Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

dori711 · dori711

I have constantly gone to my husband and apologized time and time again. I often apologize for things that aren't even my doing. First I try to reason with him when that doesn't work I am usually the one that apologizes. Aren't we supposed to do this as part of the 12 steps. Isn't this making him feel...

BostonFern · BostonFern

Some people may consider my message here very dark and unpleasant. I'm just trying to understand what had happened to me. Please correct me if I had been wrong in my analysis here... I had befriended with several alanon friends, and have been surprised by their behaviors toward me. During the m...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

I'll give you a quick background. My brother just got out of jail Saturday AM. He was in for 60 days for violating parole (drinking). He was out for two weeks to the day before being picked up. Before that, he served a 1 year sentence for his 4th DUI. He served a 6 month sentence about two years ago for his 3rd...

clm · clm

First let me say I am thankful for a site like this where I can express my concerns and know you will share the benefit of your experience. My husband of 20 years has developed a binge drinking pattern and it really has me on edge. He is a well liked, professional man who is fortunately a funny, mellow dru...

lyndebi · lyndebi

I found this post made me uncomfortable. NO offense to my friend Diva. It is MY experience that we do not gossip about others here on MIP. She is no different than anyone else. She is sick. How many times do we read on here from our dear sis and bros that their A drank on the way home, or was back on drugs in a wee...

Maize · Maize

I have read about not letting people have power over me, and so I am working on this. I am important and for all of my life, I have never felt important. Til now. I have given up my power to everyone, my abusers as a child, friends, family, boyfriends, husbands.... I become enamored or intimidated by p...

Aloha · Aloha

I got a phone call yesterday from my ex-AH while I was at work. He told me he got some paperwork from the court and was wondering what it was. He made me nervous when he said it had a bunch of marks on it. I asked him "is it stamped?" He confirmed that the paperwork was stamped. That was GOOD news. It...

Maize · Maize

I am having a good day. I have felt strong all day. I have stayed in the moment here at work. I did not argue or let my ex-husband get to me this morning when he and I exchanged our son. My photography partner and I are working out our differences. I am in the moment. I feel pretty happy. My abf just call...

confused43 · confused43

A bit of background...I was married to an alcoholic for 19 years and have 3 kids with him. I finally left 3 years ago after living with it all of those years and him never being able to stop drinking for more than 2 weeks. He went downhill rapidly after I left him and was very angry and agressive towards me fo...

Julia · Julia

I need some advice on encouraging my 13 year old son to attend alanon for teens meetings. His father is an alcoholic. My son asked to attend alanon meetings over a year ago (that's how I got started attending the meetings for adults). He went to about five and decided (and rightly so) that the meeting...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Overall I'm feeling ok...better would be accurate too....I'm not as depressed as I was a few weeks back...I feel sort of numb....but there have been some positives I see in myself lately. 1. Time seems to have slowed down...I'm feeling more in the moment than I usually do. 2. I feel relaxed. 3. I've...

Christy · Christy

TO JERRYF!!! Have a wonderful day Jerry and thank you for being you!! YOU ROCK, BROTHER!!!!

Colnago Gal · Colnago Gal

Hello - I am very new to the concept of recovery and looking for advice (or affirmation or guidance)... My husband of 4 years is an alcoholic - but has not been able to admit it until recently - and it is this recent admission that I am struggling with. I have set boundaries only to give in with respect to h...

Maize · Maize

This has nothing to do with the ABF in my life. It has to do with my exhusband and his abusive ways still effecting me. Why do I let him have that kind of power over me? Today while we exchanged our child (I drive my son to meet the ex for school so I can get to work on time), he had a problem with what my son was w...

Jozie · Jozie

Still not Feeling OK... Sickness is lingering, I have been trying to move around a little more today, but just can't seem to find the energy to do it... Funny how when I am sick I can see all the things I never slow down to look at... Like ME for instantace... resently I have been SLOWLY Hacking away at my...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I have a doc appointment today at 11am. He has requested my presence. I had a bunch of blood work done a few weeks back and then was hospitalized for a few days with a lupus flare. He got results and wants me in the office. Never has this happened, usually over the phone is good. My mind is in overdrive....

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

This year's work is done. I have another deck i need to do next year but the one I targeted for this year is done. Did it come out great? Not really.....no carpenter is going to marvel at my skills. However I'd also say I'm not embarrassed by the work I did. Overall pretty decent, quite functional and...

kablisnow · kablisnow

I have realized while in this program just how happy I want to be and that this disease shatters all hope for that. I am sooo sick of the drama that comes from this and the endless lies and betrayals. Tonight I just realized that I dont have to be this unhappy and that this life was not chosen for me, it was cho...

dori711 · dori711

He still drinks several times a week. He says I blame him for everything and that there is something wrong with me and that the kids think so too and that I'm selfish. That really hurt but as I was thinking it over, I realized that I've been trying to help my husband and children with their problems almos...

MK · MK

I have been dealing with my 23 year old daughter off and on now for the past 6 years with her drinking. She will not get help and has already gone through a program. She says she will not stop .

stopandchat · stopandchat

It's been one helluva week! But, by the grace of God and thanks to the program and you wonderful people here at MIP, I'm doing pretty good. I think my AH is the worse he's ever been. He's been to the hospital 3 times this week for alcohol poisoning - has walked out each time against medical advice. The last t...

DreamXL · DreamXL

I guess I just feel to share this after reading "but for the grace of god go I" post. My son who is now 18 and in his first year of college was very affected by something that his high school did every three months. Two AA speakers came to share their stories in the auditorium every three months...

cleanlivin · cleanlivin

Hi All....Long story short..... My husband has been abusing alcohol for years. He doesn't get physical or mean, he's just "that" drunk guy at a social event. He's blacked out, passed out and always swears he's going to get help when he sobers up. He hasn't and just seems unhappy with his lif...

Maize · Maize

I will be reading all of the posts I missed today when I get home tonight... But for now, I just wanted to say that my exhusband (the abusive one) was stirring up crap today. At first for about 10 minutes, it really bothered me. Then somehow, I began to look at it a different way. I was able to turn it arou...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

So today I followed through on what I had threatened and thought about for the past few months now. I left. The apartment looked so sad with my stuff gone. My xbf-sober has 9 years but most of it was just as a dry drunk. The past few months he had been making meetings on a regular basis and recently got a...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Hey Everyone! It's been a while since I've been on here. I've been busy working my program with an amazing Sponsor. I'm checking to see if anyone can recommend some Al-Anon literature for me. So far I've read: Paths to Recovery How Al-Anon Works From Survival to Recovery Discovering Choices Forum F...

Gaia · Gaia

I posted another thread about looking for a timer...but this made me wonder... How does your f2f (if you have one) deal with time? Is it open time sharing? Or do you set a time boundary? In what way? And if yes, how do you "enforce" it? And if someone continually takes up more than their a...

John · John

As many of you know, my life is dedicated to trying to provide a safe haven for alcoholics, addicts and their families who have a desire to recover; Both online with the MIP web site and here in Wilmington, NC with the MIP recovery homes. Well, this past Friday I came home to find the police (7 cars) in fr...

Jozie · Jozie

Feeling Rather Blaahhh Zayyy Today :( Think I have caught the latest "bug" that has been pasted around through out my family and today is def. my day for it :( My Weekend left me with ALOT of Growing in the program, and using my tools, Had plans for a little over a month, (and put down some things...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((Friends))))))))))))) Took my mom today to get a biopsy of her tongue. We woln't know the results until Wednesday. I am asking all to send a prayer please. She is the glue that holds this family together. She is sometimes a pain in my rear but I love her with all I am. My mom is giving, caring, lo...

dcjjp1 · dcjjp1

Let me bend you ear for a few minutes with my story... My partner and I have been together for just under 7 yrs now I am 40 and he is 36, I used to be a partier and go out often years ago and that's how we met and got together. Fast forward 6.5 yrs later and now I don't go out often (I own my own business and am extre...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi all, As many of you have read my posts, my AH has really been struggling this past week to put down the bottle. He ended up going back to the ER last Friday night (4th time in one week), and his vitals were so unstable he ended up in the ICU. He's still there. He plans to go into inpatient rehab (again) once h...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I just want to share a recent event, and am hoping for some input. My son is 17. He is immature for his age, and hangs with kids a year younger Overall, they are good kids (Boy Scouts and decent students) from families I respect. One family has a trailer out at the beach, and allowed their son to invite 4 fr...

Gaia · Gaia

I'm looking for a quet/low volume timer for our f2f meeting. People hate being interrupted by a loud beep or loud beeps when their time is up -- I've looked at meditation timers but they're very expensive. Does anyone have a timer they use for their meeting that is not obnoxious?

babyfacedrey · babyfacedrey

My partner and I are both in recovery and both have accumulated enough 24 hours to have a great life together. We both openly talked about what we would do if either relapsed and had always agreed that the person that relapsed would leave our home. In July my partner relapsed and went missing for 48 hours...

Samsgram · Samsgram

You know this just feels too tough sometimes. I`am having a rough time minding my business and I think I always will when it comes to my grandaughter. My daughter really does seem to have the counselor siding with her btw. I had been babysitting 4-5 nights sometimes in a week. My mother offered to pay for...

jens · jens

Hello everyone! I am new at all of this. I'm not new at living with an alcoholic but I'm new at admiting it. I am an only child of two alcoholic parents. One who is a quiet drinker and one who is a loud drinker who doesn't hide it. I am now an adult with a family of my own and realizing how unhealthy it is!!!...

ljh · ljh

My sister is a serious alcoholic. and refuses to get help. She recently was given a car, until now, drinking and driving was not an issue. Yesterday she drove to my home, about 10 km, on a dark highway with a water bottle of straight vodka with her. She could barely walk, let alone drive. I drove her h...

Meuse · Meuse

I have been married to an AH for 2 years. I knew him 4 years before we started dating and even after we started dating he hid it from me. When we started getting serious he told me he was a "functional alcololic". I had no experience dealing with alcoholism. He told me that if I wanted to end t...

casa · casa

I need someone to chair for me on Tuesday night the 21st of September. I won't be able to do it that night, so I need coverage. Help? Pretty please? Thanks! Sara aka casa -- Edited by casa on Saturday 18th of September 2010 08:49:04 PM

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Therapy and program have brought some issues to a head for me. One is the looking for approval and deriving self esteem from outside myself (trying to please others so as to be complimented or well thought of by them, judging myself by comparing to others, looking for validation etc.). It has brought...

laciedeveya · laciedeveya

I GREW UP WITH PARENTS WHO WERE DRUG ADDICTS AND DRINKERS !! BUT MY BOYFRIEND IS ALSO A RECOVERYING ALCOHOLIC AND HAS BEEN 4 5 YEARS BUT THE THING IS I THINK I MAY BE MORE MESSED UP EMOTIONALLY THEN ALL OF THEM AND I NEED HELP IS WHERE TO LOOK?? WILL AL-ANON BE A PLACE 4 ME TO FIND SOME PEACE???

emp919 · emp919

After four days of lovingly detaching, my [dry drunk] husband asked me nervously last night asked me where I saw "us". I said I could only speak for myself, and that I was doing what I could to be well, and working on how I respond to things between us. I could tell he was really uncomfortable a...

Sammy · Sammy

How do I support my husband as he starts his recovery? I have to admit, I'm a little frustrated it had to come to this. He needs me and I am lost. My entire life has changed overnight. He deserves the best!

Dale · Dale

So it has been almost a year since my divorce, and I am still learning. Yesterday my councelor and I discussed a book Facing Love Addiction. We looked at how I was treated, and what I allowed, or rationalized. Saying it is ok....just dont leave me. I know I still have the tendacy to fall into a relationshi...

Katy · Katy

Well we have him home now, it was my husbands decision to invite him back with boundaries, I didn't agree he was ready I felt he should have come back when he had asked us for help himself, I could see my husband was hurting, our son was sinking fast, I think my husband rescued him too soon, just before his bo...

kath · kath

I get where I take almost everyone and everything people do personally. I know that I am the one with the problem, because there is no way that everyone could be that bad. I don't really understand what is going on, but everything offends me. I don't like being this way. I also start feeling like I am stup...

Maize · Maize

I haven't had such a good day in a long time. Well really this week has been quite good, but today seems great. I had a good day yesterday, I put myself first and did not worry so much about HIM. I had lunch with a good friend. I concentrated on work. I was on this board. I got home and he was sober! I mean...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am having my surgery soon; it will be on the 7th of October! I am so anxious but I know it is the right thing to do for me! If you pray, pray for me to come through it OK. I just want to be healthy & the pain to go away soon! I am dealing w/ so many other issues. I hope my HP helps me through. That's it for now! Lo...

Junko · Junko

Hi all, just when I've got your support on his cravings, ordered Getting Them Sober book and feeling more confident, he said something that made me utterly uncomfortable. He now wants to try to smoke pot in order to get rid of his cravings. I reacted, couldn't help it. I told him that I don't want him tell...

lyndebi · lyndebi

Lost Thursday. Yesterday I felt icky. But part of my stress is the dang cats keep coming in the doggy door. I have HORRIBLE cats. Imagine the worst manners... I have to have a doggy door with 8 dogs, a baby piglet and patagonian cavy who use it.Goes out to a big area full of chips. Anyway those little stress...

Cloudsea · Cloudsea

Hi, everyone: I just joined this forum a week or so ago. My AH of 22 years is now in recovery -- 2-1/2 months sober. When he first went into treatment, I was sick to death with pain, hurt and anger. It was only when he entered treatment that I fully realized how much he had been lying to me about his drinkin...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Law of the Garbage Truck One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car w...

Aloha · Aloha

Lately my head's been pulling me back to my exAH a lot. Digging up old wounds, gnawing on them and moaning and groaning about them, then telling me "Well, he was an a**hole anyway. He's so screwed up. He's this. He's that. He should. He never. He! He! HE!!" I finally, THANKFULLY, start to see h...

fishinmama · fishinmama

OK OK OK!! I haven't done a lot of sharing here lately, but have stuck with my ftf meetings. My son is still sober and working hard at it. The trouble I have is with me ( this really isn't a revalation here :) ). So long my life has been about the a's when I started here most of my posts were about them. The...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

have actually felt good some moments of some days......I'm not sure what to attribute this too. Although I'm aware the biology has something to do with this....I feel that some good thinking and happy moments have helped. Spent an evening in my favorite place with favorite people (daughter and do...

RLC · RLC

It's been 8 days since Hotrod has checked in to the MIP site. Has anyone heard from her? I sent her a PM 4 days ago but have not received a response. It's unusual because she usually checks in daily with her valuable ES&H. Thanks and HUGS, RLC -- Edited by RLC on Thursday 16th of September 2010 0...

Jerry F · Jerry F

This subject came up in an earlier post and another respected MIP fellow and I discussed it. That part of communications which is body language. I may have gotten all I needed from inside the rooms of Al-Anon but 5 years into program I also chose to go to college regarding the disease and topices o...

emp919 · emp919

I thought I hit "submit post" but I am not sure if I did it right so forgive me if this is already somewhere on the board. I read another post by a member regarding dry drunks (quoted below) and wanted to post my own current situation... LIGHTBULB wrote: My husband is a dry drunk - he used to be suc...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

My therapy sessions and homework assignments from them (yes, can you believe it? ) has made me think about my feelings alot. I've discovered some things about that. 1. I'm so used to being depressed or anxious or angry, that when I'm not feeling those things I feel pretty numb. Not completely so, bu...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I don't understand the 12 steps? (Preview) I have constantly gone to my husband and apologized time and time again. I often apologize for things that aren't even my doing. First I try to reason with him when that doesn't work I am usually the one that apologizes. Aren't we supposed to do this as part of the 12 steps. Isn't this making him feel...	dori711	14	1035	Sep 23, 2010 by wp
	Is there a danger of sharing too much? (Preview) Some people may consider my message here very dark and unpleasant. I'm just trying to understand what had happened to me. Please correct me if I had been wrong in my analysis here... I had befriended with several alanon friends, and have been surprised by their behaviors toward me. During the m...	BostonFern	15	1399	Sep 23, 2010 by wp
	Am I an enabler? (Preview) I'll give you a quick background. My brother just got out of jail Saturday AM. He was in for 60 days for violating parole (drinking). He was out for two weeks to the day before being picked up. Before that, he served a 1 year sentence for his 4th DUI. He served a 6 month sentence about two years ago for his 3rd...	NCSUgeology	14	3791	Sep 23, 2010 by wp
	Binge drinking becoming greater (Preview) First let me say I am thankful for a site like this where I can express my concerns and know you will share the benefit of your experience. My husband of 20 years has developed a binge drinking pattern and it really has me on edge. He is a well liked, professional man who is fortunately a funny, mellow dru...	clm	7	1511	Sep 23, 2010 by clm
	Concerning posting about the sick actress (Preview) I found this post made me uncomfortable. NO offense to my friend Diva. It is MY experience that we do not gossip about others here on MIP. She is no different than anyone else. She is sick. How many times do we read on here from our dear sis and bros that their A drank on the way home, or was back on drugs in a wee...	lyndebi	9	1045	Sep 23, 2010 by prisca
	Owning my power.... (Preview) I have read about not letting people have power over me, and so I am working on this. I am important and for all of my life, I have never felt important. Til now. I have given up my power to everyone, my abusers as a child, friends, family, boyfriends, husbands.... I become enamored or intimidated by p...	Maize	2	498	Sep 23, 2010 by Maize
	My divorce is now final (Preview) I got a phone call yesterday from my ex-AH while I was at work. He told me he got some paperwork from the court and was wondering what it was. He made me nervous when he said it had a bunch of marks on it. I asked him "is it stamped?" He confirmed that the paperwork was stamped. That was GOOD news. It...	Aloha	9	1108	Sep 23, 2010 by xeno59
	Ok....please help me with some ES&H.... (Preview) I am having a good day. I have felt strong all day. I have stayed in the moment here at work. I did not argue or let my ex-husband get to me this morning when he and I exchanged our son. My photography partner and I are working out our differences. I am in the moment. I feel pretty happy. My abf just call...	Maize	14	776	Sep 23, 2010 by Cloudsea
	I am a mess as my ex attempts to make amends.... (Preview) A bit of background...I was married to an alcoholic for 19 years and have 3 kids with him. I finally left 3 years ago after living with it all of those years and him never being able to stop drinking for more than 2 weeks. He went downhill rapidly after I left him and was very angry and agressive towards me fo...	confused43	10	5347	Sep 22, 2010 by confused43
	Advice on Encouraging Teenage Son to Attend Alanon for Teen Meetings (Preview) I need some advice on encouraging my 13 year old son to attend alanon for teens meetings. His father is an alcoholic. My son asked to attend alanon meetings over a year ago (that's how I got started attending the meetings for adults). He went to about five and decided (and rightly so) that the meeting...	Julia	5	1069	Sep 22, 2010 by Andrea12
	ups and downs.... (Preview) Overall I'm feeling ok...better would be accurate too....I'm not as depressed as I was a few weeks back...I feel sort of numb....but there have been some positives I see in myself lately. 1. Time seems to have slowed down...I'm feeling more in the moment than I usually do. 2. I feel relaxed. 3. I've...	mjhyankees	6	574	Sep 22, 2010 by mjhyankees
	HAAPPY BIRTHDAY!! (Preview) TO JERRYF!!! Have a wonderful day Jerry and thank you for being you!! YOU ROCK, BROTHER!!!!	Christy	19	1623	Sep 22, 2010 by Maize
	Newbie - advice (Preview) Hello - I am very new to the concept of recovery and looking for advice (or affirmation or guidance)... My husband of 4 years is an alcoholic - but has not been able to admit it until recently - and it is this recent admission that I am struggling with. I have set boundaries only to give in with respect to h...	Colnago Gal	7	723	Sep 22, 2010 by Mary Glen Scot
	Having a hard day... I don't know anymore (Preview) This has nothing to do with the ABF in my life. It has to do with my exhusband and his abusive ways still effecting me. Why do I let him have that kind of power over me? Today while we exchanged our child (I drive my son to meet the ex for school so I can get to work on time), he had a problem with what my son was w...	Maize	9	833	Sep 22, 2010 by Maize
	In need of Alone Fun :) (Preview) Still not Feeling OK... Sickness is lingering, I have been trying to move around a little more today, but just can't seem to find the energy to do it... Funny how when I am sick I can see all the things I never slow down to look at... Like ME for instantace... resently I have been SLOWLY Hacking away at my...	Jozie	7	721	Sep 21, 2010 by Jerry F
	Let God know I'm not so bad.... (Preview) I have a doc appointment today at 11am. He has requested my presence. I had a bunch of blood work done a few weeks back and then was hospitalized for a few days with a lupus flare. He got results and wants me in the office. Never has this happened, usually over the phone is good. My mind is in overdrive....	lizzakiss	6	935	Sep 21, 2010 by Christy
	For anyone interested: Deck update.... (Preview) This year's work is done. I have another deck i need to do next year but the one I targeted for this year is done. Did it come out great? Not really.....no carpenter is going to marvel at my skills. However I'd also say I'm not embarrassed by the work I did. Overall pretty decent, quite functional and...	mjhyankees	3	741	Sep 21, 2010 by lyndebi
	I want to leave today...hope I can (Preview) I have realized while in this program just how happy I want to be and that this disease shatters all hope for that. I am sooo sick of the drama that comes from this and the endless lies and betrayals. Tonight I just realized that I dont have to be this unhappy and that this life was not chosen for me, it was cho...	kablisnow	4	781	Sep 21, 2010 by Maize
	It's all my fault (Preview) He still drinks several times a week. He says I blame him for everything and that there is something wrong with me and that the kids think so too and that I'm selfish. That really hurt but as I was thinking it over, I realized that I've been trying to help my husband and children with their problems almos...	dori711	13	1334	Sep 21, 2010 by dori711
	New and not sure what to do.... (Preview) I have been dealing with my 23 year old daughter off and on now for the past 6 years with her drinking. She will not get help and has already gone through a program. She says she will not stop .	MK	7	920	Sep 21, 2010 by xeno59
	Surprisingly, I'm at peace right now... (Preview) It's been one helluva week! But, by the grace of God and thanks to the program and you wonderful people here at MIP, I'm doing pretty good. I think my AH is the worse he's ever been. He's been to the hospital 3 times this week for alcohol poisoning - has walked out each time against medical advice. The last t...	stopandchat	9	759	Sep 21, 2010 by Maize
	No idea what to call this topic :) (Preview) I guess I just feel to share this after reading "but for the grace of god go I" post. My son who is now 18 and in his first year of college was very affected by something that his high school did every three months. Two AA speakers came to share their stories in the auditorium every three months...	DreamXL	7	693	Sep 21, 2010 by rainbojo66
	Need Advice ASAP! (Preview) Hi All....Long story short..... My husband has been abusing alcohol for years. He doesn't get physical or mean, he's just "that" drunk guy at a social event. He's blacked out, passed out and always swears he's going to get help when he sobers up. He hasn't and just seems unhappy with his lif...	cleanlivin	8	1196	Sep 21, 2010 by hotrod
	Not letting it bother me (Preview) I will be reading all of the posts I missed today when I get home tonight... But for now, I just wanted to say that my exhusband (the abusive one) was stirring up crap today. At first for about 10 minutes, it really bothered me. Then somehow, I began to look at it a different way. I was able to turn it arou...	Maize	3	771	Sep 20, 2010 by tlcate
	I left him (Preview) So today I followed through on what I had threatened and thought about for the past few months now. I left. The apartment looked so sad with my stuff gone. My xbf-sober has 9 years but most of it was just as a dry drunk. The past few months he had been making meetings on a regular basis and recently got a...	lizzakiss	15	1265	Sep 20, 2010 by tlcate
	Literature Suggestion (Preview) Hey Everyone! It's been a while since I've been on here. I've been busy working my program with an amazing Sponsor. I'm checking to see if anyone can recommend some Al-Anon literature for me. So far I've read: Paths to Recovery How Al-Anon Works From Survival to Recovery Discovering Choices Forum F...	N8SMOM	5	673	Sep 20, 2010 by tlcate
	Amount of time to share? How does your f2f group do it? (Preview) I posted another thread about looking for a timer...but this made me wonder... How does your f2f (if you have one) deal with time? Is it open time sharing? Or do you set a time boundary? In what way? And if yes, how do you "enforce" it? And if someone continually takes up more than their a...	Gaia	4	3201	Sep 20, 2010 by hotrod
	Frustrated and Hurt (Preview) As many of you know, my life is dedicated to trying to provide a safe haven for alcoholics, addicts and their families who have a desire to recover; Both online with the MIP web site and here in Wilmington, NC with the MIP recovery homes. Well, this past Friday I came home to find the police (7 cars) in fr...	John	20	1064	Sep 20, 2010 by hotrod
	One of those Days... (Preview) Feeling Rather Blaahhh Zayyy Today :( Think I have caught the latest "bug" that has been pasted around through out my family and today is def. my day for it :( My Weekend left me with ALOT of Growing in the program, and using my tools, Had plans for a little over a month, (and put down some things...	Jozie	3	795	Sep 20, 2010 by hotrod
	In Need of Some Prayers Please (Preview) (((((((Friends))))))))))))) Took my mom today to get a biopsy of her tongue. We woln't know the results until Wednesday. I am asking all to send a prayer please. She is the glue that holds this family together. She is sometimes a pain in my rear but I love her with all I am. My mom is giving, caring, lo...	Andrea12	15	1121	Sep 20, 2010 by hotrod
	New (Preview) Let me bend you ear for a few minutes with my story... My partner and I have been together for just under 7 yrs now I am 40 and he is 36, I used to be a partier and go out often years ago and that's how we met and got together. Fast forward 6.5 yrs later and now I don't go out often (I own my own business and am extre...	dcjjp1	4	818	Sep 20, 2010 by maresie
	Feeling guilty about leaving my AH... (Preview) Hi all, As many of you have read my posts, my AH has really been struggling this past week to put down the bottle. He ended up going back to the ER last Friday night (4th time in one week), and his vitals were so unstable he ended up in the ICU. He's still there. He plans to go into inpatient rehab (again) once h...	stopandchat	6	705	Sep 20, 2010 by Bettina
	But for the Grace of God go I... (Preview) I just want to share a recent event, and am hoping for some input. My son is 17. He is immature for his age, and hangs with kids a year younger Overall, they are good kids (Boy Scouts and decent students) from families I respect. One family has a trailer out at the beach, and allowed their son to invite 4 fr...	Loupiness	5	1009	Sep 20, 2010 by Karilynn
	Looking for a quiet low volume timer for f2f meeting...anybody have a suggestion? (Preview) I'm looking for a quet/low volume timer for our f2f meeting. People hate being interrupted by a loud beep or loud beeps when their time is up -- I've looked at meditation timers but they're very expensive. Does anyone have a timer they use for their meeting that is not obnoxious?	Gaia	6	1360	Sep 20, 2010 by abbyal
	Removed the addict from my life and home. What next? How do I cope with this grief? (Preview) My partner and I are both in recovery and both have accumulated enough 24 hours to have a great life together. We both openly talked about what we would do if either relapsed and had always agreed that the person that relapsed would leave our home. In July my partner relapsed and went missing for 48 hours...	babyfacedrey	16	1134	Sep 19, 2010 by Samsgram
	Just Can`t Seem To Get Going W/ The Program (Preview) You know this just feels too tough sometimes. I`am having a rough time minding my business and I think I always will when it comes to my grandaughter. My daughter really does seem to have the counselor siding with her btw. I had been babysitting 4-5 nights sometimes in a week. My mother offered to pay for...	Samsgram	7	949	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	New at this.... (Preview) Hello everyone! I am new at all of this. I'm not new at living with an alcoholic but I'm new at admiting it. I am an only child of two alcoholic parents. One who is a quiet drinker and one who is a loud drinker who doesn't hide it. I am now an adult with a family of my own and realizing how unhealthy it is!!!...	jens	7	777	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	need help with someone's drinking and driving (Preview) My sister is a serious alcoholic. and refuses to get help. She recently was given a car, until now, drinking and driving was not an issue. Yesterday she drove to my home, about 10 km, on a dark highway with a water bottle of straight vodka with her. She could barely walk, let alone drive. I drove her h...	ljh	7	994	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	First time talking about my AH (Preview) I have been married to an AH for 2 years. I knew him 4 years before we started dating and even after we started dating he hid it from me. When we started getting serious he told me he was a "functional alcololic". I had no experience dealing with alcoholism. He told me that if I wanted to end t...	Meuse	8	952	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Help please! (Preview) I need someone to chair for me on Tuesday night the 21st of September. I won't be able to do it that night, so I need coverage. Help? Pretty please? Thanks! Sara aka casa -- Edited by casa on Saturday 18th of September 2010 08:49:04 PM	casa	1	549	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Working on issues...... (Preview) Therapy and program have brought some issues to a head for me. One is the looking for approval and deriving self esteem from outside myself (trying to please others so as to be complimented or well thought of by them, judging myself by comparing to others, looking for validation etc.). It has brought...	mjhyankees	4	648	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	IS AL-ANON RIGHT 4 ME?? (Preview) I GREW UP WITH PARENTS WHO WERE DRUG ADDICTS AND DRINKERS !! BUT MY BOYFRIEND IS ALSO A RECOVERYING ALCOHOLIC AND HAS BEEN 4 5 YEARS BUT THE THING IS I THINK I MAY BE MORE MESSED UP EMOTIONALLY THEN ALL OF THEM AND I NEED HELP IS WHERE TO LOOK?? WILL AL-ANON BE A PLACE 4 ME TO FIND SOME PEACE???	laciedeveya	8	795	Sep 19, 2010 by tealexis
	he is feeling threatened as I change; need wisdom -LONG- (Preview) After four days of lovingly detaching, my [dry drunk] husband asked me nervously last night asked me where I saw "us". I said I could only speak for myself, and that I was doing what I could to be well, and working on how I respond to things between us. I could tell he was really uncomfortable a...	emp919	12	1101	Sep 19, 2010 by tealexis
	New to Al a Non and Lost! (Preview) How do I support my husband as he starts his recovery? I have to admit, I'm a little frustrated it had to come to this. He needs me and I am lost. My entire life has changed overnight. He deserves the best!	Sammy	13	796	Sep 19, 2010 by tealexis
	Dale's life (Preview) So it has been almost a year since my divorce, and I am still learning. Yesterday my councelor and I discussed a book Facing Love Addiction. We looked at how I was treated, and what I allowed, or rationalized. Saying it is ok....just dont leave me. I know I still have the tendacy to fall into a relationshi...	Dale	6	726	Sep 19, 2010 by tlcate
	update on our son! (Preview) Well we have him home now, it was my husbands decision to invite him back with boundaries, I didn't agree he was ready I felt he should have come back when he had asked us for help himself, I could see my husband was hurting, our son was sinking fast, I think my husband rescued him too soon, just before his bo...	Katy	6	478	Sep 18, 2010 by Andrea12
	taking everything personal (Preview) I get where I take almost everyone and everything people do personally. I know that I am the one with the problem, because there is no way that everyone could be that bad. I don't really understand what is going on, but everything offends me. I don't like being this way. I also start feeling like I am stup...	kath	8	858	Sep 18, 2010 by Carley01
	Today I am feeling good (Preview) I haven't had such a good day in a long time. Well really this week has been quite good, but today seems great. I had a good day yesterday, I put myself first and did not worry so much about HIM. I had lunch with a good friend. I concentrated on work. I was on this board. I got home and he was sober! I mean...	Maize	5	558	Sep 18, 2010 by Tattyhead
	surgery soon; I will keep you posted! (Preview) I am having my surgery soon; it will be on the 7th of October! I am so anxious but I know it is the right thing to do for me! If you pray, pray for me to come through it OK. I just want to be healthy & the pain to go away soon! I am dealing w/ so many other issues. I hope my HP helps me through. That's it for now! Lo...	Hoot Nanny	5	1389	Sep 18, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Addictive personality (Preview) Hi all, just when I've got your support on his cravings, ordered Getting Them Sober book and feeling more confident, he said something that made me utterly uncomfortable. He now wants to try to smoke pot in order to get rid of his cravings. I reacted, couldn't help it. I told him that I don't want him tell...	Junko	7	772	Sep 18, 2010 by xeno59
	Friday (Preview) Lost Thursday. Yesterday I felt icky. But part of my stress is the dang cats keep coming in the doggy door. I have HORRIBLE cats. Imagine the worst manners... I have to have a doggy door with 8 dogs, a baby piglet and patagonian cavy who use it.Goes out to a big area full of chips. Anyway those little stress...	lyndebi	3	685	Sep 18, 2010 by xeno59
	Feeling oddly more peaceful (Preview) Hi, everyone: I just joined this forum a week or so ago. My AH of 22 years is now in recovery -- 2-1/2 months sober. When he first went into treatment, I was sick to death with pain, hurt and anger. It was only when he entered treatment that I fully realized how much he had been lying to me about his drinkin...	Cloudsea	7	796	Sep 18, 2010 by xeno59
	Garbage Truck Law (Preview) Law of the Garbage Truck One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car w...	Peggy7	8	798	Sep 18, 2010 by Dale
	Okay... so what about ME!? (Preview) Lately my head's been pulling me back to my exAH a lot. Digging up old wounds, gnawing on them and moaning and groaning about them, then telling me "Well, he was an a**hole anyway. He's so screwed up. He's this. He's that. He should. He never. He! He! HE!!" I finally, THANKFULLY, start to see h...	Aloha	3	678	Sep 17, 2010 by lyndebi
	It's all about me (Preview) OK OK OK!! I haven't done a lot of sharing here lately, but have stuck with my ftf meetings. My son is still sober and working hard at it. The trouble I have is with me ( this really isn't a revalation here :) ). So long my life has been about the a's when I started here most of my posts were about them. The...	fishinmama	2	588	Sep 17, 2010 by Cloudsea
	breaks in the clouds........ (Preview) have actually felt good some moments of some days......I'm not sure what to attribute this too. Although I'm aware the biology has something to do with this....I feel that some good thinking and happy moments have helped. Spent an evening in my favorite place with favorite people (daughter and do...	mjhyankees	5	754	Sep 17, 2010 by xeno59
	HOTROD ????? (Preview) It's been 8 days since Hotrod has checked in to the MIP site. Has anyone heard from her? I sent her a PM 4 days ago but have not received a response. It's unusual because she usually checks in daily with her valuable ES&H. Thanks and HUGS, RLC -- Edited by RLC on Thursday 16th of September 2010 0...	RLC	3	629	Sep 17, 2010 by RLC
	Communications... (Preview) This subject came up in an earlier post and another respected MIP fellow and I discussed it. That part of communications which is body language. I may have gotten all I needed from inside the rooms of Al-Anon but 5 years into program I also chose to go to college regarding the disease and topices o...	Jerry F	10	947	Sep 16, 2010 by Peggy7
	on dry drunks, honesty and paradigm shifts (Preview) I thought I hit "submit post" but I am not sure if I did it right so forgive me if this is already somewhere on the board. I read another post by a member regarding dry drunks (quoted below) and wanted to post my own current situation... LIGHTBULB wrote: My husband is a dry drunk - he used to be suc...	emp919	6	1177	Sep 16, 2010 by maresie
	Feelings.......... (Preview) My therapy sessions and homework assignments from them (yes, can you believe it? ) has made me think about my feelings alot. I've discovered some things about that. 1. I'm so used to being depressed or anxious or angry, that when I'm not feeling those things I feel pretty numb. Not completely so, bu...	mjhyankees	6	642	Sep 16, 2010 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.