Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Loupiness · Loupiness

I just want to share a recent event, and am hoping for some input. My son is 17. He is immature for his age, and hangs with kids a year younger Overall, they are good kids (Boy Scouts and decent students) from families I respect. One family has a trailer out at the beach, and allowed their son to invite 4 fr...

Gaia · Gaia

I'm looking for a quet/low volume timer for our f2f meeting. People hate being interrupted by a loud beep or loud beeps when their time is up -- I've looked at meditation timers but they're very expensive. Does anyone have a timer they use for their meeting that is not obnoxious?

babyfacedrey · babyfacedrey

My partner and I are both in recovery and both have accumulated enough 24 hours to have a great life together. We both openly talked about what we would do if either relapsed and had always agreed that the person that relapsed would leave our home. In July my partner relapsed and went missing for 48 hours...

Samsgram · Samsgram

You know this just feels too tough sometimes. I`am having a rough time minding my business and I think I always will when it comes to my grandaughter. My daughter really does seem to have the counselor siding with her btw. I had been babysitting 4-5 nights sometimes in a week. My mother offered to pay for...

jens · jens

Hello everyone! I am new at all of this. I'm not new at living with an alcoholic but I'm new at admiting it. I am an only child of two alcoholic parents. One who is a quiet drinker and one who is a loud drinker who doesn't hide it. I am now an adult with a family of my own and realizing how unhealthy it is!!!...

ljh · ljh

My sister is a serious alcoholic. and refuses to get help. She recently was given a car, until now, drinking and driving was not an issue. Yesterday she drove to my home, about 10 km, on a dark highway with a water bottle of straight vodka with her. She could barely walk, let alone drive. I drove her h...

Meuse · Meuse

I have been married to an AH for 2 years. I knew him 4 years before we started dating and even after we started dating he hid it from me. When we started getting serious he told me he was a "functional alcololic". I had no experience dealing with alcoholism. He told me that if I wanted to end t...

casa · casa

I need someone to chair for me on Tuesday night the 21st of September. I won't be able to do it that night, so I need coverage. Help? Pretty please? Thanks! Sara aka casa -- Edited by casa on Saturday 18th of September 2010 08:49:04 PM

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Therapy and program have brought some issues to a head for me. One is the looking for approval and deriving self esteem from outside myself (trying to please others so as to be complimented or well thought of by them, judging myself by comparing to others, looking for validation etc.). It has brought...

laciedeveya · laciedeveya

I GREW UP WITH PARENTS WHO WERE DRUG ADDICTS AND DRINKERS !! BUT MY BOYFRIEND IS ALSO A RECOVERYING ALCOHOLIC AND HAS BEEN 4 5 YEARS BUT THE THING IS I THINK I MAY BE MORE MESSED UP EMOTIONALLY THEN ALL OF THEM AND I NEED HELP IS WHERE TO LOOK?? WILL AL-ANON BE A PLACE 4 ME TO FIND SOME PEACE???

emp919 · emp919

After four days of lovingly detaching, my [dry drunk] husband asked me nervously last night asked me where I saw "us". I said I could only speak for myself, and that I was doing what I could to be well, and working on how I respond to things between us. I could tell he was really uncomfortable a...

Sammy · Sammy

How do I support my husband as he starts his recovery? I have to admit, I'm a little frustrated it had to come to this. He needs me and I am lost. My entire life has changed overnight. He deserves the best!

Dale · Dale

So it has been almost a year since my divorce, and I am still learning. Yesterday my councelor and I discussed a book Facing Love Addiction. We looked at how I was treated, and what I allowed, or rationalized. Saying it is ok....just dont leave me. I know I still have the tendacy to fall into a relationshi...

Katy · Katy

Well we have him home now, it was my husbands decision to invite him back with boundaries, I didn't agree he was ready I felt he should have come back when he had asked us for help himself, I could see my husband was hurting, our son was sinking fast, I think my husband rescued him too soon, just before his bo...

kath · kath

I get where I take almost everyone and everything people do personally. I know that I am the one with the problem, because there is no way that everyone could be that bad. I don't really understand what is going on, but everything offends me. I don't like being this way. I also start feeling like I am stup...

Maize · Maize

I haven't had such a good day in a long time. Well really this week has been quite good, but today seems great. I had a good day yesterday, I put myself first and did not worry so much about HIM. I had lunch with a good friend. I concentrated on work. I was on this board. I got home and he was sober! I mean...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am having my surgery soon; it will be on the 7th of October! I am so anxious but I know it is the right thing to do for me! If you pray, pray for me to come through it OK. I just want to be healthy & the pain to go away soon! I am dealing w/ so many other issues. I hope my HP helps me through. That's it for now! Lo...

Junko · Junko

Hi all, just when I've got your support on his cravings, ordered Getting Them Sober book and feeling more confident, he said something that made me utterly uncomfortable. He now wants to try to smoke pot in order to get rid of his cravings. I reacted, couldn't help it. I told him that I don't want him tell...

lyndebi · lyndebi

Lost Thursday. Yesterday I felt icky. But part of my stress is the dang cats keep coming in the doggy door. I have HORRIBLE cats. Imagine the worst manners... I have to have a doggy door with 8 dogs, a baby piglet and patagonian cavy who use it.Goes out to a big area full of chips. Anyway those little stress...

Cloudsea · Cloudsea

Hi, everyone: I just joined this forum a week or so ago. My AH of 22 years is now in recovery -- 2-1/2 months sober. When he first went into treatment, I was sick to death with pain, hurt and anger. It was only when he entered treatment that I fully realized how much he had been lying to me about his drinkin...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Law of the Garbage Truck One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car w...

Aloha · Aloha

Lately my head's been pulling me back to my exAH a lot. Digging up old wounds, gnawing on them and moaning and groaning about them, then telling me "Well, he was an a**hole anyway. He's so screwed up. He's this. He's that. He should. He never. He! He! HE!!" I finally, THANKFULLY, start to see h...

fishinmama · fishinmama

OK OK OK!! I haven't done a lot of sharing here lately, but have stuck with my ftf meetings. My son is still sober and working hard at it. The trouble I have is with me ( this really isn't a revalation here :) ). So long my life has been about the a's when I started here most of my posts were about them. The...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

have actually felt good some moments of some days......I'm not sure what to attribute this too. Although I'm aware the biology has something to do with this....I feel that some good thinking and happy moments have helped. Spent an evening in my favorite place with favorite people (daughter and do...

RLC · RLC

It's been 8 days since Hotrod has checked in to the MIP site. Has anyone heard from her? I sent her a PM 4 days ago but have not received a response. It's unusual because she usually checks in daily with her valuable ES&H. Thanks and HUGS, RLC -- Edited by RLC on Thursday 16th of September 2010 0...

Jerry F · Jerry F

This subject came up in an earlier post and another respected MIP fellow and I discussed it. That part of communications which is body language. I may have gotten all I needed from inside the rooms of Al-Anon but 5 years into program I also chose to go to college regarding the disease and topices o...

emp919 · emp919

I thought I hit "submit post" but I am not sure if I did it right so forgive me if this is already somewhere on the board. I read another post by a member regarding dry drunks (quoted below) and wanted to post my own current situation... LIGHTBULB wrote: My husband is a dry drunk - he used to be suc...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

My therapy sessions and homework assignments from them (yes, can you believe it? ) has made me think about my feelings alot. I've discovered some things about that. 1. I'm so used to being depressed or anxious or angry, that when I'm not feeling those things I feel pretty numb. Not completely so, bu...

PAH123 · PAH123

Why, when the breakdown of a relationship is due to their A issues, do they always act so hurt when you point it out? Perhaps it's not correct to do so but, when it's so obvious that the A is trying to turn the tables to take the focus off them, sometimes, I can't hold back. It pisses me off and I have to say som...

Maize · Maize

My addiction to him that is. I need to re-focus and be gentle on myself. If he drinks, I can't do anything about it. If he doesn't answer his cell when I call it, I have to get something else to do. WHen I get home tonight I will find something to do that doesn't revolve around my obsession. I am trying to...

applecake · applecake

Hi. I didn't go away. Well I guess I did for a while. But I've been going to F2F meetings and I just wanted to check in here. Honestly, it's hard to go to the meetings, and hard to post here. It's like, reminding myself of the whole reality that I already live with anyway! I don't want to live telling my...

Rora · Rora

After 2 weeks and just as I was getting used to the idea of my exaH's decision to have nothing to do with our son, today I get an email from him: Starting this Monday I would like to start seeing (child). If Mondays don't work for you then we will have to pick another day that works for both of us. I would pick h...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

It's probably my own issues that I'm reading into everything too much, but I get the distinct feeling that my therapist and many alanonites are hinting that I'm going to be alone or lonely (by this I mean "no partner", no intimate relationship etc.) for the rest of my life and that I sh...

stopandchat · stopandchat

I've been separated from my AH, and have decided that I can no longer live with his disease. I've talked to an attorney about divorce, and I have signed a lease on a new place, and plan to move in a couple of weeks. My AH called me on Friday, and asked if I could help him because he had fallen and hit his head. I d...

lyndebi · lyndebi

It has dawned on me, I am ill, that I am NOT even interested in doing anything for anyone anymore. It is like I am beyond full. this may be long and boring... Been working on a home loan mod for so long I have no idea how long. THIS time I have a mortgage recovery guy doing it. I just could not handle the mistakes...

overit · overit

I've had issues with drinking myself some years ago-was able to get it under control w/out outside help...it wasn't true alcoholism..but I binge/comfort drank after my divorce and healing from a very abusive marriage. I spent 6 years on my own and workign on things before meeting my now bf. I stil...

RLC · RLC

Numbers vary but statistics say that six or more people are affected by each alcoholic. Each of you can come up with the number that relates in your particular case. The number is arrived at by considering family members, friends, employers, co-workers, and others who are affected. I don't know the...

Sanity in the making · Sanity in the making

I love the Courage to Change book!!! Reading this book lately has shown me how to have the courage to speak up when I need to instead of just stewing in the crap. I have a voice too and when things are said or done that I either don't understand or appreciate I can say, "hey wait a minute, I don't think I...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Well, I posted the other day about how my 7 year old grandaughter confided in me about how scared she had been when she was driving with her mother(my d) last week. She had been telling me how fast the car was going, over 90 and close to 100mph and weaving in and out of different lanes of traffic on the highw...

Rora · Rora

I've done a lot of reflecting on my life lately, since deciding to move forward with life without my aH. Life is beginning to be very different, in a good way, mostly. I still have sadness. But I know that I am heading in the right direction and I have reason to be hopeful for my future again. When I refle...

Jerry F · Jerry F

LOL!! I rarely if ever get physically ill especially with flus or colds or the like and am now experiencing what that feels like again. I've been blessed for such a long time that this brings up gratitude for all of the past years I've been free of bugs. My spouse offered to make me some chicken soup and I...

Junko · Junko

My recovering AH said he has gone through the Pink Cloud and is now having cravings. He had a quite serious one on Friday although he went to the meeting earlier that evening. I noticed he was a bit irritable when he came back but I didn't ask him how he was. Instead, he told me. I listened to him, asked him fe...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I just don't get it. I thought I was starting to, but I was wrong. Most of the time I've known/been with my X-bf he was a dry drunk. When I met him he had just gotten his 6 year coin and did attend meetings pretty regularly though that was it (no sponsor, no step work, etc) That all ended when he had to get a s...

melcoulter · melcoulter

After 2 years in a relationship with an AH, I have lost all feelings for the person I once loved. We have been in treatment 4 separate times, for a total of 6 months out of that two year period. He is still working his own program, rarely going to meetings and his sponsor is his roomate, which makes me thin...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I know it takes time, I know I've got along way to go...but depression hit hard tonight....no precipitating event (that I can think of), just suddenly life seemed black again. I'm trying to find happiness within myself and so far coming up mostly empty....I can divert my attention at times doing thin...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

So my Abf-sober has gotten a sponsor and spends every night out with them. Leaves for a meeting an hour before it begins and then doesn't come in before midnight. He used to let me know when he would be going out after a meeting so I wouldn't worry. That has stopped. I'm sure it's normal to spend 4-5 hou...

stopandchat · stopandchat

I'm falling back into old, very bad habits. Namely, trying to save my AH. It's a bit of a paradox, because, I know that I just can't live with an active alcoholic anymore and that I am going to divorce him as soon as I get moved and have some extra money to file. On the other hand, I'm just so afraid he's going t...

kablisnow · kablisnow

I have been sick for awhile now and b/c his rehab and car accident tickets recently we have not had the money for me to take care of some issues I am b/c ... so I have been pretty under the weather these days. Ofcourse he nevers ask if Im ok or if I need something, just claims he doesnt understand. Almost as I a...

PAH123 · PAH123

Had a long talk with my AH today and it really feels, as much as I wanted to try to make things work, that it's over. Too much water under the bridge and I feel, a lack of enthusiasm when it comes to making the huge changes that need to be made in order for out marriage to survive. All I get is "I'll do my bes...

Lem · Lem

Hi Folks, Awhile back I posted and someone replied with information on how to look into getting a sponsor on-line. I'm having some trouble finding that information right now (I'm tired and can't remember the date.) Can someone please tell me what to do? I appreciate everyone. I hope that you al...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

This morning my wife got on my daughter's case...she wanted my daughter to eat fruit with breakfast and when my daughter ate a delmonte fruit cup my wife said "that's not real fruit you have to eat something else...." This is the type of thing that I will defend my daughter about. I told me...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Talked to therapist about transference issues I was having...basically she's the only woman I can remember that treated me well...... She was amazing...we discussed transference issue in depth...she assured me that she wouldn't abandon me and that we could use this to further my recovery....an...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been experiencing a lot of depression about spending the rest of my life not ever having children. I have so many regrets in life but the biggest one is not being able to have a child who could be I feel the reason why I am here. Does that make sense to anyone? I know that I could've loved a child & b...

maresie · maresie

The dance with the ex A was a very consuming one and on many levels I will be dealing with the after effects of that dance for a long long time to come. Nevertheless, on some level with my family, friends and other people I've been on that dance all my life, its familiar I know the roles and it feels like &quo...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Well here it is Sat. nite. I have had my 7 yr old grandaughter with me since Wed. I`am trying really hard to work the program and be a somewhat healthy person in this child`s life since she really hasn`t any other adults around. Tonight I kinda lost it when she started to tell me about her mother and how fa...

suzip · suzip

I am soooo looking forward to my face 2 face meeting tonight. Wasnt able to go last week unfortunately and really needed it. Sometimes as much as I want to stay positive and take each day as it comes, its a struggle. It is so helpful to get to that room and know that I am not the only one dealing with this rolle...

Maize · Maize

I started last Monday with terrible pains in my stomach on the lower right side. My abf, kids and I had just taken a nice walk in the woods on a trail. We got home and wham! My bf was the one that talked me into going to the hospital. While there, they discovered not appendicitis like we first thought but...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((((Friends)))))))))))), Ok, off the pitty pot took a minute. Now I am mad....and when I am mad move over...... I am mad at the evil people out there and I will not allow them to hurt me or my children anymore. If I have to I will just keep filing charges....they will get tired of paying a magistr...

Sanity in the making · Sanity in the making

I have been in Alanon for a few 24 hours. The A and I were doing "the deal" together at one point, but, at some point she turned her back on AA and has been "white knuckling" it for more than two years now. As the disease is progressive so is the behavior without active recovery. Sh...

LarryWhiteford · LarryWhiteford

anyone else having trouble?

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	But for the Grace of God go I... (Preview) I just want to share a recent event, and am hoping for some input. My son is 17. He is immature for his age, and hangs with kids a year younger Overall, they are good kids (Boy Scouts and decent students) from families I respect. One family has a trailer out at the beach, and allowed their son to invite 4 fr...	Loupiness	5	958	Sep 20, 2010 by Karilynn
	Looking for a quiet low volume timer for f2f meeting...anybody have a suggestion? (Preview) I'm looking for a quet/low volume timer for our f2f meeting. People hate being interrupted by a loud beep or loud beeps when their time is up -- I've looked at meditation timers but they're very expensive. Does anyone have a timer they use for their meeting that is not obnoxious?	Gaia	6	1314	Sep 20, 2010 by abbyal
	Removed the addict from my life and home. What next? How do I cope with this grief? (Preview) My partner and I are both in recovery and both have accumulated enough 24 hours to have a great life together. We both openly talked about what we would do if either relapsed and had always agreed that the person that relapsed would leave our home. In July my partner relapsed and went missing for 48 hours...	babyfacedrey	16	1072	Sep 19, 2010 by Samsgram
	Just Can`t Seem To Get Going W/ The Program (Preview) You know this just feels too tough sometimes. I`am having a rough time minding my business and I think I always will when it comes to my grandaughter. My daughter really does seem to have the counselor siding with her btw. I had been babysitting 4-5 nights sometimes in a week. My mother offered to pay for...	Samsgram	7	896	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	New at this.... (Preview) Hello everyone! I am new at all of this. I'm not new at living with an alcoholic but I'm new at admiting it. I am an only child of two alcoholic parents. One who is a quiet drinker and one who is a loud drinker who doesn't hide it. I am now an adult with a family of my own and realizing how unhealthy it is!!!...	jens	7	728	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	need help with someone's drinking and driving (Preview) My sister is a serious alcoholic. and refuses to get help. She recently was given a car, until now, drinking and driving was not an issue. Yesterday she drove to my home, about 10 km, on a dark highway with a water bottle of straight vodka with her. She could barely walk, let alone drive. I drove her h...	ljh	7	943	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	First time talking about my AH (Preview) I have been married to an AH for 2 years. I knew him 4 years before we started dating and even after we started dating he hid it from me. When we started getting serious he told me he was a "functional alcololic". I had no experience dealing with alcoholism. He told me that if I wanted to end t...	Meuse	8	904	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Help please! (Preview) I need someone to chair for me on Tuesday night the 21st of September. I won't be able to do it that night, so I need coverage. Help? Pretty please? Thanks! Sara aka casa -- Edited by casa on Saturday 18th of September 2010 08:49:04 PM	casa	1	498	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Working on issues...... (Preview) Therapy and program have brought some issues to a head for me. One is the looking for approval and deriving self esteem from outside myself (trying to please others so as to be complimented or well thought of by them, judging myself by comparing to others, looking for validation etc.). It has brought...	mjhyankees	4	601	Sep 19, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	IS AL-ANON RIGHT 4 ME?? (Preview) I GREW UP WITH PARENTS WHO WERE DRUG ADDICTS AND DRINKERS !! BUT MY BOYFRIEND IS ALSO A RECOVERYING ALCOHOLIC AND HAS BEEN 4 5 YEARS BUT THE THING IS I THINK I MAY BE MORE MESSED UP EMOTIONALLY THEN ALL OF THEM AND I NEED HELP IS WHERE TO LOOK?? WILL AL-ANON BE A PLACE 4 ME TO FIND SOME PEACE???	laciedeveya	8	744	Sep 19, 2010 by tealexis
	he is feeling threatened as I change; need wisdom -LONG- (Preview) After four days of lovingly detaching, my [dry drunk] husband asked me nervously last night asked me where I saw "us". I said I could only speak for myself, and that I was doing what I could to be well, and working on how I respond to things between us. I could tell he was really uncomfortable a...	emp919	12	1037	Sep 19, 2010 by tealexis
	New to Al a Non and Lost! (Preview) How do I support my husband as he starts his recovery? I have to admit, I'm a little frustrated it had to come to this. He needs me and I am lost. My entire life has changed overnight. He deserves the best!	Sammy	13	744	Sep 19, 2010 by tealexis
	Dale's life (Preview) So it has been almost a year since my divorce, and I am still learning. Yesterday my councelor and I discussed a book Facing Love Addiction. We looked at how I was treated, and what I allowed, or rationalized. Saying it is ok....just dont leave me. I know I still have the tendacy to fall into a relationshi...	Dale	6	662	Sep 19, 2010 by tlcate
	update on our son! (Preview) Well we have him home now, it was my husbands decision to invite him back with boundaries, I didn't agree he was ready I felt he should have come back when he had asked us for help himself, I could see my husband was hurting, our son was sinking fast, I think my husband rescued him too soon, just before his bo...	Katy	6	426	Sep 18, 2010 by Andrea12
	taking everything personal (Preview) I get where I take almost everyone and everything people do personally. I know that I am the one with the problem, because there is no way that everyone could be that bad. I don't really understand what is going on, but everything offends me. I don't like being this way. I also start feeling like I am stup...	kath	8	798	Sep 18, 2010 by Carley01
	Today I am feeling good (Preview) I haven't had such a good day in a long time. Well really this week has been quite good, but today seems great. I had a good day yesterday, I put myself first and did not worry so much about HIM. I had lunch with a good friend. I concentrated on work. I was on this board. I got home and he was sober! I mean...	Maize	5	502	Sep 18, 2010 by Tattyhead
	surgery soon; I will keep you posted! (Preview) I am having my surgery soon; it will be on the 7th of October! I am so anxious but I know it is the right thing to do for me! If you pray, pray for me to come through it OK. I just want to be healthy & the pain to go away soon! I am dealing w/ so many other issues. I hope my HP helps me through. That's it for now! Lo...	Hoot Nanny	5	1340	Sep 18, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Addictive personality (Preview) Hi all, just when I've got your support on his cravings, ordered Getting Them Sober book and feeling more confident, he said something that made me utterly uncomfortable. He now wants to try to smoke pot in order to get rid of his cravings. I reacted, couldn't help it. I told him that I don't want him tell...	Junko	7	725	Sep 18, 2010 by xeno59
	Friday (Preview) Lost Thursday. Yesterday I felt icky. But part of my stress is the dang cats keep coming in the doggy door. I have HORRIBLE cats. Imagine the worst manners... I have to have a doggy door with 8 dogs, a baby piglet and patagonian cavy who use it.Goes out to a big area full of chips. Anyway those little stress...	lyndebi	3	633	Sep 18, 2010 by xeno59
	Feeling oddly more peaceful (Preview) Hi, everyone: I just joined this forum a week or so ago. My AH of 22 years is now in recovery -- 2-1/2 months sober. When he first went into treatment, I was sick to death with pain, hurt and anger. It was only when he entered treatment that I fully realized how much he had been lying to me about his drinkin...	Cloudsea	7	748	Sep 18, 2010 by xeno59
	Garbage Truck Law (Preview) Law of the Garbage Truck One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car w...	Peggy7	8	752	Sep 18, 2010 by Dale
	Okay... so what about ME!? (Preview) Lately my head's been pulling me back to my exAH a lot. Digging up old wounds, gnawing on them and moaning and groaning about them, then telling me "Well, he was an a**hole anyway. He's so screwed up. He's this. He's that. He should. He never. He! He! HE!!" I finally, THANKFULLY, start to see h...	Aloha	3	630	Sep 17, 2010 by lyndebi
	It's all about me (Preview) OK OK OK!! I haven't done a lot of sharing here lately, but have stuck with my ftf meetings. My son is still sober and working hard at it. The trouble I have is with me ( this really isn't a revalation here :) ). So long my life has been about the a's when I started here most of my posts were about them. The...	fishinmama	2	540	Sep 17, 2010 by Cloudsea
	breaks in the clouds........ (Preview) have actually felt good some moments of some days......I'm not sure what to attribute this too. Although I'm aware the biology has something to do with this....I feel that some good thinking and happy moments have helped. Spent an evening in my favorite place with favorite people (daughter and do...	mjhyankees	5	695	Sep 17, 2010 by xeno59
	HOTROD ????? (Preview) It's been 8 days since Hotrod has checked in to the MIP site. Has anyone heard from her? I sent her a PM 4 days ago but have not received a response. It's unusual because she usually checks in daily with her valuable ES&H. Thanks and HUGS, RLC -- Edited by RLC on Thursday 16th of September 2010 0...	RLC	3	577	Sep 17, 2010 by RLC
	Communications... (Preview) This subject came up in an earlier post and another respected MIP fellow and I discussed it. That part of communications which is body language. I may have gotten all I needed from inside the rooms of Al-Anon but 5 years into program I also chose to go to college regarding the disease and topices o...	Jerry F	10	894	Sep 16, 2010 by Peggy7
	on dry drunks, honesty and paradigm shifts (Preview) I thought I hit "submit post" but I am not sure if I did it right so forgive me if this is already somewhere on the board. I read another post by a member regarding dry drunks (quoted below) and wanted to post my own current situation... LIGHTBULB wrote: My husband is a dry drunk - he used to be suc...	emp919	6	1127	Sep 16, 2010 by maresie
	Feelings.......... (Preview) My therapy sessions and homework assignments from them (yes, can you believe it? ) has made me think about my feelings alot. I've discovered some things about that. 1. I'm so used to being depressed or anxious or angry, that when I'm not feeling those things I feel pretty numb. Not completely so, bu...	mjhyankees	6	590	Sep 16, 2010 by maresie
	And around we go..... (Preview) Why, when the breakdown of a relationship is due to their A issues, do they always act so hurt when you point it out? Perhaps it's not correct to do so but, when it's so obvious that the A is trying to turn the tables to take the focus off them, sometimes, I can't hold back. It pisses me off and I have to say som...	PAH123	7	928	Sep 16, 2010 by PAH123
	Trying to learn to not let my addiction take over (Preview) My addiction to him that is. I need to re-focus and be gentle on myself. If he drinks, I can't do anything about it. If he doesn't answer his cell when I call it, I have to get something else to do. WHen I get home tonight I will find something to do that doesn't revolve around my obsession. I am trying to...	Maize	8	611	Sep 16, 2010 by Maize
	Checking in (Preview) Hi. I didn't go away. Well I guess I did for a while. But I've been going to F2F meetings and I just wanted to check in here. Honestly, it's hard to go to the meetings, and hard to post here. It's like, reminding myself of the whole reality that I already live with anyway! I don't want to live telling my...	applecake	3	571	Sep 15, 2010 by mjhyankees
	esh needed please (Preview) After 2 weeks and just as I was getting used to the idea of my exaH's decision to have nothing to do with our son, today I get an email from him: Starting this Monday I would like to start seeing (child). If Mondays don't work for you then we will have to pick another day that works for both of us. I would pick h...	Rora	7	784	Sep 15, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Alone forever??? (Preview) It's probably my own issues that I'm reading into everything too much, but I get the distinct feeling that my therapist and many alanonites are hinting that I'm going to be alone or lonely (by this I mean "no partner", no intimate relationship etc.) for the rest of my life and that I sh...	mjhyankees	11	1050	Sep 15, 2010 by mjhyankees
	I just can't seem to get away from my A... (Preview) I've been separated from my AH, and have decided that I can no longer live with his disease. I've talked to an attorney about divorce, and I have signed a lease on a new place, and plan to move in a couple of weeks. My AH called me on Friday, and asked if I could help him because he had fallen and hit his head. I d...	stopandchat	8	819	Sep 15, 2010 by Mattie
	May I vent? (Preview) It has dawned on me, I am ill, that I am NOT even interested in doing anything for anyone anymore. It is like I am beyond full. this may be long and boring... Been working on a home loan mod for so long I have no idea how long. THIS time I have a mortgage recovery guy doing it. I just could not handle the mistakes...	lyndebi	5	872	Sep 15, 2010 by lyndebi
	I'm new, I'm scared and don't know if I"m ready for this step. (Preview) I've had issues with drinking myself some years ago-was able to get it under control w/out outside help...it wasn't true alcoholism..but I binge/comfort drank after my divorce and healing from a very abusive marriage. I spent 6 years on my own and workign on things before meeting my now bf. I stil...	overit	7	729	Sep 15, 2010 by overit
	What are Your Thoughts and Opinion? (Preview) Numbers vary but statistics say that six or more people are affected by each alcoholic. Each of you can come up with the number that relates in your particular case. The number is arrived at by considering family members, friends, employers, co-workers, and others who are affected. I don't know the...	RLC	18	1321	Sep 15, 2010 by Cloudsea
	Have the courage to speak up!!! You have a voice too!!! (Preview) I love the Courage to Change book!!! Reading this book lately has shown me how to have the courage to speak up when I need to instead of just stewing in the crap. I have a voice too and when things are said or done that I either don't understand or appreciate I can say, "hey wait a minute, I don't think I...	Sanity in the making	4	671	Sep 15, 2010 by Jerry F
	Find Myself Angry Once Again at these Paid Professions.. (Preview) Well, I posted the other day about how my 7 year old grandaughter confided in me about how scared she had been when she was driving with her mother(my d) last week. She had been telling me how fast the car was going, over 90 and close to 100mph and weaving in and out of different lanes of traffic on the highw...	Samsgram	6	1090	Sep 15, 2010 by Jerry F
	Finished being the Orchestrator, now there's no performance... (Preview) I've done a lot of reflecting on my life lately, since deciding to move forward with life without my aH. Life is beginning to be very different, in a good way, mostly. I still have sadness. But I know that I am heading in the right direction and I have reason to be hopeful for my future again. When I refle...	Rora	9	781	Sep 15, 2010 by Maize
	Chicken Soup.... (Preview) LOL!! I rarely if ever get physically ill especially with flus or colds or the like and am now experiencing what that feels like again. I've been blessed for such a long time that this brings up gratitude for all of the past years I've been free of bugs. My spouse offered to make me some chicken soup and I...	Jerry F	9	958	Sep 15, 2010 by Karilynn
	Out of the Pink Cloud.. (Preview) My recovering AH said he has gone through the Pink Cloud and is now having cravings. He had a quite serious one on Friday although he went to the meeting earlier that evening. I noticed he was a bit irritable when he came back but I didn't ask him how he was. Instead, he told me. I listened to him, asked him fe...	Junko	13	1005	Sep 15, 2010 by Junko
	I just don't get it... anyone with experience out there? (Preview) I just don't get it. I thought I was starting to, but I was wrong. Most of the time I've known/been with my X-bf he was a dry drunk. When I met him he had just gotten his 6 year coin and did attend meetings pretty regularly though that was it (no sponsor, no step work, etc) That all ended when he had to get a s...	lizzakiss	4	842	Sep 14, 2010 by melcoulter
	Trying to walk away (Preview) After 2 years in a relationship with an AH, I have lost all feelings for the person I once loved. We have been in treatment 4 separate times, for a total of 6 months out of that two year period. He is still working his own program, rarely going to meetings and his sponsor is his roomate, which makes me thin...	melcoulter	8	798	Sep 14, 2010 by melcoulter
	Sigh......tell me when it gets better.... (Preview) I know it takes time, I know I've got along way to go...but depression hit hard tonight....no precipitating event (that I can think of), just suddenly life seemed black again. I'm trying to find happiness within myself and so far coming up mostly empty....I can divert my attention at times doing thin...	mjhyankees	10	1011	Sep 14, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Point of no return... (Preview) So my Abf-sober has gotten a sponsor and spends every night out with them. Leaves for a meeting an hour before it begins and then doesn't come in before midnight. He used to let me know when he would be going out after a meeting so I wouldn't worry. That has stopped. I'm sure it's normal to spend 4-5 hou...	lizzakiss	6	896	Sep 14, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Going to a meeting tonight and I desperately need it!!! (Preview) I'm falling back into old, very bad habits. Namely, trying to save my AH. It's a bit of a paradox, because, I know that I just can't live with an active alcoholic anymore and that I am going to divorce him as soon as I get moved and have some extra money to file. On the other hand, I'm just so afraid he's going t...	stopandchat	5	727	Sep 14, 2010 by xeno59
	Today was so typical, why am I so upset (Preview) I have been sick for awhile now and b/c his rehab and car accident tickets recently we have not had the money for me to take care of some issues I am b/c ... so I have been pretty under the weather these days. Ofcourse he nevers ask if Im ok or if I need something, just claims he doesnt understand. Almost as I a...	kablisnow	5	644	Sep 14, 2010 by maresie
	I think it's over (Preview) Had a long talk with my AH today and it really feels, as much as I wanted to try to make things work, that it's over. Too much water under the bridge and I feel, a lack of enthusiasm when it comes to making the huge changes that need to be made in order for out marriage to survive. All I get is "I'll do my bes...	PAH123	14	1288	Sep 14, 2010 by PAH123
	Need a sponsor. (Preview) Hi Folks, Awhile back I posted and someone replied with information on how to look into getting a sponsor on-line. I'm having some trouble finding that information right now (I'm tired and can't remember the date.) Can someone please tell me what to do? I appreciate everyone. I hope that you al...	Lem	2	620	Sep 14, 2010 by DreamXL
	I tried walking away.... (Preview) This morning my wife got on my daughter's case...she wanted my daughter to eat fruit with breakfast and when my daughter ate a delmonte fruit cup my wife said "that's not real fruit you have to eat something else...." This is the type of thing that I will defend my daughter about. I told me...	mjhyankees	15	1033	Sep 13, 2010 by mjhyankees
	wow...do I have a great therapist...I'm so thankful........ (Preview) Talked to therapist about transference issues I was having...basically she's the only woman I can remember that treated me well...... She was amazing...we discussed transference issue in depth...she assured me that she wouldn't abandon me and that we could use this to further my recovery....an...	mjhyankees	8	618	Sep 13, 2010 by mjhyankees
	life w/o children (Preview) I have been experiencing a lot of depression about spending the rest of my life not ever having children. I have so many regrets in life but the biggest one is not being able to have a child who could be I feel the reason why I am here. Does that make sense to anyone? I know that I could've loved a child & b...	Hoot Nanny	3	704	Sep 13, 2010 by mjhyankees
	patterns of behavior (Preview) The dance with the ex A was a very consuming one and on many levels I will be dealing with the after effects of that dance for a long long time to come. Nevertheless, on some level with my family, friends and other people I've been on that dance all my life, its familiar I know the roles and it feels like &quo...	maresie	6	1176	Sep 13, 2010 by maresie
	Not Sure What To Do... (Preview) Well here it is Sat. nite. I have had my 7 yr old grandaughter with me since Wed. I`am trying really hard to work the program and be a somewhat healthy person in this child`s life since she really hasn`t any other adults around. Tonight I kinda lost it when she started to tell me about her mother and how fa...	Samsgram	6	1113	Sep 13, 2010 by jobe
	face to face (Preview) I am soooo looking forward to my face 2 face meeting tonight. Wasnt able to go last week unfortunately and really needed it. Sometimes as much as I want to stay positive and take each day as it comes, its a struggle. It is so helpful to get to that room and know that I am not the only one dealing with this rolle...	suzip	3	792	Sep 13, 2010 by Jozie
	Been terribly ill.... (Preview) I started last Monday with terrible pains in my stomach on the lower right side. My abf, kids and I had just taken a nice walk in the woods on a trail. We got home and wham! My bf was the one that talked me into going to the hospital. While there, they discovered not appendicitis like we first thought but...	Maize	5	703	Sep 13, 2010 by Maize
	From being afraid to being angry (Preview) (((((((((((Friends)))))))))))), Ok, off the pitty pot took a minute. Now I am mad....and when I am mad move over...... I am mad at the evil people out there and I will not allow them to hurt me or my children anymore. If I have to I will just keep filing charges....they will get tired of paying a magistr...	Andrea12	11	995	Sep 13, 2010 by tlcate
	Living with a Dry Drunk is sooooo hard!!! (Preview) I have been in Alanon for a few 24 hours. The A and I were doing "the deal" together at one point, but, at some point she turned her back on AA and has been "white knuckling" it for more than two years now. As the disease is progressive so is the behavior without active recovery. Sh...	Sanity in the making	9	1292	Sep 12, 2010 by buick23
	Chat Room Java is it down? Can't get into the chatroom (Preview) anyone else having trouble?	LarryWhiteford	2	728	Sep 12, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
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