Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

DreamXL · DreamXL

I just feel compelled to post today :) My brother who is 41 years old has been alchol and drug free for 7 weeks now. He has used since he was 15. I swear if I didnt have 20 plus years of evidence to snap me into reality I would question him even being an addict. His wife who being an acoa herself finally spok...

tlcate · tlcate

Ever see the train of insanity heading down the tracks and it is your face on the engine? No one else to blame and you can't seem to get out of your own way? I have been sick for about a month. Kept going, been out having a lot of summer fun, trying to buy my first house, trying to take care of myself and everyt...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am always in a hurry(like right now)! I wish I would slow down more! At home I am able to actually sit down & enjoy life but it seems like I am always bouncing off the walls! I often run into things too! That's my daily grind. I am so grateful that I can sit down here & make some sense of my otherwise...

Julia · Julia

Intimacy in a marriage with an alcoholic husband...aaaahhhh! He's rarely able and when he is, he expects me to hop to it. I view him as another child in my household, not even a man, much less a sexually attractive man. I'm here for my children. I've worked through a lot via Alanon, but don't know ho...

kath · kath

I am standing up for what i believe in when I set boundaries with my AH. It is confusing because what I used to allow, I don't allow him to do anymore. One particular situation I am dealing with is the fact that he wants to keep our daughter while I go to school. I used to let him keep her, then I realized that he...

MalinoisMaiden · MalinoisMaiden

Hi, I am not really sure where to start so i think i just will at the beginning. My father became an alcoholic in 1999 when i was 11, i am 22 now. It was after an attack and hijacking he suffered whilst he was working as a taxi driver. It left him unable to work and he hasn't since. His drink of choice was always w...

Julia · Julia

I'm relatively new to understanding this illness (although I've been living with it for 25 years). And, of course, it's just getting worse daily. Something I've noticed, and has been mentioned in this forum, is a decreased interest in appearance/hygiene. Along those lines, I've noticed an odo...

LonelyWife · LonelyWife

My AH voluntarily checked into an inpatient detox/rehab program today where he will be for approx the next week. Do I dare hope he decided to do this because he found his "bottom"? He has nearly, but not completely, lost me/kids. He has not lost a job, gotten arrested, or been in a wreck....

movinforward · movinforward

I have posted only once to this board and am not sure my situation fits with or "qualifies" as al-anon. While my wife may abuse alcohol (as do I and I am beginning to understand the affect this may be having on our relationship) I don't know that she is an alcoholic or that our problems come ...

kath · kath

My AH wanted to come to our home next week and I told him I was not ready to see him. I have three tests next week and work on tuesday, teaching wed night class, and taking care of my three girls. Our anniversary is Tuesday. He texted me practically demanding that I leave our daughter with him while I go to sch...

kath · kath

This week has been crazy. Today I have taken every thought that was negative, fearful, etc. to my HP. I have stepped out on a limb and it is really scary sometimes. I am going to college for the first time in six years to finish my degree. It is tough. I am separated from my AH. I talked to him today. He called....

maire rua · maire rua

I am sick of all the upset and drama. This week, which was exceptionally long and tiring for me, left me very tired tonight. Ex-A comes in from pub and throws a wobbly about the boys playing video games upstairs. He can't sleep, so he's disappeared over to his hovel down the road. I am handing it over. I kno...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), On this day may we never forget the loved ones lost, the first responders and those Alanon family members that are hurting. May we remember those serving in our military & their families. May we practice love, patience and tolerance so that we honor those who lost their lives on...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

I talked my son into going to a rehab program after his court apperance yesterday, I told him as long as he stayed in rehab (it's a Celebrate Recovery associated) and work the program I would help with the fine, but if he didn't I wouldn't pay and the police will picked him up he would just go to jail....

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((Friends)))))))), We live in a world filled with hate and mean people. I never realized this until this young man passed away in my home. Don't misunderstand me, I have seen mean and unforgiving people in my lifetime but this is something I never thought I would see. Since this episode I for t...

weggie · weggie

Well, I can't believe I am going over this same mountain, over, and over again. When will I wake up and leave him. My A had a bout again on Wed night. He came home drunk and said some horrible things to me. So horrible that whenever I think about them I tear up. Work and the Lord are my salvation and stre...

Katy · Katy

Hello Mip, it's been one month since our 19 year old son left our home, we have had intermitten contact with him,and his life now, is a far cry from the one he left us for, he's dirty, drunk and and has taken a few beatings the last few weeks, he tells us though he is happy, he has had his phone stolen from him b...

gailsox · gailsox

Hi, I have been in Al-Anon for over a year and I just finished my 4th step in "Paths to Recovery". I will be starting in the "BluePrint for Progress" this week. What I need help on is seeing my Self-Pity... I did not think I had it, but I am finding I do. I can not see it clearly YET... I kn...

worriedbout · worriedbout

how will alon help me to help my alcohlic husband?

Cloudsea · Cloudsea

Hi, Everybody: I just joined this forum yesterday. I have been married to a guy for 22 years who just this summer realized he is an A. We have two great kids, 10 & 14. After a 5-week treatment program, he now attends AA and has been sober two months. I have been to about 5-6 Al Anon meetings and am read...

kath · kath

I am familiar with dealing with my ah when i am angry with him, when we are not speaking, and have come here to vent my frustrations. I have received some good suggestions on how to relate. I am now wondering how to relate to my ah when we are speaking and being kind to each other. I used to run to him ( we are se...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I've complained enough about the wife and I guess I don't have to "make everyone understand"....so how about me? What are my flaws, issues and negative characteristics???? I have to be careful here because as my therapist points out, I'm really good at beating myself up...but I think I c...

PAH123 · PAH123

So far, I feel like all roads lead to "EXA" and I would love to hear some stories from those of you who remain married to an A and have made it work through recovery. If this is you, please let me know how you are able to work through the resentment that your spouses disease has now made you sick. ...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Rwandan Proverb: "If you are building a house and a nail breaks, do you stop building or change the nail?" When something happens that throws off our recovery do we give up? Do we stop and do nothing? Or do we change course? Do we try something new? When we find a meeting that we don't like...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

She's coming home from school (taking classes) and calls me. I'm cooking eggplant for dinner, my daughter requested it. My wife says "we had eggplant last week, I don't want it again (???)!" She then asks me to order out for her at applebees and she'll pick it up....so, I don't really car...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Random thoughts: I've never felt so alone and so sad as I feel at this time in my life. The dispare that surrounds the parents of addicts and alcololics invades every aspect of the persons life. I've come to realize my words have no affect on the child I once knew, as they no longer reside within the body of...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok, So I have been Praying on this, and I just can't step back far enough to really listen, and that is the "Just" of it really... Most know I have an entire family of "A's" and one is my older Sister, Now I love her, However... She isn't always easy to love... She is 4 years older then m...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I don't get it. I thought recovery was a good thing. But now somehow I'M the bad guy, I'm the one that brings chaos into his life and "he can't live like this in recovery" now, I know quite a few folks in a program, be it AA, NA, etc and one thing I've never heard any of them say is "this or...

Goodtillitsbad · Goodtillitsbad

Thank god (or my HP as they say) for this program. Everyday I need to use a tool from this program. I am hundreds of miles away from my AH right now for work. He has been out of the house (per my request cuz of his drinking) for 6 months now. I have been very good about not asking about his recovery/relapse/cur...

Lizz · Lizz

Has anybody heard of this? My exABF had a rash on his stomach that wouldnt go away..I think it may be Psuedo Cushing Disease which can be caused by alcoholism.

Rora · Rora

I've had some time to absorb the latest hurt of the exaH being that he decided he would no longer have anything to do with our son. On one hand this is painful and left me distraught for a period of time. Now, I wonder if it isn't for the better right now? Since this time I feel nothing but compassion and sor...

Bambina10 · Bambina10

I'm new to Al Anon. No experience with alcoholism before. My AH just graduated from a rehab program and goes to AA meetings. Married approx 6 months ago, he did a good job at hidding how serious the alcohol issue was.. Gradually it became very obvious, going as far as sleeping in his truck for 3 days i...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Someone suggested this to me...you know who you are!!!!! I gave it some thought and I'm sorry to say I can't come up with much. She's caused a lot of pain and suffering for me and my daughter due to not dealing with her issues....and she's not an alcoholic or even much of a drinker at all...rarely in fact....

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I still cant' believe in a higher power that magically makes things happen in my life...or allows bad things to happen to me or others.....I'm not sure he answers prayers because many of mine went unanswered and If he has a will and a plan...what's the point of praying for anthing????? What I can believ...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I know I`am suppose to mind my own business "but".. I`am very upset with my daughter`s behavior and how it may be affecting her 7 year old daughter. She is getting older now and people around her apartment complex are talking about her (my daughter) and they are also talking about her athe th...

jettiesgirl · jettiesgirl

I've posted a couple of times before. ABF went to detox a few months ago. When he got back, he moved in with his friend. He didn't follow up with any outpatient treatment, AA meetings, nothing. So, of course, he went right back to drinking. I lived my life, had my sister and her friends come to visit. He was...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Picked up my AH from a 5 day detox yesterday (relapsed after 9 months sober), and he is now drunk as we speak having drank a fifth and a half of vodka since yesterday evening. I was just reading a thread about staying with an A - I have decided that I can no longer do that. I have already consulted an attorney a...

casa · casa

Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. August minutes were approved. First item: Meeting schedule. AM MON shimo TUES OPEN WED Iona THURS OPEN FRI Blendergirl SAT OPEN sUN (Spiritual) OPEN PM MON OPEN TUES casa WEDS kerisha THURS (Step/tradition) courage FRI OPEN SAT (Beg...

suzip · suzip

Got a call yesterday in the afternoon from a man telling me my daughter was in an accident and I needed to come right away. He said she was ok, cuts and bruises, just scared to death. Totally her fault, she's just 17 and driving for 7 months, and she is feeling horrible physically and emotionally. Thank G...

PAH123 · PAH123

As I mentioned in my original post, my husband travels frequently for work. When he is home, I don't worry as much about drinking as he is in meetings almost daily and doesn't, but when he is gone, I have found out by his own confession that he used that time to indulge himself in a few beverages. He says he...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

-Spent ten years with my AH while he drank excessively and did pretty much nothing to contribute to the running of the household. He worked and brought home a paycheck, but did very little childcare, no housework, no handyman work, etc. I did it all (as well as bring in a paycheck). -Presently he is on si...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Once again thank you every one. It was suggested for me to post a gratitude list...I will do that in a moment. I also had 2 insights yesterday that I think are important and I want to share: 1) As I spent the day with my daughter, who is just a joy (9 years old) it occurred to me that I was feeling if not unhapp...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I went to another meeting last night.....it was...well...it didn't hurt...I realize that things don't get fixed in one meeting. And while I know we shouldn't compare, I certainly heard of far worse troubles than I have. Grudgingly I had to admit I had much to be grateful for. I realize the temptat...

pax · pax

I'm curious about your A's eating habits. It might help us to share, to realize that we are not alone in dealing with someone who will not sit down with the family to eat, or has other odd eating habits. I have found it helpful to use a crockpot so that a healthy meal is usually available.

Samsgram · Samsgram

I think my daughter is using again. I know I`am not suppose to let this interfer with my program but I`am allowing it. The problem is I`am having difficulty with the program itself. The basic core of the program is spiritual and I`am having a hard time with the HP part. Today is particulary hard for me. I w...

PAH123 · PAH123

Hello Everyone I am new here and could really use some help.I am the wife of an Alcoholic. We have been married for 23 years and I am only just now realizing how deep into this addiction thing I am. I have been lied to and made into a virtual servant to my addict for the last 23 years and I want things to chang...

Ella0417 · Ella0417

My best girfriend is an alcoholic. We went on a trip together and she had a drink at lunch and dinner saying she could handle one drink. I have taken her to rehab twice and the third time she went off the wagon and called me to take her in I was in an auto accident on the way over. I know the accident is not her...

maresie · maresie

I'm well aware over reaction really affected me in every area of my life. By doing a 4th step I can see that I was always in over reaction to the ex A. Even these days I can still be raging and raving about what he did rather than what I thought. The thought came before the deeds and the staying and the tant...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, Its been a while since I have posted. Work, kids, life have kept me from being as active on MIP as I'd like, but I always check in, knowing my recovery began here. This may be a bit rambled, for it is late, but I feel compelled to share some ESH, particularly for those who are new and wonder if the...

Maize · Maize

My abf is staying with me now, since his parents kicked him out. He knows if he slips here he will have no where to go. His mom has been to Alanon and the family program at the rehab in Florida where ABF was in July. She knows to not do what she is doing, but she is still doing it. They kicked him out, yet she k...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Thanks everyone for the thoughts, ideas, sharing and even the KITA's. I grew up in an alcoholic home and so the effects of Alcoholism (and other dysfuntion) is so deeply ingrained that I cant' think of a time when I wasn't affected. So the feelings of not being good enough, depression, comparing mysel...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Ok I've vented.....I think, at least for now I've released all the fear, disappointment, sadness and frustration that I can. There's only one thing left. That's to work the program as best I can. I don't feel much hope though. I KNOW I'll improve...after all "progress not perfection"...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((Friends)))))))))), Well nearly two weeks have passed since the disaster in my home. The rumors are horrid I can rise above it but my chilren are having some difficulties. Did I want this young man to overdose in my home? Did I want my 18 year old son to give CPR for 45 minutes to a friend he could n...

MariaShea · MariaShea

Are you a controller or a doormat? In dealing with my son's addiction, I find I am a both. I try and control him yet I am a doormat at times giving in to him. Before Al-Anon I had no awareness of either so I have learned some things there.

pocerutuf · pocerutuf

I have know my Wife for 10 years now. We just got married (finally) on September 1 2010, 10 years to the day that we met. There has been very good times and a lot of very bad times. Over the course of our relationship, we have broken up several times but always seem to come back to each other. I did however,...

maresie · maresie

I met a guy recently quite by chance who turned out to be a drug dealer. I chose quite clearly not to be involved with him but I do still talk to him, now its if I meet him by chance. Recently on a boiling hot day I was out doing errands, swamped with shopping bags, waterless and feeling absolutely exhausted...

kath · kath

My baby and I spent a couple of hours today at the park with my AH. I did not bring up any issues. We were having a nice time and then suddenly out of the blue he asks me if I still want to be married to him. Instead of screaming and yelling and crying at him I calmly told him that I would not continue to live with hi...

casa · casa

The Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. First Item: Meeting schedule and a lack of people chairing their assigned meetings was discussed. This topic had to be tabled to the next meeting due to lack of attendance. It was suggested that an email should be sent out to all ops that chair aski...

pax · pax

So, continuing on the topic of Ilovedog's thread - when you just get to the point when you deliberately do not snoop, how do you get over the anxiety of needing to know? I guess I'm asking for specific methods self-care, perhaps deliberate trains of thought, which may be used during the transition...

need lots of help · need lots of help

I can't take it anymore. I have given it my all and then some for YEARS! I can no longer live with an alcoholic. I will give him the papers on Monday. I signed a lease to an apt ready to move in labor day weekend. I am praying that he allows me to leave with the kids. Thankfully, he doesn't drink during th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Miracles (Preview) I just feel compelled to post today :) My brother who is 41 years old has been alchol and drug free for 7 weeks now. He has used since he was 15. I swear if I didnt have 20 plus years of evidence to snap me into reality I would question him even being an addict. His wife who being an acoa herself finally spok...	DreamXL	6	1257	Sep 12, 2010 by DreamXL
	My Own Addiction (Preview) Ever see the train of insanity heading down the tracks and it is your face on the engine? No one else to blame and you can't seem to get out of your own way? I have been sick for about a month. Kept going, been out having a lot of summer fun, trying to buy my first house, trying to take care of myself and everyt...	tlcate	10	967	Sep 12, 2010 by Karilynn
	ALWAYS IN A HURRY! (Preview) I am always in a hurry(like right now)! I wish I would slow down more! At home I am able to actually sit down & enjoy life but it seems like I am always bouncing off the walls! I often run into things too! That's my daily grind. I am so grateful that I can sit down here & make some sense of my otherwise...	Hoot Nanny	4	722	Sep 12, 2010 by Lem
	Physical intimacy in a marriage with an alcoholic (Preview) Intimacy in a marriage with an alcoholic husband...aaaahhhh! He's rarely able and when he is, he expects me to hop to it. I view him as another child in my household, not even a man, much less a sexually attractive man. I'm here for my children. I've worked through a lot via Alanon, but don't know ho...	Julia	10	8555	Sep 12, 2010 by Omega Man
	what used to be (Preview) I am standing up for what i believe in when I set boundaries with my AH. It is confusing because what I used to allow, I don't allow him to do anymore. One particular situation I am dealing with is the fact that he wants to keep our daughter while I go to school. I used to let him keep her, then I realized that he...	kath	7	634	Sep 12, 2010 by abbyal
	New Member - Alcoholic Father - Very Long Post (Preview) Hi, I am not really sure where to start so i think i just will at the beginning. My father became an alcoholic in 1999 when i was 11, i am 22 now. It was after an attack and hijacking he suffered whilst he was working as a taxi driver. It left him unable to work and he hasn't since. His drink of choice was always w...	MalinoisMaiden	5	1797	Sep 11, 2010 by MalinoisMaiden
	Alcoholics and Hygiene (Preview) I'm relatively new to understanding this illness (although I've been living with it for 25 years). And, of course, it's just getting worse daily. Something I've noticed, and has been mentioned in this forum, is a decreased interest in appearance/hygiene. Along those lines, I've noticed an odo...	Julia	8	5191	Sep 11, 2010 by stopandchat
	Checked in to rehab. What now? (Preview) My AH voluntarily checked into an inpatient detox/rehab program today where he will be for approx the next week. Do I dare hope he decided to do this because he found his "bottom"? He has nearly, but not completely, lost me/kids. He has not lost a job, gotten arrested, or been in a wreck....	LonelyWife	10	888	Sep 11, 2010 by stopandchat
	Can I be here? (Preview) I have posted only once to this board and am not sure my situation fits with or "qualifies" as al-anon. While my wife may abuse alcohol (as do I and I am beginning to understand the affect this may be having on our relationship) I don't know that she is an alcoholic or that our problems come ...	movinforward	5	731	Sep 11, 2010 by xeno59
	Last night (Preview) My AH wanted to come to our home next week and I told him I was not ready to see him. I have three tests next week and work on tuesday, teaching wed night class, and taking care of my three girls. Our anniversary is Tuesday. He texted me practically demanding that I leave our daughter with him while I go to sch...	kath	5	608	Sep 11, 2010 by maresie
	just checking in (Preview) This week has been crazy. Today I have taken every thought that was negative, fearful, etc. to my HP. I have stepped out on a limb and it is really scary sometimes. I am going to college for the first time in six years to finish my degree. It is tough. I am separated from my AH. I talked to him today. He called....	kath	4	613	Sep 11, 2010 by maresie
	Upset and drama (Preview) I am sick of all the upset and drama. This week, which was exceptionally long and tiring for me, left me very tired tonight. Ex-A comes in from pub and throws a wobbly about the boys playing video games upstairs. He can't sleep, so he's disappeared over to his hovel down the road. I am handing it over. I kno...	maire rua	4	842	Sep 11, 2010 by maresie
	Never forget... (Preview) ((((Family))), On this day may we never forget the loved ones lost, the first responders and those Alanon family members that are hurting. May we remember those serving in our military & their families. May we practice love, patience and tolerance so that we honor those who lost their lives on...	Karilynn	3	653	Sep 11, 2010 by Bettina
	Coming Undone.... (Preview) I talked my son into going to a rehab program after his court apperance yesterday, I told him as long as he stayed in rehab (it's a Celebrate Recovery associated) and work the program I would help with the fine, but if he didn't I wouldn't pay and the police will picked him up he would just go to jail....	DreamsOver	7	479	Sep 11, 2010 by Andrea12
	I Am Afraid!!!!!!!! (Preview) (((((((((Friends)))))))), We live in a world filled with hate and mean people. I never realized this until this young man passed away in my home. Don't misunderstand me, I have seen mean and unforgiving people in my lifetime but this is something I never thought I would see. Since this episode I for t...	Andrea12	16	893	Sep 11, 2010 by Karilynn
	Again (Preview) Well, I can't believe I am going over this same mountain, over, and over again. When will I wake up and leave him. My A had a bout again on Wed night. He came home drunk and said some horrible things to me. So horrible that whenever I think about them I tear up. Work and the Lord are my salvation and stre...	weggie	5	596	Sep 10, 2010 by Jerry F
	dyslexhia, aspergers, and alcholism? (Preview) Hello Mip, it's been one month since our 19 year old son left our home, we have had intermitten contact with him,and his life now, is a far cry from the one he left us for, he's dirty, drunk and and has taken a few beatings the last few weeks, he tells us though he is happy, he has had his phone stolen from him b...	Katy	4	863	Sep 10, 2010 by lyndebi
	Symptoms of Self Pity (Preview) Hi, I have been in Al-Anon for over a year and I just finished my 4th step in "Paths to Recovery". I will be starting in the "BluePrint for Progress" this week. What I need help on is seeing my Self-Pity... I did not think I had it, but I am finding I do. I can not see it clearly YET... I kn...	gailsox	4	5353	Sep 10, 2010 by maresie
	confused (Preview) how will alon help me to help my alcohlic husband?	worriedbout	4	745	Sep 10, 2010 by abbyal
	Baby steps away from insanity to recovery (Preview) Hi, Everybody: I just joined this forum yesterday. I have been married to a guy for 22 years who just this summer realized he is an A. We have two great kids, 10 & 14. After a 5-week treatment program, he now attends AA and has been sober two months. I have been to about 5-6 Al Anon meetings and am read...	Cloudsea	9	988	Sep 10, 2010 by Mattie
	suggestions? (Preview) I am familiar with dealing with my ah when i am angry with him, when we are not speaking, and have come here to vent my frustrations. I have received some good suggestions on how to relate. I am now wondering how to relate to my ah when we are speaking and being kind to each other. I used to run to him ( we are se...	kath	5	1001	Sep 10, 2010 by kitty
	Working on me.... (Preview) I've complained enough about the wife and I guess I don't have to "make everyone understand"....so how about me? What are my flaws, issues and negative characteristics???? I have to be careful here because as my therapist points out, I'm really good at beating myself up...but I think I c...	mjhyankees	6	750	Sep 10, 2010 by xeno59
	Anyone who has stayed in a marriage with their A please post. (Preview) So far, I feel like all roads lead to "EXA" and I would love to hear some stories from those of you who remain married to an A and have made it work through recovery. If this is you, please let me know how you are able to work through the resentment that your spouses disease has now made you sick. ...	PAH123	27	1562	Sep 10, 2010 by weggie
	Choices (Preview) Rwandan Proverb: "If you are building a house and a nail breaks, do you stop building or change the nail?" When something happens that throws off our recovery do we give up? Do we stop and do nothing? Or do we change course? Do we try something new? When we find a meeting that we don't like...	Karilynn	7	771	Sep 10, 2010 by Christy
	Typical night with the wife.... (Preview) She's coming home from school (taking classes) and calls me. I'm cooking eggplant for dinner, my daughter requested it. My wife says "we had eggplant last week, I don't want it again (???)!" She then asks me to order out for her at applebees and she'll pick it up....so, I don't really car...	mjhyankees	18	820	Sep 9, 2010 by Christy
	The Parents that loved them (Preview) Random thoughts: I've never felt so alone and so sad as I feel at this time in my life. The dispare that surrounds the parents of addicts and alcololics invades every aspect of the persons life. I've come to realize my words have no affect on the child I once knew, as they no longer reside within the body of...	Peggy7	13	983	Sep 9, 2010 by Samsgram
	Augghhh ASister.... (Preview) Ok, So I have been Praying on this, and I just can't step back far enough to really listen, and that is the "Just" of it really... Most know I have an entire family of "A's" and one is my older Sister, Now I love her, However... She isn't always easy to love... She is 4 years older then m...	Jozie	1	647	Sep 9, 2010 by Jerry F
	He's in "recovery" and now I'M the chaotic one???? (Preview) I don't get it. I thought recovery was a good thing. But now somehow I'M the bad guy, I'm the one that brings chaos into his life and "he can't live like this in recovery" now, I know quite a few folks in a program, be it AA, NA, etc and one thing I've never heard any of them say is "this or...	lizzakiss	5	748	Sep 9, 2010 by Cloudsea
	It's Me (not my qualifier) :-P (Preview) Thank god (or my HP as they say) for this program. Everyday I need to use a tool from this program. I am hundreds of miles away from my AH right now for work. He has been out of the house (per my request cuz of his drinking) for 6 months now. I have been very good about not asking about his recovery/relapse/cur...	Goodtillitsbad	6	761	Sep 9, 2010 by xeno59
	Psuedo Cushing Disease (Preview) Has anybody heard of this? My exABF had a rash on his stomach that wouldnt go away..I think it may be Psuedo Cushing Disease which can be caused by alcoholism.	Lizz	3	528	Sep 9, 2010 by bud
	It's just the way it is (Preview) I've had some time to absorb the latest hurt of the exaH being that he decided he would no longer have anything to do with our son. On one hand this is painful and left me distraught for a period of time. Now, I wonder if it isn't for the better right now? Since this time I feel nothing but compassion and sor...	Rora	5	831	Sep 9, 2010 by Karilynn
	THE COLLATERAL DAMAGE SCARES ME.. (Preview) I'm new to Al Anon. No experience with alcoholism before. My AH just graduated from a rehab program and goes to AA meetings. Married approx 6 months ago, he did a good job at hidding how serious the alcohol issue was.. Gradually it became very obvious, going as far as sleeping in his truck for 3 days i...	Bambina10	12	794	Sep 9, 2010 by Christy
	gratitude list for wife?????!!!!?????? (Preview) Someone suggested this to me...you know who you are!!!!! I gave it some thought and I'm sorry to say I can't come up with much. She's caused a lot of pain and suffering for me and my daughter due to not dealing with her issues....and she's not an alcoholic or even much of a drinker at all...rarely in fact....	mjhyankees	12	1381	Sep 8, 2010 by Jerry F
	As I understand....... (Preview) I still cant' believe in a higher power that magically makes things happen in my life...or allows bad things to happen to me or others.....I'm not sure he answers prayers because many of mine went unanswered and If he has a will and a plan...what's the point of praying for anthing????? What I can believ...	mjhyankees	10	734	Sep 8, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Question (Preview) I know I`am suppose to mind my own business "but".. I`am very upset with my daughter`s behavior and how it may be affecting her 7 year old daughter. She is getting older now and people around her apartment complex are talking about her (my daughter) and they are also talking about her athe th...	Samsgram	8	1382	Sep 8, 2010 by maresie
	I, too, have had enough. (Preview) I've posted a couple of times before. ABF went to detox a few months ago. When he got back, he moved in with his friend. He didn't follow up with any outpatient treatment, AA meetings, nothing. So, of course, he went right back to drinking. I lived my life, had my sister and her friends come to visit. He was...	jettiesgirl	13	965	Sep 8, 2010 by rainbojo66
	I have had enough... (Preview) Picked up my AH from a 5 day detox yesterday (relapsed after 9 months sober), and he is now drunk as we speak having drank a fifth and a half of vodka since yesterday evening. I was just reading a thread about staying with an A - I have decided that I can no longer do that. I have already consulted an attorney a...	stopandchat	10	847	Sep 8, 2010 by stopandchat
	09.05.2010 MIP Chatroom Group Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. August minutes were approved. First item: Meeting schedule. AM MON shimo TUES OPEN WED Iona THURS OPEN FRI Blendergirl SAT OPEN sUN (Spiritual) OPEN PM MON OPEN TUES casa WEDS kerisha THURS (Step/tradition) courage FRI OPEN SAT (Beg...	casa	0	492	Sep 7, 2010 by casa
	parents worst nightmare :( (Preview) Got a call yesterday in the afternoon from a man telling me my daughter was in an accident and I needed to come right away. He said she was ok, cuts and bruises, just scared to death. Totally her fault, she's just 17 and driving for 7 months, and she is feeling horrible physically and emotionally. Thank G...	suzip	7	477	Sep 7, 2010 by suzip
	To call or not to call...that is my question. (Preview) As I mentioned in my original post, my husband travels frequently for work. When he is home, I don't worry as much about drinking as he is in meetings almost daily and doesn't, but when he is gone, I have found out by his own confession that he used that time to indulge himself in a few beverages. He says he...	PAH123	11	722	Sep 7, 2010 by PAH123
	Am I an idiot? (Preview) -Spent ten years with my AH while he drank excessively and did pretty much nothing to contribute to the running of the household. He worked and brought home a paycheck, but did very little childcare, no housework, no handyman work, etc. I did it all (as well as bring in a paycheck). -Presently he is on si...	looking_for_peace	7	1482	Sep 7, 2010 by Andrea12
	New insights and gratitude list..... (Preview) Once again thank you every one. It was suggested for me to post a gratitude list...I will do that in a moment. I also had 2 insights yesterday that I think are important and I want to share: 1) As I spent the day with my daughter, who is just a joy (9 years old) it occurred to me that I was feeling if not unhapp...	mjhyankees	7	889	Sep 7, 2010 by canadianguy
	I'm sorry but I'm confused..... (Preview) I went to another meeting last night.....it was...well...it didn't hurt...I realize that things don't get fixed in one meeting. And while I know we shouldn't compare, I certainly heard of far worse troubles than I have. Grudgingly I had to admit I had much to be grateful for. I realize the temptat...	mjhyankees	7	855	Sep 7, 2010 by Andrea12
	in the kitchen (Preview) I'm curious about your A's eating habits. It might help us to share, to realize that we are not alone in dealing with someone who will not sit down with the family to eat, or has other odd eating habits. I have found it helpful to use a crockpot so that a healthy meal is usually available.	pax	4	751	Sep 7, 2010 by White Rabbit
	I`am Having a Hard Time (Preview) I think my daughter is using again. I know I`am not suppose to let this interfer with my program but I`am allowing it. The problem is I`am having difficulty with the program itself. The basic core of the program is spiritual and I`am having a hard time with the HP part. Today is particulary hard for me. I w...	Samsgram	7	1258	Sep 6, 2010 by Samsgram
	What's the point? (Preview) Hello Everyone I am new here and could really use some help.I am the wife of an Alcoholic. We have been married for 23 years and I am only just now realizing how deep into this addiction thing I am. I have been lied to and made into a virtual servant to my addict for the last 23 years and I want things to chang...	PAH123	10	976	Sep 6, 2010 by Loupiness
	Someone please tell me how to handle this. (Preview) My best girfriend is an alcoholic. We went on a trip together and she had a drink at lunch and dinner saying she could handle one drink. I have taken her to rehab twice and the third time she went off the wagon and called me to take her in I was in an auto accident on the way over. I know the accident is not her...	Ella0417	3	925	Sep 6, 2010 by xeno59
	Over reaction (Preview) I'm well aware over reaction really affected me in every area of my life. By doing a 4th step I can see that I was always in over reaction to the ex A. Even these days I can still be raging and raving about what he did rather than what I thought. The thought came before the deeds and the staying and the tant...	maresie	3	1236	Sep 6, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Don't quit before the miracle... (Preview) Hi Friends, Its been a while since I have posted. Work, kids, life have kept me from being as active on MIP as I'd like, but I always check in, knowing my recovery began here. This may be a bit rambled, for it is late, but I feel compelled to share some ESH, particularly for those who are new and wonder if the...	Loupiness	8	1366	Sep 6, 2010 by artygirl
	His mom is driving us both nuts (Preview) My abf is staying with me now, since his parents kicked him out. He knows if he slips here he will have no where to go. His mom has been to Alanon and the family program at the rehab in Florida where ABF was in July. She knows to not do what she is doing, but she is still doing it. They kicked him out, yet she k...	Maize	6	499	Sep 6, 2010 by glad lee
	A survivor? That's all???? (Preview) Thanks everyone for the thoughts, ideas, sharing and even the KITA's. I grew up in an alcoholic home and so the effects of Alcoholism (and other dysfuntion) is so deeply ingrained that I cant' think of a time when I wasn't affected. So the feelings of not being good enough, depression, comparing mysel...	mjhyankees	21	973	Sep 6, 2010 by RLC
	Give me directions to the "Road to Recovery".... (Preview) Ok I've vented.....I think, at least for now I've released all the fear, disappointment, sadness and frustration that I can. There's only one thing left. That's to work the program as best I can. I don't feel much hope though. I KNOW I'll improve...after all "progress not perfection"...	mjhyankees	6	545	Sep 5, 2010 by glad lee
	Will Life Ever Be "Normal:" Again? (Preview) (((((((Friends)))))))))), Well nearly two weeks have passed since the disaster in my home. The rumors are horrid I can rise above it but my chilren are having some difficulties. Did I want this young man to overdose in my home? Did I want my 18 year old son to give CPR for 45 minutes to a friend he could n...	Andrea12	11	1054	Sep 5, 2010 by RLC
	Which One Are You? (Preview) Are you a controller or a doormat? In dealing with my son's addiction, I find I am a both. I try and control him yet I am a doormat at times giving in to him. Before Al-Anon I had no awareness of either so I have learned some things there.	MariaShea	8	592	Sep 5, 2010 by Jerry F
	When do I say I can't do this anymore? (Preview) I have know my Wife for 10 years now. We just got married (finally) on September 1 2010, 10 years to the day that we met. There has been very good times and a lot of very bad times. Over the course of our relationship, we have broken up several times but always seem to come back to each other. I did however,...	pocerutuf	10	1797	Sep 5, 2010 by pocerutuf
	Self care (Preview) I met a guy recently quite by chance who turned out to be a drug dealer. I chose quite clearly not to be involved with him but I do still talk to him, now its if I meet him by chance. Recently on a boiling hot day I was out doing errands, swamped with shopping bags, waterless and feeling absolutely exhausted...	maresie	7	914	Sep 5, 2010 by maresie
	Getting Stronger (Preview) My baby and I spent a couple of hours today at the park with my AH. I did not bring up any issues. We were having a nice time and then suddenly out of the blue he asks me if I still want to be married to him. Instead of screaming and yelling and crying at him I calmly told him that I would not continue to live with hi...	kath	3	701	Sep 5, 2010 by pineapple
	08.15.10 MIP Chatroom Group Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) The Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. First Item: Meeting schedule and a lack of people chairing their assigned meetings was discussed. This topic had to be tabled to the next meeting due to lack of attendance. It was suggested that an email should be sent out to all ops that chair aski...	casa	4	365	Sep 5, 2010 by lyndebi
	Ending the snooping (Preview) So, continuing on the topic of Ilovedog's thread - when you just get to the point when you deliberately do not snoop, how do you get over the anxiety of needing to know? I guess I'm asking for specific methods self-care, perhaps deliberate trains of thought, which may be used during the transition...	pax	15	976	Sep 4, 2010 by wifeofalcoholic
	I filed for a divorce today! (Preview) I can't take it anymore. I have given it my all and then some for YEARS! I can no longer live with an alcoholic. I will give him the papers on Monday. I signed a lease to an apt ready to move in labor day weekend. I am praying that he allows me to leave with the kids. Thankfully, he doesn't drink during th...	need lots of help	12	951	Sep 4, 2010 by wifeofalcoholic
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.