Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

So my Abf-sober has gotten a sponsor and spends every night out with them. Leaves for a meeting an hour before it begins and then doesn't come in before midnight. He used to let me know when he would be going out after a meeting so I wouldn't worry. That has stopped. I'm sure it's normal to spend 4-5 hou...

stopandchat · stopandchat

I'm falling back into old, very bad habits. Namely, trying to save my AH. It's a bit of a paradox, because, I know that I just can't live with an active alcoholic anymore and that I am going to divorce him as soon as I get moved and have some extra money to file. On the other hand, I'm just so afraid he's going t...

kablisnow · kablisnow

I have been sick for awhile now and b/c his rehab and car accident tickets recently we have not had the money for me to take care of some issues I am b/c ... so I have been pretty under the weather these days. Ofcourse he nevers ask if Im ok or if I need something, just claims he doesnt understand. Almost as I a...

PAH123 · PAH123

Had a long talk with my AH today and it really feels, as much as I wanted to try to make things work, that it's over. Too much water under the bridge and I feel, a lack of enthusiasm when it comes to making the huge changes that need to be made in order for out marriage to survive. All I get is "I'll do my bes...

Lem · Lem

Hi Folks, Awhile back I posted and someone replied with information on how to look into getting a sponsor on-line. I'm having some trouble finding that information right now (I'm tired and can't remember the date.) Can someone please tell me what to do? I appreciate everyone. I hope that you al...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

This morning my wife got on my daughter's case...she wanted my daughter to eat fruit with breakfast and when my daughter ate a delmonte fruit cup my wife said "that's not real fruit you have to eat something else...." This is the type of thing that I will defend my daughter about. I told me...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Talked to therapist about transference issues I was having...basically she's the only woman I can remember that treated me well...... She was amazing...we discussed transference issue in depth...she assured me that she wouldn't abandon me and that we could use this to further my recovery....an...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been experiencing a lot of depression about spending the rest of my life not ever having children. I have so many regrets in life but the biggest one is not being able to have a child who could be I feel the reason why I am here. Does that make sense to anyone? I know that I could've loved a child & b...

maresie · maresie

The dance with the ex A was a very consuming one and on many levels I will be dealing with the after effects of that dance for a long long time to come. Nevertheless, on some level with my family, friends and other people I've been on that dance all my life, its familiar I know the roles and it feels like &quo...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Well here it is Sat. nite. I have had my 7 yr old grandaughter with me since Wed. I`am trying really hard to work the program and be a somewhat healthy person in this child`s life since she really hasn`t any other adults around. Tonight I kinda lost it when she started to tell me about her mother and how fa...

suzip · suzip

I am soooo looking forward to my face 2 face meeting tonight. Wasnt able to go last week unfortunately and really needed it. Sometimes as much as I want to stay positive and take each day as it comes, its a struggle. It is so helpful to get to that room and know that I am not the only one dealing with this rolle...

Maize · Maize

I started last Monday with terrible pains in my stomach on the lower right side. My abf, kids and I had just taken a nice walk in the woods on a trail. We got home and wham! My bf was the one that talked me into going to the hospital. While there, they discovered not appendicitis like we first thought but...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((((Friends)))))))))))), Ok, off the pitty pot took a minute. Now I am mad....and when I am mad move over...... I am mad at the evil people out there and I will not allow them to hurt me or my children anymore. If I have to I will just keep filing charges....they will get tired of paying a magistr...

Sanity in the making · Sanity in the making

I have been in Alanon for a few 24 hours. The A and I were doing "the deal" together at one point, but, at some point she turned her back on AA and has been "white knuckling" it for more than two years now. As the disease is progressive so is the behavior without active recovery. Sh...

LarryWhiteford · LarryWhiteford

anyone else having trouble?

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Came in from work today - had a conversation with AH about what the doctor had said when he went yesterday - he was giving me positive feedback and I said I was pleased he was making an effort. For those who haven't read any of my previous posts AH has been very ill and hospitalized with the effects of drink...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Hi ! Iam having trouble getting into meetings John. Can you help me? I downloaded a new version of Java as was suggested by someone somewhere. Still I keep haveing an error message. Thanks, Rosanne

Samsgram · Samsgram

I have been trying for a month. I keep trying to download differrent versions of Java. My computer is fairly new and I`am so not Tech Savy. Can anyone help me here?

DreamXL · DreamXL

I just feel compelled to post today :) My brother who is 41 years old has been alchol and drug free for 7 weeks now. He has used since he was 15. I swear if I didnt have 20 plus years of evidence to snap me into reality I would question him even being an addict. His wife who being an acoa herself finally spok...

tlcate · tlcate

Ever see the train of insanity heading down the tracks and it is your face on the engine? No one else to blame and you can't seem to get out of your own way? I have been sick for about a month. Kept going, been out having a lot of summer fun, trying to buy my first house, trying to take care of myself and everyt...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am always in a hurry(like right now)! I wish I would slow down more! At home I am able to actually sit down & enjoy life but it seems like I am always bouncing off the walls! I often run into things too! That's my daily grind. I am so grateful that I can sit down here & make some sense of my otherwise...

Julia · Julia

Intimacy in a marriage with an alcoholic husband...aaaahhhh! He's rarely able and when he is, he expects me to hop to it. I view him as another child in my household, not even a man, much less a sexually attractive man. I'm here for my children. I've worked through a lot via Alanon, but don't know ho...

kath · kath

I am standing up for what i believe in when I set boundaries with my AH. It is confusing because what I used to allow, I don't allow him to do anymore. One particular situation I am dealing with is the fact that he wants to keep our daughter while I go to school. I used to let him keep her, then I realized that he...

MalinoisMaiden · MalinoisMaiden

Hi, I am not really sure where to start so i think i just will at the beginning. My father became an alcoholic in 1999 when i was 11, i am 22 now. It was after an attack and hijacking he suffered whilst he was working as a taxi driver. It left him unable to work and he hasn't since. His drink of choice was always w...

Julia · Julia

I'm relatively new to understanding this illness (although I've been living with it for 25 years). And, of course, it's just getting worse daily. Something I've noticed, and has been mentioned in this forum, is a decreased interest in appearance/hygiene. Along those lines, I've noticed an odo...

LonelyWife · LonelyWife

My AH voluntarily checked into an inpatient detox/rehab program today where he will be for approx the next week. Do I dare hope he decided to do this because he found his "bottom"? He has nearly, but not completely, lost me/kids. He has not lost a job, gotten arrested, or been in a wreck....

movinforward · movinforward

I have posted only once to this board and am not sure my situation fits with or "qualifies" as al-anon. While my wife may abuse alcohol (as do I and I am beginning to understand the affect this may be having on our relationship) I don't know that she is an alcoholic or that our problems come ...

kath · kath

My AH wanted to come to our home next week and I told him I was not ready to see him. I have three tests next week and work on tuesday, teaching wed night class, and taking care of my three girls. Our anniversary is Tuesday. He texted me practically demanding that I leave our daughter with him while I go to sch...

kath · kath

This week has been crazy. Today I have taken every thought that was negative, fearful, etc. to my HP. I have stepped out on a limb and it is really scary sometimes. I am going to college for the first time in six years to finish my degree. It is tough. I am separated from my AH. I talked to him today. He called....

maire rua · maire rua

I am sick of all the upset and drama. This week, which was exceptionally long and tiring for me, left me very tired tonight. Ex-A comes in from pub and throws a wobbly about the boys playing video games upstairs. He can't sleep, so he's disappeared over to his hovel down the road. I am handing it over. I kno...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), On this day may we never forget the loved ones lost, the first responders and those Alanon family members that are hurting. May we remember those serving in our military & their families. May we practice love, patience and tolerance so that we honor those who lost their lives on...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

I talked my son into going to a rehab program after his court apperance yesterday, I told him as long as he stayed in rehab (it's a Celebrate Recovery associated) and work the program I would help with the fine, but if he didn't I wouldn't pay and the police will picked him up he would just go to jail....

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((Friends)))))))), We live in a world filled with hate and mean people. I never realized this until this young man passed away in my home. Don't misunderstand me, I have seen mean and unforgiving people in my lifetime but this is something I never thought I would see. Since this episode I for t...

weggie · weggie

Well, I can't believe I am going over this same mountain, over, and over again. When will I wake up and leave him. My A had a bout again on Wed night. He came home drunk and said some horrible things to me. So horrible that whenever I think about them I tear up. Work and the Lord are my salvation and stre...

Katy · Katy

Hello Mip, it's been one month since our 19 year old son left our home, we have had intermitten contact with him,and his life now, is a far cry from the one he left us for, he's dirty, drunk and and has taken a few beatings the last few weeks, he tells us though he is happy, he has had his phone stolen from him b...

gailsox · gailsox

Hi, I have been in Al-Anon for over a year and I just finished my 4th step in "Paths to Recovery". I will be starting in the "BluePrint for Progress" this week. What I need help on is seeing my Self-Pity... I did not think I had it, but I am finding I do. I can not see it clearly YET... I kn...

worriedbout · worriedbout

how will alon help me to help my alcohlic husband?

Cloudsea · Cloudsea

Hi, Everybody: I just joined this forum yesterday. I have been married to a guy for 22 years who just this summer realized he is an A. We have two great kids, 10 & 14. After a 5-week treatment program, he now attends AA and has been sober two months. I have been to about 5-6 Al Anon meetings and am read...

kath · kath

I am familiar with dealing with my ah when i am angry with him, when we are not speaking, and have come here to vent my frustrations. I have received some good suggestions on how to relate. I am now wondering how to relate to my ah when we are speaking and being kind to each other. I used to run to him ( we are se...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I've complained enough about the wife and I guess I don't have to "make everyone understand"....so how about me? What are my flaws, issues and negative characteristics???? I have to be careful here because as my therapist points out, I'm really good at beating myself up...but I think I c...

PAH123 · PAH123

So far, I feel like all roads lead to "EXA" and I would love to hear some stories from those of you who remain married to an A and have made it work through recovery. If this is you, please let me know how you are able to work through the resentment that your spouses disease has now made you sick. ...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Rwandan Proverb: "If you are building a house and a nail breaks, do you stop building or change the nail?" When something happens that throws off our recovery do we give up? Do we stop and do nothing? Or do we change course? Do we try something new? When we find a meeting that we don't like...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

She's coming home from school (taking classes) and calls me. I'm cooking eggplant for dinner, my daughter requested it. My wife says "we had eggplant last week, I don't want it again (???)!" She then asks me to order out for her at applebees and she'll pick it up....so, I don't really car...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Random thoughts: I've never felt so alone and so sad as I feel at this time in my life. The dispare that surrounds the parents of addicts and alcololics invades every aspect of the persons life. I've come to realize my words have no affect on the child I once knew, as they no longer reside within the body of...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok, So I have been Praying on this, and I just can't step back far enough to really listen, and that is the "Just" of it really... Most know I have an entire family of "A's" and one is my older Sister, Now I love her, However... She isn't always easy to love... She is 4 years older then m...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I don't get it. I thought recovery was a good thing. But now somehow I'M the bad guy, I'm the one that brings chaos into his life and "he can't live like this in recovery" now, I know quite a few folks in a program, be it AA, NA, etc and one thing I've never heard any of them say is "this or...

Goodtillitsbad · Goodtillitsbad

Thank god (or my HP as they say) for this program. Everyday I need to use a tool from this program. I am hundreds of miles away from my AH right now for work. He has been out of the house (per my request cuz of his drinking) for 6 months now. I have been very good about not asking about his recovery/relapse/cur...

Lizz · Lizz

Has anybody heard of this? My exABF had a rash on his stomach that wouldnt go away..I think it may be Psuedo Cushing Disease which can be caused by alcoholism.

Rora · Rora

I've had some time to absorb the latest hurt of the exaH being that he decided he would no longer have anything to do with our son. On one hand this is painful and left me distraught for a period of time. Now, I wonder if it isn't for the better right now? Since this time I feel nothing but compassion and sor...

Bambina10 · Bambina10

I'm new to Al Anon. No experience with alcoholism before. My AH just graduated from a rehab program and goes to AA meetings. Married approx 6 months ago, he did a good job at hidding how serious the alcohol issue was.. Gradually it became very obvious, going as far as sleeping in his truck for 3 days i...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Someone suggested this to me...you know who you are!!!!! I gave it some thought and I'm sorry to say I can't come up with much. She's caused a lot of pain and suffering for me and my daughter due to not dealing with her issues....and she's not an alcoholic or even much of a drinker at all...rarely in fact....

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I still cant' believe in a higher power that magically makes things happen in my life...or allows bad things to happen to me or others.....I'm not sure he answers prayers because many of mine went unanswered and If he has a will and a plan...what's the point of praying for anthing????? What I can believ...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I know I`am suppose to mind my own business "but".. I`am very upset with my daughter`s behavior and how it may be affecting her 7 year old daughter. She is getting older now and people around her apartment complex are talking about her (my daughter) and they are also talking about her athe th...

jettiesgirl · jettiesgirl

I've posted a couple of times before. ABF went to detox a few months ago. When he got back, he moved in with his friend. He didn't follow up with any outpatient treatment, AA meetings, nothing. So, of course, he went right back to drinking. I lived my life, had my sister and her friends come to visit. He was...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Picked up my AH from a 5 day detox yesterday (relapsed after 9 months sober), and he is now drunk as we speak having drank a fifth and a half of vodka since yesterday evening. I was just reading a thread about staying with an A - I have decided that I can no longer do that. I have already consulted an attorney a...

casa · casa

Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. August minutes were approved. First item: Meeting schedule. AM MON shimo TUES OPEN WED Iona THURS OPEN FRI Blendergirl SAT OPEN sUN (Spiritual) OPEN PM MON OPEN TUES casa WEDS kerisha THURS (Step/tradition) courage FRI OPEN SAT (Beg...

suzip · suzip

Got a call yesterday in the afternoon from a man telling me my daughter was in an accident and I needed to come right away. He said she was ok, cuts and bruises, just scared to death. Totally her fault, she's just 17 and driving for 7 months, and she is feeling horrible physically and emotionally. Thank G...

PAH123 · PAH123

As I mentioned in my original post, my husband travels frequently for work. When he is home, I don't worry as much about drinking as he is in meetings almost daily and doesn't, but when he is gone, I have found out by his own confession that he used that time to indulge himself in a few beverages. He says he...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

-Spent ten years with my AH while he drank excessively and did pretty much nothing to contribute to the running of the household. He worked and brought home a paycheck, but did very little childcare, no housework, no handyman work, etc. I did it all (as well as bring in a paycheck). -Presently he is on si...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Once again thank you every one. It was suggested for me to post a gratitude list...I will do that in a moment. I also had 2 insights yesterday that I think are important and I want to share: 1) As I spent the day with my daughter, who is just a joy (9 years old) it occurred to me that I was feeling if not unhapp...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Point of no return... (Preview) So my Abf-sober has gotten a sponsor and spends every night out with them. Leaves for a meeting an hour before it begins and then doesn't come in before midnight. He used to let me know when he would be going out after a meeting so I wouldn't worry. That has stopped. I'm sure it's normal to spend 4-5 hou...	lizzakiss	6	927	Sep 14, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Going to a meeting tonight and I desperately need it!!! (Preview) I'm falling back into old, very bad habits. Namely, trying to save my AH. It's a bit of a paradox, because, I know that I just can't live with an active alcoholic anymore and that I am going to divorce him as soon as I get moved and have some extra money to file. On the other hand, I'm just so afraid he's going t...	stopandchat	5	758	Sep 14, 2010 by xeno59
	Today was so typical, why am I so upset (Preview) I have been sick for awhile now and b/c his rehab and car accident tickets recently we have not had the money for me to take care of some issues I am b/c ... so I have been pretty under the weather these days. Ofcourse he nevers ask if Im ok or if I need something, just claims he doesnt understand. Almost as I a...	kablisnow	5	672	Sep 14, 2010 by maresie
	I think it's over (Preview) Had a long talk with my AH today and it really feels, as much as I wanted to try to make things work, that it's over. Too much water under the bridge and I feel, a lack of enthusiasm when it comes to making the huge changes that need to be made in order for out marriage to survive. All I get is "I'll do my bes...	PAH123	14	1317	Sep 14, 2010 by PAH123
	Need a sponsor. (Preview) Hi Folks, Awhile back I posted and someone replied with information on how to look into getting a sponsor on-line. I'm having some trouble finding that information right now (I'm tired and can't remember the date.) Can someone please tell me what to do? I appreciate everyone. I hope that you al...	Lem	2	649	Sep 14, 2010 by DreamXL
	I tried walking away.... (Preview) This morning my wife got on my daughter's case...she wanted my daughter to eat fruit with breakfast and when my daughter ate a delmonte fruit cup my wife said "that's not real fruit you have to eat something else...." This is the type of thing that I will defend my daughter about. I told me...	mjhyankees	15	1060	Sep 13, 2010 by mjhyankees
	wow...do I have a great therapist...I'm so thankful........ (Preview) Talked to therapist about transference issues I was having...basically she's the only woman I can remember that treated me well...... She was amazing...we discussed transference issue in depth...she assured me that she wouldn't abandon me and that we could use this to further my recovery....an...	mjhyankees	8	646	Sep 13, 2010 by mjhyankees
	life w/o children (Preview) I have been experiencing a lot of depression about spending the rest of my life not ever having children. I have so many regrets in life but the biggest one is not being able to have a child who could be I feel the reason why I am here. Does that make sense to anyone? I know that I could've loved a child & b...	Hoot Nanny	3	738	Sep 13, 2010 by mjhyankees
	patterns of behavior (Preview) The dance with the ex A was a very consuming one and on many levels I will be dealing with the after effects of that dance for a long long time to come. Nevertheless, on some level with my family, friends and other people I've been on that dance all my life, its familiar I know the roles and it feels like &quo...	maresie	6	1208	Sep 13, 2010 by maresie
	Not Sure What To Do... (Preview) Well here it is Sat. nite. I have had my 7 yr old grandaughter with me since Wed. I`am trying really hard to work the program and be a somewhat healthy person in this child`s life since she really hasn`t any other adults around. Tonight I kinda lost it when she started to tell me about her mother and how fa...	Samsgram	6	1144	Sep 13, 2010 by jobe
	face to face (Preview) I am soooo looking forward to my face 2 face meeting tonight. Wasnt able to go last week unfortunately and really needed it. Sometimes as much as I want to stay positive and take each day as it comes, its a struggle. It is so helpful to get to that room and know that I am not the only one dealing with this rolle...	suzip	3	821	Sep 13, 2010 by Jozie
	Been terribly ill.... (Preview) I started last Monday with terrible pains in my stomach on the lower right side. My abf, kids and I had just taken a nice walk in the woods on a trail. We got home and wham! My bf was the one that talked me into going to the hospital. While there, they discovered not appendicitis like we first thought but...	Maize	5	740	Sep 13, 2010 by Maize
	From being afraid to being angry (Preview) (((((((((((Friends)))))))))))), Ok, off the pitty pot took a minute. Now I am mad....and when I am mad move over...... I am mad at the evil people out there and I will not allow them to hurt me or my children anymore. If I have to I will just keep filing charges....they will get tired of paying a magistr...	Andrea12	11	1025	Sep 13, 2010 by tlcate
	Living with a Dry Drunk is sooooo hard!!! (Preview) I have been in Alanon for a few 24 hours. The A and I were doing "the deal" together at one point, but, at some point she turned her back on AA and has been "white knuckling" it for more than two years now. As the disease is progressive so is the behavior without active recovery. Sh...	Sanity in the making	9	1322	Sep 12, 2010 by buick23
	Chat Room Java is it down? Can't get into the chatroom (Preview) anyone else having trouble?	LarryWhiteford	2	755	Sep 12, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Why do I keep expecting change? (Preview) Came in from work today - had a conversation with AH about what the doctor had said when he went yesterday - he was giving me positive feedback and I said I was pleased he was making an effort. For those who haven't read any of my previous posts AH has been very ill and hospitalized with the effects of drink...	Tattyhead	6	919	Sep 12, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Cant get into Meetings Can you Help? (Preview) Hi ! Iam having trouble getting into meetings John. Can you help me? I downloaded a new version of Java as was suggested by someone somewhere. Still I keep haveing an error message. Thanks, Rosanne	Samsgram	2	669	Sep 12, 2010 by Samsgram
	Can`t Get Into Meetings (Preview) I have been trying for a month. I keep trying to download differrent versions of Java. My computer is fairly new and I`am so not Tech Savy. Can anyone help me here?	Samsgram	0	504	Sep 12, 2010 by Samsgram
	Miracles (Preview) I just feel compelled to post today :) My brother who is 41 years old has been alchol and drug free for 7 weeks now. He has used since he was 15. I swear if I didnt have 20 plus years of evidence to snap me into reality I would question him even being an addict. His wife who being an acoa herself finally spok...	DreamXL	6	1317	Sep 12, 2010 by DreamXL
	My Own Addiction (Preview) Ever see the train of insanity heading down the tracks and it is your face on the engine? No one else to blame and you can't seem to get out of your own way? I have been sick for about a month. Kept going, been out having a lot of summer fun, trying to buy my first house, trying to take care of myself and everyt...	tlcate	10	1023	Sep 12, 2010 by Karilynn
	ALWAYS IN A HURRY! (Preview) I am always in a hurry(like right now)! I wish I would slow down more! At home I am able to actually sit down & enjoy life but it seems like I am always bouncing off the walls! I often run into things too! That's my daily grind. I am so grateful that I can sit down here & make some sense of my otherwise...	Hoot Nanny	4	775	Sep 12, 2010 by Lem
	Physical intimacy in a marriage with an alcoholic (Preview) Intimacy in a marriage with an alcoholic husband...aaaahhhh! He's rarely able and when he is, he expects me to hop to it. I view him as another child in my household, not even a man, much less a sexually attractive man. I'm here for my children. I've worked through a lot via Alanon, but don't know ho...	Julia	10	9399	Sep 12, 2010 by Omega Man
	what used to be (Preview) I am standing up for what i believe in when I set boundaries with my AH. It is confusing because what I used to allow, I don't allow him to do anymore. One particular situation I am dealing with is the fact that he wants to keep our daughter while I go to school. I used to let him keep her, then I realized that he...	kath	7	689	Sep 12, 2010 by abbyal
	New Member - Alcoholic Father - Very Long Post (Preview) Hi, I am not really sure where to start so i think i just will at the beginning. My father became an alcoholic in 1999 when i was 11, i am 22 now. It was after an attack and hijacking he suffered whilst he was working as a taxi driver. It left him unable to work and he hasn't since. His drink of choice was always w...	MalinoisMaiden	5	1854	Sep 11, 2010 by MalinoisMaiden
	Alcoholics and Hygiene (Preview) I'm relatively new to understanding this illness (although I've been living with it for 25 years). And, of course, it's just getting worse daily. Something I've noticed, and has been mentioned in this forum, is a decreased interest in appearance/hygiene. Along those lines, I've noticed an odo...	Julia	8	5268	Sep 11, 2010 by stopandchat
	Checked in to rehab. What now? (Preview) My AH voluntarily checked into an inpatient detox/rehab program today where he will be for approx the next week. Do I dare hope he decided to do this because he found his "bottom"? He has nearly, but not completely, lost me/kids. He has not lost a job, gotten arrested, or been in a wreck....	LonelyWife	10	944	Sep 11, 2010 by stopandchat
	Can I be here? (Preview) I have posted only once to this board and am not sure my situation fits with or "qualifies" as al-anon. While my wife may abuse alcohol (as do I and I am beginning to understand the affect this may be having on our relationship) I don't know that she is an alcoholic or that our problems come ...	movinforward	5	790	Sep 11, 2010 by xeno59
	Last night (Preview) My AH wanted to come to our home next week and I told him I was not ready to see him. I have three tests next week and work on tuesday, teaching wed night class, and taking care of my three girls. Our anniversary is Tuesday. He texted me practically demanding that I leave our daughter with him while I go to sch...	kath	5	665	Sep 11, 2010 by maresie
	just checking in (Preview) This week has been crazy. Today I have taken every thought that was negative, fearful, etc. to my HP. I have stepped out on a limb and it is really scary sometimes. I am going to college for the first time in six years to finish my degree. It is tough. I am separated from my AH. I talked to him today. He called....	kath	4	668	Sep 11, 2010 by maresie
	Upset and drama (Preview) I am sick of all the upset and drama. This week, which was exceptionally long and tiring for me, left me very tired tonight. Ex-A comes in from pub and throws a wobbly about the boys playing video games upstairs. He can't sleep, so he's disappeared over to his hovel down the road. I am handing it over. I kno...	maire rua	4	894	Sep 11, 2010 by maresie
	Never forget... (Preview) ((((Family))), On this day may we never forget the loved ones lost, the first responders and those Alanon family members that are hurting. May we remember those serving in our military & their families. May we practice love, patience and tolerance so that we honor those who lost their lives on...	Karilynn	3	706	Sep 11, 2010 by Bettina
	Coming Undone.... (Preview) I talked my son into going to a rehab program after his court apperance yesterday, I told him as long as he stayed in rehab (it's a Celebrate Recovery associated) and work the program I would help with the fine, but if he didn't I wouldn't pay and the police will picked him up he would just go to jail....	DreamsOver	7	540	Sep 11, 2010 by Andrea12
	I Am Afraid!!!!!!!! (Preview) (((((((((Friends)))))))), We live in a world filled with hate and mean people. I never realized this until this young man passed away in my home. Don't misunderstand me, I have seen mean and unforgiving people in my lifetime but this is something I never thought I would see. Since this episode I for t...	Andrea12	16	948	Sep 11, 2010 by Karilynn
	Again (Preview) Well, I can't believe I am going over this same mountain, over, and over again. When will I wake up and leave him. My A had a bout again on Wed night. He came home drunk and said some horrible things to me. So horrible that whenever I think about them I tear up. Work and the Lord are my salvation and stre...	weggie	5	655	Sep 10, 2010 by Jerry F
	dyslexhia, aspergers, and alcholism? (Preview) Hello Mip, it's been one month since our 19 year old son left our home, we have had intermitten contact with him,and his life now, is a far cry from the one he left us for, he's dirty, drunk and and has taken a few beatings the last few weeks, he tells us though he is happy, he has had his phone stolen from him b...	Katy	4	920	Sep 10, 2010 by lyndebi
	Symptoms of Self Pity (Preview) Hi, I have been in Al-Anon for over a year and I just finished my 4th step in "Paths to Recovery". I will be starting in the "BluePrint for Progress" this week. What I need help on is seeing my Self-Pity... I did not think I had it, but I am finding I do. I can not see it clearly YET... I kn...	gailsox	4	5625	Sep 10, 2010 by maresie
	confused (Preview) how will alon help me to help my alcohlic husband?	worriedbout	4	800	Sep 10, 2010 by abbyal
	Baby steps away from insanity to recovery (Preview) Hi, Everybody: I just joined this forum yesterday. I have been married to a guy for 22 years who just this summer realized he is an A. We have two great kids, 10 & 14. After a 5-week treatment program, he now attends AA and has been sober two months. I have been to about 5-6 Al Anon meetings and am read...	Cloudsea	9	1043	Sep 10, 2010 by Mattie
	suggestions? (Preview) I am familiar with dealing with my ah when i am angry with him, when we are not speaking, and have come here to vent my frustrations. I have received some good suggestions on how to relate. I am now wondering how to relate to my ah when we are speaking and being kind to each other. I used to run to him ( we are se...	kath	5	1059	Sep 10, 2010 by kitty
	Working on me.... (Preview) I've complained enough about the wife and I guess I don't have to "make everyone understand"....so how about me? What are my flaws, issues and negative characteristics???? I have to be careful here because as my therapist points out, I'm really good at beating myself up...but I think I c...	mjhyankees	6	804	Sep 10, 2010 by xeno59
	Anyone who has stayed in a marriage with their A please post. (Preview) So far, I feel like all roads lead to "EXA" and I would love to hear some stories from those of you who remain married to an A and have made it work through recovery. If this is you, please let me know how you are able to work through the resentment that your spouses disease has now made you sick. ...	PAH123	27	1627	Sep 10, 2010 by weggie
	Choices (Preview) Rwandan Proverb: "If you are building a house and a nail breaks, do you stop building or change the nail?" When something happens that throws off our recovery do we give up? Do we stop and do nothing? Or do we change course? Do we try something new? When we find a meeting that we don't like...	Karilynn	7	831	Sep 10, 2010 by Christy
	Typical night with the wife.... (Preview) She's coming home from school (taking classes) and calls me. I'm cooking eggplant for dinner, my daughter requested it. My wife says "we had eggplant last week, I don't want it again (???)!" She then asks me to order out for her at applebees and she'll pick it up....so, I don't really car...	mjhyankees	18	872	Sep 9, 2010 by Christy
	The Parents that loved them (Preview) Random thoughts: I've never felt so alone and so sad as I feel at this time in my life. The dispare that surrounds the parents of addicts and alcololics invades every aspect of the persons life. I've come to realize my words have no affect on the child I once knew, as they no longer reside within the body of...	Peggy7	13	1038	Sep 9, 2010 by Samsgram
	Augghhh ASister.... (Preview) Ok, So I have been Praying on this, and I just can't step back far enough to really listen, and that is the "Just" of it really... Most know I have an entire family of "A's" and one is my older Sister, Now I love her, However... She isn't always easy to love... She is 4 years older then m...	Jozie	1	705	Sep 9, 2010 by Jerry F
	He's in "recovery" and now I'M the chaotic one???? (Preview) I don't get it. I thought recovery was a good thing. But now somehow I'M the bad guy, I'm the one that brings chaos into his life and "he can't live like this in recovery" now, I know quite a few folks in a program, be it AA, NA, etc and one thing I've never heard any of them say is "this or...	lizzakiss	5	798	Sep 9, 2010 by Cloudsea
	It's Me (not my qualifier) :-P (Preview) Thank god (or my HP as they say) for this program. Everyday I need to use a tool from this program. I am hundreds of miles away from my AH right now for work. He has been out of the house (per my request cuz of his drinking) for 6 months now. I have been very good about not asking about his recovery/relapse/cur...	Goodtillitsbad	6	815	Sep 9, 2010 by xeno59
	Psuedo Cushing Disease (Preview) Has anybody heard of this? My exABF had a rash on his stomach that wouldnt go away..I think it may be Psuedo Cushing Disease which can be caused by alcoholism.	Lizz	3	582	Sep 9, 2010 by bud
	It's just the way it is (Preview) I've had some time to absorb the latest hurt of the exaH being that he decided he would no longer have anything to do with our son. On one hand this is painful and left me distraught for a period of time. Now, I wonder if it isn't for the better right now? Since this time I feel nothing but compassion and sor...	Rora	5	892	Sep 9, 2010 by Karilynn
	THE COLLATERAL DAMAGE SCARES ME.. (Preview) I'm new to Al Anon. No experience with alcoholism before. My AH just graduated from a rehab program and goes to AA meetings. Married approx 6 months ago, he did a good job at hidding how serious the alcohol issue was.. Gradually it became very obvious, going as far as sleeping in his truck for 3 days i...	Bambina10	12	848	Sep 9, 2010 by Christy
	gratitude list for wife?????!!!!?????? (Preview) Someone suggested this to me...you know who you are!!!!! I gave it some thought and I'm sorry to say I can't come up with much. She's caused a lot of pain and suffering for me and my daughter due to not dealing with her issues....and she's not an alcoholic or even much of a drinker at all...rarely in fact....	mjhyankees	12	1457	Sep 8, 2010 by Jerry F
	As I understand....... (Preview) I still cant' believe in a higher power that magically makes things happen in my life...or allows bad things to happen to me or others.....I'm not sure he answers prayers because many of mine went unanswered and If he has a will and a plan...what's the point of praying for anthing????? What I can believ...	mjhyankees	10	791	Sep 8, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Question (Preview) I know I`am suppose to mind my own business "but".. I`am very upset with my daughter`s behavior and how it may be affecting her 7 year old daughter. She is getting older now and people around her apartment complex are talking about her (my daughter) and they are also talking about her athe th...	Samsgram	8	1438	Sep 8, 2010 by maresie
	I, too, have had enough. (Preview) I've posted a couple of times before. ABF went to detox a few months ago. When he got back, he moved in with his friend. He didn't follow up with any outpatient treatment, AA meetings, nothing. So, of course, he went right back to drinking. I lived my life, had my sister and her friends come to visit. He was...	jettiesgirl	13	1025	Sep 8, 2010 by rainbojo66
	I have had enough... (Preview) Picked up my AH from a 5 day detox yesterday (relapsed after 9 months sober), and he is now drunk as we speak having drank a fifth and a half of vodka since yesterday evening. I was just reading a thread about staying with an A - I have decided that I can no longer do that. I have already consulted an attorney a...	stopandchat	10	903	Sep 8, 2010 by stopandchat
	09.05.2010 MIP Chatroom Group Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. August minutes were approved. First item: Meeting schedule. AM MON shimo TUES OPEN WED Iona THURS OPEN FRI Blendergirl SAT OPEN sUN (Spiritual) OPEN PM MON OPEN TUES casa WEDS kerisha THURS (Step/tradition) courage FRI OPEN SAT (Beg...	casa	0	547	Sep 7, 2010 by casa
	parents worst nightmare :( (Preview) Got a call yesterday in the afternoon from a man telling me my daughter was in an accident and I needed to come right away. He said she was ok, cuts and bruises, just scared to death. Totally her fault, she's just 17 and driving for 7 months, and she is feeling horrible physically and emotionally. Thank G...	suzip	7	532	Sep 7, 2010 by suzip
	To call or not to call...that is my question. (Preview) As I mentioned in my original post, my husband travels frequently for work. When he is home, I don't worry as much about drinking as he is in meetings almost daily and doesn't, but when he is gone, I have found out by his own confession that he used that time to indulge himself in a few beverages. He says he...	PAH123	11	772	Sep 7, 2010 by PAH123
	Am I an idiot? (Preview) -Spent ten years with my AH while he drank excessively and did pretty much nothing to contribute to the running of the household. He worked and brought home a paycheck, but did very little childcare, no housework, no handyman work, etc. I did it all (as well as bring in a paycheck). -Presently he is on si...	looking_for_peace	7	1539	Sep 7, 2010 by Andrea12
	New insights and gratitude list..... (Preview) Once again thank you every one. It was suggested for me to post a gratitude list...I will do that in a moment. I also had 2 insights yesterday that I think are important and I want to share: 1) As I spent the day with my daughter, who is just a joy (9 years old) it occurred to me that I was feeling if not unhapp...	mjhyankees	7	949	Sep 7, 2010 by canadianguy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.