Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

But it happens when I'm not around and there is nothing i can do about it other than damage control. She told me a few hours ago that "mommy calls me names and calls me fat (she's not at all) when she gets mad". What the hell am I supposed to do with that. I just told her it wasn't true, that when...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Given marital issues and wife's behavior (and perhaps mine) at times (I can't say she's horrible all the time) my daughter is being adversely affected of course. Talked about this in therapy and commented how I feel like I'm failing her. My therapist reminded me that I'm doing all I can and that I'm p...

Maize · Maize

You had a post about body language that really interested me a couple of weeks ago and I am just now figuring it out. I guess I just realized that I have been reading people's body language all my life due to what I have been through. I always thought I was kind of "reading people's thoughts",...

jewel91 · jewel91

I have a diary, an online blog, a computer diary (a MS document that I record my thoughts on) and I occasionally post here... I'm doing a whole lot of thinking. Everyday is a struggle for me I have tried to go to an F2F meeting but they don't have them any more in my area. The ladies that I called to get more inf...

caretaker · caretaker

Is it normal to not have feelings or for your feelings to be muted or numb? I grew up in a highly dysfunctional home with an alcoholic father and a mother who borderline personality disorder mother, who eventually and is currently addicted to Rx meds. Now that I am in my early 40's it seems like I just wal...

lyndebi · lyndebi

I decided after this last bout of depression and pain, that I am not going to put myself in hurtful situations anymore. Being alone, I had learned to "take care of things" that emotionally were breaking my heart. ex: euthanizing my own animals when suffering, burying them. Fixing heavy bi...

kitty · kitty

Hello, we chatted today and this was the nick name you used in chat. Please PM me when u see this message, as the email addy did not work for some reason, so the file came back to me. I didnt forget you! You can PM me here by clicking on my user name and I will immediately re-send u the info you wanted.

prisca · prisca

Im fairly new to the program, and still have a lot swirling around me, having a tough time finding a stable place to land. I understand it will take time to build a new foundation, that parts of the old one that worked fairly well for me for a long time, have crumbled and Im not going to be able (nor should I)...

John · John

Hi everyone, I have been nominated by someone (anonomously) to to go to jail "FOR GOOD" in an effort to help the MDA raise funds for "Jerry's Kids". My bail will be 2500.00 dollars and all of it will go directly to the MDA. I accepted this opportunity to make a difference in the life of someone else. I...

AlaMom · AlaMom

I haven't felt the way I feel in a very long time. I am feeling very anxious, scared, and insecure with my finanacial picture. I lost my job in May, ex AH stopped paying child support a month ago & now we are concerned that my husband my loose his job very soon. I am trying not to project. I am trying to con...

Jerry F · Jerry F

When I first got into Al-Anon and we use to read the definition of alcoholism, only one part of that definition mentioned that alcoholism affects everyone it comes into contact with and I pretty much accepted that. Over the years I have been here I have had daily affirmation that it was true and contin...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I'm really bottoming out today....I haven't felt this depressed in a few weeks. This stuff about my daughter (which I managed to not think about for a few weeks) is really bothering me now. Which brings me to the happiness concept. I still don't get how you can be happy when things are going wrong. A...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

ON SAT. I WENT TO A VERY LOVELY SPEAKER CRUISE. I WENT LAST YR. BUT THIS WAS MUCH BETTER & MORE SPIRITUAL FEELING. THE DAY WAS PERFECT--ALMOST 80 DEGREES. I EVEN LET MY HUSBAND GO--HA! HA! I ACTUALLY TALKED HIM OUT OF GOING FOR SELFISH REASONS LAST YR. I WAS REALLY GLAD HE WAS THERE BECAUSE HE WAS A GOOD...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

My brother has been on a binge since Wednesday where he can't talk, and can barely walk. He'll get plastered, pass out, then walk down to the store after he wakes up to get more beer, and the cycle starts all over again. I got a call from someone on the street last night that said he knocked on their door to...

MissyPoo · MissyPoo

Hi everyone.. just checking in. Things with me are great! Have been going to the gym 3 times a week for 6 months now..lot some weight, gained some self confidence. I am getting happier with me. Progress not perfection is what is driving me this time, so I am not getting discouraged by the fact that th...

kath · kath

I am having trouble getting past something that happened today. I lost it during class when I was sharing about the death of my mother. I started crying and could not stop. We were having an open discussion during one of my classes and I felt the need to share, but now I am embarassed and afraid of what peo...

snodebb · snodebb

Is there anything online for my teens to let their voices be heard. I can't get them to read any books, or go to meetings. They have had counciling when AH was in Serenity Lane for ReHab (waste of money) The councilor said they were handling it all quite well in fact they handle it better than me. They ar...

Rora · Rora

I got an early morning phone call from sibs saying that my Mother, who lives 6 hrs away and who has been in chronic pain for past month + has an unexplained fractured vertebrae and was taken to hospital. I'm worried about this, as there hasn't been a fall of any sort to explain this. I want to stay positiv...

bud · bud

post-divorce emotions, as I am- I decided I have a definite preference to be referred to as 'the first wife' as opposed to 'the ex-wife'. It is funny how something so small can strike us differently. I would like to think of it as tiny baby steps towards detachment. I may even make it half-way there b...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I don't think driving home into the sun after having my eyes dialated has anything to do with trust and faith but them maybe just in light of God watches over drunks and fools. I am still a work in progress in the stubborness area and the oppositional defiant arena. I remember my sponsor saying to me.....

flgirl · flgirl

Well it's taken me some time to actually get the courage to write this. This might be a little long but this is the biggest problem I've ever had and I have absolutely no one to talk to about it. I'm 26 years old-single mother (been in the relationship off and on for over 2 years)- I've had problems wit...

Aloha · Aloha

Ick ick ick. I think I need to un-friend my ex-AH or see if I can block a particular friend of his. Just feeling really triggered and it's all I can do to bite my tongue or keep my fingers from flying furiously on the keyboard. My ex-AH has an ex-girlfriend he's friended on Facebook a long time ago. This same...

Neece · Neece

Hello.....I'm new here. I've had this bothering me for some time now. I want to ask you for your opinion. Maybe I just do not want to admit my hubby is actually and alcoholic. I dated my hubby for 2 years prior to marrying him in April of this year. He is a very sweet and caring man. I knew he drank beer (...

lesa1 · lesa1

I wanted an honest opinion on this topic. I am married to a great guy and we have been together over 13 years, we have 4 children between us, all almost grown but one. My husband has been in recovery off and on 14 years ,mostly off, no use in over a year. Through all of our years together, I never went to alano...

AlaMom · AlaMom

I am struggling with a situation in my home over the past year that has steadily been getting worse & I am afraid that if I continue on the path that I am on I will do irreprable damage to a relationship. I have a 21 yr old son who for much of his life I have been close to. During his jr. high school years he s...

Jozie · Jozie

Funny how some things can get ya so excited, and yet so nervous at the same time ;) Recently, after learning more and more about the net and how to track people down, I got to thinking of a Friend Of Mine From my "Childhood" 0-11 yrs old .... I always admired her, she loved horses, as did I, she was...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Most of you will know from my previous posts that my AH has been alcohol dependant for last 6 or more years and his health has been in steep decline over the last 2 years. During this time he has put me and my son (learning disability, still at home) through the wringer. In August he came very close to dying a...

dori711 · dori711

There's been several lately, not for the drinking but for the emotional abuse that follows the morning after? There were flowers, and hugs and so many sorry's, but the apologies are becoming empty words that mean little. If he would try and stay cool for more than a couple of days, but it doesn't happ...

snodebb · snodebb

Gosh I am so angry but I knew the day was coming. I just wana scream and cry. yesterday was not a good day for me my aunt passed away after batttling cancer for the last 8 yrs my two teenage daughters were giving me problems so I think I am coming home from work today and sit down and have a nice time tonight ba...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Okay I got one!!...In 2 and ahalf hours I'll be sitting in the chair of a noted eye surgeon here in Hilo. We will be checking to see what we can do with my good eye. I have one good eye and with exceptions most of you have better, I assume. My other eye, (left) got damaged a year ago and I cannot use it and look...

caretaker · caretaker

Just joined and I am glad to be here and find some much needed support. I know a lot about alcoholism - my father was an alcoholic and died in an auto accident when I was a teen - as a result of his drinking. My mother, whom I no longer associate with is a prescription drug abuser and has been for 15 years. I d...

mom182 · mom182

I don't know where to begin. My oldest daughter, 25 years old, still lives here. That is when we see her. About a year ago, she was at the wrong place at the wrong time and was involved in a drug bust. 5 felony charges later due to different pills and parafanalia. We bailed her out. She has to go to drug...

rainbojo66 · rainbojo66

Good morning friends... I am stuck. Hoping someone has something to say that will unstick me. Since I came in, I feel like I have made so many changes, mostly to the way i treat myself. I spend time in the mornigns on Alanon stuff, pray, meditate..I really am trying hard. Maybe trying less would be better...

rainbojo66 · rainbojo66

I am 2 hours into the day...and so far everything is ok. I had a tremendous awareness yesterday, and I am sort of feeling "hung over"?? from the understanding. I went to get my kids (I couldn't stand it anymore). We had a great time, and bought a few movies out of the cheapie bins at walmart, new...

Sangyaa · Sangyaa

Hi everybody, just an update really. My boyfriend had been in a detox program last week, but left early against their advice. I had just been starting to feel a sense of peace, had been deep cleaning our apartment while he was gone, and was just about to start a long day's work on that project when I got a ca...

stariana · stariana

I am sorry to say that I haven't visited here in a while . . . my AH and I separated a year ago, and I have enjoyed the peace and serenity in my life selfishly. The reason for my post today is that I have a dear, dear friend (she's more than a friend, she's like a sister to me) that I believe is in BIG trouble. I thin...

Cloudsea · Cloudsea

Hi, everyone: My AH will have 3 months of sobriety on Oct. 4. He has seemed to be doing fine. He has a sponsor and goes to AA (though not everyday, but that's his issue; I try not to worry he is going too few times a week). When he was actively drinking, he would have these moods/spells were he was sort of b...

lmw · lmw

Haven't been on the boards for quite a while. I started a new job in mid-August and the kids went back to school on September 1st. It's been a challenge to get done what needs to be done, especially with all of the evening meetings (back to school, Girl Scouts, Cub Scouts, Religous Ed classes) over the p...

RLC · RLC

My son Lee called me this morning to let me know he had received word that he had passed the "Alabama Bar Exam". I am very proud of him. I told him this was the end of a journey......that was only beginning. HUGS, RLC P.S. Before he hung up he did tell me that his Dad's days of "free legal ad...

Diva · Diva

who fails a drug test upon her release from in-residence rehab of only 23 days. She uses the "disease" excuse, explaining that substance abuse IS a disease and an abuser cannot be expected to be "cured" quickly. What a convenient way to avoid taking responsibility for her ac...

Maize · Maize

She is texting me this morning about everything and does not want to hear anything Alanon. She doesn't see that what she is doing is enabling him and "saving" my abf. She is constantly checking his bank account, his phone record, and if she sees him out walking down the street she stops and...

lkristin · lkristin

Hi, I am new here. My husband has been struggling with drugs and alcohol for quite some time. He had been attending AA meetings, but it had gotten to the point where they weren't even helping. He went into detox this morning and then going straight over to a in patient rehab center. It is going to be probab...

kath · kath

On Thursdays and Fridays I become very tired from all the work I am doing during the week. I am happy that I have been doing so well in my college courses. I am taking my college one day at a time, which has relieved a lot of the burden off of me. Since my mother passed away in June of '08, I know what grief is and I...

dori711 · dori711

I have constantly gone to my husband and apologized time and time again. I often apologize for things that aren't even my doing. First I try to reason with him when that doesn't work I am usually the one that apologizes. Aren't we supposed to do this as part of the 12 steps. Isn't this making him feel...

BostonFern · BostonFern

Some people may consider my message here very dark and unpleasant. I'm just trying to understand what had happened to me. Please correct me if I had been wrong in my analysis here... I had befriended with several alanon friends, and have been surprised by their behaviors toward me. During the m...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

I'll give you a quick background. My brother just got out of jail Saturday AM. He was in for 60 days for violating parole (drinking). He was out for two weeks to the day before being picked up. Before that, he served a 1 year sentence for his 4th DUI. He served a 6 month sentence about two years ago for his 3rd...

clm · clm

First let me say I am thankful for a site like this where I can express my concerns and know you will share the benefit of your experience. My husband of 20 years has developed a binge drinking pattern and it really has me on edge. He is a well liked, professional man who is fortunately a funny, mellow dru...

lyndebi · lyndebi

I found this post made me uncomfortable. NO offense to my friend Diva. It is MY experience that we do not gossip about others here on MIP. She is no different than anyone else. She is sick. How many times do we read on here from our dear sis and bros that their A drank on the way home, or was back on drugs in a wee...

Maize · Maize

I have read about not letting people have power over me, and so I am working on this. I am important and for all of my life, I have never felt important. Til now. I have given up my power to everyone, my abusers as a child, friends, family, boyfriends, husbands.... I become enamored or intimidated by p...

Aloha · Aloha

I got a phone call yesterday from my ex-AH while I was at work. He told me he got some paperwork from the court and was wondering what it was. He made me nervous when he said it had a bunch of marks on it. I asked him "is it stamped?" He confirmed that the paperwork was stamped. That was GOOD news. It...

Maize · Maize

I am having a good day. I have felt strong all day. I have stayed in the moment here at work. I did not argue or let my ex-husband get to me this morning when he and I exchanged our son. My photography partner and I are working out our differences. I am in the moment. I feel pretty happy. My abf just call...

confused43 · confused43

A bit of background...I was married to an alcoholic for 19 years and have 3 kids with him. I finally left 3 years ago after living with it all of those years and him never being able to stop drinking for more than 2 weeks. He went downhill rapidly after I left him and was very angry and agressive towards me fo...

Julia · Julia

I need some advice on encouraging my 13 year old son to attend alanon for teens meetings. His father is an alcoholic. My son asked to attend alanon meetings over a year ago (that's how I got started attending the meetings for adults). He went to about five and decided (and rightly so) that the meeting...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Overall I'm feeling ok...better would be accurate too....I'm not as depressed as I was a few weeks back...I feel sort of numb....but there have been some positives I see in myself lately. 1. Time seems to have slowed down...I'm feeling more in the moment than I usually do. 2. I feel relaxed. 3. I've...

Christy · Christy

TO JERRYF!!! Have a wonderful day Jerry and thank you for being you!! YOU ROCK, BROTHER!!!!

Colnago Gal · Colnago Gal

Hello - I am very new to the concept of recovery and looking for advice (or affirmation or guidance)... My husband of 4 years is an alcoholic - but has not been able to admit it until recently - and it is this recent admission that I am struggling with. I have set boundaries only to give in with respect to h...

Maize · Maize

This has nothing to do with the ABF in my life. It has to do with my exhusband and his abusive ways still effecting me. Why do I let him have that kind of power over me? Today while we exchanged our child (I drive my son to meet the ex for school so I can get to work on time), he had a problem with what my son was w...

Jozie · Jozie

Still not Feeling OK... Sickness is lingering, I have been trying to move around a little more today, but just can't seem to find the energy to do it... Funny how when I am sick I can see all the things I never slow down to look at... Like ME for instantace... resently I have been SLOWLY Hacking away at my...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I have a doc appointment today at 11am. He has requested my presence. I had a bunch of blood work done a few weeks back and then was hospitalized for a few days with a lupus flare. He got results and wants me in the office. Never has this happened, usually over the phone is good. My mind is in overdrive....

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

This year's work is done. I have another deck i need to do next year but the one I targeted for this year is done. Did it come out great? Not really.....no carpenter is going to marvel at my skills. However I'd also say I'm not embarrassed by the work I did. Overall pretty decent, quite functional and...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My daughter shouldn't have to deal with this. (Preview) But it happens when I'm not around and there is nothing i can do about it other than damage control. She told me a few hours ago that "mommy calls me names and calls me fat (she's not at all) when she gets mad". What the hell am I supposed to do with that. I just told her it wasn't true, that when...	mjhyankees	14	906	Sep 29, 2010 by kitty
	I have trouble accepting this.... (Preview) Given marital issues and wife's behavior (and perhaps mine) at times (I can't say she's horrible all the time) my daughter is being adversely affected of course. Talked about this in therapy and commented how I feel like I'm failing her. My therapist reminded me that I'm doing all I can and that I'm p...	mjhyankees	14	1312	Sep 29, 2010 by Goodtillitsbad
	Jerry...body language light bulb (Preview) You had a post about body language that really interested me a couple of weeks ago and I am just now figuring it out. I guess I just realized that I have been reading people's body language all my life due to what I have been through. I always thought I was kind of "reading people's thoughts",...	Maize	1	672	Sep 28, 2010 by Jerry F
	We're all just sick (Preview) I have a diary, an online blog, a computer diary (a MS document that I record my thoughts on) and I occasionally post here... I'm doing a whole lot of thinking. Everyday is a struggle for me I have tried to go to an F2F meeting but they don't have them any more in my area. The ladies that I called to get more inf...	jewel91	8	501	Sep 28, 2010 by xeno59
	No feelings? Numb feelings? (Preview) Is it normal to not have feelings or for your feelings to be muted or numb? I grew up in a highly dysfunctional home with an alcoholic father and a mother who borderline personality disorder mother, who eventually and is currently addicted to Rx meds. Now that I am in my early 40's it seems like I just wal...	caretaker	11	2719	Sep 28, 2010 by Maize
	Stopping the wounds (Preview) I decided after this last bout of depression and pain, that I am not going to put myself in hurtful situations anymore. Being alone, I had learned to "take care of things" that emotionally were breaking my heart. ex: euthanizing my own animals when suffering, burying them. Fixing heavy bi...	lyndebi	3	762	Sep 28, 2010 by xeno59
	hello - newhere, this message is for you (Preview) Hello, we chatted today and this was the nick name you used in chat. Please PM me when u see this message, as the email addy did not work for some reason, so the file came back to me. I didnt forget you! You can PM me here by clicking on my user name and I will immediately re-send u the info you wanted.	kitty	0	567	Sep 28, 2010 by kitty
	introducing myself.... (long) (Preview) Im fairly new to the program, and still have a lot swirling around me, having a tough time finding a stable place to land. I understand it will take time to build a new foundation, that parts of the old one that worked fairly well for me for a long time, have crumbled and Im not going to be able (nor should I)...	prisca	7	903	Sep 28, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	Outside Issue? Please consider.... (Preview) Hi everyone, I have been nominated by someone (anonomously) to to go to jail "FOR GOOD" in an effort to help the MDA raise funds for "Jerry's Kids". My bail will be 2500.00 dollars and all of it will go directly to the MDA. I accepted this opportunity to make a difference in the life of someone else. I...	John	2	587	Sep 28, 2010 by Andrea12
	Am I doing this right? (Preview) I haven't felt the way I feel in a very long time. I am feeling very anxious, scared, and insecure with my finanacial picture. I lost my job in May, ex AH stopped paying child support a month ago & now we are concerned that my husband my loose his job very soon. I am trying not to project. I am trying to con...	AlaMom	4	799	Sep 28, 2010 by Andrea12
	Alcoholism and the family.... (Preview) When I first got into Al-Anon and we use to read the definition of alcoholism, only one part of that definition mentioned that alcoholism affects everyone it comes into contact with and I pretty much accepted that. Over the years I have been here I have had daily affirmation that it was true and contin...	Jerry F	6	914	Sep 28, 2010 by Andrea12
	Elusive Happiness.... (Preview) I'm really bottoming out today....I haven't felt this depressed in a few weeks. This stuff about my daughter (which I managed to not think about for a few weeks) is really bothering me now. Which brings me to the happiness concept. I still don't get how you can be happy when things are going wrong. A...	mjhyankees	8	542	Sep 27, 2010 by xeno59
	Alanon Speaker Cruise (Preview) ON SAT. I WENT TO A VERY LOVELY SPEAKER CRUISE. I WENT LAST YR. BUT THIS WAS MUCH BETTER & MORE SPIRITUAL FEELING. THE DAY WAS PERFECT--ALMOST 80 DEGREES. I EVEN LET MY HUSBAND GO--HA! HA! I ACTUALLY TALKED HIM OUT OF GOING FOR SELFISH REASONS LAST YR. I WAS REALLY GLAD HE WAS THERE BECAUSE HE WAS A GOOD...	Hoot Nanny	1	766	Sep 27, 2010 by hotrod
	Update (Preview) My brother has been on a binge since Wednesday where he can't talk, and can barely walk. He'll get plastered, pass out, then walk down to the store after he wakes up to get more beer, and the cycle starts all over again. I got a call from someone on the street last night that said he knocked on their door to...	NCSUgeology	3	722	Sep 27, 2010 by lyndebi
	That darn garage! (Preview) Hi everyone.. just checking in. Things with me are great! Have been going to the gym 3 times a week for 6 months now..lot some weight, gained some self confidence. I am getting happier with me. Progress not perfection is what is driving me this time, so I am not getting discouraged by the fact that th...	MissyPoo	6	727	Sep 27, 2010 by Christy
	shared too soon in wrong place? (Preview) I am having trouble getting past something that happened today. I lost it during class when I was sharing about the death of my mother. I started crying and could not stop. We were having an open discussion during one of my classes and I felt the need to share, but now I am embarassed and afraid of what peo...	kath	6	973	Sep 26, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Al-Anon for my teens??? (Preview) Is there anything online for my teens to let their voices be heard. I can't get them to read any books, or go to meetings. They have had counciling when AH was in Serenity Lane for ReHab (waste of money) The councilor said they were handling it all quite well in fact they handle it better than me. They ar...	snodebb	4	798	Sep 26, 2010 by jewel91
	A tough day just sort of snuck up on me... (Preview) I got an early morning phone call from sibs saying that my Mother, who lives 6 hrs away and who has been in chronic pain for past month + has an unexplained fractured vertebrae and was taken to hospital. I'm worried about this, as there hasn't been a fall of any sort to explain this. I want to stay positiv...	Rora	5	850	Sep 26, 2010 by xeno59
	For those that are struggling with... (Preview) post-divorce emotions, as I am- I decided I have a definite preference to be referred to as 'the first wife' as opposed to 'the ex-wife'. It is funny how something so small can strike us differently. I would like to think of it as tiny baby steps towards detachment. I may even make it half-way there b...	bud	9	808	Sep 26, 2010 by tlcate
	Trust and Faith #2 (Preview) I don't think driving home into the sun after having my eyes dialated has anything to do with trust and faith but them maybe just in light of God watches over drunks and fools. I am still a work in progress in the stubborness area and the oppositional defiant arena. I remember my sponsor saying to me.....	Jerry F	15	915	Sep 26, 2010 by troyc
	Please help, I'm pregnant, he's an alcoholic and I'm getting very depressed.. (Preview) Well it's taken me some time to actually get the courage to write this. This might be a little long but this is the biggest problem I've ever had and I have absolutely no one to talk to about it. I'm 26 years old-single mother (been in the relationship off and on for over 2 years)- I've had problems wit...	flgirl	9	888	Sep 25, 2010 by flgirl
	Divorce in the Facebook era... (Preview) Ick ick ick. I think I need to un-friend my ex-AH or see if I can block a particular friend of his. Just feeling really triggered and it's all I can do to bite my tongue or keep my fingers from flying furiously on the keyboard. My ex-AH has an ex-girlfriend he's friended on Facebook a long time ago. This same...	Aloha	9	1264	Sep 25, 2010 by xeno59
	Do you think my hubby is an A? (Preview) Hello.....I'm new here. I've had this bothering me for some time now. I want to ask you for your opinion. Maybe I just do not want to admit my hubby is actually and alcoholic. I dated my hubby for 2 years prior to marrying him in April of this year. He is a very sweet and caring man. I knew he drank beer (...	Neece	8	818	Sep 25, 2010 by xeno59
	My codependent self really messed up a friendship???? (Preview) I wanted an honest opinion on this topic. I am married to a great guy and we have been together over 13 years, we have 4 children between us, all almost grown but one. My husband has been in recovery off and on 14 years ,mostly off, no use in over a year. Through all of our years together, I never went to alano...	lesa1	5	1003	Sep 25, 2010 by xeno59
	Sins of the Father (Preview) I am struggling with a situation in my home over the past year that has steadily been getting worse & I am afraid that if I continue on the path that I am on I will do irreprable damage to a relationship. I have a 21 yr old son who for much of his life I have been close to. During his jr. high school years he s...	AlaMom	6	769	Sep 25, 2010 by xeno59
	Still Finding Pieces of my Past (Preview) Funny how some things can get ya so excited, and yet so nervous at the same time ;) Recently, after learning more and more about the net and how to track people down, I got to thinking of a Friend Of Mine From my "Childhood" 0-11 yrs old .... I always admired her, she loved horses, as did I, she was...	Jozie	4	1250	Sep 25, 2010 by xeno59
	Where is my spirit of forgiveness? (Preview) Most of you will know from my previous posts that my AH has been alcohol dependant for last 6 or more years and his health has been in steep decline over the last 2 years. During this time he has put me and my son (learning disability, still at home) through the wringer. In August he came very close to dying a...	Tattyhead	6	558	Sep 25, 2010 by Tattyhead
	How do you handle an A's apology? (Preview) There's been several lately, not for the drinking but for the emotional abuse that follows the morning after? There were flowers, and hugs and so many sorry's, but the apologies are becoming empty words that mean little. If he would try and stay cool for more than a couple of days, but it doesn't happ...	dori711	16	4466	Sep 25, 2010 by snodebb
	I'm so angry right now!!! I don't want to be (Preview) Gosh I am so angry but I knew the day was coming. I just wana scream and cry. yesterday was not a good day for me my aunt passed away after batttling cancer for the last 8 yrs my two teenage daughters were giving me problems so I think I am coming home from work today and sit down and have a nice time tonight ba...	snodebb	8	1114	Sep 25, 2010 by Cloudsea
	Faith and Trust... (Preview) Okay I got one!!...In 2 and ahalf hours I'll be sitting in the chair of a noted eye surgeon here in Hilo. We will be checking to see what we can do with my good eye. I have one good eye and with exceptions most of you have better, I assume. My other eye, (left) got damaged a year ago and I cannot use it and look...	Jerry F	10	1359	Sep 25, 2010 by Maize
	New and could use advice (Preview) Just joined and I am glad to be here and find some much needed support. I know a lot about alcoholism - my father was an alcoholic and died in an auto accident when I was a teen - as a result of his drinking. My mother, whom I no longer associate with is a prescription drug abuser and has been for 15 years. I d...	caretaker	7	1079	Sep 25, 2010 by abbyal
	All, I can say is help??? (Preview) I don't know where to begin. My oldest daughter, 25 years old, still lives here. That is when we see her. About a year ago, she was at the wrong place at the wrong time and was involved in a drug bust. 5 felony charges later due to different pills and parafanalia. We bailed her out. She has to go to drug...	mom182	9	1075	Sep 24, 2010 by mom182
	one day at a time...? (Preview) Good morning friends... I am stuck. Hoping someone has something to say that will unstick me. Since I came in, I feel like I have made so many changes, mostly to the way i treat myself. I spend time in the mornigns on Alanon stuff, pray, meditate..I really am trying hard. Maybe trying less would be better...	rainbojo66	9	905	Sep 24, 2010 by kitty
	feeling invisible... (Preview) I am 2 hours into the day...and so far everything is ok. I had a tremendous awareness yesterday, and I am sort of feeling "hung over"?? from the understanding. I went to get my kids (I couldn't stand it anymore). We had a great time, and bought a few movies out of the cheapie bins at walmart, new...	rainbojo66	9	918	Sep 24, 2010 by kitty
	Abf entering detox/inpatient treatment Thursday! (Preview) Hi everybody, just an update really. My boyfriend had been in a detox program last week, but left early against their advice. I had just been starting to feel a sense of peace, had been deep cleaning our apartment while he was gone, and was just about to start a long day's work on that project when I got a ca...	Sangyaa	7	659	Sep 24, 2010 by Sangyaa
	best friend in trouble - help!!! (Preview) I am sorry to say that I haven't visited here in a while . . . my AH and I separated a year ago, and I have enjoyed the peace and serenity in my life selfishly. The reason for my post today is that I have a dear, dear friend (she's more than a friend, she's like a sister to me) that I believe is in BIG trouble. I thin...	stariana	6	710	Sep 24, 2010 by stariana
	Recovering AH with moods -- depression, possibly panic?? (Preview) Hi, everyone: My AH will have 3 months of sobriety on Oct. 4. He has seemed to be doing fine. He has a sponsor and goes to AA (though not everyday, but that's his issue; I try not to worry he is going too few times a week). When he was actively drinking, he would have these moods/spells were he was sort of b...	Cloudsea	8	1247	Sep 24, 2010 by Cloudsea
	checking in... (Preview) Haven't been on the boards for quite a while. I started a new job in mid-August and the kids went back to school on September 1st. It's been a challenge to get done what needs to be done, especially with all of the evening meetings (back to school, Girl Scouts, Cub Scouts, Religous Ed classes) over the p...	lmw	3	621	Sep 24, 2010 by Karilynn
	Good News !! (Preview) My son Lee called me this morning to let me know he had received word that he had passed the "Alabama Bar Exam". I am very proud of him. I told him this was the end of a journey......that was only beginning. HUGS, RLC P.S. Before he hung up he did tell me that his Dad's days of "free legal ad...	RLC	8	782	Sep 24, 2010 by Karilynn
	And then we have young Lindsay Lohan..... (Preview) who fails a drug test upon her release from in-residence rehab of only 23 days. She uses the "disease" excuse, explaining that substance abuse IS a disease and an abuser cannot be expected to be "cured" quickly. What a convenient way to avoid taking responsibility for her ac...	Diva	5	1141	Sep 24, 2010 by Andrea12
	What can I say to his mom??? (Preview) She is texting me this morning about everything and does not want to hear anything Alanon. She doesn't see that what she is doing is enabling him and "saving" my abf. She is constantly checking his bank account, his phone record, and if she sees him out walking down the street she stops and...	Maize	8	820	Sep 23, 2010 by lyndebi
	lonely (Preview) Hi, I am new here. My husband has been struggling with drugs and alcohol for quite some time. He had been attending AA meetings, but it had gotten to the point where they weren't even helping. He went into detox this morning and then going straight over to a in patient rehab center. It is going to be probab...	lkristin	6	663	Sep 23, 2010 by DreamXL
	end of the week (Preview) On Thursdays and Fridays I become very tired from all the work I am doing during the week. I am happy that I have been doing so well in my college courses. I am taking my college one day at a time, which has relieved a lot of the burden off of me. Since my mother passed away in June of '08, I know what grief is and I...	kath	4	528	Sep 23, 2010 by kath
	I don't understand the 12 steps? (Preview) I have constantly gone to my husband and apologized time and time again. I often apologize for things that aren't even my doing. First I try to reason with him when that doesn't work I am usually the one that apologizes. Aren't we supposed to do this as part of the 12 steps. Isn't this making him feel...	dori711	14	1005	Sep 23, 2010 by wp
	Is there a danger of sharing too much? (Preview) Some people may consider my message here very dark and unpleasant. I'm just trying to understand what had happened to me. Please correct me if I had been wrong in my analysis here... I had befriended with several alanon friends, and have been surprised by their behaviors toward me. During the m...	BostonFern	15	1371	Sep 23, 2010 by wp
	Am I an enabler? (Preview) I'll give you a quick background. My brother just got out of jail Saturday AM. He was in for 60 days for violating parole (drinking). He was out for two weeks to the day before being picked up. Before that, he served a 1 year sentence for his 4th DUI. He served a 6 month sentence about two years ago for his 3rd...	NCSUgeology	14	3591	Sep 23, 2010 by wp
	Binge drinking becoming greater (Preview) First let me say I am thankful for a site like this where I can express my concerns and know you will share the benefit of your experience. My husband of 20 years has developed a binge drinking pattern and it really has me on edge. He is a well liked, professional man who is fortunately a funny, mellow dru...	clm	7	1487	Sep 23, 2010 by clm
	Concerning posting about the sick actress (Preview) I found this post made me uncomfortable. NO offense to my friend Diva. It is MY experience that we do not gossip about others here on MIP. She is no different than anyone else. She is sick. How many times do we read on here from our dear sis and bros that their A drank on the way home, or was back on drugs in a wee...	lyndebi	9	1020	Sep 23, 2010 by prisca
	Owning my power.... (Preview) I have read about not letting people have power over me, and so I am working on this. I am important and for all of my life, I have never felt important. Til now. I have given up my power to everyone, my abusers as a child, friends, family, boyfriends, husbands.... I become enamored or intimidated by p...	Maize	2	475	Sep 23, 2010 by Maize
	My divorce is now final (Preview) I got a phone call yesterday from my ex-AH while I was at work. He told me he got some paperwork from the court and was wondering what it was. He made me nervous when he said it had a bunch of marks on it. I asked him "is it stamped?" He confirmed that the paperwork was stamped. That was GOOD news. It...	Aloha	9	1084	Sep 23, 2010 by xeno59
	Ok....please help me with some ES&H.... (Preview) I am having a good day. I have felt strong all day. I have stayed in the moment here at work. I did not argue or let my ex-husband get to me this morning when he and I exchanged our son. My photography partner and I are working out our differences. I am in the moment. I feel pretty happy. My abf just call...	Maize	14	752	Sep 23, 2010 by Cloudsea
	I am a mess as my ex attempts to make amends.... (Preview) A bit of background...I was married to an alcoholic for 19 years and have 3 kids with him. I finally left 3 years ago after living with it all of those years and him never being able to stop drinking for more than 2 weeks. He went downhill rapidly after I left him and was very angry and agressive towards me fo...	confused43	10	5133	Sep 22, 2010 by confused43
	Advice on Encouraging Teenage Son to Attend Alanon for Teen Meetings (Preview) I need some advice on encouraging my 13 year old son to attend alanon for teens meetings. His father is an alcoholic. My son asked to attend alanon meetings over a year ago (that's how I got started attending the meetings for adults). He went to about five and decided (and rightly so) that the meeting...	Julia	5	1048	Sep 22, 2010 by Andrea12
	ups and downs.... (Preview) Overall I'm feeling ok...better would be accurate too....I'm not as depressed as I was a few weeks back...I feel sort of numb....but there have been some positives I see in myself lately. 1. Time seems to have slowed down...I'm feeling more in the moment than I usually do. 2. I feel relaxed. 3. I've...	mjhyankees	6	550	Sep 22, 2010 by mjhyankees
	HAAPPY BIRTHDAY!! (Preview) TO JERRYF!!! Have a wonderful day Jerry and thank you for being you!! YOU ROCK, BROTHER!!!!	Christy	19	1586	Sep 22, 2010 by Maize
	Newbie - advice (Preview) Hello - I am very new to the concept of recovery and looking for advice (or affirmation or guidance)... My husband of 4 years is an alcoholic - but has not been able to admit it until recently - and it is this recent admission that I am struggling with. I have set boundaries only to give in with respect to h...	Colnago Gal	7	698	Sep 22, 2010 by Mary Glen Scot
	Having a hard day... I don't know anymore (Preview) This has nothing to do with the ABF in my life. It has to do with my exhusband and his abusive ways still effecting me. Why do I let him have that kind of power over me? Today while we exchanged our child (I drive my son to meet the ex for school so I can get to work on time), he had a problem with what my son was w...	Maize	9	808	Sep 22, 2010 by Maize
	In need of Alone Fun :) (Preview) Still not Feeling OK... Sickness is lingering, I have been trying to move around a little more today, but just can't seem to find the energy to do it... Funny how when I am sick I can see all the things I never slow down to look at... Like ME for instantace... resently I have been SLOWLY Hacking away at my...	Jozie	7	701	Sep 21, 2010 by Jerry F
	Let God know I'm not so bad.... (Preview) I have a doc appointment today at 11am. He has requested my presence. I had a bunch of blood work done a few weeks back and then was hospitalized for a few days with a lupus flare. He got results and wants me in the office. Never has this happened, usually over the phone is good. My mind is in overdrive....	lizzakiss	6	914	Sep 21, 2010 by Christy
	For anyone interested: Deck update.... (Preview) This year's work is done. I have another deck i need to do next year but the one I targeted for this year is done. Did it come out great? Not really.....no carpenter is going to marvel at my skills. However I'd also say I'm not embarrassed by the work I did. Overall pretty decent, quite functional and...	mjhyankees	3	719	Sep 21, 2010 by lyndebi
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.