a circle, I was overwhelmed with emoti...

Jozie · Jozie

This was in one of my Daily readings and it was stated that "HOME" was my "Anchor, my Haven, my Safety, I was untrapped....." Well I have to say this one I can not say... Anchor... We Moved 11 times in 10 Years around 20 by the time I was 23, Haven..... When I picture I a Haven, Sorry to s...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi all, I posted a few weeks ago that my 8 months sober AH moved out of our home when I was at work. He rented an apartment, and said that he needed to find some independence, get a sponsor, and start working the steps and his program. He said that his moving out had nothing to do with me. I had a very hard time no...

nh girl · nh girl

I haven't visited this site or read any Al-Anon literature nearly all week. And as a result this has been an emotional week for me. I'm feeling stressed about the direction my life is going right now. I guess really the lack of direction. I am in this weird place of transitioning from one way of livi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

anger: a dubious luxury I can't afford! I am one of those that are mentioned when dealing with anger although I am working on it! I also had trouble w/ my pet! I almost lost it almost 2 years ago when my cat destroyed an area of my home--long story! anyhow, I am working on the profanity that I mentioned bef...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((Friends))))))))), Well this was a weekend from hell in my home. My son lost another good friend. Saturday evening one of my son's friends came over and was a little wasted. He asked if he could stay I said, sure....next thing I knew he was passed out in the chair.....was sitting in the othe...

Love Always Hopes · Love Always Hopes

It's been several months since I've been here. Since that time, I moved out from living with my ABF, have had times of "no contact" recommended by a church counselor - which one of us always broke to the point it was useless...After one particularly hurtful incident, I even changed my phon...

ESH · ESH

No longer seeing the A-bf... woot-woot! I feel so free! He has been gone (mentally, spiritually) for a long, long time. During our last months together I found myself getting angrier and angrier just being in his presence (or even hearing his voice on the phone). I figured out why I was angry. He ne...

Sara Tamar · Sara Tamar

So, tomorrow is his birthday. We were going to go out tonight after work (he works for me) to celebrate. About a half hour before we were going to leave, he was hyper and animated and over-the-top -- I strongly suspect (though I cannot prove) that he had grabbed "just one drink." He wanted t...

melanie2590 · melanie2590

I think my husband may have a problem. We have been married for 6 1/2 yrs and we have two children. When he was younger, he got into a lot of trouble because of alcohol. He has two DWIs and an MIP from before I met him. For years, we never drank at all. Within the past two years, we both started drinking sociall...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

but with no success . I got him into the car, but once I explained to him that I wanted to take him somewhere so that he could "rest" and receive regular meals, and get him some decent clothes, it was on. He became belligerent, to the point of opening the car door with us going down the highway doi...

maresie · maresie

This weekend I read a book on assessing people before you let them into your life. The topic was actually depression which the author saw as a relational issue rather than a physical one. That brought me to thinking do I carry on with people who press the boundary all the time. I have an acqautance (at...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	More Goddess, Less Drama (Preview) She's back. Or at least she was for a 4-day weekend. She's back to the "place" for two more weeks and then she's out for good (hopefully). It's a new experience seeing her without her wild mood swings. Her "up" state was magnetic as you might imagine. The normal pattern for ou...	barisax	4	1114	Sep 3, 2010 by barisax
	Boyfriend just left my home (Preview) I have been reading for several weeks. Just joined today. My boyfriend of almost six years just left. We got in the car to go somewhere and I just said have you been drinking? He said No, but I could tell he had. I just do not understand how he could be, he was alone in my house for maybe 15 minutes. Well he told...	JustJill	9	942	Sep 3, 2010 by JustJill
	Choices !!! (Preview) Choices !!! How important that word is in my life and everyone's life. We make choices large and small from the time we wake up until the time we go to bed at night. We make good choices and we make bad choices, sometimes a choice we think is right turns out to be wrong. Choices can be as small as what we are...	RLC	6	1188	Sep 3, 2010 by this too shall pass
	Maize you caught me crying... (Preview) Because I was attending to an amends for myself (the abused child) as I was writing a letter to my program "brother" who at first I displayed anger at being taken away unjustly without notice and then later found out that I myself would have had him incarcerated had I all the information. I b...	Jerry F	1	992	Sep 2, 2010 by Maize
	Rehab Duration (Preview) My AH has been in rehab (out of state) for 30 days. He is working the program, attending and participating in meetings. He is thinking rationally and has his priorities in order. He quit drinking 23 years ago but due to back surgeries became addicted to prescription drugs. His drug of choice was alc...	Allee	4	796	Sep 2, 2010 by abbyal
	More stuff with Mom (Preview) It's been awhile since I posted about my AMom. I am a 44 yr old woman struggling with loving my mom and taking the high road when she says hatefilled things to me on the phone or via email and recently facebook. At the end of April she started picking at me about everything important or not. It got to the p...	cuteamy7	3	614	Sep 2, 2010 by abbyal
	living for today (Preview) It is very comforting to me to not worry about what I am going to do in a month. Or next year. Even next week. I am looking forward only to things that make me smile and happy, my kids High School sports games, my alanon f2f meetings, the trainer that kicks my butt on Sunday mornings at the park.. running in th...	suzip	3	765	Sep 2, 2010 by Maize
	Feeling rejected, hopeless, and a total wreck. (Preview) So we've reached the point in my Abf's first week off heroin when he decides that I would be better off without him and pushes me away. He tells me if I were older, i'd be smarter and I would've left by now. He says he's bad for me. The funny thing is, my life is kind of a mess- everything of value pawned, work...	Sangyaa	8	828	Sep 2, 2010 by Sangyaa
	pattycakes,in dispair (Preview) hi,sorry its been such a long time since ive been here but i promissed someone here that i would post,she said she could relate,well im trying to disconnect from my 1 yr relationship with my b/f whom id fallen in love with,at this time in my life i do not need a b/f ive never been w/o one though but looking ba...	pattyann1963	4	742	Sep 2, 2010 by xeno59
	Story about learning..... (Preview) I dont' know what made me think of this today but a story I'd heard before came to mind and I could identify with it. Maybe someone else will as well. A martial artist, who had become quite proficient, sought a new master to further his training. He found who he was looking for and asked the master to teac...	mjhyankees	4	732	Sep 1, 2010 by Jerry F
	Practice, Practice, Practice... (Preview) Aloha Ohana (family)...just got a thought and feeling provoking email from a person in the other room. LOL It was one of those that immediately triggers my fangs and talons and a hiss and I pounced on it with my best pre-program skills and then re-read it to see if there was enough heat and flash and we...	Jerry F	7	1129	Sep 1, 2010 by Andrea12
	Letting things be & detaching (Preview) ((((Family))), After several weeks away I am back. It feels good. I have missed you all. I did lots of hard thinking regarding the relationship with my sister. My cousin came from Texas & I had a great time with her and my other cousin. We went to a family diner that my family use to go to all the ti...	Karilynn	4	643	Sep 1, 2010 by Andrea12
	Just want to whine... (Preview) I have a summer cold and a broken toe. My oldest daughter was committed yesterday and I have no intention of having her come back into my home. For those of you who know me you know of the ongoing chaos that has been surrounding her for years. This is her second commitment. She has been defiant and disr...	carolinagirl	7	688	Sep 1, 2010 by Loupiness
	Some gratitude creeping in....... (Preview) It's hard for me to feel gratitude as a general feeling because I'm angry, sad and frustrated about my marriage and how my wife's behavior negatively impacts my daughter, plus the fact that I'm pretty helpless to do anything about it. I can defend my daughter, thus causing a fight, which upsets my dau...	mjhyankees	5	673	Aug 31, 2010 by canadianguy
	How do you find happiness..... (Preview) I was wondering if people are finding happiness? I've come to the conclusion that's it's the bottom line for my life. I just want to feel happy and contented. I'm not asking for any particular "thing" out of life, just that feeling. As probably some can Identify with I've lived most of m...	mjhyankees	9	1756	Aug 31, 2010 by tlcate
	Advice for a mommy-to-be? (Preview) This is a pretty long one; but if you feel like reading it, I get to my point at the bottom. I'm so happy that I found al-anon. I have been trying SO hard to back off from trying to control my boyfriend's addiction. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and he relapsed July 1st. If I hadn't found you guys & al-anon, I wou...	susie56543	6	956	Aug 30, 2010 by susie56543
	Can there really be no hope for another human being? (Preview) It seems as though it's really harsh to say that another human being is "hopeless." However, I am truly starting to think there is no hope for my AH. He has been to countless rehabs, in various programs, numerous hospitals, has all the support he has needed and then some. However, he is still...	stopandchat	13	651	Aug 30, 2010 by Bettina
	a different trinitarian HP (Preview) I was wondering if any other newbies are having a little trouble getting used to the term 'HP'. I just say God, but I understand that this doesn't work for everyone. When I see 'HP' in a post I first think of Harry Potter, and then Hewlitt Packard	pax	5	816	Aug 30, 2010 by Bettina
	Hit between the eyes.... (Preview) I have to give credit to my therapist. I'm beginning to think my HP (I can't believe I'm saying this, given my moods recently but this board and program are infectious!) placed this particular person in my life because she is exactly what I need. She has a perky, upbeat, lively personality and seems ab...	mjhyankees	2	806	Aug 30, 2010 by tlcate
	I'm shocked !!! Had a wonderful camping trip!!! (Preview) I posted earlier that I was going camping and excpected hubby to either come home drunk or and show up on time. I told him we were leaving at 4pm with or without hime. The girls got the food ready while I was at work, got the trailer loaded. They sent me a text at 3pm as I was leaveing work and said Dad's home...	snodebb	7	779	Aug 30, 2010 by hotrod
	Deck update........ (Preview) I'm still working on my deck and I'm beginning to see parallels in this project to me, my attitudes and my life. I'm also beginning to think that my HP placed this project in front of me for a reason (there I go again...). Whether intentional on my HP's part or not, here is what I'm learning: 1. Patience fo...	mjhyankees	4	697	Aug 30, 2010 by Aloha
	He asked for forgiveness but we're at an impasse (Preview) I confronted dh on the beers I found out he drank while at dinner while traveling for business. He first lied and then admitted to it. We had a very long productive talk about my snooping, trust issues, promises made before we got married, our son, and our happiness. Basically, it came down to: he wan...	ilovedogs	14	837	Aug 30, 2010 by Aloha
	Tired of all this work. (Preview) Feeling down again...as my other post mentioned....but I'm also tired of working on myself. I've been in Therapy for 3 years in the past and 2 years currently. Did Alanon for 5 years in the past...I know I need to start up again but with my schedule and the fact that because I'm already out so much worki...	mjhyankees	15	977	Aug 30, 2010 by bcg
	camperama (Preview) I was going to respond to the camping post but decided to start a new topic on the subject. My AH and I spent the weekend at an AA/Alanon camperama. I just wanted to say that it was a great weekend! A lot of laughs, games, and fellowship. We had an open meeting on Saturday night around the campfire and it wa...	Sweet Stanley	0	523	Aug 30, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	feel ignored. (Preview) Have shared. Maybe paranoid however feel like not welcome. Told to go to f2f not always easy, am not looking for sympathy but answers and support just not feeling it. seems those that have been here a long time show interest only in new people. Told to go to Al Alon by therapist that it would help, am feeli...	kinker	9	676	Aug 30, 2010 by never going back
	Thank You (Preview) Thank you all for the wonderful and kind words you have given me after this horrible tragedy that happened in my home. We are all barely getting thru but we are. With Hope, Andrea	Andrea12	4	523	Aug 30, 2010 by Karilynn
	Can someone please explain Al-Anon to me in a nutshell? Preferably someone who's also in AA? (Preview) I attended a couple meetings last year but couldn't manage to wrap my poor newly sober brain around it. I'm thinking about going again now, because I view relationship issues as the biggest threat to my sobriety, my wife just went back out and spent the night at her boyfriend's house (see Charlie Brow...	FlyingSquirrel	11	2168	Aug 29, 2010 by mon123
	Bad choices (Preview) I grew up in a family that were severely mentally ill. There were no boundaries in that place, everything was a disaster and catastrophe ruled. My parents and indeed my siblings could not cope with day to day living so they didn't they merely survived it. Most of my life I have therefore been pretty &...	maresie	5	803	Aug 29, 2010 by maresie
	Old thinking (Preview) I got a call from my ex a little while ago. He says he's going out tonight and will pick up my 9 year old son in the morning for church, instead of picking him up tonight. Fine with me - I'd rather have my kid at home anyway! But I couldn't help thinking that I hope he doesn't get hurt tonight going out. He ha...	White Rabbit	2	694	Aug 29, 2010 by maresie
	when will I learn detachment? (Preview) Carol, alanon. From reading my last post and everyone's wonderful feedback ("I go thru enough at home"), I realize that I still determine my own worthiness or goodness by everyone else's behavior toward me. This undoubtedly came from living in an alcoholic household. When I don't satis...	Carol_Lynn	8	1162	Aug 29, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	the great silence (Preview) Has almost been two months since my children and I have seen my AH. It has been almost two weeks since we have "spoken" through text. We left back in November. I kept going back to his house to bring the kids for a visit because I felt responsible. Since my last visit to go see him I decided that I...	kath	5	826	Aug 29, 2010 by dragonflys
	I CAN'T WIN (Preview) Hi I have been writing here many times before since I joined Al-Anon in the end of April this year. And I always find that it helps me to make important choices in my life. I entered Al-Anon, still while being in the relationship with a girl in England (I am Norwegian, but study in England). She broke up w...	Cosmos	9	951	Aug 29, 2010 by DreamXL
	I snooped.....was that a bad thing? (Preview) After speaking to my dh about his drinking and hiding it, he acknowledged it and told me he'd not drink again. He seemed pretty sincere and things between us had been good since then. We took a mini family 3 day vacation last week and the 3 of us spend all 72 hrs together. We hiked, fished, and went drivi...	ilovedogs	19	816	Aug 29, 2010 by Bettina
	every time we plan something he comes home drunk!!!!!!!!!!1 (Preview) This is only my 2nd time posting. I AH has been drunk every night for the last 2 weeks and I mean super drunk, except for the weekend because we were camping and he doesnt drink if he is with us 24hrs. He drinks before he gets home at night or he hangs out in the garage and hides hes beer in there. The last time we...	snodebb	11	1086	Aug 29, 2010 by GailMichelle
	Fear of Intimacy and Fear of Failure (Preview) Hello Friends,I came to a huge realization today. I am an ACOA and not a "joiner" when it comes to groups (church, community activities, etc.). I often feel like I'm on the outside looking in on others having fun. My mom phoned me today and I told her I was at a quilt show. I have always want...	shellsea	5	1062	Aug 28, 2010 by shellsea
	AH relapsed today.... (Preview) I'm sad about it...he managed to stay sober for 9 months. I'm happy that he is not here at our home though. I don't know what's going to happen with him. If he manages to stop now, he may have a chance. If not, I believe he's going to kill himself. I did ask someone to go by the apartment he's living in to make su...	stopandchat	7	423	Aug 28, 2010 by fishinmama
	Easy to get down on myself.... (Preview) I'm working on my back deck, replacing the boards that are 20 years old, rotting etc. I've had so many problems and I feel pretty discouraged. For one thing I'm no carpenter and while I had some experience doing the front deck (which went way easier for a variety of reasons) it seems that the experienc...	mjhyankees	10	655	Aug 28, 2010 by maresie
	Hope (Preview) I have hope for a good afternoon and evening with my abf. I have hope that this weekend will go smoothly with him. I have hope that his HP will work in his life through my changes. I have hope that I will get myself to Alanon tonight while he goes to AA in the same building.... I have hope that I will make it t...	Maize	4	643	Aug 28, 2010 by mjhyankees
	please help! (Preview) My husband just finished 3 weeks of inpatient rehab for alcohol addiction. At the end of his first week there he wrote me a beutiful letter telling me how much he was learning and how he felt like he was coming to know himself better. He called and texted with me frequently throughout the day. Durin...	hope4me	12	852	Aug 27, 2010 by stopandchat
	Coping with small spaces... (Preview) I've been struggling lately to cope with living in a small space with my alcoholic. He relapsed about a month ago and has been on a binge ever since, and I'm struggling to maintain my serenity having him around drunk. We live in a very small one bed flat and can't afford another arrangement at the moment,...	js399964	5	544	Aug 27, 2010 by mon123
	f 2 f group problems. ESH needed (Preview) I can't believe i'm sharing this after replying to a similar thread a few days ago.I began a new group last year with a friend of mine. we live in a city and there was no city centre group. One closed a couple of years before we began this new one. I never went to the old one, so i don't know (except through rumo...	mon123	13	829	Aug 27, 2010 by mon123
	Life's too Short for Woulda/Coulda/shoulda... (Preview) How fast things can change.... Two Days ago... My Son (13) about caught the house on fire, he was smart enough to go for the extengusher, and save our home, however I could not get over what a HORRIBLE mistake he made, "Putting a Plastic Plate In the Toaster Over".... He is Generally an "...	Jozie	4	948	Aug 26, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Starting a new phase of this... (Preview) I used to be on here a lot at one time. I found my head was very cloudy and that I needed a break because I was having a hard time discerning what were the right choices for me and what were the right choices for others. I have been separated from my aH for nearly 2 years and I am ready to move on to divorce. Many...	Rora	4	721	Aug 26, 2010 by Rora
	i go thru enough at home! (Preview) Hi, it's Carol. I had an awful night. I had gone to a face to face alanon meeting last night. Had a horrible experience there. I was five minutes early and walked into the room. There, I realized that although the secretary was there, the literature had not been put out yet. I wasn't sure if there was go...	Carol_Lynn	9	1064	Aug 26, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Something to live for......????? (Preview) Had this somewhat depressing thought yesterday and it's stuck with me....I feel like I have nothing to live for......now I'm not suicidal so don't anyone panic....but I feel like I just go through the motions each day. Even when doing things I like (cooking, playing guitar etc.) the good feelings l...	mjhyankees	6	702	Aug 26, 2010 by maresie
	September & reality hits (Preview) It's been a great summer, just working and being lazy and now it's almost over. Full time hours, 12 credits and moving the business to a new location ... all by January LOL What the heck was I thinking? I am really not projecting but am facing and accepting reality that my time for next 5 months is no longer...	Jennifer	4	589	Aug 26, 2010 by Jennifer
	Expectations=Resentment (Preview) I have learned this week that when I expect something from someone or expect someone to do something (or not do something) it ends up that I don't get what I expect. I then get resentful. I have figured out that I need to say what I mean and mean what I say in every situation (and not say it mean). I am not th...	Maize	12	1695	Aug 26, 2010 by Maize
	RELAPSED After 7 months (Preview) Hello everyone... I haven't been in touch for 6 months because my A SON was in treatment... I have kept with the program in the process..... My reason for writting is, My A SON has relapsed after almost 7 months sober... He was to graduate from his program in 2 weeks... (SALVATION ARMY) Jayson (my...	moonchild	9	760	Aug 26, 2010 by Greenvalleygal
	Day 1 at Al-Anon (Preview) Hi, I'm new to Al-Anon, I just found out about it yesterday and found a meeting. It was not what I expected, I kind of just hoped to slip into the back of the room and quietly listen. The room was small and only about 12 or 15 people were there and everyone was sitting in a circle, I was overwhelmed with emoti...	CarrieLynette	14	566	Aug 26, 2010 by applecake
	Home... ???? (Preview) This was in one of my Daily readings and it was stated that "HOME" was my "Anchor, my Haven, my Safety, I was untrapped....." Well I have to say this one I can not say... Anchor... We Moved 11 times in 10 Years around 20 by the time I was 23, Haven..... When I picture I a Haven, Sorry to s...	Jozie	3	714	Aug 25, 2010 by maresie
	I feel like just walking away... (Preview) Hi all, I posted a few weeks ago that my 8 months sober AH moved out of our home when I was at work. He rented an apartment, and said that he needed to find some independence, get a sponsor, and start working the steps and his program. He said that his moving out had nothing to do with me. I had a very hard time no...	stopandchat	5	748	Aug 25, 2010 by mjhyankees
	winds of change (Preview) I haven't visited this site or read any Al-Anon literature nearly all week. And as a result this has been an emotional week for me. I'm feeling stressed about the direction my life is going right now. I guess really the lack of direction. I am in this weird place of transitioning from one way of livi...	nh girl	5	552	Aug 25, 2010 by CarrieLynette
	just a short comment on Today's reading! (Preview) anger: a dubious luxury I can't afford! I am one of those that are mentioned when dealing with anger although I am working on it! I also had trouble w/ my pet! I almost lost it almost 2 years ago when my cat destroyed an area of my home--long story! anyhow, I am working on the profanity that I mentioned bef...	Hoot Nanny	3	714	Aug 25, 2010 by Maize
	Another senseless Death (Preview) (((((((((Friends))))))))), Well this was a weekend from hell in my home. My son lost another good friend. Saturday evening one of my son's friends came over and was a little wasted. He asked if he could stay I said, sure....next thing I knew he was passed out in the chair.....was sitting in the othe...	Andrea12	24	1352	Aug 25, 2010 by moonchild
	Hopelessly Devoted or Hopelessly Stupid? (Preview) It's been several months since I've been here. Since that time, I moved out from living with my ABF, have had times of "no contact" recommended by a church counselor - which one of us always broke to the point it was useless...After one particularly hurtful incident, I even changed my phon...	Love Always Hopes	10	813	Aug 24, 2010 by stopandchat
	I'm FREEEEEE! (Preview) No longer seeing the A-bf... woot-woot! I feel so free! He has been gone (mentally, spiritually) for a long, long time. During our last months together I found myself getting angrier and angrier just being in his presence (or even hearing his voice on the phone). I figured out why I was angry. He ne...	ESH	15	607	Aug 24, 2010 by ESH
	Broken hearted (again) (Preview) So, tomorrow is his birthday. We were going to go out tonight after work (he works for me) to celebrate. About a half hour before we were going to leave, he was hyper and animated and over-the-top -- I strongly suspect (though I cannot prove) that he had grabbed "just one drink." He wanted t...	Sara Tamar	5	783	Aug 24, 2010 by stopandchat
	Feeling lost. (Preview) I think my husband may have a problem. We have been married for 6 1/2 yrs and we have two children. When he was younger, he got into a lot of trouble because of alcohol. He has two DWIs and an MIP from before I met him. For years, we never drank at all. Within the past two years, we both started drinking sociall...	melanie2590	8	812	Aug 24, 2010 by stopandchat
	Tried Hard..... (Preview) but with no success . I got him into the car, but once I explained to him that I wanted to take him somewhere so that he could "rest" and receive regular meals, and get him some decent clothes, it was on. He became belligerent, to the point of opening the car door with us going down the highway doi...	DreamsOver	9	882	Aug 24, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	Who do you invite into your life? (Preview) This weekend I read a book on assessing people before you let them into your life. The topic was actually depression which the author saw as a relational issue rather than a physical one. That brought me to thinking do I carry on with people who press the boundary all the time. I have an acqautance (at...	maresie	6	834	Aug 24, 2010 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.